History

Journal History

Friday, January 2, 2009 8:36 AM CST

Hello Friends and Family!

First Neena wants to make sure everyone knows that it is I, Terry, writing this. This way any grammar, spelling or punctuation mistakes will only reflect her bad judgment in husbands not her lack of education.

Today is New Years day, and we are spending it just as we have the last 27 years- together. Only this year we are in Baltimore, Maryland. The hospital is a very nice one. In every hallway you walk down there are framed magazine cover stories about John Hopkins. I have to tell you, I feel pretty lonely walking from the parking garage to the hospital without my gun. This is not the best part of Baltimore. But enough about me.

Neena is doing very good, all things considered. We had heard a lot of bad things about this treatment. Neena has had problems with all of them but not to the extent that she feared. She is having headaches, chills, hot flashes, nausea, skin flush and other stuff, too; however, like Taylor the power of the priesthood has lessened the side effects and helped her not to suffer as mush as most. She has been struggling with low blood pressure after every treatment. So far she has only been able to receive every other treatment. The doctors say that is very common. The average is to receive around 7-9 treatments out of the 14 that are planned. I would like to see her get more though. Since the trouble with the low BP she has been hooked up to a heart and BP monitor. This means that she is unable to get out of bed to go across the room to the bathroom. They are afraid that she may faint and fall with the low BP. This means that I have to help her with all of her hygiene needs. The honeymoon is over after all these years. The up side is I gave her a sponge bath today. Also, since she can’t use the bathroom in her room they told me I could use it. No more walking way down the hall for me any more. Last night she missed her 10pm treatment. That means that we both received a pretty good night’s sleep. By 6am this morning she was ready for her dose. After that she started feeling nauseous again. See had the dry heaves a few times this after noon and the aches and pains of her joints. Her BP was too low for the 2pm dose but looks good enough for the 10pm dose. She is liking the every other dose. It gives her time to feel better before the next one starts. I just want her to get as many as she can so that her odds of getting better are in our favor. Well she needs me again so I need to finish up here. The food is crap, and I’m to cheap to go to the cafeteria so we both are not eating very much. Also, because of the headaches we keep the lights off and the shades drawn so I feel like I’m becoming a vampire always in the dark. The nurses use flashlights when they come in the room. After Neena reads this tomorrow she may not let me do any more, so goodbye for now. Please keep her in your prayers.

LOVE TERRY

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 5:42 PM CST

Hello all. Neena checked in to the 5th floor yesterday. She received her central line, and all went well with that procedure. She got her first dose of Interleukin at 10:00 P.M. The first treatment caused her blood pressure to drop quite a bit. Because it dropped so low, she had a pretty rough night. They gave her a lot of fluids to control her blood pressure, but it wasn't enough to have her ready for her next dose of Interleukin at 6:00 A.M.; however, she was ready to receive the next dose at 2:00 P.M. Her blood pressure didn't appear to be effected by the second dose of Interleukin, so far. Although her blood pressure is okay, her joints are aching, she's extremely tired and she really wants to be home. Please remember to keep her in your prayers.

Thursday, December 4, 2008 4:38 PM CST

Hello again! Been a while since I last updated. Life has been pretty busy for me. However, I could not go without adding something with Taylor's Birthday coming up tomorrow. She would have been 12 years old. Hard to believe all this started when she was 4. And even worse that her life ended when she was only 6. I miss her every single day. I can honestly say that there has not been a day that I have not thought of Taylor numerous times each day. She was my one and only sweet little girl. It is still hard to believe to this day all that she had to go through and deal with in her little short life. I just wanted to say "Happy Birthday" to her. I am sure she is very happy where she is now and she will be celebrating herself. I just wish I could celebrate with her. Her last birthday that she was with us, she ended up in ICU. Not exactly the way a birthday for a 6 year old should have been spent. I just want everyone to know how much I love her and miss her. On another note my health continues to have problems after problems. I know last time I updated I was in the middle of radiation for my melanoma. Well, unfortunately I have another occurence of the disease. Once again it was first noticed in my left groin again. That is where it has been everytime. However, after another PET scan after removing the melanoma they found a very small part of the disease in my left lung. I am now getting ready to begin a very hard regiment of drugs to prepare me for a clinical trial at the National Cancer Institute in Bethesda, Maryland. I will spend about a week in the hospital here. After that I will have some time to get my strength back before heading to Bethesda. There I will receive two chemo's for a week then they will put some cells of mine that they grew in the lab and give me some more drugs to help boost my immune system to hopefully finally fight off any remaining cancer cells. I will spend a couple of weeks or more in the hospital there. I can not believe my family is having to go through something like this again, but what can you do. I guess we can just continue to pray like we have always done before. I would appreciate any prayers in my be-half during this period. I will try to update sooner and let you know how things go for me. Who know I might be spending Taylor's next birthday by her side if a miracle does not soon happen for me. I do not want my family to have to deal with another death. They have been through enough in the last 5 years. A sister, grandmother and now their mom facing the same thing. It does make you wonder sometimes how things really work. However, I do still have the faith and know that if it is our Father's will I can have the miracle we so desired for Taylor and my Mom. Please leave a note if you can and thanks for all the support in the past. Once again your prayers would be greatly appreciated. Now before I close I just would like to once again say Happy Birthday to my little angel and let her know that I will be sending some purple ballons her way tomorrow. I miss her so much. I will try to update soon. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, September 13, 2008 2:42 PM CDT

Hello again! Just wanted to let everyone know how much we are missing Taylor today. Tomorrow will be her 5th anniversary of leaving this earth. I do truly know she is in a better place and very happy. However, that does not stop the heartache I feel this day wishing she was here with our family. I loved and still love that sweet little girl more than one can imagine. She is my true inspiration in this life to be a better person. I know she is looking out for me while I am going through my tough times fighting my cancer just as I did for her. However, I could never be as brave as she was when she was sick. Please take a moment to remember her tomorrow as her family still is missing her so much. She is truly my angel. Love, Taylor Angel' Mom Neena

Monday, September 1, 2008 6:25 PM CDT

Hello. I guess it has been a long time since I wrote anything. I lost my password and then my account on AOL so I have just now been able to get the information I needed. I just happens to be my birthday today also. I was just looking through the bag of things Taylor had gotten me for my last birthday with her. It was full of things me and her use to love to do together. She had gotten us all kinds of crafts to do together, but we never got the chance. I will always cherish that bag of gifts from her as long as I live. I miss her so very much. I do not know if people realize it, but it will be 5 years the 14th of this month since she passed away. It is still so hard to believe she is gone after these long 5 years. I really do miss her more than words could ever describe. Well, I also wanted to update you on my progress with my cancer. I guess I had told you that I was diagnosed with melonama cancer back in March 0f 07. I went through a couple of surgeries to remove lymph nodes from my groin area where it had seemed to settle. After a hard year of a medication/chemo called Interferion, which ended in the middle of May 08, I unfortunately found another lump in the same area and 3 months after treatment I was once again diagnosed with melonama in my left groin area again. It was removed this past July and it was within the scar tissue which was good news. However, now I have to begin radiation in another week to hopefully help with another reaccurance. I guess that was a lot of info at one time. I just wanted whoever reads this to know that Taylor's family is still out here and still missing her everyday. Plus I continue to fight this cancer of my own which I hope I can beat this time around. Thank you to whoever my still look at this website and remembers my little angel. She is my inspiration and always will be. I truly miss her more than you can imagine. Once again I will take any prayers in my behalf to help me beat this cancer. I will update again soon and not wait so long next time. Love, Angel Taylors, Mom

Tuesday, December 4, 2007 5:11 PM CST

Well,tomorrow will be another birthday without my little angel. She would have been 11 years old tomorrow. That is really hard to believe. I wish she was here so much. I can still remember her last birthday spent here. We had it in September because she was so sick the past year. I am so thankful that we took that opportunity on Septemeber 2, 2003 to celebrate with her because she died only 12 short days after that. Taylor will always be in my heart and a part of me no matter how much time passes by. The loss never goes away. I am thankful it does not. I would never want to stop thinking about her everyday. She taught me so much and was truly an angel on this earth. I just want to say to her "Happy Birthday" and that I love you more than life itself. I hope you get to celebrate your birthday however you want too. Just a quick update on me. I am still receiving treatments for the cancer (melanoma) and will continue to until May. So far all has gone pretty well. My hair is getting thinner and I do not care for that, but how could I complain. I have a great example that taught me how to deal with this trial and I hope I can handle it with as much grace and patience as Taylor did. Thank you again for the e-mails and please keep in touch. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Friday, September 14, 2007 10:22 AM CDT

Well, here it is again, another anniversary of our little Angel's death. It seems like forever since I held her in my arms, but yet sometimes it seems like yesterday. About 15 minutes ago and 4 years I was holding her in my arms as she took her last breath. She tried with all her might not to leave us, but the cancer had finally won the battle. I was not thankful that the cancer had won the battle, but I was so thankful to see the suffering end for her. I miss Taylor with all my heart. She was a great joy in my life. Both through sickness and health. As I now fight my own battle with cancer I can see were she has helped me to be stronger and try harder at beating my own. She was and will be my inspiration forever. I miss her more than one could ever imagine, except another poor mother that has lost a child of their own. I was watching a TV show the other night and someone told a lady they knew her heart was broke watching her grandson get caught up in gangs. Her reply was "Sir my heart was broken 20 years ago when my little child died and I do not expect anything to ever put it back together again." Then she replied do not ever tell me about a broken heart. I believe she hit it right on the nail. I love my other children just like Taylor. It just so happens she is the one gone and I can't help missing her so much. Today we will go to the graveyard and let off 4 purple ballons in her memory. I will usually stand there and watch them until you can no longer see them. Then I know they have reached her and I can feel her joy. Please continue to update and remember our family in your prayers as we fight yet another battle with cancer and as we continue to miss our little Angel so much. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom

Monday, June 25, 2007 1:42 PM CDT

Hello! Just wanted to update and let you know that things were going well. Jonathan is home and that is a great plus. He has been a little lost not having much to do, but is glad to be home with his family. Tyler graduated a week ago and that was nice too. Although, it is hard for me to believe that I have no more children in school. I always wonder how Taylor would have done in school. She was eager to learn with the teachers at the hospital and stuff, but I do not know how she would have done in a school setting. She was so use to having her family around her all the time. I sure do miss her and wish I had been given the opportunity to find out. However, I guess it was not meant to be and I will just have to accept that. Far as my cancer goes, I can only assume it is not present at this time. The chemo is tough and tires me out greatly. The first 4 weeks were tough when I had to have high dose interferon by IV. That was also done for 5 days a week. Now I get shots and only 3 a week at half the dose. That is better but it still wears me down. I am trying to be positive and take things as they come. I still have 10 and a half months of this treatment so I am going to have to stick it out. I appreciate all of you who still check in on us. I just ask that you pray that our family will pull through this one. I do not want to leave my family just yet. I need to see them get married and have me some grandchildren. Well, thanks for caring and thanks for the comments they mean a lot to me. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Thursday, May 10, 2007 12:17 AM CDT

Just a quick update to let you know what is going on. I am recoverying from the surgery I had fairly well. It has been a little over three weeks now and things are better. However, I still have a drain tube in. However, that should be coming out tomorrow. I will be starting the drug Interferon on Monday. It is suppose to be a very tough treatment. I just hope and pray that I will be tough like my little girl and be able to make it through the treatments. You begin getting the medication at a double dose for 5 days a week for 4 weeks. Then the dose is cut in half and I will receive that by shot for 48 more weeks. The medication causes a lot of side effects. Flu-like symptoms, fatique, and depression. I am very nervous about starting with this treatment, but I know that I have no choice. I could not let my family down by just giving up. I just hope and pray that I a can be strong like Taylor and my Mom and face these treatments and not give up. I just ask for your prayers once again for me and my family. I really can not believe that any of this is happening. I just can not believe we are having to fight another battle against cancer in our family so soon. Please once again pray that I will be able to tolerate this medication and beat this cancer. Thank you for all of your support and I will try to update the best I can. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Friday, April 20, 2007 2:05 PM CDT

I am not exactly sure how to start this journal entry. I guess I should start by introducing myself. My name is Janice Taylor, and I'm Neena's neice. She's sitting beside me while I type this little message to you all, as she's too weak to do it herself.

Terry felt a bump at the top of Neena's leg a few weeks ago, and she went to the doctor's office to have it checked out. The doctor felt comfortable to have her take antibiotics for it, as he thought it was most likely a benign lymphnode. But the swelling didn't go down. Neena went back to the doctors, and they then biopsied it.

They went in for the results, and the minute the doctor told her that it wasn't lymphoma, Neena said "It's melanoma." She said she couldn't believe she didn't think of it before that moment, but the instant that he said it wasn't lymphoma, she knew exactly what it was. So.. the Hancock family is got another long battle ahead.

Neena had surgery on Monday during which they removed all of the lymph nodes in her inguinal region. She's got about 20 staples in her leg... but the results of the surgery came back and only one of the other lymph nodes had melanoma in it. The main issue is that they don't know the primary (initiative source) of the cancer.

She'll soon be starting Interforin. It's a chemo/shot she'll take every few days at home, and she'll have to take it for the next year. They say it makes you feel very ill... all of the time. But we all hope that it will be the cure and miracle Neena now needs in her life.

Jonathan will be home soon, about a month and a half from now. So hopefully that will be a major encouragement to her. But for now, please keep Neena and her family in your prayers as they face the tough road ahead.

Friday, April 20, 2007 2:05 PM CDT

Wednesday, February 14, 2007 3:36 PM CST

Just wanted to wish everyone out there a Happy Valentines Day. I know it has been a while since my last up date. Truth is not a lot has changed in my life one way or the other so not much to tell. I have also had my arm in a cast which makes it difficult to type much. I had some surgery done for arthiritis (guessing that is the way you spell that one) on my thumb area, therefore I am having to wear a half arm cast. It is really annoying. They have my thumb completely out of use and that makes it hard to use your hand. That has keep me from being able to accomplish much of anything lately. Also, we all now this week have seemed lucky enough to get the stomach virus that has been going around. I guess that is just the way it goes sometimes. Of course, when it comes to Taylor I always feel so guilty to complain about being sick at all after all she went through. It really makes me feel bad to think that she had to feel so bad so many days of her little short life. However, the thing was that she was a true trooper and she never really complained too much no matter how bad it got. She was a real fighter. I miss her so much that I can not begin to explain it. I think of her all the time. It's just that it seems so long ago since we were together and that really hurts alot. I hate the time growing so far away from the time we were last together, but on the other hand I guess that just means I am a day closer to being with her again. I still long for that day. However, on the other hand Jonathan will now be home after 2 years in the Philippines in less than 4 months and that will be great. It will be so great to have one of my children back in the house again. It probably will not be for long, but he will be back and that is what counts. Everyone else in the family is doind fine. I guess I had told you that Terry had the weight loss surgery and he has lost a total of like 80 pounds now. He is looking like a different person. Actually, he is looking quite good these days and feels a lot better. Well I guess I will close for now. Forgive the mistakes I am trying to type with a cast on. Keep in touch and thanks so much for still caring about our family. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Friday, December 29, 2006 3:28 PM CST

Well, I guess it is about time to ring in another year. For me it just means another year without Taylor in it. However, we do have a bright spot coming in the year 2007. Jonathan will be home in approximately 5 months after serving in the Philippines on a church mission since June 2005. The reunion will be great. We have really missed him at home. I am sure he has grown up alot and most of all grown spirtually while serving the Lord daily for almost two years now. It will be nice to add someone back into our household. I just wish we could have the same reunion with Taylor. However, that is a reunion I will still have to continue to wait for. It will happen when the Lord decides it is right. The joy that day will bring seems uncomprehendible. I guess I will just have to continue to live a life worthy of such day. As far as our family goes we are all doing good and continue to try to live each day the best we can. I hope everyone has a Happy New Year and keep in touch when you can. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Wednesday, November 22, 2006 12:26 AM CST

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Taylor
Today December 5th she would have been 10 years old. Hard to believe.

Hello! I guess it has really been a while since my last update. Partly because there has not been much to tell. Life goes on and we still struggle daily with the loss of our sweet little girl. I know it must seem to some that the pain of the loss gets better as you go, but it really does not. I guess what makes it easier is the fact you just become accustomed to your new way of life and have to deal with it. You just live with the pain and continue to make the best of each day. Now that Taylor's birthday (she would have been 10) is right around the corner and we are about to approach the holiday season, I expect things to be little more difficult. Without her and my Mom not being here it makes the holidays more of a gloomy time and I just wish for them to pass by quickly. Of course, the loss of my Mom makes this time especially difficult because I spent every Chirstmas of my life with here except the pass two. She was very festive and enjoyed cooking and decorating for the holidays. Mostly of course for her family to enjoy. I will say we all still get together for the holidays, but the empty space my Mom and Taylor left behind make the time very difficult for me. However, the bottom line is that I know my Mom and Taylor are in a better place and anticipate our reunion someday just as I do. I know without a doubt they live in a wonderful place and are very happy. For that I am thankful. I am so thankful that I have always been taught that family are forever. That will be the very thing that will continue to help me live my life and be the best person I can be. Once again I just would like to think each of you for taking time to check on us. It still means everything to me. It helps me see that Taylor is still remember by so many people. I hope you all have a wonderful Holiday Season!! Love, Angel Taylor's Mom

Sunday, September 24, 2006 2:00 PM CDT

You’re always in my heart,
Always on my mind,
No matter how deep the water,
You, I always find.
My memories are darkening
You’re getting more unclear,
I’ve fallen into a tunnel,
But I am not to fear.
Very soon we’ll be as one,
Together as we once had been,
Filling our memory boxes,
For eternity as best friends.

Just a poem my mom had given me the Chirstmas before she passed away. Of course she gave it to me thinking of Taylor and myself. This has been a hard month with the 3rd anniversary of Taylor's passing and the 2nd of my Mom to come on the 30th of this month. I miss them both more than I could ever express to anyone. I constantly have them on my mind and long for the day to be with them again. However, I know that my time here on this earth is not finished yet and I have a family to continue to care for until that wonderful day comes. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Sunday, July 30, 2006 8:23 PM CDT

Just a quick note tonight to let you know that I am still here. I guess I have not updated lately because there really has not been anything new in my life to talk about. Not much has happened this summer. It has been pretty quite. I will have to say the summer has been filled with all kinds of memories of Taylor and my Mom. I really have been missing them a bunch. Every day it seems that something reminds me of them. Not that I am suprised. It is just I never know if it is going to be a good memory or a sad memory. They are all hard to deal with, but the sad times are real hard to deal with. I get caught up in thinking about all that they both suffered through and it really makes my heart break. This past Friday would have been my Mom's 72nd birthday. Then here in another month it will be the anniversary dates for both of their deaths. It is hard to believe that it will be 3 years since Taylor left this world. I miss her so very much. I think of her all the time. I miss her, I miss thinking of what we would be doing together now, I just miss all of it. I know that someday I will be blessed to be with her again, but for now my heart aches for the day we will be reunited. Well, I guess you can figure out that I really still miss Taylor. She was my little sunshine. Please keep checking up on me and I will do better in updating next time. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Monday, June 5, 2006 6:37 PM CDT

Hello, once again it has been a while since my last update. I like to update once a month, but sometimes I get off track. Nothing much new to report. I have started voluntering at a rest home. My aunt also comes with me. We only work on Monday. I work in the gift shop and help with a game in the afternoon. I really enjoy it and the old people really enjoy us coming. I think it helps me alot because I feel like I am being useful again and helping others. That is much better than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Not a lot of good or fun comes from that. Only a lonely heart. I know that I need to make the best of my life now and I feel helping these older people is a positive thing to be doing. Alot of people wanted to know why I did not go to CHKD (the children's hospital Taylor was at) but I feel that would have been to hard for me. I think I made the right choice. For the rest of my family, they are doing good. Jonathan has been gone for a year. He already has his date to return home. He will be here on June 7, 2007. I can hardly wait. It will be so nice for him to be home again. Although, Tyler will leave a year after Jonathan gets home. I guess that is the way it goes as your kids start to grow up. I guess that is about it for now. I just wanted to thank all of you who still come to this website and take the time to continue checking on our family. Please sign the guestbook now and then. I still love to hear from you. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Thursday, May 4, 2006 1:14 PM CDT

I guess you thought I wasn't going to update anymore. I just have been busy. I say that, but the truth is I am busy doing nothing. The lazy factor sets in and it seems that you do not do anything. I just have had a couple of not so great months. I am trying to be more postive and get my act together. I am generally not a lazy person. I do not like sitting around, it makes me crazy. So I am going to get busy doing something. I did start volunteering at a Rest Home. Me and my Aunt go together and work in the Gift Shop. We also help the residents play games sometimes. Right now it is only on Mondays. We may add another day if they need us too. That does help keep me busy and I enjoyed it. It felt good to be helping someone. My Aunt wanted to go to CHKD (Taylor's hospital), I told her that would be more than I could handle. For now I will stick with helping old people. I have no desire to see children suffering in any kind of way. Also, I have no desire to step in that hospital ever again. I had two children die there and that is enough of that place for me. I do have something coming up for Mother's Day. I guess most of you might know that my son is serving a mission in the Philippines. Well, on Mother's Day I get to receive a phone call from him. We only get to talk twice a year. We do get to e-mail weekly, but talking to each other will be great. His mission was for two years and May 1st marked his first year out. It will not be long now and he will be coming home. That will be great. The house is so quite with Taylor gone and with him being gone it has made it even worst. I do not like all the quite time I have. I hope everyone is doing good and I think you for still supporting and caring for our family. I will update again soon and please e-mail now and then. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Wednesday, March 29, 2006 11:57 AM CST

Just wanted to update again and let you know how we are doing. To tell the truth there is not anything new to report around here. Life has been pretty boring lately. School is really slow. I have not figured out what I am going to do next semester. I enjoy going to school, but do not really have any idea where I am going with it. Although, it is one of the only things that keeps my mind occupied and that is important. I have had way to much time to feel sorry for myself the past few months. I am always wondering "what-if" and that drives me crazy. I just can't help but always wonder how life would be with Taylor still in it. I know it would be wonderful. I miss her so very much. We were so close and she was my best friend in the whole world. I know she would have always been my best friend through my whole life if she had lived. I really do hate went I start thinking about what could have been. I just need to dwell on living a good life so that I can be reunited with her when my time comes. I know that will be a wonderful day. Now to change the subject, let me tell you about the rest of the family. The boys are all doing well. Jonathan is doing well in the Philippines and is really enjoying his mission. It is hard to believe on the lst he will be gone for a total of 10 months. Layne is doing good with his real estate. He just sold a house yesterday. Tyler is busy playing tennis and enjoying himself. Me and Terry are doing fine, but we both miss our little girl tremendously. Not much else to report right now. I just thank each one of you who continue to check on us and keep up with our family. It means so much to me. Please leave an e-mail on occassion if you get the time. I still enjoy receiving them. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Saturday, February 25, 2006 10:35 AM CST

Hello! I just wanted to update again and let you know how things are going for us. Not a lot has changed really. Over the past month I have been basically bored to death. This one class I am taking is just not enough to keep my mind busy. I knew I should have taken two, but I guess all of the anantomy just wore me out last semester. Anyway I guess there is not a lot to do about that now except wait until next semester. However, I have been thinking about getting back into the family business. I do not know if anyone knows, but we own a driving school. I use to work teaching kids to drive before Taylor got sick. However, the minute she was diagnosed I never drove again. I have not had any desire to be involved in the business ever since Taylor got sick. I have not even wanted to do any of the little things just to help Terry out. However, being so bored or for whatever reason I have been thinking about getting out there and trying to start teaching again. I do not know if I will like it, but I thought I would give it a try. Also, the extra money I could make would not hurt either, and of course if I do not like it I can just quit. On another note, I have of course been missing Taylor just as much as ever. It is still hard to look back and believe all that happen was for real. Unfortunately, it is and that is something I just have to learn to deal with ever day I wake up. I know that missing Taylor is just a part of my life now and I have to learn to live with it and keep going on. I just want Taylor and my Mom to be proud of me and not see me sitting around wasting my life away. Also, on another note, my family is doing fine. Jonathan was not in the area of the mudslide in the Philippines and for that I was very thankful. Layne and Tyler are both doing well. Terry stays busy working and putting up with all of my moods. I am just thankful he tolerates all of them. Once again I would like to think all of you who continue to follow our family. It means so much to me. If you can please just leave a little note even if it is just to say hi. I really do enjoy reading the entries that I get. I will update again soon and if anything exciting happens I will be sure to let you know. Thanks for caring. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, February 6, 2006 1:55 PM CST

It has been a while since my last update, not because I have been so busy doing stuff, just because I have been so bored I have not been doing anything. Sometimes I just get down and then I find it hard to do anything. I am still going to school, but I am only taking Algebra this time. I have never really been good at math and I wanted to have plenty of time to work on it so I might finally get it. However, it has not taken as much of my time as I would have liked it to so I have had a little too much extra time on my hands. For me that is not a good thing. It just leaves me with too much time to think. I can say that January and the start of February have been pretty lonely for me. I just can't believe that life can be such a struggle everyday. I wish it was different, but I know that until I am reunited with Taylor there is always going to be that sad part of my life I have to deal with. There is this song and in it is says "learn to be lonely" and for me that is such a true statement. I mean I have my good times and happy times with my family here, however, there is is always a sad and lonely feeling no matter what I do. I really do not like having to always have a sense of sadness in my life, but I have come to realize that is just the way my life will be for now on. There is no way that I will never not miss my little girl no matter how much time goes past. I just miss her more actually as time passes. On another note, my family is doing well. Jonathan is doing great in the Philippines serving his mission for the church. We get a little e-mail from him every week, but they are not very long because he is so busy. I can not believe he has already been gone for almost 9 months. He will be home before we know it. Tyler and Layne are both doing good too. I am still thankful for those of you who come to this website to check in on our family. It means a lot to me. If you get a chance please sign in the guest book. I like to hear from you when you have the time. I will get you updated and maybe one day put some new pictures of Taylor if I ever get the courage to look through them. That is a hard task for me. Thanks again for caring. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom

Friday, January 6, 2006 8:00 PM CST

Another year has come and gone. However, missing Taylor is still the same as the day she left. People always say that time will make it better. I now do not believe that is a true statement. I miss Taylor more now than I did when she passed away. As the years pass the longing to hear her and see her just increases. The good thing is the knowledge I have of eternal families. I know that one day me and Taylor will be reunited. That is what keeps me going. Without this knowledge I do not know where I would be. I love my little angel so much. I just want to live my life in a way that would make her proud of me.

Far as Christmas goes, I am glad it is over. The only real great thing about the holidays was that I got to talk to Jonathan. We were able to talk for two hours. He is doing well and enjoying his mission in the Philippines. I am so proud of him for choosing to serve a mission. It will help him in so many ways. I also know that he will help many people while he is gone. Pray that he will stay safe throughout his mission.

Nothing else new going on right now. Tyler and Layne are both doing well. Tyler started driving over the holidays. Layne is doing good in his real estate. He is looking forward to a good year. I hope this job works out for him.

Also, I just want to thank you for continuing to check the website. It means so much to me to know that people still remember and care about us. I will keep you informed of any new events. Hope you all have a great new year. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Sunday, December 4, 2005 5:31 PM CST

Just wanted to leave a Happy Birthday wish for my little angel. Tomorrow, December 5th, Taylor would have been nine years old. I can not believe she did not even get to spend 9 years of her life with us. I miss her so much every single day. I can say that I think of her constantly and miss her more all of the time. It has been too long since I last saw her sweet face and heard her sweet little voice. I would give anything to be able to see her again and to hear her sweet little voice. However, she is not here and I am just thankful I had the years I did with her. She was so special. I was truly blessed to be her mother. I love my little girl more than anyone could ever imagine. I look forward to the day we are reunited with each other. Although, for now I will have to live my life without her and do the best I can. I will try to live my life in a way that would make Taylor proud of me. I just want to say one more time "Happy Birthday" to my little angel. Remember that I love you more than anything in the world. You are my sunshine! Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 7:56 PM CST

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! I can not believe it is the holiday season again. This will be our third holiday season without Taylor. Also, her birthday is Dec 5th, she would have been 9 years old. I would give anything to have had the opportunity to celebrate her birthday with her here. The Holidays are a lonely time to me now. This year Jonathan will not even be here. However, we do get to talk to him on the phone on Christmas. I am really looking forward to that. Just a little update with my school. I only have just a little over a week now and we will be finished. I think I might actually pull off an A in my anatomy class. It has been some hard work, but it has really help to keep my mind busy. I am looking forward to the 5 weeks we have no school. I will really enjoy having a break and not being so stressed with all of the school. However, on the other hand school is what keeps my mind busy and helps me get through each and every day. So I probably will be ready to go back before it is even time. Well I just wanted to update and let you know that we are ok and still continue on with our lives even though it is very tough at times. I know the day will come and I will be with Taylor again and that is what keeps me going. Hope everyone has a nice holiday season and please keep in touch. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neen

Tuesday, November 1, 2005 9:03 PM CST

Hello again. Just thought I would take a minute to update. Not really anything new has happened since my last journal entry. We are all doing ok. I am still going to school, threatening to quit everyday. However, I still am hanging in there and doing pretty good. I have not decided for sure if I will start school again in January. I most likely will. It does keep my mind very busy and that is exactly what I need. Of course, I still miss Taylor more than you can imagine and my Mom too. Last night we went and put some cute little pumkins that lite up on Taylor's and Joshua's grave. Who would have ever thought I would be standing in a graveyard on Halloween night. However, it was exactly were I wanted to be. I just want Taylor to always remember and know that I love here and think of her all the time. On a nother note, I thought I would give a little update on Jonathan who is serving in the Philippines. I got an e-mail from him this weekend and he is sick again. He has really had a tuff time. Now he has strep throat. Everytime he gets feeling better he gets something else. He has had a real hard time adjusting to the Philippines. Just pray for him that he will be able to begin to feel better and stay well. He wants to do his missionary work, but everytime he gets going he gets sick again. I guess it is hard when you change your environment completely. Hopefully, his body will begin to adjust to his new surroundings before much longer. He also has lost about 40 pounds since he got there just a little over 3 months ago. We will not even recognize him when he comes home. I really miss him a lot also. Well I guess I will stop writing for now and will update again soon. I think everyone who continues to check on us and want you to know how much it means to me. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, October 10, 2005 7:48 PM CDT

Just a little note to let you know how we are doing. Everything is about the same around our home. I am still tyring to get my way through anatomy, and it is one hard class. They think you can learn tons of stuff at one time. My brain is just too old and tired for all of the stuff they give us at one time. However, I will have to say it does help to keep my mind busy. It keeps me from dwelling on what will never be. Speaking of which, I miss Taylor just as much today as I did the day she left. Actually, I miss her more now. It has been so long since I last saw her sweet face. Sometimes I just sit and think about our times together and it takes all the energy I have not to lose my mind. I guess that is why anatomy is good for me. It leaves me very little time to think of anything else. Terry and the boys are all doing ok. Layne is busy trying to make the real estate job work, and Tyler is busy with school. Now Jonathan is another story. He is roughen it in the Philippines. He has some bad conditions to live with, but he is doing ok. I think he is pretty homesick most of the time, but he continues to do the Lord's work. He says he knows that is what he needs to be doing and he will not give up. He has been gone almost 5 months now. So he only has 19 to go. He will make it. I know this will be a good experience for him, and will make him a better person. I am very proud of him for chosing to serve the Lord as a missionary. I also will be glad the day he comes home. I miss him alot too. Thanks to those of you who continue to check the website. It means a lot to me. Please e-mail when you get a chance, and I will update again soon. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, September 24, 2005 8:37 PM CDT

Tonight my journal entry is quite simple. I just miss my little angel Taylor and my Mom. To them both "I love you and miss you so much." Love Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, September 14, 2005 8:52 PM CDT

Today is the 2 year anniversary of Taylor's passing. It has been a long 2 years. I will say that it has not been easy getting to this point. I am so thankful that Taylor was a part of my life. I miss her so very much. She was so sweet and innocent. I will never forget her sweet smile and her loving ways. I was truly blessed by my Heavenly Father to be given the opportunity to be Taylor's Mom. I would not change being her Mom for anything in the world. She was my hero. She taught me so much. I am so thankful for the knowledge I have of knowing that I will someday be with her again. That is what keeps me going. One day we will be reunited as Mother and daughter. I look forward to that day. I can not even begin to comprehend the joy I will feel when that day comes. However, the most important thing is that I know for a fact that day will come. I have been blessed in my life to have the knowledge that families are forever. Without this I would not know what to do. How lucky I was to have parents who taught me the true gospel principles. I just want to say for now that I love and miss Taylor more than anything. Also, I want to say that I love my family here on this earth now. They are very special to me also. I want to be here for them too. Thank you for still checking up on me and my family. I truly do appreciate the entries that still come in the guestbook. It means a lot to me to know that people still care. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Saturday, September 3, 2005 4:50 PM CDT

Hello everyone. It has been a while since my last update. Nothing exciting has been going on just too lazy. I really do not have a lot of energy. It is coming up on the 2 year anniversary of Taylor's death. I can not believe it has been that long since I last saw her or spoke to her. The worst part is, I can not believe it will be 2 years plus who knows how long before I will see her again. I have really been missing her a lot lately. I always miss her, but the past couple of weeks it has been much more intense. I hate when I get down and get in this mode of feeling sorry for myself. I just don't want to do anything. I know that Taylor would not want me to be like this. I just can't help it. It just creeps up on me and then I feel like I am stuck. The only way out is to busy my mind with other things and then it feels like I am trying to put Taylor out of my mind. I hate that too. I am sorry to sound so negative, but I guess I just am in the dumps right now and can not help it. I miss Taylor so very much. I miss my Mom too. They were my two very best friends and my life seems so empty without them in it. I have gone back to school and that is keeping me pretty busy. I am taking anatomy this time and it is really tough. Alot of things to remember and I can hardly remember who I am half the time. It is for sure making my brian work. I just hope I can do it. Just to let you know Jonathan is in the Philippines and he is doing fine. It is tough living conditions, but he is dealing with them. He has already lost 25 pounds. I guess the eating is not the same. However, he is excited about sharing the gospel with others so I guess that will be what keeps him going. We miss him very much, but we are thankful that he has chose to serve the Lord as a missionary. I know he will be blessed greatly for his efforts. I just would like to think everyone who checks in on us still. We are all doing ok. Life is not the same as it use to be, but it never will be. For now, I just will live the best I can so Taylor and my Mom would be proud of me. I know they understand when I get down. Sign the guestbook if you get a chance and I will update again soon. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, August 6, 2005 3:51 PM CDT

Just a brief update to let you know I am still alive. I have been gone to Utah the past 21 days. I just got back late Thursday night. I had a good time while I was there. I did not get to see Jonathan before he left for the Philippines. He arrived there on the 4th of August. We got to talk with hime the day before he got there and he really sounded good. He was full of the spirit and ready to serve the Lord in whatever way he could. His mind was in the right place to make a great missionary. I really wanted to see him, but it was against all of the rules. They do not want them to get their minds off the missionary work they need to do. I did have the opportunity to sneak some McDonald's double cheeseburgers in one day. He said they were great. I am sure he will make the best missionary the Philippines has seen in a long time. I am very proud of him. Nothing new with the rest of the family we are just all hanging around. I can say I am sorta not so happy today. I guess coming back home, just brings up all of the memories. Terry said it did not seem right for me to be gone so long and not have Taylor with me when I came home. I know exactly what he means. I understand our Heavenly Father's great plan, but somedays know matter how hard I want to think Taylor is in a much better place, I just can't seem to do it. I think a much better place would be here with me. I miss her so very much. I also miss the many things I would be able to enjoy with her as my daughter. I would give anything to have one more opportunity just to have her little arms wrapped around my neck and hear her whisper that she loves me. I miss my little girl more than anyone could ever imagine. I miss my Mom too. Her and Taylor were truly my best friends and it just has not been right with out them. However, I must continue on and strive to live each day the best I can. Somedays that is not easy, but for them I will do the best I can no matter how hard it is. So much for me feeling sorry for myself. Thank you for still checking up on us from time to time. I will try to update again soon. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, July 3, 2005 8:45 PM CDT

Happy 4th of July to everyone! I hope everyone is doing ok. It is hard to believe it is already the 4th of July. This year has really been going by fast. The only thing is that Taylor is not in it. I really do miss her an awful lot. I find myself just sitting and thinking of all the time we spent together and the things we did. I am thankful that I have so many wonderful memories of my sweet little girl. I am so thankful that she was my little girl and I had the opportunity to be a part of the short life she had here on this earth. Taylor was truly the best friend I ever had. I miss her so very much. I am just thankful that I have the knowledge of eternal families and know without a doubt we will be together again someday. That is what keeps me going. I am also thankful for all of you who continue to check the website and let me know you are thinking of us still. It means more than you will ever know. Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Saturday, June 18, 2005 3:27 PM CDT

Guess it has been a while since I last update. Not a whole new to tell you. When I last updated I told you about Jonathan going on a mission for our church. He has been gone now for about two and a half weeks. It seems like a lot longer than that. We have two years before he comes home and that sounds like a long time. At first he was having a very hard time being away from home. He said he cried all day for the first five and a half days he was there. Now he is just learning to cope with the fact he will not see us for the next couple of years and trying to do what he has been called to do. I know he will make a great missionary. I am very proud of him for making this choice. I know that Taylor and my Mom are very proud of him also. I still miss the both of them so very much. I guess somethings you just have to learn to live with. I don't like the fact they are not here, I just can't change it. I wish I could, but that is beyond my power. However, with the knowledge I have of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I know that I will see and be with both of them again. I am grateful for that everyday. That is what keeps me going. I just want to thank all of those who continue to come to the website and check on us. It makes me know that there are people out there who still remember Taylor and keep her close to their heart. Thank you for you support. Please e-mail me when you can. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, June 5, 2005 9:20 PM CDT

Hello! We are back home again. As you probably know we have been gone for the past week taking Jonathan out to Salt Lake City, Utah to begin his mission for our church. He will be serving in the Naga City Philippines Mission. He will be in Utah until the first of August learning the language they speak. Then he will be off to the Philippines for 22 months. I already miss him very much. Our home has never stopped feeling lonely with Taylor gone and now Jonathan being gone adds to it. However, I know that Jonathan will return and that is a huge difference. Although, I do really miss him. I just feel like my children are all disappearing. However, I know that Jonathan is doing the right thing by serving our Heavenly Father and spreading his gospel on this earth. He will be truly blessed for his dedication serving the Lord. I am thankful that he lived his life to be worthy of this opportunity. He told me he knew that Taylor and his Grandma would be looking out for him all the time. I know they will be too. Please keep in touch and e-mail if you can. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 8:27 PM CDT

Just wanted to let you know that we are off in the morning to Utah. We are all going out a week early to spend some time with some friends and visit around Salt Lake before Jonathan checks in next week. Our flight takes off at 6:30am which is a little early for me. I always hate packing because it reminds me of going to Duke and other places with Taylor. It leaves me with such a lonely feeling when we head off somewhere and she is not coming along. The good thing is that I know her and my Mom will be watching over Jonathan the whole time he is gone. I will update and let you know how things go when we get back. Please e-mail when you can and thanks for the continued support. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, May 8, 2005 4:29 PM CDT

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mom's today. Just wanted to sign on for a minute and let everyone know how thankful I am for my Mom. This is my first Mother's Day in 45 years that my Mom has not been with me and I can say I miss her with all my heart. She was a true example of what a Mother should be. I admired my Mom and will always strive to be just like her. Also, I am thankful to be a Mom. I am especially thankful for the opportunity I had to be Taylor's mom. I would not trade the time we had together here on this earth as Mother and Daughter for nothing in the world. It was truly the most blessed part of my whole life. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, May 3, 2005 4:04 PM CDT

Hello again. School is over and I made it with two A's. I am proud of myself. I wanted to quit so many times, and now I am so glad that I did not give up. I am going to take one class on-line this summer. I enjoyed school for the most part it was just all of the English papers that got to me. Time is getting closer for Jonathan's departure and I don't know how I really feel about that. I guess it is best for him to get started so he can hurry up and get back home again. However, I know when he comes home it will never be quite the same. Hopefully he will be more mature and have some plans for his future by then. We are all going out to Utah with him. We are leaving on the 25th of May and coming home on the 2nd of June. I am looking forward to the trip, however I know that it will be really hard coming home without Jonathan. Unfortunately, our house still has that empty feeling without Taylor and Jonathan's absence will just add to it. The good thing is that I know he will return. Of course, Taylor is still on my mind all the time. I can see her everywhere I look. I was thinking about her today and I was feeling sad and my first thought was to call my Mom and then I remembered that I could not call her either. I really miss my Mom and not being able to talk to her about things and especially Taylor. My Mom loved Taylor just the same as me and it helped to have her to talk too. I guess the good thing is that they are together. We did have Relay for Life this past weekend and there was over two hundred luminaries with Taylor's and my Mom's pictures on them lined up along the pathway for the walkers. It was so neat to see all of them. I guess that is all for now, but I will keep you up-to-date about things going on in our life as they happen. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Friday, April 22, 2005 8:33 PM CDT

Hello everyone. Not much new to report. We have not really been doing anything exciting. School will be ending next week and I think I might have made it with all A's. I am so glad to be finished with the paper writing. I did not enjoy that. I am going to take one class this summer, and then most likely this fall I will try and take about 3 or 4 at one time. School has helped to keep my mind occupied. However, I still think of my little girl all day every day. I know that there is not anything in the world that I could do to change that and that is ok. I never want to quit thinking of her. Even though sometimes it hurts beyond imagination, I never want to stop thinking of her. She was my little angel. I loved her and still love her more than anything in the world. I would give anything just to hear the sound of her voice or to kiss that little head of hers. I was so blessed to have her in my life and continued to be blessed by the things she taught me. I know that one day we will be reunited and that will be the most joyful day of my life. However, for now I have to be strong for my children that are here and help them all I can. I know they need me also. I just want to thank you for still coming to this website and supporting me as I try and continue on with my life. E-mail when you can and I will update again soon. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 4:05 PM CDT

Hello again. I hope everyone is doing good. I just wanted to update you with some positive news from the Hancock family. Alot of you knew that we had been waiting for Jonathan to put in his mission papers in to serve for two years for our church, well he did, and we have received them back. He will be leaving on June 1st (a little faster than we thought) but most important he will be serving in the Philippines Naga City Mission. He wanted to go out of the country, but maybe not that far. However, he is looking forward to it. He will have to learn the Tagalog language in the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah for a couple of months prior to leaving. He is a little nervous about leaving home because as he put it he is a "Mama's Boy". I will have to say I am more than a little nervous about him leaving home for a lot of reasons. I know he will be fine because he will be serving the Lord and he will protect him, but I just don't know how I am going to deal with the seperation. At least I will know he is coming home, but our home already seems so empty and this will just add to it. Jonathan has been home with me over the past year. He has not worked because I guess he has just been helping me deal with things. I know it is going to be tuff for him and me both. We only will be able to communitcate through e-mail or mail once a week. He is only allowed to call home on Mother's Day and Christmas. I know that this is the right thing for Jonathan and I am proud of him for going to serve. I know it will be tough getting used to another absence, but at least this time I will know in a couple of years he will be home. For the rest of the family everyone is excited for Jonathan and we all plan on going to Utah the last week of May to spend some time there before he checks in to the mission home on June 1st. As for me I am doing ok. I still miss Taylor as much as someone could possibly be missed. I plan on going to school through the summer and starting back in the fall. Hopefully, this will help to keep my mind busy enough to deal with the grief. Please keep in touch and I will update again soon. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, March 30, 2005 7:28 PM CST

Just wanted to let you know that I am still hanging in there. I have been busy with school. We have a research paper due this coming Monday and that has kept me busy. I can't believe school is almost over. We only have until the end of April. I actually think I will make it. I have started to quit several times but just did not want to give up. I have not made up my mind about going this summer yet. I know that I have to do something to keep me busy. It is nice to see the weather starting to warm up. Tyler is home on spring break this week. We have all just been hanging around home not doing much. Jonathan has put in his papers to go on his mission for our church. We are expecting an answer back from that anytime now. It will be very hard to let him go for two years but I know that it is the right thing for him to do. I guess if I can endure what I have been through over the past several years, I can endure one more thing. Especially knowing that this is a good thing and hopefully only good can come from it. Layne is almost through with all of his real estate test and hopefully will be able to get started soon. Of course I am still missing Taylor and my Mom some kinda bad, but what would you expect. I just pray that some day I will learn to tolerate the heartache better and enjoy the life I have left to live. I do have alot to be thankful for even though I have so much missing. I will try my best to make my Mom and Taylor proud of me. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, March 19, 2005 6:33 PM CST

I was trying to decide whether or not to update. I thought about it and figured why not. I did not know if I should share with everyone the way I feel. I am completely on the down cycle and hate it. I try so hard to be positive and think life is grand, but it is not. How can life be grand, two of the most important people in my life are gone. The world I loved and two of the people I loved so much are not here. Everywhere I look I can see Taylor. My mind is constantly full of thoughts of her. I miss her so much. Over the past 4 years I dedicated my life to taking care of my little girl and my Mom. I just can't seem to get pass that. My every second, hour, and days were full of tending to their every need. I feel so loss without them in my world. I can not seem to find my place. I am 45 years old and can't figure out what to do with my life. I thought at this age things were all figured out. I don't want to figure out my life again. I like the way it was. It was perfect to me. I was happy. I had a mother and a daughter that were part of it. I want you to know that I love my family that is here now, but they just don't have the same needs for me. Also, there is no one who can replace your daughter and mother. I miss that kind of realtionship that we shared. Well so much for me being strong and brave like Taylor and my Mom would want. I think for now I just want to drown in my own pity and be miserable. I hate to admit it, but that is just where I am at now. Thanks for caring and checking on me and please pray that I might figure out how to find my place in this world again. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, March 9, 2005 9:40 AM CST

I wanted to add an update, but I hate doing it when I am down. I don't like sounding so negative. Unfortunately, I have found myself to be in the down mode for some time now. I will just say that everyone is doing ok. It is spring break from school and I really don't like that. I miss having a reason to make me get out of the bed in the morning. However, I do have a research paper due when I return and that is putting a little pressure on me. I will be glad when I get pass the English class and don't have so much paper writing. My brain just seems dead when I try to think of things to write. Not a whole lot else going on right now. Except of course I miss Taylor and my Mom more than one can imagine. Especailly Taylor, I just don't know how life can ever be complete again without her. She was the joy of my life. I love my boys just the same, but there was something about her that no one can ever replace. I guess that is true with all of your kids. How could anyone's life be the same when they lose a child. I just miss her so much. I wish time did heal the heart, but I can honestly say I don't think anything in the world can heal the loss of your child. Please keep praying for me that I may keep pushing along and always strive to live a life that will someday reunite me with her. I do believe families are forever. I have been taught that all my life and for that I am so grateful. If I did not have that knowledge, I can truly say I don't know where my life would be right now. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, February 22, 2005 12:17 AM CST

First, I would just like to thank those who donated to Relay for Life in Memory of Taylor. The website is still below if anyone is interested.

We are still all doing about the same around the homefront. I am getting a little tired of the cold weather and will be so glad when I can spend more time outside. I am still trying to keep up with school, but feel it is getting the best of me. I guess my stress level is not very high these days. Seems like I have been having quite a few lonely days here lately. I miss Taylor and my Mom so much. It seems like with time the separation just gets worst. I have learned a new way of life, as people put it, but I can't say I am that fond of it. Terry and the boys are all doing ok. Everyone is just bored and tired of being in the house. I guess before we at least got out to see my Mom a lot and most of all on Sundays and now it seems like there is just not anywhere we want to go. Hopefully spring will be here soon and we can find things to keep us busy outside and that might help. Thanks again for all of the support and please e-mail me when you can. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, February 5, 2005 12:01 AM CST

I know all of you probably have heard of Relay for Life. Well it is that time again. I am trying to reach a goal this year for raising money in Taylor’s memory. I know everyone has been very supported of our family in all that we have been through, but if anyone would be interested in making a donation in her memory for at least ten dollars they will light a luminary in her memory at this years Relay. If anyone has ever been to a Relay for Life, then you will understand how good it makes you feel inside to see someone who you love so dearly being remember by so many people. Taylor has had at least 100 luminaries each year, and I hope to keep her Memory alive as long as I live. The Relay is sponsored by the American Cancer Society. This year they have made it very easy to donate. You can go to the link provided and make donations on line if you would like. (Scroll down the website until you see Links and click on the one for Relay) There is also an option on the link also to mail in the donation if you prefer. You would simply print the form and mail it to my sister, Jacque Taylor (Team Member), at 308 Pennington Blvd., Portsmouth, VA 23701.

I know that I am once again asking something of you without giving anything in return, but any donations in her memory will be greatly appreciated. Thank you again for all of the continued support.

Love, Angel Taylor’s Mom Neena

Sunday, January 23, 2005 11:53 AM CST

I thought I would take a minute to update again and let you know how things were going. We are all doing pretty well. Layne is getting ready to go to Real Estate School in February. Jonathan is getting ready to put his papers in with the Church to go on a two year mission. Tyler is just going to school and playing video games whenever he gets the chance. Terry is still running the Driving School and trying to put vinyl siding on the house when the weather permits. I have gone back to school. I only started with two classes to make sure I could get back in the swing of studying. I am taking English 111 and I am not to excited about that. I hate writing, but that is one class you just can't get out of. However, I think it will be good for me to get out and be around people and give me something to keep my mind busy so I want have a lot of time to think. It was really so tough for me through the month of December and I felt I had to do something to survive. I really hope this will help me. I feel like it is my last straw so to speak. I just really need something to occupy my mind. When all of the memories start to flood my mind I feel like I will just die. I just miss Taylor so very much. It is so hard living without one of your children when you know they should be with you. I still can't believe all of this is real most of the time. Also, losing my Mom. She was my true friend, one that I could also turn to for support no matter what. I really do miss her. I guess I will close for now, but please send me a note if you get a chance. I still enjoy hearing from you. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Sunday, January 23, 2005 11:53 AM CST

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 3:50 PM CST

A late Happy New Year to everyone. A another New Year has come and life still goes on. I guess our family had an ok Christmas this year. However, I am not to sure they will ever be what they use to be. Everyone is doing fine and everyone in the family is healthy. This is the first time in about four years that I can actually say that. I am looking forward to a year without any sickness or great sorrow other than what we still must endure with the losses we have already had. Life still continues to be somewhat difficult to me. I miss Taylor and my Mom so very much. I think with time we do learn how to deal with the new life we are now required to live, but I do not think the heartache will ever diminish even with time. I truly miss Taylor so much it takes my breathe away when I sit and think of her. I am just so happy that my Mom is with her and they can be so happy together. I do know without a doubt they are happy and are together. I would give anything to have a moment to see their happiness. I would like to once again thank each of you for your continued support and your e-mails you send me. I will always be grateful to everyone who has supported me through all that has happened over the past several years. Thank you again. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, December 25, 2004 1:59 PM CST

I just wanted to wish all of you a Very Merry Christmas! I will have to say this has been a tough holiday for all of the family. Taylor and Grandma both not being here is pretty tough. Especially not being able to go to Grandma's house where most of our Christmas Eve's have been spent our whole life both children and grandchildren included. My sister was the only one that had never been another place out of my siblings. For her this was her first in 43 years. That is a hard tradition to break. Me and my brother only missed two. We did spend the holiday at my sister's house and tried to keep all of the same traditions as grandma, but without her we could all feel the difference. Of course we all missed Taylor too and she is the lucky one who gets Grandma for Christmas this year. I know they are both happy and I am sure they were with us in spirit all through the night. I just want to thank all of you who continue to check in and give me support with your e-mails. You will never know how much they mean to me. I will keep in touch, but for now I just hope you have a continued Happy Holiday. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, December 25, 2004 1:59 PM CST

Saturday, December 11, 2004 9:40 PM CST

Just wanted to say hello to everyone. I just love to look at the picture of Taylor on this page and see that sweet smile. It touches my heart in a way that I could not begin to explain. I miss her so much. Nothing in the world seems just right without her. I keep trying to hang in there and move forward, but at times I will have to say it is a tough thing to do. I miss her and my Mom so very much. Please keep in touch. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, December 2, 2004 2:26 PM CST

We made it through Thanksgiving. We went to my sister's husband's family's house for Thanksgiving. It was different. My brother was not able to be their with his family because he had to go to New York, his wife's Grandmother passed away. I really missed my little angle and my sweet Mother. Plus not having it at my Mom's house I had to wait for dinner to be served. No picking out of the pots and testing the food before hand. That is actually my favorite part. I usually am full after just testing the food. Of course, there was not any collards for you southern folk you know that was missed. My poor Mom always made them and it was such a job. At least it is over for now and that is one holiday over for this season.

Now I have to face this upcoming Sunday which will be the 5th of December which would have been her 8th Birthday. In our church this would have been the year of her baptism. I know that Taylor does not need any of that where she is because she has everything now. I guess I am the one who needs these events in my life because I should have had the opportunity to see her baptized and so many other things I have to miss out on in her life. The good thing is that I truly no in my heart without a doubt that I will not miss out on anything in Taylor's life it just will have to come at another time. I will be with her someday and enjoy her even more than I could have on this earth. I am so thankful for the knowledge I have been blessed with of the Great Plan of Salvation in our lives. That through the great love of our Saviour Jesus Christ that all things are possible. This knowledge is what keeps me moving forward each and everyday. But, I will have to say that I have really been missing her so very much. She was my world. I love my boys just like I did Taylor, but I am sure you all of heard that there is not anything like a daughter. That is what makes it so hard and I have lost my Mother on one end of the stick and my Daughter on the other end. I just wish one of them could still be here with me. I have such a great void in my heart losing the both of them so close together. However, that is where my real peace comes in knowing that they are together and they are both so happy. I know they watch over me and I am thankful for that. I feel there love so often around me. I just wish I could have a second in time to put my arms around the both of them and once again tell them I love them and most of all to hear them tell me the same. I guess I have gone on enough for one day. I just want to thank those of you who continue to check in on me and know that it means everything to me. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:38 PM CST

Just wanted to tell everyone to have a Great Thanksgiving. We will do the best we can. It for sure will not be the same not only without Taylor, but Grandma's house has always been the Thanksgiving Gathering Place for all of our family. It will be greatly missed this year. My Mom always did so much to make sure the holiday's were perfect for all of us. It did not matter how good she felt or not she always put 100 percent into everything when it concerned her family.

I just want to add how Thankful I am for my sweet little girl Taylor and for my Mother. I will be forever thankful to my Father in Heaven for letting both of them be such an important part of my life. I miss them so much.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Thursday, November 11, 2004 9:06 PM CST

I thought I would update tonight to let you know that we are still hanging in there. I am not really looking forward to the holidays and Taylor's 8th Birthday would have been December 5th. Alot of emotions to deal with over the next month or so. Hopefully, they will pass quickly and I can get through them ok. I have been missing Taylor and my Mom so much the past few weeks. It has been tough. Having my arm in this cast has kept me from doing alot and I have had to much time to sit around and feel sorry for myself. Tomorrow I go to the doctor and hopefully he will take it off. It could be another week, but I sure hope not. Not a whole lot more going on to tell you about. Life has been kinda boring and lonely lately and I hope I can find my way out of this stage and feel a little bit of peace again. I guess what they say is true so many steps forward and then you fall back down and have to work your way back up again. Hopefully, I will find the way back up soon. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, October 30, 2004 9:26 PM CDT

Just wanted to update tonight. I guess I am feeling pretty lonely tonight. I miss Taylor and my Mom so very much. I guess the holiday season starting to roll in is not helping much. I am not really looking forward to any of them. Personally, I will be glad when they are all over again. The only problem no matter how soon they are over they will come again and they still will not be here to celebrate with us. It has been really hard lately and I guess not being able to do anything with my arm in a cast is not helping much. I can not do anything because it is not only my right hand but also my thumb is completed restricted from any movement. I have at least until Nov 12th and hopefully that will come soon. Please pray for me to be strong and to find that courage to carry on and be the person Taylor and my Mom would want me to be. Somedays I just feel so weak. I just miss my little girl. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 9:46 PM CDT

Things have been going ok for me, but still nothing to brag about. I don't think I have yet accepted that my Mom is really gone. It just seems all so unreal to me. I think I am just so numb from the loss of Taylor I sometimes don't think I feel anything anymore. I know that one day it will hit me like a ton of bricks and then I will have to deal with it. For now I just continue to take a day at a time and hope for the best each and every day. Our family is doing ok in general. We have been trying to decide if we should move into my Mom's house. It is a tough decision. I hate to leave my home where Taylor spent her life, but I also hate to see my Mother's home sold. All of the grandchildren have bascially spent every Christmas Eve right there in her house. Even Taylor spent all of hers there. It is where I grew up also. At my Mom's house I feel Taylor and my Mother both. Taylor really loved going to her Grandmother's house. I just pray that I will be guided to make the right choice. Tomorrow I have to go in for some surgery. The bone in my thumb is rubbing another bone because all of the connective tissue is gone and it becomes very painful at times. They will cut away some of the bone so it want rub anymore. The bad thing is that I have to wear a cast for about 3 or 4 weeks and if anyone knows me at all being out of order will be tough for me. I have to stay busy sewing or something all the time to keep my mind busy. I just hope I will be able to do something so I don't go stir crazy. I guess that is about it for now. The boys and Terry are doing good. Layne has stayed at my Mom's house ever since she passed away. He says it is just too lonely at our house. I have to agree with that it has been very lonely ever since my sweet little angel left us over a year ago now. I sure do miss her. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, October 11, 2004 11:03 PM CDT

When I look at the new picture on the front page I realize how much I have lost in the past year. Two of the most precious and important people in my life are now gone. I know that they still live, but just not right here with me at this time. How I long for the day to be able to stand with them both again and have such smiles on our face and the joy we seemed to share together at that time. I do know this day will come and that is what keeps me going. I miss the both of them so very much, but I do have peace knowing they are now together and both free from pain. How life can change in such a short amount of time. Just a little over three years ago my whole life was turn upside down and will never be the same. I do know for a fact you should never take anything in life for granted. Life is too short and we should spend all of our efforts loving our family and sharing time with them. Don't let wordly things every get in the way of those you love. You never know when they could be gone. I was just a regular person living day by day as most of you do without a care in the world and thought life was just wonderful, but then the day came without a notice or warning and my life was changed forever. I miss my Mother and Taylor tremendously and long to be with them. My heart will forever have an empty spot, but someday that will all be gone and I will be reunited with them. For now I just have to live day to day and do the best I can to make each of them proud of me. My Mom promised me before she passed away that her and Taylor would always be there for me to help me along the way. I believe they will be there with all my heart. I can feel there love around me so much of the time. I just want to thank all of you for the support you have given me through so many difficult days, but most of all for the many prayers and the faith you had for my Mom and Taylor throughout their entire sickness. Thank you so very much for your support and please keep in touch. I still love to read the e-mails and hear from all of you. I will keep you update and let you know what is going on with each of us. We may decide to buy my Mom's house to keep in the family. We are trying to make that decision at this time. Thank you again for you support. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, September 30, 2004 10:56 PM CDT

I would just like to let everyone know that my Mom peacefully joined Taylor tonight at 7:40pm. She went in her sleep as she hoped she would. We were able to keep her home and she had all of her family here with her. I will update more but for now please pray for our family to be able to endure the next several days. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, September 26, 2004 1:26 PM CDT

I just wanted to keep you informed of what was going on with my Mom at this time. She is still not doing well and is declining each day. I don't think we have much time left here with her. She does not seem to be in as much pain now. I think we have that under control most of the time, but she is so weak she can barely hold her head up. She has also for the most part quit eating now. She still tries but it makes her feel to sick. She continues to endure her illness with great strength. She is such a loving Mother and Grandmother and we are all blessed to have her in our lives. She has always been the center of our families. She has always keep our family unit together her on this earth. I am so thankful I have the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life and know that even after this life we can continue to be an eternal family. I am so thankful for the parents I was blessed with who always taught us the correct gospel principles. I just ask each of you to continue to pray for her and for our families as we try to be strong for her and do all we can to make the remainder of her days here as peaceful as possible. One day I plan on changing the pictures too. I have so many wonderful pictures of Taylor, but not being at home I have know way to put them on the computer. I still love the picture on the front page. Everytime I open it, it brings a smile to my face. I can see her now she was such a little girl in everyway, but she still could be just enough tomboy to play with her brothers. She is so missed by all of our family. I am just so thankful she was and will forever be my little girl. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, September 17, 2004 4:26 PM CDT

A little update. My Mom has not had any improvement and is steadily slipping away from us. It is such a hard thing to watch. It has been a very busy week taking care of my Mom and the only good thing that came from it all is that it has given me less of a chance to dwell on the anniversary date of Taylor's death. We did all go out to the graveyard and let off about 100 ballons with messages from her family both immediate and extended who love her so much and miss her so. It was very speacial. I know Taylor and Joshua were both looking down on us. I could feel her smiling at each of us. This past year has been such a growing year for me as a person. When I have the time I will explain how. Of course the changes have come from the loss of Taylor and the love I have for her. However, for now I must keep myself busy helping my Mom and doing whatever I can to keep her comfortable. She told me last night she did not have much time left and not to be sad. I don't think me not being sad is going to be much of an option right now, but knowing that she will be with Taylor will surely bring a smile to my face. I will be so happy for Taylor and my Mom being reunited again. They had such a special relationship from the day Taylor was born. I just would give anything to see the moment they meet again. Please pray for my Mom and ask our Father in Heaven to keep her comfortable until her time comes to go Home again. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, September 12, 2004 11:58 AM CDT

I just wanted to give you a short update on my Mom. She is not doing any better, but we did not expect her to be anyway. She has almost lost all of her ability to move around. Tomorrow they will be bringing a hospital bed for the den. Last night I thought she would not take another breath by the time we got her to her room for bed. It hurts so much to see her like this. I just ask for everyone to pray that her suffering will end soon and that our family can once again try to heal from the loss of one we love so very much. I think of Taylor and how she was suffering so as her life was almost to end. Sometimes it seems like more than I can handle, but yet somehow I do. I know that Taylor's sweet little spirit is near me all the time helping me along the way. I miss her more than one could imagine. However, I have peace in knowing that we can be an eternal family and she will be there waiting for all of her family as they each return home to their Heavenly Father. I can't think of anyone sweeter to greet someone that her. I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to be her Mother her on this earth. I think my Father in Heaven each day for the time we had together. I will try my best to keep you updated on my Mom and please keep the prayers going for her. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, September 9, 2004 3:46 PM CDT

It is me again. I only have sad news to report. My Mom is not doing very well. She is now on Hospice and things are looking like they are all most over. I can't believe I am reliving last September all over again. I stay with my Mom all the time now. My sister also spends the night. It is so hard watching my Mom fade away from us like this. I feel just like I am taking care of Taylor. I do all of the same things I did for her. It is very hard for me, but it is something I have to do and want to do for my Mother. I would not be suprised if my Mother passes away on the same day as Taylor, September 14, in some ways it almost seems appropriate. They were so close to one another. However, on the other hand it seems almost impossibe for such a thing to happen. I do know that whatever is our Heavenly Father's will is what will happen. I can only accept that and once again try my best to be the person my Mom and Taylor would want me to be. Please pray for my Mom that her suffering will be limited and she will not have to face anymore pain. She has endured her sickness well and I am so proud to have her as my Mom. I love her with all my heart. I know that when her time does comes that Taylor will be there with her arms open. I ask my Mom to give her a big hug and kiss from me to and tell her how much I love her. She told me her and Taylor would always be looking out for me and helping me along the way. Please once again pray for her and I will let you know how things go. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, August 31, 2004 9:41 PM CDT

I wanted to update a little tonight and let you know how things are going with my Mom and the rest of us. First, my computer has been down and I have not been able to get any new pictures or anything for the past couple of weeks. It is hard being without the computer when you get so use to it. I am just thankful I did not lose any of my pictures of Taylor or my Mom.

