I trust that others who are wrestling with these questions will find this helpful. 

In His Warm Embrace,

David

What about the promise?

I will heal Ian. 

I will give him a long and fruitful life.

I will put My seal upon him.

Did God truly say these things? 

Some may doubt that, but we don’t.

Did God fail to keep His promise? 

That would be a contradiction of all that we know of God as He has revealed Himself in the Scriptures.  We know that "God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent; Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?  (Numbers 23:19)

Did we misunderstand what God said? 

Yes, we fall in a long line of God’s people who have misunderstood what God said:

• Abraham believed that what God had promised meant that He would give the entire land of Palestine to Abraham’s immediate physical sons and grandsons.  But generations later his descendants were still fighting for that land. 

• Joseph and his father Jacob believed that the supernatural dreams God had given to Joseph meant that he would replace Jacob as the family patriarch and ruler over Jacob’s estate.  Instead he was sold into slavery and betrayed into prison.  God was actually revealing that decades later Joseph would become ruler over Pharaoh’s kingdom. 

• David thought that God had promised that His physical descendents would rule Israel perpetually.  After all, God had said to him, “Your house and your kingdom shall endure before Me forever; your throne shall be established forever.” (2 Samuel 7:16)  But David’s descendants soon lost the throne.  God was actually speaking to David about a descendant of David named Jesus who would come generations later, and a Kingdom that is still being established. 

• Isaiah offered Ahaz a sign that one of his descendants would defeat the kings who were laying siege to Jerusalem.  But now we know that Isaiah’s promise to Ahaz reached far beyond the immediate situation, for he said, “The Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold a virgin will bear a son and she will call His name Immanuel.”  (Isaiah 7:14)

• Israel treasured many specific promises of an Anointed One (Hebrew: A Messiah; Greek: A Christ) who would deliver them from oppression.  They thought His promises pointed to a military conqueror that would rise from among them.  Instead they received a carpenter who spoke of a kingdom but left Caesar on his throne. 

• John the Baptist believed that The Promised One that he had introduced to the world would deliver him from prison.  Instead he was beheaded. 

• Jesus’ disciples received further insight and promises regarding The Promised One, but still felt profoundly disillusioned as he was brutally executed before their eyes. 

• The Thessalonians were so convinced that Jesus would return any day that they were quitting their jobs and watching the sky.  But Paul reproved them for their irresponsibility and we’re still watching the sky today. 

• Others in the Bible “experienced mockings and scourgings, yes, also chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worthy), wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground. And all these, having gained approval through their faith, did not receive what was promised, because God had provided something better for us, so that apart from us they would not be made perfect.”   (Hebrews 11:36-40)

Obviously God’s people have often misunderstood His promises. 

But where does that leave the Lyons family and those who believed that God would heal Ian in this life? 

How does that affect how we respond the next time God speaks?  We are tempted to withdraw trust, to be more tentative in believing what God says.  It’s interesting that just before opening Hebrews 11 the writer quotes Habbakuk and says, “My righteous one shall live by faith; and if he shrinks back My soul will not be pleased with him.” 

Our natural reluctance to trust God could be compared to a boxer’s reluctance to get back up after being knocked down.  Once you’ve experienced real pain, it takes courage to get back up and face the possibility of getting hit again.  Although we really don’t want to be hurt again, we are determined to get back in the ring and to risk trusting God wherever He leads us.

I sure don’t have all the answers, and my answers may not satisfy others.  All I can offer is where I am at this point.  And the guidance I do give I offer gently with the disclaimer that I’m walking along an unfamiliar path.  But here are the thoughts that I’m offering to my children:

1.       Take this as an invitation to get to know God and His Word better. 

I remember R.C. Sproul saying that anytime he finds something in the Scriptures that he doesn’t like, he takes that as an invitation to study it deeply because it indicates some dissonance between him and The One he loves.  In the way Ian’s drama has unfolded I find myself most concerned for those who know less of God or His word.  They don’t have a larger context for understanding what is happening.  Someone might observe Renee and I exchange harsh words and conclude that we don’t love one another, but they need to see that exchange in the context of our 30 year love affair.  In the same way, I long for everyone who loved Ian to know God so well that they will respond saying, “I still trust Him.”  When a disillusioned John the Baptist sent messengers to Jesus asking if he really was the Messiah John had claimed He was, Jesus reproved John saying, “How blessed is he who does not take offense at Me.”  Ultimately the answer to our questions is a Person. 

2.       Focus on obeying what you know rather than getting hung up on what you don’t understand.

Moses wrote, "The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may observe all the words of this law.”  (Deuteronomy 29:29)  Theological questions can be fascinating.  But they can also become a cul-de-sac of useless wrangling about words and details that are beyond human understanding.  Paul repeatedly warned the young man Timothy against such useless discussions.  All my experience and God’s word tell me that I’ll gain more understanding through obedience than through speculation.  "He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him."  (John 14:21)  If we focus on obeying what we know, we’ll find answers to our questions along the road of obedience. 

