Death certificate

Yesterday I finally had time to print the wedding photos. (I know it seems weird to do it after David's death, but he was sick almost our whole marriage).  Afterward I had dinner with a bunch of the female dance people and it was fun.  The dance people really wanted me to dance tonight and so I decided to give it a go. This morning I got a call and picked up David's death certificate.  That was harder than I expected.  I went to the dance studio and I struggled to stay there.  People who know me understand how much dance has meant to me before I met David.  I found out last week they were going to close the studio in May so there are only a few more weeks to dance there.  I went, but I was a total mess.  Between people telling me how sorry they were that David didn't make it and people being sad the studio was closing I couldn't stand being there.  It was a complete bummer.  I felt bad leaving early, but I couldn't stay.  I guess I just wasn't ready.  Every night I pray that God will give me direction and help me to use what has happened to David and I to his glory.  I can't begin to tell you how much I miss David and how I struggle to not be angry with God.

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