Dear Family and Friends,
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For all of the moms out there who are spending their Mother's Day without their special, heroic, loving child, know that we are praying for all of you. We know the heaviness and sadness you feel in your hearts, and we are praying God will give us all peace and comfort today.
DEAR MR. HALLMARK --Author Unknown
I am writing to you from Heaven,
And though it must appear
A rather strange idea,
I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit
Your stores to find a card--
A card of love for my mother
As this day for her is hard.
There must be some mistake, I thought,
Every card you could imagine,
Except I could not find a card
From a child who lives in Heaven.
She is still a mother too,
No matter where I do reside.
I had to leave, she understands,
But, oh, the tears she's cried.
I thought that as I wrote you,
You would come to know
That though I live in Heaven now,
I still love my mother so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me,
We still share our laughter, too.
Memories are our way of speaking now--
Would you see what you could do?
My mother carries me in her heart,
Her tears they cloud her sight.
She writes poems to honor me,
Sometimes far into the night.
She plants flowers in my garden,
There my living memory dwells.
She writes to other grieving parents,
Trying to ease their pain as well.
So you see Mr. Hallmark,
Though I no longer live on earth,
I must find a way to remind her
Of her loving, wondrous worth.
She needs to be honored
And lovingly remembered too,
Just as all the mothers' children
Still living on earth will do.
Thank you, Mr. Hallmark,
I know you'll do your best.
I have done all I can do now,
So to you I'll leave the rest.
Please find a way to tell her
How much she means to me,
Until I can do it for myself
When she joins me in eternity.
We do feel sadness in our hearts that we can't get a HUGE hug and "Happy Mother's Day Mom." However, I SO cherish the 14 years we had with Christian even though the pain is so great now. He impacted our lives so immensely and we are forever blessed. I have said before, NOBODY will ever impact my life like Christian has. His many amazing character traits (ex. courage, faithfulness, respect, responsibility, humor, love, etc.) still amaze me given the extreme situation he was in. He has taught me so much.
Christian would always write funny things in the cards he was signing for someone. In my last Mother's Day card, he wrote me some poems. Knowing I won't get any more of them is heartbreaking, but makes me cherish the ones I have all the more. Reading these tugged at my heart but made me smile at his humor too. Here are a few of them that will give you a glimpse of his “boy” sense of humor:
1) "Roses are red, violets are blue,
I think that the dogs left a present for you."
2) "Some people are fat, some people are lean,
I love you WAAAAAY more than garbanzo beans (and a lot of other beans too)."
3) "Sunflowers are big, as bright as sun,
I like being your 'responsible' one." (he was VERY responsible)
4) "Roses are red, from the sky that is sunny,
I think you are sweeter than honey."
5)"Bananas are yellow, my boogers are green,
I think that you might be very keen."
So, many of you have been waiting for a report on how Christian's 15th birthday (Tuesday, 5/6/08) went. I spent several day prior very sad and shedding LOTS of tears. I couldn't get motivated to do anything either. I woke up on Christian's birthday sad and weepy, then told myself to get a grip and get my behind up to run. I ended up doing 13.2 miles and although my legs were tired, I felt great. I sometimes do 10 miles, but never 13 at one time. I did it for CB and he helped me get through it. Afterwards, Gary and I went to the party store to buy green balloons for CB. We picked up Garrett and Kendall after school and went to the cemetery. Our friends the Kempfs met us there and we all sang "Happy Birthday to Christian." We all wrote messages on the green balloons then released them. That part was VERY hard and emotional. Not being able to give my sweet son a BIG birthday hug and kiss was SO hard. I cried a lot! We each singed a mylar balloon and left them for him. When I got to Garrett's game a little later, I walked right up to our Mets dugout, as the game was about to begin. The entire team was wearing GREEN sleeves and socks (the other Mets team mom Terri bought them for the team which was SO sweet!) and some had 'CB' written on their arms. They began singing "Happy Birthday to Christian" then gave a loud "1, 2, 3 GO CB!!" They got in a huddle and yelled it at every inning. It was cool! The boys were SO pumped up to win the game for Christian's birthday!! Garrett's team dedicated the game to CB and won it 10-5! (They lost to them the previous game). The drive and energy those boys had touched my heart. There were also lots of green balloons there and a 20X30" picture of Christian smiling at all of us. Lots of people wore green too. Once we won the game, we all went out to the pitchers mound with the green balloons. We released them while wishing Christian a Happy Birthday. {Click here for pictures} Chris the Mets manager gave Christian the game ball that was signed by the team. Then we all had a big pizza party, with cupcakes and green food (green apples, gatorade, cookies, etc.). CB would have loved it! Thank you Terri and Angel for making a VERY hard day in our lives special. We really felt like we got to celebrate Christian's birthday with some great friends from our Rancho Niguel Little League family. I hope Christian felt everyone’s love for him from heaven. We SOOOO miss CB, but did get the chance to celebrate him on his 15th birthday and that felt good. I wish all of you could have been there to celebrate it with us.
