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Latest update

Had a visit to the Drs office yesterday after having one good day after the past 6. Having been extremely tired daily and having way to many dizzy spells and near blackout episodes, it's been a hard week. The issue is primarily my circulatory system and tumors in the arteries and places I don't need them to be but they have found their way there anyway. We will be contacting OHSU to check on clinical trials and other chemotherapy options. The chemo I am currently on causes chemical burns from the inside out on any places that skin touches skin so can be very painful. I was suppose to have chemo yesterday but because of the current burns I'm dealing with, the chemo would only make it worse so it was canceled until we can get further information from the specialist in Portland. I will know more on Monday. Having God guiding my time and days gives me comfort through all of this. Sure I get scared, who wouldn't? But it's not fear of leaving this earth as much as fear of not having been good enough. Fear of thinking I loved the Lord and followed him closely enough when I didn't. I so want to be written in the book of life. I have to trust that he already has me there. The prayers I need at this point are wisdom for the Drs., healing of my skin, and if there is treatment available, that God would guide the Drs to it. If not, that God would give me the wisdom to recognize and accept it but mostly that I not suffer. It's God's call. He's got me through this and will take me when he needs me and not before. My love to each of you.
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Comments

2 Comments

Della Guise
By Della & George
Dear, dear cousin Jan ~~ You are so right. God will guide you where you need to go and with His wisdom, you will be alright whatever happens in the future. We know how hard this is on you; your immediate family as well as all of your Towery cousins. PLEASE know we are praying for you and have been since the very beginning. WE LOVE YOU!!! Della and George
Misha Miki
By Misha
Hello Jan, I don't know you personnaly, but have followed your journey and have been praying and sending you strength. I knew Aaron going to high school and find his FB post inspriational with his running and his photographs.

Above you mention that you have fear of not having been good enough. Our lives are a practice, not perfect. We sometimes practice more diligently than other times. However, I believe as long as we return to our practice and our intentions are good, then we are good enough. As for the rest... I pray for the wisdom to your doctors to heal you quickly.

Sending strengh and peace.

Misha