|
||||||||||||
Click here to go back to the main page.
Monday, December 4, 2006 10:22 AM CST
December 4, 2006
Dear Friends & Family,
I come to this journal today with such mixed emotions. I’ve wanted to write so many times but something always held me back. I’ve written pages and pages in my mind over the months usually in the middle of the night, but then when morning breaks, I find a reason to resist posting my thoughts. But today I’m ready. Not sure why, but I am.
What I’m about to say is so incredibly scary for me. But here goes......WE ARE JUST AWESOME!
Saying those words out loud bring on an anxiety I can barely handle. The very thought of anymore cancer in my family can be all consuming at times and declaring a “victory” if you will, tempts fate. I can’t jinx us.
For those who have been hurt or angered by me not posting, please understand this journal was originated as a legacy for Sam and our family. First and foremost, that was it’s purpose. I will never be able to express my gratitude for all of you who have followed our journey through cancer and have supported us. Our hearts are so full of emotion towards you. We are truly humbled and grateful beyond words.
Several times each week a brief snippet in time will come to mind of Sam’s battle. I never know when it will materialize in my mind, but it always does. Sometimes, such as just this morning, Sam will say something that just shocks me. I feel as time progresses his memories are fading, yet then he just sideswipes me. This morning as the kids were putting on their jackets, Ethan made a comment about being fat. I told him he never has been fat and Sam commented that he had. I rejected his comment and he reminded me when he was on steroids he was fat. In that instant, I saw his bloated face and body in my mind and couldn’t resist a warm embrace with that little guy.
So much has happened in our lives over the past 5 months since I last posted. Dennis and I spent my 43rd birthday in Napa and had such a special and beautiful retreat. We stayed at simply the most irresistible B&B called The Poetry Inn. Our room (nestled way up in the mountains) overlooked the entire Silverado Trail. In the mornings as the fog was dense, we would bundle up in robes and blankets and have our gourmet breakfast on the deck. Heaven truly Heaven!
The boys are full fledged Kindergartners! Ethan had a rocky start with all the structure but quickly found his groove. Sam just went head first and has never looked back. Ethan could hardly hold a pencil in August and now his handwriting is better than Sam’s. Ethan’s school spends a great deal of time each day focussing on fine motor skills. Each and every time I’m in his school a teacher or an administrator will comment on what a great kid Ethan is. They think he’s such a character and he really is. He just cracks everyone up.
Sam loves learning. That would be the best way to describe him. He has shown a genuine interest in his Judaic studies and has embraced Hebrew quite easily. His teachers say they can count on him turning his work last. Every assignment.....last. He’s very focussed on the details and seems to be a bit of a perfectionist. Some might think that’s a good thing, but we’re working with him to understand, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Just put your best effort into it. I think being a perfectionist, especially at such a young age, is a really difficult way to live. That trait comes from his Daddy. We have really honed in on Sam’s interests. He’ll never be the athletic kid, that’s just not him. His interests involve art, science and music. He takes an art class once weekly, piano lessons once weekly and stays at school for a science class once weekly. He’s actually going to perform in his first recital at the JCC this month where he’ll be playing Old Macdonald. Kind of cracks me up, but he’s really taken to it and gets it. He loves experiments and discussing hypothesis. Had you even heard of that word at 6? Not me.
Six! Oh, that’s right. The boys turned 6 on November 7th. They had a big party at a great place called The Plano Clubhouse for Kids. We had approximately 50 kids, 2 party rooms and there was something for everyone to do. Rock climbing, indoor play set and even a room with arcade-type games. Cheryl who is the Heroes for Children Office Manager made their cakes. Oh my goodness, were they fabulous!!!!!!!!! Ethan’s was a huge Power Ranger and Sam’s was an artist’s palate. Once again, we requested no gifts but rather donations be made to HFC. I believe approximately $800 was donated. Naturally, the kids did receive some gifts.....just enough, not too much.
We also have a new member to our family. I needed to even out the gender score so we now have a Shi-Poo (shizu/toy poodle) and her name is Spot. She doesn’t know that’s her name as we always call her little bit or boo-boo baby. This is a funny story. One Saturday morning in September, Sam decided he REALLY needed a turtle. I called around and found a pet store in Frisco that actually carried turtles. Dennis was working so we ventured out. Once we arrived and looked at those cute little turtles (remember the ones we all had as kids that lived in a plastic bowl?), well one of the sales girls mentioned that they get enormous. Huh? I remember them being tiny. So anyway, that negated the turtle. Ethan fell in love with this little teeny tiny puppy. Yes, this is a pet store that carries dogs. After spending 30 minutes with her, we called Daddy to come take a look. Long story short, Spot found a new home later that afternoon. She happens to be the most precious little thing you’ve ever seen. Yes, she was an impulse and a quite costly one at that, but we bought her for Ethan. That was the original thought, however, now the kids and I literally fight over her. The funniest thing really is that we named her Spot before Dennis showed up. That was a bit of a manipulative maneuver because I knew he had always wanted a dog named Spot and probably wouldn’t be able to resist her. Now, he even adores her. She was “potty trained” really early on and rarely has any indoor accidents. Now for the best part.....Jaffie. It took about 3-4 days before we’d let Jaffie around her unsupervised. Jaffie is very aggressive towards other dogs. Little bit on the other hand couldn’t get enough of Jaffie. And to this day, she drives Jaffie bonkers. She follows her around like a big sister. She bites her tail and then Jaffie will literally swing her around until she’s airborne. Oh my gosh, it’s just hysterical!
November brought about a new set of issues for the Eisenberg’s as Dennis’ father began experiencing horrific pain in his neck. He has degenerative disc disease and had a terrible flare-up. Basically the entire month was spent on keeping him medicated, but not too much, doctors appointments, shots in his neck, hiring live in help, firing live in help and Melissa coming in and out of town to help and oversee his care. Remember, Dennis’ mom has MS and has been wheelchair bound for 30 years. Also, they’re both 87. We even tried to get her to move in here for a while to ease up his responsibility of caring for her while trying to deal with his own health. Naturally, that didn’t happen. We had a small group for Thanksgiving here and the food was fabulous!!!!!
That brings us almost current. I’ve completed the tedious task of Hanukkah/Christmas shopping. Like last year, I did 99 percent of my shopping either online or via phone (catalogs). Yesterday, I spent a couple of hours wrapping everything and that feels great to have it behind me. Plans are being made for New Years and then we’re gearing up for 2007.
January will mark Dennis’ 45th birthday and our 10 year anniversary. We’re heading to The Bahamas for a few days of reconnect time and R&R. In February, we’re meeting our good friends in Colorado and taking the kids on their first sky trip to Breckenridge. They just can’t wait....constantly talking about it.
The boys are really amazing little people. Each and everyday they make us laugh and sometimes cry. Speaking of crying, I had my feelings hurt a couple of weeks ago and shed a few tears, something I rarely do in front of them. Ethan ran to the bathroom and brought me one square of toilet paper to help. Is that the most precious thing? The kids are best of friends and at times the worst of enemies. They can play together for hours then want to wrestle until there’s bloodshed. I’ve really learned that we have to respect them. Respect their opinions, ideas and desires. They’re not treated like children but like people. We are constantly instilling the concept of truthfulness, thoughtfulness, generosity and being a mensch. They totally “get” it. Dennis & I couldn’t be more proud of how they’re growing up. They are a true reflection of genuine goodness.
As I end this update I must share with you why I have such mixed emotions. I believe this will be my last posting. I’m ready to move forward 100 percent and that entails closing this chapter. Sam’s diagnosis was a horrific thing yet his diagnosis made a difference on so many levels of our life. It brought some (not all) members of our family closer together. I’ll never be able to say enough about my Aunt Sue in California and Melissa, my sister in law, in California who dropped their lives to take care of ours. To my closest friends, Kristin, Karla, Judy, Lauren, Andrea, Priscilla, Faith, and the list goes on and on. They were here for us from the moment we got the news until today. They created this web site thanks to my sister Jamie making us aware of Caringbridge, to organizing food delivery twice daily to the hospital to doing the research we so desperately needed in order to feel like we were in the best of hands. To you girls what can I possibly say? If ever, if ever, if ever, if ever......I am there for you. We have been blessed by so many strangers and cyber friends. You all provided the love, support and prayers we so desperately needed to get through such a horrific situation.
Someday, I would love to see this journal published. That would definitely be a dream.
Please take care of yourselves and cherish your little ones. We’ve all learned how quick it can be taken away.
All my love,
Dana (Mommy) and family
Thursday, July 27, 2006 4:59 PM CDT
July 27, 2006
12:34pm
Dear Friends & Family,
WOW! It’s been a while since I last posted. The summer is simply flying by. I can’t believe how much fun we’ve had and school is just around the corner.
I’m sitting in the waiting area of Kidnetworks which is where Ethan comes for OT (fine motor) and thought what a perfect opportunity to update everyone on our summer fun. I brought my calendar with me so I’ll give you the monthly update.
July 1st we attended quite the soiree! It was Jill Tanenbaum’s 40th birthday bash/end of chemo party. One year ago Jill discovered a large tumor and would soon learn it was indeed malignant. She also had lymph node activity. My cousin Angela and Jill are good friends and Angela asked me to make contact with her to discuss “the what to expect” kind of stuff. Jill and I spent a long time on the phone that day and soon became online buddies. She went through 8 (I believe) rounds of chemo, 35 radiation treatments and then a double mastectomy along with oophrectomy (removal of ovaries). Now all of this is from my memory and I might have some of the details wrong. Anyway, she kept a caringbridge site and always had the greatest posts. I just loved reading her writings. She is very well known in Dallas and has an enormous support system. She always had someone with her during her treatments and even had a special mystery person who would deliver various and sundry items anonomously to her door step. She’s now on the “other side” of treatment and threw herself one of the most fabulous parties. The party was slated for outdoors with lots of tents set up, etc. Naturally, it hadn’t rained in weeks and weeks in Dallas until that night. Soon after the party got started the skies opened up and down the torrential rains came. Oy Vey, what a mess. Anyway, people retreated inside and some were brave enough to stay under the tents where the food and beverages were still flowing pretty steady. The party turned out to be a total blast and there must have been 250-300 people there. Dennis & I felt quite honored to have been invited especially since I had never laid eyes on her. Jill, we’re all so proud of the courage you demonstrated while maintaining your wit. We love you!
