It has been ten months since Connor entered heaven, where he is now living pain-free, worry-free, and accessory-free. We know his contagious smile is now adding another amazing light to heaven!

Sometimes in an attempt to help, give hope, or offer something to us, people say things to us about “moving on with our lives” or “moving forward.” These kinds of words, although intended to help, can be very painful, so I thought I’d explain a bit.

It is not as if you move on, or move forward, and leave that person behind. That person goes with you. The memories, their spirit, their life, go right along beside you because they have changed who you are forever. Connor will always be a vibrant part of both Scott and I, and whatever future plans we may have.

We are so very thankful for our little boy. He has helped to grow the three of us together and cultivated our lives into something so wonderful. We miss him so much we feel many times like we cannot survive this new thing we have to still call a “life”. On the difficult days especially, it feels like what we are doing is some kind of strange dream that we are sleepwalking through, and we just need to wake up. But we don’t ever wake up. We just have to go on. We pray for God’s strength, peace and comfort to get through each and every day, and that gives us the strength to then do that again another day, and another and another. One day at a time.

We find things that help our hearts to heal just a little bit more. These are almost always things that remind us of Connor in some way. Things that helped him when he was here with us, or those he loved doing for others. He was such a giving, gracious little boy that there are lots of things we can do every day that bring his joy and his life into the lives of others around us. We are so thankful to God for Connor, and we will treasure him in our hearts, now and always.

**Check out this CNN article about 4 Paws for Ability, the agency where we got Casey, Connor's service dog - Dogs work magic on kids with Autism

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