Hello everyone and Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful daddies out there. Things have been quite busy over here. Alexa’s birthday celebrations spanned through the month of May and even dipped into the month of June this year. I want to thank Rebecca, Ana, Keri, Angela, Patti, Maria, Suzanne and Mary for the gift certificate to Diva Darlings in Amityville. Lexi enjoyed a day of pampering at this amazing spa like party with her friends Kaleigh and Mia. I also want to thank Dawn, Alexis and Alana from Diva Darlings for making Alexa’s day so special. Anyone who is looking for a great ‘diva’ party, check out their website.

Alexa had her pre-school graduation yesterday. She looked like such a big girl up on stage. My favorite part was when she sang “The Friendship Song” and of course when she received her diploma wearing her cap and gown. I’ll be making a slide show of her pre-school year (eventually). I still have Give Kids the World and Sherrie’s B-day extravaganza to finish (on my summer to-do list). Alexa’s dance recital is next Sunday. I know I will be a babbling fool. I truly love all the girls in Lexi’s dance class and they all love each other! Her teachers, Miss Erica and Miss Maria, have helped to mold Lexi into the beautiful little ballerina she is and I couldn’t thank them enough. I have a feeling that dance is going to be one of the many things Alexa continues to enjoy over the years. I posted some of her dance pictures and put some more videos up on U-tube. She has two rehearsals this week and then the big show. She is so excited!

Yesterday, we brought Lex to the dentist. Randy, I will publicly apologize now for alerting the Facebook world before the CaringBridge world. It’s just that FB is so accessible. With that being said, for those of you that are still with us, Alexa needs a root canal. She developed an abscess from her cavity on her lower left side. I knew something was up and honestly, I knew this is exactly what it was. There was no surprise in the dentist office for me when my fears were confirmed. I remember when my friend Gina told me about ^Harrison’s^ ‘dental issues’. I believe he was 6 when he had his first root canal. All I remember thinking was how? At such a young age, how does a child need a root canal? Well, now I understand because at 5 years old, Alexa also needs one. Dr. Valentine prescribed an antibiotic for the next 8 days to help with the swelling. She will get the pulpotomy on Monday at 12:00. I have to proctor a final exam and it is killing me that I cannot be there. Tom will take off of work to be with Alexa. I will try my best to meet them at the dentist’s office. Alexa is excited about getting a local (I’m not sure if she will be so excited once she sees the needle). The whole thing is very scary to me, but given what she’s been through this is NOTHING. I tend to believe this is just another side effect caused by the chemo and radiation, although the doctor doesn’t think so. He says children Alexa’s age, even younger, get pulpotomies all the time. Tom and I think it was a result of eating whatever we could get in her 24/7 when she was going through treatment. I still have a vision of all the junk lined up on the counter, even though there were weeks Alexa ate nothing aside from the liquid nutrients she received through TPN. Not to mention, the Nystatin we used for all those months. When receiving chemo, you are not supposed to brush the teeth because the gums and teeth and supersensitive and prone to bleeding. It amazes me that Nystatin is called ‘mouth care’ when it is pure crystallized sugar that you literally rub over the teeth and gum area. How is that helpful? While it helps to (hopefully) prevent mouth sores (which can lead to an infection throughout the body- that is the worst), it takes the enamel off of your teeth. We are meticulous about brushing Alexa’s teeth and using mouth rinse, yet the plaque build up is well, continuing to build up. I get angry because although we do everything right, this crap seems to be unavoidable and it is one more reminder that ‘Cancer was here’ and I just want to go to the wall and deface it! Ah, I digress, so yeah, pulpotomy tomorrow, just in time for dance rehearsal on Tuesday.

As many of you may have guessed, today I am here to wish a Happy Father’s Day to all the special daddies out there. I have to give a special ‘shout out’ to my daddy who helped make me the woman I am today. He was pretty much a single dad since I lost my mom at such a young age. While my sister and brother were older, he still managed to take care of the house, along with two sick in-laws that lived with us while working like a dog to provide for our family. I have the utmost respect for him and I love him with all my heart. Thank you, daddy, for always being here for all of us. I/We love you! Also, a special Happy Father’s Day to my father-in-law, Alexa’s Poppy, my brothers Freddie and Lawrence and all the special men in our lives. We love you guys! Now, for the most special daddy in the world, my life partner and Alexa’s special dada, I know how you feel about me publicly announcing my feelings (;0), but I want the world to know how blessed I feel to have chosen the best daddy in the world for our baby. Watching you with Alexa brings tears of joy to my eyes and a smile to my heart. You are so loving and attentive. You share so many special times with Alexa-like Saturday Bowling, Friendly Sundays, Go-Carts (I cannot believe what an excellent driver Alexa is thanks to your guidance and teaching-that was SO impressive), Backyard Soccer, Hand Monster, Silly Dances, Special stories and all the other fun things you guys do together. If that smile and wrap around hug you receive daily when you get home isn’t enough to tell you how you mean the world to our daughter, well, there I just told you again. She, we, love you with all of our heart and we hope today is an extra special day as every day is Father’s Day when we celebrate you! I am so proud of Tom and his training/fundraising efforts for Fred’s Team. He is running in Alexa’s honor, along with two very special friends we gained (I don’t want to say lost because they will never be lost), ^Madisyn^ and ^Harrison^. He has raised $4,615 already! The race isn’t until November, so you still have plenty of time to donate and to share the link below. NO amount is too small. Just think if everyone donated a dollar-how awesome would that be? One person tells another and another and well, you get the drill. All the money goes to the Aubrey fund, which is directly given to pediatric cancer research at Sloan-not to mention the awareness (which is SO lacking). I wish I could go to DC this week with my PAC2 and CB buddies. Good luck to all of you lobbying this week and great work! Tom and Alexa were featured in Fred’s Team’s newsletter this past week. A special person contacted him over at Fred’s Team, Jessica, about sharing his story (Thanks again, Jessica). I know he was very humbled and we are all so proud of his efforts. If you haven’t checked out the page below, please do so just to read Tom’s blog (make sure you scroll down-he's written quite a bit already). He is an excellent writer and has made it a tradition to thank one person daily. You may even see your name there as so many of you have been with us from day one. He also writes about all of his training. Yesterday he ran another 5K with our friend Shannon and her friend Jen. It was a local race in Sayville that supported a young boy with cancer. Shannon finished in 39 minutes-not bad for her first 5K ever! GREAT JOB, Shan! We are so proud of you! Jen finished shortly thereafter at 42 minutes-awesome! Tom accomplished his goal of beating his 5K from two weeks ago-crossing the finish line at 27 minutes! I could not be more proud of my awesome husband and although he will turn as red as an apple when he reads this next statement-he LOOKS amazing! I cannot believe how he has transformed his body. I also cannot believe how I transformed mine (help, somebody take away some of my EXTRA pieces-LOL). Seriously, amazing is all I have to say-my husband is a hottie-LOL! Here is the link-PLEASE check it out and thank you to everyone that has visited and donated. You guys rock!

