Connor Salzman's Journal
Written Mar 6, 2014 8:43am by Jamie SalzmanConnor's labs are trending the right way!!! WooHOO! They didn't drastically change but a few numbers in the right direction is better then a few numbers in the wrong direction. Were happy! He will get labs again next week to make sure they continue the right way and we will still get a ct scan on the 12th. Thank you for the support and prayers.
1 year later
Written Mar 4, 2014 1:10pm by Jamie SalzmanToday is March4th which means it has been One year since we found out our little boy had cancer. I remember it like it was yesterday. Even when I dont want to remember it, the memories just stay there as constant reminders to never take life for granted. This day One year ago was a Monday, it was a normal day like any other in our house. Lowell took Connor to daycare that morning and I scheduled a check up for Connor with his new pediatrician for a persistent cough that he had. We were not concerned in the slightest. Connor was a healthy boy, he never missed a checkup and he was up to date on all of his shots. He was in the 90th percentile for his height and weight and was developing right on track. He was perfect. I remember when the pediatrician was doing her check up and she seemed focused on his belly. I kept explaining his cough and she just didn't seem concerned. I could tell at that very moment that she was more concerned with his large belly then his cough. Panic started to sink in but however im naturally overally worried about Connor and I kind of always think of the worst first so when the doctor told me I would need to go to the hospital for an ultrasound I went into panic and cried right away but never thinking that my son would have cancer. I called Lowell who was still at work and told him to meet us at the hospital. Lowell was completely calm and had to constantly tell me to stop worrying. Me however I had already called every person I knew that worked at that hospital or knew anything medically to explain the symptoms and try to find out why. Why was my perfectly healthy beautiful little boy going to the hospital? What does this doctor know that I don't know? How could I not know that something was wrong with my child? All we were told was that Connor's liver seemed low and his spleen seemed enlarged. An ultrasound would tell us why. After spending 5+ hours in the ER we were getting closer to answers. A doctor came in and gave us a list of reasons on why Connor's liver could be enlarged and explained to us what they were doing to find the reason. She told us CANCER, she said many other things that it could be but when I heard the word cancer something hit me in the bottom of my stomach and it was like a whirlpool of emotions and realizations that my son had cancer. I didn't know it then but looking back now I think thats when I knew. I remember looking at my mom who took off work to sit with us and instantly realizing she was with us because she knew his symptoms were something more, thinking to myself that she was there because she knew I would need her and asking her if it could be cancer."No" her and lowell both replied. Finally about another 2 hours that seemed like 200 hours later the doctor came in with an ER nurse. I remember the doctor did not look at us, she sat with her back turned to our faces and the nurse told us that "it was serious" as I took a deep breath lowell asked the words that I couldnt get out, "how serious?" lowell asked but neither of us were really ready for the answer we were about to get. The nurse softly said "he has tumors in his liver, several tumors" I still sat there confused and then she said the words that no parent/person should ever have to hear "your son has cancer" the words were so sharp and powerful I felt like they knocked the wind right out of me. March 4th was the last day this family ever lived a "normal" life. Looking back and thinking about all the things said and done before this moment that I wish I could take back. Me and lowell were fighting that day, fighting about what we were going to do for Connor's 2nd birthday. At that time it meant everything to me and I was furious with Lowell as he was upset with me and now to realize how small and petty that was. We should have been so grateful to have a 2nd birthday with him and so grateful to try and figure out how to divide our time between all of his and our loved ones. Connor ended up spending his 2nd birthday in the hospital getting the best gift anyone could ever give from a complete stranger. Connor received the gift of life for his 2nd birthday and we will never be able to top that. Life is so full of surprises and no matter what you think you have planned or god sometimes has bigger plans. You don't always know why and sometimes you may never know why but life is a precious gift from god that he does indeed control and he watches over everyone of us in a different way. I'll never understand why Connor had to get cancer but i do understand the question "why not?" Life is not promised and at any moment it can be taken away no matter who you are or what you have. Live life to the fullest and never take any moments for granted even the small ones like tucking your kids in at night. Thank you for all of the support and prayers we have gotten over this past year. It's been an extremely long year with a rollercoaster of emotions but we are very grateful and count our blessings every single day. On another note Connor's liver numbers are still high. He also has an elevated cpk which they now worry that if that number gets to high he could go into kidney failure. That number was at 550 last week they said when its nears 2000 they would admit Connor and put him on iv fluid to keep his kidney's flushed. We are not sure if the reasoning yet for these high numbers but his doctors are looking. He had labs today and we should get the results tomorrow and I will update with those results but please pray for normal. We also have a ct scan scheduled for next week 3/12 and another hearing test because his speech is still not improving. Life after cancer is not easy and we live practically every day in a state of panic and fear but we live and for that we are blessed. Thank you xoxo
Written Jan 21, 2014 6:50am by Jamie SalzmanSo we went to the hospital yesterday and had Connor's labs done, last time his liver numbers were a little high so they wanted to recheck to keep a close eye on them for signs of rejection. Well his liver numbers are still high but they have not gone up but a few numbers which would not really stay consistent with rejection. Rejection the numbers would usually steady raise so now they are doing more labs to check his cpk. I dont have to much information on what the cpk is and what it would mean for his liver I just know what I googled and it has to do with his muscles. We will get the results today and I will get more answers if that is the problem. His AFP also went up but very little 2.8 last week to 3.7 this week so im not concerned at all it is still considered normal. Other then the liver, Connor is doing great!!! Walking, and playing all the time. He is full of life and constantly doing things to make everyone else smile. Looking at Connor today you would have no idea that he was ever so sick. Thank you for all the support and prayers and I will update with cpk results and info when I can.