But what some people may not know is that since my surgery I haven't always felt so blessed and happy.  I feel like part of my joy was taken during that time of my life and it's hard to get back to being me.  I've tried to keep positive and thankful but the fact that I still have a residual aneurysm FUCKING SUCKS!  "Why me" is something I ask myself on the regular.  I struggle daily to understand what to do next, how to cope with my emotional battle and yet still be grateful to be on this earth!  It's hard for others to understand how it feels to live with a ticking time bomb, not knowing if everything is stable or getting worse.  You can't just forget about it because every headache and twitch makes you question what's happening on the inside.  

I've been seeing the neurology group each year and having angio's to monitor the residual growth.  Another opinion is in the works as well.  And as you know about me....I'm a planner so I have to do whatever I can to be informed and looking at the future (it's a control thing, ha)!

So with all that being said....I WILL celebrate today and where I've come since this surgery.  The beautiful little girls I'm lucky enough to be called their "Mommy", my amazing husband who's had my back every step of the way and family & friends that have shown up just when I needed their support the most!  I will work through the hard times and reflect on the good times to keep pushing down this path that is the story of me.

~Jenny