Now a little about my Mom. She is not doing good at all. She has been very down and has no energy at all. She has decided not to get anymore chemo. I really think that is the best decision for her. She is very tired and her body can not tolerate a whole lot more. She has been a fighter just like Taylor. She only has sixteen days until her grandson returns from his mission from South America. She just prays to make it until then. Please pray for her that this wish will come true. I love my Mom so much and hate to see her suffer. It is hard to believe as we approach the year anniversary of Taylor's death we may have to face the lose of my Mom as well. The peace I can get from this is Taylor will be so happy for her Grandma to be with her. The were so close to each other and I know that Taylor will be the first one to greet her on the other side. Taylor would have it no other way. I would give anything to be able to have the opportunity to see the reunion of the two. I can only imagine the joy they will feel. I just pray that they will look after me together and help me to endure my time here on this earth without them. There is nothing like the love of your Daughter and Mother. I love my boys just as much, but the bond of Mother and Daughter is just different. Having to lose them both just seems to be more than I can handle, but somehow I will continue on and live a life that would make them both proud of me. I know that this sounds like I have given up on my Mom, but I have not. I still believe in miracles and pray for one each and everyday. I ask all of you to do the same.

Tomorrow will be my 45th birthday. I will never forget my last Birthday with Taylor. She went out last year and got everything she could think of to make my Birthday perfect and it was. I still have all of the things she gave me. She was so sick that day. I will never forget the determination she had that day to make sure everything was just perfect. I will always cherish the wonderful memories I have of her. She was and still is my little angel. I miss her more than one could ever imagine.
Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Saturday, August 14, 2004 7:54 PM CDT

I can't hardly believe it has been 11 months today. It seems like it has been forever. I can't really say that it seems like it was just yesterday because I can say for sure it does not. I miss Taylor so much and my heart knows it has been a long time since I last heard her voice or saw her pretty smile. Or to hear her say Mama "I Love You". How I long to hear those words to come from her sweet little lips again. Tonite I went to see a movie and so many people had told me about it. It was called "The Notebook". I don't know how many of you have seen it, but at the end the husband and wife go to sleep and the both die together. As I looked at them lay on the bed together so peaceful and happy I of course thought about how easy that would have been if that had been the way it would have been for me and Taylor. Life would have been so easy for me then. Of course, that would be the selfish thing for me to think. I do know that I have other children and I do love each of them. It would have been the same if it had been Layne, Jonathan, or Tyler. It is an awful thing to lose one of your children. It is just a part of your heart that no one can replace that is completely gone. I don't mean to sound so gloomy tonite, I just miss my little girl. When Taylor died it took a part of my heart that will be forever missing unitl the day we are reunited again. I am so thankful to know that we will be reunited. What peace that brings to my soul. I love the gosepl of Jesus Christ and the simple Plan of Salvation and Eternal Families. What a difference it makes in my life. Without this knowledge I do not know what I would do. I am so grateful for a loving Mother and Father who taught me these precious gospel principals. I truly know that families can be together forever.

Also, I would like to update you on my Mom. She had surgery this past week. They put a tube in her stomach so that we could drain the fluid off her stomach as necessary. The surgery went well. Of course, she is sore and once again has to overcome another surgery. The doctor told her she could continue with the chemo in a couple of weeks if she would like. Her tumor marker did not change but by 100 points which really is not anything. So for now the cancer has not really progressed much. She is very tired and weak however. I am not sure how much more her body can truly handle. We do not fell comfortable to leave her alone any. She told me the other day Taylor was making her hold on to help me. I pray that she can find a miracle in her life. Her other Grandson will be home Sept. 16 and her first grandchild will be married in the Washington DC Temple this coming Friday. Please pray for her continually to find the strength to endure whatever lies ahead and pray for that miracle if it is possible in her life. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, August 8, 2004 8:49 PM CDT

Today we celebrated Layne's 21st birthday. We all went to his Grandma's house because she was to sick to go anywhere. My Mom is very sick. She keeps building up fluid due to the cancer. In the past 12 days she has gained ten pounds back which was the amount of fluid taken off not even two weeks ago. The fluid causes her to be very sick to her stomach. She can't really eat because her stomach is so full of fluid it is hard to get anything down. Tomorrow or Tuesday we are hoping to have outpatient surgery to have a tube put in her stomach so that we can remove the fluid off at home and hopefully this will help to keep her more comfortable. Thursday she did recieve the chemo again but she had a reaction at the end of that so she will not be able to get the chemo anymore. I don't think that much matters because it did not seem to be working anyway. It is just making her sicker at this point. I really can not stand seeing my Mom like this. She looks so sick. It really hurts so bad to see someone else I love so much be so very sick. It has been almost a year now since Taylor left us and I am not ready to lose my Mom. However, I can not bare to see her suffer anymore. She told me this morning she felt like Taylor was calling her home now. I can not begin to comprehend the joy it would be to see Taylor. I know my Mom wants to be her with us but she also longs to be with Taylor. I do know that whatever happens Taylor will be looking over her Grandma continually as her Grandma did for her. When her time does come to leave this earth I know it will be such a wonderful reunion for Taylor and my Mom. I just wish somehow I could see them when they meet again. I would give anything to see Taylor again. Even if it was only for a minute. I can not begin to explain how much I miss her. I never thought it was possible to miss someone so much. I still think of Taylor continually every day. They say time will make it easier, but somehow I can't say I yet agree wiht that. I am not sure that I every will. We had such a special Mother and Daughter relationship. I am so thankful my Heavenly Father gave Taylor to me even if it was just for a short while. I do know that when we meet again it will be forever and we will be an eternal family. That is the one thing that truly brings joy to my heart. Please pray for my Mom that her pain will be eased and that if it is possible that we might find that miracle, but if not I do not wish to see my mom suffer anymore. Please pray for her to find the peace and strength she needs to face whatever lies ahead of her. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, July 30, 2004 10:20 PM CDT

Just a quick note to say hello. I really do love that little picture of Taylor she is so sweet too me. I have been having some bad days for a while now and I am trying hard to pull myself up again. It is just overwhelming living without Taylor. She was truly without a doubt my very best friend. I will always miss her so much, but will always be comforted knowing that I have a loving Heavenly Father who will someday allow us to be together again.

My Mom had to have more fluid drawn off this week. It has only been three weeks and they removed almost 10 pounds of fluid. We will find out on Tuesday if the chemo is working and if not I am not to sure what the plan is. She has not been feeling well at all but continues to fight with all her might. Please pray that she will have a miracle in her life soon and she can feel good again. She had her 70th birthday this past week and it was really nice. Please keep her in your prayers.

Love, Taylor Angel's Mom Neena

Tuesday, July 20, 2004 8:53 AM CDT

Hello again. I know it has been a while since my last update. I just find it harder each time I come here to update. I guess it brings back all of the many memories of Taylor both wonderful and the not so pleasant times for her. I miss her more with each day. I know that people say that time heals the wound, but unless you have loss a child I don't think you can ever quite understand the pain it brings. You see their little face in everything you do and you always long for them to be with you where ever you go, but most of all I long for the day to put my arms around her and let her know how much I love her and how much she has changed me and help me to become a better person. She is and will always be my hero. Oh how I miss my baby girl.

My Mom is doing ok. She has now had the second round of chemo on this treatment and we will find out in another week how she is doing. Please pray for her that it will be successful and work for her. She fights so hard and wants so much to be well and mostly she does it for her family. She wants to see all of us happy and know that we are doing ok. She has taught me so much also. She is forever giving of herself and always thinking of others even when she herself feels so bad. I hope that I can always be like my Mom and most of all I pray that she will have a miracle in her life she so deserves.

Please e-mail if you can. I really miss not hearing from you.

Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Thursday, July 8, 2004 9:13 PM CDT

Not a lot new to update. I still continue to struggle daily with the loss of Taylor in my life. I miss her so very much. Everything I find myself doing I always find myself wishing so much that Taylor could be here to enjoy things with me. I miss her so much. I miss the life we shared together as Mother and Daughter so very much. I just want to live my life so I will someday be worthy to be with her again. I know without a doubt Taylor is in a much better place and she will be so happy the day we are reunited. I also know that Taylor is happy and understands everything now and that she does not have any sorrow or pain anymore. I am so grateful for this knowledge in my life. Please pray that I can be strong and endure each day as I face them. Also, my Mom is not doing very well. She struggles everyday. She wants so much to live and be well. One of her Grandson's return home tomorrow from his mission. I am so thankful she will have the opportunity to see him return. Her other grandson will be home in September and I ask you to pray that she will have the opportunity to see him return also. Please pray for her that she will keep the strength and be able to see him also. Please e-mail if you can and once again thank you for all of the continued support. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, June 28, 2004 1:05 PM CDT

Hello, sorry it has taken so long to update. Things are going ok. My Mom did start another chemo last Thursday. Her doctor said it was all her choice for he feels their is not much chance of it working and he wanted it to be her decision. Overall she is not doing well. I am not sure if she will be able to tolerate the chemo. After having the surgery it really took a lot out of her. I just ask you to continue to pray for her. She has been fighting this for a long time. One of her grandson's will be home July the 9th and the other in September. She still fights to see them both return home from their missions. Please pray for her that this will happen. I am doing ok. I have been having problems with my stomach and indegestion. I had test done this morning and I am waiting for the results on those. I think all of the stress is really starting to catch up with me. The rest of the family is hanging in there too. We just miss Taylor so much. She was such a joy in our home. When Taylor was here we always were busy doing something. Most of the time it was good times and we all miss those times so much. I have so much I would like to say, but I need to go to my Mom's know. So please keep her in your prayers and please e-mail if you get a chance. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, June 8, 2004 8:59 PM CDT

Just wanted to update on my Mom. She got out of the hospital today after being there since Memorial Day Sunday. They were able to do the procedure I had told you about on my last update. She had to wait until Thursday to have it done so they had to remove fluid from her lungs on Tuesday just so she could breath. The surgery went well but they had to put a chest tube in and make a small cut in her back to put the scope through to look around. She is very sore and having a hard time moving around. She had to come home on oxygen but she does not have to use it continually. Hopefully, she will recover from this procedure and be able to start another chemo. Her body is very tired but she will not give up. She is such a fighter just like Taylor. I would have given up a long time ago. As for me the hospital experience and seeing my Mom like this has been very hard for me. It has brought back so many memories from Taylor. Mostly the ones I try not to think about. I have been gone from my family most of the time over the past week. However, they support me completely and do not complain about my absence. I think of all my boys have been through at such a young age theirself. They have had to face alot of sadness over the past few years. I am thankful for them and hope one day I can make up for some of the loss time. I know that they understand and that really helps me alot. Terry continues to be there and support me also and I really appreciate him too. It seems like my life will never be normal again. I wonder how so much sadness can come to one family in such a short period of time. However, I still know that my Heavenly Father loves me and one day I will be able to understand all that has happened. I long for the day to be able to put my arms around my little girl again and hear her say "Mommy I love You" I can't even begin to comprehend the joy I will feel. I miss her so much. As time goes on I miss her so much more in so many ways. All I can do is live my life each day and pray that I will have the strength to continue on. Most of all right now I pray that I will be able to help my Mom and be there for her every step of the way. Please continue to pray for her to get the strength back so she can continue to fight as she so desires. Please sign the guestbook if you get a chance I really miss hearing from you. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, May 30, 2004 9:23 PM CDT

I wanted to let you know how things were going for my Mom. Today she was admitted to the hospital. She had 3 liters of fluid drawn from her stomach on Friday. However, she was still having a lot of problems trying to breath. Last night it really got bad and this morning we had to take her to the hospital. The admitted her so they could do a procedure that would keep the fluid from getting around her lungs. They will have to put a chest tube in and remove the fluid and then put something in that sorta glues the lung walls to the chest preventing fluid to get around them. Of course we know that this is not a cure but just a comfort measure. We still have the problem of fluid building up in ther stomach. We will face that problem next. She has been very uncomfortable today and I think she has been scared more than anything. They have her on oxygen which does help. The really strange part about today was that 3 years ago on Memorial Day weekend on Sunday we were admitted to the hospital because Taylor was diagnosed with Leukemia. Of course we all had that on our minds today as we sat there with my Mom. It seems lately that Life can be pretty cruel. This is the fouth summer in a row now that we have had to face cancer and death as a reality for yet another family member. I do wonder when all of the sickness and heartache will end. Tonite as I went into my Mom's house to get something for her I could not hardly imagine her not being there anymore. I just don't know what I will do when something happens to her also. She promised me her and Taylor would look after me together and I know that they will. I once again ask of you to pray on her behalf to be able to somehow find a miracle and more than anything that she will not have to endure any great pain and suffer. I love my Mom, but do not want to see her scared our suffer anymore. It hurts so much to see someone you love so much to be so sick. I know that my little angels in Heaven (Taylor and Joshua) will be watching over her. Once again please keep her in your prayers and keep your faith strong. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, May 26, 2004 9:42 PM CDT

Sorry it has been so long for an update. I just find it hard to update without Taylor here with me. However, I did want to update and let you know how my Mom was doing. I know that Taylor would want me to continue to ask for prayers and your faith in her behalf. My Mom is having a very hard time now. Her type of cancer causes her to have a lot of fluid. She has to have it removed to keep her comfortable. It is very hard for her to sit or do anything with all of the fluid. It also makes it hard for her to breath. Oxygen will not help because the fluid is not in her lungs just all around it. She goes tomorrow to see the doctor and find out if he wants to continue this chemo. If he doesn't there is nothing else for him to offer. I have some Gleevec that Taylor had and they have been doing trials with this on her type of cancer. She will try this if he stops the chemo. He says it want help. I say we will try and see. Please pray for her that she can find that miracle in her life. She has been hoping to see her grandsons return off their missions with our church. One will be home in July the other in September. Please pray that she will have this miracle in her life. She has been a wonderful mother and grandmother. I love my Mom very much. Taylor and my Mom have always been my two best friends. I just want my Mom to be well and happy again. I use to tell Taylor that I loved her even more that my own Mama. Taylor would always tell me not to say that. She said I should love my mama just like her. Taylor was very protective of her grandma and I am sure without a doubt that Taylor is watching over her each day. I miss Taylor so much. I can not begin to tell you how empty my life is without her. As time passes the death part of grief seems to fade and now I just miss my little girl. Her smiles, laughs, her orders, all of her. She was my Sunshine. She was and will always be my Hero! Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Wednesday, May 26, 2004 9:42 PM CDT

Sunday, May 9, 2004 8:47 PM CDT

Hello! I know it has been a while since I last updated. I have been having some difficult times lately and have not felt much like doing anything. I have been missing Taylor so much lately. It seems with time I miss her more everyday. However, it is different now. I miss her so much more. Before I think it was so much the loss and death I was dealing with, but now I just miss Taylor and her sweet personality and all the things we used to do together. I long to hear her laugh again, to feel her arms around my neck, for her to kiss me and tell me how much she loves me, to hear her calling out for her brothers, and to see her sweet smile. I miss just so many things. Today being Mother's day has been difficult for me. I am so thankful to be a Mother. More than anything I am so thankful that I was Taylor's Mother for the time she had here on this earth. It was the greatest honor of my life. She taught me so many things about life and what is truly important. I do know that one day we will be reunited and we will get to enjoy one another again. I long for that day. I can not even begin to comprehend the joy I will feel. However, for now I have to live my life in a way so I will be worthy of this blessing. I love my boys here and I want to do all I can to help them and be there for them. I know they need me too. They have been strong and have had to face many things so early in there life and I am proud of them too. Today I am also thankful for my Mother. She has always been there for me. She has been a great example of what a Mother should truly be. I am so thankful she is my Mom. I just hope and pray that she can have the miracle in her life she so desires. She is still receiving chemo and hanging in there. She has not felt very well for sometime now. I just pray that she can get well and enjoy living again and be able to do the things she desires. Thank you again for all of the support and e-mails. It helps to hear from you and to know you are still out there.
Love, Angel Taylor's Mom

Sunday, April 18, 2004 9:00 PM CDT

Just a quick update tonight. I wanted to let you know that we are doing ok and that we continue to miss Taylor daily, but do our best to make her proud of us each day. My Mom recieved her chemo this past Thursday and we will know in a couple of weeks if it has been effective. Please continue to pray for her. Thank you for the e-mails this past week. I really appreciated hearing from you. I have a poem someone sent me and I would like to share it with you.

My Mom is a Survivor

-Dedicated to the mothers who have lost a child and have somehow survived-

My Mom is a Survivor,
or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night
when all others are in bed

I watch her lay awake at night
and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her
to help her understand.

But like the sands on the beach
That never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mom,
who thinks of me each day.

She wears a smile for others...
a smile of disguise!
But through Heaven's door I see
tears flowing from her eyes.

My mom tries to cope with death
to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows
it is her way to survive.

As I watch over my surviving mom
through Heaven's open door...
I try to tell her that angels
protect me forevermore.

I know that doesn't help her...
or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...
and show her that you care.

For no matter what she says...
no matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart
that time won't ever heal.

Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, April 11, 2004 8:45 PM CDT

Hope everyone had a nice Easter. It rained here most of the day. I think Taylor sent me the rain so it would not seem much like Easter. I have to say it did make the day better for me. However, this is one holiday I am thankful for. It is the one that gives us the hope. I try each day to be a better person. Taylor is truly my inspiration to do all I can to be worthy to return to my Heavenly Father and be reunited with her and Joshua. I continue to try to busy myself with whatever I can to help get through the days. I miss Taylor more than I ever thought was possible. She was such a fighter and never complained about anything that came her way. I try each day to have her attitude, but usually fall short ever. I will continue to work at having the same attitude she had while she had to endure so much here on this earth. I know she would not want me to every give up and she is by my side to continually push me forward. I am so thankful I was chosen to be her Mother. I will treasure every memory of her the rest of my life.

Also, my Mom continues to fight her cancer. She has her last treatment this week and then they will check her tumor marker in a couple of weeks to see if it is working. This chemo has been very tough on her. She has been tired a lot . Please continue to pray for her and have the faith that she will have the miracle that we all desire for her.

Thank you again for all of the support. If you get a minute sign the guestbook . It is still comforting to hear from you and helps me get through the day.. Hope you have a good week.

Love, Angel Taylor’s Mom Neena

Monday, April 5, 2004 9:46 PM CDT

Tonite I would like to just update with a poem I read. I really liked it and wanted to share it with you. I will try to update with some new pictures soon, but I wanted to put the little picture of Taylor's happy face from last year at Easter time on the front page. She had a smile that could steal your heart away. I miss her more than I could begin to tell you. I just pray continually that I will find the strength to move forward somehow. She was and is still my hero. Also, I would once again like to ask you to pray for my Mom as she too continues to struggle daily with her fight for life. Thank you again for all of the support.

Taylor, I wanted to tell you I miss you so. I do my best to be strong and not cry, but some days I just feel so weak. I love you baby girl and will forever miss you and long for the day we will be reunited again.

I HEAR EACH TEAR FALL ON HER FACE

My Mom doesn’t know I’m watching her
But I’m watching her just the same.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
At the very mention of my name.

She says it sounds like music to her ears
And can be heard over a crowd.
Oh, I hear each tear fall on her face
When my name is said aloud.

I watch her stumble through each day
As she wishes the day would end.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
As she talks to me to her friends.

But there are few who truly understand.
Oh this I’ve heard her proclaim.
And I hear each tear fall on her face.
Will my Mom ever be the same?

I know that her smiles light up a sky.
But I don’t see that smile today.
Oh, but I hear each tear fall on her face.
Her blue skies have turned to gray.

Oh I send to her my warmest hug
With the rays of the morning sun.
Then, I won’t hear a tear fall on her face.
For I shall erase them one by one.

Yes, my Mom doesn’t know I’m watching her.
But I’m watching her just the same.
And if I hear a tear fall on her face
I’ll just softly whisper her name!

Love, Taylor Angel's Mom, Neena

Monday, April 5, 2004 9:46 PM CDT

Thursday, March 25, 2004 8:39 PM CST

Just a quick update tonight to let you know I am still here. We have had a bad couple of weeks. My Mom has not been doing well. She has really been feeling bad. We also had to shave her hair off on Monday. My sister had to do it I just could not bring myself to do it this time. Her head reminds my family so much of Taylor. Tonight both Terry and Jonathan made the comment that they thought that was Taylor's little head sitting in the chair and started to kiss it. The good news for the day was my Mom was able to get her chemo again. We are still hopeful that she will be able to beat this and have the opportunity to see her grandson's return home from their missions soon. Please continue to pray for her and keep the faith strong that she will find that miracle in her life. Also, I have to say that the heartache we all feel for the loss of Taylor has not gotten a whole lot better lately. I thought I was making a little progress and then here lately I have been going back down the hill. I miss her sweet little smile so very much. I know life can never be the same without Taylor. I just have to keep trying to make the best of each day and live as I know she would want me too. With the warm weather and Spring in the air it makes it even harder. I can see Taylor out riding in her little Jeep and riding her bike. I look out the window at the empty little playhouse and my heart aches to see her again. I am truly not sure how I will continue on, but I will for Taylor and the rest of my family. I look forward to the day that we will be reunited. I can not even begin to imagine the joy we will have when our family is reunited again. I just know that I am going to live my life the best I can so I will not be denied this blessing. I just want you to know that Taylor was a blessing in my life and I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to be called her Mother here on this earth and that I know I will be her Mother again. I love you my little baby girl. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, March 14, 2004 8:47 PM CST

It has been six months now since I last held my little girl in my arms. Oh how I long to hold her again. My arms feel so empty as does my heart. Taylor was such a beautiful little girl. I miss her so very much. I am sorry if I sound so down, but I just miss her. I am so thankful that she does not suffer anymore and lives in a place where peace is all around. Where she is free from all sorrows and sickness of the world. Taylor has truly been blessed to be called home to her Father in Heaven. She was just to good for this world. Now all I have to do is remember what Taylor said and "Be Good" and then someday we will be together again as an Eternal Family. I will endure this somehow and I will make Taylor proud of the life I live. I owe my life to Taylor. She opened my eyes and tought me so much. I will do all I can to make her proud of me. There is nothing in this world more important than being with your family. Also, I want to be strong so I can help my Mom. She is really feeling bad. This chemo was very strong and she is very weak. She is really in need of all the prayers she can get. Please pray for her that she can somehow have the desire of her heart and see her Grandson's return off their missions. I know that the power of prayer and faith can work miracles. I saw it happen with Taylor time after time. Please pray for her that she will recieve the miracle she desires. Once again I would like to thank everyone for the support and kind words you send me. It means so much to me. I hope you have a good week. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, March 7, 2004 7:52 PM CST

Hello! Another week has come and gone. This week has not been a very good one. My Mom was told on Thursday that her chemo was not working. The doctor had one more thing to offer but only gave her a 10 percent chance of any success. She does not feel well at all. She is having a very hard time breathing due to all of the fluid. They are going to draw off the fluid around her lung again this week. She is really in need of prayers. We really need a miracle at this time. I am not ready to lose my Mom. I can not imagine losing any one else I love so much. I sometimes wonder if my life will ever be peaceful again. I am trying so hard to be strong and be there for my Mom, but it is so hard. I just want everyone to be well. I have been facing this awful disease of cancer for so long now. I just want it to all go away. Of course I still miss Taylor so much. However, I am trying to be strong and do what I think she would want me to do. I know she is happy and wants her family here to be happy. One day we will all be together again and we will be happy. I am so thankful to have this knowledge in my life. That is what keeps me going. Please keep in touch and most of all keep the prayers going for my Mom. Thanks again to all who continue to e-mail me. I really appreciate it so much. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom

Sunday, February 29, 2004 7:59 PM CST

Another month is drawing to an end. I can't hardly believe it is almost Spring and Taylor will not be here to enjoy it with us. I am still finding it hard to believe all of this is real. I truly try to think of where Taylor is and to be happy for her each day. I know she is happy and in a much better place, but my heart still aches and longs to be with her again. I truly do miss her more each and every passing day. She was truly my best friend. I miss all of the many things we shared together each day. I feel so lost most of the time without her, but somehow I am going to be the person I know she would want me to be. I am not going to let her down. I know Taylor would want me to be happy and move forward with my life. I also know she would want me to be strong and take care of her Daddy and Brothers. Also, she would want me to take care of her Grandma and help her all I can with her illness. I think of that often. I know Taylor would want me to help my Mom all I can and be there for her. Even though it is tough to move on without Taylor I know that is what I have to do. I ask each of you to pray that I can find the strength to do so. Also, please pray for my Mom that she can be blessed with a miracle in her life and be well again. Please e-mail if you can it really means a lot to me. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Sunday, February 22, 2004 8:33 PM CST

Well another week begins and I still seem lost without Taylor. I try to busy myself each day doing things, but at the end of the day I miss Taylor a little more it seems. It has been so long since I have heard her sweet voice call my name or to kiss her sweet little check. I sure do miss her so much. I would do anything to have Taylor back and well. I still wonder how I will carry on with out Taylor in my life. Terry and the boys all miss Taylor very much too. It is hard for all of us. Somehow together we will survive and we will do it for Taylor. We know she would want us to be happy and most of all in her words "be good". I am so thankful for the knowledge of "Eternal Families" in my life. I could not survive without this. However, I do know our family will all be together again someday. My Mom is having a hard time right now. She went to the doctor this past week and the site where they went in to take off the fluid is infected. The doctor put her on some antibiotic. She has not been doing very well emotionally or physically. She tries so hard to keep herself together for all of us. However, I know she is very tired and really needs her families support now. I ask all of you to pray for her so she can gain the strength again and get past this point and have good days again. Please e-mail if you can. I really look forward to hearing from you. Thank you again for all of the support and prayers for our family. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom, Neena

Sunday, February 15, 2004 10:28 PM CST

Just a quick note to let you know how we are doing. It is snowing here again. Once again I hope it will pass soon and the warm weather and sun will return again. Today was another eventful day for our family. Today in church Jonathan had a reaction to some new medicine they had put him on for the headaches he has been having. Of course, I freaked out and thought he was going to die right there. I guess my emotional level is not very stable at this time. We had to take him to the emergency room and after a little time there he was released. We will be calling his doctor in the morning to see what changes need to be made with his medicine. I guess today's experience shows me how much my children here still need me. I have been trying to be there for them, but it is tough with the loss of Taylor to move forward. I am truly doing my best. I know that Taylor would want me to do all I could to take care of her brothers and I am going to do my best. Of course, we still struggle daily without Taylor here. I know that we will always miss Taylor and I would not want it any other way. I just hope the pain becomes a little less intense as time passes by. My Mom went to the doctor Thursday and Friday they sent her to the hospital to have more fluid removed from her stomach. They actually removed 4 liters. I am not completely sure what all of this means, but the chemo should be drying up the fluid. We will see the doctor next week hopefully. She is very depressed and does not feel well at all. She is afraid that she is at the end. Please pray for her to continue to be strong and fight so she can have the desires of her heart. I want to thank everyone who e-mails. It really does help more than you will ever know. Please keep my Mom and Jonathan also in your prayers and I will update again soon. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom

Monday, February 9, 2004 8:26 PM CST

Hello! I am sorry about not updating much. I just don't really know what to say anymore. The only thing that constantly comes to my mind is how much we all miss Taylor. Our home is so different without her. We all seem to be struggling with moving on without Taylor. I wish there was some magical trick I could think of that would bring her back, but I know that there is not and that is what hurts so much. I have being having an especially hard time the last couple of weeks. I guess the reality of it all just gets stronger everyday. I miss her more everyday also. I miss the sound of her voice, the way she would constantly call for me and want me to be by her side, the times she would tell me how much she loved me and kiss me. I really don't know how I will ever get use to a life without her. I just ask for all of your prayers to help our family to find the comfort that will help us to each find some kind of happiness in our lives again. I know that we will always miss Taylor, but I do feel deep down in my heart that My Heavenly Father wants me to be happy. I do not understand why any of this had to happen, but I know one day it will all make sense and I truly long for that day. Also, my Mom seems to be getting fluid again. We can't be sure but she feels she is. Of course, the only reason the fluid would be coming back is because the chemo is not working hard enough. Please pray that she will find the strength and be granted with a miracle. She has been there for me and I love her and can't begin to imagine a life without her also. I just don't think I could deal with that right now. Please take the time to e-mail me. I could really use the support. Thanks again for all of your prayers and support for our family. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom

Saturday, January 31, 2004 9:23 PM CST

I have finally updated with a few new pictures. I can tell you it was done with the shedding of many tears. When I get to looking at Taylor's pictures it just rips my heart open. I have really not done so well this week. Somedays you think you have a grip on things and that you are slowly making some progres and then the next thing it hits you so hard. Tuesday I just starting missing Taylor so bad. I was already missing her, but I guess I was coping with the situation. Then all of a sudden it seems I have lost all control of my feelings again. I guess this is just the way it is. The truth is I hate it. It is an awful way to have to live a life. Especially one that seemed so perfect. My family, my home, it was all just the way I dreamed of then without any warning my whole life was changed without any options. I really understand alot of things and I know someday this will all make sense. I just wish we could get a little bit of the why's answered now. I am sorry to be so down tonight, but that is just were I am this week. Please pray that I can regain some strength and be able to get control of my feelings and move a few steps forward again. I am fully aware this is a process that I will work on the rest of my life. I just hope that I can hanle it with the courage and strength Taylor would expect of me as her mother. Please e-mail when you can. It really does help and believe me I need all of the support I can get. Also, continue the prayers for my Mom. She has 4 more rounds of chemo and then we will check her count again. Please pray for the best. Love, Angel Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, January 25, 2004 8:56 PM CST

It is snowing here tonight. I don't like the snow too much. It is just another thing that makes me wish Taylor was here to enjoy. As we went out tonight to go to Grandma's house as we always do on Sunday evenings, Layne got mad at Jonathan because he had messed the snow up in the front yard. He said that Taylor and him did not like to mess the snow up until it was done. This just reminded me again how much we all think of Taylor and miss her in our own very special way. We do all still miss her very much, however we still try each and every day to move forward and work hard at living a life that she would be proud of. I am so thankful she was and still is a part of our family. I would not trade the time we had with Taylor for anything in the world. We were blessed more than one can imagine having her here with us and being a part of our eternal family. One day we will be reunited and as much as I long for the day I know that we must live each and every day to the best of our ability so we will be ready. Tonight I also want to mention my other little angel Joshua. It seems I leave him out, but I am so grateful for him and to have him there with his sister. I know that Taylor enjoys him so much . She truly loved her brothers and I know that she loves being with Joshua too. Joshua would have been 16 tomorrow. I know that Taylor will take care of him and make sure it is celebrated in a very special way. Please know that I am also grateful for the e-mails and the continued support. It really helps me more that you could every know. Also, continue to pray for my Mom that she may find that miracle in her life. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, January 18, 2004 8:31 PM CST

Another day without Taylor is coming to an end. Sometimes I am not sure how I will make it to the next day. I have to say some days are much worst than others. Today has been one of the bad ones. I just miss my little girl so much. I still can't believe all of this is real. I look at her cute pictures that are around my computer and my heart just aches to hold her and to hear her voice again. I do know that Taylor is happy and in a better place, but my heart just wants her to be here. We shared so many things together and I miss all of it. The love we had for each other was real and special. I just miss her. Sorry to be so negative tonight, but I just needed to let the way I was feeling out somehow and tonight this seemed like the best place. Please continue to pray for our family and that somehow we can move forward and be the family Taylor would want us to be. I want her to be proud of me and know that I love her. Please e-mail if you have the chance it really helps to hear from you. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, January 14, 2004 8:23 PM CST

Still hanging in there. Today it has been four months since our sweet little angel left our home. I still can't believe all of this is real most of the time. It is so hard to comprehend after all Taylor went through she is not here with us. I think back to last year at this time. Everything seemed so perfect. Taylor had grown back 100 percent donor cells and we just knew we had finally got the ultimate miracle we had been praying for. I truly can not believe how quickly things can change. I know that Taylor did receive the miracle of her life when she was called home to her Father in Heaven. To live free of pain and sorrow. It is just for those left behind that the pain is so great. I am so greatful for the knowledge I have of where Taylor is and what she has obtained "Eternal life" and one day we will be reunited. I just pray for the strength to be able to endure the days that separate us and live a life worthy of being reunited with both Taylor and Joshua. I also pray that all of my family will live worthy of the same. One day we will be an Eternal Family. Layne and Jonathan have both started back to Tidewater Community College and Tyler is still hanging in there as a Freshman. Terry has been fortunate enough to be home alot which really helps me get through the day. Please know that I am continually gratefull to those of you who continue to check on us and e-mail me. Also, my Mom will go again tomorrow for her clinic visit and hopefully another round of chemo. Please continue to pray for her. I will update again soon and hopefull change the pictures also. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, January 8, 2004 10:30 PM CST

Hello everyone! I have been sorta slow with the updates. My heart just is not into updating too much without Taylor being a part of it. I sure do miss her. I just live my life one day at a time and hopefully I will learn how to adjust somehow. I know that the love I have for Taylor and the special bond can never be replaced and would not want to replace it, just wish it did not have to be so hard without her. She truly was the "Sunshine of My Life". Everyone here at the Hancock house continues to carry on despite the whole in our heart for Taylor. The positive thing in our life is the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the knowledge we have as eternal families. Knowing that someday I will be with Taylor and Joshua again is what gives me the strength to carry on. I will strive each day to better my life and do everything in my power to grow closer to them and my Father in Heaven to help my family be worthy of eternal life together.

On a positive note, my Mom went to the doctor today for her report on her tumor marker. This lets us know if the chemo is working. Before she started the latest round of chemo about 10 weeks ago her marker had gone up to 8000 which was the highest it has ever been. Today the first time since Aug 2002 her marker had dropped instead of going up. It was 2011. This is still high considering it should only be 35 or below, but this is truly a miracle for us today. It has been good for all of us to recieve such good news in spite of all the bad we have had to endure lately. My Mom recieved more chemo today and will have 8 more weeks before they do another tumor marker. She is very tired from all of the chemo, but today has been a good day for her spirits. I of course think Taylor pulled a few strings on the other side for her Grandmother. I know she would love to have her with her, but she probably would like to see her stick around a little longer and be here for all of us. I am very thankful for this good report today and ask each of you to continue to pray for her.

Thank you again for all of the support and PLEASE if you get a chance e-mail me. I really enjoy hearing from each of you. I will try to change the pictures soon, but it is really hard for me to look at Taylor's pictures to much right now. It just hurts too much. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

January 2, 2004

January 2, 2004

We Walked Together

We walked together, you and I,
A Mother & her Daughter
We had hopes & Dreams for tomorrow,
But Tomorrow didn't come.
We walked together, you and I,
We Talked, We Laughed, We Loved,
We shared so many happy times,
And for that, I thank the Lord above.
We walked together, you and I,
But only for a short time.
For all too soon it ended,
Leaving pieces of a broken heart behind.
And even though I miss you,
More then words could ever say,
I thank God that I got to walk with you,
Every precious moment of every day.....

Author Unknown

December 31, 2003

I guess the year is almost over. I will have to say it has been the toughest yet in my life. I would have never imagined the year would end this way. Last New Year's Taylor was a living Miracle and now she is no longer with us. However, she does still live. She is more alive now than ever. She is in Heaven with many members of her family and she no longer suffers the pains of her disease and lives her life to the fullest. I know she is truly happy. Most of all I know we will be reunited again someday and it is with this knowledge that I will somehow survive. I do not know how I will, but I will for Taylor. Please know that I am thankful for each of you. If you get a chance please e-mail me. I really do appreciate all of the e-mails and it does help me more that you would ever know. Also, remember my Mom in your prayers. She continues to fight her battle also. It is tough and she is very tired, but she keeps going in spite of everything. I am so thankful she is my Mom and I love her dearly. I hope all of you have a Happy New Year. I do not know what this year will hold for me and my family, but I do pray that we will come closer together and be the family that Taylor would want us to be.

Taylor I want you to know that this New Year will not be the same without you. We all miss you very much. Our home is so empty without your sweet smile and love you showed to each of us. However, we do know that your sweet little spirit is here with us. We love you and miss you very much. Love, Mommy

Thursday, December 25, 2003 12:03 AM CST

I just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. We are just hanging in there and that is about it. We miss Taylor so very much this holiday season. I love all of my family and we will make it through together, but for all of us Christmas will never be the same.

Taylor I know you are looking down on us today and trying your very best to comfort us anyway you can. We know that your little sweet spirit along with you brothers Joshua are truly Angels Amongs Us this day. We love you both and long for the day we can once again be together as a family and we know when we all are reunited again it will be forever. Mama, Daddy, Layne, Jonathan and Tyler (Lady too) all send our wishes of a very Merry Christmas your way and want you to know we love you and miss you with all our hearts and of course Joshua too. Please send an extra pray this way for Grandma that she can have a miracle and be strong again. Watch over her as you always did. We love you little sweet Angel. Love, Mama, Daddy, Layne, Jonathan and Tyler

Thursday, December 18, 2003 6:59 PM CST

Hello everyone. I just wanted to let you know we are still hanging in there. It is tough to watch everyone get ready for the holidays. I just can't wait until they are over. Not a good attitude I guess, but unfortunately, it is just the way I feel. Taylor like any little child loved Christmas. It was always Layne, Taylor and me who would do the decorating. This year our heart was not into it without Taylor. Taylor also loved to help me make the cookies and candy. I guess this year we want have to worry about adding on the extra pounds due to all of the sweets because there will not be any. I miss her so very much. I still can not imagine my life without her. Although I know she is not coming back, somehow it is just still too unreal to accept. Today we went to the temple again and of course on the way home I am always thinking about getting home to see Taylor and of course it hits hard and I have to tell myself she is not there. I do however know that Taylor is happy. That we will be reunited again one day. I know that we will be an eternal family one day and I am so thankful for this knowledge. It is just my heart that is having a hard time. I will continue to take my life day by day and sometimes hour by hour and I will do the things necessary for me to be the person I know that Taylor would want me to be. I want her to be proud of me. I want to be strong and have the same courage she had. She truly was a wonderful example of a Child of God. She cared for everyone and loved her family more than I can begin to tell you. I know that she is watching over us and protecting us in any way she can. I truly am thankful for the time we had here on this earth together and look forward to spending an eternity with my sweet little girl. I love you Taylor and miss you.

In addition, my Mom was able to get her chemo again yesterday. She also had to have fluid removed from her stomach today. They removed 3 liters. I hope that this will make her a little more comfortable for the holidays. She is trying so hard to make the holidays perfect for all of her family no matter how she feels. Please continue to pray for her to have a miracle in her life and that she will begin to feel better and be able to enjoy herself again

Thank you again for the support and the e-mails. I really appreciate all you do. If I don't update again before Christmas I hope you have a very happy holiday. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, December 14, 2003 3:37 PM CST

New Pictures! Well today marks 3 months since our little girl left us to go to her Heavenly home. I know without a doubt she is happy there and looks upon us each and everyday. I just miss her so much. My life has changed forever without Taylor. I am a better person for the things she taught me, but my heart will have a hole no one will ever be able to fill. I am sorry I have not been able to write much lately, but I just can't seem to get my thoughts together lately. I am so grateful for Taylor and the love I have for her. I will live each day of my life to become a better person so I can one day be reunited with her. I will continue to update, but just know that it is really hard now during the holiday season and I am doing the best I can. Also, please don't forget my Mom. She is not doing well at all. Once again she is thinking of others before her self and trying to make the Christmas right for her other grandchildren no matter how she feels. Please pray that she will have the strength to get through and the chemo will begin to reduce the cancer again. Please e-mail me if you can. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, December 11, 2003 10:20 PM CST

Tonight my heart is full. I miss Taylor so very much. I really don't have the strength to write much tonight. I just want to let everyone know how much I love and miss my little girl. She was the joy of my life. I wanted to share this poem with you that someone had shared with me. I will update again, but for now please e-mail when you can and know that I am still out here and appreciate all the prayers and concerns you still show our family. Also, please continue to pray for my Mom. She is having a rough time. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
with tiny lights, like heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear
for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people love so dear.
But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me. I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away. We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, loved ones. You know I hold you near.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I send you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
I send you each a memory of my unending love.
After all, love is a gift, more precious than pure gold.
It is always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and hold each other, as my Father said to do.
And count it as a blessing, the love He has for you.
So, have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear.
Remember, I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

Friday, December 5, 2003 7:10 AM CST

Happy Birthday my Sweet Little Angel!!

I sure wish you were here so I could give you a great big Birthday kiss. I sure miss you. I never thought I would be spending any of your Birthday’s away from you. I can’t believe you are not here. I have missed you so much since you left us to go to your new home in heaven. I am sure you will have a big Birthday celebration there tomorrow. I know it will be with people who love you just as much as we do and for that I am thankful. I have been trying so hard to be brave like you and to be strong and have the courage you had since you have been gone. It sure is a hard job. You were such a brave little girl. I am so thankful that I was able to be your Mom while you were here on the earth. It was an honor and I will always cherish every moment we had together. I know that someday we will be together again and for that knowledge I am so thankful. Tomorrow we are going to the clinic at CHKD to bring gifts for the children to use at the clinic while they receive their treatments. We have so many wonderful things. We had our first Sunny Day Project and thanks to so many wonderful people it was a great success. So many children will benefit from this. I know you remember all of the days you spent in the clinic and how long they could be. We are going tomorrow on your Birthday to try to make each child’s visit to the clinic a little more enjoyable. I know that you would be proud of us. I just want to tell you again that I love you more than anything. Your Daddy sure does miss you and love you very much too. All of your brothers miss you a bunch too. I know they miss you being her and watching all of those movies with them. We all love you very much and want you to know that we are working hard each day to become like you so we can return to live with you and Joshua again someday. Thank you so much for the perfect example you set for us. You will be our source and strength to bring us all back home to our Father in Heaven someday. I can’t wait for the day we once again are reunited and I can put my arms around your neck and give you a big kiss and tell you just how much I love you. Happy Birthday my little Angel. Love, Mama

Thursday, November 27, 2003 3:17 PM CST

Happy Thanksgiving! What am I thankful for this day? First, I am thankful for my sweet little angel Taylor Nicole Hancock and the wonderful six years and 9 months that I shared with her. I can truly say my life was blessed in a most positive way. Taylor taught me so much in her short but sweet life. I will always cherish every moment with her. I am also thankful for the knowledge I have of a loving Father in Heaven who cares for each of us. I know over the past few years I may have questioned Him, but I know he loves us and makes the best choice for each and everyone of us personally. I know that Taylor now dwells in his presence along with her loving brother Joshua, her grandfathers and many other members of our family. I know that Taylor has been awarded the greatest gift possible, Eternal Life. She is aware of us and longs for the day we will be together again. I know she is free of pain and sorrows of this world. She moves about full of life and is busily engaged in the Lords work. I am so grateful for this knowledge. I still long for the day we will be reunited and miss Taylor so much it is unbearable to me most of the time. However, without this knowledge I do not know how I would exist. I am also thankful for my other family members. I love my husband and each one of my boys. They all mean so much to me. I know it has been hard for them to watch me grieve Taylor so very much. I just pray that I will find the strength within me and once again be the wife and mother they deserve. They all miss Taylor so much. Our house is just so empty without her. However, she is our source and strength to give us the fight and desire to live our lives in a way that will also gain each and everyone of us Eternal Life. I know that Families can be Together Forever and for this knowledge I am ever grateful.

In addition, this day I am so very thankful for a loving Mother. She means so very much to me. She has been the best example of a Mother that is humanly possible. She has put herself before others always. She has suffered so much the past two years, but not for one moment did she ever put her self first. She has been there for me and especially Taylor every step of the way. I pray each day that she will be blessed with a miracle and that her cancer will begin to shrink and she will be granted the time on earth she so deserves. To have the opportunity to see Chad and Needham return home off their missions safe. Please pray for her and keep the faith strong that this miracle will happen.

Last, I am so thankful for each one of you. Who have been there for me and supported me in so many different ways throughout all of this. I can never thank you enough for the kindness you have shown us. To so many of you who never knew our family personally and gave us so much support. For all of the prayers that have been offered. I do know that Taylor's life was extended here on this earth last November when she was given just 4 weeks to live. She lived almost another year after that. I know it was the great power of prayer and faith of each and everyone of you who that enabled this miracle to happen. Please continue to e-mail when you can because it means so much to me and it helps me face each day. Thank you.

Taylor I want you to know that I love you. You mean everything to me. I am so honored to be your mother. When you look down from heaven, I am so proud that you point at me and say that is my Mom. I will always strive to be the person that would make you proud. I love you and miss you so very much. I sure wish I could have seen you eating some turkey and gravy today because I know how much you would have loved it. Grandma even let Lady come over and eat turkey. You know she did that just because she loved you so much. I love you my sweet little Angel.

Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, November 20, 2003 9:13 PM CST

Hello everyone. Still hanging in there. I had a busy day. I got up at 5:15am and went to the temple. It takes us about 3 1/2 hours to get there. Once again it was great being there and feeling the peace that comes in the House of the Lord. I am so grateful that I have had the opportunity to go so often. It is a very peaceful place full of love and somehow it just helps me get my mind to focus on what is important. I still miss my little angel so very much. I know she is near me, but oh how I long to hold her in my arms and kiss her little check and most of all I would give anything to hear her say "Mama, I Love You." My heart aches for her so much I can't begin to explain it. I just have to keep going and be the example she would want me to be. I have to find the courage she had and stand tall and somehow learn how to hold the memories of her close to my heart and live again. I know that is what Taylor would want me to do. Please pray that I can do this and not let her down. I know she is watching me and looking at me as her Mother. I know I have already said this but oh how I miss my little sweet girl. Please continue to support me and help me find the strength I need. Especially with the holidays and Taylor's 7 birthday all approaching so quickly. She loved anytime that brought all of our families together. I know she will be there with us in spirit this year. Also, today on the way home from the Temple in D.C. we stopped by Richmond and I saw a social worker who works for LDS Family Services. I also saw him last week in Newport News. He is really helping me alot. I have learned so much from him already. I am so thankful for the opportunity to have someone to talk to like him.

Now about my Mom. She was not able to get her chemo this week. Her counts were to low. She is not feeling very well either. Right now we do not know if the chemo is working or not. It still could be a few weeks before we know. Please continue to pray for her to have the strength to get the chemo she needs. She wants to have the opportunity to be here in September to see her two grandsons who are serving missions return home. I do know with the power of pray and faith miracles do happen. Also, pray that she will begin to feel better and be able to live a life worth living.

Just a quick update on the T-shirt sales. I know that we sold over 500. We will be taking a second order because so many people are still wanting them. I would like to thank everyone who purchased a t-shirt. It really means alot to me. I am so thankful to be able to do something like this in Memory of Taylor. I know she would be proud.

I will update again soon. Please e-mail if you can I really apprecaite it more than you will ever know. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, 18th of November 2003

Not a new update tonight I just wanted you to take time to listen to this song it really touched my heart. I am sure most of you have heard it before, but I just happen to hear it the other night and it was as if Taylor had sent it to me herself.

Friday, 14th of November 2003

New Pictures! Hello everyone. Today it has been 2 months since my little angel left my side. As time goes on I miss her even more. Taylor was such a wonderful little girl. She was the sunshine in our home. We all miss her so much. Our home is just so empty without her. I try to be positive and know that her spirit is continually watching over us at all times. I know without a doubt that Taylor is in our home watching us and caring for us in whatever way she can. I am sure that she is continually doing all she can to ensure that each and everyone of us are on the right track to return to our heavenly home to be with her again someday. Of course, for me I wish that could happen real soon. Unfortunately, as in any trial we have to learn certain things and I know that patience is one thing I will have to work on continually. I miss her sweet little smile and the kisses she so often gave me more than one can begin to imagine. I am so thankful for the knowledge of eternal families I have been blessed with. Today me and Terry went to the Temple in Washington DC. I am sure most of you know by now that we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons). For us there is no closer place on earth to heaven than being in the House of The Lord (Temple). Today me and Terry chose to be there to bring us as close to Taylor and Joshua as we could possibly be. We have been to the temple once a week now for the past 5 weeks. I feel so close to Taylor and Joshua when I am there. I am so thankful to be able to go there and somehow let all of my earthly cares go from my mind and solely think of Taylor and Joshua and their present state of happiness. However, no matter what I do seems to completely rid me of the heartache that I feel so strongly. As I have said in the past I do not ever want to find a time in my life where Taylor is not always present in my heart, but do hope someday the pain will grow less and I will be able to prepare myself to be reunited with Taylor again. I love my little girl. She will forever be in my heart. I just continue to pray for the strength to carry on and be the mother she would be proud of. I love you Taylor and miss you very much. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

P.S. My Mom continues her battle with cancer also. She received chemo again this past Wednesday. Her counts were to low, but she told them she would like to get the chemo anyway. She is tired and out of breath most of the time, but continues to fight hard to beat this battle. I ask for your support and prayers so she will be provided with the miracle she desires.
Please e-mail when you can I could really use the support

Sunday, November 9, 2003 5:39 PM CST

I would like to thank everyone who purchased a shirt for the Sunny Day Project. I think the total shirts sales were around 530. I could not believe the response we had. I am so
grateful to everyone for helping us honor Taylor in this way. The gifts we will be able to purchase for the clinic will be greatly appreciated by so many children. I know that Taylor
would be proud of us. Shirts should be in around the 17th of November and hopefully delivered by Thanksgiving.

I continue to take my life day by day. It is tough, but I continue to try to stay strong and have the courage Taylor would want me to have. Most of the time I don’t feel I can make it another day without her, but I know I have no other choice. I try to think about Taylor and the happiness she now enjoys. I know she is happy. I know we will be together again. I know all of these things without a doubt, but I am human and my heart hurts so much. I try to focus on her well being and keep hoping that will bring me the peace I need so much. I am so thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know without a doubt we are
an eternal family and nothing can change that. I just keep praying that somehow I can find some peace of heart and learn how to live again. I don’t ever expect to not miss Taylor. I
would be sadder if I didn’t miss her. I just wish the miss would not hurt so much. The love I had for Taylor was so very great. She was truly an angel sent to our home to help us and teach us to become better people. I am so grateful for her. I owe it to her to have the courage to carry on. Please continue to send me e-mails and keep praying for our family. I really appreciate all you do. I know some of you say you just don’t know what
to say, but just knowing you are there and care helps more than you would ever know. Also, please continue to pray for my Mom. She is on her last chemo now. She needs a miracle in her life also. Please pray for her that she will be granted the time on this earth to see her two grandsons who are currently serving missions return home. Please keep in touch and know that I am so grateful for all of you. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Thursday, November 6, 2003 11:27 PM CST

A quick note tonight. It is almost 1pm and I need to go to bed. I have really been having some bad days and nights lately. Someday I know things have to get a little better somewhere down the road. It just seems right now that it is impossible. With the upcoming holiday season I am not sure how I will cope. I miss Taylor so very much. I continue to try to be strong, but just can't seem to be strong enough. I do have great faith and still know that Taylor is happy. The problem is that I just miss her so much. Please pray for me to somehow find the strength to live again. I know that Taylor would not want me to be so consumed with grief. I want to be the person she would want me to be. Please send me some e-mails for I could really use some support. Thank you all for your kindness and the many things you have done for our family. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, November 1, 2003 10:40 PM CST

Hello! The Sunny Day Project is about to come to an end. We will be ending everything up no later than Tuesday. So if you have any last minute orders please get them in. The info will remain at the bottom of the page until then. I really appreciate all of the support. I think it is going to be a very big success. We will most likely end up with around 450 t-shirts sold. Taylor would be proud of us. Thank you so very much for making this a success for us.

Just a quick note tonight. I am still struggling. I continue to have the faith and knowledge of exactly where and what Taylor is doing. I am so thankful for her. I read the other day the only difference between the old and young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory than the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Another thing I read that does bring me comfort also is, The Lord takes many away, even at a very early age, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again.

I continually try to think of these things and somehow have peace and comfort in my heart. It helps but it is still very hard. They say we would not grieve if we had not loved. I guess I must have loved Taylor Nicole Hancock more than any one could ever imagine. The grief I feel is so very intense. She was my sweet little girl. We had shared so much together. I try to remember all of those good times we had. The many days we would play together for endless hours, talk with each other about everything, watch movies together, and best of all the times we would just lay there together and snuggle with each other. I would not trade the six years and 9 months with Taylor for a full lifetime with any other little girl. She touched my heart and turned me into a better person. I just hope I can always honor her name and make her proud of me.

Taylor’s life her on this earth was brief, and one could say her death was a useless, meaningless tragedy. I believe with all my heart that her life here was a mission to teach us great truths, a sacred trust for us to cherish and share with others. I will forever miss my little girl. I know my heart will ache for her forever. I just pray continually that I will find the courage she had and somehow learn to live again and become the person Taylor would want me to be. I want her to be proud of me.

Also, tonight I would like to ask again for each of you to pray for my Mom. Her doctor finally put her on the last chemo they have to offer. She had 1 and a half liters of fluid removed from behind her right lung last Tuesday. This procedure is very dangerous and should only be done when desperately needed. We are hopeful this chemo will begin to dry up some of the fluid. The doctor however, does not have the greatest outlook. My Mother so much wants to live to see her two grandsons who remain on a mission for our church return. They will not be home until this coming August and September. I ask all of you to continue to pray for her to have this time. I know it is the Lords will, but I do believe he will listen to the prayers of the faithful and miracles can still happen. Please e-mail me if you can it really helps me a lot. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Sunny Day Project!
We are having a fundraiser in memory of Taylor. We will be selling T-shirts to raise money to buy gifts for the clinic at CHKD. This is the hospital were Taylor spent many hours playing while she received various types of treatments. The above design is what will be on the front of the shirt. We based the design on things that reminded us of Taylor. As many of you know, Taylor always loved to sing You are My Sunshine to her Grandma. We have, therefore, named this the Sunny Day Project. Also, the playhouse is a duplicate of the one that was built for her by Charlie Anderson, a local builder. The address 1205 Taylor Lane is her birth date, December 5th. Your support will be greatly appreciated as we try to keep Taylor’s memory alive and hopefully provide sunny days for those children who will benefit from the proceeds.

The shirts will all be $10. They will be available in Children’s Small (6-8), Medium (10-12), and Large (14-16). Adult sizes will range from Small to 3X. We would like to have all orders and money in by 10/31/03. You can send the orders to me and shipping will be free.

Address:

Neena Hancock
4932 Briarwood Lane
Portsmouth, VA 2370

Monday, October 27, 2003 10:44 PM CST

I would like to thank everyone again for supporting the Sunndy Day Project. Friday will be the last day. I think this project will be successful and hopefully bring a little sunshine to the children at the clinic. I continue to go hour by hour with my life. I am having such a hard time. I am trying so hard to move forward, but not with much success at this time. I miss Taylor so very much. She was my sweet little girl. I cherish every memory I ever had with her. I think about Taylor every minute of the day. Everything I do reminds me of her in some way. I know how much Taylor would not want me crying all of the time. I try hard not to, but the tears just seem to keep coming. I do believe Taylor is happy and in a much better place. I do not doubt for one minute that we will be together again someday and this time it will be forever with no sickness or sorrow. Oh how I long for the day. I also know it is not my time now and I have a family here that needs me and somehow I need to take care of them and be a wife and mother again. I just pray daily for the strength and hope it comes soon. With Halloween coming this week I think of Taylor and just the weeks before she passed away how each night we lie in bed looking at the Disney Custome Magazine. Taylor had big plans of being the Wicked Stepmother. I found that magazine just the other day. How I wish we could get in the bed together tonite and turn the pages together and listen to her as she would tell me every detail about her Halloween plans. I miss her so much. Of course, then around the corner we have Thanksgiving, Taylor's 7th Birthday, and of course Christmas. I am not sure how I will deal with the holidays this year. Taylor loved them all so much. The main reason she loved them was because Taylor loved being with her family more than anything in the world. There was nothing more important to her. I know she will be here in spirit this year looking over each and everyone of us. Also, this year as we approach the first of many holidays to come without Taylor, we also are faced with the possiblity of this being the last with my sweet Mother. How does one begin to cope with this. I have spent all but two Christmas with my Mother and of course the last 6 with Taylor. I really don't know what I will do this year. Last week I told you that my Mom was going to have fluid removed to help her breath better. Unfortunately, due to her doctor's office mess up she was unable to get it done. She is going tomorrow in the morning. I pray that it will bring her the relief she needs. She is also taking the chemo again and I pray that it will help her. I know she could still have a miracle and I do still believe in them. Please pray for her that she will be made well. Thanks again for the continued support and if you get a chance I really do appreciate any words of encouragement that you might have. Also, as I know that I sound so very down, I do know without a doubt that my Father in Heaven loves me and wants me to be happy. I just miss my little girl. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunny Day Project!
We are having a fundraiser in memory of Taylor. We will be selling T-shirts to raise money to buy gifts for the clinic at CHKD. This is the hospital were Taylor spent many hours playing while she received various types of treatments. The above design is what will be on the front of the shirt. We based the design on things that reminded us of Taylor. As many of you know, Taylor always loved to sing You are My Sunshine to her Grandma. We have, therefore, named this the Sunny Day Project. Also, the playhouse is a duplicate of the one that was built for her by Charlie Anderson, a local builder. The address 1205 Taylor Lane is her birth date, December 5th. Your support will be greatly appreciated as we try to keep Taylor’s memory alive and hopefully provide sunny days for those children who will benefit from the proceeds.

