…And the journey goes on. The “lazy days of summer” have been filled with sports camps, swimming, swim team, short trips to the mountains. In the midst of almost constant activity, I have had some time to reflect on this entire year. I missed so much of Emily, Daniel, and Matthew’s school year, but like so many of their past school years, I was so incredibly proud of each of their accomplishments. However, this year was not like any of the others. They, unfortunately, had to grow in ways that you hope no child has to grow. And they did. As I am filled with sadness for the year that Andy should have had and the one he had instead, I am so thankful for and proud of each of my children. Through the challenges of this year, they have discovered many of their gifts and grown so much. Mostly, I am so glad to see that they have grown in compassion, character, and kindness. Emily, Daniel, and Matthew will each take things they have learned from this experience and from Andy that they will use for the rest of their lives.
In our daily comings and goings, I continue to be so aware of God’s presence. All along my path, I am blessed by encounters with caring people who often share little bits of wisdom and grace. Like, when I posed the question to a friend why God wouldn’t have used His power to heal Andy to remain with us on earth so that all of the thousands who walked this journey with us would shout “Praise God!”. My friend suggested that it’s easy to praise God when things are good. It’s a whole, greater testimony to praise God when things are hard. The loss of Andy is hard---very hard. But my faith continues to tell me that Andy got the prize. He did all that God had for him to do and he did it with such incredible grace, courage, and strength. The rest of us are just supposed to keep seeking God. Keep seeking Love. Keep being Love until we have been pleasing to God enough to be invited home to get our prize.
Many people experience the loss of loved ones, including their children. We were blessed to have had six very intense months of wonderful closeness with Andy. We were blessed to have experienced holiness and grace in Andy’s last days. We were witnesses to how closely God can come to us if we only allow Him. Andy spoke out “God, Jesus, Holy Spirit” in his last days. His Uncle Steve remembered Andy reaching out his right hand from his hospital bed and saying “Come closer”. Andy was so close to God and completely at peace and totally in His presence, and I saw that! And now I get to tell people. My experience with Andy was inspirational and I am called to share it in the same way that Andy shared his dreams and experiences. I have been forever changed and I will never stop saying so!
As the summer winds down and a new school year approaches, I am thankfully reminded that life does go on. This experience has not only changed my children, but as I encounter lots of my children’s friends, I can tell that they have been changed as well. I think back to the many visits Andy had from his friends and what I saw in them was an outpouring of compassion. As I have posted previously, Andy seemed unaware of the changes in his physical appearance. In the same way, his friends never seemed “freaked out” by Andy’s bald head or huge, puffy face from the steroids. What they showed him was gentleness, kindness, and compassion and they made him laugh! I think they may have been in awe of Andy’s strength and good spirit. I know I was. And then, there was the incredible amount of support these kids gave to Emily, Daniel, and Matthew! There was a wonderful article in our local paper about how Emily’s soccer season was affected by Andy’s spirit (lincolntimesnews.com go to archives to find the June 16, 2008 article). Her coach and team rallied to support Emily and Andy. I have been so pleased to see pure, genuine love poured over all of us.
So, we prepare to start a new school year. New challenges. New experiences. New friends and teachers. Please don’t ever forget dogevol and melasurej and the story told by Andy of a God who loves each of us so much. Who knows how this experience will continue to be used to share love?
God Bless,
Eileen
