Thanksgiving 2008
So much to feel thankful for this year – as Frank said, waking up on Thanksgiving morning; ‘I’m grateful I am still here’. Later as I put him on a plane to Hawaii, I reflected on the simple truth of that statement and all the love and care of so many people that made it happen. I promised him I would write here an update of the last few months. Starting with an apology for not doing so sooner! After the Benefit, life seemed to swirl me up and the weeks flew by as I returned to my own work and an attempt at normalcy (why do I ever try to do that?)
The Benefit went really, really well (see photos section) a huge Thank You to everyone who helped, to everyone who came, who sent money, bought books, held us in your prayers – and particularly to those of you who paid off the Weather Gods for it was a remarkable warm sunny evening in Mill Valley. Jack Kornfield’s conversation with Frank was intimate and touching after which The Oakland Interfaith Choir roused us all into dancing our way up from the garden setting to a delicious supper. Looking back, we are extremely grateful for the timing – it was the weekend after the financial markets took their first dive, yet people were extremely generous and Frank was very relieved that we made our targets and raised the money Metta needs to continue another year.
In the two months since then, I have watched Frank get a little stronger each week. He keeps up with me now when we walk the Oakwood Trail together, enjoying so much being in nature, watching the trees turn colour. He has been getting back into his work at Metta – there always seems so much to do, and I have worried that he really cannot do what he would push himself to do. His left lung has still not recovered its full capacity, so he is still breathless in my company :) I see his frustration at the physical limitation he still feels – his body stiff and in pain a lot more time than he lets on.
But more than anything I am struck by a new quality of vulnerability, of transparency, I see in him. He is like a delicate flower bud. While all around we are surrounded by the colours and moods of a California autumn, I feel in him a newness, the tender shoots of some quickening that has yet to take form. He says he feels porous – things can move in and out of him. He is fighting the pull of old habits, of his ego striving to re-assert itself, to put all the pieces back together exactly as they were. I watch him, with a tingle of exhilaration as I wonder what will unfold now. I have great admiration for his fortitude in the face of these physical changes, and also for the clarity with which he sees this as another invitation on his spiritual journey. An invitation to keep opening to True Nature… even when it means turning your back on ice cream and pumpkin pie (although he has been enjoying the red wine as prescribed by his doctor :)
So, I am thankful… for the wonderful generosity of friends who invited Frank to stay at their cottage by the beach, where he will hopefully get some deep much-needed rest… for a feeling of optimism that there are forces afoot in the world that may bring us a sense of unity at last, even in the face of some pretty big problems (I got to vote in my first American election – very cool!) But mostly for all of you who I know continue to hold Frank in your prayers and hearts…through you I have seen up close the power of community, and I am deeply moved.
I hope that each one of you has had a gentle, good Thanksgiving, filled with love and laughter.
Blessings
Vanda
PS I think it highly likely that all that rest and time on the beach will have Frank writing again, so watch this space…
And feel free to order books for Holiday Presents…we’ve lowered the price slightly to make them as affordable as possible:) You can do that at:
http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/359395
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