So often I’ve thought about writing another update, but I’ve always had so much to say that I was never sure where to start. It’s hard to believe that it’s been two years since Zeke’s birth. In some ways it seems like such a long time ago. We feel restored and healthy as a family. However, in a few unguarded moments, it seems like a very short time ago that we buried our baby boy. Overall, I think I’m amazed that we could do as well as we we’ve done. I have no doubt that we can thank God for that. We certainly have a different perspective on life. I guess we’ve learned that if we can trust God with our child’s life, then we can trust Him with anything.

We’re planning on celebrating today. Instead of it being a day to dread, I want to make it a day that we always look forward to by celebrating who we are as a family and all that God has done for us. We’re going to take flowers to Zeke’s grave, stop at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant, then we’re headed out of town to spend time with Dave’s family. When we told Tori that we getting ready for Zeke’s birthday, she asked if she could have some of his birthday cake. We hadn’t considered a cake, but we decided to let her pick out some cupcakes that we could eat on the road (Dave had to talk her out of cupcakes with the pink frosting!).

Tori continues to be a social butterfly. She’ll be four in a couple of months and is already a great helper to me. I love her sweet spirit, and I can’t tell you how much joy I get from watching her with Jackson. She adores him and I think she is his favorite person. Jackson is 10 months old now and will soon be walking. He is one happy baby! I often think that God blessed us with such a happy baby so that we could simply enjoy having a baby. That said, I wish he would sleep through the night on a regular basis! He loves to cuddle though, and he has certainly helped me heal from the ache of empty arms.

Dave and I are doing well. We’ve both just gotten over being sick and it’s nice to feel good again. We’re at Fellowship Bible Church in Gardner now and are really enjoying the relationships we’re building there. I’m still very active in the Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group there and am enjoying it very much. We’ve also just started co-leading a life group there. Between church and family we’ve even been tossing around the idea of moving to Gardner. It would be a longer commute for Dave, but we find ourselves in Gardner quite a bit. Dave is still at Sprint. We’re actually waiting to officially hear today if he still has a job. I’m not worried about it. Yes, he could get laid off, but I don’t think it will happen. And if it does, we’ve learned to trust God at a deeper level. Besides, we don’t want to live with a spirit of fear.

I’ve been trying to finish up Zeke’s scrapbook in the last few weeks. Until recently, I hadn’t worked on it since Jackson’s birth. I’m at the point where I’m just ready to be done with it and have it behind me. Yet, going through it recently has been good for me. While it brought back a lot of hard memories, it also reminded me of so many of God’s blessings.

Jessica