The shirts will all be $10. They will be available in Children’s Small (6-8), Medium (10-12), and Large (14-16). Adult sizes will range from Small to 3X. We would like to have all orders and money in by 10/31/03. You can send the orders to me and shipping will be free.

Address:

Neena Hancock
4932 Briarwood Lane
Portsmouth, VA 2370

Thursday, October 23, 2003 7:28 PM CDT

New Pictures

Hello again. The T-shirt info is still at the bottom. We will be ending sales next Friday. Thank you so much for all of the support. I think the Sunny Day Project is going to be a real success this year. I am still trying to hang in there. I really miss Taylor so much. Sometimes I feel like if I don’t somehow see Taylor I am just going to die. I still have the faith and know that Taylor is happy and we will be together again, but somehow even this knowledge just doesn’t heal the broken heart. Taylor was so sweet and special. She was such a joy to be around. She always kept me moving and always knew exactly what to say to make me happy. I love her so very much. I just can’t believe I will have to live a life without her. All of the dreams we had talked about the plans we had for when I grew old and how she would take care of me and she was going to let me order her around then. I was so looking forward to that. I do have so many beautiful memories and I will always cherish them. Taylor was such a wonderful little girl and her love towards others was truly awesome. She truly taught me how to be a better person. I will continue to try my best to be strong and have the courage I need, but I will have to say it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Also, my Mom went to the doctor on Wednesday and she was able to start her chemo again. The bad thing is the fluid from the cancer is so built up that it is causing her to have a hard time to breathe. Tomorrow morning she will go and have some of the fluid drained behind her lungs to make things easier for her. I am sure if Taylor can pull any strings in heaven she will do her best to see that her Grandma will get to hang around here for awhile. I truly don’t think I could handle anything happening to her right now. Please continue to pray for her and the rest of us. Thank you so much for all of the e-mails. I really needed the support and still do. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Sunny Day Project!
We are having a fundraiser in memory of Taylor. We will be selling T-shirts to raise money to buy gifts for the clinic at CHKD. This is the hospital were Taylor spent many hours playing while she received various types of treatments. The above design is what will be on the front of the shirt. We based the design on things that reminded us of Taylor. As many of you know, Taylor always loved to sing You are My Sunshine to her Grandma. We have, therefore, named this the Sunny Day Project. Also, the playhouse is a duplicate of the one that was built for her by Charlie Anderson, a local builder. The address 1205 Taylor Lane is her birth date, December 5th. Your support will be greatly appreciated as we try to keep Taylor’s memory alive and hopefully provide sunny days for those children who will benefit from the proceeds.

The shirts will all be $10. They will be available in Children’s Small (6-8), Medium (10-12), and Large (14-16). Adult sizes will range from Small to 3X. We would like to have all orders and money in by 10/31/03. You can send the orders to me and shipping will be free.

Address:

Neena Hancock
4932 Briarwood Lane
Portsmouth, VA 23703

Thank you very much for your support.

Tuesday, Octoboer 21, 2003

If you look at this page today please sign the guestbook. I sure could use some encouraging words. I am so lonely for Taylor. I am just having a hard time right now. I miss my little girl!

Sunday, October 19, 2003

Thank you for the support so far with the T-shirts. I am really looking forward to going out and buying things for the clinic in Taylor's Memory. I have left all of the information about the sales below. For me things continue to move along slowly. I still miss Taylor more every day. I continually read things to help me learn how to cope and things that will enlighten me on exactly what Taylor is most likely doing in the spirit world. I know that Taylor is truly happy. I know that she was a most choice daughter of her Father in Heaven. I have read now many times the statement that little children who die in their innocence are too lovely, too pure, to clean to endure the many pains, trails and sorrows of the world. That they were taken to avoid the many evils of this world. I believe this with all my heart. I know that Taylor was indeed a most special spirit. She had a mission on this earth and she completed it with great courage and love for others. I am so honored to have had the privilege to be Taylor's mother here on this earth and I know without a doubt that one day I will again have the opportunity to raise Taylor where I left off. I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of our Savior Jesus Christ and His great plan of eternal happiness. Without this knowledge, I do not know how I would carry on. Even with this knowledge, it is very tough. Even though I know all of this my heart still aches for my little girl. I love her and miss her more than one could ever imagine. Each day is a struggle for me. I am so lost. Taylor and me shared everything and more that a mother and daughter should share. I miss that. The sweet things she said to me, the little kisses she always gave me, the way she would always stroke my hair. I miss all of these things. Even with the knowledge I have the hurt is still there. I pray continually for the strength of my Father in Heaven to help me have the courage that Taylor had to endure and make it through this great trial. I never expect not to miss Taylor nor would I want to stop missing her. I just hope with time somehow the pain will lessen and I can live again. I know that is what Taylor would want. When she was here if she ever thought I was about to cry she would always say, "Don't even start that." I hope she can understand my tears now and will be patient with me.

Now a little about my Mom. Again, she was not able to get chemo this past week. Her counts remain low. She is not feeling well and is having a hard time right now. She too misses Taylor very much. In addition, she worries about me continually. I try not to break down in front of her, but sometimes the tears come and I cannot help myself. Please pray for her that her spirits will lift and she will some how find a miracle in her life.
I am grateful for each of you who continue to stick with me. I appreciate the e-mails and you will never know how much they mean to me. Thanks again for all of the support. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunny Day Project!
We are having a fundraiser in memory of Taylor. We will be selling T-shirts to raise money to buy gifts for the clinic at CHKD. This is the hospital were Taylor spent many hours playing while she received various types of treatments. The above design is what will be on the front of the shirt. We based the design on things that reminded us of Taylor. As many of you know, Taylor always loved to sing You are My Sunshine to her Grandma. We have, therefore, named this the Sunny Day Project. Also, the playhouse is a duplicate of the one that was built for her by Charlie Anderson, a local builder. The address 1205 Taylor Lane is her birth date, December 5th. Your support will be greatly appreciated as we try to keep Taylor’s memory alive and hopefully provide sunny days for those children who will benefit from the proceeds.

The shirts will all be $10. They will be available in Children’s Small (6-8), Medium (10-12), and Large (14-16). Adult sizes will range from Small to 3X. We would like to have all orders and money in by 10/31/03. You can send the orders to me and shipping will be free.

Address:

Neena Hancock
4932 Briarwood Lane
Portsmouth, VA 23703

Thank you very much for your support.

Thursday, October 9, 2003 10:25 PM CDT

I thought I would update a little tonight. It has been hard for me to seat and type anything about Taylor. I miss her so very much. It will be 4 weeks this Sunday and I miss her more everyday. I can not begin to explain how I really feel. I know that Taylor is happy where she is and that she is truly in the presence of her Father in Heaven. I know without a doubt she could not be happier. I know that she is aware of me and the rest of her family, but she also understands everything now. For her the time will be very brief before we are reunited again. It is very difficult for me right now to just look to the future and know that one day we will be that eternal family that we have been promised if we live worthy. I wish the time on earth seemed as short as it does in heaven. Taylor was such a sweet little girl. I miss everything about her. I would give anything to kiss her check one more time, to kiss the back of her neck, to hear her call out "Mama", to rub my hair the way she loved to do, but I know that is not going to happen and somehow I will have to learn how to carry on without her. I pray to my Father in Heaven each day to find the strength to be strong and to get through each day. However, I know that it is going to take time and even with time the hole in my heart will never go away. I just pray that I will find the peace and comfort to be able to live again and enjoy the family I do have here on this earth. I ask you to continue to pray for our family that we will find that comfort and strength we need to help us at this time. Also, I ask you to continue to pray for my Mom. She is not doing well. The doctor told her this week that her days ahead could be tough and there has to be a better place than this. I just pray that somehow my Mom could be blessed with a miracle. I really do not know what I am going to do if I loose her also. She is such a source of strength for me. She continues to be there for me continually. I feel so bad because I know I need to be there for her now. She is very tired. Taylor is what really keep her going. Please pray that I will find the strength to be there for her and help her all I can. I know that is what Taylor would want me to do. Thank you again for your support and e-mails. It means a lot to me. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, October 5, 2003 8:17 AM CDT

New pictures. Here are some of the thoughts I shared at Taylor's funeral.

Dear family and friends:

Today I can not let this memorial to my daughter end without standing before you and publicly thanking my Father in Heaven for the opportunity to have been Taylor’s mother here on this earth. I am honored to have had the opportunity to share my life with her. She has taught me so much in her six years of life. She taught me about hope, charity, compassion, and most of all she taught me the meaning of perfect faith. Taylor had the faith that could have truly moved mountains. She never gave up. Know matter how tough things got she continually asked our Father in Heaven to comfort her. I know that Taylor was too perfect for this world. She had her mission here on this earth and it is now completed. She will never suffer again. She has been exalted to the highest realms of heaven. No one can take that away from her. She has earned the right to live in the presence of her Father in Heaven and with her stands her brother Joshua which brings me such comfort knowing how much Taylor loved her family. Taylor’s life had a major importance. I never want it to be forgotten. Through her long suffering we have all learned much. Please always honor her name and live your life in a way that would be pleasing to our Father in Heaven. As Taylor said be good. In closing I would like to bear you my testimony that I know that our Savior Jesus Christ lives that he loves us and cares for us. I know without a doubt that Taylor is truly a part of our eternal family. That families can truly be together forever. I look forward to the reunion with Taylor and Joshua for I know that in heaven we will all be together again. I am so thankful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and for my loving parents who taught me the correct gospel principles. I am going to truly miss Taylor more than one can begin to imagine, but I do have the peace knowing we will be together again some day soon. I love you my sweet angel. Amen

Tuesday, September 30, 2003 10:25 PM CDT

We have power. I guess that is good. I miss Taylor so much that nothing seems to really matter much right now. I am so happy for Taylor and the gift of eternal life she has be given. I just am lonely for her. I do have the comfort to know Taylor is in a wonderful place and happy. I just miss her so much. We shared so many things together and it is really hard. Right now I find each day to be a little harder. I know that my life will never be the same again. I just hope I can learn to feel the strength of our Father in Heaven each day and let peace enter into my life again. I pray each morning for Taylor's sweet spirit to be with me and to help me through the day. I need her to help me now the way she needed me to help her while she was here on this earth. I know that Taylor is aware of me and misses me also, but she understands eveything now. I am so thankful to have her as my guardian angel. She will be my source of strength to help me live my life to be worthy of the same blessings she now enjoys. I also want to ask you once again to remember my mother who continues to fight for her life. She is not doing well and Taylor was her source of strength for so long. Please pray that she will still have that strength to fight and beat this awful disease. Thank you so much for all of the e-mails and continued support. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, September 26, 2003 4:43 PM CDT

I just wanted everyone to see the article that was in the Virginian Pilot today about Taylor.

Post Script: 6-year-old's bout with leukemia inspired many
By IDA KAY JORDAN, The Virginian-Pilot
© September 27, 2003
Last updated: 8:23 PM

PORTSMOUTH -- A perfect little playhouse, trimmed in pink and purple and built for a sick little girl by volunteers, survived Hurricane Isabel while trees and sheds all around it fell to the ground.

Taylor Nicole Hancock decorated it herself, in the style of her favorite doll, Barbie. She had been looking forward to starting her home-schooling there this month. Taylor, 6, died Sept. 14 after battling leukemia for two years.

Her fight reached far beyond her neighborhood, which rallied around her, staging fund-raisers. She also was an inspiration to thousands who never met her.

``We had 166,000 hits on her Web site,'' said Beth Prever, a family friend. ``People wanted to read the journals of her progress.''

But no one was inspired by Taylor more than her parents, three big brothers and grandparents. They jokingly called themselves POTs -- Prisoners of Taylor -- ready to do her bidding.

Taylor took on life with spunk. ``She wanted to swim, play T-ball, ride a bike, do everything kids want to do,'' said Terry Hancock, her dad.

When the Make-A-Wish Foundation sent the family to Disney World, she kept them hopping. That trip came last November, after doctors said Taylor wouldn't live four weeks.

Instead, she led the family on a merry chase. ``She loved the roller coasters,'' her dad said. ``She wouldn't get off.''

But for Taylor there was no place like home. She wanted everybody to be home every day for dinner and to watch a movie. Her brothers -- Layne, 20, Jonathan, 18, and Tyler, 14 -- all complied.

Taylor spent two 100-day stays for treatment at Duke University. She returned from the last one in October wearing a Halloween costume.

``She wanted to go trick-or-treating. And she did,'' Terry Hancock said.

``For two years she never complained,'' her dad said.

In her final weeks, Taylor asked for the first time: ``Why me?'' Then one day she said she'd figured it out.

``The Heavenly Father wanted me to teach people to be good,'' Taylor told her mother, Nina.

The family hopes to honor Taylor by raising money for Children's Hospital of The King's Daughters and the clinics that made a difference in her life.

Chances are there'll be people who never met Taylor who will rally for the cause.

© 2003 HamptonRoads.com/PilotOnline.com

Well we still have no power. I have so many things I would like to share with you about Taylor but, I am waiting for my computer at home. I also will change the pictures when I get my computer back. Things continue to be about the same. I miss Taylor more each day. She was my whole life. I love my boys and Terry but, Taylor needed me so much that is where all of my time went. I am so lost without her. I do not know what I am going to do with my life right now. It just feels so empty. I am trying to be strong but it seems to be getting harder each day. Taylor was my very best friend and I miss her so much. I try to stay strong because I know she would want me to be happy. Please pray that I will find that strength so I can continue to carry on and be of support to my family and my mom who is in need of so much care herself. I will update again soon. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, September 24, 2003 9:42 AM CDT

Hello everyone! We are still without power and I only have a moment to update again. Things are going ok. Life without Taylor is awful. I miss her more each day. She was my very best friend. Sometimes I think she was my only friend. It is very lonely without her. Please continue to e-mail me to help me get through these times. I am thankful for all of you. I do want you to know however, that I truly know that Taylor is now in the presence of her Father in Heaven and is happy and most of all free of all pain. For her I am happy. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, September 21, 2003 3:21 PM CDT

Hello, it is Neena again. I only have a moment to let you know that we are ok. I am typing on a laptop with only the battery and it is almost out. Due to the hurricane we have had no power since Thursday. So therefore I have not had the time to update. Today it has been one week since our sweet Taylor left us. I still can't begin to imagine a life without her in it. I think she sent the hurricane to keep our minds busy, then of course two days after the funeral we were back in the ER with Jonathan who cut his leg to the bone on a shed that had been flatten during the storm. He says that Taylor pushed him. I guess she is helping me keep busy so I don't have much time to think. I love her dearly and will miss her more than one can imagine. I have so many things I would like to share with you and will as soon as the power returns. Thank you for all of the support. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

wednesday, Sept 17, 2003 10:09 PM CDT

Neena asked me to update briefly, and let you all know that she will be updating herself in a few days. The visitation was last night and the funeral today, and I will say it was a priviledge to attend. Last night was very crowded, with lots of people there that love the family, lots of family, and also several nurses and Dr Werner. The funeral today, Jay and I agreed, was perfect. It was a wonderful tribute to Taylor, not heartbreaking but a celebration. The music was beautiful, including a song by Aunt Jacques' children, who did a great job at a terribly difficult time. They are their own choir. The other songs were well loved and , wow, the voices. The Eulogy that Jacque gave was obviously well thought out, and though it had to be terribly difficult for her, she did a fabulous job...and really caught the spirit of Taylor and her love for her entire family. The main speaker gave a very special talk about loss and recovery, and Faith, and especially the beliefs that have gotten this family through this very hard time. However, the most impressive for us all, was Neena, who gave a testimony of her love for Taylor, and their life, and she was perfect. Taylor, in Heaven, is so proud of her momma. I am proud of her too, and I know all of you out there are as well, for honoring Taylor so beautifully and doing such a difficult thing. This family is a wonderful example of Christian love and being a family that is together. I am sure all of you will let them all know how special it was to see all those boys take care of their little sister, and to see Taylor love and depend on her dad, and the closeness of Taylor and her mom. We have been blessed, and it does not come close to making any of this ok, but still, we have been blessed. They are holding on pretty well, and will update soon, keep this storm in mind if it is a few days, as we may all loose power. Keep in touch, and much love Mary Alice

Her family wishes to thank everyone for their prayers and support during her 2 1/2 year illness. A funeral will be held on Wednesday, September 17th at 12:00 at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, 1115 Cherokee Road, Portsmouth. The family will receive friends at Loving Funeral Home, Churchland Chapel, on Tuesday, September 16th from 7:00 to 8:30.

At 11:10am our sweet little Angel Taylor went home to her Heavenly Father. She is now at peace and with her big brother Joshua. Taylor we will miss you forever and love you for always, we can’t wait to be with you again someday.

Your loving Big Brother Layne!!!!!!!

Taylor

Though she was only here a little while.
And she was just a little child.
She taught us more than most people could.
And had to endure more than most people should.
But I know its because she had a special spirit.
And our Heavenly Father couldn’t bare to lose it.
When I think of Taylor I know she’s at peace.
And in a place I could only hope to be.
I know she now watches everything I do.
And I just want to tell her “I’m coming back to you.”

By: Jonathan J. Hancock (Taylor's Loving Brother)

Sunday, September 14, 2003 8:43 PM CDT

At 11:10am our sweet little Angle Taylor went home to her Heavenly Father. She is now at peace and with her big brother Joshua. Taylor we will miss you forever and love you for always, we can’t wait to be with you again someday.

Taylor

Though she was only here a little while.
And she was just a little child.
She taught us more than most people could.
And had to endure more than most people should.
But I know its because she had a special spirit.
And our Heavenly Father couldn’t bare to lose it.
When I think of Taylor I know she’s at peace.
And in a place I could only hope to be.
I know she now watches everything I do.
And I just want to tell her “I’m coming back to you.”

By: Jonathan J. Hancock (Taylor's Brother)

Sunday, September 14, 2003 7:40 PM CDT

Sunday, September 14, 2003 2:50 PM CDT

WANTED YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT TAYLOR WENT TO BE WITH HER BROTHER JOSHUA AND OTHER MEMBERS OF HER FAMILY IN THE ARMS OF THE HEAVENLY FATHER TODAY AT 11:05

Louise Campbell, Harkers Island, NC (ma)

Saturday, September 13, 2003 5:23 PM CDT

hey all, will update again for Neena. Things are not good, and Taylor had a really rough night. She is finally under some control pain wise, and Dr Werner has stopped the taking of vital signs so as to not bother her anymore . She does have a one on one nurse, which is some help. Her breathing has slowed, and they would have liked to take her home, but right now Dr. Werner feels she is too fragile to travel. They are comfortable with keeping her in Kings Daughters for now. None of the family is sleeping and Neena sounds exhausted but also, very together. They are of course constantly there and awake with TAylor. Time may be getting shorter, and they are really only now focusing on keeping her pain in control, and since some of the meds they can use are rough on Taylor, it is sometimes difficult to decide how to manage that. Please continue the prayers for them, and for their strength thruough these hard days. Neena of course still desperately wants a miracle , and she also wants Taylor to be comfortable rather than suffer anymore. It is terribly hard. Their faith is a miracle, as they are seeing Taylor weaken a bit, and your prayer from all over the world has helped keep them strong. Please continue to hold them in your prayer and ask for healing, but also much strength right now for her family as they are with her. I will update again tomorrow am, unless something changes tonight. Know that Neena and Terry appreciate all the prayer. Much love ma

Friday, September 12, 2003 8:55 PM CDT

Very briefly today/ Taylor did not go to the PICU, as the meds worked slowly and the Drs thought she could be managed on the floor with a one on one nurse. OF course Neena and Terry are better than one on one, but anyway. Taylor had a very rough night as they had to cut back her pain meds, but she made it through and is coming around today. I will tell you Neena is very angry, and that is something to see....Taylor has been hurting for a med error and it is really very unfair on top of all else. However, they are building the pain med back up and hopefully they will get it under control soon andt their hope is to get home fast, as they of course manage so well at home that all the nurses cannot figure out how. So, the meds from yesterday are wearing off and Taylor is still on the 8th floor, so keep her in your prayers for Gods will, and for healing and all the things she needs. It is very frustrating and as you can guess, Neena was mad, as their first concern is comfort and there was none. Today sounded a bit better but has been an unpleasant episode. I will call tomorrow and update as they are very busy now, with so much going on and will let you all know how things are. Keep the prayer strong and for their strength as they are truly being tested and their faith remains strong, and they are totally focused. However they are tired. Frankly Faith is not an issue with this family, they have so much but they are wearing out, and need Taylor to sleep well tonight. Much love to all for your support of them and they do know and appreciate all the prayer and thought. Keep the notes coming as much comfort comes from your love. ma

Thursday, September 11, 2003 2:22 PM CDT

Will update again. Need all the prayer chain. Neena called and Taylor was admitted late last night to Kingd Daughters in Norfolk, after an episode at home of seizure like activity. They got her settled and she did see the Neurologist today, and he ordered an antiseizure drug, however, a mistake was made and the drug was given in a 6X the proper dose. Dr. Werner has told them the drug is a 24 hour 1/2 life in the body so for the next 24 hours, they are moving Taylor to the PICU> She is having diffficulty breathing, and Dr Werner did discuss with Neena and Terry the possibility of a ventilator, for the short period of time only that the drug is acting to sedate Taylor and making it very difficult for her to breathe. When Neena called, at 3 pm, they were taking her to the PICU then. Please be aware that this ventilator decision is only a possibllity, and it is the result of a MEDICAL error, not a natural progression of Taylors illness. Neena would not resuscitate or use a ventilator withTaylor if the very worst happened naturally, but this is not a natural occurrance. Dr Werner is in agreement with this difficult decision, and frankly as another mom of a child that has had treatment for cancer, I agree. The vent would help her through this drug induced sedation. Please keep their ability to think clearly in your prayers, and their strength, as well as Taylors comfort. We will try to update as often as possible, and maybe some of the family that is sitting with them will add later. Just know Taylor is in good hands with Dr. Werner, and her parents and family are of course there constantly. Please pray also for Comfort for Taylor, as Neena did say she is very scared and afraid right now. Also, this would be the perfect time for God to work His miracle and totally heal this child, as noone else could possibly take credit. Will keep you posted as I can. Mary Alice

Wednesday, September 10, 2003 7:59 PM CDT

Hello all, Mary Alice again. Sorry has been so long, and Neena did want an update. She is just so busy right now that it is difficult. Taylor is about the same, possibly a bit more weak and uncomfortable. She is running a fever, and Neena feels she will have to run her to KD on Fri. for platelets and possibly some treatment, and they will decide then according to what she may need.. She is having some skin dryness and that makes her uncomfortable as well, and things just generally are not great. Taylor is blessed with many Faithful members of the Church, giving her Blessings which make her more comfortable, and her Faith is strong and constant. God is truly with the family, and they know Taylor is never far from Gods hand. This child, and her family, have been a light to watch as they maneuver this path and they always know that while God did not choose Taylor to suffer as a small child, He is surely there to comfort her. It is very difficult, and here I am not certain what Neena would like said. The love in the home in great. Taylor needs a miracle for healing and for her comfort, so please continue to pray for that. Her family has been the best advocate for her that is possible, and they have searched and found the best care and the most current care possible, often in the face of much opposition medically. They have learned so much about this illness, and through their determination to do all possible, Taylor has been given the gift of much more time than they originally told them. They are leaving nothing that is reasonable untried, and constantly keep Taylors comfort first in their thoughts. They are doing nothing that is not for her comfort and I cant count the time since they have really been rested, so keep the strength, both mental and physcal of the family strong in your prayers as well. Neena and Terry continue to believe Taylor can be miraculously healed, and that hope is strong. Taylor, as all these children, so deserves this miracle, and Taylor has the most amazing Faith and knows that God is with her. They do appreciate all the notes and most especially the prayer for Taylor and her healing. Also, please remember Neena's mom, who has not gotten great news lately in her cancer battle but remains strong while she makes some treatment decisions. Also remember Taylors many brothers and their needs, as they struggle with this whole thing. Neena reads this faithfully and will write, and has asked me to update tonight. Please make entries and let them know of your prayers, it is such help to hear and read who is out there praying and sending them much love. Will keep in touch, ma

Thursday, September 4, 2003 8:52 PM CDT

Hello all, Mary Alice again. Lots to update, and first of all, things are about the same. HOWEVER, Today Taylor celebrated her birthday, and we were given the gift of being invited, so at least this update is first hand. Neena and Terry have a wonderful and loving family, a large loving family. The porch was decorated beautifully for a Barbie birthday and Mrs Hancock, Terry's delightful mother who is here visiting and cooking and working and keeping so much in control, made the delicous birthday cakes...2 of them and they were so good. (She wanted me to be sure to tell you she spent all morning baking them). There were about 24 cousins there of all ages and all were having a great time. The home is filled with joy and love, and the support is total. Neena and Terry and the boys are really doing well, though they are tired. Taylor is the strongest child I know, and has such a love of life. She is in pain, but does well with it. She frankly looks good! and handles all the illness with a grace that in a child should never be taken for granted, as she does not complain, and is full of Faith and love. This child has complete love surrounding her, and is full of the will to live, and today she is hanging right in there. Jay, Lizzie and I are honored to have been asked to come, and Taylor was Blessed by her uncles and a close friend, who are all Priests of the Church, and it was beautiful. Then, she asked that her grandmother Jones be blessed, who by the way also looks strong and good, and may have chemo tomorrow if her counts are up enough...then Taylor asked that our Lizzie who had a brain tumor, be blessed as well, which was a gift to us. These children have such Faith, and not in just this life, which of course Taylor loves and intends to have, but in the Power of God, which will be with her in this life and forever. In her illness, she has the innocence of God, and you can feel that she knows all is well no matter the outcome. This child and her families' love is a miracle now, and she is a strong example to us all of Faith no matter what. For all the family, I wish I could tell names, but when Neena said there would be a crowd of family, she meant it, and it was great. Taylor may ask for another birthday party next month, it was such fun. So, things are not wonderful, but they are joyful. Neena and the family are tired, and they have much support. Taylor is tired, but loved and full of God's power. Neena and Terry have a brutal med. schedule, but they deal with it from habit and do well with it. There is another antibiotic added for a new line infection, which is just one more med that must be run over hours and cant mix with anything else. Taylor was not running a high fever, but the infec. was there. For now, all is going along about the same, and daily they are proving that for today, this battle can be won. Lizzie, Jay and I had a wonderful time, and Neena did ask us to update. They read all the entries, so please continue to write, write, write, and more important continue to pray and believe in the miracle of continued life, and good life with love and family for Taylor. She needs the final miracle soon, and deserves it like all these children. So, keep the prayers constant for total healing, and strength for them all. Neena believes in the miracle, and we continue to ask for it. Pardon to all the family who would like names of who was there, but there were lots., and we must include Lady the puppy, who was put in the back room and is very cute, if a bit wild. Will update as they ask. Yours, ma

Monday, September 1, 2003 2:50 PM CDT

hi, is Mary Alice again. Spoke to Terry's mom yesterday, and Neena today. For all of you today is Neena's birthday, so Happy Birthday to you!!! She is just over 39, so hope she has a good one.
Things are sort of the same. Taylor is not doing great, and unfortunately in a lot of pain. They are trying really hard to keep her totally comfortable and usually it works, but Taylor likes to be off the pump some, and they are working that out. They will go and get the granulcytes tomorrow, with Terry going early to donate and Taylor later to get them. She is still on all the meds, and is amazing all the Drs. with her fight. Neena is so aware that Taylor is in pain and wants everyone to continue to pray for their strength and for the final miracle she is still hoping so hard for. They have such Faith that God can do this, for His glory, and are not going to give that hope up. Neena is aware of course that Taylor has a terribly difficult fight, she would have to know that, but as her parents, they are going to be sure everything possible is done to help Taylor live. Their entire family is with Taylor nearly all the time, and I think tonight hey are going to Neenas mom for a birthday celebration. Please keep her mother in all the prayers too, as she continues her battle and pray that the tumor markers continue to not only rise slowly, but fall and go to normal. This is such a strong family, and they are doing so much, and it is all very hard right now. Do know that Neena knows the outcome of all this with out a miracle, and they still truly hope and feel that the miracle can come even now, to prove that God can heal over the Drs. ability. Please keep all the prayer strong, and I ask that everyone keep asking for strength for them all, as this has been so long since they came home from Duke, and went to Houston. Also, that Taylor find some way to be comfortable and the pain in her body to be stopped. Thank you for letting me share with you all, and Neena so appreciates your prayers. ma

Friday, August 29, 2003 9:21 PM CDT

This is Mary Alice again, not much news. Talked very briefly to Neena, who was waiting for Dr. Bevan to call. They had been at clinic all day, and finally gotten granulycytes, which are the white cells that protect our immune system, from what I understand....they got home about 45 minutes ago, but Taylor is in a bit of pain, and they are waiting to get the ok to raise her pain med dose, so we did not talk long. Her protein is low, so they are giving her some Prosure, like Ensure, but with more stuff, so she may get some better nutrition, and they will see what the Dr. tells them to do. Anyway, for now they are at home and things could be better. I will call again tomorrow, and maybe someone has better info for this site as I hate to keep calling when I am not family. Neena is terribly grateful for all the prayers, and really needs them to continue for Taylor...they are hanging on, and are very busy constantly. Please keep them in all your thoughts and on all the prayer lists you can, and send all the positive thoughts their way possible. From my view, this is a very hard time, and as a cancer parent , or any parent, one of the hardest places to be possible. They are dealing with it with more grace and love than imaginable, and Taylor could not have better advocates for her care, and better parents and family to love her. Their courage is wonderful to see, and they all are an example to us of love in terrible times. I met Neena the night Taylor was diagnosed, and have seen few parents fight more and learn more than Neena and Terry, they can stand up to anyne for their children. We now need to stand up for them, in prayer and strength. Will update tomorrow if she would like. ma

Thursday, August 28, 2003 6:49 PM CDT

Guess who again! Neena is so gratful for all the book entries, and your prayers. The number of people praying and writing are very uplifting. They are better today, at least more settled sounding, and when I talked briefly to her, that Dog was attacking her mom ,wanting to play. Taylor is still feeling ok, and they are running meds in on schedule. There is a possibility that some of the lung infection is bacterial, and she told me the name of what had shown up in her spinal fluid, but forget trying to get it here, neither of us could begin to spell it. However, Neena is hoping that the pennicillin they are sending will help the lung improve, as the bacteria can be treated, and fungus is more difficult. Her bone marrow is about the level she thought it would be, and she still is very neutropenic, so infection is a big issue. If some of the infection is this new bacteria, the pennicillin should help in a day or so. That is what Neena is hoping. They are also working on getting some white cells for Taylor, through a process not often used at Kings Daughters, but used at Duke, and as you can imagine, Neena is pushing for that very hard...it would involve Terry donating, and give her some immune help for a short time. They are in touch with Duke, and the Drs there are amazed that Taylor is still here, frankly, so that is a testament to her family and their Faith. They are in better spirits, and are basically waiting for the meds. to work and hoping for all the Drs to be proven wrong. Taylor is comfortable, and Neena is in a better mood for sure. Her mom was there, and her chemo is holding her blood levels down some as well, so she is doing a bit better. All the prayers are a great help, and please keep them strong, for not just getting over this current difficulty, but also the cure she needs. They are an amazingly strong family, and have taught us all so much about never giving up, and loving. So, will call her again tomorrow and update if she wishes....if some of you want the job and can make better sense, feel free! Yours in prayer, Mary Alice

Wednesday, August 27, 2003 7:57 PM CDT

Hello All, this is Mary Alice again.

Frankly, things are not great. Neena and I spoke briefly, and she asked that I update. So, realize how little I know about Leukemia, and bear with me.

The bone marrow came back about the same as 5 weeks ago, about 95o the naked eye. That is an unofficial report, but Neena feels accurate. They are giving ambisone which is one of the fungal drugs for the fungus in the lungs, and many other drugs for various bacterial infections, which result in most of the day being spent in sorting out drug hours and which can follow which iv med. None of these meds are compatable with each other and must be run at different times. The result is hours of meds which must be monitored, but of course are done at home.

Taylor is not too uncomfortable, and is sick of going to clinic. Neena and her family sound very tired, and understandably Neena, in her own words, has a bad attitude today. However, she has and continues to show terrific faith and caring for Taylor and what is best for her. They are uncertain of what is next, but the report today is not good.

And so, they are at home, and doing what they must. Neena is wishing for any explanation for any of this, and if anyone reading this can reasonably help her, please call her and give her some support. There just is not a lot to be said when a small child goes through all of this and then has no improvement when she desperately needs it....sometimes I would like to tell God that support is really nice, and we need it, but frankly we would prefer some good old miracles.

I also realize some of you may not know they came home from Houston. The insurance so. here would simply not approve the new drug they wanted to use at MD Anderson, so they flew back last week commercial. ..cant remember now what day, think it was last Wed. evening. The Drs. there did all they could to get it to work out, but it did not. So, that is why they came home.

Will call her tomorrow, and update if she asks me to. Please, keep your prayers strong now, as they are tired, and sound more discouraged than before. thanks, ma

Tuesday, August 26, 2003 9:07 PM CDT

This is Neena's friend, Mary Alice updating for Neena, after they spent a very long day in clinic.

Taylor went in needing platelets, and potassium, and in some back pain. They have found three fungal infection areas in her lungs, and she stayed until very late tonight to get an iv treatment of Ambisone, a fungal med. Neena and Terry will return tomorrow with Taylor at 10 to have a bone marrow done, and see what the leukemia is doing there.. They will then decide how to treat this latest roadblock. This is Aspergillis, the same infection she had last May, so she is proof it can be defeated, so please, keep your prayer strong . From what I understand, the Aspergilli need to be surgically removed, so the decision cannot be made lightly and they will need our support and prayers. Neena and her family are very tired, but Taylor is strong and her family is too, and Neena is the fighter we would all want on our side. I do know that they will make sure anything that can be done to save Taylor and make her comfortable will be done. Someone will update tomorrow night, and Neena is sorry she cannot do it tonight, but she is tired and Taylor needs her. Her spirits are good, and she is looking into all possible options.

They may have a long day tomorrow, as they get Ambisone, possible blood, and then the bone marrow which requires anesthesia. Will try to update if they dont get home too late.
love to all ma

Sunday, August 17, 2003 1:14 PM CDT

Hello, this is Neena again. Sorry for being so slow. We have been busy and Taylor occupies most of my time. We are still waiting for insurance approval before we can begin the trial. Our insurance company had been waiting for a letter for the drug company and finally recieved it Friday afternoon. Of course that was too late for them to get approval so we have to wait until Monday. Taylor only has to get a bone marrow for the final test to be in the program. I am praying it will have no leukemia and then we would have to go home because we would not qualify for the program. Of course that is something I could live with. We are all very homesick. Taylor spirits have been down. We have been trying to keep her busy so she would not miss home so much. At this point I am not sure if the drug would do more good then being home with her family. I am really praying that my Father in Heaven will make it easy for me and help things work out the way they should. Of course all of the doctors here also say this is not a cure for Taylor just could give her more time. I still say no one knows whether Taylor will be cured or not except her Father in Heaven. I still trust him completely. I have to admit I am scared too death and wish all of this could go away. I love Taylor so much and can't begin to imagine what my life would be without her. I want so badly to see her run and play, to move about without help, to have all of her hair back, to head off to school, and so many other things. She has been sick long enough now and I am ready for the cure. I know that the cure will only come from our Father in Heaven and I do know without a doubt in my mind that the miracle we desire can still happen. Please continue to pray for her daily and my Mom also. I will try to update again after Monday and let you know what happens. Please pray continually and keep the faith strong. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, August 13, 2003 6:07 PM CDT

Hello everyone, this is Taylor's cousin, Shannon. Neena asked me to put a short note up here and let ya'll know how things are going in Texas. Neena said that they are are almost 100 percent sure that she'll get into the trial, and if so, the trial will start on Friday. Taylor will be the first child to take this drug. She will be on it for twenty-one days. They will do a Bone Marrow check on day twenty-eight, so if she is accepted into the trial, she will be in Texas for approximately thirty days. Taylor had been a little home sick, so today, for something fun to do, Taylor, Neena, and Terry went to Galvestone, which is where the ocean is. Things are looking positive.

Friday, August 8, 2003 10:55 PM CDT

Just a short note tonight. I just wanted to let you know that we are on the way to Houston, Texas on Monday. We have an appointment there Tuesday, at 10am. I do not know anything yet, except that Taylor is being evaluated to see what clinical trial would be most appropriate for her. Actually, we can not even be guaranteed that she will qualify for any, but the doctor there feels she will. We do not have any idea if we will be there a week or for a month or more at this point. I really have very mixed emotions about leaving home. I want to go for Taylor of course, but I really hate leaving my home again and most of all my family. Also, I do not like leaving my Mom while she is so sick. However, in my heart I feel this is the best thing for Taylor at this time and that is what is most important. I just continue to pray that the donor cells will take over again and win the battle for good this time. Taylor went to the clinic today. We had to sit there and wait nearly 5 hours for her to have a spinal done. The good news was that her spinal fluid is still free of leukemia at this point. We will do a bone marrow next week at M.D. Anderson. Hopefully, the news will be good for that also. Taylor is feeling pretty good right now. She continues to play and do things during the day. She stays up late and sleeps late. She seems to be doing well. She still has the sores on her bottom and continues to be on pain meds for that, but until she regains a white count I don't know when they will heal. Hopefully, the white count will soon come in. Taylor has been without an immune system for nearly 6 weeks now. I also want to let Keri know how much we really appreciated her being with us. She is our friend from Idaho. She has been there for us continually. We really do miss you Keri. Hopefully, in the near future when you come to visit Taylor will be well and we will be able to go and do all kinds of fun things with her. Also, tonight I want to thank my cousin, Chuck. He made it possible for us to get a free flight to Houston on a private plane. Taylor can not fly on commercial flights because of her immune system. It means so much for us to be able to not have to make that long trip on the road. It would have really been tough on Taylor. I want to thank him and all of the others that made it possible. Now a little about my Mom. She was not able to get her chemo today. Her counts were a little too low. She has really had a bad week. Please continue to remember her in your prayers also. It is going to be hard on her also being away from Taylor. She really hates for us to be so far away. I would like to thank all of you again for the continued support and prayers for them both. I still feel in my heart that Taylor is going to be ok. I expressed my feelins to her doctor this week. I know he thought I was crazy, but I don't care. I know that it all is up to our Father in Heaven. He has the ultimate power in all things. He still does provide miracles on the earth and I know if anyone deserves one it would be Taylor and my Mom. Thanks again for everything and I will update again when we get to Houston. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, August 4, 2003 11:02 PM CDT

Hello! Things are about the same around here. Taylor is still on a pump for pain and she still has no white count to fight infection. She has had diarrhea for almost 4 weeks now. If we could get that to stop her bottom would probably heal and she could get off the pain meds and that would help with her overall personality. What she really needs is for her bone marrow to recover and to be able to have some healthy white cells to fight infection. It has been a tough four weeks since we left Duke, but Taylor is doing much better than the doctors had told us to plan for when leaving there. She does continue to have GVH also. I truly believe her donor cells will once again take over. Taylor is up and playing with her computer, watching movies, doing crafts, and of course bossing me around continually. She stays up until 1pm most nights and sleep to 11 in the morning. She is truly a fighter and does not give up. She has had to face alot over the past 4 weeks, but I truly believe that Taylor is going to be ok. I just have this strong feeling that Taylor is going to get that Miracle we all keep praying for. One of the biggest fears right now is keeping her free from infections. She has not had any immune system for 5 weeks now. She is just about off all of the meds for the past infections and I just pray she will stay free of any future infections. I want to thank all of you for sticking by us and continually praying for Taylor. I know that our Father in Heaven is watching over her continually. Taylor is a very special little girl. She has set such an example for so many people. I don't know of many people who could endure what Taylor has had to go through. Taylor also believes in the power of prayer. She continaully ask everyone to pray for her to feel better. She has never given up. I will never give up either. I know without a doubt prayer makes the difference. I know that we must do all we can for ourselves, but we must completely trust the Lord and He will do what is best for each of us. I just continue to pray that He will see it in His will to let Taylor live and stand as a witness here on this earth of His great power. My Mom also continues to need your prayers. She comes over each day and offers what ever support she can. She is very tired and weak, but never stops offering to help any way she can. Please continue to pray for her and Taylor. I know that we can make a difference and that our prayers are heard. I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ. I want to thank each of you once again for your support, but most of all for the prayers you offer for them both. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, July 30, 2003 4:04 PM CDT

Hello, I know it has been a while since you have heard from me personally. I have been very busy taking care of Taylor. With the pain meds she takes I feel like she is my drill sergeant. She keeps me hopping every minute of the day, but I would not have it any other way. Her pain is under control most of the time. Her little bottom is still very sore. She still only has a white count of .3 so not alot of white blood cells to heal anything at this time. She went to the clinic today and recieved chemo in her spine again to keep that under control. I hope it does not make her feel bad. She continues to have GVH which is a good sign that the donor cells are still there and continue to fight. I can only continue to pray and keep the faith that our Father in Heaven will see it in his will to heal her once and for all of this awful disease. I have such inner strength that I have never had before. I just have this strong feeling that things will work out. I hope it is just not wishful thinking on my part, but the spirit from my Father in Heaven helping me through this time. I am sorry, but I must stop updating for know because Taylor is not feeling well and wants me. Please keep in touch and continue to pray for the healing power my Mom and Taylor need. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, July 26, 2003 9:46 AM CDT

Hello everyone this is Keri Taylor a friend of the Hanccks from Idaho and Neena asked me to fill you in on what is going on with Taylor. She has had a very busy week. It started off with her billiruben being pretty high, it was up to 4.7. They dont know why this happened, but Neena was afraid that Taylor was going to start having problems with her liver. So they continued to monitor the levels and the have gone back down to normal at .4. Also this week Taylor has continued to have diarrhea and her poor little bottom is sore and is VERY painful for her all of the time. They decided to put Taylor on a morphine pump so that she could push a button whenever she started to be in pain which it started working, but Taylor started acting the same way she did back in December when she went into respiratory arrest. So needless to say Nenna and Terry were a lottle hesitant to keep her on the Morphine so they took her off of the pump. The Doctors did put her on another pain medication called phentanyl which is also on a pump so that Taylor can push the button when she needs it. I am not sure if this medication is working the same way the morphine did, but we will see throughout the day. This week also the found the adnovirus in the stomach so the are trying to get that under control. On Thursday Taylor started getting GVH rash all over her body again and everyday it keeps getting worse which is a glimps of hope for Neena and Terry, but the rash is making her itch. A positive thing that hapeened this week with Taylor's counts is that her white counts are going up slowly they were at .4 yesterday.
Taylor was excited to have her Nana Hancock come back to vistit her this week.
I think that I have told all that I can remember, but we will try to update again soon. It is difficult to update because Taylor always wants her whole family in with her wherever she is. We just ask that the prayers keep going for Taylor and her Grandma so that they can have this miracle that they need so bad right now. Love, Keri
Keri

Sunday, July 20, 2003 10:19 PM CDT

Hello! I am so sorry about not keeping you informed about Taylor. It has been very hard to find the time with everything that has been going on. Taylor wants me by her side every minute of the day and I want to be there for her. Taylor had gotten a line infection right before we left Duke and the she got another one last week. Wednesday she started having a fever and they took blood culters and that is when we found out. She has been having non stop diarrhea also for about 10 days now and her little bottom is so sore she can barely move around. She has no white count at the time and no way for it to really heal. Thursday when she went into the clinic for platelets we found that her blood pressure was 55 over 30 and she was completely dehydrated. The doctors at that point told us that she might be in shock from the infections she had. Of course they did not spare us any and said we could lose her in the next 24 hours if things did not turn around. Well, once again Taylor did turn around and her blood pressure not only went up on its own but before we actually left the hospital she had high blood pressure due to so many fluids and high doses of steroids. Tonite Taylor is doing much better. Her blood pressure is getting were it should be and the swelling she had from all of the fluids has gone down a lot. She still is having diarrhea and her little bottom is very sore. Please pray for her that she will begin to have her white count recover and her body will once again heal. Taylor has endured so much and we need the miracle. While she was in the hospital she ask me Mommy, Why does this always happen to me? It nearly broke my heart when she said this. The worst part was I did not know what to tell her. She continually ask our family to get together and pray that she will feel better. Taylor has such great faith. I can only hope and pray that our Father in Heaven will hear our prayers and heal her yet again. I appreciate all of the support and the e-mails. I am sorry I don't have time to respond to any of you personally. Please know that we are doing everything we can to take good care of Taylor and not cause her any great pain. I ask all of you to pray for her continually and keep the faith strong that she will be healed by our Father in Heaven. My Mom also continues to need your prayers. She was able to get her chemo on Friday. It has been very hard for her trying to help and keep herself going as she too suffers from her cancer. Thanks again for all of your support and prayers and please keep the faith strong. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, July 17, 2003 9:11 PM CDT

This is Taylor’s Aunt Jacque updating again. Neena just wanted me to let everyone know that Taylor was in the hospital. Taylor has several infections in her lines and was dehydrated, but things are looking better as we go into the night. She said to ask each of you for double prayers as well as continued faith that miracles still happen.

Monday, July 14, 2003 10:49 PM CDT

Hello! Well it is late and Taylor is sleeping so I thought I would try to update real quick. Not a whole lot has changed this week. Taylor seems to be doing pretty good. She did have to get platelets today. I don't think she will need to get them again until the end of the week so that will be good. Her white blood count is very low .1 actually. Which bascially means she has no immune system at this time. I hope to see the number increase soon. She has a line infection at the time we are treating. Tomorrow I am hoping to hear something on the drug at M.D. Anderson. It is a Phase I clinical trial drug. We are hopeful to get Taylor there for the treatment. It is a non toxic drug so it should not hurt Taylor and hopefully it will help. First, I would like to let everyone know that I am not putting Taylor through anything that would cause her discomfort. I just don't feel I can give up right now. I have had a different feeling every since she relapsed this time. I can't really explain it, I just don't think it is the time to give up. Most of all I still have the faith and believe completely that the Lord is in control. I know that it will be his decision on what happens over the upcoming weeks. I just pray daily for his guidance in doing the right thing. I know how the doctors feel, but there is a scripture in Corinthians that says, "That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God." That is exactly how I feel. I trust the Lord compeltely and just hope and pray that he will see fit to spare Taylor and she will live as a true witness of a Miracle here on this earth. I know it can happen. Please pray for her continually. I am so thankful for each and everyone of you who have stuck with us through the past 2 years. I know that you will all be blessed for your kindness. Also, please continue to pray for my Mom. She is due for another treatment this Friday. Pray that her counts will be good and she will be able to continue with her treatments. I just want to let you know that I am grateful for my Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ. I have complete faith in them. I know if it is the will of our Father in Heaven Taylor will live. I know this without a doubt. Thank you again for all of your support and I will update as often as possible. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, July 11, 2003 12:25 AM CDT

I have so much I need to tell you, but for now I can only fill you in with the basics. The treatments are not working. Taylor has nearly 99eukemia cells in her bone marrow. The doctors feel she will only live a few weeks at most. We have come home to enjoy her, but most of all to continue to pray for yet another miracle. I ask all of you to please keep the faith and pray for her continaully. We do have one other option that we are working on at M.D. Anderson in Houston Texas. We will know about that on Tuesday. I ask all of you to please pray for us and Taylor and that our Father in Heaven will have it in his will to bless Taylor with yet another miracle. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, July 6, 2003 9:20 PM CDT

Hello everyone! It has been hard to keep up with everything being gone so much. We have had to stay at a hotel where we could not use the internet so I am sorry about the slow updates. Taylor tolerated the treatments well last week. Her peripheral blood continues to show no sign of leukemia. Of course the real answer is in the bone marrow and we will have that test this coming Wednesday. She also will get another spinal for chemo and to check for leukemia. I ask all of you to pray that her test will be good! I still believe with all my heart that Taylor can be healed through the great power of prayer and faith. I have learned to relay on my Father in Heaven completely through all of this. It really helps me to continue on with all the things we have had to face. I am so thankful for the knowledge I have of our Savior Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven. When the doctors tell me they feel they will never cure Taylor it does not give me a sense of doom anymore. I honestly don't depend on them to cure her anyway. I feel our Father in Heaven has that ultimate power. I do feel as a parent I must do all I can to make sure Taylor recieves the best treatment, but the great healing power she needs will come from her Father in Heaven. I truly don't know why she has had to endure so much, but I am sure there is a reason and one day I will understand. For now I just pray that Taylor will not suffer through these treatments and she will be able to recieve that final Miracle she needs. We have a long week ahead of us so pray for Taylor to be able to tolerate all the clinic time and somehow enjoy herself. Also, my Mom was able to recieve her chemo again this week. She seems to be tolerating the chemo well. I thinks she is feeling better than she has in a long time. It really makes me feel good to see her feeling better. I would like to think all of you for the e-mails and prayers. I will try to get someone to post the results of the bone marrow and spinal test Wednesday. Please pray for Taylor and my Mom that they will recieve their Miracles and be healed. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, July 3, 2003 10:25 PM CDT

Just a quick update tonight. We are home from Durham and Taylor's treatments went well. I did not have any access to the internet at the hotel we had to stay in so I could not update. It is late and I promise to update you this weekend. My Mom was also able to get her chemo again too. Please continue to pray for them both. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, June 29, 2003 8:54 PM CDT

I am sorry about the slow updates. I have just not had the heart to sit down and write again. I just can't believe we are even going through all of this again. Taylor has been handling the treatments well. The spinal test went well last week and Taylor did receive the new chemo. Fortunately, she did not get sick from it at all. She takes a high dose of steroids for 5 days from the time of treatment to prevent being sick. The blast (leukemia cells) in her spinal fluid went from 750 to 4 last week prior to the new chemo. That was great news. However, her bone marrow showed no improvement. The doctors were discouraged, but also said they really had no baseline before treatment began. Taylor had went 8 whole days before treatment and her bone marrow could have went to 100uring that time just no way to know. We will have another bone marrow a week from this coming Wednesday. Her bloodwork shows on the other hand no blast and she has had plenty of cells to count. This is encouraging to the doctors. They feel the medicine she was getting only once a week might be working better so they have increased it to twice a week also. Last week Taylor had to spend 26 hours in the clinic in the four days she was there. She is still hanging in there and not complaining much. Fortunately, Nana and Tiffany came and brought the boys with them and this really helped with Taylor's mood and to keep her entertained. I know the doctors think we will be lucky to get Taylor in remission for a peroid of time at best, but I still have the faith and believe our Father in Heaven has the ultimate power. I could not begin to explain or understand why we must go through all of this again, but I still believe that Taylor can be healed through our Father in Heaven's great love. Taylor is such a fighter. I am just honored to be her mother and have the opportunity to help her through all of this. She depends on me 100 percent and I need her 100 percent I can not begin to imagine a life without Taylor. It is so hard to have to deal with all these emotions again. I just pray continually for the strength to be there for Taylor every second of the day. Please pray continually for her and keep the faith strong. I know without a doubt that Taylor can still receive the miracle she so deserves. We have to go to Duke this week on Tuesday and stay until Thursday. The follwing week we will go Monday through Thursday. After that I am not sure of the plan at this point. Soon we will begin some treatment at home. It is so hard being gone again all the time. I really miss being home and most of all being able to help my Mother. She was finally able to recieve her chemo last Friday. She had to go 4 weeks without any treatment due to her counts. She just missed being in a clinical trial, but there is another one coming in a couple of months. Hopefully, we will be able to get her in that one. Please pray for her also that she will have the strength to continue on and be healed also. Thanks again for the support and please e-mail me. I really enjoy reading your entry and it really helps me along the way. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, June 25, 2003 10:34 AM CDT

Hello everyone, My name is Tiffany and I am Taylors Aunt. I am just writing a quick note for Neena who is at the hospital with Taylor and Nana Hancock. She is getting a new form of Chemo today, a bone marrow test and a spinal tap test. Please continue to keep her in your prayers she really needs them at this time. We hope that the medicine doesn't cause her to have any side effects. She is having a really great time with her cousins Garrett and Baby Tommy. We are staying here with her while she is here in Durham. Thanks again for your prayers, Neena will update you later with the results of the tests and how things are going.