I am still training for my 1/2 marathon. This week I have run/walked over 30 miles. Thank you to all who have already sponsored my half-marathon and those who plan on doing so. You are helping us find a much-needed cure for pediatric cancer! I GREATLY appreciate it more than you know. Raising money for the “Christian Barker Research Fund” means SO much to our family. I won’t be turning the checks in for over a month, so there’s still time to donate. The information is below.
Regarding the green "Fight Childhood Cancer For Christian" bracelets, we did not order them for a fundraiser. We ordered them to send to anyone who wants one and to say, "thanks for supporting Christian and our family." I would love to send one to those of you who are supporting my marathon, AND those who want to wear one to honor Christian. Please don't feel like you have to sponsor me in order to get one. Email me at barker-5@cox.net and give me your address and the size you want (Large-men, Medium-women/kids) and I will send you one.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
"AS A MOTHER COMFORTS HER CHILD, SO WILL I COMFORT YOU..." ~ Isaiah 66:13
God bless all of the special mothers of the world!
Love,
Sandy, Gary, ^Christian^, Garrett, and Kendall Barker
SANDY ’S HALF MARATHON DONATION INFO:
The donation is 100% tax deductible!! PLEASE make this one of your tax-deductible donations for 2008!! ALL of the funding will go to the LLS. The funds will go to the research grant for childhood cancers that we were able to choose with a cancer research specialist. She gave us insight on studies that were very promising but can't get funding. Please help support and honor Christian and the kids who fight or have fought cancer! Any amount!! It means SO much to us and we greatly appreciate your support!!
- Make the checks out to: LLS-OCIE (Leukemia Lymphoma Society-Orange County/Inland Empire). The funds just need to be earmarked for the "Christian Barker Fund" by writing "Christian Barker Fund" on the memo space so the funds will go to the rare childhood research grants we have chosen to support. Then please send your check to me and I will hand them all in to the LLS together.
- My address is: Sandy Barker, 27671 Rosebud Way, Laguna Niguel, California 92677
- This means SO much to me and I really take your support to heart. This honors Christian and so many cancer kids/families. Those with caringbridge sites, I would love it if you could post this information so we can raise more funds to fight this disease for our kids. Or others can just email it to friends who may want to support our efforts. I will do the training and running; I just need help raising the funds. If you look at my update from March 29th under the "DID YOU KNOW", it lists the sad support pediatric cancer receives which is 1) why we are SO far behind research and treatment compared to many other countries and 2) why many kids are dying. Christian and SO many other kids have died because there isn't a cure for their cancer. That stinks and needs to change! PLEASE HELP!! THANK YOU in advance for all of your help and support! We appreciate you! The verse I chose for my half marathon "motto" is one of Christian's favorites: "I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me" ~ Phil. 4:13
- At the funeral and Celebration of Life, we had a slide show of Christian. It runs around 20 minutes, and you may click here if you would like to see it. It is great and really gives you a glimpse of what Christian's life was like before and after he got sick.
- Here is Christian just after diagnosis (June 2006).