Onto the 4th of July. On that same Saturday, we started what would become the never ending 4th of July celebration. Our neighborhood has an annual 4th parade and little party with popsicles at the end of the parade route. All the kids had their battery operated cars, scooters, bikes and so forth decked out for the occasion. One of the highlights is always the off dute firemen bring a fire truck for the kids to check out. That morning it was hot and extremely humid one. We were all drenched by the time we got home. Nothing that a quick dip in the pool couldn’t fix.
On the 3rd of July we once again ventured out to the Jewish Family Services parking lot to view the fireworks display from Addison’s Kaboom Town. Unfortunately, just minutes before they were to launch another tremendous down pour occurred. Once again, we all ran for cover and finally were able to retreat back to the street just in time to catch the majority of the show. The biggest downer was that they decided to not launch the grand finale. Hello? That’s the whole point of Kaboom Town. Anyway the kids had fun and were exhausted by the end of that night. Then the following day July 4th we attended the annual Jacoby/Kane party and had a great time. This year instead of staying in the Jacoby’s backyard to watch Glen Eagles fireworks display, we hightailed it over to the Monier’s. This is one of Dennis’ partners and backs up to Northwood Hills Golf Club. We literally walked onto the golf course, sat down and were about 100 ft. from where they launched. The kids oohed and ahead. They couldn’t believe how fabulous the fireworks were and how close we were to them.
On July 5th I had minor procedure done. When a woman takes Tamoxifen (a drug that keeps breast cancer at bay, taken for 5 yrs) one of the concerns is endometrial cancer. I had been having some abnormal bleeding and my ob/gyn wanted to take a look, do a D&C and Hysteroscopy to obtain endometrial biopsies. The procedure was quick and completely painless (under anesthesia) and I had no problem bouncing right back. The most important bit of news is that all biopsies came back negative. Whew!
On July 7th, Ethan had a play date with a boy who will be in his new Kindergarten class. Max and Ethan will be the only 2 jewish boys in this class of 8. The boys had a great time getting to know each other in the pool. Ethan just can’t wait for school to start.
On July 11th, the most amazing thing happened. Andrew Scott (baby Allie’s daddy) had his bone marrow harvested at Medical City Hospital by Dr. Berryman and none of other than everyone’s favorite Dr. Stan Goldman (one of Sam’s oncologists). Andrew was notified a few weeks prior that his bone marrow had come up as a possible match for a 9yr old little boy with Neuroblastoma. After more testing, it was determined not only was it a match but as perfect a match as Ethan’s was for Sam. Talk about full circle! Simply amazing and such a miracle.
On July 15th, the boys and I left for Vail. Dennis took the whole week off from work and just did his own thing. First time in his life I think! I can’t say enough about Vail in the summer. It was absolutely my #1 favorite vacation of all times. I know I say that after each vacation, but I swear this one was so great on so many levels. First, we beat the 106 degree weather in Dallas that week. Denver and Vail were having a heat wave and Vail was, on some days, around the low 90’s. However, with zero percent humidity, it was totally pleasant. As you know from previous postings, Kristin had rented a 3 bedroom condo for the summer and invited various friends and family to come and go. Her condo was perfectly located.....what a dream. We literally walked almost everywhere. We were rarely in the car. We were only a 10 minute walk to Vail Village which we went to once or twice each day. We were 5 minuets from the Betty Ford Amphitheater and only a few minutes away from several parks. There were kids everywhere and the boys made friends wherever they went. They spent 2 of the 7 days in an Eco Camp and had a blast! Kristin and I took 2 really good hikes and had the best time chatting over wine in the evenings. I could go on and on but one notable quote from Sam while frolicking at the Amphitheater as the free concert was in progress, “This is a dream come true. Freedom!” I honestly have no idea what that truly means to Sam but Kristin really believes that child is an old soul. With just hearing those words, I told Dennis I’d love to go back next summer for a month. He’s heard me say these words repeatedly over the last few weeks and has neither confirmed nor denied this request. We’ll see.....
This week, both kids have participated in a 1.5 hour OT Kindergarten class. Seventy-five percent of the time they work on fine motor (hand writing) which Ethan really needs and other twenty-five percent is spent on gross that Sam can benefit from. Today is the last day. Next week the kids finally split up. They will each attend a half day camp; Sam at a Kid’s Cooking Camp and Ethan at Preston Hollow (his new school) for a sports camp. Then the following week Sam goes to an Art camp while Ethan goes to a gymnastics camp.
This past Saturday Dennis’ proudest moment occurred. He taught both kids to ride a two wheeler without training wheels. Up until this point both kids were completely afraid of the whole idea and were determined to put it off until they turn 6. Somehow, someway, Dennis persuaded Sam to give it a try and what do you know, he rode down the long sidewalk time and time again. He always wanted Daddy close by but what a courageous step for him. Immediately after seeing and hearing Dennis’ reaction Ethan was ready to give it a try. Long story short, we videotaped the heck out of those kids last weekend. Here’s a hint: we bought the boys razors (little scooters) a few weeks prior and since they mastered the whole balance gig on those, the bikes were quite easy. Now I will say, Sam hasn’t been on the bike since Sunday and is afraid again, but Ethan can now take off on his own without any assistance, turn conners and just flies on that bike. It really is one of the greatest moments in Dennis’ adult life. We immediately loaded the bikes and took them over for Grandma & Grandpa to see and boy were they proud also.
Being the type A that I am (actually someone recently called me triple A), I’m completely ready for school. I’ve washed all uniforms, ironed on name tags, purchased new backpacks & lunch boxes as well as new sneakers. Yesterday, Elvia and I spent the entire morning separating out the kids old closet into their own. I separated the boys physically months and months ago but never did the closest. I sat down with the kids and with a sharpie placed either a “S” or an “E” on each and every tag. The boys decided which shirts/shorts, etc. they wanted so they were completely involved. I can’t tell you how Sam thrives on independence! He’s now taken 3 baths all on his own in just the past 24 hours. Ethan only has a shower in his bathroom but ventured into it alone yesterday after swimming. Now, all I have to do is outfit each bathroom with towels, tooth brushes, etc and I think they’re good to go. It’s such an awesome and yet sad feeling realizing your kids just don’t need you the way they always have.
That gets us caught up for the month. I’m thankful and grateful each and everyday for these 2 remarkable little kids. Ethan really grew up in Vail. Dennis could hear it in his voice each time they spoke. Sam is going through a bit of a sassy stage but is still my love.
Thanks for caring enough to keep us in your thoughts!
Hope you summer is fantastic!
Kindergarten......here we come!
xxoo,
Dana
Monday, June 12, 2006 7:08 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
Gosh, it's been such a long time since I've been drawn to write, but tonight here I am.
I'll start with the reason why I'm here tonight. Little Jacob from Florida lost his battle with cancer last night. He passed peacefully and right in the midst of a global prayer vigil with thousands upon thousands of participants.
There are 2 people who I check on each and everyday without fail, one is Jacob and the other is my friend in Dallas, Lynn Newman. I seem to check on my other kids more on a weekly basis. Knowing that Jacob had been on a vent for more than 3 weeks and in the PICU, kept me checking on him actually more than once per day even though I know his mom, Heather, typically posts between 12am & 3am.
My heart, along with the world's, is broken as we've all learned the news. I checked on Jacob this morning before heading out and hadn't had a chance this afternoon. It was only while on my way to dinner with the kids and Lauren and her twins that I received the call from Jenny. "Have you checked on Jacob today?" "Earlier, but not recently." Then the bomb. All 4 children were extremely quiet (which is a miracle all in itself) while I spoke with Jenny. Before I even hung up, a couple of them were asking who died? I explained about my little pal in Florida (Sam & Ethan have seen Jacob's site many times) and told them all that Jacob was now in heaven. He was completely pain free, his lungs were crystal clear and he was probably playing t-ball with God as we spoke. One of the kids, I believe it was Sam said, "Not t-ball mom, probably beach ball!! They must be playing with God on his beach and ocean." I told them I bet they were right and I was sure the angels were playing right along with them. Later, while at dinner Ethan asked, "Mom, why do people die?" I explained it was just the way it was. We can't live forever. Our bodies eventually give out. But it's just our bodies that die, our souls go straight to heaven. There, our souls spend eternity having fun! I'm pretty sure this is not what the talmud or torah teaches, but these are kids and they have to believe death is not as scary as it seems.
What is so strange is that just this past week I was looking for a new book to read and found one on my bookshelf entitled, "Walking Taylor Home." I might be off on the exact title but I bet many of you know what book I'm referring to. I vaguely remember someone either giving it to me or recommending it to me when Sam was sick. That's been 2 years and just now I choose to pick it up. What a profound effect it had on me. The incredibly beautiful relationship between a father and son struck such a cord within. I've told Dennis much about this book and he'll begin reading it this week. Something that I found quite coincidental was that in the book the father referred to F.R.O.G. I've grown quiet familiar with this acronym as Heather, Jacob's mommy, has it all over his website. It stands for Fully Rely On God.
Those who know me and understand my perspective on faith, will probably question why this is of any significance to me. The relevance is that I've seen this all over Jacob's website for so many months I can't even remember, then to see it in this book was a little startling. I really thought the Duckworth's made it up.