Tiffany
Taylors aunt

Wednesday, June 25, 2003 10:34 AM CDT

Sunday, June 22, 2003 9:58 PM CDT

Just a quick note tonight to let you know that as of Friday Taylor had no blast in her blood. We will be doing a bone marrow on Wednesday to see how that is. Taylor seems to be feeling really good. I have not seen her with this much energy for quite some time. We will be going to Duke again for additional treatment from Tuesday to Friday this week. Please continue to pray for Taylor and keep the faith strong. My Mom is also in need of prayers. She is feeling very poorly. I have not seen her feeling this bad since she was first diagnosed. We will be talking with her doctor this week to see what other options we have for her. I am sorry for the short update but it is late and I am tired. I will feel you in and change the pictures in a day or so. Thanks for the e-mails and please continue to pray daily for Taylor and my Mom. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, June 19, 2003 9:51 PM CDT

Hello from Durham once again. Taylor is doing well tonight after two days of treatment. Yesterday she went through the treatment fairly well. She did begin to have chills and they had to stop the medicine for a little while. Then today she also began to have chills with the other med. Unfortantely, it was a little tougher on her. She had the attention of all the nurses and doctor for a while. Her blood pressure went up and her oxygen level dropped. Also, she went from 99 degree temp to about 103 in a matter of moments. Then of course there was the throwing up. Needless to say I was getting a little upset but the doctors assured us that this was typical of the medication. It begins to kill the white blood cells almost upon contact and this is what causes the reaction. Fortunately, the treatments to follow will not be as bad because there is not as many cells to kill in the following treatments. Now the good news is that the doctor expected to see some results in the blood work today. Yesterday her blast (leukemia cells) were at 22%. Today after the first med they had dropped to 1%. The doctor was very pleased. I am very hopeful there will be no leukemia cells in her blood tomorrow. Now this does not mean her bone marrow is in remission. They will do a bone marrow test next Wednesday. We have to be at Duke from Tuesday to Friday next week for the same treatment. I have so much more to tell you, but Taylor is ready for my attention so I have to end for now. I just want everyone to know that Taylor is doing well. Please do not give up on her. I know without a doubt that our Father in Heaven continually hears our prayers. Please keep the faith strong. Thank you again for all of the support. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, June 18, 2003 7:11 AM CDT

Just a very quick note to let you know that we are off to Duke for the next three days. Taylor will be getting treatments to kill off all of her wbc, including the good ones. Hopefully, this will kill the leukemia cells and the donor cells with take ove again. Yesterday we found out she also had leukemia back in her spinal fluid. This was not what we wanted to hear. They have started treating it with chemo. It made her very sick last night. The medicine she will be getting at Duke will also have some flu like symptoms. Please keep the faith strong and I will try to update at Duke. Pray for my little Angel for I know that our Father in Heaven has the ulitimate healing power. Also, remember my Mom in your prayers as well as both of their doctors to be guided by our Loving Father in Heaven as they come up with the plan to treat them. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, June 15, 2003 6:05 PM CDT

Sorry about the slow update. I have been trying to get myself together again. I don’t have a lot to update you with right now. The doctors here at CHKD are still willing to do whatever we like, but they feel anything we do will be unsuccessful. Once again I do not share their feelings and with no hesitation let them know. The doctors at Duke have some options, but also feel that ultimately Taylor’s disease will win the battle. I continue to put my faith and trust in the hands of our Father in Heaven. I do not know why Taylor has been asked to once again face this awful disease, but I do know that with the great power of prayer and faith she can and will win the battle. Taylor is unaware of what is going on. She thinks it is all due to her GVH. It has been very aggressive because I have cut back on all the drugs that had been suppressing her donor cells. I feel that the doctors became too aggressive in trying to get rid of the GVH. Taylor has a very tough cancer and I think they should have waited a little longer on trying to get rid of the GVH. Also, there is a new drug out there that I am hopeful will help Taylor. My Mom happened to come across it in a Women’s Magazine. It is being used for Ovarian Cancer as well as Leukemia. We had started researching it for my Mom and I noticed that it was being used for Leukemia. After Taylor relapsed I began to research it more and realized that it was a lot like Gleevec. I informed the doctor at Duke about it. She had not heard of it either. She began to research it and thought it might be helpful for Taylor. She said we would not likely find any trials for Taylor but she would contact the company who makes it on Monday and see if they would release it for Taylor. This is where you can help. Since the drug is not yet FDA approved it could be difficult to get. I ask each of you to please pray that Dr. Kurtzburg will be successful in getting this medication. I feel so strongly about this. In the meantime they are planning to use a drug called Campath next Wednesday. This drug will kill all of Taylor’s white blood cells and the hope is the donor cells will be the ones to grow back. This drug usually makes the kids pretty sick the day of. After that they run the risk of infection due to low counts. I do not know the right choice for Taylor at this time. I would hope and pray that the donor cells would begin to fight back now that the drugs have been cut back and once again win the battle. I just know that in my heart I do not feel we have come this far to lose the battle. Please continue to pray for her and keep your faith strong. Do not give up. I have not and will not. Taylor is a very special little girl. I know she has taught me so much. I will not give up on her. Also, just want to let you know that my Mother is also having a bad time. She is trying to get in a study with this same drug. There are clinical trials out there for her. The drug is called phenoxodiol. The next miracle will be when the same drug cures both Taylor and my Mom. Once again I ask each of to continue to keep your faith strong and once again as we all pull together we can and will bring this miracle about. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Tuesday, June 10, 2003 10:34 PM CDT

I really don't know where to begin tonite. My first thought was not to share the news about Taylor until all of the results where in, but then I quickly realized the great power of prayer and how much it was once again needed in Taylor's life. Today they saw 3 unusual cells in Taylor's blood work and after a bone marrow test it was determined that she once again had leukemia in her bone marrow. At this time how much or if it is the same type is not known. We will have those results tomorrow. Taylor went to the clinic today so excited to see the doctor about getting her lines out and all of the was taking away from her. She was so disappointed. She does not know what is going on except that we are not able to get the lines out yet and her little back is killing her from the bone marrow test. Please stay with me and pray continually for her health and strength. We have been through so much and I just can't believe it is all going to be taken away from us. I will update when I know the answers and have the plan. Please pray for my Angel. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, June 5, 2003 8:00 AM CDT

Hello, I am sorry about not updating. It just seems that I am busy all the time. Taylor is doing great. She gets her central lines out next Wednesday. She is so excited. They will be putting a port under her skin. Her veins are just to weak from all the steroids. I know she will be sore for a couple of days, but it will be so wonderful for her not to have all of that stuff hanging from her little chest anymore. Two years is a long time. I will update with some new pictures really soon. My Mom also had her chemo last Friday. It has been pretty rough on her. She also has hurt her shoulder and has very little use of her arm. Please continue to pray for her and Taylor and keep the faith strong for I know that is what has brought us all to this point. I am so grateful for the blessings Taylor has received and pray daily for the same miracle for my Mom. Please e-mail me. I have not heard from hardly anyone lately. I do miss your messages. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, May 29, 2003 9:16 PM CDT

We had a good visit yesterday at Duke. Taylor received a treatment for GVH and another bone treatment. The doctors continue to be pleased with her progress. Things continue to move in the right direction for her. We still are having GVH issues, but seem to be keeping them under control. The best news we received yesterday was that Taylor is now off all IV meds. She still has plenty of meds that she receives thru the tube in her stomach, but no more pumps. What a relief. This is a first for us. The best news of all is that Taylor will get her central lines removed from her chest in about 10 days. She has had these lines in her chest since July 2001. You can only begin to imagine the dressing changes and sore skin she has had to endure. She has not been able to get them wet, therefore she has not been able to swim or really get into the bathtub and enjoy a bath in a long time. She will get a port put in, but that is under the skin and she has no limitations with it. Taylor is so excited. I was thinking how most parents are so excited at this time of year because their child has passed the school year and advancing to another grade. For me Taylor being able to have these lines removed is greater than advancing to any grade in school. It is funny how things in life change so much as our circumstances in life change. I am so excited for her. She can't hardly wait to have them removed. Her Dad is getting our pool ready for her to use. She has not been able to get in the pool for the past two summers. I am so grateful for all that Taylor has been blessed with. I am so grateful to my loving Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ. It is through their will that Taylor lives. I know this without a doubt. I do know that the great power of prayer is real and if we have enough faith we can truly work miracles. Speaking of miracles my Mom is greatly in need of one herself. She went to John Hopkins on Tuesday. The doctor did offer some suggestions with her treatment. We can only pray that they will be successful for her. She will begin a new chemo along with the one she was already on. Unfortunately, she will loose her hair again. She is not looking forward to that. Also, these chemos together will be very hard on her. Please remember her in your prayers daily. She has been fighting this battle for a year and a half now. She too needs a great miracle. She is such an important part of our family. Her grandchildren all love her dearly. As they say there is no place like Grandma's house. That has always been true for all of her grandchildren. Once again I will ask you to pray daily for her and Taylor that they will both be healed completely and their bodies will regain the health and strength they once enjoyed. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, May 27, 2003 10:54 AM CDT

Just a quick note to let you know all is well. I do have new pictures just have not had time to put them on. With the puppy and Taylor I have no time for sure now. Taylor will be at Duke tomorrow. Her bloodwork looked good today. My Mom went to John Hopkins today also. I will feel you in on everything after they return home. I will write more later. I promise. Please continue to pray for I know without a doubt that is the greatest power of all. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, May 22, 2003 5:38 PM CDT

Hello everyone! I guess I am getting even slower with the updates. Today has been a long day. Taylor finally had to get some blood. It has been 5 weeks since she last got blood. I am hoping she will have a little more energy now. She has been hanging around 9 for a about two weeks. I am sure she will feel much better now. Her rash has gotten a little out of control again also. I have been trying to cut down the steroids, but I guess she is just not ready. Her hip has really bothered her from the past weekend. At her Nana's house we had to go up and down the stairs and it really put a strain on her legs. I will be so glad when she can regain some of the strength in her bones again. She does not have a lot of energy. The doctor said today that we need to get her moving around more, but due to all of the weight gain from steroids and everything else Taylor just does not have a lot of energy. Hopefully, when we get the pool up and going she will be able to swim and start getting more exercise. Taylor is still trying to adjust to the puppy. She is sorta scared of it because it wants to jump and chew and she is not into that. I am handling it ok so far. I have not attempted to get rid of the puppy yet. Please continue to pray for Taylor that she will remain leukemia free and that her body will continually regain strength. I know that she is being watched over daily by her Father in Heaven and he blesses her daily. My Mom could not recieve chemo again this Monday. So far she has only been able to have two treatments in the past couple of months. She is going to John Hopkins on Monday for a third opinion. Hopefully, we will find something new out there that will help her. Please pray for her daily also that her body will be healed and she will be able to remain here with her family who loves her so much. I am continually grateful to all of you who check on us daily. I appreciate the e-mails. Please continue to keep the faith and pray continaully and I know that our Father in Heaven will hear and answer our prayers. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, May 16, 2003 3:04 PM CDT

Hello from Harker's Island. We got here Wednesday night. We spent the day at Duke on Wednesday then Taylor's Nana and Grandaddy meet us and took us to their house. Terry and the boys were there too. They picked up the puppy while we were in the clinic and the headed back to Virginia. The puppy is cute and I am going to do my best to like it and not give her away in the first month like I have done with all of the others. Taylor's visit went well with the Doctor on Wednesday. He was very pleased with things. Taylor has now been in remission the longest since she was first diagnosed, which will be two years ago Memorial Day. It still amazes me of the power of prayer. I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven. I can not explain the joy I feel every morning that I wake up and Taylor is beside me. There is nothing in this world that means more to me. Of couse I love all of my children the same, but I am sure you understand what I mean. I am so grateful everyday for the blessings that she has received. I read something in the New Testament last night that really made me realize just how thankful I am to have my Father in Heaven to relay upon. It was speaking of how the wisdom of man is powerful, but there is nothing greater than the power of God. How true that is. I know without a doubt that it was the power of God that cured Taylor. I am so grateful for the love he shows us. Tonight Taylor's dad and brothers are coming. I guess I can't forget the puppy she will be coming too. Taylor is very excited. She has had a lot of fun being down here. It is good for her to have some change every now and then. She has really enjoyed playing with the baby. I will have some new pictures when I get home. I can't fix them on the computer here. My Mom is doing pretty well this week. She should receive more chemo on Monday. I have missed her while we have been gone. I know that she has missed us too! We do spend a lot of time with her. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom that they will completely be healed and their bodies will regain the strength they once had. Thanks for the e-mails and I will update again after we get home. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, May 12, 2003 11:55 AM CDT

NEW PICTURES! Hello! Sorry about the slow updates. Everyone is doing well. Taylor did not have to get any transfusions today. It has been two weeks since she last got platelets. Her counts were all very good today. The ones I knew that is. Terry is still handling the counts overall. Life has been much better not worrying over every little number. This week Taylor will actually be over 5 months in remission. This will be the longest she has ever been. Things are continuing to move steadly in the right direction. Of course, I give all the credit to my Savior Jesus Christ and my Father in Heaven. I know that it is through their great love for us that Taylor is doing so well. We are heading to Duke on Wednesday. Then me and Taylor are going to her Nana's house that afternoon and her Daddy and brothers will be down on the weekend. Terry will be picking up Taylor's new puppy on Wednesday also. She is very excited. Me on the other hand I don't know what to think. I have really never been a dog person. All of my kids are excited about the new addition, but I am going to have to work out being excited. Wish me luck. I will try most anything for Taylor. Her GVH is much better also. The new medicine they gave her seems to be helping. I am hoping to get her off the steroids soon. Now about my Mom. She is at the clinic today. She was able to get her chemo. It was a close call however. Please pray for her that she will do well and this chemo will be very effective in getting her cancer in remission. I love her very much and just want her to know that I think she is the most wonderful Mother in the world. I have not heard from very many of you lately. Please drop me a quick note when you can. Also, please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom and keep the faith strong. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, May 4, 2003 3:47 PM CDT

TUESDAY May 6

NEW PICTURES!!

Just wanted to let you know there was new pictures. I am trying to learn how to add more at a time. Still need a little work to make them clearer. Just a quick note to let you know that Taylor did not need any blood products on Monday. She will go to clinic Thursday. My Mom was not able to get her chemo again either. Her platelets were 91 and they had to be 100. I did not agree with that, but I am not the one who makes the calls. Keep praying and I will update again soon! Love Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday May 4th Entry
Hello! We have been very busy and I know that I am slow with the updates. Taylor is doing well. She had a good visit at Duke on Wednesday. The doctors added another GVH med to help get it under control and to hopefully get her off the steroids. It will take about 10 days to see if there are any positive effects. She has not had to get any platelets since last Monday. We have to send in bloodwork again tomorrow. Hopefully, it will begin to show signs of bone marrow recovery. I am looking forward to cutting down the clinic visits to at least once a week. My Mom goes again tomorrow to see if her counts are up enough for her to get her chemo. Taylor and my Mom both walked in the Relay for Life this past Friday night. It was so wonderful to see them both together this year. Last year Taylor was not able to go because she was in the hosptial. I remember being there last year wondering what it would be like this year and I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven for letting Taylor be able to be here with us this year. I still am overwhelmed with the Miracle that has taken place in her life. Today I was reading something to Taylor out of the New Testament. It was about the apostles healing a man. After I read the story Taylor ask me "Why did it only take one day for his Miracle." I told her because our Father in Heaven wanted everyone to know where her miracle came from. No one could say it was medicine. The doctors had already said there was nothing else they could try. She is such a wonderful little girl. Also, I have to tell you that at the Relay, Taylor got up on the stage and actually sang "You are My Sunshine" not once but twice. She would have sang more, but did not know anymore songs. For those of you who know Taylor that is actually a miracle in itself. Thank you again for all of the support and prayers. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom. Please sign the guestbook if you get a chance. I would love to hear from you. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, April 28, 2003 10:48 PM CDT

New Pictures! A quick note to let you know everything is going great for Taylor. We have been busy with her cousins, Aunt Tiffany and Nana visiting from Harker's Island. I will update you more after our trip to Durham on Wednesday. My Mom was not able to get her chemo today because her white count was too low. She is really having a hard time right now and could use a lot of prayers. I know that together we can bring a miracle about in her life just as we have for Taylor. Please pray extra hard for her. Also, continue to pray for Taylor that her cells will continue to become stronger each and every day. I am thankful for all of you and all you do for us. Please e-mail me when you can. I miss hearing from you. Before I end I want to thank my Father in Heaven again for the wonderful blessing he has blessed Taylor with. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, April 23, 2003 10:04 PM CDT

Hello! Still a little slow on the updates. Taylor is doing great. She is still dealing with GVH. It comes and goes. I still am glad to see it however. It is a good sign that her body is having GVL (Graft versus Leukemia). This week we will have the results of the RFLP test. This shows if Taylor remains a 100% donor cell. So please keep the prayers strong that she will again have very good results. I will let you know when I know. They have also tested for Philadelphia Chromosome. We are still waiting on the results for that also. She has had a good week so far. Her cousin Caley has been over to play for the past couple of days. We will have to go to clinic here tomorrow to see the doctor and get some additional GVH meds. This was our fist week in about 3 months that we did not go to Duke. We will go again next week. It was nice taking a break. My Mom is tolerating the chemo from Monday well. She had a headache the first day. I hope this will be the chemo that will start reducing her tumor marker. Again, I ask all of you to continue to pray for her that she will also receive a miracle in her life. I know that all things are possible with the power of prayer and faith. Taylor is truly a living example. I know that miracles happen now just as they did when Jesus Christ walked the earth. We must keep our faith strong and pray continually. I am so thankful for everyone who has been a part of this great journey we have gone through over the past couple of years. I could never have made it this far without the support of so many people. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena
P.S. I was getting ready to e-mail Taylor's doctor, but he had already e-mailed me. He said that he knew how I liked good news. Taylor remains 100% donor cells and is free of Philadelphia Chromosome in the most sensitive test. I just want to thank my Father in Heaven for such wonderful blessings.

Wednesday, April 23, 2003 9:27 PM CDT

Hello! Still a little slow on the updates. Taylor is doing great. She is still dealing with GVH. It comes and goes. I still am glad to see it however. It is a good sign that her body is having GVL (Graft versus Leukemia). This week we will have the results of the RFLP test. This shows if Taylor remains a 100onor cells. So please keep the prayers strong that she will again have very good results. I will let you know when I know. They have also tested for Philadelphia Chromosome. We are still waiting on the results for that also. She has had a good week so far. Her cousin Caley has been over to play for the past couple of days. We will have to go to clinic here tomorrow to see the doctor and get some additional GVH meds. This was our fist week in about 3 months that we did not go to Duke. We will go again next week. It was nice taking a break. My Mom is tolerating the chemo from Monday well. She had a headache the first day. I hope this will be the chemo that will start reducing her tumor marker. Again, I ask all of you to continue to pray for her that she will also receive a miracle in her life. I know that all things are possible with the power of prayer and faith. Taylor is truly a living example. I know that miracles happen now just as they did when Jesus Christ walked the earth. We must keep our faith strong and pray continually. I am so thankful for everyone who has been a part of this great journey we have gone through over the past couple of years. I could never have made it this far without the support of so many people. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena P. S. I was just checking my e-mail and Taylor's doctor had e-mailed me. He said he knew that I like good news. Taylor remains 100onor cells and has no evidence in the most sensitive test for Phildalephia Chromosome. I can not begin to tell you how thankful I am. I want to thank my Heavenly Father for all he has done for my sweet little girl.

Monday, April 21, 2003 1:48 PM CDT

NEW PICTURES!! Just a quick note to let you know that Taylor had a great Easter. I will update this afternoon or tomorrow. We have been waiting for platelets all day and they are ready now. I just wanted to changed the pictures and let you know that other than bad GVH Taylor is doing great. Also, my Mom received her chemo today. Keep praying for those miracles and will update soon. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, April 15, 2003 6:38 PM CDT

Hello! Just a quick update. We are off to Duke again tomorrow. I have not been able to type much. My back and neck sometimes really get to hurting bad and when it does it is really aggravated by typing. So tonight I will make it short. Taylor is still doing well. Her GVH rash is much better today. She was able to go to the park for a couple of hours with some of her little friends. I felt so sorry for her before she went. She was so concerned about who would help her get up and down the slide. She has lost so much use of her muscles from all of the steroids. The other day she asked me what she was going to do about the Easter Egg Hunt at her Grandma's this year. I ask her what she meant. She said she would not be able to run and get the eggs this year. I will be so glad when her muscles begin to strengthen from the medicines she is recieving and they will be able to stop the steroids all together. She has endured so many things and I can't wait for the day when she is well and strong again. Tomorrow at Duke she will begin some of the 9 month studies. She will have a long day tomorrow because she will most likely get platelets and blood too. I will be glad when this radiation effect begins to wear off and her counts start too come up again. Today I reflect back to 5 months ago on November 15. We were told Taylor would most likely not be with us for more than 4 to 6 weeks. That there was nothing left that could be done for her. That was the most difficult day of my entire life. I can still remember all to well the pain I felt. As bad as that day was, I did not give up. I did not know what was going to happen, but I did know we still had the great power of prayer and faith to relay on. The doctors I think were sorta upset with us because we did not want to say it was over. They thought we did not want to accept the facts. Today I sit here and I am amazed at the great love my Savior has for us. Why Taylor was saved and given the opportunity to live I do not know. I have seen so many sweet little children taken away from this world with cancer and other diseases who I thought should have lived. All I know is that I am so grateful to my Savior and Father in Heaven for given me a second chance with my little girl. My life has been changed in a way that I could never explain, but I can tell you it is all for the best. I love my family. There is nothing in the world, not one earthly thing that could ever replace the health and strength of our children. Cherish your children. Tell them each day how much you love them. I pray daily that Taylor will be continually blessed with health and strength and completely free from this disease and the many side effects that come with it. I am especially grateful to my Father in Heaven at this time of the year for the great sacrifice he made for us, the life of his own son, our Savior Jesus Christ. The pain he must have felt as he watch his son suffer for each of us. I can now more than ever begin to appreciate the pain he must have felt. What great love they both have for us. I am so grateful for the great power of faith and pray that we have to express the desires of our heart. I know that this is what has made a difference in Taylor's life. I am grateful for each of you and for the many prayers and faith you have had for Taylor. I pray that all of your lives will be blessed continually. Also, pray that my Mom will receive a miracle in her life. She was not able to get her chemo on Monday due to low counts. Her white count was not high enough to begin. She should start next Monday. I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter. Also, I would like to think the Pick-Me-Up People for the package. Taylor really enjoyed it. I like the chocolates myself. Love Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, April 10, 2003 7:46 PM CDT

Hello everyone!! We made another visit to Duke yesterday. Everything went well. They did a test yesterday to see if there is any Philadelphia Chromosome present in Taylor's blood. In addition, next week they will be checking to see if she is still 100% donor cells. If all of these tests come back with positive results, they may begin to be more aggressive with fighting the GVH. Taylor has been suffering with this for about 4 months now. She has been itching all day today. Of course, it always looks better when we go to see the doctor. This morning when she woke up, she was really looking bad. During the day the rash has gone down quite a bit. Like I have said this is a good thing, but Taylor also needs to be comfortable. We are trying to keep the GVH, but keep the side effects down as much as possible. Her bloodwork was also good yesterday. She has not received platelets since Monday. We will do more bloodwork tomorrow. I am very hopeful that they will begin to increase on their own and we can begin having less and less clinic visits. I tried to get out of going to Duke next week, but he said maybe the next week. They will begin doing her 9-month post transplant studies next week. They are going to hold off on the immune function test until she has recovered from the radiation. I ask the doctor about getting her central lines out of her chest for the summer. He said that was a good possibility. It would be great to get a port. Then Taylor could swim this summer. Although we still have to be very careful in the sun because it triggers GVH. My Mom will begin her chemo this coming Monday. She is very nervous about it. She really does not feel very well. I think all of the chemo is beginning to get her down physically and mentally. I know it must be tuff to go through all of the treatment and then have the tumor marker continue to increase. She really needs some special prayers. Please continue to pray for her and Taylor. They both have been through so much. I love them both so very much. I just want to see them well and full of energy. Once again I just need to let you know that I am so thankful for my Father in Heaven. I know that he loves us unconditionally. Also, that I am thankful for my Savior Jesus Christ. I know that through him all things are possible. Thank you for the e-mails and please keep in touch. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, April 7, 2003 5:36 PM CDT

Hello, sorry about the slow updates. Last week was very busy for us. Taylor spent nearly 30 hours in the clinic here and at Duke. Tuesday we had to get platelets which seemed to take all day. Then Wednesday we were at Duke. Things went well there. That night Taylor's underarm started hurting. I think she had some GVH that caused her skin to be open and she developed a staff infection. When she woke up on Thursday, she had a huge bubble under her arm full of fluid. Of course, we had to go in the clinic and they drained it and found it to be staff infection. She was in a lot of pain that day. Then on Friday, we had to go back to the clinic and get blood and platelets again. Needless to say Taylor and myself where tired of the clinic for one week. The doctors at Duke told us it would take anywhere from 4 to 8 weeks for her counts to recover from the radiation. That seems like a long time. However, I am grateful that she is here and doing so well. The other night I was rubbing her down with some of the cream for GVH that she really hates and she ask, "Why is it always me?" Of course, I did not know what to say to her. I think she is really starting to get tired of this whole process. Her two cousins both started tee-ball on Saturday and she was at home itching to death with a rash. I know she misses all the things she used to do. I long for the day when she will be able to go outside and not wear a mask or just be able to go with me to Wal Mart or the grocery store. She has been a very brave and strong little girl for such a long time. The most amazing thing of all is the way she has handled herself through all of this. I know without a doubt that she is one of our Father in Heaven's most precious daughters. She has endured more suffering over the last 2 years than most of us do in a lifetime. I ask all of you to continue to pray for her that her counts will recover quickly and she will be able to run and play and do all the things a little six year old girl should do. My Mom also went to the doctor today. Her tumor marker had increased from 2800 to 2900. That was not what we had hoped for, but it was a very little increase compared to the past. The doctor is going to start her on a new chemo. It sounds like it might be a little tuff on her, but hopefully it will be the one that turns things around for her. Her tooth is better after the surgery last week. I hope that too will heal and she will have some relief. I want to think all of you who continue to pray and keep up with Taylor's and my Mom's progress. Please sign in the guestbook if you get a chance. I really do enjoy hearing from you. Please continue to pray and keep the faith strong that they will win this battle against cancer. I know that our Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers. I know this without a doubt. I am so grateful for this knowledge. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, April 1, 2003 3:41 PM CST

Hello! Sorry about the slow update. I guess no news is good news. Taylor keeps me busy all the time. I have very little time to myself to do anything. She gets bored and I am running out of things to do. It will be nice when the weather stays nice and we can start being outdoors more. Then when it starts getting to warm she will not go outside because the mask is too hot. I can't wait until she doesn't need her mask anymore and can go anywhere she wants. Staying in the house all the time gets boring. The only places she goes are to the clinics and grandma's house. After nearly two years of isolation it will be so great for her to be able to get out and go places. Tomorrow we get to go to Duke. It is just for a routine visit with the doctor. Of course they will do blood work and give her some IV GVH meds. Hopefully, that is all she will have to get tomorrow. Yesterday her bloodwork was good. Her counts still have not recovered from the radiation yet. Her platelets were down to 8. Your plateles are low at 150. Well, they could not get any yesterday and she had to wait until today. Her little hand was covered in petechiae (little broken blood vessels) this morning from where she slept on it. Hopefully, within a week or so her counts will recover and she can once again begin to make her own platelets. Now a little about my Mom. She went to the oral surgeon today and had her tooth fixed. Hopefully, this will fix her problem. She also had her tumor marker test done on Monday. She will have the results to that next week when she goes to the doctor. Once again I ask all of you to continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom. They both have been through so much and have come so far. I do know that our Father in Heaven will continue to bless them as we ask. I am so grateful to each of you for all you do. I appreciate the e-mails and ask you to continue to e-mail me when you get the chance. I enjoy reading them. Thanks again for the support and love you have shown our family. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, March 27, 2003 9:37 PM CST

Hello! We spent all day yesterday at Duke. Taylor's visit went well. She had to get some IV meds to strengthen her bones, platelets, Daclizumab (med for GVH), and a breathing treatment. Needless to say it was a long day. The doctor was very pleased with the way Taylor looked yesterday. Her GVH seems to be a little better right now. We are trying to treat it with the less amount of immune suppressant drugs as possible. This will give the new cells the best chance to fight off any bad cells that may remain in Taylor's body. Her wbc is very low right now. The affects of the radiation are hitting her blood hard this week, but that was to be expected. Hopefully, by next week her bone marrow will begin to recover from the radiation and her counts will begin to increase. Right now she is at high risk for most any type of infection. We will have to return to Duke again next Wednesday as well. For now I guess we will be going once a week for a while, but whatever is best for Taylor is ok with me. A trip to Duke once a week is a small price to pay. My Mom went to the Oral Surgeon today and her tooth is still not healing. This coming Tuesday she will have surgery on her tooth. She has been suffering with this tooth for about 2 months now. Being on chemo really makes it hard for things to heal. Hopefully, this will be what it takes to fix this problem. Next week she will have her tumor marker taken. It will probably be another week before we know the results. Please continue to pray for her and Taylor that they will both be blessed with health and strength. I know that pray works. Taylor is a true example of a modern day miracle her on this earth. Our Father in Heaven does truly love each and everyone of us. As we pray for the desires of our heart he does listen, but most of all we must completely trust him and turn things over to him. That sounds so easy to do, but it was very hard for me to finally let the words, "Thy will be done" come from my lips. I was scared to death, because I did not know our Fathers will. But the very moment I finally put all my trust in our Father in Heaven he blessed Taylor with the ultimate Miracle. I have learn so much through this great trial. I still do not understand why children have to suffer with cancer and so many other dieseases, but I do know that they are loved by their Father in Heaven. He truly loves each of us more than we can ever begin to comprehend and I am so grateful to have this knowledge in my life. Once again I ask each of you to continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom and keep the faith strong. Please keep in touch. I still enjoy hearing from all of you. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, March 23, 2003 9:54 PM CST

Just a quick note to let you know that we are home and all is well. Taylor is still doing fine. She enjoyed the nice weather on Saturday. She had a good time out playing. Before we left Friday she got platelets. Hopefully, she will not have to get anymore before we go to Duke on Wednesday. We have to go then for the doctor to check her over good with all of the GVH. Her counts will probably drop for another week or so and then hopefully she will begin to make her own platelets and red blood cells. Taylor should not have to face anymore major treatments. The radiation was hopefully the last of her battle of fighting off this cancer. Taylor has fought a brave battle and she has been so blessed with the love of her Father in Heaven. Also, with all of the many people who have come to know her and love her and prayed for her daily. I know without a doubt in my heart this has made a great difference for Taylor. I ask all of you to continue to pray for her daily as she continues to become stronger and her new immune systems fights off any bad cells that may remain. I am so grateful to each and everyone of you. My Mom received her chemo last week also. Please continue to pray for her daily that she too will receive the miracle in her life that will heal her. E-mail me when you can, I love to hear from you. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, March 19, 2003 6:30 PM CST

Hello again! Taylor has had another good day. Her day at the clinic went well. The doctor is very impressed with Taylor's overall progress. He said she is doing much better than he thought at this stage of radiation. Tomorrow will be her last day. Her counts have dropped, but are not too bad at this point. She will probably need platelets again Friday. We were going home on Thursday, but the doctor wants to see her Friday just to check on the GVH rash. Her hip started hurting yesterday. They think it is probably due to all of the steroids she has been on. It started after riding her bike and only hurts when she walks. They want her to take it easy on the bike and if it is still hurting on Friday they will x-ray it. The started her on some new vitamins for her bones and next Wednesday they will give her some new IV medicine to help strengthen her bones. For now I think she will have to return weekly until the GVH has calmed down. I think I have also been a little less stressed this week also. I know finding out the test still remained 100% donor cells helped. I still have not been looking at labs and I think that does help some. I am just so grateful to my Father in Heaven for being there to help me through all of this. Most of all I am continually grateful for the love He has shown Taylor and the miracle He has blessed her with. Taylor has come such a long way since she relapsed in November. It is hard for me to believe all that has happened over the past several months. I am so grateful to all of you who have prayed for her continually and keep the faith strong. I know without a doubt this has made the difference for Taylor. Tonite our little friend Mckenzie is very sick. She has endured 3 transplants back to back. We saw her Monday at the apartments and she looked so good. It is hard to believe she has had such a turn for the worse. You can check her website at www.caringbridge.com/nc/mckenziefay. Please pray for her and her family that she will be blessed with a miracle over the next several days. Now about my Mom. She recieved her chemo today. They will check her tumor marker in 2 weeks and in 3 weeks she will see the doctor to find out the results. Please pray for her that she too will recieve a miracle in her life and she will also be cured. She is such a wonderful mother and grandmother. She has been there for me every step of the way. I love her and appreciate her so much. She never thinks of herself and continually thinks of others. She truly sets a Christ Like example. Well, I will continue to update and let you know how things go for Taylor. Thank you again for all of your support and prayers. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, March 17, 2003 9:18 PM CST

Hello, we are at Duke again!! Hopefully, this will be our last week. Taylor has 3 more treatments of radiation and she will be done. She had to get platelets again today. They were at 38 today and the cutoff for radiation was 40. It will probably take a few weeks for her counts to stablize again. She had a great weekend at home. She had company from Harkers Island and she really enjoyed them. This week Tyler and Shannon (Taylor's cousin) came down with us. Hopefully, they will help to keep Taylor busy. On Wednesday Taylor will see the doctor again. My Mom will be getting her chemo on Wednesday. Then in about a week or so they will do another tumor marker to see if the numbers are dropping. Please continue to pray for her and Taylor that things will move in the right direction for both of them and they will be completely healed. I am so thankful for all of you and the love you have shown our family. I am also continually grateful to my Father in Heaven who has brought about this wonderful miracle in Taylor's life. I will keep you updated throughout the week. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, March 14, 2003 5:13 PM CST

Just a real quick note. Taylor's test came back on her donor cells and she remains 100%. This news makes for a great weekend. I just wanted to let all of you know. Also, a friend took some pictures of Taylor and put them on the website. Her little hair is starting to come out and she has a lot of rash, but otherwise she is doing great. I also would like to thank my Father in Heaven for the wonderful blessings he continues to bless Taylor with. Pray continually for Taylor and my Mom. Thanks again for all of your support. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, March 12, 2003 3:58 PM CST

Still no new pictures. Hopefully, I will have the camera situation fixed when we go home for the weekend. Taylor saw the doctor today at the clinic and radiation. They both were pleased with her progress. She is doing really well. Today she has really been in a great mood. Her teacher thought she was extra talkative, which for Taylor that is great. She likes to give most people the silence treatment. She even used her roller skates at the clinic today. They gave her some more of the medication at the clinic to help control the GVH. Unfortunately, we did not get to cut back anymore on the steroids yet. We do have to get blood tomorrow. The doctor said that this was to be expected with the radiation. Her test they took to make sure she is still 100% donor cells should be back any day now. Please continue to pray that she will remain 100%. My Mom did not get her chemo today as planned. They wanted to give her tooth another week to heal. She did go to an oral surgeon and he thinks it will heal on its own. For me I am trying each day to be more positive. I still have a way to go, but I am sure as time goes on the fear will be less and less. Thanks again for everything and please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom. E-mail me when you can I enjoy hearing from you. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, March 10, 2003 7:43 PM CST

Hello! Just to let you know I am having a problem with my camera and hope to have some pictures soon. We are back in Durham again. Radiation went well again. The tech's said they have never seen any kids or most adults lay as still as Taylor. They were all really impressed with her. Of course she will not say a word to any of them. Her labs were good again today. I did not look at them again. I did quiz Terry quite a bit, but he is holding out on me and want tell me anything. I thought I would be able to get him to break down. We don't have to get labs again until Wednesday so I can relax tomorrow. Terry's mom came down with us this time. Actually, Jonathan came at the last minute also. It really helps having them with us. It helps to keep my mind off things. Taylor's hair is really beginning to go. Her eyebrows are almost gone. I would not be suprised if she does not have any by the time we go home. I really wish she did not have to lose it all again, but it will grow back. Her GVH is much better today. She will see the doctor on Wednesday. My Mom will be getting another round of chemo on Wednesday. Then in about a week they will check her tumor marker again. Please pray that the numbers will start coming down. Also, her tooth is starting to be a problem again. She has to go to an oral surgeon tomorrow. Hopefully, he will be able to correct the problem. For me I am still trying to deal with things and not be so down. I don't want Taylor to sense me always worrying and she does know exactly how I feel most of the time. You do not get much past her. Hopefully, as time continues to go by and Taylor stays healthy the worry will become less and less. I know that it will never completely go away, but I do feel time will help. I guess I will worry about her the rest of her life. At least that is what other parents tell me that have been through this. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom and keep the faith strong. I do know that is what has brought us this far. I pray daily that Taylor and my Mom will be healed completely. I know without a doubt that our Father in Heaven has heard the prayers for them and will continue to bless them. Please say a couple of extra ones for me too and hopefully I will begin to learn to cope and not worry so much. E-mail me when you can and thanks again for all you have done. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, March 7, 2003 9:13 AM CST

Hello! We have almost made the first week of radiation. The good news is that Taylor has tolerated it very well. They told us if it has not made her sick by now it probably will not. Her counts will most likely begin to drop next week, but that is to be expected. On the down side of radiation I don't think we will have hair very long. I have already noticed a piece or two coming out. Oh well, it is just Hair. Far as her bloodwork goes I have quit looking. I told the doctors yesterday that I did not want to look at anymore labs. They were making me crazy and I need to begin to quit looking at every single detail so much. I know how Taylor looks and feels and the doctors will let me know if anything is wrong. Terry will also be talking with them to keep up on everything. Taylor now only has one doctor and nurse practitioner that follow her. I don't know if that is because they are growing tired of my over anxious self or just because Taylor's case is so unique. However, I really like it. This week her rash has been bad and the same person has looked at it each day and knows exactly how it has changed. Today they gave her another dose of a GVH med to help with the rash. She only gets it once a week and it does not suppress the immune system like steroids. They are trying to get her off of those completely. They also did another RFLP test this week to see if she is still 100% donor cells. We should have that back by the end of next week. Please keep the prayers going for that to remain all donor cells. My Mom has hung in here with us all week. I know she will be glad to get back home. She has not felt very well. It has been tough on her, but I am thankful she was here. She will receive another dose of chemo this coming Wednesday. Please pray that it will work and the tumor marker will begin to come down. We get to go home tomorrow after the radiation. Taylor's appointment is at 12 noon. After that we will be on the way home. We will have to return again on Monday by 3pm for her next appointment. I am so grateful for all of the e-mails and prayers for me this week also. I am trying to be strong and not fall apart now. We have come so far and I want to be strong and enjoy life again. I just want to let you know that I do not lack in faith, but that I am just a mother. I know that our Father in Heaven has continually been there and he will not leave us now. Please continue to pray for both my Mom and Taylor. I know that as we continue to pull together the miracles will continue to come their way. Thanks again for all of your support. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, March 4, 2003 8:51 PM CST

Hello, we are at Duke again. It has been a long day. We got her around 11am. We had to go to the clinic to get labs drawn and then we went to radiation. Taylor did very well. The only bad thing was she had to lay there for 45 minutes again. I did not know the first day they have to recheck all of the numbers to be sure that everything lines up with the numbers from simulation. Taylor was not thrilled about it, but of course she did it. Tomorrow it should only be about a 15 minute process. Taylor's labs were good today also. Her platelts had gone from 63 on Friday to 124 today. That is always a good sign everything is ok. Taylor is very red again today with GVH. Her doctor wants to see her again tomorrow. She is having a lot of GVH and that is a good thing as long as they keep it under control. My Mom had to come at the last minute because Shannon's sister had strep throat. I know she wasn't really feeling good enough to come, but I have been so down lately she wanted to come for me and Taylor of course. We are all sitting around here tonite at the apartment and are bored to death. Nothing good on TV and nothing to do. It is going to be a long 3 weeks. At least we get to go home on the weekend. I just wanted to ask tonite if you would include me in your prayers. I have been having a hard time coping with everything. I think now that everything has settled down, I think all of the emotions I have held back for the past 22 months are starting to come at once. It is so hard not to worry when you have been through something like this. I also want you to know that I do trust my Father in Heaven and do not lack in Faith. I think it is just the fear that comes with being a Mother. Please pray that Taylor will tolerate the radiation well and continue to recover completely from her illness as well as my Mother. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, March 2, 2003 9:44 PM CST

Hello, just a very quick note tonite to let you know that Taylor is doing well. We are preparing to go to Duke on Tuesday to begin her radiation. I am very hopeful that it will be easy on Taylor and she will have very little side effects from it. Once again Layne will be taking me to Duke. I sure don't know what I would do without him. My niece Shannon is coming along too. Taylor enjoys her being there with us. My Mom is still having trouble with her tooth, but it is slowly improving. She will also have another round of chemo a week from this Wednesday. This will be the last round and then they will check her tumor marker again. Please pray that the numbers will be coming down and she will also be on the road to recovery. I just want to thank everyone again for all of the e-mails and prayers. I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven for all he has done. I know that he does hear and answers our prayers and is very aware of our needs. I am so thankful that I have this knowledge in my life. Please continue to pray for both my Mom and Taylor. I will keep you informed of Taylor's progress while she is at Duke. Thanks again for all of your support. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, February 26, 2003 9:41 PM CST

We are home from Duke again! The simulation for Taylor's radiation went well today. She was once again a real hero at the way she dealt with everything. I have put some pictures in too show what she had to do. She had to lay on her stomach with her face in this mask they had to mold to fit her face and mark her back with lines for radiation. The whole process took 45 minutes. I don't know how she did it, but she handled it really well. The actual radiation will only take about 15 minutes each day. I am thankful for that because she will have to lay in this same position each time. She begins next Tuesday and we have to go for 13 days. We will come home on the weekends. Her bloodwork was good today. I was a nervous wreck waiting for it. It was the first time in over a year that I have waited for a whole week without doing her labs. It is hard not looking at the bloodwork so frequently because that is where all the answers are for her illness. I know that as time goes on the labs will become less and less and that is great. The doctors were pleased with the way she looked. They think she is really doing well at this time. My Mom is doing a little better today also. She went to a different dentist finally and they are getting the dry socket under control. She has been feeling so bad for so long now. I am glad to see her feeling a little better now. Hopefully, in a few more days it will be completely healed. Far as her chemo goes, she still has one more treatment to do before they will check her tumor marker again. I will update with more later, but I am ready to go to bed after a long day. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom. I am so thankful for the power of prayer and faith that I have in my life. I just do not know what I would do if I did not have the knowledge I have of a Father in Heaven who loves and cares so much for each of us. I know that I must continually put my trust completely in him and things will be ok. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, February 23, 2003 4:20 PM CST

Hello! It is Sunday afternoon and we are getting ready to go to Grandma's house. That is the usual for everyone. Taylor enjoys going and playing with her cousins and eating the homemade bread my Mom always makes. Taylor is doing well right now. The rash she has is almost completely gone and she feels pretty good. The eating has slowed down some with the lower dose of steroids. We will be leaving on Tuesday to go to Duke. She will see the doctors at Duke and on Wednesday she has her radiation appointment to get everything ready for Monday. They have to make plates to cover the parts of her body they do not want radiation to get too. The appointment will take 2 hours. Then the following Monday we have to be at Duke for 2 1/2 weeks for the radiation. Hopefully, we will get to come home on the weekends. I can't believe we are off again. It has been so nice being at home. However I am sure 2 1/2 weeks will seem like very little compared to the past stays at Duke. The dentist finally figured my Mom had a dry socket in her tooth. It has been better, but still not completely pain free. She has really had a rough couple of weeks. Well, I just wanted to let you know that things continue to move in the right direction for Taylor and I will keep you updated on all the radiation and how it goes. I should also have all ther results to Taylor's immune system test when we get back from Duke. I do know that some of them were already in the normal range which is really great for only 6 months out of transplant. Once again I would like to thank my Father in Heaven for all he has done for Taylor. I know that it is through his will and great love that she is here and doing so well. Please continue to pray for her and my Mom that they will be blessed with health and strength and win this awful battle against cancer. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, February 20, 2003 4:54 PM CST

Hello! Everything is still going well. Taylor just recieved what will hopefully be her last dose of chemo in her spine yesterday. It was a long day. We had to wait until 3pm for the doctor to put her to sleep and she could not eat until then. With Taylor being on steroids that was tough. When they put her out she starting saying "French Fries" in her sleep. We all got a good laugh out of that. Her rash has starting coming back again also. I am trying to hold off on going to Duke until Tuesday. I hope it want get to bad before then, but remember the rash is good as long as it does not get out of hand. When they have GVH (Graft versus Host) they also have GVL (Graft versus Leukemia). This is a good thing to help fight away Leukemia in the future. I just don't want the rash to get out of hand and make Taylor too uncomfortable. I am still trying to overcome my everyday worrying and enjoy life more. I can't say that I have learned how to be free of fear yet, but I am working on it each day. I know that my Heavenly Father will be there to help me along the way. I am so grateful to have the faith and knowledge that we truly do have a Father in Heaven. I know that Taylor would not be here if it were not for his great love for her. My Mom has really had a bad week. The tooth she had pulled is really giving her a lot of trouble. She has not been able to sleep or anything. She is at the dentist now trying to see if they can figure out what is wrong. Please continue to pray for her and Taylor that they will improve daily and that their health will be restored completely to their bodies. Also, I ask all of you if you will pray for our friend Melissa. She is a little 13 year old girl who had a transplant at Duke also. She lives here in Portsmouth. She is having a lot of problems right now and needs prayers badly. It really hurts me to see these children suffer the way they do. She is such a sweet little girl and has been through so much. Thanks again for all of the support you offer me. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, February 16, 2003 11:35 AM CST

NEW Pictures!! Hello from Harker’s Island. We are down here this weekend visiting Taylor’s Nana. Taylor has really had a great time. She has enjoyed being away from home and out of the house. Her Aunt Tiffany has a new baby and Taylor has had the most fun feeding and taking care of him. She told me that was her Valentine’s present bringing her here to play with the baby. It has been just the right medicine for her being down here. She is still doing great. Her platelets and blood where both starting to go up on Friday. She will have to have one more round of chemo in her spine next week before radiation begins the first week of March. This should be the last treatment for Leukemia that Taylor will ever have to receive. I am still so grateful to my Father in Heaven for the miracle he has blessed Taylor with. I know without a doubt that he does hear and answer prayers. I am so thankful for all of you and the great part you have played in healing Taylor. I know without a doubt that it has been the great power of prayer and faith of so many people that has played a major role in her healing. I will spend the rest of my life serving our Father in Heaven and others for all he has done for my little girl. I still am struggling with fear, but I know that too will pass as time goes by and Taylor grows stronger each day. My Mom received her dose of chemo this past Wednesday. I ask all of you to continue to pray for her that this chemo will work and start to shrink the tumors in her body. She truly needs her miracle. She also had a tooth pulled this past week and really had a hard time. The whole side of her face has been swollen and bruised. She has had a hard time. I am so grateful to all of you and want to thank all of you for the e-mails this past week. They really meant a lot to me. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom and I know they will be blessed. Thank you so much for caring for our family. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Monday, February 10, 2003 5:02 PM CST

Hello! Where is my support group? Have not heard much from anyone lately. Please don't forget me. I still enjoy hearing from you and need your constant support all the time. Taylor is still doing pretty good. Her rash has really gone down. She looks so much better. The itching has really slow down and I am so thankful for that. She was having a hard time there for a while. We went to the clinic today and everything went well. She had to get blood today. Her blood type has changed again back to her donor type. This is another good sign to show that her donor cells are taking over in every aspect. Also, she has almost been a month now without getting platelets. She has an infection in one of her central lines. They hope to clear it up with antibiotics so we want have to pull it. She is with her school teacher right now. She just started with her last week. Taylor really likes her. She asked all weekend when she would be back. I am glad she is finally getting back to school. I want her to stay up to date so she does not get behind. It is really great seeing her do so well. It is so hard to believe all of the things that have happened over the past few months. I am continually grateful to my Father in Heaven for what he has done for our little girl. She has truly been blessed with a MIRACLE. I will spend my life trying to repay him for all he has done for her. Taylor has taught me so much. Trials are something no one likes to face, but I can say they do make us better people. I honestly have to say that I still struggle with great fear each and everyday. I try hard not to be scared and worry, but I guess it is going to take time for me to let my guard down and just enjoy living again. I know that I am very weak as a person, but I am trying so hard not to worry and enjoy everyday now. I am so thankful for each of you who have cared for Taylor and prayed for her continually. My Mom will be getting her chemo this Wednesday. She still is doing fairly well. She does not have the energy that she once had, but she continues to try to do all she can to help me with Taylor each day. I appreciate her so much. I ask all of you to cointinue to pray for her daily also. Thank you again for all of your support and if you get a chance sign in and let me know you are still out there. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, February 7, 2003 10:44 AM CST

Hello everyone! We are still hanging in there. Taylor went to Duke yesterday. Our visit went well. Her GVH was starting to get bad on her skin again so they started her on another drug to help with it. It seems that the rash is really gone down a lot today. The itching was getting pretty severe for her. She cried herself to sleep last night, because she was itching so badly, but today it has been much better. Her skin is flaking off everywhere. We had our visit with the radiation doctor yesterday. Everything went pretty well. Of course you always get to hear all of the side effects. They range from losing all of your hair to being shorter to learning disabilities to bad things happening to your lungs. Of course this is just what I like to hear, but what options do I have. Taylor has been so blessed and I know without a doubt that our Father in Heaven will continue to bless her daily. I told her that she would have to lose her hair again and the only things she said was, "Good now I don't have to wash my hair and I can wear all of my pretty hats again." She is really a trooper. We will have to stay in Durham for 2 1/2 weeks the first of March, but this is one thing we can handle. I am still trying hard to be strong and not to worry. I get so worked up everytime I wait for her bloodwork to come back. I am trying hard though to be strong and not worry so much. I do trust my Father in Heaven completely and want him to know that. All of the doctors that see Taylor just keep saying that she is making her own history book and one day people can look back at her and have hope. I am just so thankful for the Miracle that she has been blessed with. My mom is still hanging in there also. She does not feel that great, but continues to go. She will get her chemo in two weeks. I ask all of you to pray for her that this chemo will begin to work on the tumors and reduce them and she too can enjoy a miracle in her life. She is a very special mother and grandmother and we love her very much. I can't begin to imagine a life without her in it. All of her grandchildren love her dearly and there is nothing they enjoy more than going to grandma's house and driving her crazy and eating all of her food. Please continue to pray for her and Taylor that they will both recover from this awful disease and enjoy a healthy life once again. Thanks again for all of your support. Always remember as we unite in prayer great and wonderful things can and will happen. I know without a doubt that all of the prayers that have been offered from so many people is what has made the difference. All of you have been a great part of my daughters miracle. I can never thank you enough. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, February 7, 2003 10:42 AM CST

Thursday, February 6, 2003 4:08 PM CST

Monday, February 3, 2003 3:11 PM CST

Sorry about the slow updates. Just have been busy lately. Taylor has been getting pretty bored of just sitting in the house all of the time. I think we are both going a little stir crazy lately. If we do get out it is only to the hospital. We went to Duke last week. All went well there. Taylor did have another new rash on her. They were not sure if it was GVH or something else. They have started her on steroids agian. So you can be expecting to see a little puffy face again real soon. The rash was just getting to uncomfortable for her. She is asleep right now I had to give her benedryl to keep her from itching so much. Her teacher starts coming again today. She is exctied about that. I just have to get her awake. She went to the doctor today to change the tube on her stomach. It is alot nicer. Not near as big as the other one. Her counts were good today also. Her platelets had gone up to 171 from 39 Friday. Also, hemoglobin went from 8.5 to 9.5. I was hoping for some blood. She has been so cold lately. Just can't seem to keep her warm. She will be getting chemo in her spine tomorrow. Hopefully, this will be the last. She goes to Duke to see the radiation Dr. on Wednesday. I think after she gets that she will stop all treatment on her spinal fluid. We will have to stay a Duke a week or so. Such a small price to pay for all we have been through over the past several months. I am still so grateful to my Father in Heaven and all he has done for her and us as a family. She is such a great blessing to our whole family. We all love her to death even if she is just a little spoiled. I am also thankful to all of you who have prayed constantly for her throughout all of this. Also, my Mom will start her new chemo in about another week. Please continue to pray that her miracle will come also. I will try to update with some new pictures soon. Thanks again for all of the support. Love, Taylor's Mom Neean

Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 06:26 PM (CST)

Hello eveyone! New pictures! Taylor is doing pretty good. Her counts have dropped some due to the chemo from last week. She has a lot of dry skin and peeling everywhere. She has been quite itchy. I can say my arm is about wore out from all of the scratching. The rash is much better, but she does still have some new rash on her arms and legs. I guess this is a good thing. We will check labs again tomorrow. Her platelets had dropped from 129 to 59. I was kinda disappointed, but with the chemo I guess that was to be expected. I just hope they will recover on their own now. She will probably need blood this week too. We are suppose to go to Duke on Thursday for her 6 months studies. So I guess me and Layne will be taking her by ourselves this week. I have to say that I am still very grateful to my Father in Heaven for this wonderful miracle in Taylor's life. I just wish I could learn to relax and enjoy myself. I seem to worry about something even when their is nothing to worry about. I guess with all of the ups and downs I just have not been able to take my guard down completely. I just want my Father in Heaven to know that I do trust him completely. I feel so weak for being this way. I guess as a Mother it is hard to just let you guard down completely. Well, my Mom went for her tumor marker on Monday. The news was not what we hoped. It had gone from 2400 to 2800. The only positive thing was that it had gone up slowly. The doctor wants to use the same chemo a couple more times since it is working a little. After that they will move to something different. The sad thing is that none of them are working enough to get her in remission. They only seem to slow it down. Please continue to pray for her that something new will come out or that she will simply have a miracle in her life. She constanly thinks of others before herself and she so much deserves a miracle for herself. Once again I would just like to say how grateful I am to my Father in Heaven and I will try harder everyday to become stronger and not worry. I know without a doubt He loves Taylor and all of us, and has continually blessed her. Please continue to stay with me and pray for Taylor and my Mom daily. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 07:49 PM (CST)

Hello! All is still well with Taylor. She still has the rash, but it is drying up and she is starting to peel everywhere. Today she has been very uncomfortable with all of the itching. I have tried to keep the creams on her and give her medicine for the itching. She went to sleep after the last dose of medicine. I started getting nervous about her having the medicine and being asleep. It was bringing back memories of the night she went into respiratory arrest. I just keep watching her chest to make sure she was breathing. On Tuesday she had more chemo in her spine. The fluid in her spine still remains leukemia free. She has also gone from a 47 platelet count last Thursday to 129 platelets as of yesterday afternoon. This is a really good sign that her bone marrow is starting to kick in. We were suppose to go to Duke today, but due to the weather it was put off until next week. Well, I guess I need to update a little on my Mom. She had blood taken on Wednesday and will find out this coming Monday if her tumor marker is going down. She really needs some very special prayers. If this chemo does not help her choices are becoming limited. Please pray extra hard for her to recieve some good news. We really do love her and want her to recieve her miracle also. Also, tonite I would like to ask you for some special prayers for our little friend Mckenzie. She has had 3 transplants back to back and has finally started growing some donor cells. Then this week she started getting fluid around her heart. The doctors told her parents yesterday that things did not look very good for her. Please pray for her and her family that they will recieve the miracle the need so badly. You can check her webstie at www.caringbridge.com/nc/mckenziefay. Thank you again for all of your support and prayers and please e-mail and let me know you are still out there and with us. Once again I would like to thank my Father in Heaven for the Miracle he has blessed my little girl with. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, January 20, 2003 at 02:54 PM (CST)

Hello, everything is still great. We had to go to Duke yesterday. Taylor has a very bad GVH rash right now. We had to drive for a total of about 7 hours just so they could look at her for about 20 minutes. They are not going to give her any more steroids right now because GVH helps to kill off any exsiting bad cells. They want her to have as much GVH as possible. I don't know how much more rash she will be able to tolerate. It is really bad and all over her body. It looks terrible and it can itch pretty bad. We are keeping all of the creams on it and giving benadryl for the itch. Other than that Taylor is still doing well. She actually went up on her platelets on her own. She had 47 last Thursday at Duke and yesterday she had gone to 57. This is the first time this has happened since transplant. Another blessing for Taylor. Tomorrow she has to get more chemo in her spine. The doctors at Duke are going to give her more radiation sometime in the next month. It will be directly to her spine and brianfor about 7 days. We are suppose to go down on Thursday and we will have the exact plan then. There is no protocol for any of this because this is something that rarely happens. Dr. Kurtzburg said in her history of tranplants she had two other children do like Taylor and they were both cured. I still know without a doubt that it was the will of our Father in Heaven that this wonderful miracle has happened to Taylor. I am so grateful to Him. We must always trust our Father in Heaven completely. He loves and will always do what is best for us. I have much more I wanted to say but Taylor is calling me for more cream on her back to help with the itching I will fill you in on more later. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 09:46 PM (CST)

100% DONOR CELLS AGAIN!!!! It is truly a MIRACLE. I know our Father in Heaven has once again answered all the many prayers for Taylor. I will fill you in on all the upcoming plans for Taylor, but we spent the day at Duke and it is late and I am tired. I just had to share the wonderful news and thank my Father in Heaven again for this wonderful blessing. He truly does hear all of our prayers. Also, we have a very sick little friend of ours in PICU tonite who is in need of many prayers. He is in need of a great miracle. His name is Mitchell and he is 4 years old. You can check his website at www.mitchellkyle.com. Please remember him in your prayers and his family. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, January 13, 2003 at 02:24 PM (CST)

Hello, sorry again for such slow updates. I am at my sisters right now and have a second so I thought I would at least let you guys down in Durham know we will be there on Thursday. We looked forward to seeing you. We have really missed everyone there. Taylor is still doing really good. She had to get platelets today. Still can't hold those very well. She will most likely need blood on Thursday while we are at Duke. Dr. Warner thought Taylor really looked great today. I believe she regains a little more of her old energy everyday. She had a slumber party with all of her girl cousins Saturday night at her Grandma's house. Taylor had a great time. She had her pictures made at Olan Mills this past Thursday. They turned out so good. I just can't believe how far she has come over the past 8 weeks since she relapsed. Now we just have to pray that the results of her test this week will show all donor cells. That would make everything perfect. Layne actually got all of his mission papers and spoke with the Bishop yesterday. He will be putting them in and going sometime after April 1. I know that the Lord will bless him greatly for doing this. It will be so hard for him to leave everyone, but it will be very difficult for him to leave Taylor behind. He has always thought he was her Dad anyway. He has truly been a great blessing too me over the past months helping me with Taylor. It will be so hard to let him go, but I know as he goes and serves our Father in Heaven he will be truly blessed as well as our family (Taylor). Taylor will have a hard time letting him go. She always wants Layne around even if she is being nice to him or not. She wanted to know the other day how would we fix her long hair when we go to the airport in two years to pick Layne up. I look forward to that moment. My Mom should get her chemo this week. Please continue to pray for her that it will begin to work and she can begin to enjoy life again herself. She has had a hard time and is in need of a great blessing at this time. Once again I just want to let everyone know that I know without a doubt that Taylor has been truly blessed by our Father in Heaven. She has truly had a miralce in her life. I thank all of you for the prayers for I know that without a doubt He does listen and anwer them. Please continue to stay with us through this journey and as we continue to pull together great Miracles will continue to happen. I will try to scan Taylor's pictures and put them on the computer. Thanks again for your continued support. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, January 08, 2003 at 06:42 PM (CST)

Hello everyone! Sorry for such slow updates, but no news is always good news they say. Taylor is doing well. She went to the clinic yesterday and got platelets and another round of chemo in her spine. Her spine still remains leukemia free. Her white blood count(wbc) was 3.5. So it seems her cells are starting to grow again. Now we just have to continue to pray that only the good cells will grow. We sent a test out on Monday to Duke to see whose cells she is growing. They could not tell from the Bone Marrow test a couple of weeks ago, because she did not have enough cells to grow at the time. We are going to Duke next week for them to evaluate her and should have an answer to the test then. I just continue to pray that things will go well. It has seemed so great to have Taylor being somewhat like her old self. I just hope this is a year full of wonderful things for our family. It has been so hard over the past 20 months. We have had so many ups and downs and I am so thankful for my loving Father in Heaven who has been there all the way for us. Please continue to pray for Taylor that she can be healthy and strong and return to a normal life again this year. I am thankful for each of you who e-mail me and send things to Taylor and most of all who join with us in prayer daily for her. Now a little about my mom. She went today for her chemo treatment, but her counts were too low so they put her off until next week. She is not doing very well right now. She is very tired and weak and needs some relief from this cancer also. Please continue to pray for her as well. I am going to try to update the pictures later tonite. Thanks again for all of you support and prayers. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, January 03, 2003 at 06:51 PM (CST)

Hello everyone! Today has been a great day for Taylor. She has felt better today than she has in a long time. She was like her old self. She has done her schoolwork and played all day. She went to the doctor yesterday and got blood and a new antibiotic. She had been running a fever ever since Monday. Yesterday the doctor finally decided that it might be a drug fever. So they stopped two of the antibiotics and started a different one and sure enough the fever went away. I was so thankful that this was the cause of the fevers. She has really felt wonderful day. It has been so great to see her play and enjoy herself so much. I just pray that this will continue and she will improve with each and every day. Taylor will recieve chemo again next week in her spine and then the following week we will return to Duke for them to evaluate her there. I am really looking forward to going to Duke to see everyone there. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom and I am sure they will get better and win this battle. Seven weeks ago today the doctors informed us that Taylor would most likely not even be here now. All I can say to that is never under estimate the power of prayer. I am so thankful to my Father in Heaven. I have put my trust completely in him and he has been there for me. I just continue to pray daily that Taylor will continue to stand as a witness of his great healing power on this earth and never have to face this sickness again. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 11:09 PM (CST)

Happy New Year to everyone! First, I would like to thank my Heavenly Father for
bringing us to this New Year with Taylor and my Mom. This past year has be
overwhelming and I know without a doubt that our Heavenly Father has been there
every step of the way. Without him I can only imagine what could have happened.
Taylor has been through so many things this year. She has been through 3 relapses,
surgeries to remove fungus from her lungs, to check her uterus for cancer, to have
her stomach check for GI bleeds, to have central lines placed and removed from her
chest, and to have a feeding tube placed in her stomach for medications. Also, she
has been through a second bone marrow transplant, had nearly 100 blood
transfusions over the year and last but surely not least two episodes of respiratory
arrest on her sixth birthday. If someone would have told me last New Years Eve
that I had all of this to face, I would have said I could never do it, but with the
support of so many people and most of all the love of my Father in Heaven I have
somehow endured it all. Most of all Taylor has endured it well and she continues to
endure whatever is placed before her. Throughout this year she has taught me so
much. Taylor is truly one of our Heavenly Father’s most choice daughters. Why
she has been asked to face so much at such a young age I do not know, but I know
that our Father in Heaven loves her dearly and only wants the very best for her.
Through her many trails I have learned many things, but most of all I have learned to
trust my Heavenly Father for he truly knows what is best for each of us. I just pray
daily that he will let Taylor stand as a witness of his great healing power here on
this earth. That I will be given the opportunity to raise her to become a righteous
young lady. I ask all of you to continue to pray for her daily and to keep your faith
strong, because faith can truly move mountains. I do not know what will happen in
the months to come, but I do know that Taylor has had many miracles in her life and
I just pray that the miracle of life will be hers. Also, I ask you to continue to pray
for my sweet Mother. She too is in need of a miracle. Her tumor marker came back
on Monday and the results were not good. Her tumor marker had gone from 1400
to 2400. The doctor is going to try one more round of this chemo and if it does not
work he will try something else. Her options are also running out. She is a
wonderful Mother and Grandmother and she also deserves a miracle in her life. She
has 3 grandsons out serving full time missions for our church all of which she prays
for daily and wants to be here for their return home. I want to thank each of you for
all of your support and most of all for your prayers for Taylor and my Mom. Please
continue to pray for them and keep the faith strong and I know that our Father in
Heaven will hear and answer our prayers as we all join together. Thank you again
for all you do. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Sunday, December 29, 2002 at 01:33 PM (CST)

Hello! Not a whole lot of changes. Taylor had to go to the clinic on Friday to get platelets. Her wbc was up to 1. with signs of cells beginning to grow. She actually had a little bit of fighting power. It was still very low. I expect to see a whole lot more by Monday. Taylor has enjoyed the holidays. She likes her new clothes and boots better than anything else she got. I guess she is turninig into a young lady and enjoys dressing up more than playing. She is still sorta tired and does not do a whole lot. I guess it is going to take some time to get over the past several weeks. She has been through a lot. I somehow forget about all of that and just want to see her run and play so bad. I do know however, she has been truly blessed by her Father in Heaven. Friday when she got blood they told me her blood type had changed from AB to O neg. That had me upset because her donor was AB and she is 0 neg, but the doctors informed at Duke this did not mean anything because she has had so many transfusions that this kinda of thing happens. It still bothers me, but I know that I must continue to keep the faith and pray to my Father in Heaven continually for Taylor's continued health. Please continue to pray for her daily. She has fought so long and she deserves the very best. Also, say extra prayers for my Mom. She will go tomorrow for her tumor marker. This will be her first one since she started this new chemo. She is also in need of a miracle at this time. Thanks again for all of the continued support. Please drop me a line when you can I still enjoy reading your entries. It gives me that extra strength that I need to know your support is there. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 10:20 PM (CST)

