Today is a mixed emotion day... Our Ellie got on the bus for the first time for her first day of kindergarten. She was so excited! I was very proud of how wonderful it is to see her wanting to go to school. Last night we talked about all the things she would learn at school... She is most excited to be now learning to read. Ellie also wanted to be sure that there would be crafty things to do too, like cutting and gluing cause she loves that. I enjoyed talking with her and getting her things ready for the big day. She had the most wonderful smile as she gave a wave to bryce in the window and said see you later.

It was a happy morning. Then I got the chance to think... how things are suppose to be different. Bryce should be right there with his twin grabbing his back pack and blowing me a kiss good bye for the day with a smile... but he isn't able to. Instead he will go about his routine at home and watch out the window as his sisters go off to learn about the things they will utilize later in life. Bryce will learn at home. He will learn many useful things like how to get dressed and how to feed himself and how to be a happy little boy. He will continue to learn about his numbers and letters and have stories read to him, but he won't have a grown up life to prepare for. He will live his young life and enjoy what he can as he progresses on in whatever direction this Sanfilippo takes him. I am just along for the ride like everyone else i guess. Trying every day to look past all the should be's and the will never have's.
We have to just focus on the Smiles. The fact that Bryce is Happy, and isn't that what every parent wants for thier child, for them to be happy. I know there is more to life than just happiness but we will take what we can get. There are going to still be many bumps in our journey to endure together. Bryce continues to smile and fight every step. For that I am so proud of him too.
As the girls continue to learn how to be ready for thier full life, we also have to keep in mind that we learned so much more from Bryce. We learn to accept our differences no matter what they may be and to always look forward to tomorrow. The most difficult part is knowing that tomorrow won't always be what we dreamed it to be. While looking forward and moving in the direction of the girls opportunities that lie ahead, we also have to face the reality of Bryce's disorder slowly taking him from us piece by piece... what pace do we go. We have to slow down our excitement for our future cause sometimes we just don't want to move.

God Bless
Mommy Koren to Bryce and the Girls