David Gabbard's Journal
Written Apr 17, 2013 5:53pmToday I have had a day of ups and downs. I had to speak with the social security people today and inform them that David died. Of course they were taken aback. I just don't know any other way to say he is dead, but just that. Then I had to turn off his cell phone. I was having a hard time with that so what I did was turned his number off, but am using his phone instead of mine. That way I still feel close. On the up side, my son Matt came to have dinner with me. It was good to see him and just have time to spend together. It is interesting that he broke his phone last night so I was able to give him my phone and now we both have nice phones and it didn't cost us anything. I received a very nice card from a David Decker today. He knew David from Open Door Church, but has since moved away. It wasn't so much what the card said, but his own written word that touched me. "May God's peace comfort you. David's faith was remarkable; his love for God has rekindled the love in my heart. He has touched many lives which will be crowns upon his head as he rejoices in heaven...I am glad to have been able to spend the last days of his life with him if only through his email and your blog." I couldn't help but cry. Knowing that this horrible tragedy I am living through is touching others and his life continues to be of impact on others lives was very encouraging. I just wanted to thank him for making my day.
Written Apr 15, 2013 9:23pmI haven't known what to say for days on Caring Bridge. I want to say that life goes on and I am doing well. In some respects I am. I am healthy, bought a dependable car (at David's urging before he died), and have a place to live for now. On the other side I feel such a tremendous void. I wake up every morning with David on my mind and think of him every night as I pray. I no longer have his warm hands or comforting words to keep me feeling loved and secure. I pray each night thanking God for the time I had with him, but oh how I wish he was still here with me. I wish I could cuddle up next to him on the couch and watch some mindless show, just so that we could be together. There are so many things we never got to do together, but wanted to. I know God will give me the strength to go on, but for now I am missing my other half. Please continue to pray for me as David now doesn't need them. He is in the place he always spoke so fondly of.
A week without him
Written Apr 14, 2013 9:46pmIt's been over a week now without the love of my life. I have survived, but that is the extent of it. I got my dog Riley back after almost two months and I think that has been helpful. He is lying beside me right now. I swear when he came home he looked for David. It was hard to see him go room to room looking for him. I am thankful tonight for my dance friends who have decided to make sure I get out of the house. Tonight I had dinner with Ed and Melissa and it was so nice. They are encouraging me to take up dancing again since everyone who has seen me ballroom dance knows I love it. There is a smile that comes from inside. David once told me that he loved to dance with me because I smile brightly. I want to dance, but it is very hard to get back to a new life.