Merry Christmas to everyone!! Taylor was able to be home for Christmas. We left the hospital around 12 noon on Christmas Eve. It has been a wonderful Christmas for us all. Christmas Eve I recieved a call from Taylor's doctor here, Dr. Warner, he called to inform me that one of the test had come back on Taylor's bone marrow test and it was completely free of the Philadelphia Chromsome. This means that Taylor is truly in remission at this time. We have been here before, but I know that this time it was by the great power of our Father in Heaven. Now we can only pray daily that she will remain free of leukemia and it will never return again. I have each and everyone of you to thank for such a wonderful Christmas gift. I know that all of our many prayers have been heard and have been answered. Our Father in Heaven truly loves each and everyone of us and he does listen to our prayers. I know that his will, will be done, but for now I can only thank him for yet another miracle in Taylor's life. I hope and pray that Taylor will finally be free of this disease and it's many side effects and be on the road to a complete recovery. She is such a remarkable little girl. I hope tomorrow we begin to see some signs of her bone marrow beginning to recover. She still had no white blood cells to fight infection when we left the hospital on Tuesday. She does have bad sores in her mouth and on her bottom due to the chemo and she has been very uncomfortable from them. Some white blood cells are about the only thing that will make them better. So once again I ask for all of you to continue to pray for her and I know that our prayers will be heard. Also, don't forget my Mom she will find out on Monday if her chemo is working. Keep her in your prayers also. She is due for her miracle about now also. Thank you again for all of the wonderful gifts and cards you have sent to Taylor. She truly does enjoy them. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, December 23, 2002 at 02:25 PM (CST)

Hello everyone! Well we are still in the hospital. I was hopeful that we would be out today, but Taylor's cultures grew a bacteria. The name of it was pseudomonas. She is on plenty of medicine until they figure out which one is the best for her. So unfotunately, we will have to stay until Tuesday. Taylor has not had a fever since early Sunday morning. So hopefully she is already on the right medication. Unfortunately, the white blood cells have not kicked in yet. Her white blood count this morning was only .3, but that is up from .1. The problem is that is not enought to do anything. Hopefully, we will start seeing an upward trend with her bloodwork tomorrow. They are not going to do the chemo in her spine this week to give her counts a chance to recover. I have been keeping in touch with the doctors at Duke to ensure I make wise choices for Taylor. I am just not that comfortable with the doctors here right now since they all have such an attitude of just giving up on Taylor. I know without a doubt the answer for Taylor lies in our Father in Heavens hands and with the great power of prayer and so many people praying for her it can make more difference in her recovery than any medicine on this earth. It has been really tough being here in the hospital during this time of the year. I feel so bad for my boys because I have not had any chance to shop for them. Layne has done it all for me. The only problem with that is I have not had any time to shop for him. But the truth is all of us want the same thing this year and that is just to be together as a family and most of all to have Taylor with us. I think this year more than ever before I realize the true meaning of Christmas. Being together as a family to celebrate Christ's birth is truly the what it is all about. I just pray for the health and strength of my little girl, my Mom, and for all of the sweet little children that I have grown to love and know over the past 19 months. My the spirit of our Father in Heaven watch over all of them and bless them with a wonderful Christmas and most of all health and strength. I am so grateful to all of you for your continued support and prayers. Please continue to pray for my Mom and Taylor. Most of all for Taylor to be able to be released from this hopsital and go home to be with her family for Christmas and for a wonderful new year full of health and strenght. Merry Christmas to all of you. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 10:03 PM (CST)

Just a quick update to let you know that Taylor has been admitted to the hospital. She has been having pains around her collar bone, and we thought it might be related to the surgery to remove her CBL line. She also had a fever due to being so neutropenic (no white count) that they admitted her to start her on antibiotics and check for infections. We will be in the hospital at least until Monday. She was taking a drug to stimulate her white count, but so far nothing has happened with that. We are hoping that within the next few days her white count will begin to recover so as to avoid the chances of infections. Please continue to say your prayers that Taylor will be well and we will be able to be home for Christmas with our family. Love, Taylor’s mom Neena

Thursday, December 19, 2002 at 07:40 PM (CST)

Hello everyone!! Taylor is slowly recovering from her surgery on Tuesday. She is very sore where they had to cut her to go in and place the feeding tube. She is moving around but at a very slow pace. She sits around and does puzzels and colors a little. I know after the soreness wears off she will be glad that the tube is out of her nose and in her stomach. We are trying very hard to get ready for Christmas around here. Today was the very first time that I went and did some shopping. None of my children seem to concerned about what they get this year. I know they are just thankful that Taylor is doing well. I am so use to being with Taylor I can't hardly bare to leave her to do anything. Me and Layne went out for a couple of hours today and I was ready to get back home with Taylor. I am still so grateful to my Father in Heaven for the wonderful Miracle is has once again sent Taylor's way. I am also thankful for each and everyone of you for keeping the faith and praying continually for Taylor. I do know that Taylor has been truly blessed by the prayers that have been offered for her. I continue to pray daily that Taylor will be healed completely from this awful disease. She has been through so many things for such a little girl and deserves to be happy and run and play and do all the things little girls are suppose to do. She is such a special little girl. Also, tonite I would like to update you on my Mom. She is still fighting her cancer also. She will have another tumor marker done on Christmas Eve. The results will be back the following week. She has not felt very well, but continues to be here daily for Taylor and me. She is a very special mother and grandmother. I lover her dearly and pray for her miracle daily also. Please continue to pray for them both and keep the faith strong and I know without a doubt in my mind that our Heavenly Father hears our prayers and will answer them. Thank you again for all of your support and especailly for all of the cards and gifts you send to Taylor daily. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 07:37 PM (CST)

The prayers are working. Today after trying to discourage me and Terry from wasting our time putting Taylor through a bone marrow test we refused and had them check anyway. As of today Taylor's bone marrow is in remission. A true MIRACLE for a little girl that the doctors just wanted us 4 weeks ago to stop all treatment and watch her die. I am truly thankful for my loving Father in Heaven. Also, I am so thankful for each and everyone of you who pray daily and keep the faith strong for my little girl. I believe we have to try everything possible when we are sick and we have for Taylor, but we have completely put our trust in our Father in Heaven now and trust that his will will be to cure her. We still do not know what Taylor's future holds, but as long as we continue to show our Father in Heaven that our faith is strong and pray to him daily, all things are possible. He is truly the great healer. Today we have recieved the greatest Christmas gift one could ask for. I have so much more I want to say, but Taylor is wanting me and I must go, but as for her other surgery it did all go well for her and she should be home tomorrow. I once again just want to thank all of you for the prayers and ask you continue for her. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, December 16, 2002 at 03:47 PM (CST)

New Pictures!! Sorry for the slow updates. Taylor is still doing fine. Tomorrow she will be going into the hospital for an over night stay to have her feeding tube placed in her stomach. Also, she will have one of the CVL Lines removed from her chest, chemo put into her spine and they will be doing a bone marrow test to see what is going on there since that is where the answer really is. Please pray extra hard for Taylor to do well and not be in to much pain and most of all the bone marrow will show very good news. We are all waiting for the Miracle to happen for her. This would be the greatest gift our family could recieve for Christmas this year. The health of our children is far more important than any gift we could ever recieve. I know our Father in Heaven truly listens to all the prayers that have been offered for Taylor, because he has shown us many times by the many things he has done for her already. I just pray daily that it will be his will to let her stay here on this earth and be a witness of his great healing power. Please keep the faith strong and pray constantly and we will recieve our Christmas Miracle. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, December 12, 2002 at 10:35 PM (CST)

I want say much tonite because it is so late, but just had to let you know that the report came in and the cells in Taylor's spinal fluid were not Leukemia. So as of Wednesday Taylor had no Leukemia cells in her blood or spinal fluids. We do not know about the bone marrow, but plan on checking it on Tuesday. Continue to pray daily for her and we will recieve our MIRACLE. Also, Taylor did stay awake all day today. She even played a little. We are moving in the right direction. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 06:19 PM (CST)

Hello again. Today has been a great day. Taylor had no blast (leukemia) cells in her blood today. Also, in her spinal fluid last week she had 3000 blast cells. This week she was down to 13. She had another round of chemo put into her spine today so hopefully next week she will have no leukemia in her spine. We still don't know about her bone marrow because that has not been checked. We have been holding off on checking it because it makes Taylor very uncomfortable for several days. If her blood stays free of blast for another week or so we will then check her bone marrow. I continue to hold onto the miracle. I truly believe it can happen. I am so grateful to each and everyone of you who continue to pray for that miracle each day. I know that Taylor continues to be blessed daily because of it. Please keep the faith strong and don't give up. I know the doctors don't think we can beat this, but I know that is completely up to our Heavenly Father and I just pray daily for the MIRACLE. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, December 09, 2002 at 10:54 PM (CST)

Hello everyone! Sorry it has taken so long for another update. Taylor is home and doing much better. She was released from the hospital on Saturday afternoon. Each day she has gained more strength and continues to do much better. The headaches have stopped for the most part and the terrible rash that was causing her to itch severly is now almost gone. She sleeps most of the day and wakes up long enough to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and watch a few cartoons. I continue to wait for the miracle and pray for the best. Last Thursday was the worst day of my life. I could not believe the things that happened that day. It was Taylor's birthday and suppose to be the happiest time of her life. As the day progressed and Taylor got worst I never thought it would end the way it did. As Taylor layed in my arms nearly lifeless I thought I would die myself. I am so thankful for her father who was able to keep her breathing until the ambulance arrived at our home. I unfortunately, fell completely to pieces. I have been there for Taylor ever second of the way, but could not begin to face what happen that night. I know without a doubt she had yet another miracle in her life and the angels in heaven were truly looking out for her. The doctors said we were lucky she made it through the two episodes of not breathing. As she lied in PICU that night my heart broke. How could such a wonderful little girl have to endure so much. I love Taylor with all of my heart and can not bare to see her go through so much pain as she did last week. I ask all of you to continue to pray for the miracle she so badly needs. Terry and I have completely turned her over to our Father in Heaven knowing he has all power. I know his will, will be done. I just hope and pray that through the great power of prayer and faith of so many loving people he will allow Taylor to be healed by his loving hand. I do not know why my sweet little girl has been asked to endure such pain and suffering, but I do know that our Father in Heaven truly loves us and will do the right thing for Taylor. Please continue to keep the faith and never give up on the MIRACLE. Also, please remember all of my boys in your prayers for they too suffer greatly watching their sister suffer through this sickness. I know their hearts break for her. I want all of you to know how grateful I am for each and every one of you. Also, that I do know without a doubt in my mind that even at this point in Taylor's life if it is our Father in Heaven's will for Taylor to live, she will. He truly has all power. I just hope and pray for that miracle especially at this wonderful time of year when Miracles truly do happen. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, December 06, 2002 at 09:39 PM (CST)

This is Jacque updating you all again. The last few days have been very overwhelming for Taylor and her family. I'm sure you all know by now that Taylor stopped breathing and had to be taken by ambulance to the emergency room last night. She spent a very long, rough night in the ER with only one additional episode where she stopped breathing, but fortunately, the hospital staff was able to work yet another miracle and resuscitate her. As she lay there in her weakened state, she continually called out "mama" every time she would wake up. I'm sure mothers everywhere have often tired at the name of "mama" being called by their children who are constantly asking for things that seem trivial. After last night, watching my sister sit and wait for her beautiful little girl to call "mama", I will never again take for granted "mama" being called out. The love that Neena has for her daughter is so apparent in every thing that she does. As the day has progressed, Taylor still has not been able to wean off the oxygen yet. It does, however, seem that she is slowly improving. Her head and neck still hurt, but the doctors have given her some steroids, which they think will reduce the pressure and will make her head stop hurting. The decision to give Taylor steroids was very hard for her parents to make. While the steroids would stop pressure in her head, it would also stop the graft versus host process that was going on in her body. That means that it would reduce the chance of the donor cells to fight off the leukemia. They felt that it would imply that they had given up hope for Taylor to be cured. Neena, however, explained that in allowing the doctors to give Taylor steroids, she was showing her Father in Heaven that she completely trusted him to do what was best for Taylor. She said that if it was Heavenly Father's will for Taylor to be cured, she would be. She said that she only wanted relief for her little girl now. Through these many, many months, Neena has shown me, as I am sure she has many of you, the kind of faith that it truly takes to move mountains. As parents, Neena and Terry have done all that could ever be expected of anyone on the behalf of their child. I, along with them, still pray for the miracle of Taylor's cure; but I, along with them, know that our Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us, and as our Father, he will do what he knows is best. May we all continue to pray for Taylor to get better and also for peace and comfort for her family.

Friday, December 06, 2002 at 08:51 PM (CST)

Hello everyone this is Layne Taylor’s oldest brother, my mother asked me to write to you tonight. It is 4:40, and I am in the waiting room outside of the PICU at CHKD in Virginia. Taylor had a bad reaction from all of her medications that the doctors have put her on and earlier to night, she stopped breathing. Dad, Nana, and I did all breathed for her till the EMS got to our home. They took her here to CHKD where she is now resting comfortably and breathing well on her own, with the help of O2. So please we ask for all of you to pray for Taylor, Mom, and Dad to have the strength to get through this step of getting our miracle she deserves.Love Layne Taylor’s oldest brother.

Friday, December 06, 2002 at 03:58 AM (CST)

Hello everyone this is Layne Taylor’s oldest brother, my mother asked me to write to you to knight. It is 4:40, and I am in the waiting room outside of the PICU at CHKD in Virginia. Taylor had a bad reaction from all of her medications that the doctors have put her on and earlier to night she stopped breathing. Dad, Nana, and I all breathed for her till the EMS got to our home. They took her hear to CHKD were she is now resting comfortably and breathing well on her own, with the help of O2. So please we ask for all of you to pray for Taylor, Mom, and Dad to have the strength to get through this step of getting our metrical. Love Layne Taylor’s oldest brother.

Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 02:12 PM (CST)

This is Jacque again. Neena asked me to update all of you again on what has been happening today. Taylor had to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night at about two o'clock because of the severe headaches she was having. They put her on Morphine, which made her itch worse than it helped her head. She ended up staying all night and did not get home until 5:30 this evening. While she was there, she got her first treatment of chemo for the leukemia in her spinal fluid. The doctor said this should take about 24 to 48 hours to work, and then it would relieve some of the pressure in her head. Tomorrow is Taylor's 6th birthday. I can't think of a more needed and deserved gift for Taylor and her family than a Happy Birthday free from headaches and hospitals. Neena asked that we all pray for this small miracle for Taylor.

Love,

Taylor's aunt, Jacque

Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 09:49 PM (CST)

Neena asked me to add her journal entry tonight for her. I am Jacque Taylor, Taylor's aunt and Neena's sister for those who don't know me. She wanted me to let you all know that Taylor had blood work done yesterday, and she had two blasts (leukemia) in her blood. Also, they found out today that Taylor had leukemia in her spinal fluid. That is what has been giving her such terrible headaches. She will begin treatment twice a week for this, which we pray will work quickly and help her little head stop hurting. Taylor has been through so much, and even with her head hurting like I know it has been, she puts her little Disney washcloth, which has been warmed just right, on her head and still watches her favorite movies, talks to her family and cousins, and even laughs in spite of how she must be feeling. She is a very special little girl, and she is so deserving of all of the prayers that have been offered on her behalf, as are Neena and Terry and the rest of the Hancock children. Neena wanted me to be sure and let you all know that she still knows faith can move mountains and heal beautiful little girls if it is our Father in Heaven's will. She has asked that everyone still continue to pray for the miracle that their family has prayed for these many months. Also, I would like to ask that everyone include my sister, Neena, also a beautiful girl, who is in need of the miracle of strength to continue to be by Taylor's side through this time in their life.

Love,

Taylor's aunt, Jacque

Saturday, November 30, 2002 at 09:12 PM (CST)

Hello everyone. Well it is Saturday evening and Taylor is not feeling too well. She started having headaches yesterday and her eye has been red and watery. The doctor looked at her eye and gave her some drops. They do not seem to be helping much. Her head has been hurting all day and her eye has been buring. I feel so helpless. I can not stand seeing her feel so bad. I took her to her other doctor this morning instead of going to the ER and he put her on some medicine in case it was a sinus problem. So far she has not felt any better. Please pray for her that the pain will go away. This morning she got up and she threw up. After that she told me she felt better because she had threw up the pain. Watching your child suffer is an awful thing. I just want so badly for her to be strong and healthy and to recieve the miracle she so badly needs. As of Friday she still had no leukemia in her blood. Her birthday is this Thursday and I want her to feel good. Please keep the faith and don't give up on her. She just has to get well. If her head is not better tomorrow I will take her over to the hospital and find out what is causing these problems. Please pray for her. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 06:43 PM (CST)

We are home again. It was nice being gone because it felt like everything was ok. Taylor sure hated to leave. She had a good time. I hope we can do some more things real soon. Today she had to get blood. This should give her more energy for Thanksgiving. She has been eating very good. She actually gained about 3 pounds while we were gone. She is an amazing little girl. I know without a doubt she is one of our Father in Heaven's most blessed children. I continue to pray daily for the miracle Taylor needs so much. I know without a doubt that if it is our Father in Heaven's will for her to live she will. As we all unite in prayer he listens. I ask each of you not to ever give up and keep the faith continually that she will have that miracle. I can't even begin to imagine a life without my little girl. She is so much a part of me. Also, please continue to keep my Mom in your prayers also. She too is in need of a miracle in her life. Hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Thanks again for all of the e-mails they really mean a lot too me. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, November 26, 2002 at 08:07 AM (CST)

Just a brief note to let you know we are on the way home. Sorry no pictures last night we had to go and get platelets around 8pm and did not get home until 11:30. It worked out good because Taylor got to enjoy the whole day. She does not want to go home and neither do I. It seems everything is ok as long as we are here. Please continue to pray for the MIRACLE. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 07:23 PM (CST)

Still having fun in Disney World. It is hard to believe that the trip is almost over. It has been so great to be able to just sit back and enjoy Taylor and the rest of the family without any other worries. It is hard for me to believe that Taylor is so sick. I just need that great big miracle now. I can not begin to imagine a life without my sweet little girl. I am going to just keep praying and keep my faith strong and relay fully on the miracle Taylor so deserves. She is so sweet and is such a part of me. I don't think I could function without her. I have become so close to her. We spend nearly every hour of the day side by side. Whether it is sleeping, going to the clinic, or just anything we do. I beg my Father in Heaven every day to give me the opportunity to raise Taylor here on this earth. I ask each of you to continue to pray for her daily as I am sure you do. As we all unite in prayer I know our Father in Heaven does hear and answer prayers. For now the Gleevec is working and the blast is out of her blood. We just need the miracle for her now. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 08:56 PM (CST)

Just a quick note tonite to let you know that Taylor is still having a good time. She is also starting to eat pretty good again. She had to have a steak again tonite. I guess her taste buds are starting to come back again. I can tell she is feeling much better as the leukemia clears out of her body. She will have more blood work here on Monday. Please say a special prayer that her platelets and blood will not be too low so she will not have to spend her last day being transfused with blood products. They are both pretty low as of yesterday. I am hoping they will hang on until we return home. I sure do not want to have to spend almost an entire day at the clinic. Thank you again for all of your continued support. I do know as we continue to pull together through the great power of prayer and faith wonderful things do happen. Please continue to pray for that miracle. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, November 22, 2002 at 09:33 PM (CST)

No Leukemia in our blood today. Taylor's bloodwork showed no signs of Leukemia today. Another miracle. This does not mean complete remission yet, because we would have to see her bone marrow also. But the good thing is the gleevec does seem to be working at the moment. The only problem is that the gleevec only lasted a couple of months last time. I talked to doctors at Duke today and they said she would have to be in complete remission for 3 months at least to be healthy enough for another transplant. There is still the slim hope the exsiting donor cells will kick in and win at this time. But, once again Miracles do still happen. I know without a doubt with all of the prayers going on in her behalf if it is our Father in Heavens will it can happen. I just prayer every minute that it will. Taylor is still having a great time. Her energy level is up quite a bit. Please continue with the prayers and we can beat this. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 08:00 PM (CST)

Hello from Disney World. Taylor is having a great time. She is very tired tonite. She got up at 7:30am and has had a long day. She had a great time seeing all of the many characters at Disney World. She really enjoyed herself. She loved riding the rides, but she likes the fast ones. Tomorrow she will have to be at the clinic at 8am for labs. Please pray that tomorrow we will see remission. Also, that she will not need anything so we will not have to waste any of our day at the clinic. I am very tired myself tonite. I am not sure where I am going to find the energy to go all day for the next 5 days. Today me and Taylor rented a electric wheelchair that was really nice. She like riding around in it. When she walks she wants me to carry her and I am just about wore out carrying her around, but I will not miss any opportunity I have to hold her close in my arms. Please pray for that miracle. I do still belive in them. I know that our Father in Heaven loves us and he will watch over my little girl. Pray for all of our family to have the courage to be strong for Taylor. I love each and everyone of you and I am so thankful for all the prayers and faith you have for Taylor. Please don't give up. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 07:30 PM (CST)

Hello from Disney World! We have made it here. Taylor had a great flight. She loved the limo ride to the airport and she really enjoyed the airplane ride. The smile on her face was worth more that a million dollars. We did not go to Disney World today because after checking in we did not have time. We did visit a few shops and Taylor enjoyed that. She was awake all day and never wanted to stop. However, she is now fast asleep. Tomorrow morning at 9 she will have a picture with Mickey and Minnie and we will be off to the Magic Kingdom. Her energy level was amazing today compared to the past week. Also, I left her blood this morning at home and the news was good. Her white count was now down to 6.9. The blast in her blood (the leukemia) was down to 5%. In a couple of days she could very well be in remission. Now the prayers and miracles really need to happen. This will give the remaining donor cells time to kick in and beat this awful disease once and for all. Please continually pray for this miracle. I have added some new pictures from today. Thank you for all of the e-mails, it really helps. Just know the smiles on Taylor's face today have been worth more than anything in this whole world. Please pray for the MIRACLE. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 08:12 PM (CST)

My heart is so full tonite. As I prepare for this trip my heart breaks. I can barely get my mind together to get everything we will need for Taylor on the trip. She is asleep on the couch and looks so tired too me. She sleeps alot right now. I am hoping it is due to the Gleevec. She has been responding well to the medicine so far. We can only cling to the miracle at this time. If the gleevec can get her into remission the remainder of the donor cells will have one last opportunity to fight for her life. Please pray for that miracle. I do not believe I could possibly live without her in my life. I do believe in the great power of our Father in Heaven. I do know he loves us dearly. I believe in miracles and I know he can provide one for Taylor. Please cling to that hope with me and pray constantly for her. Also, pray that she will have the time of her life in Disney world. Then when she gets home one week later she will have her birthday on December 5th, and it is going to be the party of her life. I can only thank all of you for your continued support and prayers. Please also remember my sweet mother, she to is fighting for her life. I will try to update in Disney with pictures of Taylor so keep watching and sign in please. I need all of the strength I can get. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 11:12 AM (CST)

NEW Pictures! Just a quick note. We still have one glimmer of hope. There is a small possiblity that the gleevec will work and by stopping the steroids and cyclosporine the donor cells do have more of a chance too fight. Taylor had to go to the hospital last night with a fever. They gave her an antibotic and she also got some blood. The blast in her blood had gone up some, but not too much. Hopefully, tomorrow at the clinic we will see some signs of the gleevec beginning to work. Please continue to pray for that miracle, don't give up yet. Pray for my family that we will have the strength to be strong for her. Also, pray that she will be strong and can go to Disney World and have the time of her life. Miracles do still happen and I have to hold on to that. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, November 15, 2002 at 03:14 PM (CST)

Today has not been good. Taylor has once again relapsed and the doctor's at this time are not giving us any hope. I really do not have the heart to type anything today except to please pray that I can be strong for Taylor and she will not suffer. If everything is ok we will be leaving on Wednesday to take her on her Make a Wish to Disney World. I don't know how I am going to manage, but I just have to do it for her. Please pray for all of us. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 01:07 PM (CST)

Just a quick update. Taylor went to the doctor here today at CHKD. Everything went well. She is still hanging on to her platelets. We were at 22 today and our cutoff is 10. Hopefully, we will make it another full week without getting any. All of her other bloodwork looked good. She happen to meet up with her friend Lacey today at the clinic and they went to have lunch together (in the car of course), but they had a good time. Lacey was also at Duke while we were there. It was great seeing them we had not seen them since they left Duke in the middle of September. Taylor is going to go over to Lacey's on Thursday and eat breakfast and play with her for a while. It will be good for Taylor because she gets so bored just being in the house all of the time. Also, I am about wore out playing all of the time myself. As for me, I am doing a little better today. I have been so overwhelmed with worry lately I have had a hard time just coping from day to day. Finally someone said something to me that made some really good sense. They said they were not worried about Taylor getting well they were just so worried I was going to let myself get so consumed with fear that I could not even enjoy living. I thought about that and I am trying hard to not let fear take over my life. I just guess I need to have more faith and pray harder everyday. Taylor is doing great right now and I have to sit back and relax and pray daily that is the way it will stay. My Mom will begin her chemo tomorrow. She is very anxious about getting starting on another chemo. I know she is very worried that it will not work, but once again I know that miracles do happen. Please continue to pray for them both. I know without a doubt that our Father in Heaven is listening and he does care about us very much. All he wants is for us to be happy. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 03:20 PM (CST)

Hello! Well everything is about the same around here. Taylor is still doing pretty good. She is not quite as active right now. It may have something to do with the steroids coming down, I really don't know. We have to go to the clinic on Tuesday. I will probably send bloodwork tomorrow just to be sure everything is ok. I watched an old video today of Taylor the fall before she got sick. It was so wonderful watching her run out in the yard with her long hair. She ran and ran for a long time playing with Jonathan and Tyler. I would give everything I own to know for a fact she will be able to do all of that again some day soon. Sometimes the stress of everyday worrying becomes overwhelming. I try to keep that perfect faith, but I guess I am just a mother and sometimes I am just plain scared to death. I ask all of you to continue to pray for her daily. The next 2 years are very critical for her. If she can get past that mark we will most likely have this thing beat. I know that is a long time, but I ask all of you to continue praying for her daily that her new bone marrow will mature quickly and her immune system will grow stronger everyday. I do know that our prayers are answered and I feel the more prayers we offer the better chance she has. I love her so much and I just could not bear a life without her in it. We have become so close over the past year and a half. I went to get a hair cut and a flu shot on Friday and I could not stand being away from her for the hour I was gone. Also, my Mom will be getting her new chemo on Wednesday. I ask you to also pray for her that it will not have to many bad side effects and that it will also get her into remission. She has been fighting this now for a year herself. She needs a miracle in her life also. I am so thankful for all of you who continue to support our family through all of this. Please drop me a line in my guestbook if you get a chance. I really enjoy hearing from all of you. It helps add to my strength that I need from day to day. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 07:22 PM (CST)

Hello everyone! We have just returned from a long day at Duke. Everything went really well for Taylor. She actually had to get platelets today, but this was the first time in a week. Our new record. Everything was looking good for her. They started reducing some of the meds to help get her immune system stronger so if needed it can fight off any bad cells that might be out there. It was a very long day, but once again Taylor handled it very well without any complaining. She always amazes me at how well she copes with everything going on around her. Se had to drive for about 3 hours wait around for 4 at the clinic and ride home another 3 hours and she never once complained. I know without a doubt she is a very special daughter of our Father in Heaven and he loves her dearly. I just ask all of you to continue to pray for her. The next several months will be so important for her new bone marrow to grow strong and be able to fight off anything bad. We are almost 4 months out now. Last transplant we only made it 5 months before relapse. I try not to think of that, but it is always in the back of my mind, but I know as we continue to pull together in prayer and faith we can work that mighty miracle in her life that she needs. We also need to pray for my Mom. Her doctor is trying another chemo, but gives it only a 20% chance of working. We will not know for 3 months if it works or not. She is very down right now and having a hard time coping with everything. We have had a hard year and a half, but I know that things can and will turn around for them both. I ask all of you to continue praying with our family. I know without a doubt that our Father in Heaven does hear our prayers and care about each and everyone of us. Thanks again for the e-mails and guestbook entries. It helps so much knowing that you are still out there with us. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena P.S. I promise to get new pictures this weekend. My camera has not been working right.

Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 09:27 PM (CST)

Just a quick note tonite. I wanted to let you know that the news was wonderful for Taylor yesterday. She remains 100% donor cells. Also, as of today she has held her platelets for six days. That is a new record for her. Things seem to continue in the right direction for Taylor. I thank my Father in Heaven daily for these blessings knowing that because of him all things are possible. My Mom will go for her visit tomorrow. Unfortunately, we have already found out that her tumor marker is 1230. It has nearly doubled since this chemo began. She has not spoke with the doctor yet so we do not know what the plan for her is at this time. I just ask that each of you continue to pray for her and her doctor that he will be directed to do the right thing for her. This chemo was really rough on her and just did not seem to work, but I do know that as we pray daily for her and Taylor our Father in Heaven will bless them both. I am so thankful for this knowledge and for each of you who pray for them daily. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 07:00 PM (CST)

Just a quick update. New pictures finally! Taylor is still doing pretty good. She has been having a couple of problems, but I think we might know the cause now. She has been on steroids so long it can cause problems with your adrenaline gland and thyroid gland. We had some test done today to see if that is the case. We will get some results next week. She was on every other day steroids and on her off day she did not act the same. For now we are giving steroids daily until the test return. Also, we did not get the donor test on Friday. It should be done tomorrow. Please keep the prayers going that she will remain 100% donor cells. She did not have to get platelets today either. This is now the 3rd time she made it 4 days without. I am sure we will get them tomorrow because her cutoff is 10 and she was at 14. Please continue the prayers for Taylor and I know she will continue to grow stronger everyday. She is really enjoying being home with her family. Also, my Mom will get her tumor marker Wednesday. Pray that she also will have good results. Thanks to all of you for your continued support and prayers. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, October 31, 2002 at 08:35 PM (CST)

Happy Halloween! It has been a great day. Taylor has really had a good time today. We went down to Duke yesterday for a CT Scan and today we had a doctor visit there. The CT Scan showed everything to be the same. So there was not any changes. They plan on doing another CT in about 2 weeks just to keep a watch. The donor test had not come back as of 7pm this evening so I will have to call and see about that tomorrow. I feel certain she will be 100% donor cells, but I will be glad to see it on paper. The doctor thought she looked great today and did not see any problems. We will have to return again next Thursday to see the doctor again. For now that is ok with me because I like having the doctors at Duke looking closely at her also. She had alot of fun Trick or Treating at the clinic at Duke today. Then as soon as we got home she went straight to Grandma's house for Trick or Treating with her cousins. She missed that last year and it was great to have her home this year. She has been eating candy and gum all night. That is ok with me too. I am just glad to see her eating something. Well now a little bit about my Mom. Yesterday they took another tumor marker test on her. We will get the results of that next Wednesday. She is still pretty run down from all of the chemo. These past couple of months have been really hard on her. I just ask all of you to continue to pray for her that she will be able to get into remission through this treatments. Taylor has really enjoyed being home again and spending time with her. They have been putting together puzzels. Also, please continue to pray for my little girl that her donor cells will be 100% and most of all that she will be cured and not have to face any more great problems through the remainder of this transplant process. She has done so well and took everything with such great spirits. She is truly a very special daughter of her Father in Heaven. I know without a doubt he loves her and hear all of the prayers that go up for her each day. I truly want to think each and everyone of you for caring about her and my Mom. Please continue to pray for them both and I know that they will be blessed for our efforts. Sorry about no pictures, hopefully this weekend I will get my camera back up and running and I will get some new pictures soon. Please sign our guestbook so I will know you are still out there. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, October 28, 2002 at 07:37 PM (CST)

Hello, a little slow on the updates. Taylor went to the clinic today and she did not have to get anything. Her platelets were still 25. I hope we can hang on one more day and get them Wednesday at Duke. Taylor had a fever Friday night of 100.5. With a whole lot of praying it was gone Saturday. She had a good day Saturday and Sunday. Today she has had a temp mostly in the 99 range, but a couple of 100.4 or so. I called Dr. Mustafa and he said unless it got to be 101.3 not to worry, but you know me. I can tell she does not feel well. Today she has been very slow and not done a whole lot. If she has a fever in the morning we will head back to Duke on Tuesday instead. If I stay here they will put her in the hospital. That is just rountine here. At Duke they would culture her lines and watch her in the clinic. I don't want to end up in the hospital and miss her appointment on Wed. for CT Scan. Please say some extra prayers that whatever is going on will just go away. I hate so much for something to change and her be back in a hospital. She has enjoyed being home so much. My Mom is still pretty down from all the chemo also. Please pray for her and Taylor that they can be healthy and strong. I really hate seeing her not feeling well. Thanks to all of you who continue to pray and care for her and my Mom. Love, Taylor and Neena P.S. Sorry about no new pictures I have to get my computer set up before I can download some more.

Friday, October 25, 2002 at 08:58 PM (CDT)

We are in VIRGINIA. That is good and bad. Great to be home, but the work is about to begin. We have so much stuff from being gone for 4 motnhs and they have not done a whole lot of stuff around here since we left. It is good to be home, I just will be glad when I get everything put away and can sit back and relax. You can't belive how much you accumulate being gone so long. Taylor is glad to be home. That is what is most important. She has not felt that great today, but I am hoping it is just due to the transition of coming home. She has been cold all day and her stomach has been bothering here. I am so scared she is about to get a fever or something. It is scary moving away from the comfort zone with all of the doctors and clinic so close to you. I will update you more this weekend, but for now I just wanted to let you know we made it home and all is well. Please continue to keep the prayers going for Taylor and my Mom. They still have to keep fighting to win this battle. Thank you again for all of the support and please keep up with us. Taylor has to go back to Duke next Wednesday for a CT Scan to recheck her lungs and Thursday to see the Doctor. They are not to concerned at this point about what they saw on the CT the other day. Please pray that whatever it was will resolve on it's own. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, October 23, 2002 at 03:49 PM (CDT)

Sorry about the slow updates. Well Taylor had her CT Scan on Monday like planned. Unfortunately, they found innumerable 1mm centrilobular pulmonary nodules in both lungs. Whatever that means. The doctors are not very concerned at the moment. However, you better believe it just adds one more thing to put me down. They do not think it is fungus at the moment. They said if they were very concerned they would go in and biopsy it. Their thoughts at the moment are that it could be due to some of the medications or even all of the transfusions she has had. They are going to wait and do another scan in about 7 to 10 days and see if there are any changes. I ask all of you to please say some special prayers that whatever it is will resolve itself on its on. It has gotten me so down worrying about one more thing. The worst part is that Taylor can easily sense when I am worried. That makes it so hard for me. We should however, get to go home on Friday and come back around Wednesday of next week for the test. Just one more thing to make me another nervous wreck. They will also do alot of testing tomorrow. The one for donor cells will also be done. But, as we pull together once again and unite in prayer for Taylor we can and will get the results we need. Please continue to pray for her daily as we still have so many little obstacles ahead of us as her body works on becoming stronger each day. She is so excited to go home. We all are for that matter. We still will have to go to the clinic at home, but at least we will be home. My Mom is getting her chemo this week also. It will be two more weeks before they do the tumor marker to see if it has helped. Please continue to keep them both in your prayers and I know our Father in Heaven will continue to bless them as he already has. Say an extra pray for me that I can be stronger and hang in there also. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 06:49 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Well it is Sunday night again and everyone is gone home. This was the hardest time so far to see everyone go and leave us behind again. I want to go home so badly. I really miss being home with all of my family so much. I have been away from my family just too much over the past year and a half. I can’t hardly wait to get home again and have Taylor back in her own house where she wants to be so much. I looked forward to all of the holidays right around the corner. I just pray daily that Taylor and my Mom will be well and we can have a wonderful holiday season together. I continue to know that without a doubt through the great power of prayer and faith they both can be made whole and well. I also know we should not doubt, but have that perfect faith. I ask all of you to pray for me that I can be strong and keep that perfect faith without wavering. Sometimes it is so hard not to be just plain scared. There are so many sick children here and it makes it very hard. A very sweet girl, 21 years of age, died this weekend. Her name was Amanda. She was around day 100 and had a few problems then her heart got weak and she died. She was doing so well before that. You just never know when you can feel safe to let your guard down. I just pray daily for that peace in my heart to know that Taylor will be cured. I do have the faith and know without a doubt in my mind that our Father in Heaven can do all. I know that he has the ability to cure Taylor and my Mom. I just have to stay strong and keep the faith. I ask all of you to continue to pray daily to our Father in Heaven on their behalf. He does love us and he is truly our Father. Taylor will begin all of her test this week so she can go home Friday. Tomorrow she has a CT Scan to look at her lungs one more time just to be sure they remain free of fungus. Then on Thursday she will have test on her heart and lungs, and they will test her blood for many things along with making sure she is still 100% donor cells. I ask all of you to say a few extra prayers for her this week that all of her test will be good. Also, my Mom will go through another round of chemo this week. Please pray for her that these treatments will work and get her into remission. They have been very hard on her and we need them to work. This weekend was a lot of fun for Taylor. My brother and his family came down on Saturday afternoon. Taylor had so much fun being with everyone. It was really great for all of our spirits. Taylor did not need platelets today. The last time she got them was Friday. Today she was down to 22. I just hope and pray she can make it one more day without needing them. I just want to thank all of you for your continued support. I appreciate all of the prayers more than anything. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom and we can make it. Thanks again for all of your continued support and the many entries in the guestbook. I truly enjoy reading all of them. It helps more than you will every know. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Thursday, October 17, 2002 at 10:41 PM (CDT)

Hello again! Sorry for the slow updates this week. My Mom and Shannon came to visit us. They got here yesterday. It is always great to have company. We do get lonely around here. It is also great spending time with my Mom. She is still pretty tired, but continues to try to do all she can. She has to start chemo again next week. This chemo has been pretty tough on her. I just ask you continue to pray for her that it will do the trick and get her into remission. Taylor has really enjoyed her and Shannon being here. She has pretty much wore them out playing. Taylor had her visit with the doctor at the clinic today. Everything seems to be on schedule. Her platelet count was not that great today, but hopefully she will hold on to them for another day. The doctors feel good about us going home next week. So for now that is the plan. Taylor has a CT scan of her chest on Monday to recheck for the fungus and then several test on Thursday. They also will recheck for donor cells to make sure she remains 100% donor cells. I ask all of you for special prayers this upcoming week that all will go well with the test and most of all with the donor test. Please pray that she remains 100% donor cells and that they can continue to fight off any bad cells that may remain. Taylor has fought so long now and she deserves to be well. I know that her Heavenly Father continues to bless her daily. I am so proud of her, she has handled all of the many things she has had to face with such a great attitude. I am just honored to be her mother. I am so thankful she is my little girl. I am also thankful for each of you who pray for her and my Mom daily. I know without a doubt as we continue to pray to our Father in Heaven he will continue to bless them both daily. We just have to continue to have the faith and all will be well. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, October 15, 2002 at 10:40 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Well it is Tuesday night and we are still up. Taylor hangs out as late as anyone else. She is feeling pretty good. She did have to get platelets today. We actually made it four whole days this time. She is still having a few issues with her kidneys. They feel she is most likely just dehydrated (don't know who to spell it). I am working hard on getting her to drink and eat, but that is such a tough battle right now. It is hard to believe how much they change. At first she ate everything she saw and now I can hardly get her to eat anything. We have to get her chemistry straight or that could keep us here. Please pray for her to be able to eat and drink so she will be able to go home next week. She is so excited about leaving here. She also had to get blood yesterday, but that was the first time in 3 weeks. That was pretty good for her. I am so thankful for each and everyone of you who continue to sign the guestbook and keep in contact with us. It really helps being away from home. My Mom is still very tired, but feels better after getting blood this past weekend. She is due for another round of chemo next week. Please keep praying for Taylor and my Mom and through this great power I know they can be well again. Our Father in Heaven is very aware of our needs and wants to help us anyway he can. We just have to have the faith and let him know continually of the desires of our heart. He loves us and wants us to be happy. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, October 13, 2002 at 04:02 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! It is Sunday afternoon and all is well. Taylor did not need platelets today and this is the first time she has made it for three days. Things are looking good. She continues to do well. Her kidneys are having a few issues, but hopefully they will get right with a few extra prayers from everyone. I believe it is due to all the stomach virus she has had. That is getting better so hopefully so will everything else. We will keep a close watch on that for the next several days. Some of it is due to her not eating or drinking much either. I guess she has been putting out more fluids than she is getting in. Please pray for her that everything will work out and she will be able to leave Oct. 25 as planned. She is so excited about going home as we all are. She has had another good weekend with the whole family being together. She loves having everyone together. Hopefully, if my Mom is up to it she will be able to come down with Shannon for a couple of days this week. She will begin another round of chemo the last week of October. She had to go and get blood today. She was getting so weak and out of breath. Please continue to pray for her as well. I have learned that through the power of prayer and faith so much is possible. The Lord does love us and we just have to talk with him continually and he will listen and answer our prayers as we let him know the desires of our hearts. I know this to be true with all the miracles I have seen happen for Taylor over this past year and a half. She has been so blessed . I am so thankful for all of you her pray for her and my Mom everyday. I will never be able to thank you enough, but please just keep praying as they both have such a way to go. Today we had a visit from family passing through on the way back home to Kentucky. It was great to have company and Taylor enjoyed their visit. It was her Nana’s brother Dennis, his wife Carolyn, and their grandson. It is always nice to see some new faces. Well I guess that is it for now, but please just remember to keep the faith and all will be well. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Thursday, October 10, 2002 at 10:20 PM (CDT)

A very quick update tonite. Taylor's doctor visit went well today. They did not change anything today. She did have stomach problems again today and she also needed platelets. The doctor said the stomach virus she has could stay around for months. Her weight does continue to drop and they will watch that. He said at this point he did not see any reason that we should not go home on day 100. Taylor is very excited because her dad and brothers will be here tomorrow. We do not have to drop labs tomorrow so that means no clinic for us except school. I talked with my Mom today and she is really feeling down. She is very weak from all of the chemo. Once again I ask all of you to continue to pray for them both and keep the faith strong. Miracles can and do happen. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, October 09, 2002 at 07:57 PM (CDT)

Hello again. I bet you are suprised to see another entry so soon. Well nothing really going on just wanted to check in. Taylor has not had one upset stomach today. That is the first time since late August. They stopped one of the meds for her stomach today. She also did not have to get platelets again today. Tomorrow we might not be so lucky. Her cutoff is 10 and we were at 15 today, but at least we have made it for two days again. She only had to go to the clinic for the past two days for school. We took her to the park today. She had such a good time. It is so hard to believe how much she is starting to act like her old self. I am enjoying it so much. She laughs, plays, moves around more, and is generally just feeling better. It is so wonderful. She just talks about going home all the time. She is so excited that the time is so close. She talked with my Mom the other night and gave her a grocery list of all the foods she wanted her to have at her house for her when she gets home. We still will have to be isolated from everyone most of the time, but at least we will be able to be home. Also, we will be able to help take care of Grandma. I am so thankful for all the blessings Taylor has recieved over the past months. I am so thankful for the knowledge that I have of prayer and faith. I do know without a doubt it makes a difference. I just ask all of you to continue to pray for her and my Mom as they both have such a long way ahead of them. Thank you for all of your support. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, October 08, 2002 at 10:37 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Just a little note tonite. Taylor did not have any bloodwork today so I don't have a clue how the platelets are. We will do labs tomorrow though. I just hope and pray they hang in there for at least another day. She has had a lot of stomach aches today. I just wish this virus would go away. We are getting so close to going home and I don't want anything to mess it up. Taylor wants to go home so bad. She must ask me a hundred times a day to tell her how many more days before her daddy and brothers are coming back. She starts asking as soon as they leave. In so many ways she is starting to act like her old self again. She is not running yet, but her little humor and such is starting to return. She still does not talk to anyone but family too much, but that will come also. She has spent most of this day coloring. It is now 11:30pm and she is still coloring. I am just so thankful for all of you who pray for her continually. I do know without a doubt that the power of prayer can and does work mighty miracles. I know that through our Saviour Jesus Christ all things are possible. Taylor has been so blessed through all of this. She has come through this transplant without any major problems and I know that is because she has been so blessed from our Father in Heaven. He does hear and answer our prayers. I just ask each of you to continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom and keep the faith and they will be healed. Love, Taylor Mom's Neena

Monday, October 07, 2002 at 06:17 PM (CDT)

Hello again! Good news! Taylor was able to hold her platelets from Friday until today. She dropped to 9 today, but made it through the weekend. Two days is a start. We have done that once before, but hopefully this time it will continue. Thank you for all the prayers you have been sending her way. The adenovirus seems like it might be a little better today also. Hopefully, we are on a roll now and will get to go home on day 100 (Oct. 25). Taylor has really been sad today ever since her dad and brothers left. She loves for them to be here. It is just me, Layne and Taylor this week. It is a little more lonely when no one else is with us, but we are lucky to have Layne here. So many people are here all alone just with their child. I can’t imagine having to be here all alone like that. I ask the doctor if I could go home and come back tomorrow. He said I could, but the Nurse Practitioner made me worry about something happening and I got scared and decided not to. Taylor was quite upset, but she is ok about it now. I just wanted to go home and spend some time with my Mom & Family. Terry is probably glad we did not surprise them without some warning. I am sure they have a few things to do around the house before we show up. Our time will come soon and we will be home. Once again I would like to thank all of you who sign the guestbook and send cards and such to Taylor. It really does help being away from home. I will never be able to thank all of you enough. Once again I just ask that you continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom. I know that our Heavenly Father is looking out for each of them. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Friday, October 04, 2002 at 06:56 PM (CDT)

Hello! Well not alot is new here. We still are not making platelets very well and Taylor was retested and still has the adeno virus. They tried a new drug on her today. They have not used it for this before, but we are hopeful it will clear it up. Yesterday her platelets went to 43. That is the highest since transplant. I just knew we were going to be on the right road, but today they were 9. It was so depressing. The doctors say we will not be able to go home on day 100 if we are not making platelets better than that. They won't her down to at least 2 transfusions a week. I ask all of you for special prayers that her platelets will begin to come in and she will be able to go home. She wants to go home so much as we all do. I need to get home to be with my mom also. I want to be there for her so much. She finished another round of chemo today. Today when I talked with her I could her how weak and down she was. It really breaks my heart to be here and not able to be there for her as she has always been for me. Please pray for her also that this chemo will work and she will get into remission. I want so much for the upcoming holidays to be filled with joy and most of all good health for Taylor and my Mom. They both deserve it so much. I know without a doubt in my mind that Taylor has been truly blessed by her Father in Heaven. She has done so well through what could have been such an awful experience. Please just continue to remember them both in your daily prayers and keep the faith strong and we can work the miracles in their lives they so badly need. Please check in once in a while I really do miss the little notes from all of you. Please continue to let me know you are out there because I depend on your help so much. Also, we want Nana to know we really enjoyed her being here this week. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 09:38 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Just a quick note tonite. Taylor does still have the adeno virus in her colon. Hopefully, it won't take much longer to get rid of it. The doctors say it just takes time with their immune system being so weak. We had to get platelets again today also. I guess every other day is just the way it is going to be for now. They say they will come around sooner or later. I just don't know if they will let us go home until she is doing a little better than that. Please pray for her that they will start too grow and she will get to go home on the 25th. She is so excited about going home. She is having a good week though. She has gone to the park for two days. We have been on the see-saw with Nana. Taylor has the best time doing that. She even went up the slide yesterday. Well tomorrow is her clinic day with the doctor I will let you know how that goes and if there is any changes. Please continue to pray for her and my Mom because I know without a doubt that is where the true healing power is. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena P.S. I have some cute pictures coming up!

Monday, September 30, 2002 at 06:21 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Well it is Monday evening again. Most of all the last day of September. We are now on our count down to home. Hopefully, we only have 25 days to go. Taylor had a great weekend with her family all being here again. There is nothing that makes Taylor any happier than having all of her family together. Also, Nana is spending another week with us too. Taylor and Nana are enjoying coloring together again. Over the weekend Taylor had to go to the clinic to get platelets on Saturday and then to check her on Sunday. She has started having a little problem with her kidneys. She has been having very watery bowel movements which is probably getting her kidneys off. Today they gave her something called bi-carb to help. They are doing another test to see if she has another type of virus. If nothing shows there they will look down into her stomach with a scope. Her platelets are still not hanging on very well. She has to get them every other day. That could be do to her bone marrow being so wiped out from two transplants or sometimes it is caused by GVHD. Hopefully, we can get this straight so we will not be held pass our 100 day mark. Other than that Taylor is seeming to do pretty well. Today for the first time since transplant we took her to the park. She wanted to do the see-saw with Nana. She laughed and had a good time. It is so great to hear her laughing and playing. I never realized how much the sound of her laughter meant too me. I know through all of this I have become a better person. It is an awful way to learn something, but none the less I have. Taylor has taught me so much. All of these little children I see each day or so precious. Most important I have learned of the great love of our Father in Heaven and exactly how important the power of prayer is in our life. I just ask all of you to continue to pray for Taylor and that she will soon be home and never have to face this battle again. That she will be healthy and strong and run and play. Also, my Mom began her chemo again this week. Please pray that for her it will do the job and get her in remmission. I am so thankful for all of you who take the time to include them both in your daily prayers. Also, for the many cards you send Taylor. She goes to the mailbox each night and looks to see if she has any mail. Please sign in my guestbook when you get the chance I really enjoy reading what you have to say. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, September 30, 2002 at 06:21 PM (CDT)

Friday, September 27, 2002 at 08:14 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Well it is Friday again. We have made it through another week. Taylor has had a pretty good week. She only had to go to the clinic twice for meds. We went everyday for school. She has been a little sick on her stomach today and last night, I think the magnesuim makes her sick sometimes. Fortunately she does not have to get it everyday. Her labs were pretty good today. Her platelets only went from 10 to 21 from yesterdays infusion. I will be very curious to see if she can hang above 10 tomorrow. We got her letter today for 100 day studies. They are planned for Oct. 24. If everything stays on track we should be out of her by the 25th. I can't hardly believe we have less than 30 days to go now. The doctor said we may even be able to go home in a couple of weeks for the weekend depending on if her platelets start coming around. Taylor had a good time this past week with her cousin Shannon being here. Also, it was really nice to see my Mom again and have her with us. She left today with Shannon to go back home. Then this afternoon her daddy and brothers came for the weekend. Taylor just loves when we are all together. I ask each of you to continue to pray for her daily as she continues down this road. I do believe we can and will beat this battle. I also know that the power of prayer is the most important factor in making her well. Also, please pray for my Mom as she begins another week of chemo next week. It has been hard on her, but she continues to hang in there. I am so thankful for all of you as you care for our family and pray for them daily. I will never be able to thank you enough. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, September 25, 2002 at 06:58 PM (CDT)

Hello! Today was another good day for Taylor. She did not have to get anything at the clinic today or yesterday. She finally held onto platelets for two days. They were only 13 today which means tomorrow we can plan on it, but at least we finally made it for two days. Tomorrow is her clinic day for IVIG and seeing the doctor. So I will let you know of any changes they make after that. She actually rode her bike this afternoon. It is nice that the weather is starting to cool down so she can go outside. Wearing the mask makes it hard when it is so hot. My Mom went to the doctor also today. Her tumor maker actually went from 800 to 900, but the doctor said that was not anything to worry about. The chemo she is on is slow acting and he did not really expect to see any changes this early. He said it will take about to more rounds of chemo to see if it is working or not. I can only ask that you continue to pray for her that it will work and get her into remmission. My Mom also came down today. The nurse told her this would be a good time to come visit if she could. So she drove down by herself today. She was very tired when she got her, but at least Shannon will be here to ride back with her to keep her company. Taylor was very glad to see her again. Well I guess that is about it for now. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom that they will both regain their good health and strength. I know without a doubt when we unite as one in prayer for a purpose our Father in Heaven does hear and answer our prayers. Thank you so much for your support. Also, feel free to write me a note know and then in my guestbook. I enjoying reading what you have to say also. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, September 23, 2002 at 07:24 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Today was a long day. Well first we did not even get up until 11:30. I did get up at 7 and draw blood and start meds. They went on and off all morning. Then we went to the clinic at 1:30 and got out at 7pm. Taylor finally had to get blood and platelets along with her breathing treatment. What a day. The good news is tomorrow we do not have to get anything. We are not even going to bring labs in the morning. That is a first for us since we got out of transplant. Tomorrow all Taylor has to do is go to the clinic for school and to pick up her medicine for her stomach. All of her labs were good today. She still continues on the right track. Shannon (her cousin) is her this week and that is a nice change for her. We are at day 67 now. Not to far away from 100 now. It will be so great to go home. The good thing is that we will be getting home just in time for all of the holidays to begin. Today was Tyler's 13th birthday. I sure will be glad when we don't have to continue to miss the birthdays along with everything else. This is the second year in a row we have not been home for his birthday. That will all be over soon. My Mom goes to her doctor on Wednesday to get results of her chemo thus far. Please pray the number will be down and the chemo will be working. Thanks again for all of your prays and the love you show our family daily. We will win this battle this time. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, September 21, 2002 at 03:16 AM (CDT)

New Pictures!! Dear Friends & Family. It is 3am and as I lie in my bed I feel such the urge to let you know the feelings of my heart. I know without a doubt we have a sweet loving Father in Heaven who cares for us and knows all the desires of our heart and through our loving brother Jesus Christ all things are possible. I know without a doubt that Taylor has truly been blessed through them. That through all the many prayers, fasting and priesthood blessings she has received all things are possible. She is truly an example of their love for us. I know that if I can have that perfect faith, doubting nothing all things are possible. I just pray daily that I will have the strength to have that type of faith. Being a mother it is so hard not to be scared and anxious most all the time, but I just pray daily that I will be strong and not let my faith wavier that I may have the strength to heal my daughter and mother through the great source of our Savior Jesus Christ. I know that through him all things are possible. I could not begin to imagine going through this without this knowledge. I have never been more humble in all of my life. I know that through these great trials I have been ask to face I will somehow become a better person for it. I just pray that through it all my little girl and mother will be healed. I have learned so much over the past 16 months. Life is so precious and we need to thank our Father in Heaven daily for our health and strength and mostly for the health and strength of your children. I never knew how many little sick children there were. These children are such sweet spirits of our Father in Heaven and why they have been asked to suffer such great things I will never know, but I do know that it is through their examples we learn so much. I ask all of you to remember all of them and pray daily for them. Once again I just want you to know that I do know without a doubt our Father in Heaven loves each and every one of us dearly and knows the desires of our heart. I just pray constantly that he will hear my prayers and heal my daugher and mother. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 09:51 PM (CDT)

Today went well for Taylor. She actually did not have to get blood. Her count went from 8.1 to 8.4. Her cut off number is 8.0. Well maybe tomorrow we will need blood. She did get platelets though. The doctor was very pleased with her progress. The only thing at this time they are worried about, is that Taylor is not moving around enough. They are going to have her start Physical Therapy in another week. They said it was very important to get her moving around more. It is so hard to do. There is really no place to take her and she does not want to move around much at all. I guess I am going to have to work harder at finding ways to get her some exercise. She does have a hard time moving her legs. She can't hardly get up and down the curbs. It is hard to push her about some things, but I am going to work harder on this. Maybe when it finally gets cooler outside I can get her to go out a little more. The mask she wears really makes her hot and she does not like being out. Well it is almost another weekend and Taylor is looking forward to her dad and brothers coming. Also, Shannon her cousin is going to spend next week with us. That will be nice for her and Layne. We wanted to go to a Family Reunion in Goldsboro this weekend (that is about 2 hours away), but the doctor said no way. I told him it was at a park, but he still did not agree to it. It was worth a try. I talked with my Mom tonite and she is really tired. She also has low blood and is not feeling so well herself. Hopefully, she will start feeling better as the shots they give her start working. Well once again I ask all of you to continue to pray for them both and keep the faith. I have really had a good day today and feel very positive about both of them. I am trying to keep my faith strong and not have any of those doubts enter my mind. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena P.s. I will get some new pictures very soon.

Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 09:51 PM (CDT)

Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 09:08 PM (CDT)

Hello, just a quick note tonite. I was going to wait until after our big clinic day tomorrow, but I thought I would let you know everything is well. Tomorrow is Taylor's day to see the doctor and make any changes to her meds. She will probably have a long day tomorrow. A good chance she will have to get blood and platelets tomorrow along with IVIG. That is at least 5 1/2 hours right there. Today was actually the first day that Taylor only had to go to the clinic for school since we got out of the hospital. It was a great change for her. Taylor is still very busy coloring all the time. She sat down at 6pm and colored until 9pm. We color right along with her. I am glad she enjoys doing it so much. It won't be long know and she will be home again and I can't wait. It will be so wonderful. Taylor has been a very blessed little girl. She has definetly had many miracles take place in her life and I know the big miracle lies right ahead of us. Please continue to pray for her and she is going to beat this cancer once and for all. I know that prayer has made a difference in her life. I am so thankful for a kind and loving Father in Heaven. Also, my Mom is still doing pretty good. The chemo does wear her down, but she is going to get in remmission this time also. She will have the results of how her chemo is working so far next Wednesday. Please pray for her also that the chemo will be working for her. Thank you again for all of your support and prayers. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, September 16, 2002 at 06:55 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Well it is now Monday evening and we are still doing great. Taylor has managed to hold on to her platelets a little better. She did not have to get them on Saturday or today. The extra praying paid off again. Today all she did at the clinc was go to school. Well they did look at her ear again also. It looks better, but still not well. They are going to send her to an ENT. The only thing is we could not get an appointment until Friday. It is sorta lonely around here today. Last week we had Nana here for the week and then over the weekend we had the whole family, plus grandma. Now it is back to Layne, Taylor, and me. Taylor has not smiled much today. I think she really misses everyone when they go home. I will be so glad when it is time to leave. Last transplant we were out of here around this time. It is really hard hanging out for the whole 100 days, but it is worth it over and over again as long as Taylor is well. Over the past weekend our church had a big conference in Raleigh. I know most of you know that we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon). Anyway as you know we believe there are still Apostles and a Prophet of God here on this earth at this time. So on Saturday some of the Apostles were at Raleigh for the meeting. I sent President Monson (an apostle) a letter concerning Taylor and my Mom. Today I found out that they were told about them and on Thursday when they all meet together they said they would pray for them. I was very excited to hear that. Not because I don't think the Lord already hears our prayers, but it is just one more group of people joining together with us to help them win this battle against cancer. I know that through this power alone they can be healed. I try so hard to keep that strong faith I need. I am much weaker at keeping the faith than I would like. I get so scared when I think about what could happen. Please pray that somehow I can be stronger and keep that unwavering faith that I need to help Taylor and my Mom be well. I love them both so much. Thank you again for all of your support and prayers for them both. I am so thankful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. I would not be able to go day to day without this knowledge. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, September 13, 2002 at 09:36 PM (CDT)

Hello! Well we spent another day at the clinic getting platelets. Yesterday they lowered her platelet count to 10 before transfusion. Today her count was 4. Just in case you don't know normal platelet counts are 150 and above. Her little legs are covered in bruises due to the lack of them. They just make me want to cry when I look at them. That was the lowest Taylor has ever been. Hopefully with lowering the count it will encourage her bone marrow to work harder to produce the platelets. The doctors feel between the virus she has and her bone marrow being so weak from two transplants that is the problem. They do feel they will come around it is just taking time. But, you know me everything just makes me nervous. I try so hard to be strong and brave, but I just get weak at times. I worry so much about Taylor. I just can't wait for all of this to be over. She gets hooked up in the morning to IV meds from 7am until 10am and then again at 7pm until about 10pm. Not to mention the time at the clinic. Also, her little legs are so weak from the steroids. She has to pick her legs up with her hands to move them around. I know she is so tired of all of this, but yet she still stands in there like the tough little trooper she is. I know without a doubt she has been so blessed by her Father in Heaven. I just continue to pray daily for that miracle she needs. I know that only time will tell, but I just have to believe everything will be ok. This weekend her Daddy, and brothers are all here. Also, Grandma got to come for the weekend. She had her chemo today and then her and Layne came down. We have not seen her for about a month. It was so nice to see her again. I know she is very tired, but she wanted so badly to see Taylor. This weekend she will have both grandma's to play with her. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom and together with your help we can win this battle through the power of prayer and faith. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 09:39 PM (CDT)

Hello. Just a very quick update tonite. Taylor is waiting for me to read her a story. I just wanted to let you know that her clinic day went pretty well. Dr. Mustafa says she is still on the right track. They are going to lower her platelet cut-off to 10. Hopefully, this will encourage her bone marrow to start making some. Just say a little prayer tonite that it will. Also, if her ear has not improved by next week we will have to go to the ENT. Hopefully, it will get better. I will update this weekend and put new pictures on. Taylor does have a new favorite thing to do now. She wants to color all day. So her Nana has spent a week of coloring with her. We just hope Layne will color when he gets back. Well got to go, but please remember Taylor and my Mom in your prayers and keep the faith. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 10:01 PM (CDT)

Hello! Everything is going well here. Taylor is still doing pretty good. Unfotunately, her ear has been hurting her this time. She actually asks for Tylenol. If you know anything about Taylor you know she never ask to take medicine by mouth. She hates that more than anything. So I guess it must hurt. Tonite we were in bed and she said, "Ok just go get me some Tylenol. Today I thought would be the first day we would not need anything. I was wrong. We needed platelets again. I don't know when they are going to start growing on their own. The doctor's still say it is nothing to worry about at this time. I will be glad when she starts getting some of her energy back. Her little legs are very hard for her to move around. The steroids make their muscles weak and I sure can tell. It has been rough not having Layne to carry her up to the second floor to our apartment. My back has been killing me. I told her tomorrow we were going to have to come up with a new plan, because I can't carry her up those stairs anymore. Today on the way to the clinic she started getting in one of those quite moods. I ask her what was wrong and she said she was just tired of going to the clinic. Taylor has spent nearly everyday since the first of May in a hospital or a clinic. I guess I just never thought about how tired she probably is from all of this. She has endured so much. I just pray daily that this will be over for her soon and she will be able to run and play with her cousins and be healthy and happy again. There is nothing I want more than that. There is not one thing more important to our family than to see Taylor healthy and happy again. Please continue to pray for her and my Mom that they will both soon see an end to this road and be well. Please pray also that Taylor's smiles and laughter will soon return to our lives. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, September 08, 2002 at 01:41 PM (CDT)

Hello again. We are still hanging in there. Taylor has another ear infection. She woke up Saturday morning crying. So she has started taking more medicine for that. Hopefully, we can get rid of it for good this time. She still needs to go to the clinic about everyday, but hopefully that will slow down soon. She had to get platelets 5 times last week. Finally, today we got a break from that, but still needed potassium. I ask all of you to continue to prayer for her daily. It has been hard for me the past few days. A couple of the kids up here have relapsed and that really makes it difficult for me. I can’t stand seeing these innocent little children have to go through so much. It just breaks my heart. Then I get so scared for Taylor it sometimes seems more than I can bear. Please pray that I also will have the strength to be strong for Taylor and not to let my faith weaken, because I truly believe in my heart Taylor can be healed through the power of prayer and faith alone. I just have to be strong and not doubt and let my faith weaken and I know everything will be ok. Please just pray that I will be able to keep my faith strong. Taylor is busy coloring right now with her Nana. Layne went home to help my Mom out for the week since my sister went to take her son out to Utah to serve his mission. I am so thankful he was able to go be with her and to help her. I just cant not stand not being able to be with her and what makes it worst she has not been able to come down here. She is so weak from all of the chemo. Also, she is suppose to start more chemo on Monday if her blood work is ok. Please also continue to pray for her. She has such a hard road ahead of her and needs all of the strength she can get. I love my Mom and Taylor so very much and just ask all of you to pray daily for them. I know our Father in Heaven is aware of their needs and loves them too. I do feel as we pray in numbers the Lord hears our prayers and it does make a difference. I am so thankful for all of you who continue to support our family during this hard journey we have been ask to face. I know in my heart all of you will be blessed for it. Once again I just ask of you to pray for them daily. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Thursday, September 05, 2002 at 07:06 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone. Where are all of you. Have not had hardly had any entries in my guestbook lately. I look forward to seeing what you write as much as you look forward to my updates. Please send my a note here and there to let me know you are still out there. It helps me to get through the days. Well, so much for my complaining. Taylor is still hanging in there. She still has to go to the clinic everyday for something. Her red blood cells really dropped fast this week. We got blood last Thursday and will most likely have to get it again tomorrow. We also continue to get platelets everyday or every other day. Today was the first day in a long time that she smiled and acted a little happier. We went to the clinic at about 11am and left around 3:30. It was our first time in about a month to actually have Dr. Mustafa back with us. It was great seeing him again and he even managed to get a smile out of Taylor. He said he was very pleased with Taylor’s progress. He said we went in this transplant with a lot of high risks and managed to come through it without any difficulties. He said Taylor had been a very blessed little girl. I asked him how he felt about everything and he said he was very optimistic. The day Taylor had her transplant her Daddy gave her a Priesthood blessing and said everything would be ok. Today Dr. Mustafa told me he remembered that prayer and he knew Taylor had been blessed by our Father in Heaven. It is not often you hear a Doctor give the credit to our Father in Heaven instead of medicine. It really touched my heart for him to say that. I too believe that our Father in Heaven has truly blessed my little girl. She has game through all of this without any great difficulty. Yet I do know that it is hard on her having to endure visits to the clinic everyday and not be home with her family and in her own environment. She has endured so much more than most of us could have endured, but most of all she has done it with such a great attitude and hardly any complaining. I know without a doubt she is one of our Father in Heaven’s most choice daughters. I am honored to be called her Mother. I just pray that I will be given the opportunity to raise her into a wonderful young lady who will someday be a mother herself. I ask all of you to continue to pray for her daily and have the faith that all will be well. Also, my Mother is having a hard time right now fighting her cancer. Please continue to pray for her also that she will get into remission this time and have the opportunity to be well and whole again. I am so thankful for each of you who continue to pray for my Mother and Taylor it means everything to me. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena P.S. you can now check Taylor out on the website www.dukehealth.org/ptot/index.asp

Monday, September 02, 2002 at 05:11 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Sorry for a slow update, but you know I am another year older now and just a little slower already. It was nice having the whole family here for my birthday. Terry's mom and dad were here too. It is a good thing or I might not have gotten a cake. You know how boys are. Well Taylor is still doing pretty good. She is still a little down with a virus they found in her stowels. It is called adenovirus. That is what was causing the stomach problems for her. The bad news is she has to take medicine by mouth twice a day to get rid of it. She is also on contact isolation now. That means when the doctors or nurses see her they have to wear gowns and gloves. Taylor sure was sad to see everyone go home this morning. It is only Taylor, Layne and me again. It was nice having all of the boys here last week. Even if they were awfully loud and busy. I sure hate not being home tomorrow to see them off to their first day of school for the year. I know that Jonathan is a senior after all and Tyler will be in the eighth grade now, but I still want to be there with them. What I hate the most is that tomorrow would have been Taylor's first day of school. I still remember all of my other children's first day. I know she will soon be home and her first official school day will come, but I so wish she was not having to go through all of this and could have her normal little life back. She has had a long journey and has endured it well, but we are both ready to go home and have everything the way it use to be. I guess for me it will never be the same. I will always hold my family much closer to me and be thankful for everyday we are together. I have learned so much over the past year, but mostly I have learned that our Father in Heaven loves us dearly and knows our needs without a doubt. Also, I am so thankful for all of you who pray for Taylor and my Mom. Please continue to support them with your prayers and faith and all things are possible. I know that our prayers are heard and answered by a loving Father in Heaven. Thanks again for all of your support. I have updated our new address and phone number at the bottom of the page. Taylor is calling so I have to go. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 09:36 PM (CDT)

Hello! We are still hanging in there. Now at day 43 post transplant. Only have 57 days to go before we return home! The good news is that after Saturday we only have to go to clinic when we need something. Unfortunately, that is most everyday anyway. She had to get plateletts again today after getting them yesterday. She is still having a hard time holding onto them. She saw the doctor today. He thought all in all she was doing well. She has had an ear infection this week. She also is very tired and does not do much of anything. The doctor said the steroids really wear on their bodies. It makes their muscles tired and weak and also makes them tired and depressed. He also had to remind me that her body has been through an awful lot in the past year and she is probably just tired of all of it. I am just ready to see her perk up again and start talking at least too me. I was use to her not talking to anyone else. She has been having a lot of stomach aches and diearea (do not know how to spell it). They were checking her stowels for any infections. They said it also could be a little bit of GVHD. Please continue to pray for her and keep the faith for her to be well. I long for the day to see her healthy and happy again, running and playing with her cousins and enjoying herself as any little 5 year old girl should. She has really enjoyed her brothers this week. Her daddy is coming in the morning and she is excited about that also. We are going to be moving tomorrow to another apartment. We have been having an ant issue and we are changing apartments. So if you were going to send any cards please hold them and I will post our new address over the weekend as well as our new phone number. My Mom had to start getting shots this week to help her cells grow also. Her blood counts are low so they wanted to give her some shots to help with keeping infections away also. Please continue to pray for her as well. I know that our Father in Heaven is very aware and hears all of the prayers offered for them. You will never know how much your prayers and the faith you have mean to me and my family. Thank you again for all of your support. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 09:02 PM (CDT)

Hello, it is Tuesday evening and we are all tired. Taylor recieved blood today. This was the first time in about 2 1/2 weeks. Hopefully, she will be a little more energetic now. She is sleeping right now. She had her Best Buddy over for dinner tonite. She enjoyed that alot. She likes to have company. I think she gets tired of looking at the same old people all the time. She is enjoying all of her brothers being here right now. For me, after spending a couple of days with them I can only imagine what my house must look like in Virginia. I forgot how messy they were. I guess that is just typical of 12 and 16 year old boys, but I wish we were all home and I was cleaning up after them instead of being here. I really do miss being at home. I also want to be home to help take care of my Mom. I know she is hanging in there, but I want to be there for her so much. I know all she wants is for me to take care of Taylor. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom and keep the faith strong and all will be well for them. Thanks again for your cointinued support. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 12:56 PM (CDT)

Hello! We are still doing well here in Durham. Taylor does not have to get anything at the clinic today, but we still have to go so they can check her over. She has to go everyday until day 45. We are getting closer. Taylor had a good visit with her grandparents this weekend. She played alot of games with them and watched movies. They left about an hour ago and now it is just Taylor with Mom and Dad. Her brothers will be here tomorrow. She is looking forward to that. I just want to let all of you know how thankful I am for a loving and kind Heavenly Father. I was thinking last night, and I don't know what I would do if I did not have the knowledge of the Savior in my life. I know that it is through him all things are possible. I would be devastated without this. I feel very good about Taylor being well. I know that her Father in Heaven loves her and has heard all the prayers for her. Please continue to pray for her as she still has such a long road ahead of her, but I know that we can beat the battle this time. Also, remember my Mom. She has started her chemo again and needs to get in remission this time. Her family needs her here. She is the center of all of our lives. She almost has 3 grandsons out on a mission now and Layne will make 4 very soon. She so deserves to be here when they return home. She is the reason for all of them being out there. She taught her children and we have taught ours in return. I will always be grateful to my parents who taught me the gospel of Jesus Christ. Thank you again for all of your support and if you get a chance drop a card to Taylor. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 08:51 PM (CDT)

Hello! All is still going well in Durham. Taylor spent about 5 hours at the clinic today getting meds and seeing the doctor. He said she was doing very well and they are pleased with her progress at this time. Today she is post transplant day 36. We only have 64 days until we are home. Layne is going home for the weekend in the morning. He is very excited to be going home. He will return Monday with Tyler and Jonathan so they can spend the week before they go back to school. Terry is coming tomorrow night. Taylor counts the days waiting for her daddy to come. She is still enjoying her school work at the clinic. I am so thankful for all of you who continue to support us and pray daily for Taylor and my Mom. I know that through the great power of prayer and faith they will be healed. I would be so lost if it were not for this. Thanks again. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 10:41 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Things are still going well for Taylor. She still has to go to the clinic to get plateletts and potassium most everyday. It will be nice when we finally get a day where we do not have to go, but that will not be for a while yet. She has started school at the clinic also. She really enjoys it. She meets with the teacher for an hour everyday. I would have never thought her first day of school would have been in this type of setting. I have thought about her first day of school many times and never did I think she would have to start school in a hospital atmosphere. I am just thankful she is doing so well and feels like doing school. Taylor has been blessed with such miracles in her life over the past several months. Today I was talking with someone here about how Taylor had been so blessed throughout this transplant. I know that she has been truly blessed by our Heavenly Father. I know that he has heard all of the many prayers in her behalf. I am so thankful to each and everyone of you for caring and praying for Taylor. She is still very quite and not very energetic, but I know that is due to the steroids. I will be glad when they get the dose down and she becomes more like her old self. Tonite all she wanted to know was when her Daddy was coming back. She sure does miss her family all not being together. My Mom started her chemo on Monday. So far she is tolerating it pretty well. We just have to pray and have the faith that it will get her into remission this time. Thank you again for all of you support and continued prayers. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 06:56 PM (CDT)

Well it is Sunday evening and we are lonely again. Terry, Jonathan, Tyler, Grandma and Chad have all gone home. It is always so lonely on Sunday night when everyone is gone and we know they are all at Grandma's and we are here. Taylor really looks forward to seeing her family so much. She really misses being at home. Also, our friends Beth, Helen, and Landon came to visit us this weekend we really enjoyed seeing them. When they all left we went to the clinic to get more potassium and plateletts. That is petty much what we get everyday right now. Taylor is still doing pretty well. Her white count today was 7.5. I just hope and pray that we stay on that right track and Taylor will soon be home and free from all of the worries of being sick. She deserves so much to just be a normal little healthy 5 year old girl. I can't harly wait until that happens. It was hard saying bye to my Mom today knowing that she has to go home know and face more chemo herself. I wish so badly that I could be there to help her through it. I ask all of you to continue to pray and keep the faith for Taylor and my Mom and all will be well. They will win this battle. Thank you again for all of your continued support and mostly for the prayers. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 06:36 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! We received another report today on Taylor’s donor cells and it is 99% cord blood. That is about the best it can get. The doctors are very pleased. Of course we are thrilled with the continued great progress that Taylor is having. I know without a doubt that I owe it all to my Father in Heaven. Taylor is truly being blessed. I am so thankful that I have the knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ to relay on in my life. We continue to go to the clinic daily and receive meds usually 2 to 4 hours a day. Taylor is having a hard time holding onto platelets. She has a lot of bruising. The doctors say that is just normal for cord blood kids. Layne will be getting his central line out in the morning. He played such a major role in helping Taylor through this transplant. Layne helps many people up here. All of the different families really enjoy him being here. He tries very hard to do anything he can to help others that are here. I am so thankful that he is able to be here with me and Taylor. He has put his life on hold to be here with us. When we return home he will put his paperwork in to serve his 2 year mission for our church. The news for my Mom was not as good as we hoped for. Her tumor marker was up from 135 to 800. She will have to begin getting chemo this coming Monday. Taylor was really looking forward to her coming down here to spend the week with us. We were so hopeful that she would not have to start chemo again. Her hair was just starting to come in good and she was beginning to feel better. She will be on chemo until late October when we return home. Please continue to pray for her that she too will be able to overcome this cancer and have time to continue enjoying her family here on this earth. She has now sent two grandsons off on a mission and about to send a 3rd in a few more weeks. It won’t be long and Layne will be going also. She wants so badly to be able to be well enough to be here to see them all return home. Also, she wants to be able to enjoy seeing Taylor healthy and strong again. She is a wonderful mother and grandmother and so deserves to be well. Sometimes I feel so guilty because I feel I spend so much time praying for Taylor I don’t say enough for her. I just want them both to be well so badly. Please remember them both in your prayers daily and through the power of prayer and faith miracles can and do happen. I am so thankful for all of your continued support and e-mails. It helps me make it through the days. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 07:50 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Taylor is still doing great. She has had a wonderful day today. She got to go to Lacy's birthday party. That is a little girl from home that is here also getting a transplant. Taylor really had a good time. She was there for about 4 hours. It was nice for her to have a place to go besides the clinic or hospital. After the party she had to go to the clinic and get some meds though. We are just sitting around the apartment now getting ready to watch a movie. We sure do miss everyone at home. October 26th seems like such a long time away from now. Tomorrow is a big day for my Mom. She will find out if her cancer marker has stayed the same. I sure hope and pray that it has. It is time for her and Taylor too return to a normal life and be healthy and happy. I know that with all of the continued prayers and faith of everyone this can and will happen for them. If anyone wants to send cards to Taylor the new address is on the bottom of this page. Thank you again for all of the love and support you have shown our family through all of this. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, August 11, 2002 at 10:22 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! It is Sunday evening and time for bed. Taylor likes to stay up late and watch movies and of course eat. We had to go to the clinic both yesterday and today. Of course we get to go everyday next week also. I guess if it were not for the clinic we would not have any where to go. Taylor had fun with her Dad and brothers this weekend except they had to go home to fast for her. They had to leave early today and she was not too happy about that. She said all she wanted was to have dinner with her whole family. We like being out of the hospital, but it is sorta boring just sitting in the apartment all day by ourselves. The good thing is however that Taylor is still doing well. I know that she has truly been once again blessed by our Father in Heaven. I am so thankful to have the knowledge of a Father in Heaven who loves us and cares for us so much. Without this I know I would be completely lost. As we continue to pray and have the faith I know that Taylor will continue to be blessed and healed of this disease. Also, this week please remember my Mom. She will find out on Wednesday if her cancer has stayed the same or not. I am so thankful for all of you and for the prayers you offer in their behalf each and everyday. Well Taylor is actually telling me to go to bed. I guess I better take advantage of this and go to bed. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, August 09, 2002 at 09:50 PM (CDT)

Hello tonite from our little apartment in Durham. Taylor did get to go home today. She was very excited to go home. We did not leave until about 5pm because she got some blood before we left. The doctors are very pleased with her progress at this time. They did a CT scan of her lungs last night to check the fungus and it was still clear. At this time they do not plan on using anymore of Layne's white blood cells. We have to go to the clinic 7 days a week until we are at day 45. We are now on day 22. I guess you can at least say we will have somewhere to go everyday. I can not believe we are out of the hospital so soon. I now that Taylor has truly been blessed by her Heavenly Father. I know as we continue to pray for her and keep the faith she will continue to do well and be cured. She is sitting up waiting for her daddy and brothers to get here. It is 11pm and she says she is not going to bed until they get here. I don't think I can hang out with her that long. She has turned into a night owl lately. Please continue to pray for her and my mom and together we will all help them to win their battles. Love, Taylor Mom Neena

Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 02:53 PM (CDT)

Finally the waiting is over. The test is back and the results were good. They found 64% to be from Layne and 36% was the new cord blood. I am so thankful for this news. They did another one today which will probably show 100% cord blood because she has not recieved anything from Layne since last Saturday. The doctors were very encouraged with these results being they were done so early. I am so thankful to each and everyone of you who pray for Taylor each and everyday. I know wihtout a doubt this makes the difference for her. I have been feeling very weak the past few days. I get down so easily. I don't mean to I just can't help worrying way more than I should. I am trying so hard to just pust my trust in our Heavenly Father and not to worry. I guess I am just too human. Also, now my Mom goes for her tumor marker test tomorrow. Then we will have to wait until next week for that result also. Please keep her in your prayers this week as she waits that she too will hear good news. I am so ready for all the worry to go away and just have the ones I love so much healed and able to live a normal life again. I really do miss being home and being with all of my children. They have gone so long without really having a mom around. They have been strong through all of this. Also, me and Terry have not had anytime together hardly for over a year now, but for me and him we both just worry about Taylor and want whatever is best for her. Please continue to pray to our Heavenly Father and with great faith we will work this miracle in her life and for my Mom also. Also, I failed to mention we should go home from the hospital tomorrow. We still have to stay in Durham until October 26, but that is a small price to pay for Taylor to be all well. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 07:15 PM (CDT)

Still no news on the test. The doctors expect it by tomorrow for sure. The doctor on the floor this week says he still does not expect it to show us much. Taylor's white blood count dropped down to .9 this morning. They think it will go lower this week without Layne. They will start giving her white blood cells from Layne again on Thursday. Today Terry, Jonathan, Tyler and Shannon left. Taylor really hated for them to go. She did get to go on another pass today. We went to the apartment and just layed around. The doctor today says he is planning on us getting out of the hospital Friday. Of course then we get to start going to the clinic 7 days a week. Well I will let you know as soon as I know about the test. Continue to pray for Taylor and she will get through all of this soon. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, August 05, 2002 at 06:33 PM (CDT)

Hello again! Well no news today on the test. It should be tomorrow. I had to worry all day for nothing. The doctor on this week still does not expect to learn much from the test since it was done so early. We will just have to wait and see. Waiting is a hard thing for me. Taylor got to go to the apartment yesterday and today. She really enjoys that a whole lot. I hate to have to bring her back. I am so ready for all of this to be over for her and for her to return back to her own home with all of her things she enjoyes so much. Today has been another lonely day for me. Keri had to go back to Idaho. We are really going to miss her so much. She was such a help and support for Taylor, Layne, and me while she was here. Next time we see her we plan on being in Idaho with Taylor having a good time visiting her instead. I so look forward to that day. Taylor will not recieve any white blood cells from Layne the first part of this week. This will help give us a better idea if she is beginning to engraft. If her counts go to low she will recieve some more from him on Thursday. Please continue to pray for Taylor and I know without a doubt as we all come together in prayer and faith our Father in Heaven will continue to bless her. I know she will recieve that miracle she needs in her life to make her well. Once again I would like to thank all of you who continue to hang in there with us and help us down this road. I know it has been a long time, but without the support of all of you I don't know what I would do. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, August 03, 2002 at 08:56 PM (CDT)

Hello again. Sorry about the delay in updates Taylor just keeps me busy. Taylor is still doing great. The doctors are still very pleased with her progress. She got to go to the apartment for 2 hours today. She did not want to go back to the hospital. Tomorrow she will get a 3 or 4 hour pass. The doctor today said we may not be able to tell a whole lot from the test on Monday it might be too soon. They are not going to take blood from Layne on Monday they want to see what she will do on her own. They will most likely do it again on Thursday. Layne is starting too look a little pale and tired. The rest will be good for him. He told the doctors however, if their was anyone up here that could benefit from him he would be glad to help. They told him they needed to keep him healthy in case Taylor needed him more. I am so thankful he was able to do this for Taylor. It has made things so much better for her. I know that our Father in Heaven is watching over Taylor each and every day. She has had such an easy time so far. That does make me and Terry a little nervous, however if we are looking to our Father in Heaven for a miracle why should she suffer. I know that she can be healed through his great power. I am so thankful for all who pray for Taylor each and every day. I know without a doubt this is what is helping her the most. I am so thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and what it means in our lives. I asked Taylor the other night if she knew why she was doing so well. She quickly responded and said yes "Heavenly Father" I am so thankful for her. She is a very smart little girl. Please continue to pray for her and also that this test on Monday will show us that the donor cells are grafting like they should. Also, don't forget my Mom. She goes next Friday to see if her cancer has remained the same. Please pray for her and Taylor and through the great power of faith and prayers they will be healed. Thank you again for all of your support and prayers. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 11:09 PM (CDT)

Another quick update. It is now midnight and we are still up. Just wanted to let you know that Taylor got to go outside today. They let us loose for one hour. If the test are good on Monday with all Donor Cells we might be out by the end of next week. Please continue to pray for Taylor and the miracles will continue for her. Our prayers are being answered everyday. I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father and all that he has done for Taylor. Sorry for such a short entry just wanted you to know all is well Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 08:22 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Things continue to go well at Duke. Taylor is still doing good. I added some more new pictures today. Taylor's face is quite swollen. Alot of it is due to fluid and the steroids. She does have an appetite too. The doctors are still pleased with her progress. The big news will be Monday to see if some of these cells are her new cord blood. Please pray that the news will be good for Taylor and she will soon be out of the hospital. We are not due to go home to Virginia until October 26, but it would be nice just to get out of the hospital. Taylor still copes well with being here though. Please continue to pray for her and the miracle she needs in her life. Please keep the faith strong and it will happen. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 03:45 PM (CDT)

All is still well in Durham. Taylor is still doing good. She is eating well. The doctors have stopped the TPN and she is eating completely on her own and do a good job of it. They also turn the morphine off continuous and Taylor only pushes the button as needed. I don't think she has had to push it at all today. Her daddy and Tyler left today and she really hated to see them go. She really likes having all of her family around her. They sent a test out yesterday to see what type of cells she might be growing at this point. There is a possiblity that the cells she has a still all Layne's, but there is also the possiblity that she might be starting to engraft with the new cells. We have to wait until next Monday to find out which it is. Please pray for Taylor that they will have nothing but good news for her. She deserves it. Also, any of you that fast I would ask you to join with our family this coming Sunday as we fast once again for Taylor and her complete recovery from this disease. I know as we all pull together as children of our Father in Heaven we can work this miracle in Taylor's life. I just long for the day to see her run and play and be free from IV poles and lines in her little chest. She has had a long year and more now fighting this and she so deserves to be healed and well. Thank you again for your support and to all of you who have sent cards and such to Taylor she really enjoys it. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena P.S. Don't forget about Layne he has been a good donor and is starting to get a little worn down. Pray that his body will be able to stay strong and he can continue to help his sister.

Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 09:01 PM (CDT)

Hello all from Duke. Today has been a pretty good day for Taylor. She is still doing well. Her apperance has really changed though. She is so swollen from the steroids. She has put on about 6 pounds or so in the two weeks we have been here. Tomorrow they might take her off of TPN because she is eating so well. The doctors do not fell at this time the weight gain is fluid just a lot of eating. Her legs and back have started aching and the doctor said today that was a good sign the cells were beginning to graft in her bone marrow. It still will take a while, but hopefully we are on the right track. Today Taylor had fun making cookies for her nurses. They all really enjoyed them. She played alot in the Family Lounge with some of the other children up here. She has enjoyed her daddy being here as well as Tyler. Her nana also came up to play with her. Keri is still hanging in here with us also. We are really going to miss her when she goes home. I wish she could stay with us through the whole thing. Layne should be back tomorrow also. We will be glad to have him back. I ask all of you to continue to pray for Taylor and have the faith that we need to heal her. I do believe in miracles and I know that they can happen. Taylor is so strong and brave and never complains about the things she is going through. I know without a doubt she is one of our Heavenly Father's most precious little children. I feel honored each day that I was given the opportunity to raise Taylor her on this earth. I just ask my Father in Heaven each and everyday to allow me to raise her to be a righteous young lady and mother her on this earth. Please continue to pray for her and keep the faith and she will be healed. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, July 26, 2002 at 04:13 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Things are still going pretty well for Taylor. She has gained a bit of weight and the doctors are watching it and trying to keep the fluid down. They are not too worried at this point. Just watching it as they say. She also had to finally put the Pain Pump on her pole last night. She has it on through the night and she uses the button during the day. Her pain is not too bad at this time. She has belly pain and her body aches from the GCSF they give her to help her cells too grow, but all in all she has the pain under control most of the time. She continues to eat well. Most nights we have to go to Outback and get her the kids steak. The hospital food just does not cut it. They have cut back some on feeding her through the IV. The doctor is really pleased at this time. He is very pleased with Layne however. He told Layne they needed to keep him here for a while and use him for other kids down the road. He has really been helping Taylor alot with the White Blood Cells. Her wbc yesterday was all the way up to 4.0. This is really a huge blessing for Taylor. This is helping so much with keeping the fungus and other infections away at this time. Taylor has so much too be thankful for having such wonderful brothers who are willing to do anything for her. I know she has been greatly blessed with getting this good results from Layne. I am still thankful each and everyday for my Father in Heaven who loves us so and looks out for us. I am also thankful for each of you who continue to pray for her. Some days I get overwhelmed with the fear of ever loosing her, but then I look at how much she has been blessed and know that all will be well if we continue to pray and keep our faith. Please pray for all the little children up here. There are so many little sick children and they all need our prayers. Also, if you get a chance send Taylor a card in the mail, she really enjoys getting them. Our address is at the bottom of this page. I should not ask, but it makes smile when they bring her mail. Layne got the chance to fly home today on an Angel Flight with one of the mom's up here from Virginia. It is only a 4 seater airplane so I hope he does ok. He was very excited about going home. He wanted to go home because this weekend is my Mom's birthday. I was sorta scared to let him go, but I did. Thank you again for being out there for us and all the prayers you offer for Taylor and my Mom. Please continue to pray and we will get through all of this. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 07:01 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! We are still hanging in there and are now at day 7. We have a way to go, but all is going well. The medicine they gave Taylor for her billiruben (liver function) seems to have helped and the number did come down into the normal range. I was very thankful for that. She is still retaining fluid, but I guess that is to be expected. She has only asked for the morphine once today. She has slowed down some, but is still moving around pretty good. She had a very busy day yesterday. The group Sister Hazel came up to see the kids and Taylor really enjoyed that. The young girls were very excited to seem them. They sang some of their popular songs and took pictures with the kids. I was very impressed to see them come up and take their time to spend with the kids. I have really learned alot about what is important in life going through all of this. It does not matter any more if the house is clean or the grass is cut. All that matters is that Taylor is well and we are together. When Taylor is well I hope to spend alot of my time helping others in this same situation. Taylor wants to do the same. She has told me often she want to visit the sick children when she gets better. Well I hate to end right on that note, but Taylor ordered an Outback Steak and it is here so I must go and get it ready now. Please continue to pray for I know that is were the real healing power is for Taylor as well as all of the other little children here. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, July 22, 2002 at 05:03 PM (CDT)

Hello! We are still hanging in there. Taylor has started having stomach pain due to the mucositis. This is little sores that can form in your mouth and through your whole GI track. This is brought on due to the chemo. She had a very low dose of morphin twice today. Also, they had to start her on fluid pills and something else to help her with her liver. Her billiruben (not sure how to spell it) is a little high. Hopefully with the medication this will get under control. The doctor said this was all typical transplant issues. It is just that Taylor did not have any issues last time. Any little thing that happens scares me, but I know that I will have to get a grip and be strong. Please continue to pray for Taylor and we will make it through this transplant with the results Taylor needs. I am so thankful for each of you and know together we will have that strength to give her the miracle she needs. Love, Taylor Mom Neena

Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 10:55 AM (CDT)

Taylor was giving me a little scare her white blood count had gone up to 3.6 this morning. Even though she is receiving white blood cells from Layne this is higher than the usual for kids getting this type of transfusion. My nurses yesterday and today tried hard to make me feel comfortable about this, but they too were not 100% sure what might be happening. When the doctor came in this morning my nurse Jennifer brought him right to me and he said this was wonderful news. Taylor was responding extremely well to the cells Layne is donating. He said he has only seen about 4 or 5 cases were children respond so well. We do have to give most of the credit to Layne because he said that Layne had some very strong healthy blood. Once again I am thankful for my children who have chose to live a life to keep their bodies healthy and strong and not to abuse them with such things as drugs, smoking, etc. Layne is giving Taylor a wonderful gift helping her to be able to fight away infection during this time. Mostly though I once again thank my Father in Heaven who I know without a doubt is looking out for my little girl. We are so lucky to have a Father in Heaven who loves us and cares so much for us. No matter what we do he loves us unconditionly. That is the way we should all be. I am so thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. I could never imagine going through something like this without this knowledge. I know now more than ever when I pray that my Heavenly Father truly listens and cares about me. I also am so thankful for all of you who continue to follow Taylor and pray for her daily. I will be grateful to you all of my life. You do not have any idea how wondeful I feel when I see someone new that I don't even know sign my guestbook and say that they too are praying for my little girl. Also, I must once again ask you to continue the prayers for my mother. She is hanging in there, but she too still has a battle ahead of her. Together her and Taylor will win with all of the prayers and love from so many people. Please continue to keep the faith and prayers strong and we will have the miracle we need. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 03:12 PM (CDT)

WONDERFUL NEWS! THE CT SCAN IS CLEAR NO SIGN OF ANY FUNGUS. ALSO, TRANSPLANT WENT VERY WELL. SHE HAD HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY ALL WITH HER FOR THE BIG EVENT. I once again thank my Father in Heaven for such a wonderful day yesterday and each and everyone of you who pray for her daily. The miracles continue to work in Taylor's life because of all those who love her and pray for her daily. We could not do this alone. I will be ever grateful to each and everyone of you who pray for her each and every day. There is nothing in this world more important than your family and wonderful friends who care for you. Also, all of you who don't even know Taylor, but pray for her. I am so thankful for you. Taylor is doing well in the hospital. She has been having a good time with her nurses. We love them very much and appreciate them more than they will ever know. It is so comforting to have such wonderful doctors and nurses to help us get through this transplant. Layne also had surgery yesterday to have his central line put in. He was nervous about the whole thing, but he did it. Today he gave his first dose of white blood cells to help Taylor fight off infections during the time she waits on her new cells. We are so thankful that Layne is able to do this for Taylor. I am going to try and update a little better than I have been doing. Taylor just keeps me very busy. Thank you again for all you do and please continue to pray for Taylor and have the faith and through this power all will be well. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, July 15, 2002 at 10:29 PM (CDT)

Taylor has made it through the ATG without any side affects. We owe all of this to those who have prayed so hard for her. I know without a doubt it is through the power of prayer she has been spared from the awful side affects of this drug. I am grateful to my Father in Heaven and everyone of you who have prayer for her. I know that as we continue to pray for her she will continue to be blessed. I am so thankful for the knowledge of a Father in Heaven who loves each and everyone of us and does hear and answers our prayers. I would be so lost if I did not have this knowledge in my life. I am so thankful for my parents that taught me about the gospel of Jesus Christ. I do not know what I would do without it. I do know in my heart that Taylor is going to be ok. She will recieve the miracle she needs in her life as we continue to pull together and prayer for her. Through the prayers and faith of many she will be healed. I do believe this. Tomorrow Taylor will recieve her last dose of ATG, but they do not expect any problems at this point. On Wednesday around 11 she will receive her cord blood. Tomorrow she will have a CT Scan to check on the fungus to be sure that it remains under control. Please pray that it will be smaller if not gone. Wednesday Layne will go in surgery to have his central line put in. Then on Thursday he will began donating White Blood Cells to Taylor to help her fight off any infection along with the Fungus. Our friend Keri has came all the way from Idaho again to spend time with us and to help Taylor through this transplant. We love and appreciate her for being here. Well I will update again real soon and also I will put some new pictures on again. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom and we will win the battle. Also, I have added Taylor's new address on the front page. She loves recieving mail. It is under Hospital Information. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 12:16 PM (CDT)

Just a quick update this morning. Taylor has finally checked in the hospital. I was able to delay her check-in until this morning so she could come home last night and enjoy another evening at home and riding her bike. She had a good time. We took her to the park and she really enjoyed herself. I am very full of emotions today. I couldn't wait to get in the hosptial and now I am scared to death. Taylor is doing so well and I can't stand to see anything put her down. Please pray for her daily and have anyone you know pray for her. We have to help her through this. The medicine she was going to get Monday will actually start tomorrow. So as we all pull together in prayer hopefully Taylor will tolerate this medication without the bad side affects. I will keep you updated, but it may be a couple of days depending on how well Taylor handles the medication. I do honestly feel we can get Taylor through all of this as we earnestly seek help from our Father in Heaven. I know that he does hear our prayers and I do believe that he does listen as we pray. His is our Father in Heaven and he loves us and cares deeply about each and everyone of us. So through the power of prayer and faith we can work miracles. We can and will work that miracle in Taylor's life as we all pull together for her. I will update with an address also so if you would like you can send Taylor cards. I know that she enjoys getting mail for everyone. Our number is 919-681-5215. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 08:04 PM (CDT)

Taylor is still doing great! She has been tolerating the chemo this week well. We have had very long days at the clinic. Yesterday we were there from 8:30am until 4pm. She had to get blood yesterday. Today was our shortest day of the week, we were out by 2pm. At the clinc today they had a Teddy Bear Clinic. Taylor had a good time. They gave her a nice bear and they had medical supplies for them to play with. Yesterday her Nana and Grandpa came and brought some of their friends from Harker's Island for the day. Taylor really enjoyed their visit. She is looking forward to them coming back and playing with her again real soon. Tomorrow we go back to the clinic again, hopefully for not too long. Then on Friday we will check into the hospital in the afternoon after she gets her chemo in the clinic. Her white blood count is very low now. Her immune system is pretty much gone at this point. We have to really watch for the germs now and keep the infections away. Monday she will get an anti rejection drug called ATG. It is some really nasty medicine that makes most kids very sick for the first day. Most kids have fevers of 106 and greater and severe flue like systems. I am asking everyone to pray especially this coming Monday that Taylor will be one of the ones to escape these side effects. With all of our prayers together hopefully we can help her to be spared from this. As we continue to unite together in pray and faith I feel that we can make the difference and Taylor will recieve the miracle her little sweet body needs. I am starting to get very anxious now as transplant is getting so close, but I still feel very strongly in my heart that our faith can make the difference. Please continue to pray with our family and we will get Taylor thru this. I am so thankful for everyone that prayers for her and cares so much for her. Taylor does know herself that many people pray for her daily. Most of all I know that our Heavenly Father continues to hear our prayers and it is going to make the difference. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, July 08, 2002 at 07:50 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Well Taylor began her conditioning chemo today. We were at the clinic from 8:30am until 4:30pm. I hope the rest of the week is not that long. Taylor however, always seems to handle the long days much better than anyone else. She never seems to complain no matter how long the day is. She has handled the chemo good so far. Hopefully it will not make her sick. Yesterday she had a very good day. Her Aunt Jacque and all of her gang came to see Taylor for the day. She played all day. Then when they left at 5pm we headed up to the hospital to get plateletts. Taylor feel asleep during the transfusion and slept for two hours after we got home. You would never know she was sick from all the playing and energy she has. I will continue to keep you updated on what is going on, but for now chemo the rest of the week and admit on Friday. As soon as Taylor is in the hospital I will give you the number and address. Please really keep the prayers going now so we can keep the fungus and infections away as the immune system is cleaned out. The prayers and faith of everyone is what will get Taylor through all of the days without any immune system to help her fight. Together with our faith we will help her win this battle once and for all. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 08:01 PM (CDT)

Hello again everyone! Things are still moving along well. Taylor continues to be very active and happy! This past week her cousin Garrett and Aunt Tiffany came to play with her and she had a very good time. Then for the 4th her daddy and brother Jonathan came in and we went to Goldsboro to visit with her Aunt Opal and their family. She really enjoyed herself there and most of all loved eating Aunt Opal's red potatoes. We are scheduled to begin our conditioning chemo on Monday. That is going to be about 5 hours a day at the clinic Monday through Friday and then we will check in at the hospital Friday afternoon. Then Saturday thru Wednesday we will get the rest of the treatment and transplant should be on Thursday. I think that is the 18th. I really hate to start all of this, but I know that it is what we need. I continue to try very hard to be strong and keep the faith and not doubt, but I am weak at times. Today her Lymphocites were high and I have been very nervous all day. Tomorrow I just hope and pray that they will be back down and all is well. We have come so far now and I just pray with all my heart nothing happens to stop us now. Please pray this night for Taylor that all will be well and she will be able to begin her treatment on Monday. I will once agian try harder at keeping you more informed, but it is so busy each day trying to keep up with Taylor. My Mom also came down with Jonathan and Terry. She will get to stay until Friday. She is looking good and doing pretty good. She even has a little hair. Taylor keeps rubbing it. It want be long and they both will have some hair at the same time. Please continue to help me keep the faith and through all of our faith and prayers Taylor and my Mom will win this battle. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 10:41 PM (CDT)

Just a quick update tonite to let you know that Taylor will begin her conditioning chemo on Monday and be admitted on Friday (July 12th). The actual transplant is scheduled for around July 18th. Taylor is still doing well. We got some tickets to go and watch the Durham Bulls play baseball tonite. It was really nice. We got to sit in the nice ac room right behind home plate. After the game they had fireworks. Taylor had a very good time. I will update again in a day or so and let you know more. Please continue to pray for her and my Mom and keep the faith and we will get them both through this. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, July 01, 2002 at 09:02 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! We got the results today on the CT Scan. I know that it has shrunk to half in size and that only leaves it to be about 1/2 cm. I am not sure if this means there is still active fungs or not. Or if they say it is controlled. I will know more tomorrow. It was late when we got this news and did not really get to find out much. Taylor continues to be very active and happy. We will find out this week if we will go to transplant on Monday or wait another week now. It is only time and I have all of that in the world to give in order for Taylor to get well. We just have to pray that the Leukemia will also give us the time we need and not come back. So for now all seems to be going in the right direction for Taylor. She continues to be a trooper and goes to the clinic daily and never complains about the time spend there. She is such a sweet little girl. The time we spend together at the clinic is very special too me. We enjoy each other so much. I just want to say we should always give our kids as much of our time as possible. It will be something you can always cherish. There is nothing in this world more important than spending time with your family. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom and we will get through these times and enjoy being healthy in the very near future. I also have added some new pictures. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 10:03 AM (CDT)

Hello everyone! New pictures again! All is still well here in Durham. Taylor continues to do well. She is so full of energy. She went to bed at 12:30 last night and was up at 8am. She has not stopped one minute since she got up. I have not seen her with so much energy for the whole past year. One would never know she was sick if not for that cute little bald head. We did not have to go to the clinic this weekend and I was glad for that. We will check her blood tomorrow though to see how the GCSF is working on her white blood count. They use this to help her white count to increase to help her continue to fight the fungus as well as anything else. Monday is an important day for her. She will have her CT Scan and see if the fungus is gone. I ask all of you to continue to pray that the news is good and that this new drug has improved her health even more to get her ready for transplant. I wonder why we even have to go through with the transplant, but I know that we have been 100% donor cells before and just can't take the chance. The good news is that it will give us the time we need for transplant. Some might say that Jonathan's cells failed her, but they have done so much for her. She would have never got this far without them. I just want him to know that he was her lifesaver as she always says. My mom went to her doctor yesterday and her bloodwork was ok. She still is not back to her normal self, but with time and prayers she too will get her strenght back. I know it. I know that the prayers they both have received have made the difference in their lives. The power of prayer is the greatest power we have. I am so thankful that I have the knowledge of my Father in Heaven and can turn to him for the strength we need. I know that all is possible with him. I continue to read my scriptures daily and learn more and more each day. I know that faith can work mighty miracles. I ask all of you to have this faith with me that we can work the miracles in their lives that is so needed. We can do this together. Most of all as we do this we will come closer to our Father in Heaven and all of our lives will be blessed for it as well as Taylor's and my Mom's. I love and appreciate everyone of you who continue to help me fight this battle, I could not do it without your support. Please continue to pray and our prayers will be answered. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 08:19 PM (CDT)

The boy cells are back and continue to grow. The results from the bone marrow test were in today and Taylor is once again 100% male cells. Taylor wanted to know today why she had to have another transplant if they were back. I wish I knew. The good news is that they will hopefully help us fight the leukemia again and we will be able to get to the upcoming transplant without any chance of the leukemia returning. Because of the past relapse the doctors do not feel that Jonathan's cells will be able to keep the leukemia away for good. However they were suprised at how they returned after all of the chemo. They say they are definetly strong cells. We spent another long day in the clinic. It seems no matter what time we go we are they for about 4 hours. Tomorrow is her last day of chemo for this week. They started giving her GCSF to help her cells grow to help her continue to fight off the fungal infection. Monday if her white count is not to low we will start the chemo back. Also, this coming Monday she will have her CT scan to see the results of this new medicine on her fungal infection. If things are going good we will most likely check in on the following Monday to begin 9 days of more intense chemo to begin the transplant. Taylor is doing so great right now. It is so hard to believe she is even sick. She plays non stop all day long. Thank goodness her Nana is here to help play with her. Taylor keeps her very busy. Also, her cousin Needham came down to be with us and Taylor this week also. Taylor really enjoys having the extra company. She is being so blessed everyday by the prayers that are given in her behalf. I know our Father in Heaven is hearing all of the prayers and taking care of her. Please continue to pray for her and we will get through this. I promise I will put new pictures on here sometime this weekend. I have just been so busy going to the clinic and entertaining her daily. I miss all of my family and my mom at home. It is going to be hard being here for so long, but I will do what ever it takes to get my little girl well. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, June 25, 2002 at 08:17 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone!! We are still hanging in here at Duke. Taylor is still feeling well and looking better than ever. She just thinks she is on one big vacation. I so hate for her to have to go through the whole transplant again. I wish everything would just be ok for her and she would not have to go through all of this. We will find out on Thursday if her bone marrow is Jonathan's. The doctors say it will really be great news for us if it is. It should buy us the time we need to get to transplant. It is possible that it could actually work now, but I guess we just can't take a chance. Taylor will have a CT Scan on Monday and we are very hopeful there will no longer be any evidence of any fungus. We still will continue to treat it for at least another week before we can began with transplant. I ask all of you to continue to pray for her that she will continue to have the strength to fight this battle and win. I know we can do it. With the help of all of your prayers and our Father in Heaven we will beat this. Our days right now are several hours in the clinic each day getting chemo and whatever else Taylor may need. We are going to the clinic 7 days a week. I will be glad when that is over, but at least we don't have to be in the hospital all day right now. Taylor has been out to ride the go-carts at night and now that is all she wants to do. I told her she has to find a cheaper form of entertainment. We have been trying to do as much as possible before she is once again isolated from everything. She has been having a great time. I know that Taylor has been so blessed. She is amazing at the way she keeps coming back. I miss all of my family at home as well as our nurses and doctors there. Please continue to pray for my little girl and have the faith and all will be well. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 05:08 PM (CDT)

Hello, how is everyone doing? I am sure you are wondering where we have been. It has been a busy week here in Durham. Taylor is doing well. We have had a few setbacks though. We should have began transplant this coming Monday, but the doctors found that after her lungs had cleared from surgery that there was still a place that was questionable. It is possible it is something from the surgery, but the doctors here feel it might be some of the fungus. Therefore, we have to wait a couple of weeks for some more treatment on the fungus. They are using the new drug which is still not released by the FDA so we have to stay here to receive it. That is a bum deal. We really wanted to come home for a couple of weeks. The Bone Marrow Test they did on Thursday was still free of Leukemia. We will know sometimes this week if it remains to be all of Jonathan’s cells. The longer she has them in her the stronger they become. We need this so badly right now to help continue fighting the Leukemia away. It is possible that his bone marrow would work now, but unfortunately we can’t take the chance, but if they can stay strong and fight for her while we wait for transplant that will help her win the battle. At first I was very upset when I found out she was being put off on transplant, but now I can honestly say that I feel pretty good about the delay and feel this gives her some more time to work on the fungus and hopefully get it out of her body before transplant. This new drug she is using is suppose to be very good. Taylor is still having a good time. She is very playful and very happy. I love her so much. She means everything to all of our family. She will get well and we will win this awful battle. Taylor is a very special little girl. She continues to be tough through everything she goes through. Next week we will be busy going to the clinic and getting medications and chemo to help Taylor continue getting ready for transplant. Please continue to pray for her and her doctors as she goes through this and all will be well. I feel this. I continue to search my scriptures daily and become more and more aware of how powerful faith alone can be. I am trying hard each and everyday to achieve that type of faith that can heal. Taylor’s battle has taught me so much. If we all continue to pull together in prayer and faith she will be healed. Now about my Mom. She came down on Friday for her second opinion. The doctor here felt she was getting the best treatment there was from her doctor at home. There are other chemo’s to use for her and her doctor will begin using them when and if the cancer starts to grow. Hopefully, one of these chemo’s will finish the cancer off where the others did not. She continues to try and stay strong for me and Taylor and herself. We miss her so much being here. Please continue to pray that her cancer will stay under control and not begin to come back. Today I have been pretty homesick. We usually go to my Mom’s house along with my brother’s and sister’s family every Sunday evening. We all get together enjoy everyone’s company and eat all of my Mom’s food and most of all give her a headache from all of the noise. It will be such a long time before we get to go again, but I can’t hardly wait until the day we are once again sitting at her house on Sunday evening all together again and most of all Taylor and my Mom there healthy and strong. There is not anything in my life more important to me than my family. Without family there would not be anything. That is what life if all about to me. I love mine dearly. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Monday, June 17, 2002 at 08:56 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone!! Tonite I am full of all kinds of emotions. As we prepare to leave for Duke in the morning my heart is so full. I want to go and get Taylor well and at the same time I am scared to death to leave home. She feels so good right now. I just would give all I have to be able not to have to go through the upcoming months and Taylor be well. She is so happy and so full of life again. I can not stand to see that change. I miss it so badly when she is down. Her visit at the clinic went well today and her blood continues to be free of Leukemia. I know that the prayers for Taylor are being answered everyday. I hate leaving Jonathan and Tyler behind again also. I will miss not being here with them for the summer. This is just not what a summer should be like. I look so forward to next summer when all can be well. I also hate leaving tomorrow without Terry. I need him to be with us so bad. I need his support. Layne, Taylor, Nana, and me will head off by ourselves in the morning. I ask all of you with a most humble heart to pray for all of my family, but most of all for my little girl. Please pray that she will come through this transplant with great success. Also, that she will be able to tolerate this transplant without to much suffering. She is such a sweet little girl and it breaks my heart to think of the things she may have to endure the next few months. Please pray continually for her. ALso, I am very heartbroken to leave my poor mother. I love her so much and she means everything too me. I will miss her not being with me everyday. She has come over to our house everyday to help me and be with Taylor no matter how she felt. She is the most wonderful mother anyone could ever ask for. I love her dearly. She will go to Duke on Friday to see if the doctor's there have any answers for her. Please pray that they will and her and Taylor will soon both enjoy health and strength in their bodies. I have learned over the past year that there is nothing more important than your family. Without your family there is nothing. I want all of you to know that I know that their is kind, loving, Father in Heaven. I know that without a doubt. I know that he does hear all of our prayers. We just need to pray continually and have the faith and all things are possible. I am so thankful for this knowledge in my life and for my wonderful parents who taught me the correct way. I will be very busy over the next few days so I will update as soon as possible. Taylor has alot of testing for Wednesday and Thursday. She will check into the hospital after that. Not sure what day except not before Friday and not after Tuesday. Thank you so much for your continue support and prayers. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 05:52 PM (CDT)

Hello!! It is now Thursday afternoon and we just got out of the hospital after being there since 3am Wednesday morning. Taylor had a fever and we went into the ER 3am Wednesday and they wanted to keep her and check for any infection and put her on medications until they ruled out everything. She is doing fine and has been all except just having a fever. The test were all negative and we got to come home today. Taylor is very playful and happy right now. She is enjoying herself so much. Most important she continues to be blessed and the leukemia remains to stay away. I am sure without a doubt this is due to all of the many prayers given in her behalf daily. I can never thank everyone enough for that. We are about a week away now from transplant. I can't believe we have to be there on Tuesday. I hate that Taylor has to leave her home again for so long, but whatever it takes to get her well. I hate leaving my boys again for so long also. It is summer time and we should all be home together getting ready to go on a vacation or something. It just does not seem fair, but we all agree whatever it takes to get Taylor well. We all love her very much and just want her well. I hate thinking about how sick she will most likely but in just a couple of weeks. Please continue to pray for her and that she will win this awful battle she has been ask to fight. Also, pray that the doctors will have something else to offer my Mom to beat her cancer as well. Love, Taylor's Mom

Monday, June 10, 2002 at 09:16 PM (CDT)

Check out the new Pictures!! Taylor is still doing great. We are getting ready to head off to Duke in the next week or so. Next week we go for some testing and then on the 24th in for Transplant. Tomorrow we go to the clinic for her bloodwork. Please pray that all will be well and her blood will continue too stay free of leukemia. I feel through the power of so many prayers Taylor will be blessed and healed. I will let you know how things go tomorrow. Please continue to pray for her and my Mom and we will get through this. It has been so great seeing Taylor return to her old self. She did start a new chemo tonite that the doctors are using as a safety precaution to help keep the leukemia away. Please continue to pray that all will be well. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, June 07, 2002 at 07:56 PM (CDT)

Hello! Things continue to being going well for Taylor. I will have to say she is back to her old self again. Her little legs still do not move quite as quick yet from the chemo, but they are coming around. She actually tried to run from her daddy the other night when it was time for her medicine. She had a good visit at Duke yesterday. The plan is still for her to return on the 17th of June to begin preparation for transplant the week of the 24th. For now we just have to rely on our Heavenly Father to help her stay in remission until she can get to transplant. I was again beg all of you to pray continually for Taylor that the Leukemia will stay away and we can get to transplant. We only have two more weeks and I do fell the power of prayer can help this happen. I am trying so hard each day to have our family pull closer together and do all we to be as close to our Father in Heaven as possible so the blessing will come that Taylor so needs to keep her well. I do feel as we try to live as close to our Father in Heaven as we possibly can the more in tune we are with him and the better he will hear our prayers. I have learned so much over the past year. I just wish I would not have had to learn it through such a tagic way. Also, my Mom continues to struggle through each day trying to be happy when inside I know that she is so full of sadness. I wish I was able to do more for her, but I know that she would not want me to spend one less minute taking care of Taylor. I love my Mom and pray the doctors at Duke will have some answers for her. I guess I sound like a preacher now, but the truth is I just know that our Heavenly Father is there for us and will help us get through this hard times. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom and they will be blessed with health and strength. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 08:54 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Taylor has had a great day today. She got a little boat and enjoyed floating around in her pool. She did not get to enjoy her pool last summer and will not be able to use it this year either. So Grandma bought her a little boat so she could have a little fun before we are off to Duke. We all had the most fun watching her having such a good time. I would give anything for this too all go away and her be able to enjoy everyday the same as today. I have been having a difficult time here lately. Taylor's blood counts have been up and down and I can not seem to get a grip and quit worrying so much about the Leukemia returning. At this time I ask each and everyone of you to pray for her often that she will be able to get to transplant without any problem. I am scared too death. I try to be strong, but lately I feel I am not doing so well. My Mom's visit last week did not go as well as we hoped either. She did not get into a complete remmission like they hoped. She has an appointment at Duke on June 21 too see if there is anything they can do that this doctor has not already done. Please pray for her that an answer will be at Duke for her as well. I want you to know that I do know that the power of prayer can make a difference. I ask all of you to help our little Taylor and my sweet Mom and pray for them continually. Our Heavenly Father needs to know how much we desire for them to be made whole and well. I also ask you to pray for me that I can get a grip and be strong for Taylor and some of my fears will go away. I want to thank all of you who pray for our family. With the prayers and faith of many I believe we can get through this. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, May 31, 2002 at 08:42 PM (CDT)

Sorry it has taken me so long for an update. We have been very busy over the past week. Last Sunday we ended up in the hospital for the night until 4pm Memorial Day. Taylor's potassium level was at a criticial low of 2.4 so we needed to stay in the hospital for a day until they got it right. Then on Tuesday we went to the clinic as well as Wednesday. She had another CT Scan to check for the fungus. The news was good. Their was no evidence of any new or old fungus. Our prayers were once again answered. On Wednesday a friend of ours took Taylor on a boat ride. She really had a good time. She got to ride and look at the hospital from a boat instead of looking at the boats from her hospital window. That was really nice. Then on Thursday we headed to Duke. Things went pretty well there also. We got to see our favorite nurses and doctor. Just knowing they will be their to help us through is very comforting. Taylor also got to see her Best Buddy Emily again. She really enjoyed seeing everyone. Dr. Mustafa talked with us about the upcoming transplant. We should be at Duke on the 17th of June for good. Then the last week of June the actual transplant should take place. It is going to be a very scary road for our family, but with the prayers and support of so many wonderful peolpe we can and will get through this. After we finished at Duke we headed to Terry's parents house. Taylor has not been there for over a year. It was her first cousins 2nd birthday. Taylor really had a good time. We came home today. Then tonite she went to watch Jonathan play a softball game. She had such a good time. It has been so great being able to take her out and let her enjoy doing things she has missed for so long. I have been having a very hard time dealing with everything myself. When she is down it breaks my heart to see her sick and when she is up and playing I can't hardly bear thinking of her not being her with me forever. I beg of you to please pray for her each and everyday that she will be able to get through this next months with success.