https://fredsteam.mskcc.org/fundraising/Controller?action=userHome&user_id=40059&event_id=128

I wanted to include an entry that I wrote on Father’s Day two years ago here on Caring Bridge. I cannot believe I have been writing here for two years now and that some of you are still actually reading. I am pasting the entry below and sharing a poem/story that was written the year before in 2006 before Cancer ever entered our lives. Tom, although we annoy each other at times, (just keeping it real, honey- :0), I love you with all my heart. Here’s to ‘Our Beautiful Life’. I Love you forever!

• Last June, while Lexi took a nap, I was flipping through the channels when I came across this movie. The movie starred Michael Keaton and Nicole Kidman. Despite my lack of interest in the cast, I was immediately intrigued by the movie because it was about life, family, strength, love & putting things into perspective. I believe the real reason I kept it on was because the main character was diagnosed with Cancer and I had just had my surgery at Sloan a few weeks prior. He had been a big shot who made lots of cash, drove a fancy car & owned a beautiful house. He decides to “chronicle” his life (coincidence) when he finds out that he and his wife are pregnant. He soon finds that his priorities are completely screwed up. He’s been horrible to everyone around him, he’s lost all correspondence with his family and he really isn’t respected by anyone. Basically, he has no friends because he’s a pretty tough guy to tolerate. Anyway, enough with the movie synopsis. I sat and cried while watching this movie. When I say cry, I mean snot, dribble, drool-the whole bit! I ran to my pink fuzzy journal and began writing…I was inspired. I thought about Alexa, Tom, our family and how “beautiful” it was (and is). The title of the movie was My Life. The title of my poem is “Our Beautiful Life”. I typed it up and put a mat around it with pictures of our beautiful family from the day Lexi was born up until Father’s day of last year. I gave Tom this framed gift, along with the DVD of the movie.. I would like to share the poem I wrote on this post since tomorrow is Father’s Day.

“Our Beautiful Life”

“Our Life” is beautiful-wouldn’t you agree?

It took Alexa coming into this world for us to finally see-

See, beauty in our world from morning till night-

To savor every moment-never give in without a fight.

Our daughter is amazing-

The love she possesses is way beyond her two years-

One look at her smiling face can erase all of our fears.

The relationship we’ve formed with her can’t be bought with money-

It’s as genuine as a perfect diamond & just as sweet as honey.

I am proud to be Lexi’s mom and just as proud to be your wife-

I hope to be together in love for the rest of Alexa’s life!

Alexa is daddy’s little girl, she loves you beyond compare-

Each moment you spend together is another memory you’ll forever share.

When all is wrong with the world &you feel barely able to cope-

Think about “Our Beautiful Life” & fill your heart with HOPE. –LINE 15

I think you’ll look around & certainly agree-

That life couldn’t be any sweeter with Lexi, you & me.

She is the reason we strive for perfection-

Her smiles, hugs & kisses are the best form of affection.

Let’s watch My Life together, LIVE, LEARN & LOVE-

One day we’ll be watching down on our children from heaven up above.

So, remember, “Our Life is Beautiful” from finish to start-

It is truly believable when it is felt within your heart.

Believe I love you & respect you for you are a great husband, father, brother, uncle, friend & son-

These six things are only part of the reason Alexa has become-

A truly lovely child with a heart made up of gold-

This she will carry with her until she’s gray and old.

Be proud of who you are, be thankful of all you possess-

When you strive for the best, one can’t expect anything less.

I thought this was poignant as I looked over to the wall & saw this poem hanging up in our office. Our perspective has always been clear and we have always put Alexa first. I still don’t know why this is happening or how we will get through it, but in the end everything I wrote one year ago will come true. There is no other way because line 15 says it all. I never thought we’d be facing something like this one year ago while watching that movie, but we are here now and we have to have HOPE & continue to LIVE, LEARN & LOVE. Happy Father’s Day to the best father I know! Your gift this year is the continued love of our beautiful family…Family sandwich hugs forever & ever, baby! Love always, Your Puppy Dog-Debb