Niki has asked that I, (Gramma Joy) make an entry tonight as her heart is weary from aching, her spirit needs rest and she feels her journal contribution would be extremely difficult to render on this warm autumn Sunday. As a family, we all thought that April 29th, the day of Ellie's diagnosis, was maybe the worst day of our lives, but Thursday Oct 9th now rivals that day. To hear Doctor Bendel say the dreaded words, tumor progression, were devastating indeed, and it seemed we all folded into a blanket of heavy sadness. The tears are still coming often and unpredictably. When I looked at the films of Ellie's little head my eyes were stinging with Gramma tears of how many times I had kissed that beautiful little head and hugged the child that God had so skillfully, perfectly created.
I don't have any more technical terms than Niki about the progression but in brief terms the tumor is progressing upward deeper into her brain stem on the left side and downward on the right side, so there is growth in two areas. Dr Bendel was extremely articulate and yet compassionate in her description and interpretation of these pictures. She has committed help in any way she can to consult other pediactric brain tumor doctors and as we speak has already sent scans to leading specialists both here and in other cities. We communicated to her that we are not about to give up on trying for a cure for Ellie and that The Master Physician's plan for Ellie's healing may very well be a miracle that comes through the hands of one of these gifted medical people.
It is difficult to wait on the Lord and in our immense human frailty, impatience and frustration and despair all want to creep into our heads. We ask that prayers be for guidance, understanding, acceptance and trust in the Lord and his perfect plan for Ellie and the huge family and friends that surround her. We must follow our hearts not our minds as that is how God speaks to us.
On Saturday, a wonderful thing happened to me while I was readying our home for an event with Grampa Wes's coworkers. I was pretty frantically working to finish everything before 40-50 people would arrive. I was sweeping the portico in the front of our house and a woman walked up to me and said 'hello' with solicitation items in her hand. I groaned inside thinking how can I get rid of this person. She was campaigning for Tara Mack here in Apple Valley. After I clarified that Tara and I have the same political party, I asked Kathy, the campaign volunteer, if Tara had any pediatric cancer awareness and of course began to spill Ellie's story fighting back tears. She was an angel of compassion and committed to make Tara aware of all the things I had told her. Then she asked me if it would be okay for her to pray with me. I said " yes, please!" She sat with me on my front portico bench, held my hand called out loud for complete healing for Ellie, in the name of Jesus, who shed his blood, died on the cross for us, was victorious, and commanded Satan to leave, NOW, that Ellie belongs to God and that he holds her in His Almighty hands. She is His child! I was squeezing her hand so tightly as the tears were again stinging my eyes...this stranger yet this kindred spirit who came by to pray with me. Just as she was about finished, we were interruped by the mailman who called out 'hello' and we were both sprung back into our appointed tasks of the day but with one significant difference; a profound peace that God is in control, no matter what happens, God is in control. I felt a sense of relief because we don't have to carry this burden alone, our Lord is carryiing it for us. Thank you Lord for sending Kathy, this messenger, to me and my beloved family yesterday speaking powerful words of healing and redemption and comfort. The Lord works in mysterious ways indeed!!
For a few days I may be the author here as Niki needs some respite and recovery from the emotional roller coaster of the last few days. I know you will miss her eloquence but I will try to keep all of you updated as best I can. Exhaustion is overwhelming me so I will sign off for tonight. Please remember to pray for the children afflicted with this horrible disease and thier families.
Believing in Miracles,
Gramma Joy