Sunday, May 26, 2002 at 02:00 PM (CDT)

Hello from home!! It has been great being home for two straight days now. Taylor is still trying to get over her lung surgery. She is still pretty stiff from the chest tube. Also, her little legs are having a hard time moving from the chemo she had. Hopefully, she will overcome all of this in the next week or so and get to run and play before we go back to Duke. We will go to Duke this Thursday to have a checkup there and let the doctors decide when they feel she will be ready for another transplant. Most likely that will be in about 3 weeks. I wish we could stop with her being 100% donor cells again, but I guess it is too much of a risk to relapse again. The good news is that they are there to help fight the Leukemia in the mean time. Taylor has been blessed so much from all of the prayers that have been offered in her behalf. I know without a doubt that our Father in Heaven does hear and answer our prayers. He has the power to do all and miracles do still happen today just as they did in the times of the Bible. Please continue to pray for her daily and she will be healed and once again be able to enjoy herself as a normal little 5 year old girl. She deserves it so much. The other night she was having a hard time taking her medicine and she started to cry and wanted her daddy to give her a blessing so she could do it. I know that with her faith only she can be healed. Taylor is such a special daughter of our Father in Heaven and why she has had to suffer through so much sickness at such a young age I will never completely understand, but I do know that she has touched the hearts of many and made us all pray a lot harder and become better people. I love her dearly. Now about my Mom. This Wednesday she will find out if her cancer is in remissison. I ask all of you to give her the courage through the week waiting for the news. Also, please pray for her that she will be in remission and be able to enjoy herself free of this cancer. She has been such a wonderful Mother and Grandmother. She has always been a great example to me. She has put others before herself even in her great trial of being sick herself. I want so badly for her and Taylor to both be healed and once again get to enjoy life free from worry and pain. Please pray for them both and we will get past this trial and I am sure they will be healed and all of those who have been so thoughtful to them will become better people for it. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, May 25, 2002 at 03:37 PM (CDT)

Just a quick note. We are home and on the way to the Olive Garden. Will fill you in today or tomorrow. One note of good news all of Taylor's cell are 100% Jonathan again. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, May 22, 2002 at 10:29 PM (CDT)

New Pictures!! Well today has been another day full of surprises. We went in for day surgery and ended up back in the hospital. They went in to remove the stent they had put in Taylor a while back and to do a bone marrow test. When finishing up the surgery they found she had blood in her stomach. So unfortunately we did not get to go home. I felt so bad. Taylor was going to the Olive Garden to eat as soon as we got out of here. When she woke up in the hospital room she was very upset. I felt so sorry for her. She had planned her menu all day yesterday and this morning. Everytime I feel safe to tell her we can do something it seems something goes wrong. They think the steroids most likely have irritated her stomach. Could be an ulcer or maybe something less. They will be taking a look in her stomach tomorrow. Please pray that all will be well and we can get the proper medicine and be out quickly. The good news is her bone marrow showed remission for the Leukemia. I think my Heavenly Father for such wonderful news. I have been praying so hard for this. The news is such a relief too me and my family. I know we still have to deal with the stomach issues at the moment, but I pray they will be minor and Taylor will feel better after the problem is corrected. My Mom is still doing about the same. All of the problems with Taylor have really weighed heavy on her. Please pray that she will continue to have the strength to fight her own cancer as well as have the strength to be there for Taylor as she wants so badly. I am so thankful for all of you and the prayers you offer and ask you continue to pray daily for Taylor and my Mom. I know you will be blessed for it. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday May 18, 12:40am

NEW UPDATE AT LAST!! Sorry I have not let you know what is going on, but unfortunately so much has been going on I have not been able to take the time to update. Taylor left the hospital last Saturday night and on Monday we were back in. Her body has had a very hard time trying to recover from the last round of chemo.. She has had basically no white blood count to fight off any infection for about 3 weeks. We went in on Monday with another fever. I prayed that it would not be anything. First it showed infection in one of her central lines. That was ok and not to hard to deal with. But, on Tuesday they did CT scans to look for any other reason for fevers and to may worst fears they found aspergillis fungus in her left lower lung. They also felt it was most likely other places also just no proof at the time. Wednesday they took her in to surgery to remove the lower part of her left lung to remove the fungus. They surgery was succesful and the fungus was removed. The problem stilled remained if any more fungus was around. She needed her counts to come up quickly to get her out of risk. They started giving her shots on Monday night to help stimulate the growth of her cells. Monday through Thursday we saw nothing and then today she went from .4 white blood count to 2.4. The doctors were all thrilled. This will help greatly in fighting off the fungus. It should get us out of danger if her counts continue to come in. It has been a very tough week on everyone. Taylor also had to have a chest tube in after surgery. They removed it the day after surgery. She has been once again the bravest little girl any one could ever imagine. She was so scared all day Thursday wondering how and when they would take it out. I felt so helpless trying to help her cope with the fear of it being removed. I will be so glad to see her start talking and smiling and moving around again like her old self. I will tell you some days she only smiles maybe one time and that one smile means more to me that anything in the world. I have learned such the hard way that we take so much for granit. I would have never thought one little smile could bring so much joy to my heart. I would give everything I own just to see her smile. Please pray that the day will return soon that she will be able to run and play and smile like she used to. I miss that part of her so much. It breaks my heart to see her this way. I have not left the hospital this week because I could not leave her side. I feel so bad for my other children at home. I know they relize how much I love them and I hope they can be comforted while I am gone so much. With all of the complications from this round of chemo they have decided it best not to do another round. They feel the risk would be too great. We should be going to Duke real soon. The transplant was going to happen in a couple of weeks, but due to the fungus they need to treat it with medicaton for a couple of extra weeks before heading into tranplant. The scary thing is now that we have had the fungus it has greater risk to happen again during transplant. They have told us that they plan on putting a central line in one of the family members so they can take out our mature white blood cells and put them in her throughout the period she has no counts of her own to help fight things off. I had planned for Layne to do this and tonite Jonathan was upset because he wanted to do this also. I am so proud of my boys that they are so willing and eager to do anything they can to help Taylor. Whoever does it will have to stay at Duke for about 50 days while Talor is in the hosptial. I think it is such a sacrifice for them to not hesitate about giving up their summer to be there for their sister. Well it is late and I need to got to sleep. Taylor had start breathing hard tonite while she was sleeping and I have been scared to go to sleep for fear of fluid getting in her lungs since the surgery. They doctor on call tonite came up and looked at her and said her lungs sounded good, but I still worry. Also, I want ot update you on my mom. She is one week out from her last chemo treatment. She has had such a hard time. She has had to deal with so much, from being run down with chemo and then the great worry for Taylor and of course the worry she has for me. She is such a special person. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking of her and all she has had to cope with over the past several months. She has taught me so much about being a mother and never putting herself first no matter how bad she may feel. She is always their for me no matter what. I beg of this night to continue to pray for my little girl and my sweet mother. Please pray that our Father in Heaven will heal them and let them have the opportunity to enjoy one another as healthy well human beings again. I beg my Father in Heaven each and every day for this. I know that he has all power and without a doubt he can do all. I just pray with all my heart that he will give me the opportunity to raise my daughter to become a beautiful young women and enjoy seeing her with a family of her own and that my mother will also be healed and have the opportunity to enjoy her grandchildren and family for some time yet here on this earth. Thank you for all you do and for all the support you give our family, but mostly for the prayers you offer in their behalf. Sorry about the bad spelling tonite I am just a little tired. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, May 10, 2002 at 08:47 PM (CDT)

Sorry it has taken so long to update. It has been hard with Taylor feeling so down, but today around 4:30 she started coming around a little bit. She has been talking to me and enjoying herself somewhat all afternoon. It has been so nice. I have enjoyed every minute of it. I really miss my little busy Taylor. She is not full of energy yet, but at least she is talking and even smiling a little this afternoon. It has been wonderful. Also, tomorrow we will get to go home in the evening if she does not have any temperatures. Please keep the prayers going so we can get out of here. I really want to be home for Mother's Day. I hope to spend the day with my wonderful mother. She had her last round of chemo today. We really need to keep the prayers going for her so this will get her into remission. I will try to get some new pictures on when I get home this weekend. Next week will be very busy for Taylor. She has to go to the clinic everyday to get some medication that takes over two hours. Once her counts begin to recover she will be able to stop. Hopefully, they will begin coming up very soon. Thanks again for all of your support and please continue to pray for my little girl and my sweet mother. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 11:47 AM (CDT)

Hello again! Taylor is back in the hospital. She had a fever on Tuesday morning and that is all it takes when the counts are down. I was relieved to go back to the hospital. She has been in so much pain from one of the chemo's she gets. It causes them to have a lot of pain throughout the body, but mostly in her legs. She is now on morphine for pain management. She has mostly slept, but I know that she is not hurting and that is a relief too me. We most likely will not be here long because none of the blood cultures have shown any sign of infection so far. They are planning on putting her on some new drug to help with the pain. She just had the last of the chemo yesterday so it want be long and this will pass. She has been so brave and strong. For such a little girl she has taught me so much. I love her dearly. I feel bad for my other children. They have been so left alone now for nearly a year, but there is nothing in the world they would not sacrifice for their little sister too be well. She is so special to all of us. Her daddy also has had a hard time. He has been left to handle so much at home with hardly any help from me. Somehow we will get through all of this and our family will be better and closer than ever before. Families are so important. My Mom goes for her last chemo Friday. She is in need of your prayers also. This chemo must do the job and get her in a complete remission. Please continue to pray for Taylor and her Grandma that they will get pass all of this and be able to live a normal healthy life again as they both enjoyed just such a short time ago. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, May 06, 2002 at 06:34 PM (CDT)

Hello Everyone! Sorry I am so slow with the updates, but Taylor just has not been feeling very well and I have not had the time. Her legs have been hurting her so bad. I feel so helpless. All I can do is pray that the pain will stop and she will be comfortable. Tomorrow is the last day of this chemo and after about another week things should start to get better. She pretty much just lays in the bed and does not want to do anything. I ask all of you to continue to pray for her that we can get through all of this and she will be cured. She has been through so much. It was nice to get home on Saturday. She is always happier when we are at home. She has been and continues to be such a brave little girl. My mom also continues to fight her cancer. Friday will be her last round of chemo and we can only pray that it will get down to where it needs to be to have her in remission. Friday night I had the chance to go to the Relay for Life Walk at City Park. It was my first experience with the Relay for Life. It was a very humbling experience for me. They have bags with candles they lite in honor of people who have cancer. Taylor and my Mom had their pictures on their bags. They had about 150 between the two of them. Their pictures were everywhere. At the beginning they have a survivor walk. Taylor was suppose to walk with my Mom, but they would not let her out of the hospital. As I stood and watched my mother stand in the crowd of survivor’s it nearly broke my heart. I could not hardly bear looking at her standing in the group of people all alone. I felt so helpless wanting to help her. Also, just thinking of Taylor and seeing her face on so many of the bags got to be a bit more than I could bear. I am so fearful just wandering if her and I my Mom will both be here next year to walk the Relay together. I pray to my Father in Heaven to give me that opportunity. There is not anything in the world that I would not give for that opportunity. They are both so very special and mean more to me than anything in this world. I beg of you to continue to pray for them that a miracle will happen in their lives and they will be cured. Also, pray for their doctors that they will make all the right choices for their treatment a long the way. Thanks again for all of your support. Also, New Pictures! Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Saturday, May 04, 2002 at 01:24 PM (CDT)

Hello! Well we get to go home today. They have narrowed down what type of bacteria it was and know exactly how to treat it so we can leave. Taylor has been doing ok. She has had a lot of leg pain due to one of the chemo's. She has had a very bad week. I think she has been down this week more than any other time. It has really hurt me to see her suffer so with this illness. I hope we can get her home and in her own enviorment and she will fell better. I will update again tomorrow and put some new pictures on also and I would like to update you with the Relay for Life Walk that went on last night too. Please conitue to pray for Taylor and my Mom. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, May 02, 2002 at 09:49 AM (CDT)

Still hanging out in the hospital. Not looking to good for getting out on Friday for the Relay for Life Walk. Taylor has an infection in both of her central lines as well as her bloodstream. The doctors say that is why she is so lifeless. Once they get infection in their blood it really wipes them out. She just lies around not eating or talking or anything. Just not Taylor. Last night she actually smiled and talked a little. I enjoyed that so much. She is still running a fever today also. Please pray that we will beat this thing quickly and get her home. They may pull her central line today or tomorrow and put a temporary in until the infection is all cleared up. I will update you with more when I know. Please contiue to pray for her and grandma as well. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 10:37 AM (CDT)

Just a quick update to let you know that Taylor was admitted to the hospital last night around 11:30 with a fever. I will let you know later today or tomorrow on what is going on. Hopefully, it is just due to such low counts. If so we should only be there a couple of days. I hope to be out on Friday because it is the Relay for Life Walk and Taylor will have nearly a hundred candles lite in her honor. My Mom will have quite a few herself. I wanted to be there so Taylor and my Mom could walk in the opening ceremony together. Please pray that it will be nothing and we can come home quickly. Also, please pray that Taylor will be able to regain some energy and be able to do some of the things she loves to do. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, April 26, 2002 at 10:05 PM (CDT)

Hello! More good new today! Taylor's tumor in her uterus is gone. The chemo has completely shrunk the tumor. I think they will still do radiation at some point for a safety factor, but it is good to know that it is gone and her kidney and uterus look completely normal at this time. Please keep the prayers coming her way. I know that our Father in Heaven continues to bless her and will do so through all of this. I do have the faith in that. My faith grows stronger each and every day with the little miracles that continue to happen in her life. Taylor is doing pretty well all in all. She has changed alot though in the past couple of weeks. She just sits around mostly not talking or doing anything. I enjoy so much the times during the day when she smiles and talks and acts like her old safe. I truly miss her busy self and running me around all day. Hopefully, after she is off the steriods her personality will change back to the way it use to be. Her hair has begun to fall out also. I think it is going to hurt me alot more this time. She was so proud of her new head of hair, but this is only a small thing and we will have hair again. I just keep telling her this time it will come back with more curls than the last time. She is such a special little girl. We all love her dearly. I struggle each and every day to find the strength to continue on. I know I have to be strong for Taylor. I ask you pray that I will be able to keep that strength and be there for her. I have to be strong to help her get through the next several months of such intense treatment. My Mom went to the doctor also today. Her blood work was good and all was well. We still want know for two weeks though how the last chemo treatment affected the cancer. Please pray that the numbers will be good and she will get in a good remission so she can enjoy herself once again. She is such a special mother and grandmother. She is loved dearly by all of her family. Thanks again for all the prayers and please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom daily. You will be blessed for it. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, April 24, 2002 at 08:51 PM (CDT)

A quick update just to let you know that Taylor's Bone Marrow Test on Monday showed no Leukemia. I thank my Father in Heaven for such wonderful news. I will fill you in on more later it is late and I just wanted to pass on the good news. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, April 21, 2002 at 02:12 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone! Taylor had a great time at Busch Gardens. I think she had more energy than anyone who went. I was so thankful she had such a good time. She woke up that morning feeling badly, but by the time we got there she was ready to go. I was so happy to see her having so much fun. She did not stop all day until they told her the rides were closed. I just pray that we will be able to have many more times just like that when she is well. Then on Saturday night they had a dinner for her at a church. They raised alot of money for her. I am so thankful for our dear friend Beth who has looked out for our family and helped us with our financial needs so much. It takes a great burden off our shoulders not having to worry about that also. Thanks to everyone who came and made the night such a success. Taylor had a great time. I was not going to let her go due to so many people, but she took her dress out at 10am and was not going to miss the night for anything. She had a great time. Tomorrow we go to the clinic. It is a big day. She will have a bone marrow test to see if she is in complete remission. Also, she will have a CT Scan to see if the chemo has shrunk the tumor in her uterus. Then after all of that she will get another round of chemo. Please pray that tomorrow will be a day full of great news for her. My mom had another round of chemo also on Friday. We just have to pray that this will get the tumor's down to where the doctor wants them to be. Please remember her and Taylor in your prayers and we can help them beat this together. Thank you once again for all the support and prayers you offer in behalf of our loved ones. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, April 18, 2002 at 09:55 PM (CDT)

Hello Again. Taylor had a good visit at the clinic today. The leukemia cells were no longer present in her blood. That is a very positive sign at this point. Monday she will have another Bone Marrow Test to see if she is in complete remission yet. They will also do another CT Scan to check the tumor in her uterus to see if it has gotten smaller since they began chemo. Taylor’s personality has changed quite a bit since she has began the new chemo along with the steroids. I really hate watching her just sit around doing nothing. As much as I should be enjoying the break from her busy self I would much rather see her running around like usual. Today I found out the next phase of chemo she will receive in mid May will put us in the hospital from 20 to 35 days depending on how quick her blood counts recover. I was really overwhelmed with that. I was hoping Taylor would be able to at least be home most of the time until we go to Duke again. I guess we will deal with it the best we can and what ever it takes to get her well we can do. Tomorrow we are taking her to Bush Gardens so she can have some fun before her counts start dropping from the chemo she is on now. I hope she has a great time. I am looking forward to seeing her go and do the normal things a little girl her age should be doing. Taylor is a very special daughter of our Father in Heaven and I love her dearly and look forward to the day she is well and can be free of this awful disease that has tried so hard to take over her little body. Please continue to pray for her to help her have the strength to fight as she will have to do in the next several months to overcome this. Also, pray for her doctors that they will be guided by our Father in Heaven to make the right choices for her along the way. Now about my Mom. She went to the doctor on Wednesday. Her doctor told her that her tumor marker was not were he had hoped it would be at this point. It was 117 and needs to be at 35 to be in remission. He was hoping for her to be in remission at this point so her last to rounds of chemo could help her stay in remission longer. It was not the news we wanted to hear, but she can still overcome this also and have time here left to enjoy her family and to enjoy watching her grandsons go and come from their missions they will serve for the church. Also, to be able to enjoy seeing Taylor whole and well. I am thankful for my Mom also and love her dearly. Please continue to pray for also. She deserves to be well. I have finally updated the pictures. Taylor’s Aunt Tiffany and her little cousin Garrett came down to play with her while she was in the hospital and Taylor really enjoyed them. Come see her again real soon. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Tuesday, April 16, 2002 at 09:59 PM (CDT)

Just a quick note to let you know that we came home late this afternoon. Taylor is very happy to be home. She has responded very well to the chemo and her blood is down to 1% leukemia cells. Wondeful News. I can only thank my Father in Heaven for such good news and all of you who pray for her daily. I will update tomorrow. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, April 14, 2002 at 10:09 PM (CDT)

Well it is now Sunday evening and Taylor has begun her chemo treatments. First, we have to win the battle of getting her in remission and then we will have to go for another transplant. The doctors feel it is going to be alot harder for Taylor to tolerate these treatments this time. I know how strong she is and she can do it. I just sit and look at how beautiful she is with her little bit of curly hair and the sweet smile she has on her face and I thank my Father in Heaven that she is my daughter. I just beg of him with all my heart to give me the strenght to bring her through the next several months and help her to be cured of this awful disease. I know that the medicine she receives is important, but I know without a doubt in my mind that through faith and the power of prayer we can work many miracles. I also know that when many people join together in prayer that things can and do happen. I ask you to pray for my little girl continually that she will be able to conquer this and be made whole and well. I am so thankful for the many people who care for her and love her. We should be back at Duke in a couple of months. I want our group of nurses there to know we love all of you and we will be back with you again to beat this things for good. You are a very special group of young women and hold a special place in our family's heart. I will do my best to let everyone know what is going on over the next several days. We do still go to radiation tomorrow for the tumor in her uterus. Hopefully we will be out of here by Wednesday. Please continue to pray for her and my mom. I love them both and need them in my life. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, April 14, 2002 at 11:35 AM (CDT)

I am very sad to say today, but Taylor has relapsed with her Leukemia again. All I can say for now is that we have one more shot at this and I ask for your prayers both day and night to save my little girl. I will update more when I can. We are at CHKD Hospital. We will be in room 809. Our phone number is 668-8809. Please I beg of you to pray in your heart for her continually. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, April 12, 2002 at 10:57 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone. Taylor went to Duke yesterday and received another DLI treatment. She was pretty sick through the whole infusion. They have to put something in the blood when they freeze it and it makes it smell awful. They said she could taste what we were smelling. I felt so bad for her. She throw-up quite a bit and finally went to sleep. I can't stand seeing her sick like that. Also, her WBC (white blood count) has starting going up. It was 10 yesterday and 25.3 today. The doctor's say it is a good chance it is due to her fighting off an infection. But, the last time this happened in February she relapsed with leukemia. We have to take her in tomorrow to have her blood checked again. Today she started having blood in her urine and her back hurts real bad when she goes also. The doctor feels that this is normal with the stent they put in. I hoping if their is an infection in her kidney or bladder this might be an explanation for her WBC rising so fast. Please pray for her that things will be good tomorrow and she will not be starting to relapse again. I will have to be honest I don't know if I could handle that right now. My mom went for her appointment today also and her counts were low. This is due to the chemo. So she has to be real careful at this time also. She will have results on her tumor marker next Wednesday. This will let us know how much cancer she still has left in her body. Please pray for Taylor and my Mom that they will be cured and beat this cancer. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, April 10, 2002 at 09:13 PM (CDT)

Well it is Wednesday night and we are once again home. Taylor is doing much better today. She has started moving around and little by little getting back to her old self. I am so thankful for that. Her CT Scans of her chest and head were clear. I am so thankful for that. She will be going to Duke in the morning to have another DLI treatment. I am very anxious to see what the doctors at Duke feel about what has happened this week. We will also find out what percentages of the cells she has is her versus Jonathan's. Last week Jonathan's were at 99%. I hope and pray we will still be that our better this week. I don't know if I could honestly handle any more let downs right now. I will update by Friday and let you know what we find on Thursday. Please continue to pray that all will be well and she will continue to improve with the DLI. She has her first radiation appointment on Monday. She will have 12 treatments for the tumor in her uterus and the doctor feels certain this will take care of it. Please continue to pray for my little girl and my mom as well. I am so thankful that I have the option of prayer in my life. I know I would never have come this far nor Taylor without it. Don't ever doubt that power because I can tell you it is real. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, April 08, 2002 at 07:09 PM (CDT)

Hello, sorry I have not updated before know. The surgery went well the doctors were able to place a stint between her bladder and kidney to free that up. The other doctor took a piece of the mass. The mass was found in her uterus. Today we found out that it was associated with her leukemia. That was expected. Tomorrow they will do CT Scans on her chest and head to be sure their is nothing there. Please pray that everything will be clear. Her bone marrow still shows 10% blast cells. This indicates their is still a small amount of Leukemia in her bone marrow. The plan at this point is to start radiation to desolve the mass in her uterus. The doctors feel certain this will take care of it. On the other hand we now have to increase the DLI weekly for a while because their is still signs of active disease in her body. The doctor's feel this is another hurdle we have to cross, but don't necessarily feel it will have a barren on her overall recovery. The only real problem is that we will now have to do the DLI more often which can cause some GVH which could present some problems for Taylor. Taylor has really been down since the surgery. She did not move an inch the day of the surgery. Today she has moved a little but not a lot. I really can not stand seeing her down. This surgery has put her down more than anything so far. I ask all of you to pray harder than ever that we can overcome yet another hurdle placed before us. I love her so much and need her in my life so badly. She is so important to all of her family. Please pray that we will continue to have her in our lives and our Father in Heaven will continue to bless her to be healed. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 09:40 PM (CST)

Well here we sit in the hospital. Things could be better. The ups and downs are about to get the best of me. Thursday we were told she was 99% donor cells and were on cloud nine. Today we have been told she has a mass in her stomach which is blocking the flow between her kidney and bladder. It all started last night. She all of a sudden started having the chills around 10pm then she threw up. She did not have a fever at the time, but then an hour later she had a temperature of 104.7. Of course we took her to the ER. We found out there she had an infection in her blood as well as a bladder infection. Later they did an ultra sound and found the mass. Tomorrow she will be going in surgery at 8am to have a tube placed in the line that runs from her kidney to the bladder to get it working properly then they will try to remove the mass (which they feel is a tumor from the leukemia) if possible during surgery. If not they will take a piece of it to see if it is cancer. If so she will have to have radiation to get rid of it. Now we can only hope and pray that their are no more tumors anywhere else in her body. They will do CT Scans to check her all over. They don't feel this has been here very long because she would have had some symptoms with her kidneys. I ask all of you to once again keep the faith and pray with me that they can resolve this and Taylor will continue to be made whole and well. I talked to Dr. Mustafa at Duke and he said this was not by no means the end. It was just another hurdle we have to get over. I know Taylor can do it. She has been so very strong through everything. Please once again I ask you to pray with all the faith you have and Taylor can and wil be healed. I will update tomorrow and let you know what they find. Thanks again for being there for us. Also, I just want to let you know that Taylor once again plays and acts like nothing is going on. I am so thankful through all of the ups and downs she somehow seems to be able to always feel good. That in itself is a miracle. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, April 04, 2002 at 06:37 PM (CST)

Great News Today!! Taylor is now 99% Donor Cells again. The doctors were all thrilled today and of course so were we!! So for now we just sit back and hope for the best. As long as she stays the same and does not decrease any they will not do any more DLI for now. Hopefully, she will become 100% over the next week or so. Then we just continue to pray that between the DLI and the Gleevec the leukemia will not be able to find it's way back. I am so very thankful today for the wonderful news. Please continue to pray for her and my mom and they can and will be healed through everyone's faith. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, April 03, 2002 at 08:05 PM (CST)

Hello Everyone! Just a little update before we head out to Duke in the morning. Taylor went to the clinic here on Tuesday. I though she was going to be needing blood, but to my surprise her red count had gone up and her platelets had drop down to 15. Her platelets had started going up last week. They were 78 on Thursday, so therefore I was kinda suprised when they went down to 15. I talked with the doctor and he said it wasn't anything to worry about it was most likely just a side affect of the DLI beginning to work. So on Tuesday she had to get a transfusion. In the morning we will go to Duke and she will see the doctor and hopefully that will be all. They will have the results of the test which will let us know how many cells are hers versus Jonathan's. As long as they are still at 93% donor cells they will not do anything. We are hoping for an increase, but as long as they do not drop we will be ok for now. They will not do anymore DLI for now unless she would start to go down on Donor cells or if after a few weeks she does not begin to increase. I am so very hopeful this will be her answer. I want so badly for all of this to be over for her so she can go swimming and do all the other things she ejoys this summer. She has had so much fun the past few days playing outside with her cousins and enjoying the beautiful weather. She is such a good little girl. Her hair is so cute and when she starts to get hot the little curls in her hair all start showing. She had such stick straight hair before. Layne, Jonathan, and Tyler have been enjoying themselves this week also since it has been spring break. Layne will be going with us tomorrow. Jonathan and Tyler will be staying home and enjoying their freedom with no mom and dad to tell them what to do. Grandma continues to be doing well for all she has been through also. She is such a wonderful mother and grandmother. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom so they will be able to overcome this cancer and be able to enjoy life to the fulllest once again. If someone would have told me a year ago I was going to have to face all of this I would have said I couldn't handle it. But, through the support of so many people and the love of my Heavenly Father I have been able to endure the things I have been asked to face. I just pray this next year we will be able to rejoice in the victory against these trails put in our lives. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, March 31, 2002 at 08:33 PM (CST)

Happy Easter to everyone! We had a very nice Easter Sunday! Taylor looked very pretty in her dress. She was able to go Easter Egg Hunting yesterday when the weather was pretty. She was very excited to hunt for the eggs. On the way over to my mom's she said she was all shivery because she was so excited about the easter egg hunt. Today we all went to my mom's and had dinner together and enjoyed each others company. We had a good time. Taylor is still doing well and feeling good and so is my mom. I am so thankful we have been blessed by our Father in Heaven to continue to have Taylor and my Mom in our lives. I just continually pray to him that he will make them both whole and well. I am so thankful for our Savior Jesus Christ especially at this Easter time and the fact that he suffered so for each and everyone of us so we can have eternal life. I can only imagine the pain and suffering he went through for each of us. Through all of this we learn how much he loves us and through this love for us I know he hears and answers our prayers. Therefore, I continually pray to him that he will heal my little girl and my mom. I am so thankful that I have the knowledge of my Father in Heaven and his son Jesus Christ. It is through this knowledge that I can bear what I must to help my little girl overcome this awful disease. I could never have traveled this journey this far without this knowledge. Forgive me if you will for seeming to overload you with so much of my personal thoughts, but I just wanted to thank my Father in Heaven for all he has done for Taylor and my Mom. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, March 29, 2002 at 09:40 PM (CST)

Just a little update on Taylor. She continues to do well and has had no signs of anything so far since her first DLI treatment last Monday. The doctors say she could develope a rash or have low grade fevers through the first week or so, but so far nothing. I am not sure if that is a good sign or not. Next week when we go back they will have the results of how many cells are now hers versus Jonathan's. Hopefully we will continue to see an increase in Jonathan's cells and she can be cured. Taylor is really looking forward to Easter. She still wants to put on her new dress and go to church, but for now I guess we will just get dressed up and go to Grandma's house instead. My mom is pretty tired from her treatment this past Thursday, but she is doing pretty well overall. She now only has two more chemo treatments left and she should be done. We feel pretty certain that she will be in remission by then and pray that her cancer will not return. I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter and know that our family loves and appreciates all that you have done for us. Please continue to pray for Taylor and her Grandma and I am certain they will be healed. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 10:00 PM (CST)

Hello everyone! Well we are at Duke once again. We thought we did not have to come back until next Thursday, but Dr. Mustafa wanted to see her this Thursday also. Whatever it takes is alright with us. Taylor had a good time tonite playing with some of her favorite nurses. When we got into town we went up to the BMT Unit and had a good time. Taylor had some squirt gun fights, chased her nurses and then left. She always wants too see them as soon as we get into town. We really do love them all and thank they are very special. Tomorrow Taylor will have some blood work done and the doctor will check her over and then we will be on the way home again. She is still very full of energy like usual. Unfortunately, they don't want her to go to church. She was looking forward to putting on her new dress for Easter and going back to church after 10 months. We will just let her get all dressed up and go over to Grandma's house instead. It won't be long and she can go back. So for now we will keep away from the crowds and do our best to keep her well. My mom had another report on her cancer this week also. Her tumor marker when she was first diagnosed was over 4,000. This week it was down to 173. Her doctor is very pleased. She will get another chemo treatment tomorrow and then she only has 2 left. We are very hopeful she will be in remission soon. Please sign my guestbook now and then and let me know how you are doing. I look at the guestbook everyday just as many of you look at the website daily. I enjoy reading what you have to say. Thanks again for all of the prayers and support. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, March 25, 2002 at 08:40 PM (CST)

Hello everyone. It is Monday evening and all is going well. Jonathan had a very long day. The needles were big and he says the pain was the same. Jonathan had to sit in one position for about four hours while they pumped the blood out one arm and back into the other. He had a pretty nurse stand by him all day and comfort him through the whole process. He has been a good sport through all of this although we know he would have done it no matter what the pain. We are very proud of him. Taylor told him today when we got in the car after he was done that she loved him and hoped he would never have to do that again. Our family has been through a lot over the past months and we have grown much closer in a very special way. This afternoon when it came time to give Taylor the infusion we had a few problems with the blood. They sent it over twice and it was clotting. Jonathan was starting to get very nervous he was afraid they were going to use it all up and he would have to start all over again. Finally Dr. Kurtzburg brought some of the cells over herself and the mixed them with saline as they infused them in her. It only took about 15 minutes for the whole process. She will get an infusion once a week now for the next few weeks. The doctors are very hopeful this will be the answer for her. We will be coming back to Duke now for at least once a week until things are under control. Then tonite after Taylor took her gleevec she ate a little steak and throw it up. The bad part is she also threw up the tube she had in her nose to take her medicine. So unfortunately she will have to go through the process of putting it back in tomorrow. She says she does not want to talk about it and I don't blame her, but for the night she can enjoy not having it in her nose. I know it must feel good being out. We will be going home tomorrow after she goes over and sees Dr. Mustafa. He just wants to check on her and make sure everything is looking good. He is such a wonderfull man. He told me today he loved Taylor very much and he was going to do everything he could to make her well. We are so very thankful he is our doctor. I feel we have been so blessed having him. I will have some new pictures for you when I get home. Keep the prayers coming for Taylor and my mom and I know they can and will be healed. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 09:49 AM (CST)

Just a quick update this morning to let you know we are all doing well. Our very dear friend left yesterday and that was no fun, but we sure enjoyed the days we had together. Taylor had a good clinic day yesterday also, she did not have to get anything. Jonathan is having to endure shots twice a day to boost his cells and everyone is enjoying that but him. I think everyone wants a turn to try giving him a shot. He has be a good sport about it all. We leave Sunday afternoon to head down to Duke. Jonathan will be giving blood for about 3-6 hours then they will get it ready for Taylor. We are hoping and praying this will be the answer for her. I ask all of you to pray also that this will be the cure for her and she will be through all of this. She has been so strong and brave through everything that she has been required to do. My mom went to the clinic yesterday also. Her counts are low at this time so she has to stay around home not to catch anything from anyone. She will get her next chemo treatment next Thursday if her counts are up. Also, we will know the results of the test that lets us know how much her cancer has shrunk next week. Pray for the results to be good. I have to get busy now, but just wanted to say I hope everyone has a great day and thanks once again for all of your prayers and support to our family. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 08:53 PM (CST)

Hello, again. Today we have traveled to and from Duke to get things started for Taylor. Jonathan and Taylor both had to be at Duke today to get blood work and test to begin DLI on Monday. The doctors were very pleased that Taylor was 93% donor cells again. They said this was the perfect scenario to begin DLI. The best thing is that Taylor will not have to get any conditioning chemo to begin. So therefore we will not have to stay in the hospital any for now. She will get her transfusion Monday afternoon after they finish with Jonathan. We will stay over night so she can be checked in the morning and then go home. From there we will be back and forth hoping for the best. Taylor is a very strong little girl and I know she can do it. I have been able to take a little break for the past couple of days. Keri came to see us all the way from Idaho again. She came for spring break, but I am the one getting the break. Taylor is making Keri do all the work. We are so glad she was able to come and spend time with us again. The next time she comes we hope not to have to spend any time in the hospital or clinic. We plan on just having fun. My mom is still doing well with the chemo treatments. Her energy level is very low, but we don’t have far to go and the treatments will be over. We should find out this week how much more the cancer has shrunk. Hopefully, we are just about into remission with her also. Then we just have to continue to pray for her that the cancer will stay away for a long time. All of her grandchildren enjoy her too much for her to leave them. Also, she has several grandsons that will be coming and going on mission for the next several years and she deserves to see them come and go and watch them grow into strong young men. She has been the best mother and grandmother that anyone could ever ask for. We all do love her dearly. Once again I would like to think all of you for your support and words of encouragement. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my mom that they will be cured. Also, pray for their doctors to continue to make the right choices for them on their road to recovery. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Monday, March 18, 2002 at 08:46 PM (CST)

Just a quick note tonite. Dr. Mustafa called me from Duke this afternoon and let me know that Taylor was now 93% donor cells again (Jonathan). This is the greatest news because now Taylor will not have to go through any chemo. We have to go Duke tomorrow with Taylor and Jonathan to start getting ready for the DLI. We should only be gone a day or so and then back on Monday for the first Injection. I will update you again when we get back from Duke and I understand more of what is going on. Thanks again for all the prayers and support for both Taylor and my Mom. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, March 15, 2002 at 09:29 PM (CST)

Hello again! The test results for Taylor’s Bone Marrow Test from Thursday are back. Her Leukemia was down to 8% in her Bone Marrow versus the 75% that is was Feb 22. To be in complete remission it has to be 5% or less. However, the doctors were very pleased with the results. There was a lot of baby cells that were growing and they all looked to be new Lymphocytes which is very good. We should be on the right track at this point. They will have a test result at Duke on Monday which should let us know how many are Jonathan’s and how many are Taylor’s. The doctors are hoping at least 50% will be Jonathan’s and we will not have to give Taylor any chemo before they begin DLI. That would be the perfect way to begin all of this. It would keep Taylor from having to endure several days of intense chemo. Please pray that this will happen for her. She continues to be a tuff little girl. Her back has been very sore from the Bone Marrow Test yesterday, but she does not slow down a bit. I myself have been pretty much up and down today waiting for all the results from the test. I was hoping some things would have been a little different, but as long as Taylor gets well I can deal with whatever I have too. Terry was also hoping for things to be better himself, but he continues to hold on to the faith that she will be healed of this awful disease.. My mom went to her doctor also today and her blood work was on the right track for now also. She continues to be a little on the sluggish side, but I am sure she will also improve as time goes on and she finishes all of her treatments. Then when she grows all her pretty hair back she will have to once again spend all that time in front of the mirror every morning fixing her hair. Please continue to pray for my little sweet Taylor and my mom that they will be able to beat off this cancer and win the battle. Also, remember their doctors in your prayers that they will be able to stay tuned and make the right choices for each of them along the way. I know that we are so blessed for the doctor Taylor has at Duke. He has been so wonderful through everything. I really am thankful for him. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 06:47 PM (CST)

Hello! Another day another bag of platelets. Taylor is still running low when it comes to platelets. She will also probably need blood in a day or so, but you would never know it with all the energy she has. This week has been full of ups and downs. Monday went well with the Doctor at Duke, but then Monday afternoon we were told that one of her bone marrow test she had the day after relapse showed perfectly normal male bone marrow. Another test showed 75% blast, which indicates leukemia cells. Needless to say we have been high and low on emotions wondering what all of this means. The doctors say that the test that shows the healthy male bone marrow is incorrect. I was hoping for a miracle myself. So for know Terry and I are hoping something will prove the male bone marrow test to be correct. The doctors say it is a mistake, but I can hope for the best until they prove it otherwise. It also showed no evidence of the philadelphia chromsome anymore. I guess we will have to wait for the final answer. They will be doing another bone marrow tomorrow. In case you are wondering about the male bone marrow that would indicate that Jonathan's cells had taken over again. I know I sound confused about what I am trying to tell you, I just don't know how else to put it. If everything is correct and the doctor's are right we will be at Duke in about 3 - 4 weeks to begin DLI. DLI means Donor Lymphocyte Infusion. They would take Lymphocytes from Jonathan and infuse them into Taylor and hope to bring own GVL. Taylor would be in the hospital for 5 days of conditioning chemo and a few days after that to see how she does after the injection. We would be an out-patient then and watch closely for GVL. Hopefully, she will get enough of it to finally cure the Leukemia she has. GVL means Graft Versus Leukemia. Her cells and Jonathan's will battle it out and hopefully Jonathan's will win. This time we need a little more of a battle than we had during transplant. The more GVL the better the chances are for a cure. I know I have said alot tonite and I hope I have made enough sense for you to understand. Now on to the next patient. My mom has been doing pretty good since Friday when she got her chemo. Hopefully, she will continue to respond to the chemo as she has done in the past. I will say all of the chemo treatments are beginning to wear her down, but she only has 3 more to go. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my mom and I know they can and will be cured. Thanks again for all the e-mails and support you give me. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, March 11, 2002 at 08:26 PM (CST)

Just a quick note to let you know that things went well today. We are going with the DLI also referred to as a mini transplant. I will give all the details tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know that Terry and I felt very good today after talking with the Doctor. He is so great. Our little girl is strong and she is going to recieve the miracle she so deserves. New pictures too. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, March 09, 2002 at 08:14 PM (CST)

Sorry it has taken me so long to update. I have just had a very emotional week. I have so many up and downs now. I get so overwhelmed when I think of Taylor not being in my life and it is honestly more than I can bear. I could not imagine a life without my little girl. She is so sweet. I try so hard to keep the faith and believe in that miracle that I know can happen. Taylor went to the clinic on Friday and she had to get platelets again. Her red blood count was down also, but not enough to have to get blood yet. My mom also went to the clinic for herself Friday. She was able to get her chemo treatment. Her counts had come up enough. She is really tired. I know all the stress of worry over me and Taylor is hard for her. I feel so bad because I fell that I just can't be their for her. She is sick and I want so much to be able to help her, but I am so busy taking care of Taylor it is hard. We go to Duke on Monday to find out the plan for Taylor. I ask all of you to pray that me and Terry will be able to make the best choice for our little girl. She is strong and she can fight this thing. I just need to be stronger so I can help her. She has had so much fun these past few days playing outside in the warm weather. Her grandma and grandad came up from NC today and she has had alot of fun playing with them. I will be so glad when the warm weather is her to stay so she can get outside and enjoy herself everyday. I ask you to continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom that the miracle they need can happen in their lives. They both deserve it. I will try to update you on Tuesday to let you know of our choice for Taylor's treatment. Pray also for her doctors that they will make the right choices for our little gril. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 08:26 PM (CST)

Hello! Another day at the clinic and another bag of plateletes. Other than that Taylor is still doing fine. I am still looking forward to Monday when we go to Duke. I have learned of a few other alternatives for Taylor in the mean time. Their is the possiblity of doing something called DLI. This is Donor Lymphocyte Infusion. From my understanding they would take Lymphocytes from Jonathan and infuse them into Taylor. Lymphocytes are a type of a white blood cell that helps protect the body against invading organisms by producing antibodies and regulating the immune system response. Not real sure what it all means, but I think it helps bring out GVL (Graft versus Leukemia) which help to cure the disease. I talked with a doctor in New York today and he has been working with kids using the combination of Gleevec and DLI.. It sounded hopeful to me. If Taylor was able to have this option she would not have to be in the hospital for a long period of time. That in itself would be a blessing for her. Also, I have been in contact with a parent from Norway with a little girl Taylor's age who has been the same route we have been and has also taken Gleevec along with DLI. Her daughter has been doing well when her doctors had pretty much given up on her. I am looking each and every day for the answer for Taylor. The past few days I have barely been able to function. I get so overwhelmed at the possiblity of not having her and it is truly more than I can bear. I try so hard to be strong for her because she does not like to see me cry. It is so hard at times. I just continue to pray to my Father in Heaven for the strength I need. I have to continually remind myself of what Terry keeps telling me. Faith proceeds the Miracle. I feel just coming in contact with some of these people finding other options is a miracle. I know we can go to transplant again, but the risk are so very high. Please pray for my and Terry to make the right choice for Taylor. We need that miracle in her life and I know that we can obtain it through prayer, faith, and obedience to our Heavenly Father. Please continue to pray for her that a miracle will come her way. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, March 03, 2002 at 03:19 PM (CST)

Hello! Well it is Sunday afternoon and Taylor is full of energy. We all would love to take a nap, but that is not going to happen. Nothing much has changed over the weekend. Taylor continues to tolerate the Gleevec well. We will return to the clinic again on Tuesday. We have an appointment scheduled for the 11th of March to talk with Dr. Mustafa at Duke. I am very anxious for the time to get her to see exactly what they plan for her. I just want everyone to know that even if the numbers are small, Taylor can beat this. Her doctors feel their is hope and the thing I am counting on most is the power of prayer and faith. I have been reading alot and the more I read the more I have realized that faith proceeds the miracle. Miracles do still happen on this earth at this time. Our Father in Heaven still hears and answers our prayers daily. Taylor deserves a miracle and it can and will happen. She is so fortunate to have so many people praying for her all over the country. I am so thankful for so many people who care about her. Also, for all of you who continue to pray for my mom also. We can beat this thing. I just ask my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to be able to do all I need to do for Taylor along the way. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, March 01, 2002 at 09:57 PM (CST)

Hello Again! It has been a long day. We went to the clinic for labs today hoping we might get by without anything and we had to get blood and platelets. We arrived at the clinic around 10:15am and left about 6:45pm. What a day. The good news is her counts should begin to go up now because yesterday her blood work came back with no Leukemia presents.. We are now once again in remission. The Gleevec she is now own will only destroy the bad cells so her counts should begin to stabilize and hopefully we might make the next 21 days without any blood transfusions. The doctors here have never used this medicine so we are not real sure if that is the way it will go but hopeful. Taylor is doing real well. She has become a little more aggressive with the nurses and shows them no fear now. I think that is her way of saying ok enough is enough. She does continue to show good spirits and I am thankful for that. She is a very tough little girl and I am not sure why she has been asked to endure so much at such a young age. I do feel in my heart she can beat this thing if anyone can. I know she is a very special little girl. I pray to my Heavenly Father that he will protect her and help her beat this awful battle she has been asked to fight. I try to stay strong for her but sometimes it is so hard when I look into her face and see how sweet and innocent she is. I don’t know the reason things happen the way they do, I just asked my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to be there for her. I know in my heart that Taylor can beat this thing. She has so many people who love her and pray for her to be healed. Also, all of her doctors have told me they feel Taylor does have hope or they would not have asked her to go through all of this again. Now about my mom. She had her labs today also. Her immune system is down the lowest it has been since she began chemo. That is not anything bad except she may not get her chemo treatment next week like scheduled. They need her blood counts to come up before they begin more treatment. I guess that is why she has been extremely tired and run down this time. Chemo is very tough on your body. I ask you to continue to pray for her also. All she wants at this time is to have the strength to sit and play with Taylor before she goes to transplant again. I love my mom and Taylor very much and continue to ask for your love and prayers for the both of them. Also, I want you to know that I love my husband and other children also. I ask you to pray for them also to have the strength to endure all of this again. I know it has been a tough year on them. I just want them to know that I do love them and want to be there for them also. Love, Taylor’s Mom Neena

Tuesday, February 26, 2002 at 08:57 PM (CST)

Sorry it has taken me so long to update. Taylor is doing great at this time. She came home today. She was picked up by a stretch limo. She went home in style and deserved it. The new medicine she is on (Gleevec) is working miracles in her body. Her doctors here and at Duke are amazed at the response she is having. Her white blood count went from 64.1 to 1.2 since Saturday. The doctor's are amazed at the response. Yesterday she had 89 percent cancer cells in her blood today she only had 20 percent. Their is no doubt in my mind prayer and faith work. I don't know why Taylor and our family has been called upon to face all of this again but we will and she will be made whole and well. I know this. I talked to her doctor at Duke tonite and he told me that Taylor was the most important case he had. He said she was very important to him and he would make her well. I am so thankful for the wonderful doctors she has been blessed with. Well it is late and I am tired. I have some pictures of Taylor and her limo which I will try to get on tomorrow. Right now I just want to lay down next to Taylor and thank my Heavenly Father for giving her another chanced to be cured. Please contiue to pray for her as well as my mom. I need my mom well becasue I need her so much at this time. Thank you for all the support and prayers you offer for our family. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday February 22, 2002 10:07 PM CST

I don't really know where to begin. Taylor has finally after 13 hours of none stop playing fell asleep. No one would believe her little body was so sick with cancer to look at her. She had her bone marrow test today and it of course confirmed what we already knew. That the leukemia has returned. After a long day of talking too many doctors they have decided a treatment plan for Taylor. Their is a new drug out called Gleevec. It is mostly used in adult patients with CML but there has been some studies of children with ALL PH+ like Taylor. This drug is designed to help fight off the Philadelphia Chromosome which is what makes Taylor's leukemia so bad. I feel it gives us great hope for Taylor. I know the numbers are not in our favor but, with the love of our Father in Heaven and the prayers of many we can still beat this. We will be in the hospital until Tuesday and should be able to return home for continued treatment. She will be on this drug for 28 days. We will then follow with a month of chemo and after that return for another transplant. I can't not believe we have this whole long road to walk down again but we can and will do it. This morning I did not feel that I had the strength to make myself walk out the front door and begin what I thought I had just finished but the strenght came and I have made it through this day. Terry is also hurting so much at this time. Please pray for him to have the strength to do what he needs to do as a father and husband. He is hurting so much inside. My boys are all heart broken. I feel so bad that I can't be right there with them to help the hurt go away. Please help me to look out for them at this time. Jonathan said he was ready to go to Duke and do it all again for his little sister. Layne has worn himself out trying to play non-stop with his little sister and Tyler needs me so much it hurts and I just can't be there right now. I love all of my children and want them to know that. I want all of my nurses at Duke to know we will be back and we are going to win this battle with their help again. Now about my mom. She had another test this week and her tumor marker has once again cut in half. So things continue to go in the right direction for her. I just pray for her strenght at this time because her heart too is about to break for Taylor. Please help us win this battle with your prayers and together we can and will be stronger and better people for it. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday February 21, 2002 9:27 PM CST

Tonite I don't know where to begin. My heart is about to break. Today we found out that our dear sweet Taylor's luekemia has returned. I really can't say much more right now. As soon as we discuss the treatment plan with her doctors tomorrow I will update. Please pray for her. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday February 18, 2002 2:12 AM CST

Good morning everyone! Here I sit at 3am looking for peace in my heart to know that my little girl will be ok. Living with the fear of luekemia striking my daughter again seems to be more than I can bear at times. I know that Taylor has been so blessed and one might wonder where my faith in our Father above is. Sometimes I wonder. I know that my Father in Heaven lives and that he does hear my prayers and knows the desires of my heart. I just think I am so torn between being a mother and a daughter of my Father in Heaven that I can't understand what he is trying to say to me. Somehow I thought by sitting here tonight and typing my fears and thoughts down I could help myself understand and feel the promptings of the Holy Ghost and be able to understand in my heart that Taylor will be ok. Nothing tragic has happened to make me be so worried except she is my daughter and I love her more than life itself. Also, I don't want to live with such fear each and every day and I know that is not what a true and loving Father would want for me either. I just want to be able to feel the peace and love I know that my Father in Heaven has for me and understand what are my fears as a mother and what are my true feelings from my Heavenly Father. I also want you to know that I know that our Father in Heaven lives and does hear and answer our prayers and sometimes we have to listen hard and pay attention to the things he wants us to hear. I ask each of you to continue to pray for Taylor and for me that I might be able to have a peace of mind and know that my daugher will be ok. I know the power of prayer does work because I have seen it work in my daughters life over the past months. So therefore, I know through the power of prayer I can feel peace if i will be tune myself in with our Father in Heaven and listen to him with all of my heart and put all of my fears in his hands. I know he loves us just as we love our very own children here on this earth and he does not want us to suffer but to be healthy and happy. Now as I sit here I wonder do I push the button and add this journal or just stop and let the typing of my feelings be and inspiration to myself. But, I am sure their are many of you who suffer from you own type of afflictions each and every day and I want you to to understand and know that our Father in Heaven does live and loves us and will answer our prayers if we will open our hearts and ask and then listen.

Thursday February 14, 2002 9:45 PM CST

Happy Valentines Day to Everyone!! We spent the better part of our Valentines Day at Duke. Taylor had a good time today. She was able to see two of her favorite nurses (Amy & Jennifer). She had alot of fun playing with them. Her visit went ok. Her white count has been increasing over the past week which is good but just a little fast all of a sudden. Of course me being the nervous person I am cant help but worry. The doctors say they feel it is all viral. Dr. M said he would even give me 97% surety that it is nothing else. They did do a test today to be sure that she is still 100% Jonathan. I ask all of you to pray that she will be and that I can have the peace of mind waiting until next Wednesday to find out. Also, they did an x-ray on her foot today. She has been limping for quite a while now. They found that one of the bones in her foot had deteriorated. This is due to the radiation and steriods. The good news is it will heal on it's own. Now about my mom. She goes tomorrow for another round of chemo. All is still looking pretty good. She is all excited tonite because her sister and brother-n-law from Ohio are coming to spend some time with her next week. Please continue to pray for her also. I appreciate all of the support you still give me and my family. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday February 10, 2002 4:41 PM CST

Hello everyone! New pictures again! Hope everyone is doing well. Taylor has been doing pretty well. Friday she began complaining of a headache and then stomach ache and then we were throwing up at the end of the day. Today and yesterday she still was having a little stomach problems but no more throwing up. Hopefully, she just had a little bug going on. She has now stopped all meds. We can only hope and pray that we want have to return to any again. Tomorrow she will go to the doctor to have a couple of things checked since she is no longer taking medicine. Then on Thursday we will be at the clinic. I just hope everything is going great for her. I am sure it will be I am just always nervous waiting on bloodwork. I think it will take me a while not to be. Grandma is doing good. She is driving once again and has been able to get out a little this weekend. She also went to church today. She still is a little down but I guess that just goes with the territory. Hopefully, if all is well she will get to go to Duke with us this week. That will be the first time since late November. Taylor is really looking forward to it. Thanks for all of your support and I will continue to keep the updates coming. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday February 6, 2002 9:56 PM CST

Hello everyone! Just a quick note to say all is well. Taylor is doing great this week. She has been playing and having a good time. It is our first week in 8 1/2 months that we did not have to be in a hospital or at a clinic. How wonderful!! The time has gone so quickly over the past months. It is hard to believe we have been through so much so quick. The best things is that Taylor is doing so well. I am amazed everyday at her recovery. I am also amazed everday at the way our Heavenly Father has blessed my little girl. She is very special. I know she has a wonderful life ahead of her. She is looking forward to seeing some of her nurses next week when we go to Duke. We will leave on Wednesday for our clinic day on Thursday. If any of our nurses read this please let us know if you will be working. We sure hope so. My mom is doing well with this last chemo treatment also. We just have to work on getting her spirits up. She needs to begin looking forward to living again. Hopefully, she will begin to come around and start fighting this cancer and not let it get the best of her. I know she can do it. We just have to help her keep looking at the positive. She also has been through so much with Taylor and now herself. I know sometimes that makes it tough to be positive. Please continue to remember them both in your prayers and I know they will be blessed for it. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday February 1, 2002 10:09 PM CST

Hello everyone! I guess it is about time I get to updating this website. Taylor had a good visit at Duke on Thursday. Her counts have began to recover nicely from being sick. She is doing well getting over the shingles. She is not having alot of pain in her arm anymore. We are now dealing with no eating and a limp with her right foot. Hopefully, the limp will go away. If not I will go for x-ray on Monday. They did not find any reason for it Thursday so we will wait to see if it just goes away. Her eating has been poor for about two weeks now. If she does not began eating over the next couple of weeks they will start her on some type of medication to get her appetite back. But even with all of that Taylor seems to be doing very well. She has really enjoyed playing outside the last few days with the warm weather. Next Thursday she will be off all medication. So we can only sit back and take it a day at a time and continue to hope for the very best for her. She is such a good little girl and deserves it. My mom went to the doctor to have her labs done today. She had to get a shot for low blood. Hopefully, this will give her some energy and she will begin to feel better. She really enjoyed her sister and brother-in-law spending time with her. On Thursday she was sorta depressed all day after they left. Their visit was very good for her and we really appreciated them being able to come and spend time with her. Tonite all the girls decided to go out and try to lift my mom's spirits along with a break for me. Taylor really did not want me to go. Anyway, we went to see a movie called A Walk to Remember. It started off really good (a love story of course) then the girl tells the boy she is sick. Well not just sick but has leukemia and is going to die. So much for a uplifting night. We all sat their and cried along with most everyone else in the movie. I guess I should have listen to Taylor and stayed home with her. I hope everyone is doing great. I want you to know I love all of you and am thankful for all you have done for our family. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom and we can and will get through all of this. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday January 27, 2002 8:55 PM CST

Check out the New Pictures! Well we are home again. We came home yesterday afternoon. We all were very gald to be home again. Taylor is doing pretty well. Her arm looks good. She is now back on another IV med twice a day. But that is ok as long as we are home. She has lost about 3 or 4 pounds this week. I hope she starts eating again. Everything worries mean so much. I try not to let it but just can't help myself. Today was the anniversary of my little sweet son Joshua's death. He has been dead for 14 years. I think that has been one of the reasons I have been so down today. I am sure he has been watching over his sister continually as her guardian angel through all of this. We will be going to Duke on Thursday. I am glad because I want them to look over Taylor good. I guess we will not be able to see our favorite nurses this week I dont know if we will be able to go up on the unit just getting over the shingles. So we will come see you next visit. My mom is doing pretty good. Her sister and her husband came to stay with her for a few days. That is good because mama cant be with Taylor now and alot of the other family have being trying to get over a virus. I am sure she enjoys having some company so she can stay in her own house and not be alone. She had chemo this past Friday and did well. Her tumor marker started off at 40,000 and was down to 8,000 after her first two rounds. This was her third round and also surgery since then so we will be hoping to see remission soon. Please continue to pray for her and my little girl and everything will be ok. Thanks again for all the support and love you show our family. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday January 23, 2002 4:12 PM CST

Hello everyone! We still remain here in the hospital. Taylor is sleeping right now. She is doing pretty good overall. Her wbc is down to 1.6 lower than I like but the doctors say that is normal. Hopefully, we will be out of here before too long. Probably another 5 days at least. Well not a whole lot more to tell you except please continue to pray for her and I did replace just one of the old picture with her arm. She wanted her nurses at Duke to see it. Also, she said tell my nurses at Duke I had a squirt gun fight with my nurse here today. My mom is still hanging in there. She is still pretty depressed but with all of the rain and Taylor in the hospital that makes it worst for her. Especially since she cant be with her any. Continue to pray for Taylor and my mom and I will be ever grateful to you. Thanks for the e-mails I have enjoyed them. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday January 21, 2002 6:44 PM CST

Hello Everyone! Thanks for all of the e-mails. I enjoyed all of them. Well for those of you who don't know we are back in the hospital. We are at CHKD at Norfolk. Taylor began complaining on Thursday of a sore risk and by Saturday was in alot of pain. She started having a rash and immediately I called Duke and they suspected zoster (shingles). Sure enough after spending 7 hours in the ER we were admitted. The good news is this is something we can deal with and get past. The bad news is Taylor has had a great deal of pain in her right arm and will most likely be here for 10 days. Of course like usual we are once again in isolation and she can not go out of the room. I am just thankful it is something that can be dealt with. Taylor really wants to be out of here and so do I. Although it would be better if some of our nurses from Duke would come down here and take care of us. We were not even allowed on our own floor here due to what Taylor has. Hopefully, all will go well and we will beat the odds again and get out of here sooner than they expect. Well now about my mom. She went to the doctor today and had the staples removed from her stomach.. All looked good and she will begin chemo on Friday. Please continue to pray for her also she still has a hard road ahead. She has been very depressed because of Taylor and not being able to see her. Today her doctor told her she should not be around her for the next several weeks. Her counts will be going down now also due to the chemo and he does not want her take any chance of getting sick either. That makes it tough because Taylor has been wanted her to come to our house so she could take care of her. She was not to happy either. We had just got her chair and had everything ready for her to come and stay a while when this happen. Things will get better. I do know this. We will all be able to be together and enjoy each other for a long long time. Taylor told me the first night we were back in the hospital that when she was a mommy she hoped her children did not have to be sick like her. I really did not know what to say. I just loved her and told her she would be well soon and her children would be alright. Please continue to pray for her and my mom and I know everything will be ok. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday January 18, 2002 10:31 PM CST

Okay, first of all I want to say some of you can sign my guestbook again just to say hello. I look at it everyday just like you might look to see if I did my part. I am only kidding with you but it would be nice every now and then. Now on to the more exciting stuff. Taylor is doing great. She went to Duke on Thursday and to CHKD in Norfolk today. Yesterday at Duke all of her bloodwork was great. Her wbc was finally up to 3.0 her Platelets were over 200 which was a first in almost 8 months. The doctors could not be more pleased with her progress. She had testing done on her lungs which showed her lung capacity had actually increased since transplant. Most children come back with a little bit of a loss in their lungs. But, leave up to Taylor to once again beat the odds. Of course we know it is the power of prayer that has blessed her so much. She had it rough today after getting her line out. Her chest has been pretty sore today. They had to give her morphine before she left the hospital. She said she was not taking the other one out. I am sure she will change her mind about that also. Please continue to pray for her recovery and no return of the luekemia. Now about my mom. She came home on Tuesday. She went to my sister's house. She is doing pretty good. Still pretty sore from the cut in her stomach. Monday she will go and have the staples removed. I am sure that will make things alot better. Tomorrow she is coming to our house for a change of scenery. Taylor is excited because she wants to be her nurse and help her get well. Tonite I went out and bought a recliner for her so she would be comfortable while she is here. We want her to have a place to go so she can rest and be comfortable and not be alone. I am sure she will be ready to go home before long and take a break from all of the noise. Between 7 kids at my sisters and my 4 children anybody would need a break after a while sick or not. I think she will begin her chemo again next Friday. She has 6 more rounds to go which will take another 18 weeks. Please continue to pray for her. She has a hard fight ahead but I know she can be blessed also just as Taylor. Thank you all for the support and prayers you have given for our family. I am grateful to all of you each and everyday. I do not know how I would have handled things without all of you. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 08:59 PM (CST)

Hello Everyone! It is Sunday night and I can't believe I am about to spend a night in the hospital again. Not with Taylor but my Mom. I thought those days were over. At least with my mom she is sleeping most of the time and I can actually do something myself. Taylor on the other hand did not give me a lot of time to do anything. Also, she was not that excited about me leaving her for a night. She came up and saw her Grandma for a minute and after seeing her she said it would be ok just for this one night. Taylor is still doing very well. We do have a busy week ahead going to Duke and getting one of her central lines out on Friday. She is very excited to have one of them removed. It will be great when they are both gone. Now about my mom. She is doing pretty good. She has walked around the halls today and sat up a lot. Her stomach continues to be very sore. I guess that just takes time. We are still very hopeful to be out of here by Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest. The doctor is pleased with her progress so far. She wanted me to let her sisters know that she is ok and she loves them all and to continue to pray for her. Know on another note. Last night I went to a viewing for a young girl we knew her at home as well as at Duke. She passed away last week due to various infections she had during transplant. It was a very sad occassion. It really left me thinking alot. This young girl was 17. She has suffered with Leukemia ever since she was 4 years old. She went nearly 10 years before she releapsed and then again for a third time this summer. I just hope and pray that Taylor will not have to go through a lifetime of having to fight this disease over and over again. I just pray with all of my heart and soul this transplant will be the cure for her and it will never return to cause her any pain ever again. Please continue to pray for her and I know that our Father in Heaven will hear our prayers and take care of my little girl. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, January 10, 2002 at 09:57 PM (CST)

Hello all. It is 11pm and I am tired. Just wanted to quickly let you know what is going on with my mom today after surgery. I think the surgery went pretty much as the doctor had expected. He removed as much of the cancer as posssible and now all we can do is hope the chemo will take care of the rest. Of course she was scared to death they would go in and close her up and say there was not anything they could do. She was quite relieved when she came around and found out the surgery had gone as expected. She still has a small amount of fluid in the lungs causing breathing problems but they hope additional chemo will clear them up. She was not very happy tonite when they would not let Jacque spend the night but I truly think she will sleep most of the night and not know the difference. She is in a type of ICU for a few days. She will be able to have two of us at a time stay with her during the main visiting hours. Hopefully, by Sunday she will be in a regular room. If all goes well maybe she will even be home by Wednesday. Please keep her in your prayers continually because I do know the power of prayer works the greatest of all. I know none of us are ready to give up our mom (grandma) anytime in the near future. She is the core of our family. We all love her very much and need her in our lives. Now on the positive note for my little Taylor. Some of her 100 day studies have come back. She is still 100% donor cells which is the greatest news anyone could ask for. Also, there is still no evidence of the Philadelphia Chromosome in her blood. I could not ask for anymore than that. She has been one blessed little girl. Also, next Friday she will be able to have one of the central lines in her chest removed. She is really looking forward to that. Together her and her grandma will beat this awful disease. Check out the new pictures also. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, January 05, 2002 at 08:33 PM (CST)

