Thank you for visiting Declan's web page. We've created this site for two reasons: first, this is going to provide you, our friends and family, with the most up-to-date information regarding Declan's health, treatment, and progress; second, it gives you place to post messages of love, hope, and support, which we will read to Declan.
UPDATE: Declan earned his angel wings and returned to heaven on February 27, 2012. His spirit carries on in his Mommy's and Daddy's heart and in his brothers' smiles.
The best gift we can ever receive is a story we have never heard, or a photo we have never seen, of our sweet Declan. Please share yours in the guestbook. We read and treasure each one.
Tonight is back-to-school night for the first and second graders in our neighborhood. School hasn't started yet, and the local elementary school has decided to try something a little different this year in inviting the kids and their parents in tonight to meet their teachers and check out their classroom.
We feel left out. We feel the hole.
Declan should be gearing up for his first day of first grade next week. But he isn't. Here, you need to be six to go to first grade. Although Declan was born six years, two months, and three days ago, he will forever be four years, eight months, nine days, and 12 hours old. Too young to ride the bus. Too young for first grade.
It is so profoundly sad to miss with all our hearts a person we do not know. What does six year old Declan look like? Is he still a feisty red head? Does he like his hair short or long? Does he care what his back-to-school sneakers look like? And for God's sake, what size ARE his sneakers now?
Does six year old Declan have light up sneakers? Four year old Declan loved his light up sneakers. One of them doesn't light up anymore, but Brendan will still wear them from time-to-time. Because he is four now, too. And light up sneakers are cool when you are four. That much we know.
Which one of the neighborhood buddies might six year old Declan be in class with this year? What sort of jokes would they share on the bus ride to school? We'll never know. And that rips the hole wider.
It is so immeasurably sad to move forward with the rest of world when we simply want to remain in that place and that time where the five of us were together. We KNOW Declan as a four year old, as the oldest brother, the daredevil, the light of our lives. He is the one in the red knit cap who loves to read, tells great knock-knock jokes, and has an infectious giggle. He is the one who announces "Here I am!!" when you come to visit, blows you 28 kisses when you leave (and directs you to put some into your pocket: "so when you miss me, you can take one out."), and puts his head on your shoulder and whispers "it's okay" when you are sad and scared.
Would six year old Declan blow us 28 kisses as he boards the school bus headed for school? Would he whisper "it's okay" to his seat companion, as they both bravely head off to first grade? And would he call to us, "Here I am!!" as he joyfully bounds off the bus, eager to tell us about his first day?
We'll never know.
Tonight, I (Mommy) is taking one of my saved Declan kisses. Because I really miss him!!