Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful, loving, heroic, Momma Lions out there! God Bless you all and grant you strength, love, wisdom and grace to continue to be the best Moms' you can be. Lord knows this world can use more loving, nurturing, tender hearted, devoted and courageous mothers!
We are home. The drive from Pittsburgh was tedious in rain and fog and slow from Valley Forge to the Expressway in bumper to bumper traffic..I earned my keep as we say and was the lucky (not) driver for that part. The good news was we all got home in one piece and my patience held up!
It did not seem that Thursday afternoon to possibly Wednesday of this week could be an eternity..but we are finding it is indeed. I suppose the rejection of two surgeons before who came on like " a house afire" has made us a bit gun shy that perhaps this one too will suddenly have some dark revelation seen only by her that will make her decide she will NOT do surgery. We are not verbally dwelling on this possibility but we are all acutely aware of the possibility, having been through it twice already. SIGH...that is very hard on the nerves...feel a bit like a yo yo...up... then down..then up...
We are all a bit emotionally raw. Our consult in some respects yielded more then expected. We've not looked further down this path in awhile...too busy taking care of the day. To listen to the surgeon discussing future surgical options and care was unsettling. I am still open to the idea that I may still just wake up from a bad nightmare and find in fact my Samantha girl is really just fine...this is a figment of my awful imagination. I expressed something to that effect to Allen yesterday who assured me none of this is in my head and no we cannot just make it all better by ceasing all of this and running away... a theme that haunts me at times. I often read others CB sites who remind mothers to go hug their children..sigh..sometimes it irritates me. Don't they realize I hug mine all the time, I need no reminders how frail this life is or how very precious my beloved children are.. Today, I will say it...go and IF YOU ARE SO INCREDIBLY LUCKY TO HAVE HEALTHY CHILDREN>>> Thank God for that blessing and go tell your children how much you love them! Forget the dumb, simple things and disappointments..you know the untidy bed room the failure to study harder, or the lack of help set the table.. forget the trivia that is so frivilous and thank the Lord above for the gift of your child/ren. IF you live in the world we live in with rare, medically complex and life threateningly ill children...go Thank God for considering you up to this job, pray He sends you the grace, wisdom and courage to do your job well and make sure you tell your children how thankful you are to be their mother. I found myself listing the things I am thankful for: my husband who is my partner through the fire, who prays with me, loves me, supports me and understands me so well and is such an incredible supportive father. My parents and family who love and support us on this journey through thick and thin, the physicians who blessedly understand so much and care so well, what a gift they have been, our dear nurse Peggy who has perservered and helped through so many ups and downs and is is loved by all of us, our dearest friends those who send emails or sign the guest book, or call and send endless prayers, the other mothers who I have been priviledged to know and who have become comrades in arms in this earthly battle , friends old and new who have remained ( so many fled!) who although I speak in techno jargon and more rapidly as I get stressed, lovingly, patiently and kindly listen and offer an empathetic ear and more prayers, those who selflessly lend a helping hand to get a kid to work or school or send a child over to play and distract. I thank God for all of you and hope you know how precious you are to us.
Happy Mother's Day to all of you. And the Most Special prayers for comfort and support for the most loving of Mom's we know whose children now dwell in heaven...on this day of all days may you feel comfort and solace and know you remain in my prayers.
God Bless you all and thank you all for your continued prayers.
Love,
LeeAnne
