By Love, for love…

One of the books Carol wanted me to read while she was battling cancer and undergoing chemotherapy was a brief work by Jacques Phillipe entitled “Interior Freedom.”  The book’s main point is that no matter how difficult the trial or the suffering, nothing can take our interior freedom from us, and that “we gain possession of our interior freedom in exact proportion to our growth in faith, hope and love.”  It was about that time that I started signing off my CaringBridge updates with the closing “In faith, hope, and love…” 

This theme recurred in recent months throughout my Lenten and Easter reflections, especially as I watched Father Hudgins’ lectures on the Doctors of the Church, particularly Saint John of the Cross.   My last post here included a portion of John’s poem “One Dark Night,” that I found particularly meaningful in my prayer and meditation, as John describes how suffering and sacrifice help prepare us to receive God’s gifts of love, as we seek union with Him in the depths of our soul.

So I definitely felt Carol’s loving presence when the request came from one of our Seton friends to write a short letter for the upcoming Seton Gala about “love,” as I have experienced it at Seton School.  The letter would be included in a brief slide presentation about Seton School, built around the theme of “faith, hope, and love.”  It seemed much more than sheer coincidence…

Feeling inadequate to the task, I wanted to decline, but I took this as a gentle nudge from Carol as an opportunity to thank our Seton family for all of the support and love poured out to us during her illness and death (plus the fact that my friend was trying to convince me with so many overreaching sports analogies, I knew he had to be desperate…).  I decided that with the counsel of John of the Cross, I would give the letter a try.

The following is my small part of a truly memorable presentation on “faith, hope, and love,” at Seton School, an open letter to our Director, Anne Carroll, presented (recorded and read) to 350 friends and alumnae at the Gala Celebration on June 12th: 

Dear Mrs. Carroll,

As I write this, envisioning the festivities of our Seton family at the Waterford, I thank God for the love that is Seton.  It hardly seems possible that Carol and I arrived at SetonSchool 14 years ago.  Our journey to Seton was definitely a leap of faith, full of the hope that our family would grow and share in the love of God so evident to us there.  Our family has been abundantly blessed; and in recent months, Carol and I both experienced the full, amazingly rich depth of Seton’s love.

Faith, hope and love.  I taught those theological virtues to my 7th grade religion class upon arriving at Seton.  They say the best way to learn something is to teach it, and it was my hope, as a convert to Catholicism, that Seton would help teach me as well and deepen my knowledge of our faith. 

Like many of us attending Seton through the years I imagine, I was often more concerned initially about what I (or my family) was getting from Seton.  But there comes a time in each of our lives, perhaps at the birth of our first child, or in the final suffering of someone we dearly love, that we learn, or perhaps relearn, that life is not all about ourselves, but rather, how we love others.

As Paul said, “…faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”  Love is eternal.  Only love will not pass away.  At that critical moment in our life, encouraged by Divine grace, we begin to understand that it is in love…charity, in giving to others amidst the daily grind of trials and tribulations, and often in suffering, that we find God, who is Love, in the depths of our own soul.

Whenever I enter our Seton chapel I see that love in the pictures and lives of those remembered there:  Colonel P, Mighty Mike, Tom Vander Woude, and Carol.  Each was so different in temperament and in their gifts granted by God, but each showed us in such magnificent fashion their own “little way” to God in living for others.  Each has affected me profoundly.  Carol taught me about life, and love, as I walked daily with her as she bore without complaint the cross of her ravaging cancer.   I am still finding out about Carol’s many little acts of kindness done for others, many of which were completely unknown to me. 

I also experienced the abundance and depth of charity of the Seton community as you poured out your faith, hope, and love to us through emails, letters, visits, prayer chains, and many little ways beyond telling.  I still can feel Carol’s joy as she watched the “Happy Birthday” video from Seton just a few days before her death.

This is what we are made for:   We are created by Love, for love.  And it is in loving others we find God in ourselves.

As you look around the room as this letter is read, I hope you will realize the amazing gift that is Seton.  I hope you will see that God has given us to one another to help us along our journey to one day see Him face to face, and to celebrate together for all eternity.   “…Eye has not seen… (and we simply cannot imagine) ...all that God has prepared for those who love Him.”   May we walk this path to Him confidently, and joyously, together.

Seton has not only educated our minds, but more importantly has begun, with God, the education of our hearts.  Thank you, Dr. and Mrs. Carroll, for the love you have poured into Seton School, and in turn, help give to each of us.

Praised be Jesus Christ …

In faith, hope and love.

Steve Jones.

I hope this letter begins to convey our profound gratitude to our Seton family.  It could have been written, with only minor changes, for you, our CaringBridge community, for the abundance of love poured out to us during these past months, particularly through the Guestbook here.   I thank you, and ask that you continue your prayers, in this case for two wonderful ladies of our Seton community during their illnesses:  MaryAnn Hassan ( www.caringbridge.org/visit/maryannhassan ), and also Eileen Akers.  Please keep them in your prayers for God’s graces and healing.

Friends and acquaintances continually ask me “how are you doing?”  Guided by God’s gentle, loving touch (with the warm, loving support of my children and grandchildren), I seek to live fully each new day, but I still find that difficult to do without Carol.  I miss her smile.  I ache with her absence, but find comfort in her spiritual presence.  Throughout this period of prayerful reflection, God has granted me many consolations in learning from so many of you how Carol touched your lives both before, and after, her death.  I am confident that she has realized her most coveted desire, to see our Lord face to face and to remain with Him forever. 

For now we must be content to help each other find our own ways to join Carol, with our Lord.  I believe that St. John of the Cross gives us the shortest route as he reminds us, “Where there is no love, bring love, and you will find Love.”

In faith, hope, and together, in Love,

Steve.