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Esther’s Story

                                Esther Grace Earl
               August 3, 1994 - August 25, 2010

Esther Grace Earl, the middle child of four siblings, Abby, Angie, Graham and Abraham and parents Wayne and Lori (Krake) Earl, was born on August 3, 1994 in Beverly, MA. In November, 2006 Esther was diagnosed with metastasized papillary thyroid cancer. 

 Esther Grace has always been a spunky, energetic, creative kid, full of caring for her brothers, and a close companion to her sisters. She has loved monkey bars and climbing ropes, rescuing abandoned Saudi cats, skiing the Alps, impromptu photo shoots with her sisters, designing web pages, teaching herself to play the piano and making her family laugh with joy. She has amazed us over the years as we've watched her learn to read at four, seen her successfully maneuver immersion French in 5th grade, and observed her devouring dozens of versions of Bible story books as a child.  She has always loved to read and has lately become an online presence where she's developed several close friendships; some of whom she has actually met in person! In every way she continues to live out the values of her namesake, the biblical Queen Esther, who was beautiful and full of grace like our "Star."

In November, 2006 Esther was diagnosed with metastasized papillary thyroid cancer in Marseille, France, with extensive tumors already in her lungs. Following a thyroidectomy and seven months of treatment, our family returned in summer 2007 to New England for her continued treatment at Children's Hospital, Boston. We moved to Quincy, just 10 miles from the hospital, and Esther patiently endured a large dose of radio-iodine in November 2007. Esther's need for supplemental oxygen has continued to increase since then, with her ability to be active decreasing in equal measure. Another even larger radiation dose was administered October 2008, with some scary days where we didn't always know if Esther would pull through.

With her world limited now to her bed and its margins, Esther began an experimental chemotherapy drug in late fall, 2008. She was the first child at Children's Hospital to use this drug, which helped to slow the tumor burden in her lungs.  Sadly, her tumors have continued to grow so in May, 2010 she began being treated with a second chemo drug. However, all are agreed that continuing to fight this cancer is crucial and hopeful.


She continued to amaze us with her fortitude, until recently putting together 300+ piece puzzles, and later sending and receiving the ever present text as well as facebooking with friends; she also continued to master all manner of computer games! She worried that she wasn't as "nice" as she used to be--but learned to speak up for herself amongst the "educated" medical world, when she was truly the expert on her needs, was an accomplishment in itself. 

After a long and courageous battle, Esther passed away peacefully in her sleep on August 25th surrounded by her loving family. Our Star now belongs to the heavens. 


                             Rest in Awesome.



 

Latest Journal Update

This Star Won't Go Out!


















Star, I
told you I would write your story! <3



Friends,



It seems
that Esther's Star shows no signs of dimming! Toward the end, as her health was
declining, I promised her I would write her story. I realize now that I was
trying to control the inevitable, trying to tame death and that writing would
be a way of somehow keeping her here. I guess I sort of knew that, then, but I
was reeling with grief. I still am. Everyone who knew Esther will never get
over her awful, early departure. 



But her
star will not go out! Love is like that: it cannot die. It may change, or
flicker but it's finally indestructible. I really believe that. Of course, I
knew the power that was Esther, held her as a newborn and held her in death and
loved her with all my heart in the in between times and she was a mighty force.
I am not afraid of death and neither was she. I am so grateful that Penguin has
miraculously (thank you John Green!) agreed to publish some of what I wrote alongside Esther's journals
and other writings. That's where the real story is as her talent is amazing.
From the press release,



"The
unique memoir will be published in close collaboration with Wayne and Lori
Earl, Esther’s parents, who said, “Esther dreamed of being an author.  Her
life was her book.  She didn't get to choose the ending, but the way she
filled the pages made her story irresistible. Sharing our Star—our amazing
burst of sunshine—
is a way of spreading light. We hope others will be
changed as we have been.”



