It's Sunday morning here in PA...looks like its gonna be another nice day...wow two in a row...
Sitting here having my morning cup of tea and realized I haven't updated in a while...
The butterfly release was beautiful...we were all the way up on the mountain....felt like we were so close to heaven....my butterfly would not leave my finger...we whispered our messages and off we sent them...some of them hung around for a while....
In September we will also be doing a balloon release...I'm sure that will be just as beautiful....I want to bring everyone there for that....
As you all know, Jenny knows of a women who makes bears and pillows out of clothes....We just received 6 of the bears and they are adorable....I did cry when I first saw them....I take mine to work with me everyday ... it is a comfort....I hug my "jeaneanie bear" and smell it and hold it and sleep with it right next to me...it feels like there's a piece of her always with me...
We will be going to my sisters next weekend for my niece's birthday....it will be the first time going there without ^J^...It just won't be the same....my brother in law and niece planted a memorial garden for her at their house.....we usually go on my sisters in-laws boat every year....but not this year....just won't be the same without ^J^...
My friend Cathy and daughter Samantha will come over too....we haven't seen them since last September when the four of us went to Wrightsville beach and went through Hurricane Hannah...Cathy and Sam lived next door to us in Mass....many many years ago....and ^J's^ first sleep over was at their house....or remember when you were watching them and they watched that movie with John Travolta and Kirstie Alley....oh yea "look who's talking"and ^J^ asked you about the first part....Cath, you know what I'm talking about.....right?
Memories are all I have now...and day by day, it's killing me....
I survive now by taking one "minute" at a time...I don't really see it getting any better....
I cry everday...little things remind me of her....I want her to be here enjoying life....it all happened too quick....sixteen years wasn't enough time with her....I feel so lost without her.....your children are not sopossed to die before you....it's not sopossed to work that way...and it's so fucking unfair....

I love you my ^angel^.....you are missed so so much.....

Mommy