I have been having a pretty hard time lately and I'm not sure why. My last MRI (May 26th) was fantastic. My doctor was so excited. I just try to not get too high with the highs or too low with the lows.

I think that part of the problem I am having is now that I am a patient, I hear and see so many people who are being diagnosed with this awful disease. I pay more attention now because I have been affected. Why did I not realize all of the cancer around us until my life was directly affected? Am I that selfish?

In the past week I have learned of two people close to me whose dogs have been diagnosed with cancer and both animals do not have very much time. A friend's friend has been diagnosed with cancer. A friend could be having a major recurrence of her cancer. And one of my oldest friend's friend has just been diagnosed with cancer. I hear the word and I just want to throw up. It makes me sick to think of what these people and their families and friends will have to endure. I just want it all to go away.

I feel so detached...