John Mack's homecoming
Dear Family and Friends,
As most of you know, John died on January 15, Martin Luther King's birthday, surrounded by Jessica, Peter and me, as well as Sara and Scott, with short visits with Antonio and Sofia. At the end, in his own inimitable way, John made it very clear it was time. He put on a dress shirt like he would wear to work each day and then took off his oxygen mask. We did what we could with our love and medication to make the end as peaceful and easy as possible. Many of you have felt like you missed a a step in the journey between our flight back to the United States and John's decision to come home to die. I tried to fill in that gap in our belated Christmas message written a few days before John's death. Since not all of you are on our Christmas card list, I am sending it out to the many circles who have held us in love and prayer. You are free to share it with others. Many of you were scheduled for visits and missed them because we all hoped John would have more time. If you have a memory, a story, an experience you would like to share, we are putting together a Memory Book so that the grandchildren and the whole family can know Papa John in his fullness as reflected back by the many people whose lives he touched. Please send them to Barbara Gerlach, 1302 Geranium St. NW, Washington, DC 20012, or gerlachmack@erols.com.
As most of you know, John's Memorial Service, followed by a reception, will be on Saturday, January 26 at 2:00 PM at Peoples Congregational United Church of Christ, 4704 13th Street NW, Washington, DC 20011 (www.peoplescongregationalchurch.org), since the building of First Church is in the process of re-development.
Getting home to family was what kept John alive the past eight week. He kept saying he was in the right place and with the right people, and the air ambulance ride was worth every penny. We have included the photo of our family from our Christmas card, which may not transmit to all computers.
With deep sadness at our loss and great thankgiving for John's life and love,
Barbara
January 12, 2008
Our belated Christmas message brings sad news. Many of you knew we had planned to go trekking in the Everest area of Himalayas in early November for our retirement adventure. We made it halfway through our journey to about 17,000 feet when John began to having difficulty breathing from what turned out to be a devastating mix of high altitude pulmonary edema and drug-resistant pneumonia. He was helicoptered from the mountains to Kathmandu on November 26 and ended up first in a clinic, then in intensive care. On December 2 he was air ambulanced from Nepal to an excellent hospital in New Delhi, India where he spent another four weeks. On December 29th, we were air ambulanced to Washington DC where John spent a week at the George Washington University Hospital, where it was confirmed that John’s lungs had been irreparably damaged. Although we returned hoping that John might undergo rehab and qualify for a lung transplant, John decided there was no more 'comeback' in his body and came home on January 5. This is what he wrote:
From family and community networks you have heard about my six week captivity in hospitals and ICU's in Nepal and India. Last Saturday I was Fed Ex'd back to Washington. After a week at George Washington University Medical Center, I finally made it all the way home. In addition to the care of family and friends, I am now in hospice care. My bed is centrally located in our living room, a setting conducive to good conversation.
We all come into the world in basically the same way, but the ways of leaving are innumerable. The fortunate get to have some influence over their dying. I am one of the fortunate. I look forward to having you join me in the conversation.
We have assembled our team. Jessica and Peter have been 'rocks' and an incredible support to John and me. Antonio and Sofia reminds us constantly that life goes on and make us smile through our tears -- and we watch new life forming before our eyes as Sara and Peter anticipate the birth of their first child in April. We have a great hospice nurse who comes twice a week, and a home heath care worker who covers from 9:30 PM to 9:30 AM. The generosity and ferocity of John's sister Lucy got us home. She, John’s brother Tal, and my family have been here frequently. We have been inundated with a wave of people from all parts of John's life coming to visit. John has touched many and we are touched by all who want to share some 'last words' with him, with all the intensity that brings.
Many have asked about how I am doing. Right now my focus is on John, as it was during our time in Nepal and India. The middle of the day is my time alone with him, often lying next to him in his bed. Early morning, I go for a walk to get my bearings and do my grieving. At 3:00, I walk to pick up Antonio at school and we toss a ball on our way home. We have brought our bedtime reading down to the living room so Papa John can listen in. Several mornings, I am with Sofia between Jessica's leaving for her internship for a masters in social work and the arrival of the babysitter. Evenings we are surrounded by family, our comfort and strength.
I think of the lines from a song sung by Mercedes Sosa, Todo, todo cambia. Everything, everything changes. But not quite everything because we are finally held in love. Antonio said, 'If I could turn time back, I would tell them not to go on that trip.' A sentiment we all share. But as John says,' I’ve always tried to do the best with the cards I have been dealt.' He is doing that now, grateful for the forty years of life he has had since he dodged a couple of bullets in Vietnam, helping us all to see death as part of the life package, burning brightly in meaning-making conversation.
With much love,
Barbara and John, and our wonderful family,
Jessica, Scott, Antonio, Sofia, Nicole and Larissa,
Peter and Sara, and their baby on the way
1302 Geranium St. NW, Washington, DC 20012, 202-726-4382, gerlachmack@erols.com
Barbara Gerlach and John Mack
1302 Geranium St. NW
Washington, DC 200012
gerlachmack@erols.com
202-726-4382
|
