It has been just over a year since we lost our sweet angel. On Saturday we had a memorial service for all those that have lost children through Noah's Children. What a place of suffering and peace. It just felt so good to be with so many that truly felt the pain of losing a child too soon. Some of the parents spoke about their loss and this also was so healing and painful. I just suffered for them and suffered for my own loss. When it was our turn to pay tribute, Aaron came up with me. I was so grateful for his strength. He never wants to talk about Bethany b/c his heart is always on his sleeve but he wanted to give me strength. He told me that he would come up and stand by me. Then he decided to say just a few words. So he said that Bethany was born on Nov. 1 and passed away on Feb. 13, 2008. Then he said that we both still really missed her. I don't even know if anyone still reads the updates on this but I am going to type what I said for me so I will have a journal of it.

Music is the most raw and unfiltered form of communication so I am going to sing a small portion of three different songs.

(This is the first verse of Tiny Hands from Kenneth Cope's My Servant Joseph)

another pair of tiny hands
to lay beneath the clay
slumbering little baby eyes
to wake another day
oh god of heav'n, come guard this bed
and let this angel sleep
'til earth is pure for tiny hands
and safe for tiny feet

(This is the first verse of For Good from the musical Wicked)

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

(this is from a church music book I have, the song is Come Unto Me)

Come unto me all ye heavy laden and I will give you rest and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me. For I am meek and lowly of heart. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

I was so exhausted when it was all over. I wanted to thank the other parents and talk to them but it took everything I had just to be there. I know there were so many prayers on our behalf that day and even angels that held me as I sang. One friend came to this intimate chapel and I really felt like she was the physical representation of all those that were helping to lift us.