I hope and pray this sweet family finds some peace and comfort over the upcoming days/weeks/months in knowing how their "Amazing Jacob" touched so many hearts. I once remember writing that this kid might make me believe in miracles afterall. Who knows?
Onto our family......
Sam, Ethan, Dennis, Jaffie and the hermit crabs are doing just fab!!! I kind of accidentally killed the beta fish several weeks ago. Oops!
The end of school was a blast and now summer camp has begun. The boys are attending the JCC (Jewish Community Center) for their first time as campers and having the time of their life. As of today, I've taken up tennis lessons at the JCC so it makes it very convenient. We went to Hyatt Hill Country in San Antonio over Memorial weekend and had a total blast floating down the lazy urinal river. Wait! Did I just say that? I enjoyed a little girl time over this weekend with 3 of my buddies for 24 whole hours! Whoo Hoo!
The day after camp ends, I'm taking the kids to Vail to spend a week with Kristin (my former CEO....for those of you who have been reading from the beginning) allowing Dennis to have a whole week to himself! Boy, does he need it and deserve it!!!
After that, Dennis is taking me to Napa for a couple of days in August for my bday and then it's back to school. Still haven't figured out how to be in 2 places at the same time regarding school, but I have been given the names of 2 families who live within my zip code that I might be able to carpool with for Ethan.
Dennis' sister, Melissa and her kids, are on their way to Dallas as we speak from San Francisco and we can't wait to see everyone. They'll touch down really late tonight so tomorrow will be a big family day. Dennis and I pop over to Vegas for 2 nights at the end of the week for a medical conference then the kids and I have a really special Father's Day planned. They've been perfect with keeping all the secrets, I really proud of them.
That's about the scoop. I'm so sorry I've been remiss in posting. Thankfully, no news is absolutely good news around camp Eisenberg.
Love to you all. If you'd like to check out Jacob's site and get caught up on his incredible story, you can at www.caringbridge/fl/jacob. You too will fall in love with this family.
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Friday, May 5, 2006 9:20 AM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
Two years ago Sam was diagnosed with Leukemia. How can I possibly put into words all of the extreme emotions, fears, panic, and helpless feelings we encountered then? But why even go there I often ask myself. I guess I need to go there to remember how close we were to losing Sam.
I remember so vividly so much of that experience. I don't, however, remember so much of the day to day activities we experienced once Sam was out of the hospital for good; January 2005. That's weird, isn't it? It would seem that I would have blocked out much of those 9 months, wouldn't it? Instead, I can't recall what we did in February of 2005.
I can remember sitting in an exam room as Dr. Weinthal explained Sam's life expectancy. I can remember carrying him all the way over to 12 South, transplant floor. I vividly remember that walk because I had just had a mini tummy tuck and lipo 3 weeks prior and was in agony carrying him. I remember my first contact with the admit nurse, Ann, and how indignant I was to her. I remember distinctly the look on the other nurses faces as they introduced themselves to me; empathy. I remember Dennis' parents and brother coming right up to the hospital, sitting in Sam's room and no one being able to speak a word. The only sound was from the tears hitting the floor.
I remember the following day when they wheeled Sam back to the OR to implant his central lines and giving him that dreadful (yet life saving) first dose of chemo right into his spinal column. I remember standing over him as he tried to wake, and just crying and crying that this was happening to my baby.
It's been 2 years but I remember almost every detail of our hospital stay. I don't remember too much about our intermittent nights spent at home in between rounds of chemo. I really find that odd.
I think I was so in the moment at the hospital. I had to listen and understand what the docs/nurses were telling us. I had to weigh diapers, give meds, bathe Sam, feed him (when he was willing and able to eat), watch for any and every little change in his skin, complexion, stool, etc. I think that when I was home, I was in a daze just trying to do laundry and repack, pay bills, keep the house up and make sure Ethan was taken care of.
Anyone who has experienced a child with cancer probably feels the same. I don't ever want to forget our time spent in the hospital. It enables me to relish the time away. Now our memories are those we choose to create, rather than those we have no choice over.
School memories are some of my most favorite. With only a few short weeks left, I find myself reflecting alot especially since this will be Ethan's last year at Schechter, aka Levine Academy. On May 26th, there will be quite a few tears shed as it will be the preschool's last shabbat service. I've watched over the years as the preschool administrators cry at this last shabbat and now it's my turn. Sam will continue to have shabbat service but it's not the same once the kids enter Kindergarten. Up until that point, each and every Friday for the past 4 years all of the preschool has come together. I'm saddened to think Ethan will be missing his Jewish education at school, but he will still get it at Temple sunday school.
Today, my little brave boy, Ethan, had a minor surgical procedure. Dennis woke him at 5:15am and they ventured to the hospital in the midst of a major down pour. I was up most of the night as Sam was freaked out by the thunder, then Ethan showed up in my room complaining of a hurt toe. After they left, I couldn't go back to sleep as I was so nervous and anxious worrying about Ethan. Would he cry, would he be afraid? I've always been the one who has accompanied the kids through medical procedures. I received the call from Dennis around 7:15am that it was over and Ethan had done perfect! I was so proud of him.
These children are truly something special. The other day, I really "pissed" Sam off (for lack of a better word) and he shook his finger at me through anger and tears and said, "YOU HAVE REALLY DISAPPOINTED ME!" I had to hold back my smile but I knew I had been properly reprimanded by my 5.5 year old.
T-ball is in full swing, so to speak. The first game is tomorrow and kids are really excited. Ethan is a natural hitter. He still thinks every ball that ventures into outfield should be his, but hopefully he'll get it soon. I noticed Sam in the outfield at yesterdays practice, squatting down and picking "dandelions." That pretty much sums it up. My gut tells me he's really not gonna be the athletic type. He'd probably prefer being the manager of the team and making sure everyone's uniform was proper and up to code. The boy is strictly by the books!
Please be sure and stop by dear friend's caringbridge website. It's /tx/lynnnewman. She is one feisty chic and is giving cancer a real run for it's money.
As always, thanks for staying tuned in. I cherish just being a normal family.
xxoo,
Dana
Sunday, April 23, 2006 9:08 AM CDT
Dear Friends and Family,
Has it really been a month since I last posted? Yikes, where does the time go?
Sooooooo much has been going on. After 2 long months of anguishing over where Ethan will attend Kindergarten the decision has been made and we're just thrilled. Ethan will go to Preston Hollow Presbyterian School. Yep, you read it right. One kid at a Jewish school the other at a Presbyterian school. When this whole saga began (Ethan needing a learning different school), I immediately heard about PHPS. I can't even remember how it came to my attention, oh wait yes I do, it was from one of Sam's Oncologists, Stan Goldman. He gave it such an awesome review and knew one of the 1st grade teachers. He actually gave me her number twice as I misplaced it the first time. Go figure! Anyway, we were knee deep in Ethan's testing and evaluation stuff that I never gave her a call but always had this feeling about the school. We continued our interview process with Shelton which by the way I think maybe more intense than getting into college, and also began checking out other schools. One school, Oak Hill, I visited and fell in love with only to find out Ethan would be placed on the wait list. The more visits to Shelton and the more I knew it wasn't the right place for Ethan. Shelton is known in Texas as being the premier learning different school but in my heart there was something missing each and everytime I visited. JOY! I couldn't see any joy on the faces of these young children. Ethan is so full of joy, that the idea of putting him into that environment truly depressed me. Don't misunderstand what I'm trying to communicate as I know MANY parents with kids that attend this school and they are fabulous kids. Just in the school environment they were so serious. I know it's necessary for these kids to have structure and they learn without additional stimulation, it just wasn't right for Ethan.
What PHPS offers is love. It is the most nurturing environment I've ever seen. The kids are so full of joy, creativity and just fun. They seemed so happy. The school is really small; only goes through 6th grade and has a total of 118 children. There is only 1 Kindergarten class consisting of 8 kids. There is one other Jewish boy that will be with Ethan. Dennis actually knows the couple as he grew up with the Dad, I believe.
I always thought I would get some sort of job when the kids went to Kindergarten. Now, it seems I'll be driving from one end of town to the other a couple of times per day. I can always get back into Recruiting which is what I did for 15 years before the kids were born and can be done from home, but YUCK, that doesn't sound very appealing. I'm thinking more in terms of realestate. We'll see.
The kids were especially busy over the last 3 weeks at school, which meant I was at the school volunteering alot! Passover is a huge shabang in Kindergarten. The kids have to create their own Hagadah which takes so much time. Lots and lots of cutting, writing, glueing, etc. Last Monday and Tuesday I was at the school for the entire time the kids were there. On Monday, I assisted with making soup, matzoh balls and haroset for the entire Pre-K and Kindergarten classes. I actually made 90 matzoh balls on Monday. I had the best time! Then on Tuesday I helped set up the Seder in the gym. The week before that I was assisted in the "Matzoh Factory" and the fun just never stops! I kid around and say they should put me on payroll as I'm up there so much. You know what? I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. My husband, on the other hand, would love to see me back at the gym. Honey, I promise it's on my list.
Our family Seder was so much fun as well. The first night of Passover we went to Dennis' brothers and the next night we had 20 here for dinner. I hired a server (which was really used as a cleaner-upper) and 2 babysitters. It was the best of both worlds. The kids were on hand but were totally engrossed in all the fun stuff the sitters brought. The adults were actually able to converse.
Last Saturday we left for our cruise. The kids couldn't have been more excited!!!! We fly to Houston, had a driver take us in what was supposed to be a Town car but turned out to be a white stretch limo (can you say prom night?) to Galveston and boarded Royal Caribbean's Splendor of the Seas ship. We cruised for 5 days and went to Cozumel and teeny tiny port called Costa Maya. Costa Maya had 600 residents, 40 dogs, 10 cats and loads of huge iguanas!!! We truly had the very best family vacation of all time! The kids were so on their game. I'm serious when I tell you we received so many compliments about how well behaved our children were. And they were! There was little time for turmoil as the fun just never ended. There were tons of kids on this cruise and the kid's club was lots of fun. They were perfect little gentlemen in the main dining room at night and just charmed everyone. Dennis and I truly could not have been more proud of them.
