Sorry for disappearing for a while. The pace of life has certainly picked up lately! We start our day whenever Noah gets up (6ish-6:30). We try as hard as we can to be out the door by 7:15. Usually it’s more like 7:25. I’m a lot faster than I used to be. After a full day at school, I pick the boys up at 3:30. Caleb is inevitably in the play-yard sandlot. Usually he has a shovel in each hand but Friday, I found him playing very intently with a bulldozer and a dump truck. If you ask Caleb about school he talks about Andy the music teacher and about going to the library (you get your hand stamped at the end of library time…this is VERY exciting). This past week, Noah decided that he wanted to play hookey from school with his Mimi (grandma from VA) so he got this awful cold Monday night (accompanied by three days of fever). My mom came up to take care if Noah so that I could go to work. After 4 days off and a weekend to recover, he’s definitely in good shape to go back to school tomorrow. Caleb has evaded whatever Noah got for the time being. Pray that it remains so!
We’ve been enjoying the warm weather. We were out in the yard a lot last week. I had some flowers that I needed to get in the ground and Caleb is always very obliging when it comes to digging. He gets the little trowel shovels and the big shovel and we dig. I’ve found that one way to get him to stay close by me in the yard is to turn the hose on a trickle and give it to him. He ends up very wet and muddy, but I plant and he waters and then he just plays and makes puddles and fills up his watering can and keeps very busy. He says, “Turn on the water hose please Mommy” very clearly for a two-year-old!
On Saturday morning we went down to Kelly Drive and walked the path by the river. Caleb fits right in with all those joggers. It’s a little scary because of all the bikes and roller bladers, oh and then there the river (no fence), but it was a nice time. Noah took his morning nap in the stroller and my mom and I took turns running with Caleb. There was plenty to see: a duck, some geese, lots of dogs, boats, trolleys, trains, planes and the Zoo balloon going up and down all morning. We also found the cherry trees and Caleb found that if he hit the low branches with a stick the pink petals would float down like snow. So we did that for a while too. It was such an enjoyable time. I missed Jared a lot. I don’t think it was seeing all the “in tact” families that made me miss him. It was more just me enjoying our children and feeling like he should be there right alongside me. He should be there. He was my partner in this life. I now realize how much is wrapped up into one person: love, friendship, companionship, accountability, the other Parent, a partner in running the household, someone to plan and dream with, someone to be strong and supportive when I’m weak and tired, the list could go on. It’s wonderful and very risky all at the same time. That’s how I miss Jared, when I feel a void in one of those areas. It’s still so very unreal that a person is alive and with you one day and dead and gone the next. How does that happen?
By the grace of God we are getting along very well though, despite the sadness that ebbs and flows. I am really enjoying being back at work. Interactions with friends and family are life-giving for me. This coming Sunday is the benefit concert for Noah and Caleb. I hope to see many of you there. I'm bringing the boys.
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