Since this has all started I have seen how wonderful everyone in my life really is. I see things alot differently now. I see how important every second of every minute is and I will never take one more second for granted.
I want to say a couple very special thanks to some amazing people. First my mom, sisters, mother and father in law and Kristin and Justin. Thank you so much for everything you have done to make this easier. From coming to watch Dax to listening to me cry when I didn't know what to say. Also for staying strong when I'm not. Thank you to my amazing neighbor Trish. You mean so much to me. The wonderful baskets you put together and the cards are so thoughtful. I appreciate your friendship and you are the best mom and friend. I have learned so much from you. Also thank you to the rest of my neighborhood who added to the baskets with such thoughtful items. I cant wait to order some good food from Chef Megan! Please let the Dunkels know we used their money for our favorite family meal Monicals Pizza. Thanks to Steve Strubhar also for bringing us dinner in the hospital. He is Dax's adopted uncle. Thank you to my Grandma who has been through many cancers and has been a wonderful resource to us. Thank you again to everyone and keep us in your thought and prayers while we battle this.
The Story (so far):
On July 16th Dax was admitted at Methodist Medical Center for dehydration and high fevers for 4 straight days. After many tests he was transfered to St. Francis Childrens Hospital for more testing on Saturday, July 19th. After being there for a couple days Dax perked up and since his diagnosis was still undeteremined they told us we could go home. The next day we were admitted again because he had another high fever and he wouldn't stay awake. Within a few days and many tests later we found a mass in his sinus cavity along with bone deteration. After finding that out we were told we needed to go to the University of Iowa to get the biopsy of the mass because it was in a very critical spot. It's located at the top part of his nose right between his eyes. It's farther back in the head near the brain and optic nerve. We arrived at the University of Iowa on Friday July 25th and found out that it was for sure a malignant tumor Saturday July 26th. Now we are waiting for results from the pathologist to determine what type of cancer it is so we can begin treatment. We do know chemo is almost certain and surgery to remove it is off the table. The tumor is in the upper sinus cavity and is roughly the size of a bottlecap. See the photo for the MRI...
Dec 13, 2013 12:41am
The last several years have been a trial for sure. Today I can say I'm beyond thankful for every single one of them. It all started with God giving a little boy named Dax that would end up saving my life and giving my life a purpose. I could never have began to imagine the plan, when I gave birth to the Dax, that God had in store for my heart. The first moment I saw Dax my heart was changed forever. I had never loved something more than my needs before. As time went on and Dax got sick people were placed in my life that I had never meet before that knew this peace in there hearts about loving others and I was instantly drawn to them. The list of those people is long and honestly some came in and out so fast I couldn't tell you their names. As I sit back and think about it I'm in awe of the whole situation. I was drawn to people who knew Jesus and I didn't. He was working in my heart to bring me to him and I continued to push him away and lean on what I thought was just the "good" in people. When I knew Dax wasn't going to survive the overwhelming love of his grace and peace again took over my heart and helped me get through his death. Putting Dax's body into the ground was awful for me because to me because I didn't know the truth. After that, with Dax's movie beginning made and my daughter being born, I didn't have time to grieve. Before I knew it my marriage was over and I was left only to go towards what I had been drawn to since day one. I went to church and gave my life to God. It's been a year since I have been saved. In that time I have grieved many losses and gained more true knowledge about what real love is. God is love. No matter what problem I'm facing weather it be divorce, a tornado hitting my house, a hard heart or just everyday fears I have found every answer in Gods word. I use to look for that in people and I let that shape my thoughts and feelings. My heart always would feel the pains from turning to people but its shape stood still.
Today a young girl by the name of Cora Peter's is passing away from cancer. Cora came to St. Jude when Dax was passing away. We were both on the same floor and I had heard she was newly diagnosed. Gifts were flooding our door step and some caramel apples were dropped off. I asked the nurse to please send them over to Cora and her family. I knew what they were feeling being newly diagnosed and I wanted more than anything to take it away from them. Four years later Cora is in the same boat we were in with Dax. They don't know how many more precious hours are left for Cora. This family has been on my heart everyday since I first met them. They have become a second family to me and Cora has inspired me to press on with my foundation and just life in general. The Dax Locke Foundation has sponsored a camp that St. Jude kids attend for one week each summer now for 2 years. The camp is staffed with St. Jude nurses and doctors and the kids are able to get their treatment at the camp and just be kids. My favorite part about it is the kids are all patients of St. Jude and they feel "normal" there. The reason I'm evening describing this camp right now is because this year Cora was able to attend. Cora doesn't cry because she is, in her words, the boss:) Cora cried leaving camp that week and told me it was the best week of her life. She was able to connect with girls in her group who have all lost their own hair, been hospitalized, missed tons of school, and felt out of place for being sick. I will cherish those words and push forward with my mission because of her and Dax. I spend a lot of time with her and her family right now and its been a huge blessing for me to witness God's perfect plan with my blinders off. I didn't see things this way when Dax was passing. I saw all things through information based off of papers, peoples thoughts and my emotions. It's not easy, don't get me wrong, but it's life changing to put your heart out there in a hard situation. Cora's has taught me so much about faith, hope, love and mostly the importance of selflessness. Please take time and visit her caring bridge or facebook page to leave her messages of love like you all do for me.
Guestbook signed 1 time today
To purchase Dax T-shirts, bracelets, key chains,car stickers or to just make a donation to the Dax Locke Foundation
Dax's CaringBridge site is made possible through donations. You can make a donation to CaringBridge.