I did have to make a quick sanity check prior to departure for Sam. On Friday before leaving, he was running a low grade temp and complained alot about leg pain. Deja Vu? Same symptoms from way back when......DIAGNOSIS! I called the clinic and kind of "insisted" on a blood draw. Naturally, everything looked great. But I have to tell you, Dennis was white when he got home that day. You know, still waiting for that other shoe to drop or something. Fortunately, he was only home for about 10 minutes when I received the call from the nurse. He was able to exhale and immediately went to his office for a nap. I guess I scared the hell out of him when I called to tell him I had just left clinic.
Sam and Ethan continue to fill our lives with more joy than one could have ever imagined. They are 2 of the funniest little people and make us laugh and bring smiles to our faces throughout each and everyday. I still worry, though not quite as often, about relapse. I still on occasion tear up with the thought of losing Sam, like this very minute. I've grown to rely so heavily on what they do for my soul, my heart and my life. I now believe Sam will be a daddy one day. He talks about it all the time. At the time of diagnosis, which by the way, was almost exactly 2 years ago, I thought that concept was a lost dream. Chemo and total body irradiation to a 3.5 year old didn't come with positive data for reproduction. Something tells me that Sam will be able to have children of his own. He tells me that when he has children I will then be a grandmother, but will still be HIS mother.
Sam continues to fall asleep in his bed but finds his way down to mine each and every night. I swear, sometimes I wake up and look at the clock and wonder how much longer I have to wait for his arrival. It's just the way it is for now. I know it won't last forever.
Sam is taking piano lessons twice a week and Ethan is doing karate and ice skating. They are blossoming as individuals and we just love it.
Only 4 more weeks of school, then San Antonio over Memorial Day, then camp at The J, then a week in vail with the Smith's and if I can talk Dennis into it, a week in La Jolla with the Zlotky's before school starts back.
I can't believe it's been 2 years and some of you have been with us since the beginning. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for holding our family close to yours and still caring enough to check on us.
I've said so many times but......Life is Good! Thank G-d!
xxoo,
Dana & family!
Tuesday, March 21, 2006 1:48 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
This will be a quickie! I'm listening to Sam during his piano lesson and he's doing soooooo good! Of course when I stepped out of the room for a minute he convinced his teacher he needed a snack. I caught him climbing up the dog food container in an effort to grab the Cheez It's! I'm like, "Sam? What are you doing?" "Paul said I could get a snack." Oy!
Still working the school circuit in hopes of finding just the right spot for Ethan. Hopefully, we'll have a place secured for him in the next few weeks. Such a process, I swear!
WFAA, Channel 8 news reporter, Debbie Denman, came and interviewed the family on Sunday morning for a couple of hours. It was a segment geared towards a local family who has been through the experience of blood transfusions. It was to raise awareness of the need for blood and platelet donations as well as registering to be on the national bone marrow registry. Well, with the torrential rains Dallas has endured the past few days, the segment was put off. We taped the news on Sunday & Monday, but naturally didn't today and of course the segment ran. If anyone happened to PVR or TIVO it and could get us a copy we'd sure appreciate it. We'll watch the 5:00 news tonight in hopes they run it again and will also request a copy from the newsroom but chances are that will take forever.
Ethan has turned the corner in terms of his behavior. Everything changed a few weeks ago when he mastered the monkey bars at school. This is a big deal for the kids in pre-k. When they accomplish this, they wear home a lamenated monkey pin on their shirt. Ever since that day, Ethan has so much more confidence. We're giving him loads of attention and praise and his latest schtick is to tell me when he's gotten frustrated about a situation that, "Mommy! Today I got frustrated, but I was quickly able to control my emotions.!" I told him if he had 5 good days at school in a row, we'd buy him that transformer he saw last week at Walmart. Boy is he motivated. I was at school about 1.5 hours today as I'm a room parent in Ethan's class and it was the co-teachers birthday. After he finished his lunch, I took him back out on playground so he could show me how FAST he's gotten at the monkey bars now. Oh My G-d! I'm just sooooooooooooooo proud of that sweet little boy. He's also LOVING his ice skating lessons.
I know I've said it again and again, but what a terrific age. I really would like to bottle them up at this age and not let them get any older.
Sam is almost finished so we're off to pick up Ethan. Hope your day is as splendid as mine has been!
Lots and lots of love coming your way!
Dana
Tuesday, March 14, 2006 9:26 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
KRISTIN SMITH.....YOU'RE MY HERO!!!!!!!!! I've asked my darling husband to update the photos for 6 (SIX) months and alas it took bribery to get Kristin to do it. Yep, you read it right! I took both Max (5) and Jake (2.5) today for a little over an hour in order to negotiate she take and put the pics of the kids on Sam's website.
Now the funny part. Dennis is pissed. Can you even imagine? He thinks its absolutely unreasonable and outrageous that I asked Kristin to do this task. I reminded him very politely that I had been waiting for 6 months for him to change the pics and his response, "I showed you how to do it." Oh yeah, you did. Six months ago, and guess what Mr. Intelligence? I forgot! how to do it! Schmuck!!!!!!!!!!!
Again, thank you sooooooooo much Kristin!
The kids just had the best time at school celebrating Purim. Sam dressed in a blue power rangers costume and Ethan dressed as, "Johnny" the human torch boy (or something like that.)
Dennis spent the last 24 hours being the doc at Camp Hooray. This is a camp sponsored by Temple Shalom that provides underpriviledged Richardson ISD kids an opportunity to attend a few days at camp. He just loves this experience and probably handed out all of 1 Tylenol and 2 bandaids. But it doesn't matter, because he always calls us and tell us that he's been swinging from a tire swing, doing an arts & crafts project, went kayaking, and told scary stories by the camp fire while eating smores. He just cracks us up every year because he calls at night all scared and silly.
It looks like Sam will experience Kindergarten at Levine Academy, formerly known as: Solomon Schechter and Ethan is still up in the air. We're looking at Levine, Shelton and Preston Hollow. We hope within the next 2 weeks, we'll have a perfect peace about where Ethan will be best served.
I'm going to end with a rather odd way of finishing my post. Dennis & I both experienced a form of stomach bug on Sunday & Monday. My symptoms consisted of HORRENDOUS stomach spasms, nausea, headache and body aches. Dennis' were similar with the exception of the spasms. His were more cramps. Neither of us had vomitting or diarrhea but the other symptoms were fierce!!!!
Tonight, being Tuesday, I mentioned something to Dennis that I've been feeling but didn't bother to communicate to him. "Honey? Something just doesn't feel right. I can't explain it, but I'm uneasy. I feel really nervous that something is about to rock our world." His response, "I've been feeling the exact same way." WOW! I have no idea what is about to transpire, but I do believe it is something.
We went through our family members, one at a time. I've spoken with A, B, C, etc. and everything seems to be fine. Dennis has the uncomfortable feeling this is about him. How could he feel any other way? His son and his wife were diagnosed with cancer within 2 years of one another; within the past 4 years. Of course he feels like it's his time. I don't, on the other hand, feel that it's Dennis' turn. I can't say for sure what tragedy our family is about to endure, but I can say, something doesn't feel right.
Stay tuned and continue to lift our family up. We'll never turn your prayers and well wishes away.
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Be sure and check out the photo page as Kristin was kind enough to update that as well.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006 11:26 AM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
Is February really already over? Yikes! I know it's been a while since my last posting. Everything is just really normal. I just hate even thinking it much less writing it as I'm worried I'll jinx myself.
I look at these incredible children of mine and just think how on earth did I get so lucky. I think this thought all the time. I think I'd like to bottle this age up and never let time move on. The boys are so much fun and are learning every single day something new. They tell me every afternoon something new they discovered that day or were taught. It could be about meteorology, hebrew, judaic studies, math, library....you name it and I get the full dissertation. They're so proud of themselves as well. I love the fact that they, at such a young age, are so self confident and self assured.
We've been in a wait and see mode for several months with regards to where the boys will attend Kindergarten. Both kids were tested at 2 private schools in Dallas (I actually attended both) and the letters will be sent out next Friday the 10th. In going through all this testing (each of these 2 schools use different testing mechanisms) it has been brought to our attention that Ethan may have learning differences. "May" is not the best choice of words, "does" is more appropriate. Dennis & I met with his teachers and the preschool administrator several weeks ago and the everyone concurs. With that said, he's being evaluated tomorrow at a very reputable center and we'll have a conference shortly thereafter to confirm. Dennis and I feel he will be a candidate for their school or one similar so it appears the boys will be at different schools next year for sure.
If you have been following Sam's website for a long time, you'll remember Ethan had some sensory integration/auditory processing issues. He's come along way and still gets speech thereapy twice weekly and occupational therapy for fine motor skills once per week. I assume if he gets into Shelton or a similar type school, they'll have all of those professionals onsite so it will be one stop shopping, so to speak.
After our meeting with the school on February 6th, I kind of shut down. I took the information from that meeting and just felt so damn sad. I don't think I've journaled since then. Dennis left the meeting feeling relieved. We always just assumed Ethan was immature, but to hear how angry he is at school and frustrated with not being able to do the things his peers are doing, just broke my heart. Dennis immediately felt like good, we'll find a school better suited to his ability to learn and process information. I, on the other hand, didn't want my kid labeled as someone with learning differences. I cried a lot that first week but knew in time I would come around. In my mind I knew this was a positive revelation, but in my heart, I didn't want my child have to go to a "special" school. I've had a lot of time to think about it and converse with my girlfriends and am in a good place now. I'm actually looking forward to hearing what they have to say. Our main goal is to have Ethan mainstreamed back and not pidgeon-holed at this school.
