I wrote this in an email to someone about Jordan. I think it shows who Jordan really is more than anything else I can say. I am privileged and blessed to be able to to be her mother. She was my first one, I guess I got to "practice" on her. She's turned out pretty well I think. I posted some of the email below.
At the end of the day we all know that Jordan is going to die someday. You can't have a CF child and not know that. I had Jordan when I was only 19, I grew up very fast. I determined there and then, that if Jordan had to die someday then I would got to that end KNOWING that I had done EVERYTHING I could! Then, at the end, I can say that I tried, I did my best and then I left in God's hands. I will do ANYTHING I can for her, she has done so much for me. She rarely questions God. It must have been someone like Jordan that Jesus was speaking of when He said that "we must have childlike Faith to enter the kingdom of God". All of her life, even as a 3 and 4 year old, she always wanted to get married and be a mother. My two girls made a vow to God to be Faithful to Him until God sends them their husband. Ashton, now 17, refuses to date, saying God is able to bring her the RIGHT person. Jordan now says that she always knew she wanted to get married. Having BO hasn't changed that she says,(and at this point I break down in tears) it's just changed the person God has intended for her to marry. Calmly, quietly, she reminds me that we all are to be the Bride of Christ. Then, she says, that's what she will do, she will be found among that faithful she says, waiting with her lamp lit, waiting for the ULTIMATE Groom. I check her face for sadness, instead I see peace. "This is right", she says"...and anyway I never found anyone tall enough for me!" (Jordan is 6 ft tall!) And then, a quick look up, "Jesus is tall, right mom?" I say, "Yes, sweetheart Jesus is exactly the right size. She looks at her purity ring on her finger and twists it round and round. Finally a look up towards me, "Not to many people can say they got the PERFECT spouse!" She then laughs, flips back her hair as any teen girl would do and runs down the stairs to tell her dad. It's funny and sad, but I bet that when that day comes when Ashton has found her mate, I can see her doing the exact same thing in the same way. How did I wind up with this 18 year old child, who is okay with settling for being the Bride of Christ? And then, that internal tap, tap, tap...and the words "Lesa, aren't we all to be like that? We're ALL to be waiting for Him." And then I realize part of Jordan's mission here on this earth.... "And a little child will lead them." We must remind ourselves to follow her, as she leads us into the Kingdom of God, where someday we all will be, Home. Home Free!
LESA ULRICH
Mother of Jordan!
