Another GOOD morning to all,
here is one of my favorite songs and the lyrics, it is by John Mayer
SAY
Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations
Say what you need to say
Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you could only . . .
Say what you need to say
Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
Say what you need to say .......
First and foremost, thank you for signing my guestbook, and taking the time out of your day to react to my message. I cannot tell you enough how thankful I am for that. Just as my friend Stacey wrote, this is the place to "vent" and I am giving you my raw emotions. For anyone who comes to my site has an open mind and understanding that I need to get stuff off my chest. I DO NOT want to hold in anything, it is not healthy. So in all truthfullness, I should be writing on here a lot more. I trust in all of you to look at my messages with care, and that I carry a feeling of selfishness at times, but it is my outlet and a great one. ALL of you mean so much to me, even if we have never actually "met."
Every l.ittle thing that happens in my life, I remember. I remember crazy things that others who were there are like "what?" I have found that it is both good and bad. Some details you just want to forget, but of course there are the other precious details you wish to hold in your mind and heart forever. I am finding that Spokane is not as big as people think. I am constantly seeing people over and over and thinking,"how do I know you??" It happened twice yesterday in about an hour. Why I am telling you this I don't really know, again just writing. It just amazes me how our lives are running, intertwined with everyone. All of us are helping to make life work! It is a great feeling.
In my first 20 minutes here today, there have benn 2 babies born, 1 infant alert (meaning infant abduction or lost child, and 2 code 55's ( meaning someone needs multiple team members, not a good code to call.)....sometimes it is hard working at a hospital, for it was the place that helped me SO much but that I wanted to get away from so bad in 2006! It also tells me that I am a very brave woman, and strong! For I felt I had a calling to the medical community after all I have been through.
My dear friend Rolf, you are so correct in that all who we love who have passed would want us to live our lives to the fullest, and to be appreciative of the the time we have on earth. This is not it friends, we will all be together one day, and rejoicing! Anything could happen to us at anytime, we are not guaranteed life, anything can happen and it is why we need to treat every moment as if it was our last! Thank you Rolf for your encouragement, you are so special! The insight and positivity you have graced upon me means everything, and I needed to hear what you had to say.
Let us all pray for the Beyer family, for they all need the hope, love, and compassion from us and the Lords strength. It just breaks my heart for Kristi's family, but they will all be together again. I LOVE YOU BEYER FAMILY!!!!!
have a wonderful day
heidi