Dennis is great and funnier than ever! Did I tell you what he did for Valentines Day? I can't remember the last time it was that I posted. Anyway, he bought me the obligatory Albertson's flowers but also ordered some really decadent decorated dipped strawberries online. Unfortunately, on the 14th he received an email that said his order was unfortunately not processed and the order wouldn't arrive for 4 more days. Well, Dennis emailed back and said, "Don't bother sending them. My wife left me as a result of having no gift for her." They, in turn wrote back and said, "We're terribly sorry, please provide us with her number and we'll explain." Of course I knew nothing of this for a couple of days but when he told me, I almost cried I laughed so hard. For those of you about ready to bash us.....he later emailed them and told them he was kidding. They credited his account.
Then a few days later, the phone was ringing and ringing in the morning. I assumed it was my trainer who loves to call me early to remind me of our sessions so I didn't bother even looking at the caller id. Finally, I answered it and it was Dennis. "Honey, I have a little problem. I think I might have left my laptop on the top of my car when I drove away from the house today." Oh Vey! So the kids and I went outside and sure enough his laptop was in front of our house in lots of little pieces. Fortunately his hard drive was not damaged, but goodness.....he's such a dork! I took the remnants up to his office and his staff got a good laugh on his account.
The boys are starting Karate after school today and just can't wait. Ethan has been practicing for weeks but his rendition of karate is more like ninja or power ranger fighting. I keep telling him the instructor will be showing karate in a little different way. I hope he doesn't get in there today and argue with the instructor about the right way of doing things.
We have sooooo many things to look forward to right now. Over Passover break, we're taking the kids on a cruise to Mexico. The week between school ending and camp starting we'll be in San Antonio. After camp, the boys and I will spend a week in Vail with the Smith's and then we'll take the kids for a week to La Jolla before school starts. We also have tickets to Disney of Ice featuring The Incredibles and to Cavalia which is a fabulous show including horses doing tricks. We are just having the best time with life right now.
Here's a good one. Do ya'll remember my friend Nancy Malnik from Florida? One of her triplets also had AML and we were introduced through a mother of multiples organization. Neither of the remaining 2 kids were a bone marrow match, so they opted for trial study of chemo -vs- transplant. Jarod is now 1.5 years in remission and doing amazing! Last year Nancy and her husband did a round of invitro with the idea of a) having another child and b) having that child be a perfect match for Jarod if ever he relapsed. Well, the long and the short of it, is that they got pregnant but the lab implanted the "wrong" embryo. Baby Jesse is now about 6 months old I believe and light of all their lives. The children adore him. Nancy did another round recently and you're not gonna believe this.....she's pregnant with not one but two PERFECT MATCHES! A boy and girl. Check out Jarod's caringbridge website; /fl/Jarod. Please don't write anything offensive in his journal. If you don't believe in what they did, that's your perogative, but until you've walked in someone else's shoes, don't judge. I would do it in a heartbeat if it meant saving my child's life.
Baby Maggie is as beautiful as ever, be sure and check out Jenny's recent posting with new pics as well.
New pics of Sam and the family will be posted this week. Yeah, I know you've heard it before. I finally have some new pics and I'll ask Kristin to post them since my darling husband hasn't found time to do so.
Have a fabulous day....until next time.
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Friday, February 3, 2006 2:52 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
Although it's been a while, I come to Sam's site as well as: Jakeowen, Emilyadamson, Elisha "E", Hannah, Noelle, Brant, Wyatt, Julianna, Christopher, Katsierane, Olivia, Hannahbanana, Kayla, Madeleine, Seanhanson, Jacob, Jill, Sandy, Sophierumatz, Lynn, Cameron and the Scott family on a very frequent and consistant basis.
Some of these dear children have already left this earth, while other's may soon and then there are many that are just doing so darn well. Isn't so amazing that up until Sam was diagnosed, I had never even heard about Caringbridge, now I'm intertwined in countless families' stories, people I will never personally meet, but I feel such a closeness with.
Sharing your heart and soul on this type of blog may invite naysayers and angry and negative people. However, overall the vast population of visitors to Caringbridge genuinely care about the people they've grown to love. I have found the emotional and spiritual support provided by the followers has far surpassed the support I've personally experienced even by my own place of worship. Why is that? Seems kind of strange don't you think?
And each and everytime I visit Jacob's website I must say, I find myself believing in miracles. As you all know, he was given basically no chance of surviving not too many months ago and now look at him!!!! I look forward to visiting his website because his mommy is sooooo good about posting new pics all the time. Those 4 boys are just the most adorable kids I've ever seen (naturally with the exception of my mine).
Speaking of my little peeps.....the big thing around our house is to say, "Mommy? The word bird starts with the letter B." "Mommy? The word grass starts with the letter G." They're both really into sounding out letters right now. It's just the most fun time ever in their development. Sam couldn't sleep last night as a result of taking a power nap in the afternoon, so he came downstairs and began writing #'s on some paper I had by the bed. They love getting caught doing something GOOD! They just thrive on the praise and believe me, there is never a shortage of praise around this household.
Unfortunately, both kids have had a bit of the crud this week. Ethan stayed home on Wednesday with a yucky cold and Sam came down with it yesterday. He's sound asleep in my bed as I type. He told that sleep and water would make him feel better very soon. Amazing how a 5 year old knows so much. Evidently, on Wednesday, some first year medical students from UTSW came to the school for an hour as part of their early childhood segment. This was the 10th yr for them to pass through Sam's teacher Katy's classroom. The cool thing is that this year her son was observing as he's in his first year at medical school. Anyway, Sam evidently told one of the students that he had Leukemia and chemo but it was really no big deal! Sam failed to mention any of this interaction to me, but Katy told me on Thursday. She said the med students were somewhat blown away by Sam and his ease of a difficult topic for conversation.
Ethan continues to sleep all night in his own bed. I cherish that little boy. He is just the sweetest thing ever!!!! With the exception of when he's around Reid Z., for some reason they're explosive together. Lauren and I have already agreed, that in the event they end up at the same school next year, we're both going to insist they not share a classroom. It's nice to have a best friend who doesn't find this concept offensive, huh?
Our vacation to Cabos was heavenly. The room was gorgeous and the service was out of this world. The property was simply amazing and every detail was flawless. With one exception......price gauging at it's best! I've never seen such exhorbitant pricing like this anywhere.....even Europe! Bare with me for a second.....a glass of Beringer cabernet $32!!!!! That's right, you read it correctly, $32. Two pieces of toast $6.....insane! Truly it was downright insulting. Even the Donald Trump's of the world find this absurd. Who wants to throw their money away like that? Not us, so we ventured off property for most meals. With the exception of that, we had the most romantic and fabulous time. We so desperately needed to reconnect and this resort was just what the doctor ordered!
While we were away on the first day (Thursday) Ethan had diarrhea in his pants right before Capers and Sam ended up smashing his thumb in the minivan door. Off to a great start, huh! With the exception of those 2 mishaps and then Ethan smashing his head on the slide on Monday, they seemed to have come out unscathed. I couldn't be more grateful to Kristen (babysitter extraordinaire), Sarah, Elvia, Lauren and Priscilla for all the kid coverage. Like I've said before, "It takes a village!"
Dennis' sister, Melissa, is coming in tonight and will be here until Monday afternoon. Melissa and I are super close and I always look forward to spending time with her. Dennis is naturally on call this weekend so we'll have to work around his schedule. For some reason it seems every time she comes in one of the kids are sick. Oh well!
Soooooo much going on in the Eisenberg household; 4 different luncheons each supporting a different organization, a wine tasting party here given by a pharmaceutical company and yet another trip is on the horizon over the kid's Passover break in April. Dennis wants to take them on a cruise; possibly the Disney Cruise, we're checking into it.
Jenny is doing fabulous on Weight Watchers, I believe she's down about 11-12 pounds. She looks radiant, I swear! She's such a pretty girl I wish you could all see her in person. Mag Pie is also doing great and is simply gorgeous!
Dennis and I got on a health kick while in Mexico and worked out 3x out of the 5. On Tuesday I rejoined 24 Hour Fitness as well as started the South Beach Diet and I've worked out everyday this week. It feels sooo good to FINALLY be motivated. I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying working out. I pray, pray, pray.....it continues to be fun and not becomes a drag. I've hired a trainer 3x per week that will really hold me accountable and I'm finding the no carbs gig not to be a problem at all. I've always steered clear of this diet because I'm such a carboholic, but really it's been so easy so far.
Our life is calm and peaceful; full of so much love and adoration, I pray yours is as well.
Lots of love from our hearts to yours!
Dana & Family
Tuesday, January 24, 2006 3:02 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
It’s 12:34pm and I’m in flight from Dallas to San Antonio. Dennis & I are attending one of his close friends child’s Bat Mitzvah this weekend. So I’m 10,000 feet in the air and I feel the need to write.
I just started a book, actually just a few moments ago, and the most poignant scripture was revealed to me; “A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in the time of need.” Proverbs 17:17. The book is entitled, “Three weeks with my brother” and is on the NY Times bestseller list.
What perfect timing to read such a thing. Here’s why. I always get a bit crazy before leaving for a trip, with or without the kids. There’s just sooo much to coordinate and get done. Without help, the menial tasks intensify like laundry. Have I mentioned how much I HATE doing laundry lately? My husband certainly has been hearing this mantra alot lately and actually felt a dribble of empathy for me and decided to whisk the kids off to the grandparents after dinner last night. For some reason the kids have been sooooo physical lately which ultimately ends up with one, if not both, of them getting hurt and crying. I was on my last nerve and this certainly was a welcome reprieve.
The house was quiet, Jaffie was behaving, the fish and crabs weren’t giving me any trouble so I popped a cork of a nice spanish cabernet. As I sat and sipped (yeah right, those who know me know I don’t usually sip but rather gulp!) I folded my 5th load of laundry for the day and finally began to feel a sense of calm. I was wound pretty tight before the kids left so this was such an enjoyable feeling.
