This is what I am looking forward to doing when I heal from this last surgery!
We have passed another milestone.  Year 2 since the accident has come and gone.  We survived by God's grace.  It is only through Him that we make it every day.  Pain levels continue to be extremely high.
Terry had  his third and last procedure last Thurs.  He was feeling a little better and then had to push my wheelchair up an unexpected hill along with a couple of other difficult transfers and his pain came back.
I feel so bad to cause him pain.  I know God is sufficient but sometimes it just does not make sense.  There are a lot of you out there that can relate in different ways.  So many suffering people that I  never realized until we had our tragedy.  When things are going well you tend to just tune out the suffering of others.    I thought I was in tune but now realize I had no clue.
God is going to use this suffering to be glorified and to lift others up.  I can not wait for the day that I can really see Him using us to bring honor and glory to His name.  That is what keeps me going day after day in horrible pain.  He says in IPeter 5:6-7 to "Humble yourself under God's mighty hand so that he will lift you up in due time."
I often wonder what "Humble yourself" means. Does it mean if you don't  humble yourself He will do it for you?  I often feel more humiliated than humble.  I want to do this right so that when I get to the throne of God I can look back and not regret how I dealt with my pain. I want to be tough.  I saw the movie "The Last Samuri" recently.  It is not a Christian film so I do not suggest it for family veiwing because of the violence.  It is about strength and honor during battle.  Never give up even unto death.  I am such a wimp really.  I do not like pain and suffering.  Remember,  "I  like to  have fun."  But fun does not force you to dig deep.  It does not reveal who you are or what you are made of.  When thing get really hard or I just pinch my finger trying to wheel myself over to the sink, I think to myself, "be tough, be a samuri, be a warrior not a wimp.  Sometimes I gut it out and am strong when no one is watching and sometimes I just cry.  
May God find the warrior in you all and hold you when you need to cry.
Love,
Carmen