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Untitled

TGIF Everyone;

This is just a little update. I really haven't been feeling well lately. I have no idea what it is, and I don't want to be complaining about the pacemaker, because I really thought this would be the answer. But it hasn't been working very well lately.

I've been really bloated and gassy (embarassing, but ya know) and  now I have this new things, a serious pain. I've had a constant stomachache for 32 hours. It feels like an alien is going to burst out of my stomach and stuff.

I have no idea what's happening. I was looking on G-Pact's Webside (
www.gpact.org) It's a website for paitents with gastroparesis; and there was this story where a woman had a pacemaker put in Dec. 2008, and then in January 2009 the leads went out and she had to have surgery again. I'm tired of surgeries and really hope thats not whats happening. I wish I knew what was happening. I'm so tired of feeling like this.

I might have to be taken out of regular school again and do full time Virtual. It really sucks, because I was excited to get back into the swing of things. It was nice to have something to look forward to and get ready for in the morning. But I haven't been able to make it, and when I'm there I feel awful. Hopefully next year will be my year.

I can't explain how sad I am.

Is it stupid that I actually feel bad for me? Probably, and a little selfish. But I just don't understand why I have to go through this. Or why anyone who has this has to go through it. I'm talking to nine different girls who have similar symptoms and everything to what I have. It's sad to know that they're all going through this stuff too. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't feel happy with myself or how things are. I'm tired of this holding me back from life. "Living with gastroparesis isn't living," I am so sad.

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