I took care of the paperwork necessary for traveling while leaving the kids behind; consent for the various caretakers to take them for medical assistance if needed, and a long list of do’s and don’ts, contact info, medicine info, etc. for those who will be staying with the kids. I got my credit card, insurance card, money and the keys ready and placed everything in the designated spot. So needless to say, almost everything was in place that would enable me to leave town for 48 hours peacefully.
As I sat on the couch, wine in hand, tv tuned to something on NBC, I glanced over at Dennis’ laptop which was on the coffee table. There all my thoughts turned to the beauty in my life. I sat and watched a “slide show” of the kids as it scrolled through on his screen saver.
My, oh my! It’s so darn easy to forget how far we’ve all come and how close we were to losing it. I watched on as picture after picture of my precious bald headed child smiled for the camera. Central lines creeping down his lily white body but always he had a magnificent smile on his face. As tears filled my eyes, I just quietly said, “thank you.” “.....a brother is born to help in time of need.” I know I was blessed with twins for so many reasons. I could never had dreamed that my sweet little Ethan would play the most important role in our lives. Ethan’s perfectly perfect bone marrow that he so graciously shared with Sam entitled our family to remain in tact. My amazing hero, Ethan. I adore you Ethan! (Remember to hide your tongue while saying words with the letter “s”.) Just had to write it since I won’t see you for 2 days to say it.
I’ve been receiving some personal emails lately regarding my relationship with Jenny. The beginning of that scripture says, a friend is always loyal, how appropriate. Our relationship is as strong as ever. Rarely a day goes by that we don’t speak and usually we see each other at least once per week. Jenny, Andrew and Maggie Munch came over for a visit just last Sunday. Oh My God......that child is GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!! She’s just the yummiest little thing ever with the BIGGEST blue eyes you’ve ever seen. She gave me lots of fabulous smiles and was just a gem the whole time. So please don’t worry......Jenny and I are as solid as two sisters can be. We have lots of exciting things happening with Heroes for Children that’s keeping everyone really busy. The big spring luncheon is just around lthe corner and it has already proven to be a huge financial success. We’re very hopeful to expand our assistance to other cities in 2006.
Dennis is as funny as ever. I wish he allowed others to really get to see his personality. Example: while driving to the airport today, dennis had his $5.00 sunglasses propped on his head completely cock-eyed and kept trying to get my attention. Finally, he said, “my head is misshapen and you just don’t get it.” Oh really, Dennis? Here’s the visual for you, Dennis & I driving in his used Kia (don’t ask), with our butts basically scraping the pavement (this car sits really low), with his glasses all cocked up and he tells me I just don’t get it. Oy Vey, he’s such a dork.
UPDATE************
I began this posting on Friday and now it’s Tuesday at 2:42pm and I’m just getting back to it.
Anyway, the weekend was such a blast and man, can those people host a “throw down” party! It was definitely one of the funniest Saturday night Bat/Bar Mitzvah parties ever! What made it so much fun was that it was casual! The theme was denim and jewels. Naturally there were some women there with their $400 decked out denim, but Dennis and I in our $30 denim had the time of our life! We danced and danced and ate and drank and just had a great night.
We returned home on Sunday afternoon (exhausted, to say the least) and I began the task of preparing for another trip. This is our special vacation we’ve been so looking forward to, but again, it takes a village to shuttle these kids here, there and everywhere when you don’t have fulltime help or family close by. Yes, Dennis’ parents are pretty close, however, they’re 86 and in no condition to care for the kids. So, I’ve piece-mealed their schedules and have sent typed notices out to the entire city of where they are to be at any given minute, who will be driving and their contact info.
I’m pooped!
But wait, I still have a mountain of laundry to get done, grocery shop, drop off & pick dry cleaning, etc, etc, etc. For those of you reading this post who genuinely don’t like me (I still have no idea why you continue to read), please don’t bash me. I’M NOT COMPLAINING, I’m just talking. I KNOW, I KNOW, every mom alive deals with the daily chores of being a mom and wife. I’m no different, just felt like talking about it.
Tomorrow is my 9th wedding anniversary and Friday is Dennis’ 44th birthday. Damn, he’s old! How did that happen? As he says to me all the time, “I didn’t sign up for that!” Ha!
Happy Birthday my darling Jenny Scott! I sooooooo enjoyed our sushi lunch today with Larissa and the babes! I’m the luckiest girl around, I got to be with both Luke & Maggie today. Yummy delicious babies, indeed!
We leave early on Thursday am for Cabo and I’m really excited but naturally nervous at the same time. I woke up this morning and told the kids I already miss them! They were picture perfect this morning with their behavior. They worked together as a team on getting dressed and wars broke out. Ethan has now successfully slept all night in his bed for 5 nights! I’m soooooo proud of him. Yesterday, I bought him a knight costume as a reward! A few minutes ago he had on the costume along with a purple kepah (yamulke; head covering) on top of his mask. It was so funny.
These kids are just my joy, my inspiration, my passion, my love, my EVERYTHING!
Please keep a few of my friends in your thoughts; Galit (cyber friend) just lost a pregnancy at 8 wks and is terribly down. Also, Lynn Newman; /tx/lynnnewman, as her latest tumor removal was once again malignant. She’s been through the ringer to say the least.
I guess that’s the news for the moment!
Stay loyal to your friends and look forward to a very funny post -vacation update. Already some funny things have happened but I can’t share anything until after the trip; some surprises for Dennis!
Lots and lots of love and thank you for continuing to check in on the crazy antics of the Eisenberg’s!
Dana
Wednesday, January 11, 2006 9:17 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
WOW! I had no idea I had such a knack for stirring up trouble! Well, that’s not exactly true. I guess I’ve ruffled a few feathers since Sam’s site was created. News Flash....I’m not perfect, thank G-d because perfection to me is BORING! You gotta make a few mistakes each and everyday. Believe me, the kids remind me often of how I did this or that wrong.
I can’t wait for Sam to be old enough to read this blog and understand it. Each and every journal entry is a window into my personality and it will be fun for him to experience it through words and not just actions.
Let me give you an update on the kids since some think I’ve shied away from that. Lets talk about Ethan. Ethan is a marvelously handsome little guy. He has brown hair, beautiful blue eyes and dimples that make you smile just seeing them. He’s all boy.....rough and tumble. He’s really into anything Power Ranger and super hero-ish. He loves to dress in costumes and sing an epic melody while chasing Sam around the house. He’s seriously into play dates and expects to have one every single day. Last semester at school there was a little boy named Griffin that Ethan wanted to be friends with. Griffin wasn’t into Ethan which totally provoked and angered him, so they became fast and furious rivals. Give a kid a winter break for 2 weeks and guess what? Ethan and Griffin are the best of buddies. Ethan idolizes this kid. No matter what Griffin tells him (and he has quite a vivid imagination), Ethan believes. Over the weekend, Ethan was convinced that Griffin was invisible. No matter how we tried to overcome this epiphany, Ethan was steadfast in his reasoning. After all, Griffin said so. Ethan has speech therapy twice weekly and we’re slowly seeing some progress. I’m going to sign him up for T-ball in the spring and he still LOVES Capers. Capers is a drama program that he attends. He is just yummy.
Sam is all ME! Yikes! He has beautiful wavy auburn hair with cheeks dotted with freckles. His eyes are quite hazel. Sam has no volume control. He is the LOUDEST child on the planet. He has long fingers and narrow feet. He’s not athletic but is very cerebral. He remembers everything. I’ve never seen anything like it. The weirdest detail of an event that took place two years ago and the kid will remember it. He’s kind of peculiar in his interests. My friends would ask what to buy him for a birthday or Hanukkah present and I swear I was often perplexed. He loves clothes. He also loves little things. Trinkets. Little trinkets that you wouldn’t think twice about, could become part of his collection. He has many collections of trinkets. He wants to take piano and I’m searching for an instructor. We don’t have a piano, but is in in “scope out” mode. Everyday, he tells me he’s found a perfect place for a piano.
Both kids are incredibly social. They can both enter any social setting and make a friend or 10 or 12. They are complete extraverts and you can just tell are enjoying life to its fullest. They make Dennis & I laugh everyday. They’re really funny little people.
I guess all of us feel the same about our children.........we are soooooo blessed. My favorite place to kiss Sam is on his closed eye lid. My lips fit perfectly there. I love hugging Ethan. He wraps his arms and his legs so tightly around me and lays his head on my shoulder. Sometimes we stay in that position just rocking back and forth. He’s not as tolerant as Sam about my kiss-fests.
Sam has decided rather than being a doctor, he will be a glass blower when he grows up. One of his little collections right now, includes glass and crystal little things. He walks around the house, points out a chatchky (sp ?) and asks if he can have it. Ethan is holding steady at being a knight.
Sam had a clinic appointment yesterday and his labs all checked out perfect. His scalp dermatitis has resolved and we’ll go back right after Mexico for his next appointment. He got to see all 3 wise men yesterday which was a real treat. For the first time, he didn’t shed a single tear when he got his “stick.” The whole office was so enthusiastic over that one. I told you earlier.....the boy is loud. Combine anger, fear and pain, and you have the recipe for a bad scenario with these blood draws. He got a big chuckle out of how we made such a big deal out of it.