3.       Don’t look for simple answers to your questions.  Look for eternal perspective that helps you to understand God and how He works. 

Some questions are unanswerable dead ends.  It’s like asking a husband, “Have you stopped beating your wife yet?”  A direct “Yes” or “No” could be misleading.  In a similar way, I think that when God speaks to us from outside of time and space He sometimes has to answer our questions indirectly lest He mislead us.  It’s like a professor trying to explain quantum mechanics to a toddler.  He’s going to have to dumb down some things or it won’t make any sense to the toddler. 

Last weekend as the teacher of my photography class was explaining the way a camera works she said, “What I’m about to tell you is not technically accurate, but let me explain it in a way that you can understand.”  I see God doing that with us. 

God tells us that He is unfathomable… then tries to help us fathom the depths of who He is.  He tells us that His ways are inscrutable… then tries to help us scrutinize His ways.  Paul tells us that God’s love is beyond our understanding… then prays that we would understand God’s love.  This is more than hyperbole. 

I am fascinated by how often Paul speaks of the mysteries of God.  A mystery is the unanswered question that lures us into watching a detective show or reading a murder mystery.  Paul had literally been to heaven and back according to 2 Corinthians 12.  He had been exposed to realities beyond human understanding.  It’s no wonder he so often spoke of how far God is beyond our understanding.  Why do we try to reduce God to something that will fit into a 30 minute documentary or a 200 page textbook?  Is that the God we really want? Is that the God who really is?

4.       Remember that God speaks from eternity, so it can sometimes be tricky fitting what He says into time and space. 

Daniel was wrestling deeply with the plight of his fellow Israelites living in exile.  So he sought God, and God spoke to him.  But what God had to say to Daniel transcended his immediate situation and spanned thousands of years. 

In Peter’s first sermon in Acts 2 he quoted Psalm 16 as a proof text for the resurrection of Christ.  I’ve gone back and studied Psalm 16 in its original context.  I have to say that it’s hard see how the original readers would have concluded that it was speaking of a future Anointed One.  God spoke to and through David about something that transcended his immediate circumstances. 

Now we know that when God said, “I will heal Ian… I will give him a long and fruitful life” He was speaking of healing in heaven.  That was not so obvious to us several months earlier in the time-space continuum. 

So why didn’t God correct us when we were wholeheartedly believing that His promise meant that He would heal Ian in this life? 

“Why” questions are often dead ends or questions that lead us down paths that attempt to reach beyond the limits of human understanding.  Job’s “why” questions led Him to a painful encounter with the God Who was and is much bigger than Job had imagined.  I feel like God has led us to a place where we have to ask ourselves if we are willing to trust Him in spite of our unanswered questions.  Do we want answers to our questions, or do we want to know God as He really is?  What often happens at this juncture is that people force conclusions that reduce or distort God.  They either try to domesticate God or they secretly conclude that He is not worthy of our trust.   

That does not mean that we should avoid “why” questions.  Such questions are enshrined throughout the Scriptures.  God seems to embrace those questions, and the sincere hearts behind them.  Even Jesus asked the Father, “Why have You forsaken me?”  If it’s OK for Jesus to ask “why”, surely it’s OK for us to ask “why.”   

I don’t know why God did not correct our understanding of his promise.  But I suspect that He knew that it was better for us to live out our part of His-story that way.  Ian was surrounded by hope and love to the very end.  We were not sitting around morbidly waiting for Ian to die.  We prayed fiercely and loved him with our whole hearts until the very end.  As we sat beside Ian’s body I said to Renee, “I have no regrets.”  I’m thankful for that gift.  And it was a gift.  I don’t know how this would have played out without those promises.  I’ll leave that with God, and keep living by faith that risks loving and obeying without holding back. 

Which leads to my final guiding thought:

5.       Don’t let your questions hold you back from believing and obeying God. 

The author of Hebrews ends chapter 11 pointing to those who died seemingly tragic deaths while believing God.  We call them martyrs.  The word martyr is a transliteration of the Greek word for witness.  They stand as witnesses pointing the way for us.  In the very next verse (the beginning of chapter 12) he continues:  “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses (lit. martyrs) surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”  (Hebrews 12:1-2) 

Ian is not a martyr as we understand that word today.  But he is part of that cloud of witnesses cheering us on to run the race set before us, and to fix our eye on The Author and Perfecter of OUR FAITH.   He now knows The Author face to face.  He now prays that we’ll obey what we know rather than getting hung up on what we don’t understand.  He now cheers us on to believe and trust God with our whole heart so that we can fulfill our destiny like he and Jesus fulfilled theirs. 

I hope that we don’t disappoint either of them.