When I was up at Mama's house this past Friday, I found a journal-like notebook in which she had made some notes. I had seen that she had written what seemed like a single journal entry in this book, and I took it with me. I had been studying the book of Genesis and had made my way over through Exodus 20 which is where God gave Moses (and us) the Ten Commandments. Interestingly enough, I had stopped my study there. I was hasitly trying to get to the story of Joshua. I had went to bed that night and could not sleep, so I got up, got my Bible and I grabbed that notebood of Mama's to jot some notes while I was studying. As I flipped though the notebook to find a clean page, I found what I thought was that journal entry I had seen earlier that day. This is what she had written:
"God help me grow. Take me where I've never been before. God you have taken me, in the last 2 years where I've never been before. I will stay in faith, so take me where you want me to be. I have not passed this way before- This is uncharted territory that You have brought me to. I would never have come to this point on my own. Sometimes I feel insecure and unable, but you would favor strength and courage. Blessed. As God was with Moses, God will be with me! This is way over my head, but not God's! In my heart I believe God is going to do great things. Don't wait for everybody else, go boldly before the throne and God will be there waiting on you. It is not over until God says it is over. God guide the way and bring peace. One day at a time. . . .
As I read this I was amazed! In Joshua 3:4 Joshua was leading the children of Israel through the Jordan into the promised land. I believe that she wrote this not long ago, seeing that it was exactly two years in July that she was diagnosed. In what she wrote, I believe God saw every word. He answered her in the most ultimate way. He took her to where she had never been before, into the promised land that we call Heaven. I do believe that Jesus was her escort into the land flowing with milk and honey. It is uncharted territory for us. It is a place that is "way over our heads" or atleast that is how most of us think of it. And when she got there I believe she went boldly before the throne of God, and He met her there, as Jesus took his seat on the right hand of the Father.
You know, I have no doubts where my mama is right now. I believe with everything that is within me that she is in Heaven. And even though I know that, God loves me enough to show me something like this to confirm it. Again, and again he has sent me little reminders of that. God is so sweet. He longs for us to have such an intimate relationship with Him. I cannot imagine not having the Holy Spirit to comfort me through this time. A time that I thought two years ago would tear my world apart. God continues to make Himself so very real to me. I have "peace that surpasses all understanding". I have heard about it all my life, but now I can tell you it is real! For anyone reading this that does not know the Lord, I would encourage you to stop what you are doing right now and ask Him to come into your heart. Ask Him to forgive you of your sins and make Him the Lord of you life. He will always love you and never forsake you!
Thank you all so very much for your love and support to me and my family throughout this time. I will never forget your love and kindness.
Jana