They are my joy, my light, my love, my EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m back to being a busy girl and not such a bum as I was last week. I am working on getting tables together for 4 springtime luncheons coming up. The first is for Turtle Creek Manor with guest speaker, James Frey. He’s the author of A Million Little Pieces and My Friend Leonard. His first book is part of Oprah’s book club. I’ve read both books and really liked them! The next one is for the LLS. It’s their BIG event and fashion show. This year it’s being held at the Apparel Mart. Last year was so much fun with one “clothing malfunction” that left the crowd pretty speechless and the model mortified. Hopefully the double sided tape works a bit better this year. In March is our Heroes for Children inaugural event at The Dallas Country Club. It’s called Heroes and Handbags. The room holds 400 (40 tables of 10) and we only have a couple of tables left. We haven’t even sent out invitations yet. Janet St.James has agreed to be our MC for the live auction and this event is on track to bring in significant dollars. I love being part of HFC. We’re doing really good things for these families with sick kids. Lastly, it’s almost time for the Woman to Woman lunch benefitting Jewish Family Services. We’re having the luncheon at the Dallas Arboretum and our guest speaker is Karen Katz, CEO of Neiman Marcus. Whew, lots of fun stuff on the horizon for sure.
A city wide Tzedakah (gift of giving) project is underway and the boys are participating. This is an effort to relocate some displaced Ethiopian Jews (if my memory serves me.) The boys decorated their boxes and are now excited about “earning” coins to put in them. This is the first time they’ve ever had “chores” and the kids think it’s so much fun. Tonight, they ate a good dinner, were good boys, put on their own jammies and placed their dirty clothes in the utility room. That earned them 3 quarters!!!!! They were able to run back to my change jar and identify the correct coin and count out three. They were so proud of themselves. This project lasts for about 7 weeks then there is a big party at the JCC (Jewish Community Center) where all the kids turn in their money. Just another fabulous learning experience.
I started this update this morning and now it’s 9:15pm. Hope you’re having a great week and just enjoying the life around you.
xxoo,
Dana
Friday, January 6, 2006 8:39 PM CST
Dear Cyber Followers,
I single you out in this posting as my family and true friends know my character, spirit and integrity.
What I failed to mention in my last post because I was a little embarrassed is that I haven't taken the time to figure out how to change my cell phone ringer to anything other than what it's set on.
Now does that indicate I'm a rude person who feels above anyone else......of course not. I am guilty, however, of being lazy regarding technology. Anyone who knows me, knows that about me. Look at the latest picture on Sam's website for God's sake. I have many talents.....technology is not one of them.
I guess I can just chalk my last posting up to, "you just had to be there" to get the full picture.
I apologize my last posting was offensive to some. Fortunately, the people who surround themselves around me, who truly know me from the inside out, didn't blink an eye.
I love you guys!
Dana
Thursday, January 5, 2006 10:57 AM CST
Dear Friends and Family,
Oh where, oh where has my motivation gone.....oh where, oh where can it be? Please feel free to sing along if this little tune rings true in your life.
As I sit here in my BED at 10:10 am (don’t tell Dennis) I’m caught a little off guard by the lack of “important” things I typically have going on. That’s right, I think I might be a little bored! Did I really just say that? I’m ashamed and embarrassed. I should be making speeches, raising money, contributing to world peace, the homeless and famine in 3rd world countries. Right?
I don’t know whats come over me, but boy does this bed feel good right now. Since the week has been so slow for me, I’ve taken advantage of the free time and have gotten caught up on movies. I’m a huge movie-buff. Let’s see, I’ve seen Syriana (great acting but the story line was completely disjointed, didn’t flow and didn’t make sense), Cheaper by the Dozen (took the kids and they enjoyed it), Memoirs of a Geisha (GORGEOUS and followed the book nicely), Munich (intense, compelling....an awesome movie), and finally The Family Stone (good chick flick with some unexpected tearful moments.)
I do have a funny story to tell. While watching The Family Stone, my cell phone went off a couple of times. Mind you, there might have been 10 people in the theater as it was the first showing on a Tuesday. I’m able to check who’s calling and bump the call into voicemail within one ring. A women who looked to be in her late 40’s, early 50’s and her mother were sitting right in front of me. The first call happened during the previews and I noticed the woman turned around to say something nasty, but I just ignored her. The second call came in (thanks alot Andrea! ha!) and this time she turned and blurted something really rude to me...again I just ignored her. As she was sitting in front of me, I had to pass her on my way out as she and her mother just sat there. She didn’t waste anytime giving me a piece of her mind about my cell phone activity.
“You should turn that cell phone OFF in a movie”
I took a step back up so as to get in her face and kindly remarked, “I have small children and that’s just not possible.” Thinking this would suffice, I turned to leave once again. Nope, she wasn’t through with me. “You DO have a vibrate on that phone!” I was so floored by her confrontation that I couldn’t think fast enough and could only look her straight in the eyes and say MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.
What I later learned I should have said was, “It appears YOU need a VIBRATOR!” Damn, I wish I had thought of that. My mind was racing and what I was thinking was, “Hey you miserable nasty woman, do you know that my baby had leukemia? Do you know he almost died last year and went through pain and suffering you should never know and you think bitching about my cell phone is appropriate? I’m mad just thinking about it again.
Thankfully, 99 percent of the people I encounter on a daily basis are thoughtful, caring and good natured.
Sam & Ethan are my little rays of sunshine. Each and everyday, I find myself smiling as I watch something sweet they’re doing or have said. What a beautiful time in our lives. Over the winter break, Sam decided he was ready to learn how to read. We sat down and first looked at each letter and made sure he knew how to pronounce them. Next, I got the Bob books and took out the first one; Mat. Sam read it beautifully with only minor help from me. Next, we went onto Sam. Naturally, that was a fun one as well for him. However, for some reason, he’s been very resistant to go to Dot. Each book is a little more difficult and each time we’ve sat down to read Dot, he’s gotten a bit frustrated and doesn’t complete it. He did tell me this morning that after school, he’d give it another shot. Dennis and I couldn’t have been more excited and proud of him. We were shouting, cheering and giving each other high-fives. Sam relished our energy. I naturally asked Ethan if he would like to learn to read and his answer so far has been a sweet, “Ummm, no thank you mom.” But wait it gets better. On Tuesday night after dinner, Ethan asked if he could practice his letters. I know this may not sound like any big deal, but for Ethan to initiate a learning task was music to our ears. I ran to the toy closet and brought him the dry erase letter book and a marker. He sat at the table and practiced each letter 5 times up until the letter P, I believe. After each and every letter, he would raise his book so daddy could see it and praise him. We were soooo proud of Ethan!!!!
Life is good. Life is good. Life is good.
May this year bring you more smiles, more unconditional love, more ability to give, a better understanding of your life’s purpose and serenity.
Peace!
xxoo,
Dana, Dennis, Sam, Ethan, Jaffie (the golden doodle), Bob & Mermaid (the beta fish) and lastly Garrett & Julia (the hermit crabs!) From our entire family to yours, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
PS (Honey, will you PLEASE show me again how to update pictures?)
Monday, December 26, 2005 9:48 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
A few nights ago I wrote a new update just to have my computer freeze after I was ready to post. PLEASE forgive the delay!
MERRY CHRISTMAS, FELIZ NAVIDAD, HAPPY KWANZAA AND HAPPY HANUKKAH!!!!!!!!!!!
I heard recently that Christmas and the first night of Hanukkah haven’t occurred on the same day for some 40 years. Interesting, huh?
You know, recently I received a holiday card from our paper delivery person. Enclosed was his return address in big and bold. Now, as some of you know, I’m a pretty generous person, but this guy has gone out of his way the past few weeks to throw our paper closer and closer to the street. I couldn’t believe receiving this card that passively asked for a holiday gift. So now that he’s provoked me really good, I’m going to give him a nice holiday gift......the gift of a complaint. I’m so sorry to sound like such a “scrooge” (insert explicative), but WOW, some people really have some chutzpah (aka: kohunas).
The kids have been out of school for a week, and in case you haven’t noticed from my tone, I’m burned out! The light at the end of tunnel is definitely in sight, as Dennis & I head to Cabo San Lucas in a few weeks! Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just can’t wait to veg, read, drink, eat and have some hubby-time.
I haven’t checked on my CB friends in a few days, but know that after I post this update, I’ll be reading your sites. My most frequently visited sites include: Hannah, Christopher, Madeleine, Katesie, Jacob, Jill, Kayla, Cameron, Lynn, Olivia, Scott household (naturally), Brant and Sophie just to name a few off the top of my head. I wish I could access my “favorites” while in Apple Works so as not to leave anyone unmentioned. If you have a CB friend you’d like to make me aware of, I’m ready. For that past few weeks/months I couldn’t say that. But now I feel strong enough emotionally, to hear some of the other children’s stories and take it on as my own.
Sam couldn’t be any better. I’m knocking on wood for all you paranoid Jewish women and men reading this. He continues to enhance my life more than I ever imagined a child of mine could do. Ethan has taken on a new schtick....expressing his emotions. Tonight I heard, “Mommy? I’m cranky!” “Mommy, I’m frustrated!” “Mommy, I’m exhausted!” “Mommy, I have some bad news. I don’t like this party!” Oy Vey! This child is killing me. It’s very difficult keeping Ethan content in a stimulating environment, ie: party. He gets so overwhelmed so easily. My poor baby had the most difficult time today at our annual HUGE Hanukkah party at Jay & Jamie’s. I’m so acutely aware of his feelings and emotions, that my entire time was spent with one ear focussing on Ethan’s needs. We got home after spending 5 hours at Dennis’ brother’s house just to have Ethan open his nightly Hanukkah gift and burst into tears. It was the same gift Sam opened last night and that just wasn’t quite good enough! Finally, after I began playing with him with his new Shaving/Haircutting kit, he had a good time.
Dennis & I seem to spend a great deal of time discussing Ethan and his behavior. He’s immature for his age and he has some developmental issues. Nothing over the top, but enough that almost every night he’s the topic of our discussion. I teared up a few minutes ago while rehashing the day. I just wish Ethan was having an easier time with life in general. It hurts me and burdens me to think he’s having such a hard time with easy, normal and everyday events and tasks. What is the freakin’ answer? We just don’t know. He does really well in a small contained play environment, but put too many kids in the mix or too much noise and he goes into auditory overload. And it’s not pretty. My poor baby.
