I hope this finds you enjoying the dog days of summer.
We are doing typical things - going to the pool, bowling, summer movies, the kids did Y camp for a week, we made it to Kiawah for a few days, Vacation Bible Schools, Kindermusik registration, a day in Blowing Rock, and things around the house. I posted some new photos for you. Chris's flight schedule has not been too jam packed, but he is busy enough and he loves the new plane. He and Chandler have started football practice already too. Cameron finally lost a tooth and I've started my training schedule to run the Kiawah Island Half Marathon again in December.
The boys are really enjoying themselves and they have been a lot of fun this summer. We went shopping for school supplies (they each had their own buggy and took their own list) and I think they are excited about returning to ARS.
Summertime has given Chris and me more opportunities to have a number of reflective conversations about our experience. We are still in awe of the many people who showed their concern and the endless ways you supported us, and even more so the perfect timing of God's hand and the clarity of His voice in so many circumstances.
Chris had a checkup in the surgery clinic this week and Dr. Holmes signed off with us and said Chris does not need to see him anymore!!! This was Monday, August 4th - 10 months to the day from when Chris first fell ill.
Chris has fully recovered, bills have been paid, insurance claims are settled, his grafts have healed and wounds have closed, he's back to work, and although life is 'back to normal' we both have the mutual feeling that we will never be the same.
As I have allowed myself to breathe a little bit easier over the last few months, it has been harder to come down off of 'high alert' than I thought it would. I've pushed a lot of things aside. Sometimes my emotions catch me off guard and I am overwhelmed with vulnerability. I guess now it is safe to finally fall apart? :-)
I have my own version of flashbacks and 'post traumatic stress disorder' I guess. It really hit me last week when I took Chandler to Urgent Care for what we thought was a spider bite but was actually an abscess, the culture for which came back positive for community acquired M.R.S.A. http://pediatrics.about.com/od/childhoodinfections/a/staph_infection.htm
They drained it and put him on Bactrim and it healed very quickly, but there were many parallels that I wasn't ready to stomach.
I am not as strong as some of you give me credit for. The Holy Spirit carried me through those incredible days. I’ve said to several of you when we talk about it, it is like talking about a movie we played a part in, or a bad dream that lasted a long time.
Chris and I wonder how the boys will remember it all, how it will influence their walk with the Lord, their deeds, their careers. The whole experience continues to teach us lessons and bring us blessings. I think now, ten months out, and especially after Chris and I have delved deeper into our individual retrospectives, both mutually and personally, I see a theme to our journey. Of course, it is about God’s role in it all, and how we had to let Him help us. The theme of our journey would not be “Have Faith” as you might assume.
It would have to be: SURRENDER.
May you all find the Peace that passes all understanding in your times of deepest sorrow and your times of greatest joy and all the simple moments in between.
Love,
g
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