A little slow with the updates. New pictures too. I guess with all the excitement of snow falling in VA too much has been going on. Taylor did go to Duke this past week as planned even with all of the snow. Our usual 3 hour trip home took us about 5 1/2 hours. Fortunately, we had no accidents on the way home with all the bad weather. Taylor did not get to have all of her studies done due to the bad weather and people not going to work. She did have x-rays of her chest and they all came back good. Most of the testing done on Thursday was bloodwork so we will have to wait until next week for some of the results and about 4 weeks for others. Next week we should find out if Taylor is still 100 percent donor cells. Please pray that she is. Also, they took another test to check on the Philadelphia Chromsome which we should also have the results on next week. She is doing so great. She has not been able to eat milk products for the past 100 days. Thursday the doctor gave her the go to start drinking milk and eating ice cream. Taylor could not wait to get some ice cream. She always has loved eating it. Friday after she finally ate some she said, "I am regular Taylor again." I am so thankful she is. Also, this week we can schedul to have one of the central lines removed from her chest. We will be doing that at Kings Daughters. We do not go back to Duke for 2 weeks. That is a first since the beginning of September. Things worked out real good for me because my mom will be having her surgery this coming Thursday. Her doctor visit went really well. The doctor said after the first round of chemo her tumor size was cut in half and she has had another round since then. So it looks like things are working for her also. Now we just have to get past the surgery. She is really not looking forward to that at all. Please pray for her also that things will go well on Thursday and that they can remove as much of the cancer as possible. Thanks once again for all of the prayers and support you have shown our family over the past seven months. You will never know how much it means to us. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, December 31, 2001 at 11:15 PM (CST)

Happy New Year to Everyone! This is the year! I tried to explain to Taylor about it being a new year and told her this was the year she would not be sick anymore. She responded by saying, "You mean I want be sick anymore"! I said that is right. She said that would be great. I will be regular Taylor again. I just want to think everyone for all you have done for our family this year. Most especailly for Taylor. I will never forget all the prayers that were offered in her behalf. I hope everyone has a most wonderful new year!! Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, December 29, 2001 at 09:20 PM (CST)

Hello Everyone! Sorry I have been so slow with updates. Taylor is still doing well. On her visit Thursday her white blood count was down to 2.9. The doctors still say she is doing fine. I guess the up and downs are just the way things go. I did find out that we will continue to go once a week through the month of January. That is ok. I do feel much better having the doctor there looking over her good every week. They stopped another one of her medication this week also. She now only takes a drug that helps to prevent GVHD. They are going to start cutting that back next week. That is one reason they want to watch her. A little bit of GVHD could be good for her though. It helps to prevent the Luekemia from returning. I would give anything not to ever have to worry about that again. I know she has been so blessed. I guess with time the fear will slowly go away. My mom will go on Wednesday morning to see how her treatments have done. The took some test this past week and we will have the results when we go to the doctor. He will also be setting up the date for her surgery. I hope it does not conflict with the time I need to be at Duke. She is truly scared to death to have this surgery. But, I do think she is feeling pretty good. The biggest thing of course is the hair loss and being tired alot. I will let you know hopefully this Wednesday when we get back from the doctor how things go. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my Mom. I know they work. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, December 25, 2001 at 05:08 PM (CST)

Merry Christmas Everyone!! I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas. Be sure to check out the new pictures. We did!! Taylor has been up since 7am and still playing at this time. She has had the best day. I am so thankful for her and the good health she has been blessed with. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for blessing Taylor the way he did. Taylor is a very special little girl. We spent Christmas Eve with all the family at Grandma's house. Taylor stayed in the bedroom with her cousin Sandy most of the time to avoid all the people. We let her come out to take a picture and open her present. Everyone had such a good time. Grandma was hanging in there too. She wore her cute little Santa hat most of the night to cover up her new look. She would have to let her head breath every now and then and we would get a peek at that cute little white head of hers. She is still handling her chemo very well. Next week she will have test done to see how the chemo is working. We will have those result on the 2nd of January. I will inform you as soon as I know. Taylor returns to Duke tomorrow afternoon. She has clinic day on Thursday. I will let you know how things go when we get back. It will be hard taking her away from all of her new toys. The first week of January should be her last week for a month or more. We have to be there a few days for some day 100 studies. I can't hardly believe we have almost finished. Well, I will update you soon and let you know how Taylor and Grandma are doing. Hope you continue to have a wonderful holiday. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, December 21, 2001 at 09:52 PM (CST)

Hello! Home again after another day at Duke. Taylor is really doing great!!! All of her counts where up. Her white blood count was in the normal range. First time in a month. They thought they would have to give her GCSF to get the WBC up this week but, you know Taylor, she did it on her own. Went from 2.3 to 4.4 in a week. I was so excited. She got to see most of her favorite nurses again and had a great time with them. We will return again next Wednesday night for another day in the clinic on Thursday. The first week in January will be her day 100 studies. After that we do not go back for a month or so but I am not sure at this time. Now about my mom. She had another round of chemo today. Next week she will have some more x-rays taken to see if the tumors are starting to shrink. Also, this week the unbearable happened. She lost all of her hair. She had called Jacque and me and told us she had a bald spot on the back of her head. We both went over to her house for a little support. When she came to the door she had more than a bald spot on the back of her head. It just broke our hearts to see her standing there like that. I guess we all stood there and just cried for a little bit. My mom has always cared a great deal about her hair and took pride in always having it look so nice. It was much harder than I expected it to be when it was all gone. But, we then took out the hair trimmers and took care of the rest of it. Then we had our laughs about her cute little white head and everything was ok. And it will be ok. She is going to beat this thing just like Taylor. With good medicine and the prayers and faith of many she too can overcome this cancer. Tomorrow Taylor and me are going over to help her make some cookies and candy for Christmas. I am looking forward to it. I am hoping it will finally start feeling like Chirstmas. We have been so busy coming and going it really has been hard to get in the Christmas spirit this year, but we will!! I hope all of you have a very Merry Christmas this year also. I will continue to keep you updated on Taylor and my mom as the reports come in. Thanks again for all of the support and many prayers for the ones that are most precious to me. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, December 17, 2001 at 09:05 PM (CST)

Hello Everyone! New Pictures! Taylor is still doing great! She is very anxious for Christmas to get here. I am so thankful she is going to be able to spend the holidays at home. We may not be able to go around to see all the family but, we can deal with that. Just having Taylor healthy is enough. Taylor had fun tonite making a gingerbread house. It is 10pm and she is still going strong. I wish I had half of her energy. We will return to Duke on Thursday night. Taylor will be in the clinic on Friday this week. She always looks forward to her trips back to see her nurses. We both miss them alot. My mom continues to be doing pretty well with the first round of chemo. She will be getting chemo again this Friday. I hope it will go as well as this one did. I will continue to keep you updated on what is going on. I hope everyone is ready for Christmas!! Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, December 15, 2001 at 08:57 AM (CST)

We got some more great news! Taylor had a test done two weeks before tranplant to test for the Philadelphia Chromosome as well as other Luekemia cells. This test took alot of time because they counted over 1 million cells. The good news is they did not find any Luekimia or PH. This test was also done before any radiation or the additional chemo she received prior to transplant. This is the best Christmas present I could get. I know that it is still not a gurantee but, I know it is a very positive sign, which I have been praying for all week. I just needed some news like this to help relieve the stress I feel everyday. I know I just need to put my faith in my Heavenly Father and everything will be ok. For my mom, she is very depressed. She has started to loose her hair and is very upset. I know how i felt when that happened to Taylor and can only imagine how I would feel if it happen to me. I am going to give you her address and if you have time send her a card. She could use a little uplift at this time. It is 104 Jacquelyn Drive, Portsmouth, VA 23701. I just want to thank you for all your support and prayers. I know you will be blessed for it. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, December 13, 2001 at 08:48 PM (CST)

Hello!! We have returned from Duke again. Taylor is still doing great. Some of her counts did drop but, the doctors assure me she is still doing great. We do not have to go back again until next Friday. So if any of our favorite nurses are working on Thursday night we will do our best to come and see you. Taylor was looking pretty cute today. She was all dressed up in her little dress. I have some new pictures of her from today. My mom is still doing pretty good also. She will be getting more chemo next Friday. Then the first of January she will be having surgery. We are still trying to get ready for Christmas around here. It is hard. Taylor want give me much time to go anywhere. Far as I go just having Taylor home and well is all I need to have a wonderful Christmas. I will continue to keep you updated on Taylor's progress. Please continue to keep her in your prayers. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, December 09, 2001 at 02:02 PM (CST)

Hello everyone!! New pictures! Taylor is still doing great. She plays almost none stop. I can't seem to keep up with her. I am so thankful she is doing so well and is so healthy at this time. I love her so much. My mom continues to be tolerating the chemo treatments well. She comes and plays with Taylor too. I will be so glad when she can play with her little cousins and friends again. I know she really misses that. I still enjoy reading the comments in the guestbook and check them everyday. I am so thankful you are there for me and ask you continue to keep my little girl and my mom in your prayers. Love, Taylors Mom Neena

Thursday, December 06, 2001 at 09:19 PM (CST)

Hello Everyone! We are back from Duke once again. The trip went well. Taylor's counts were starting to go back up again. The doctor said she was looking great and doing great also. We don't have to go back until next Thursday. That will be nice. Maybe I can finally start to get some things ready for Christmas around here. Taylor had her Birthday yesterday. She is now 5 years old. I am so thankful she was able to celebrate her birthday and be so well at this time. She was lucky enough to have 2 parties. She had some cousins over on Tuesday and went to Coleman's and rode on the rides they have there for Christmas. Then last night on her actual birthday she was able to spend it with some of our very best friends in the world. We went up to the hospital and had a party with the best group of nurses at Duke Medical Center. I just want to thank the nurses for being such good sports and letting Taylor soak them with her water gun, mess up their hair, and squirt silly string all over them. She had such a great time. I love watching her play and laughing. It really makes me feel good to see her have so much fun. We really love you special group of nurses who took such good care of Taylor. You will never know how much you mean to me and Taylor. Look out though we will be back.. My mom is still tolerating the chemo pretty well. She is a little tired but doing pretty good. Please continue to remeber her in your prayers also. She is scared to death. I do know she can be made well also just as Taylor through the power of prayer. We love all of you and are so thankful for the prayers offered in our behalf. Hope you have a great day. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, December 03, 2001 at 09:44 PM (CST)

Well it is Monday evening and we are home again. Today's visit went pretty well. We were moving along pretty quick until. Taylor's magnesium has been running low so we had to wait around to get meds to take home. Taylor will not take her meds by mouth so she has to be hooked up for 12 hours each evening to get her magnesium level back up. It is a little crowded in the bed with Terry, Taylor, pumps, and me but whatever it takes. She is still dropping in some of her counts but the doctors say it is normal. Her blood is sorta low so therefore her energy level is not as high. Lucky for me I guess. We will return again on Wednesday evening for our Thursday visit. Hope to have some fun with the nurses on Wednesday night. Taylor is having a small party outside if the weather will hold up tomorrow. It is her birthday on Wednesday and she still can't be around alot of kids. Therefore, I am having a few of the family over to celebrate with her. My mom is doing pretty good. She is extrememly tired but that is part of the chemo. Hopefully, it is doing the job it is suppose to do. I am still grateful to my Father in Heaven for all he has done for my daughter. I love her so much. I do know through his power she can and will be healed. Please continue to keep her and my mom in your prayers. As well as all the other little sick children up in the Bone Marrow Unit. They truly need your prayers. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Monday, December 03, 2001 at 09:44 PM (CST)

Saturday, December 01, 2001 at 10:11 AM (CST)

Hello Everyone!! All is well this morning. Taylor is running around playing and having a good time. She seems to be doing well. As for my mom her chemo went well so far. She has felt pretty good, a little tired and shakey but in all doing well. We can just hope and pray it stays that way and does the job it is suppose to do. Taylor is all excited because she will have a birthday this week. She will be 5 years old on Wednesday. I am so thankful she is doing well and will be home for her birthday. We go to Duke tomorrow night and I will check back in on Monday and let you know how that goes. Have a good weekend and please keep the prayers going because I know they work. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Thursday, November 29, 2001 at 07:41 PM (CST)

We have new pictures again!! Sorry about being so slow with pictures but alot is going on around here. I have been at Duke today. Taylor is still doing well but the doctor in the clinic now wants to see her again on Monday. So unfortunately we have to go Monday and Thursday of next week. Her counts are still down a little. Also, she is not eating that well so he wants to keep a close eye on her right now. The eating thing is pretty normal though for kids after transplant. If any of our favorite nurses are working Sunday night or Wednesday night please let us know so we can come and bother you. My mom begins her chemo tomorrow. Of course she is scared to death worrying about it making her sick. I told her she is going to be tough and do great just like Taylor. It is tough trying to handle to patients at one time and Taylor is not willing to share me to much. Please pray for my mom that the chemo will be easy on her and she will be able to tolerate it well. Last night when we took Taylor up to play with her nurses a boy on the unit named Reggie had just passed away. We also found out our little friend Matthew who was in ICU had passed away the night before. Needless to say last night was a rather depressing night. You really get to know these kids and their parents and it breaks your heart when things like this happen. Please remeber these families in your prayers as well as all of the little children on the unit. They have such a tough battle to fight. We love and appreciate everyone who has been there for us and who still is. You will never know how much we appreciate your prayers and concern for our little Taylor. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, November 27, 2001 at 07:17 PM (CST)

Hello! All is still well with Taylor. She has really become my little shadow. Every where I go she is right behind me. We have really become attached to each other in more ways than one over the past 6 months. She does not want me to go anywhere. If I do sneak out for a minute she has someone call me on the phone to see what is taking so long. I guess I really do like all the attention she gives me. She is my sweet little girl and I do not know what I would ever do without her. I am so thankful to my Father in Heaven everyday for her recovery. Now about my mom. The news was good. She does have cancer but it was the best possible type of all the choices we were facing. I really don't know how to explain what type it is except it is in her stomach and is the same type of cancer cells as ovarian. She will have some major surgey to remove as much of the cancer as possible and then go through chemo. Taylor thinks that is neat because her grandmother will be bald like her. She could live many many years with this type of cancer the doctor said. Taylor I believe can be a great strength to her grandmother having gone through the same thing herself. We head out to Duke tomorrow and Taylor will be in the clinic on Thursday. I wil let you know how things go. Please continue to pray for Taylor and my mom. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, November 25, 2001 at 06:20 PM (CST)

Well it is Sunday evening and all is well. Taylor seems to be doing great. She has been real full of herself today. I got to go to church for the first time in about 3 months. It was nice to be able to go to church agian. I did not get to stay long though Taylor had me on a time limit. She took care of her grandmother while I went. We will return to Duke Wednesday and go to the clinic on Thursday. I will let you know how that goes. Tomorrow I will go to the doctor with my Mom and hopefully find the source of her cancer. I just hope and pray it is something the doctors can cure. I am just not up to a whole lot right now. It has been a tough six months with Taylor. But, I know I can do whatever it take to help my mom. I guess just emotionally I am a little drained. I finally got some new pictures again. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, November 23, 2001 at 09:49 PM (CST)

Back in VA!! This morning we left at 7am to go to Duke to have Taylor checked out at the clinic. Once again my prayers were answered and Taylor's counts have began to slowly trend back up. I am so thankful. The final results of the Bone Marrow were not in yet. It will probably be on Monday when we get those. The doctor still is certain that the news will still be good. We will have to return on Wednesday afternoon to go to the clinic on Thursday for bloodwork and meds. Taylor has been so blessed. There are so many sick children up there right now. Two of the children are in ICU fighting for their lives. Their names are Matthew and Morgan please keep them in your prayers as well as their families. It is so hard to see this little children suffer so much. Also, we will go to the doctor with my mom on Monday afternoon to find out what type of cancer she has and what kind of treatment that will be planned for her. Taylor has been so sweet to her the past couple of days. It seems like she knows exactly what is going on. She sat right by her all day on Thanksgiving and loved on her. Tonite when we got home she wanted to go back over to her Grandma's again. She sat right there on the couch by her for 2 hours and never moved. If anyone knows how to be a good nurse it would be Taylor. I will have some new pictures this weekend. It has been hard to get things done on the computer with all the back and forth to Duke the past few days. We love and appreciate all of you. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, November 21, 2001 at 09:14 PM (CST)

My prayers were answered. I know our Heavenly Father hears our prayers. The news was GOOD!!!! Taylor's bone marrow test was done today and the doctor checked it under the microscope and said he did not see any Lukemia. They will send it out for further test but, the doctor feels they will be fine and so do I.. Her counts were down a little more today from yesterday which is still concerning but the doctors still think it is something viral. Taylor really wanted to come home this afternoon so the doctor said it would be fine. We will get to spend Thanksgiving at home. We have to return Friday but hopefully will be able to come home for the weekend. Unfortunately Taylor is pretty sore tonite from the bone marrow test. I guess I feel sorta guilty for putting her through all that but I am so relieved. She is the sweetest little girl. I love her so much. We still do not have any word on my mom's test yet. She has an appointment on Monday and fortunately I should be here to go with her. Continue to pray for her and Taylor. I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I know that I have so much to be thankful for this year. I owe so much to our Father in Heaven for all he has done for our little girl. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Tuesday, November 20, 2001 at 07:25 PM (CST)

Hello Again. I am now at Duke again. Alot of moving around lately. Taylor had an appointment at the clinic today. She is still running a fever. The lab test showed that their had been some changes in some of her bloodwork. Her Red Blood Cells had drop from 10.6 to 9 and her White Cell Count had dropped from 6.0 to 3.0. Of course this scared me to death. I guess I am just over emotional at this time with all that is going on with Taylor and my mom. My fear is of course the Lukemia the doctors feel it is just something viral which would also cause the counts to drop. They are going to do a bone marrow test tomorrow. Taylor has to be put to sleep so it was schedule for 12 tomorrow. After the test the doctor will look at the slides to see if he sees anything going on as far as lukemia goes. They do not expect to see anything they just want to reassure me. Please keep her in your prayers. Also, today my mom had her test to see if they can determine the source of her cancer. We probably will not know anything on that until Friday. Thank you for all the support and please remember my mom and Taylor in your prayers. I will let you know as soon as we do about the test. It also looks like we will be spending Thanksgiving here now. But, if the test comes back good tomorrow I don't care where I spend it. I will just be so thankful. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Sunday, November 18, 2001 at 05:18 PM (CST)

Well I am in Virginia again. We had not planned on coming this weekend but I had to get home and see my mom. Taylor is still running a low grade fever. We are planning on returning to Duke again Monday evening. Not quite sure yet though. The doctors continue not to be to concern about the fever. Unfortunately, it is driving me crazy with concern. I can't help worry about the Lukemia returning or who knows what. The doctors do not share that same concern. They just feel she has a virus or something going on. I do know that I probably will always be worried to death everytime she has anything going on. I just wish the fever could go away and we could get home and be with my mom and help her get thru whatever she may have to face in the next few weeks. Please pray for Taylor and my mom. I just hope and pray we can find the source of her cancer and cure it also. I just cant hardly believe that I have to face this trial at this time. Our family has been through so much for the past six months. It almost seems unbearable. But, I do know with the Lord's help and everyone's prayers we can and will get through it. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Friday, November 16, 2001 at 05:44 PM (CST)

Don't know what to say today!! Taylor is ok still has a fever but doing fine. Unfortunately, we are not able to go home before Monday at the earlist. On the other hand this has been one of the worst days of my life. We just found out my mom has cancer. It has spread into her stomach and they are not sure what type or where it is coming from at this time. The doctors are very concerned. I can only ask that you pray for her with all your heart and soul. Also, please pray that Taylor's fever will go away and I can go home to be with my mom. I love her so much and I can't bear being away from her at this time. My mom is the center of our whole family. If she is not here with us nothing would be the same. Gene's, Jacque's and my children adore their grandmother. They all love to go to her house more than anything I can think of. Every single Sunday evening her house is full of her grandchildren. So is every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and every other holiday you can think of. I beg of you to pray she will be ok. Also, please continue to pray for my little girl. She loves her grandmother so much. Please pray her fever will go away and we can go home to be with her. Love, Taylor's Mom, Neena

Thursday, November 15, 2001 at 10:07 PM (CST)

Taylor continues to have a fever today. It is 11pm right now and her fever was 100. I just hope and pray that it will be gone in the morning. We will not be able to go home until she is fever free for 72 hours. Right now we are looking at Monday. I guess you never know what to expect in this game. The doctor's say that she seems to be perfectly healthly. They do not find anything going on in her labs or exams to indicate anything. They are hoping she just has a small bug and it will just go away in a couple of days. Taylor has a wonderful doctor which is new to the group and he stays on top of everything. We are so thankful to have him. All of the doctors in the group are great. I know she will be ok. Continue to pray for her and my mother. We still don't know what is going on with her yet. We should have test results in the morning. Please pray for the best. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Wednesday, November 14, 2001 at 06:08 PM (CST)

We are back in NC. It is a little harder this time. I think leaving and going home made it alot harder to come back. Unfortunately, Taylor also has come down with a fever. I woke up this morning around 5:30 and she was really hot. She had a temperature of 102. Scared me to death of course. We got here around 11 and went straight to the clinic. They took cultures and tomorrow we should know if anything is going on. I hope and pray it is just a fever and that is it. Taylor will be so disappointed if she does not get to go home Friday. Still no news on my mom yet either. Well I guess all I can do is sit back and pray they will both be ok. I don't think I could handle alot of disappointment right now. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Tuesday, November 13, 2001 at 09:11 PM (CST)

Hello again! It is late Tuesday evening and we are all packed and ready to return tomorrow to Duke. Taylor is not to excited about going back but she says it is ok. She has really enjoyed being home. We know have the chore of going back and getting everything organized and packed to leave the apartment for good. Hopefully, we will only return to Duke once a week for now until January. I will have to see how everything goes at the clinic on Thursday to know for sure what is going on. I still enjoy reading your comments in the guestbook so please don't forget to sign in if you get a chance. It sorta makes me feel left alone when you stop signing in. Thank you to all those who have signed in I really do appreciate it. I look forward to reading what you have to say and to know that you are still out there praying for Taylor. Also, today we found out that my mother's left lung is full of fluid and don't know the cause right now. I ask for your prayers that it is nothing serious because I could not stand anything to happen to her. She is a great support to Taylor and me. We love her very much. I will let you know how everything goes at the clinic on Thursday. Thank you for all of your support. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Monday, November 12, 2001 at 06:12 PM (CST)

We are still in Virginia. Taylor wanted to stay a little longer so we did not go back today as planned. I had to get her meds sent by Fedex so we could stay until Tuesday night or Wednesday morning not sure yet which one. She is having so much fun being home again. But, look out nurses at 5200 she still plans on soaking you Wednesday night. She has not forgot about that. It is good being home but we do still miss everyone there also. I guess the people at Duke will always hold a very special place in our heart now. They have been so good to Taylor and me and we will never forget that. Taylor is so happy now. I just hope and pray the hard times are over for her now and she can get stronger and better everyday. She has been so courageous through all of this. I just look forward to when she can be around everyone she loves and not have to worry so much about all the germs around her. I will continue to keep you updated on Taylor's progress. She will be going to the clinic on Thursday and hopefully everything will still be good. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Saturday, November 10, 2001 at 08:40 PM (CST)

We are in Virginia. Taylor says it does not get any better than this!! She is so excited to be home. She keeps asking how much longer can she stay home. She has had a great time so far. Today she went to the park and played with her cousins. She had a good time. It was great to see her running around playing with them again. I just hope and pray things continue to go as they are. It has been a little different for me being home. The house was not in to bad a shape when I got here. I was impressed with how well they had done. Of course as soon as I drove in the driveway the boys all stopped working and went in the house and sat down and they have not done anything since. I know they were all glad for us to be home but I think Tyler has missed me the most since we have been gone. He still likes having his mom around. He has always been special because he was my angel baby. He was born about one year after our infant son Joshua died. He filled a very special void in my life. Unfortunately, Taylor want give him much space where I am concerned. I guess we will return to Duke on Monday. Taylor will be seen at the clinic on Thursday. We will then pack and return home again until next Wednesday. Emily if you read this Taylor wants to come to your work and play again. She does miss her friends and nurses alot. We have grown to care about many people at Duke. When we finally do return home we will truly miss them. Continue to pray for my little girl. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Thursday, November 08, 2001 at 07:19 PM (CST)

All I can say is Terry and boys look out because here we come!! The doctor told us to go home and enjoy the weekend. Yes, we are going to Virginia in the morning. Only for the weekend though. Taylor is very excited to say the least. The doctors say it will be good for Taylor's spirits. On the other hand for me it may be quite a shocker when I see my house. Today at the clinc everything was still looking good. They continue to be quite impressed with her progress. I just hope and pray we stay on this track and she will be cured. I know we still have months to visit the clinics but that is ok. Taylor has been a very stong girl through all of this. I know most of us could have never handle things the way she has. I know she is a very special little girl. I believe she is an example to all of us for the courage she has shown. So many people here have touched Taylor's and my life in such a special way. We will truly miss everyone when we go home for good. Amy on the other hand better look out Taylor is out to get you. She found out about the elephant on her head and she says she is coming to get you. She wanted to get you tonite but I told her she has to wait until next week. You better wear your rain coat. We had a great time last night with the nurses. They had a little fun on Taylor's head. Check it out in the photo's. I will do my best to update you over the weekend. If not we will be back on Monday. Hope everyone has a great weekend. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Wednesday, November 07, 2001 at 11:38 AM (CST)

Just a quick update to let you know that Taylor is still doing good. She has had a few stomach aches but hopefully it want turn in to anything serious. Alot of the kids get GVHD in the stomach and Taylor has already had this once. They have been reducing the amount of steriods and that is what helps to keep the chance of GVHD occuring. If she was to get any GVHD we would not be able to leave. So continue to pray for her that it is nothing and we will be able to go home as planned. I am sorry for the lack of updates but to be honest I have started having a severe back ache and the medication the doctor has sent has not helped a bit yet. I am trying to get something else to avoid having to leave and go home to the doctor. When I sit to type it seems to aggrevate it even worse. I will do my best to keep you updated but it may be every couple of days. There are so many things I wanted to do for some people around here before I leave so I am hoping it will get better soon. I sure have learned alot about having compassion for others through all of these. Their are so many sick people in this world. Especially so many little children. There is so much to do for others. There is a friend of ours here who also had a Transplant for Lukemia and he his fighting a bad fungus in his brain at this time. He is not up to surgery at this time and the doctors are just trying to buy him some time. His name is Scott Holland and he is 26 years old. Please keep hiim in your prayers at this time. I know his family would really appreciate it. I will try to update again tomorrow after Taylor goes to the doctor and let you know how it goes. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Monday, November 05, 2001 at 05:47 PM (CST)

Hello!! We are all doing fine. Taylor had a great weekend with her daddy and brothers. She already wants to know when they are coming back. Her Daddy and Tyler took her to the park and she had a good time. Taylor had another great and quick day at the clinic. We brought some more of our famous cookies and it worked again. All of Taylor's bloodwork looked great. The doctor's continue to be pleased with her progress. She does not have to go back to the clinic until Thursday. I think we might start getting bored not having any place to go. I can't believe the time has gone by so fast. It is almost Thanksgiving and I still feel left back in Memorial Day when all of this started. I am so thankful we have come this far with so much success. This year we will have pleanty to be thankful for as we celebrate Thanksgiving. I still think we will be home for Thanksgiving. I have some new pictures of Taylor playing with her nurses from the BMT unit. She really enjoys going up to see her favorite nurses and playing with them. We plan on going up to see them tomorrow night for our entertainment. So if any of you nurses read this be ready. Taylor has her water gun ready for you. We will miss all the people we have grown to know since we got here. The nurses and doctors have been great to us. They will all hold a special place in our hearts. Love, Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, November 03, 2001 at 08:09 PM (CST)

Hello Again!! We have had a busy day. We went Apex to see the Mormon Temple there. It is always nice to go there. It gives me a very calm feeling. I guess I have been feeling a little down. Taylor is doing well but I can't help thinking about the negative sometimes. I feel guilty to think that way considering how well everything has gone. But, the thought of living with the fear of the Lukemia relapsing someday can be overwhelming sometimes. Taylor and me have grown so very close together over the past months. I know they say take one day at a time but I guess sometimes as a mother that is hard to do. The doctors say she is doing the very best she could be doing at this time. I guess I just want a gurantee and know one will give it to me. Well, so much for me being negative. I am truly thankful for all the blessing we have recieved. I do know that Taylor has been blessed. I am so thankful for how well she has responded to everything. Taylor had a great day with her family. She loves to spend time with them. In a couple of weeks we should be able to go home with them. That will be great. I have to admit it will be a little scary to me leaving all of the doctors here. I do feel a little safe here. The other scary thing about going home is I might actually have to cook our own Thanksgiving dinner. We are all spoiled going to Grandma's house. But, Taylor will not be able to be around all of the kids this year. I guess we will have to suffer with my cookiing this year and look forwad to Thanksgiving next year at Grandma's House. Thanks again for all the support and prayers. Continue to pray for us and I do feel Taylor will be ok. I will just have to be more positive and not let the negative get in my way. Love, Taylor's Mom

Saturday, November 03, 2001 at 10:54 AM (CST)

I just wanted to let you know everything was still doing well. Taylor's daddy and brothers are here and we are going to go to the park and do some things with her today. I will update this evening with some new pictures. Please continue with your prayers for her and through the power of prayer I know she will continue to be blessed. Taylor's Mom, Neena

Thursday, November 01, 2001 at 06:14 PM (CST)

Happy Halloween!! A little Late. Taylor had a great Halloween. She went around at the hospital and filled here wagon full. They had stations set up all around at the Children's Clinic. They had all kind of treats for the kids. She really had a lot of fun. Then later in the evening we went up to the hospital to see some of her nurses at the unit. She had a lot of fun passing out candy to them. Today we went to the clinic for her visit and everything was still going great. We were in and out in a record of 45 minutes. She is actually free until next Monday. The doctor says she looks great. I am amazed at the progress she has made. I think all of the doctors are too. I think they all enjoy her so much because she is truly one of the success stories you dream of. I can only hope and pray that the Lukemia does not return to her little body. I know that I will always have that fear in my life. This afternoon she went to the park with her Best Buddy Emily. She really had a good time. We played until she actually was wore out and wanted to go home. On the way home she said I am not tired but could hardly keep her eyes open. She still does not have all of her energy back yet. I would like to think all the people at Evans for the wonderful balloons. Taylor really enjoyed them. Love, Taylor's Mom

Tuesday, October 30, 2001 at 04:16 PM (CST)

Hello everyone!! Taylor has had a good day today. She was able to go to the clinic and be out in 2 1/2 hours. That was quick for us considering she had medication that took 2 hours. They said she is continuing to stay on the right track. We don't know if getting out quick had anything to do with the fact Taylor brought her doctor and nurses cookies. We told them yesterday that if they wanted cookies we wanted fast service. A little problem still with the blood pressure. She has been having headaches. They have decided to have her take the medication twice daily to see if that will help. After the clinic Nana and me went to paly with Taylor at the park. She had a good time. I think Nana Hancock could handle the see-saw better than Grandma Jones. Taylor is looking forward to tomorrow. She can't wait to get dressed up for Hallloween. It want be the same as being at home, but we are going to make sure she has a good time. First she does not have to go to the clinc. They gave her a day off. So we are going to take her up to the hospital to see all of her nurses. Then we are going to the clinic. Everyone dresses up. After that we are going to see her Best Buddy Emily. She is going to dress up also. I think Taylor will have a good time going around to the different places. They really try to do things for the kids so they don't miss out on anything.
Her daddy is coming down for the day also. I hope everyone has a great Halloween. Be safe and have fun. We continue to think of all of you daily. We are thankful for everything everyone has done for us and continues to do. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Sunday, October 28, 2001 at 06:10 PM (CST)

Well all is quite again. The gang is gone. Taylor was very sad to see them go this time. I felt sorry for her. I know she is really ready to go home. Hopefully, it will not be to long and she will be able to get in the car and go with them. The only problem is that we have so much stuff from being here so long. Terry is going to have to rent a U-Haul Trailer to get it all home. I guess when you set up another house that is just the way it goes. Her visit at the hospital went well today. Her blood pressure was okay. They have her on both medications right now. We are hoping they will drop one tomorrow. I just hope and pray she continues to stay on the same track and we can be home for Thanksgiving. Her birthday is December 5th and I know she wants to be home for that. She usually invites her cousins and friends and goes to Coleman's and rides all the stuff they have there for Christmas. She may not get to do that this year but, at least she could be home for her birthday. Taylor will not be able to go out much for 6 to 9 months. Their immune system takes a while to develope and start working like ours. It has been so long now since Taylor has been able to go out and do things like a normal little 4 year old girl. I just look forward to the day when she can go out without a mask on her face and be able to go and do the things she loves to do. You never know how much you take for granite until you are put in this type of situation. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Saturday, October 27, 2001 at 04:43 PM (CDT)

It is Saturday afternoon and Taylor has had a great day!! Unfortunately, we did not get the weekend off. Due to her Blood Pressure we still had to go to the hospital for a check. We also have to go tomorrow. But, whatever it takes to keep her healthy. She is on new medication and it will take a few days to get it straight. Yesterday she could not hardly wait for her daddy and brothers to get here. I never reliazed how much she missed them until they got here. She has been so excited to see them. She has not stopped playing. Also, her Aunt Bonnie and cousin Mikki came today. She has wore them out playing. I don't know if they will be able to stay awake to drive home tonite. It is amazing the energy she has after going through so much. I know she has truly been blessed. I also know if anyone deserves to be blessed it is her. She is such a sweet little girl with such a sweet spirit. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Friday, October 26, 2001 at 09:31 AM (CDT)

Hello Everyone!! It is Friday morning and we are preparing to go to the clinic again. Such an exciting life. It is not that the clinic is so bad it just takes so long. Taylor gets really bored sitting there and waiting. I just get really sleepy and tired of thinking of how to entertain her. Nothing new except yesterday they did start cutting down the steriods. Taylor is excited because her daddy and brothers are coming tonite. She want let her Grandma leave until they get here. Hopefully, this weekend we will not have to go to the hospital. This will be our first free weekend since we got here. I hope everyone is doing well and we think about our family and friends at home often. Taylor will be so glad to be back in her own house. Even if we do still have to go to the clinic at CHKD. Hope everyone has a great day!! Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Wednesday, October 24, 2001 at 08:30 PM (CDT)

Today was a good day for Taylor! We were only in the clinic for about 2 hours. Then we went to the park for a little while. I think I need Keri to come back and help out in the park department. Grandma and me can't seem to keep up with Taylor. Taylor and me made some cookies for her nurses today. We went up to the unit tonite and saw some of her nurses she really liked and brought them some cookies. Taylor really enjoyed seeing them. She also had a good time riding the Kit Kat Kar up and down the halls and running into them. Sorry Keri and Jennifer you missed a good time. Not to mention some good cookies. Taylor has started to eat a little now. They have cut her TPN down to 10 hours and have taken out some of the sugar. Hopefully, this will also help to get her appetite back. Eating is one of the many things necessary to get us home by Thanksgiving. It is amazing how well she is doing. All of the nurses and doctors seem to be amazed at her progress. I know her success is due to the many prayers offered in her behalf. I also know that is was her brother's strong healthy bone marrow that made the difference. I know that he has keep his body clean from bad things and that both him and Taylor were blessed for this. I also want to thank Beth again for all she did for our family. It is really costly being out here. There are so many things you need. I will be ever thankful and grateful for what you did Beth. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 06:44 PM (CDT)

Hello!! Okay people I am tired out here and alot of you have stop signing my guestbook. I look forward to reading what people have to say. Don't stop talking to me now. I know I am slow updating the web site sometime but it is alot of work taking care of Taylor out of the hospital. I didn't know it would be so busy when we got out. I need some nurses from 5200 to come on over and help me out. No pay of course just Taylor's and my company. What more could you ask for. Her visit went well today. The doctor said she looked great. Her Blood Pressure seems to be under control with medication at this time. I saw her primary doctor, Dr. Kurtzburg, on the way out and she said if Taylor continues on the same track we could possibly be home for Thanksgiving. We would have to come back more frequent at first but that would be ok. Grandma Jones is hanging in there this week but she is not much for the see-saw at the park. Our new address is 1324 White Pine Drive, Durham, NC 27705. Well I hope everyone is doing ok and we do appreciate all you have done for us. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Sunday, October 21, 2001 at 05:55 PM (CDT)

Well the news is in!! 100% MALE CELLS. It doesn't get any better than that. The test shows that all the cells growing in the bone marrow are male. Of course this can only mean one thing. They are Jonathan's not Taylor's. Now we just hope it remains that way for the next couple of years. Actually, I guess we hope it stays that way for the rest of her life. I know that Taylor has been blessed beyond what I every imagined in the beginning of all this. I also know that it is due to great medical care but, mostly it is due to the many prayers that have been offered in her behalf. I will never be able to repay everyone for all they have done for us. I just hope and pray that all of the other families in the unit can be blessed as Taylor has. Far as her current condition the throwing up has pretty much stopped. We are now dealing with high blood pressure. She has been ranging around 134 over 102. We spent Saturday and then Saturday night back in the hospital trying to get it under control. I guess that was not the Saturday Terry and the boys planned. But, as they say whatever it takes to get Taylor well. We had a little picnic in the room and watched movies while we waited so it was not to bad. Taylor was excited to see her Grandma today. She has made her sit on the couch and play with her ever since she got here. She can't move around alot because from 5 on she is plugged in getting all of her medicine. Good for us and bad for her. She can't wear us down but so much. Well I will do the best I can to get you updated but it is alot of work out of the hospital. Not a lot of time for resting. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Friday, October 19, 2001 at 09:24 PM (CDT)

Hello Everyone! Today has been another long day. Taylor woke me around 4:30, 5:30 and again at 6:30 throwing up. She has had a long hard day. This morning while giving her a bath she was crying because she said every where I touched hurt her. They tell me when the cells begin growing their bones will ache. That makes my heart ache for her. Taylor very rarely cries so when she does I know she must be feeling bad. Then we went to the clinic around 11:30 and left at 5:45. They added Zantac to her meds and I hope that will relieve her stomach pain. Today she had high blood pressure for the fist time also. Most of the kids do have High Blood Pressure, but for Taylor this was the first. Today is also our last day with our dear friend Keri. We will truly miss her. She has been a major help to me. I don't think the Grandma's are going to be able to take over in the medicine department quite as well. I guess they will just have to entertain Taylor while I get it all done by myself. I just want her to know how much we love and appreciate her. We do plan on seeing her next winter. Taylor wants to go to play in the snow for her Make a Wish. Well got to go and get ready for the dad and brothers to arrive again. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Thursday, October 18, 2001 at 07:59 PM (CDT)

Still hanging in there! Taylor is still having problems with diarrhea and throwing up. She went to the clinic today and we were in and out pretty quickly. We met with the new doctor in the group today. He seemed to be very pleasent. He feels Taylor is having a little GI GVHD (Graft Versus Host Disease). He started her on a very low dose of steroids. He feels this will help with her stomach problems. Steroids help reduce GVHD. Also, he is hoping this will increase her appetite and she will begin to eat. Taylor has not really eaten anything for about 4 weeks now. In Taylor's case a little GVHD is good for the Leukemia. But, too much can be a bad thing. We are still waiting on the results from the test to see if the cells growing are at least 90% or better Jonathan's. After the clinic Keri and I took Taylor to the park to play for a little while. She really enjoys being outside and playing on the see-saw, sliding and making Keri and me chase her around. It is going to be lonely around here next week when Keri goes home. Taylor is still not ready to release her but I think her mom will come and get her if we don't. Sorry about being slow with the journal entries. Being out is good but, it is also a lot more work. We have to give Taylor 6 medicines a day through her central lines. We start around 5pm and finish up around 9:30am. We also have to draw her blood each morning and drop it off at the clinic before we go. I just want our little special group of nurses at 5200 to know how much we miss you. I would rather have you wake me up in the middle of the night and take care of things yourself. So anytime you get bored let me know and you can come over and help. Traci that includes you too. Sadly enough another little girl in the unit is having some very serious problems at this time. Her name is Morgan and I know her mother would greatly appreciate your prayers for her. I am so thankful for everyone who has prayed for Taylor and who still continues to pray for her. Please don't forget about us. We have such a journey still ahead of us to get through this. I will be so thankful when Taylor can once again be able to enjoy life like a normal little girl. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Tuesday, October 16, 2001 at 09:15 PM (CDT)

Hello from the Apartment!! WBC 9.5. We finally made it here. Taylor really had a rough morning. Unfortunately, she did not have a very good day. A lot of throwing up and diarehea. Also, she had headaches today. I told them they should have let us go yesterday so she would have been a more pleasant patient at the time of discharge. When she left however, she did put on a smile when all of her friends and nurses were there to send her off with confetti and cheers. It was a moment I had looked forward to since the day we first arrived here. I know we still have a long way to go but this one hurdle is over. The doctor informed us today that they had sent out the test to determine how many of the cells in Taylor's blood were Jonathan's and how many may still be hers. Please pray for us especially the next couple of days that this test will come back positive and that it will be her brothers cells growing and not hers. Waiting on this test is not one of my favorite things to do. We have also found that going to the apartment is not going to be easy and most definately not any more sleep. The Home Health Nurse showed up to teach Keri and Me all of our new duties. It took us about 3 hours to go over all of them. Taylor will be hooked up to one pump 24 hours a day for the next 8 days. She also will be hooked up to several every evening. So needless to say here freedom is not completely back just because we are home. It takes at least two people just to get her to the bathroom. I hope the Grandma's are prepared to work when they return. I have updated our phone number and address for anyone who may still want to send Taylor cards. Also, today another little boy in the clinic found out that his leukemia had returned and the transplant was not successful. This kind of news is really hard to hear and makes you feel all sort of things. It is really hard to understand things that happen. I can only hope and pray that we do not have to deal with anything like this. Please remember this little boy and his family in your prayers also. His name is Mauricio. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Monday, October 15, 2001 at 10:10 PM (CDT)

Well here we are Monday night just sitting here in the hospital. That is right we didn't get out today, but have very high hopes of getting out tomorrow.The Doctor just wanted to observe her for one more day. Her white blood cell count was 8.5 today and she is doing very well. She is even starting to eat again! She is up to one potato chip per day and she is very proud of that. She also got another pass today and got to play outside at the playground.
She has been very nice to us the last couple of days so those nice girl cells must be growing finally.
They have really cut back on all of the medicines, but she will still be taking a lot of them . All but one will be given to her through the IV, which we will give her at home. We found out today that she will take one by mouth. We were not to excited and told them that they must not understand the challange that they just gave us, but we will do whatever it takes to get her better. Now we just need to convince Taylor that it is worth it. If you can't tell she doesn't like to take medicine orally.
We will let ya all know what happens tomorrow. Love Taylor's mom, Neena and Taylor's friend Keri

Sunday, October 14, 2001 at 01:18 AM (CDT)

Well we had a great day with Taylor today. Her white blood count is still climbing today it was at 4.2. We are very excited to see that number continue to rise. I t really make us thank our Father in Heaven for all the blessings that he gives us.
Taylor had a pretty exciting day today because she got to leave her room and not only did she get to leave her room, but she got to leave the hospital!!! She was so excited. She had to wear her big mask and we couldn't see the smile, but I could tell that she was happy because I was holding her and the closer we got to the door the tighter her legs got around my waist. It was so cute. So she got to leave for 4 hours and got to spend quality time with her Family. Needless to say when it was time to go back she told us that she only wanted another hour to play. I am sure it felt so good to run and be free for a while. She will also get another pass tomorrow. Taylor has really done well through this whole thing. She is such a special little girl and has a very special place in my heart as well as I'm sure she does in all of yours.
As of today we are still looking at Monday to be out of the hospital, we are just praying that no fevers or anything else pops up. It will be so nice for Taylor and Neena to have a little more space. Although I think that all of the nurses will be greatly missed. I know that Taylor will miss pushing that call button.
We have had some educational days, they are teaching us how to use the pumps and equipment that Taylor will need once she leaves the hospital.
Thank you again for all of the prayers, support, emails, letters, packages they all have a great impact.May the blessings continue coming. Love, Taylor's friens- Keri

Friday, October 12, 2001 at 10:36 PM (CDT)

Well we hope tomorrow is going to be a big day for Taylor. If there are no fevers tonite we will get out of here for a little while tomorrow. We can't go pass 38.5c and we are hanging aroung 38c now. That is her temperature of course in hospital language. Today our ANC was 2550 and WBC was 3.5. Taylor's count has not been that high since whe started this whole thing back in June. I know that the Lord has blessed her tremendously. I can only hope and pray that she continues to recover and that no relapse occurs. Also, please remember all the little children up here in this unit. There are so many sick children up here at this time. One of the little boys passed away Wednesday morning and that was hard on all the parents up here. It is really hard to understand why little children suffer so much when they are so innocent. I just hope and pray each and every day that Taylor will not suffer and will be made well through our faith in the Lord. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Thursday, October 11, 2001 at 09:19 PM (CDT)

Today the White Blood Cell Count is 2.5 and steadly climbing. Her ANC is now at 1600. We are steadly improving everyday. This weekend we are hoping that Taylor will get out of the hosptial on a 2-4 hour pass. It will be great for her to get outside and get to move around again. She is very excited at the possibility. Today Taylor finally got to meet her Best Buddy. Her name was Emily. I think Taylor will really enjoy her company. Tomorrow all of the family will be down again to spend time with Taylor. She really misses Jonathan. I think they have a special connection now. Thanks to everyone for the many cards and packages Taylor has received. She really enjoys them. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Wednesday, October 10, 2001 at 06:34 PM (CDT)

We have more great news today. Taylor's WBC is 1.8. Her ANC is 800. We are really moving right along. Her mean boy cells continue to come out daily. The rash on her body has really started to fade away. The past two days her nurse has unhooked her for about 30 minutes and gave her the opportunity to run around the room. She doesn't have far to run but she really enjoys it. Thanks a bunch Melanie for the Blo Pens they are great for her. She really likes them and they are great for her lungs. Also, thanks to the Taylor family from Idaho and the young women she really enjoyed getting the packages. She is wearing her CTR ring around her neck. The doctor still plans on Taylor leaving the hospital this coming Monday. We are very excited about that. Twenty-four days in the hospital is long enough when you are stuck in such a small space. We still will have to spend many days in the clinic but it will be nice to go to our own place in the evening. Thanks once again to all the many people who have helped our family in so many ways. A special thanks to Dad Taylor for letting us keep Keri a little longer. She is good for Taylor and me. Please continue to keep a prayer in your heart for Taylor and I know she will be healed. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Monday, October 08, 2001 at 09:45 PM (CDT)

Well here it is!! The prayers are paying off like I know they would. Taylor is 0.8 today with an ANC of 417. She has had a great rash and fevers which indicate GVHD and that is great for Taylor. GVHD helps to fight off any remaing Lukemia cells in her body. The doctors are shooting for Monday to let her out of the hospital. She might just beat the record getting out of here. Of course we are still looking at December 1 as a going home to VA date. It would be great to be out of the hopsital again. I know we still have a long road ahead of us but with the continued prayers and faith of everyone Taylor can and will make it. For the Taylor's in Idaho we can't let Keri go. If you want her you will just have to come and get her. Me and Taylor just love having her here. Thanks so much for making it possible for her to be here with us. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Sunday, October 07, 2001 at 02:16 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone!!! This is Keri, Taylors friend from Idaho. It has been great being out here visiting with Taylor and Neena. They both are doing great. Taylor's cell are still growing. They told us this morning that the count is up to 0.7!!! One side effect of the cells growing is a rash and she does have that all over her little body, but she doesn't seem to be suffering to bad from it and the Doctors do say that the rash is normal. The fever has been down, the last temp taken was 99.8. We are pretty excited. Taylor got lucky last night because her Daddy came up and stayed the night with her. Taylor really is doing well and believe you me she has more energy to out run us all and she loves to play, so in the mean time we will try to keep up with her.
We want to thank everyone for all of the prayers and support. Love Neena and Keri

Friday, October 05, 2001 at 03:20 PM (CDT)

Well folks here we go!! When I woke up Taylor's nurse had hung a sign at my bed which read "WBC 0.2". That means Taylor has started engraftment. Her cells are growning!! Now we just have to sit back and watch the cells grow. She has a fever this afternoon of 103 and a rash on her face but that is another sign of the cells beginning to grow. This morning she woke up at 7 and played until 2. Thanks to everyone who has sent Taylor gifts and cards she really likes getting the mail. Well keep the prayers going it looks like we are on the right track. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Thursday, October 04, 2001 at 08:45 PM (CDT)

Hello! Taylor is a little better today! Her fever got up to 105.8 this morning and that was just to high for my comfort. Finally this afternoon it started coming down. She sleep until around 2:00pm and when she finally woke up she got up and started playing. Mama and Aunt Opal were with her this afternoon and I actually got to go to the movie with my cousin Grace. It was fun. I did feel a little guilty. Taylor had fun playing with one of her nurses also this afternoon. She really likes alot of her nurses here. We have been lucky and have gotten the best ones up here. The doctor said everything was still looking good. He will not be back until Monday and said he expects to see cells when he returns. We can only hope so. It is about bedtime now and she still has a temperature of about 102 but I can handle that. I want Rhonda and Shelby to know she really appreciated her packages this morning. Her fever was over 105 when she got it and she sat right up and opened her present the minute it came in the room. We also appreciate the cards we received today. Thanks a bunch. Taylor's Mom, Neena

Wednesday, October 03, 2001 at 06:49 PM (CDT)

Hello Everyone! Today has been another one of those days. Taylor has been running a fever around 104 all day. She has been really down. She is on about 4 different antibiotics and IVIG which helps her fight off infections also. They did a chest x-ray today and it still looked good. It has been a real challenge to get any tylenol in her for the fever, so that has made it alot worst. We were very fortunate to have a friend of ours from home, Bro. Holland, to come down and give her a blessing. His son is in the BMT Unit for adults upstairs. It was really nice to be able to call him this morning and have him come and do that for Taylor. It seems there is always some one around when you need them most. The doctor came in this afternoon and said it is possible her fever is coming from the new cells beginning to grow. That would be wonderful!! She said they could start showing up as early as day 10 and we are now on day 7. All we can say is Grow
Cells Grow!!! Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Tuesday, October 02, 2001 at 06:05 PM (CDT)

Hello Again! I guess we are getting use to being closed in but we still don't like it. The doctor sayed unfortunately she will be isolated to her room until she leaves the hospital. I went out today and bought her plenty of arts and crafts (her favorite thing) so we could keep her entertained. Taylor has been running a low grade fever on and off all day. Also, she has thrown up a couple of times today. She will be playing and then it just hits her. Her little bit of hair has begun to fall out also. I know she did not have much but we really hate to see it go again. They say it might be red like Jonathan's this time. I guess that will be ok. I always wanted a red headed little girl. The doctor is still pleased with her progress so far. He said the cold was under control now but we just needed to keep a close eye on it. Her new cells should begin to grow in about another week. That will be great because that will help her fight anything that might happen along the way. We are very fortunate to have a very dear friend of mine and Taylor's be able to come stay with us. Our friend Keri Taylor is coming all the way from Idaho just to spend some time with us. We are really looking forward to her visit. I hope she is ready to play a whole lot. Taylor does not let us rest to much around here. She has been lucky to have her grandma's here with her this week. Tomorrow her Aunt Opal and cousin Grace are coming for a couple of days also. It is really nice to have company when you are so far away from home and stuck in a hospital. Continue to pray for Taylor and I know she will pull through this. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Monday, October 01, 2001 at 04:01 PM (CDT)

Nothing serious but today has turned out to be very disappointing. Taylor has a type of head cold and has been put on isolation. She is not allowed out of her room. This is very disappointing for her and me. She really enjoyed walking up and down the hall, playing in the parent lounge, and going to the cell mates group they had for the kids. Far as the cold goes it shouldn't be anything to serious. The doctor sayed it is the type that generally stays in your head only. We just have to continue to pray that is doesn't move to her lungs and become serious to her in any way. I know she must hate being stuck in this small room. I feel stuck and I can go out. If I go out I have to wear a gown, mask, and gloves everytime I leave the room. But, I guess that is minor to being stuck in here all day and night. Please send Taylor a card or something so she can enjoy getting some mail and have something to look forward to. I would really appreciate it if you would. You just don't know how disappointing this is to me. It really makes me feel awful for her to be stuck like this. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Saturday, September 29, 2001 at 08:10 PM (CDT)

Hello! Everything is going okay here today. Taylor continues with the mouth sores and has needed morphine a few times today. She has slowed down a whole lot. She also had a fever of 101.8 this evening. Now they begin antibiotics and start looking to see if any infections are going on. Usually, the temperature is due to such low counts. She is negative 0.1 white blood cells. When that number begins to go up we will know that her new cells are beginning to grow. The doctors say that usually happens between day 12 and 14 after transplant. Jonathan still remains a little sore. Hopefully, he will be already to begin school on Monday. I would like to thank Beth once again for all she did in raising the money for Taylor's Trust Fund. It really takes a huge burden off our shoulders not having to worry about how we will pay for all the expenses tha occur from being away from home so long. There are so many sick children here. I just can't believe we are here and my daughter is one of them. Sometimes it just seems like a big dream. I know I have become aware of so much more since she has been sick. I never reliazed there were so many sick children in this world. I just hope and pray that Taylor is healed and many people will grow from her expereince and see how miracles do happen through the power of faith and prayer of many. I know that our Heavenly Father lives and hears everyones prayers and does have a loving heart. He cares for us and doesn't want us to suffer. I do feel in my heart he will heal my daughter and we all will grow closer to him through this experience. I just hope and pray she doesn't have to suffer to much pain through this experience. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena P.S. I really do enjoy reading everyone's entries in the guestbook. Please keep it up!

Friday, September 28, 2001 at 07:43 PM (CDT)

Hello! Check out the photos the last one is new. I have started this 3 times and keep getting cut off. I am going to give it one more try. Taylor has been a little slow today. She has started getting mouth sores. They have given her morphine a couple of times today for the pain. I really hate to see her slow down. As much as I might enjoy the break from playing I would rather her be her busy self. She is really a strong little girl and I do feel everything will be okay for her. She had a couple of test done two weeks ago to see if the Philadelphia Chromsome was present. One of them came back today and it was negative. The other test is the one we really want to be negative. They count a million cells to see if it is still present. The doctors say if that one comes back negative that is a really good sign for her recovery. Jonathan is still hanging in there. He says don't forget about him yet. He is still in quite a bit of pain. He can't even bend over to put his pants on yet. I will miss him when he goes home. Even thou he was expensive to feed I liked having him here and so did Taylor. It is nice having Layne and Tyler here this weekend also. Well continue to pray for Taylor and Jonathan too. We really appreciate all the support and prayers that are out there on our behalf. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Thursday, September 27, 2001 at 08:00 PM (CDT)

Hello Again!! Check out the new Photos!! We are still hanging in there. Taylor has had a pretty good day. A little slower but still going. A few mouth sores now but nothing to bad. Her Grandma's and Daddy left today. I am here with her and her brothers. They did not want to go home. I am not sure if they wanted to be with me and Taylor or if they just did not want to go home with their Dad and be put to work. I have to say I feel a little anxious with all my adult support gone. It really is great having them here. In this situation having people near you sure helps deal with what is going on around you. I will be glad when the grandma's return on Sunday so I can rest a little easier. Taylor is busy right now giving one of her baby dolls new bone marrow. She has her original bone marrow bag and is working hard on them. She said tell everyone it is not her bone marrow. Well now we just sit and wait for her cells to begin to grow and hope and pray that nothing bad happens during the whole process. Most of all if their is any lukemia left in her body we hope and pray that Jonathan's bone marrow will kill it off. The doctor's told us last night that after testing Jonathan's marrow it was very rich, strong, and healthy. I know that is due to the fact Jonathan lives a clean life and has not abused his body with unclean things such as drugs and smoking. I am so thankful for him and that he has taking care of his body and not abused it in any way. I sure appreciate all of the people who have signed our guestbook and took the time to keep up with our progress. It really helps knowing that there are people out there who care about you. We love all of you and hope you continue to keep us in your prayers and may the Lord bless all of you daily. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Wednesday, September 26, 2001 at 10:42 AM (CDT)

Hello all! It is Wednesday morning and Jonathan is out of surgery and in pain. Taylor was glad he was out because she had Ashley to her self. The transplant is schedule for 2:00pm. Layne is busy decorating the room for the occasion and Tyler is playing with Taylor. We are all very anxious waiting for the big moment. Taylor is still going strong. Her grandma spent the night with her so I could go with Jonathan this morning. She said Taylor stayed up until 11 and was up at 7. Well I will let you know about the transplant as soon as possible. Talk to you later. Taylor's mom Neena

Tuesday, September 25, 2001 at 09:25 AM (CDT)

All is still well this morning. I did not get to the computer yesterday, but Taylor had a good day again. She has really begin to slow down on her eating. Yesterday I think the only thing she ate was some bread sticks from Dominioes. They changed her lines yesterday and she had about 15 minutes of freedom from the pole. She rode the Kit Kar up and down the hallway about 20 times. She is a good driver. I guess it just runs in the family. Today is her day of rest. No medicine for her. Her Aunt Opal, Aunt Jean, Aunt Sally, and cousin Grace are all coming in today to see her and I know she will enjoy that. Tomorrow is the big day so please once again keep her and Jonathan in your prayers and I know thru the power of prayer and faith of many that she will be healed. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Sunday, September 23, 2001 at 02:23 PM (CDT)

Hello everyone!! Taylor is doing great today. She woke right up this morning and wanted to begin playing her game operation that her bubbie Layne brought her. She makes you put on gloves and wear a mask while playing. She had her cousin Chad and Needham play with her for a little while today. We were glad they all came to see her. She enjoys having the company and we enjoy having others to help play with her. Another round of chemo today and all still seems to be going well. She has not been eating as much but that is the only problem she has right now. Continue to pray for her as the big week is just ahead. Also, remeber the big donor "Jonathan" because he is really getting bored with the whole thing. He even wants to go back to school. Who believes that one! Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Sunday, September 23, 2001

Today all is still well with Taylor. We are at the hotel making a cake for Tyler's Birthday in our little toaster oven. We are going to take it up to Taylor's room and have a little party for Tyler. Today she played her operation game with her cousins Chad and Needham. She does enjoy company. She already wanted to go home last night and we have not even began to start the countdown yet. Her daddy and bubbies are going home today and they do not want to leave her nor does she want them to leave. Fortunately, they will all be back on Tuesday evening to get ready for the big day on Wednesday. So for now all is well with Taylor and we continue to pray that it will stay that way. Love Taylor's Mom Neena

Saturday, September 22, 2001 at 08:01 PM (CDT)

This is Taylor's Aunt Jacque. I have come from Portsmouth to visit my beautiful niece. We had a great time performing surgery on our noisy patient with Taylor's new "Operation" game which was a gift from her bubbie Layne. She looked cozy in her hospital bed in her purple pajamas with her little purple teddy bear blanket which her grandma gave her (purple is her favorite color you know!). I sat with Taylor while her parents went to dinner with the rest of her family to celebrate her bubbie Tyler's birthday. She knew exactly how to call the nurse and adjust her bed or help with anything that came up while we were alone together. She is a smart cookie. Her mom said to let everyone know that she had her first round of chemo today and handled everything very well. Also, the physical therapist said that they would stop by to make a weekly check with her, but judging her ACTIVITY level, they did not think they would have to do very much!

Friday, September 21, 2001 at 07:31 PM

We have finally checked in for the Big Event! Taylor arrived here today full of energy. The doctor who checked her in was pleased and said she was doing outstanding for someone who had just finished a week of radiation. I know she is doing great because of all the prayers that are out there just for her. You will never know how much that means to us. She rode up and down the little hallway on a Kit Kar until they finally caught her and hooked her up to the IV Pump. She has now fallen asleep and looks so innocent. I just hope she continues to do well and does not have to suffer many serious side effects. She is just to sweet and innocent for that. Please continue to keep her in your prayers as well as her brother Jonathan who will be donating his marrow (her new life) on Wednesday the 26th. Love Taylor's Mom, Neena

Friday, September 21, 2001 at 07:07 PM (CDT)

This page has just been created. Please check back for additional updates.

Click here to go back to the main page.

----End of History----