Finally,
as a family, we are extremely touched by the many Guestbook entries recorded on
this site. Esther loved reading them and I am sure -though I imagine she is
involved in more interesting things these days- that, if it's possible, she's still blessed by
your thoughts. And why not? If our love for her intensifies over time, then surely her
passion for us cannot abate, right? Certainly, her Star continues to shine and
that brightness inspires us, comforts us, and reminds us that we have much to
live for. So live here, now, and make it your aim to care deeply for others. That's what she did and I see no way to improve upon that.



~Esther's dad





















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Comments

54 Comments

Ann Velez
By AMV
Bendiciones familia. Soy de Puerto Rico, y mi regalo el pasado 25 de diciembre de 2015 fue el libro "Una estrella que no se apaga". Debo decir que lo encontré sumamente hermoso, las coloridas páginas me enamoraron, cálido, pues los diferrntes puntos de vista me tocaron, y al final triste pero alentador, no puedo imaginar el dolor que sintieron en aquel momento al perder a su Estrella. Debo decir que fue el mejor regalo que me pudieron hacer. Gracias por compartir su historia con el mundo. Creo que de ahora en adelante celebraremos en casa "El día de Esther". Xoxox
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Bailey Kyle
By Bailey — last edited
Esther's Parents,
I am twelve and am in the middle of reading "this Star won't go out". So far this book is amazing. I want you to know that your daughter has left an impact on my life. She has taught me not to take anything for granted and remember you never know when your last day might be. It may be tomorrow, it may be in 6 days, or 6 months, or 6 years or 60 years. You never know. She put up a good fight. She knew she was dieing yet she was still so enthusiast about everything. She sticks out like a star should have and her life ended too soon. I want to say thank you for sharing your daughters story with the world. She sure has left a mark on me.
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Elensandra Thaysie Pereira
By Elensandra Thaysie Pereira
Olá, família da Esther (e Esther, se houver formas de você ver isso lá do céu). Eu escrevo em português, pois sou do Brasil e meu inglês não é dos melhores (estou aprimorando isto). Mesmo que não leiam, queria falar sobre como me sinto. Soube da existência da Esther por ler "A culpa é das estrelas", do John Green (tive relutância em ler este livro, pois no Brasil se espalhou como uma moda, e nunca fui este tipo de leitora, mas me arrependo de não ter lido antes), ou seja, ela já havia falecido. O livro do John me fez acordar, sempre tive muitos problemas que me deixavam triste e ver como a Hazel conseguia ser mais positiva do que eu me deixou envergonhada. Demorei muito para ter coragem de ler o livro da Esther. Achei que poderia me afetar de forma a me deixar mais triste do que estou neste ano (me falaram isso), mas estava errada. Estou passando por tempos difíceis desde Dezembro de 2014, tenho passado por tudo sem demonstrar meu sofrimento, mas nos últimos meses está mais difícil. Resolvi comprar e ler o livro (que ficou tão lindo!!!!!!!) e teve um impacto muito maior em mim do que imaginava. Não estou mais triste ou menos triste, estou renovada. Me sinto desafortunada por não ter conhecido a Esther enquanto viva, mas agora levo um pouco dela comigo. Todos os que sabem da existência da Esther tem um motivo a mais para viver e levam ela em seus corações. Ela me inspira. Quero fazer algo de bom pelo mundo e parar de lamentar meus problemas (por mais que existam). Quero tirar a preguiça e a desmotivação de meu corpo e escrever o livro que começo, apago, começo, apago, desde que tinha uns 14 anos. Quero ser algo para o mundo. Quero honrar a memória da Esther. Deus nunca faz nada sem motivo. Sei que o câncer é um sofrimento enorme e que ver a menina de vocês partir tão cedo foi a pior das coisas que poderiam acontecer, mas quero que saibam que a Esther, com sua doença, tocou muitos corações e inspirou muitas pessoas a fazerem mais pelo mundo. Queria poder dizer que tive o privilégio de viver com Esther, e agora posso dizer que a conheço um pouco, e este é um ótimo presente. Obrigada por colocarem esta linda estrela no mundo, por cuidarem dela e compartilharem ela conosco, sei que às vezes dói compartilhar algo tão precioso. Obrigada por tudo, família Earl.
Alexandra Victoria A.
By Alexandra Victoria A.
Hello Esther's family!
I am a 16 year old girl and I can honestly say that as a teenager, I have passed by your daughter's book so many times in the bookstore without giving it a second glance. I regret that now. I found "This Star Won't go out" in my library today and I am the first person to check it out. I am disappointed of that. I read the first few pages and I was hooked so I took it home. I haven't finished her book yet but I've read almost 100 pages so far and I am in love with it. I have depression and this book has inspired me. I actually plan on buying it so I can read it every time I get depressed because she is such a positive person.
Love you girly <3
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little monster
By Nicole
Hi Earl's family i m reading this star won't go out... Esther as a warrior and you'll be so proud of her. She is now a little beatiful star. TSWGO teach that you just need to be happy in this world. Love you Esther
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Sabrina Rex
By Sabrina Rex
Hello, Lori and Wayne!
I have finished "Star will not go out" and i thanked God by Esther's life! She CHANGED my life, i wanted to meet her while she was alive in the earth, because she live in the paradise whith God, now.
I am from Brazil, and my country is in economy crisis but Esther gave me hope, She gave me life again. She is a star more bright in the sky, i belive that, and every night i pray for Esther and i thank for Esther have existed.
I love Esther, so much!


