Journal entry by Beth Vanderkin —
I'm always running high anxiety leading up to my annual checkup at Duke. You would think 6 years after my transplant I'd start to chill out a little. Nope. I was still a ball of stress yesterday.
One of my blood tests (LDH) has always been a very reliable indicator of my level of disease. So, thankfully, I do not have to do PET or CT scans anymore, but simply wait about 30 minutes for all my blood work to be processed at the lab. I use the word "simply" but it truly feels like the longest 30 minutes of my life as we wait for Dr. Lopez to deliver the news.
And praise Jesus, the news yesterday was "all your blood work looks great!" Great. It's great? I'm great? Yep. I'm great. Praise the Lord, He is great! Amen & amen.
Although I felt well physically and had no suspicion that something was amiss, I realize afterward, as I start to get a bit shaky & jittery that I was equally ready to respond, "okay, so what are my treatment options?" It takes awhile to come down and truly bask in the joy of the good news. And it's not just me. It's tough on Thomas, too. I'm so thankful we walk though it together and he continues to put up with all my crazy. He took yesterday off and we made a day of it - first trying to pass the time before the afternoon appointment, getting through my freak out mode and finally when I started to calm down we had a lovely dinner out.
I woke this morning thinking, I'm healthy! There's no cancer! I just get to live. I'm great. Instead of facing something tough, I'm doing regular things and I'm extremely grateful. Dr. Lopez told me I could begin to breathe easy now that I am 5 years out. That's so weird, but I'm gonna try to just live like a normal person.
So, normal great Beth is looking forward to the days ahead when Josiah & Gabe move to their apartment next month, Samuel goes off to college in August, we vacation again, I continue to work in real estate and whatever else God has in store for me during this next phase of life. As we all know, not everything is great all the time, but I truly believe if we choose to, we can always find something great to celebrate. Today I'm just celebrating being great!
Blessings & joy,
Beth
One of my blood tests (LDH) has always been a very reliable indicator of my level of disease. So, thankfully, I do not have to do PET or CT scans anymore, but simply wait about 30 minutes for all my blood work to be processed at the lab. I use the word "simply" but it truly feels like the longest 30 minutes of my life as we wait for Dr. Lopez to deliver the news.
And praise Jesus, the news yesterday was "all your blood work looks great!" Great. It's great? I'm great? Yep. I'm great. Praise the Lord, He is great! Amen & amen.
Although I felt well physically and had no suspicion that something was amiss, I realize afterward, as I start to get a bit shaky & jittery that I was equally ready to respond, "okay, so what are my treatment options?" It takes awhile to come down and truly bask in the joy of the good news. And it's not just me. It's tough on Thomas, too. I'm so thankful we walk though it together and he continues to put up with all my crazy. He took yesterday off and we made a day of it - first trying to pass the time before the afternoon appointment, getting through my freak out mode and finally when I started to calm down we had a lovely dinner out.
I woke this morning thinking, I'm healthy! There's no cancer! I just get to live. I'm great. Instead of facing something tough, I'm doing regular things and I'm extremely grateful. Dr. Lopez told me I could begin to breathe easy now that I am 5 years out. That's so weird, but I'm gonna try to just live like a normal person.
So, normal great Beth is looking forward to the days ahead when Josiah & Gabe move to their apartment next month, Samuel goes off to college in August, we vacation again, I continue to work in real estate and whatever else God has in store for me during this next phase of life. As we all know, not everything is great all the time, but I truly believe if we choose to, we can always find something great to celebrate. Today I'm just celebrating being great!
Blessings & joy,
Beth
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