Hi there, I've been up since 6:30 this morning, we are going to the Funeral Home today to pay the remaining balance for Damon's funeral expenses and then we are going to visit his grave after that. I spent most of yesterday cleaning our house, the white roses from Damon's casket spray finally dried and I hung them up on our wall just above our family picture going up our stairs. I also cleaned out his crib, washed his blankets and cleaned up things in our room. When I was drying Damon's bottle out Tristan came over to the sink and said "why you washing Damon's bottle, how come you didn't give it to him at the funeral?" I asked him if he thought Damon still needed it and he said "Damon needs to suck his bottle" I told him that Damon didn't need that bottle anymore, it was for us to remember him. Then he said "he got a new bottle in Heaven?" I started crying of course Tristan is so innocent and curious, he tells me everyday how much he misses Damon. Sometimes he says he's mad cause Damon died, other times he says how much he misses him or he asks questions about Heaven and what Damon is doing now. Alexis and Dylan are more shy to talk about Damon. Dylan said he gets too sad when he thinks about Damon so he'd rather play hockey cause that makes him happy. Alexis told me she cries sometimes when she lays in bed cause she remembers when we used to let her take Damon to be with her on the weekends. I talk to Delaney about Damon all the time, sometimes I wonder if he gets sick of it. He says he doesn't mind though when I ask him. We are supposed to be going for a BBQ at Veronica's today but I'm not sure how up to that I am, I haven't felt like socializing too much since Damon died. Jared woke up early too--usually doesn't this early (he woke up at 6:30 a.m), he's so good during the nights he only wakes up once or twice all night. Now that I'm up I thought I'd clean up a bit b4 everyone gets up and maybe make breakfast before we leave this morning. I'm feeling a little better today..
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