*Sorry gramatical mistakes, i am learning English Language, but i wrote with whole affection.

With Whole my heart,
Sabrina Rex,.
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Kay turner
By Kay Turner
I am reading Esther's book. She inspires me so much I wrote a poem. It may not be as beautiful as her, but it is sincere.

"Au revoir ma jolie petite fille francaise"
Born... perfect,
Only heaven didn't have the space for such perfection.
So, they sent you down to us.
But why must the brightest angels,
Be cast in the worst darkness?

You, glorious moon goddess,
Lit up the night,
Confused us as to when dawn was.

But what about you, Mon cher?
Who seen you shine,
When all the clouds
Blocked us from your light?

How did you feel?
Diamond heart, encased
In papery skin, just heavy enough
To hold your ribs.

Heaven wanted you back.
They sent their water through your breath.
They made you so light you could fly.
Even though, sometimes it's good to keep your feet on the ground,
And your head in the clouds.

Oh, pretty little French girl,
Why?
Must you leave us so soon?
Whatever darkness surrounded you,
You always shine brighter than the moon.

Oh, ma jolie petite fille francaise
You so infinitely shine,
You must be an angel,
And we still breathe in your light.

How beautiful your soul,
Pretty little French girl.
Always in our hearts,
Even if not in our sights.

Au revoir ma belle petite fille francaise.
Th nous manques
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Samantha N.
By Samantha.
I had gotten Esther's book last Christmas, but never got around to reading it until now. Every few pages I have to set it down and either 1) wipe the tears away or 2) absorb everything. How wonderful this girl is, even in her time of pain. What a shame that she is no longer with us, and that she had to be taken so soon. What a fighter, what a lover, what an amazing girl she is.
I never knew Esther, but through this, I feel as if she is with me and her positivity has brightened my day, and possibly my life.
I do wish the best for her family, and I hope all of her siblings, friends and parents keep the same happy vibes she did.
A strong girl, taken to soon. What a shame. Always in our hearts, Esther Earl.
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Ahlaam Rafiq
By in life or death and AWESOMENESS
Esther:
5 years and the star's burning brighter than ever! The song is being sung by all the people I've spread your story too. I know we've never met, but, my star: you're my bestest friend ever.
We love you, present tense
YOUR STAR CAN NEVER GO OUT
LUMOS <3
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Billie Smith
By ~Billie
I am currently reading Ether's book,it is absolutely amazing. I wish I could have met her before, or at least watched her YouTube videos or something. She seemed like the perfect friend...Someone who would always laugh and smile, but was always making sure that you were alright. I wish she knew that she DID make a difference in this world. She has been an inspiration to so many people around the world. I wish a lot of things that can no longer happen, But Esther Grace Earl...you got two whole books and millions of fans.
Rest in awsome Esther.
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