Re the teenage thing - one of my daughters stayed mad at me for a while. My other two teenagers clung to me at first - and unexpectedly the other day, 3 years later - my son told me that he was sorry he was not his dead brother - really mad.
I have followed this core truth - I could never give up on my son who was ill - and I won't give up on my children who are still living, no matter what. I can't control their behavior but I can control mine - love her through it. That's all they really want - love and approval. You all are in my prayers, though I am a true stranger, far away.