Dennis recently had an opportunity to discuss our children with a licensed and skilled therapist, actually she has a Ph.D.. She enlightened Dennis and gave him significant insight into Ethan and his behavior. She indicated that Ethan really suffered in a number of ways as a result of Sam’s diagnosis and Mom being absent. Whereas we thought Ethan did remarkably well during those 5 months last year, in reality, perhaps, he did. But now, he’s paying the price. He lost his mom. At the tender age of 3.5, a mother is EVERYTHING to a child. He not only lost me, but he lost his twin. It must have been such a horribly confusing time for him. I don’t think Dennis & I did Ethan justice. Probably because he seemed to be handling everything so well. Well now, it appears his behavior may be the product of that whole event. He might has missed out on some standard life lessons to be a “brave little guy” for his parents and brother. He was far too young to be expected to be brave. His little life sucked as much as Sam’s did. We just couldn’t see it. I’ll carry that burden for years to come. I think we did Ethan a horrible disjustice and disservice by not seeking professional advice. Ethan, please forgive us. We absolutely never meant to slight you. We adore you and look forward to how you will grow into a young man. You are the sweetest little boy ever. You make us laugh and brighten each and everyday on this crazy earth. But one favor......STOP BURPING! IT’S OUT OF CONTROL!!!!! xxoo!
My darling husband and children bought me the most gorgeous pink sapphire and diamond ring for Hanukkah. The boys and I had seen it at a local jewelry store while getting a new battery for my watch several weeks ago. I had told Dennis about the store and the owner as he designs his own pieces. I was really excited that he and the boys took my lead and bought the ring. The funniest thing is that last night when he gave it to me.....it fit!!! I knew from the store it was way too big, so I inquired about this. Evidently, Dennis had Sam get him some playdoh. Dennis made an impression of my wedding band at some point in time and took the playdoh into the jewelry store. The owner took it and sized the ring. How FAB is that? Those little things our partners do make us love them all the more, don’t you think?
The boys are down, the fish are quiet, the hermit crabs are content (have I mentioned the stupid crabs Dennis & the kids came home with a couple of weeks ago?), Jaffie is happy on our bed chewing her bone so it’s time for me to say Goodnight.
I pray your 2005 ends on a positive note and your 2006 offers hope. Love your life. It’s all we have. Give back to your community as they’ve come through for you.
SHARE! LIVE! LOVE! LAUGH! ENJOY! SLOW DOWN! FEEL! HOPE! DESIRE!!
BE CONTENT, ACKNOWLEDGE, EXPRESS, SHOW GRATITUDE!!
Have a beautiful New Years. Be safe. Be wise. Don’t take risks. Be smart.
KNOW: these diseases will some day be a thought of the past.
Thank you for blessing our family with your thoughts, words and concern. We could never have made through the past year and a half without each and everyone of you.
New pictures coming soon....I promise!
xxoo,
Dana & family!
Saturday, December 10, 2005 1:34 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
I don't need to spend $150/hr on a professional therapist.....I have YOU! Thank you so much for all the beautiful guestbook entries as well as personal emails. I am constantly humbled by your words of encouragement. Emotionally, I'm feeling so much better.....physically, I have the worst cold ever. Such a drag, but you know what?, it's not cancer. I try my very hardest to always keep things in perspective.
Just a step back....
Last week I received a call from Sam's oncology office saying that one of his labs (phos/alk) was elevated. A normal level is 100-400, his was 3000. It could have been from the anti-fungal he's been on for more than 2 months. It's known to cause liver toxicity which might have been the culprit for his diarrhea. His liver was in overdrive. We took him off that medication, redid his labs this week and his phos/alk was down to 1500. We'll do it again in 2 weeks with the hope it's back down to normal. Sam's pediatrician said during his 5 yr check he didn't think the area on his scalp was a fungus afterall. Perhaps it once was, but now looks to be more of a scoriosis of sorts. Next stop.....dermatologist. The fun never stops, huh?
In the meantime, Ethan didn't pass his eye exam during his 5 yr check. They have a new high tech camera that measures the sphere of your eye as well as something else. Anyway, one of his eyes didn't pass the sphere issue. This could be a false positive or it could mean he's a candidate for being near-sighted. No big deal, he'll see the pediatric opthamologist right after Christmas. Sam was there this week for the final stop on his road to post transplant checks. His eyes are fine. Evidently, the radiation and chemo can wreak havoc on the eyes (along with pretty much all other organs) but they look for signs of cataracts. Fortunately, Sam seems to have come out of transplant unscathed. We are truly blessed......and damn lucky.
I'm thrilled to "brag" that all but 2 or 3 of our holiday gifts have been purchased. Forty out of the 45 gifts were purchased via phone or computer. This has been the easiest shopping year ever!!! I'll never run myself ragged again. The ones that have arrived have also been wrapped. I know I'm a sick person finding so much self gratification in something so ridiculously trivial. Can't help it, I'm just a freak!
I'm in a huge cooking mode. Dennis is a happy man. If you don't already have it, buy the Central Market Cookbook. The recipes are soooo delicious and really easy to prepare. Dallas has 2 Central Markets so if you can't find it online, you can probably call one of the locations and order it by phone. Here's a few examples of what I've recently made from that cookbook:
Chicken and vegetable soup with fresh cheese tortolleni. I made this on Thursday and we're still eating it. Very hearty and great when you're feeling yucky.
Beef tenderloin with a port, shallot, garlic and dried cherry reduction. Fabulous!
Spinach and ricotta manicotti with cream sauce. Next time I would do a red sauce as the cream sauce was kind of bland and not worth the calories.
Anyway, just something to share.
The kids are great. They're beautiful, thoughtful, caring little boys. They are compassionate beyond my dreams. Both children have verbalized how sorry they are that I'm not feeling well. Sam will lay next to me and stroke my hair or arm. I think Dennis & I, along with their school educators, have taught our boys such important life lessons. The act of kindness. Giving to others less fortunate. Realizing how much they truly have and don't necessarily need. Compassion. Empathy. Love. Such fabulous little men. Our little mensches.
Your daddy and I are so proud of you both.
xxoo,
Dana
Wednesday, November 30, 2005 8:32 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
Are you there? Can you hear me? I really need to talk and I hope you don't mind listening. I have a lot on my mind tonight. So many thoughts.
I spent the better part of the beginning of last week preparing for our trip to California. Last Monday I actually missed a lunch meeting with Jason & Angie from the LLS as I never had a chance to check my calendar. Weak, I know! For some reason, I truly believe you all understand how much work and effort goes into leaving town. Our husbands go to work everyday (and many of the moms, as well) just leaving so much planning and preparation for us to achieve. In my case, I also get a housesitter/jaffiesitter/fishsitter to watch over things rather than put the other breathing creatures in a kennel. I can't really embelish this part of my life as I've been soooo lucky because Courtney, the kids sitter, and her beau, come and hang out as a little retreat. It's worked out perfectly for all of us and I'm so lucky they're willing to do this.
Last Tuesday, I was at school the entire day. I took the kids to school and then stayed to help prepare for the Thanksgiving Feast for the entire preschool. It was really fun and totally ridiculous as to what the children ended up with on their plates. There must have been 10 different items, of which the kids only ate the sweets......naturally. Anyway, it was just another reason why I happen to love their school. Dennis & I are in the process of evaluating schools for kindergarten. One of the many things I love about Levine Academy is that they welcome the parents in anytime. I can't imagine moving my children to a school that didn't advocate that concept.
Wednesday, I left with the kids in tow and headed to California, the bay area to be exact. It was my first time to fly alone with the kids. They did GREAT, with the exception of 7 lavoratory breaks. That was a bit much, but what's a mom to do? Arriving in Oakland and being met by Dennis' sister, Melissa and her son, Alex, was so fabulous!!!!! Melissa and I are so close and I just adore hanging out with her and the kids. Her kids are 14 and 16.....I guess I should refer to them as teens, duh! Anyway, we did some shopping for Thanksgiving; food, wine, desserts, stem ware, etc. and headed back home to pop one of the corks and just hang. The kids had a blast hanging with their cousins, until it was time for them to go be with their dad, Jeff. Jeff was having Thanksgiving with his family on Wednesday nite. Shayna/Melissa arranged for one of Shayna's friends to babysit for a couple of hours while Melissa and I proceeded to drink ourselves into oblivion. Hey, I haven't binged like that in a while and it was a good release.
Thursday was a day filled with cooking!!!!!! Melissa found some really wonderful recipes in her Cooking Light magazine that we tried. One was a recipe for stuffing that included bartlett pears, spicy turkey sausage, onions, carrots, celery, etc. It turned out delicious but took about 3 hours to prepare! Yikes!!!! I also made a cranberry, dried cherry, orange zest chutney that was totally awesome!!!! Yummy!!! We brined the turkey overnight and cooked it on Thursday. We had a total of 15 for dinner; 7 adults and 8 kids/teens. One of the women is a caterer so she brought the appetizers; crab cakes, dates stuffed with goat cheese and wrapped in bacon, and a phyllo appetizer as well. This was not your typical Thanksgiving meal to say the least.
The interesting and shitty thing about the whole feast was that by Saturday at 2am, the first of 8 people would end up with food poisoning or was it a HORRIBLE stomach virus? Who knows and the answer is indicative of who you ask. I really thought it was a flu, because all of us that contracted it felt bad for 1-4 days. I'm talking muscle aches; neck, shoulders, every single disc in your spinal cord, hips, etc. Chills one second, sweating the next, violent vomitting from 2x to the unimaginable, diarrhea, headache and nausea as if your were going through chemo. Trust me on this one; been there, done that.
The kids had their 5 yr check today with Dr. McDonald and as I was recalling the vomitous story he said, "That's food poisoning." I'm like how does food poisoning hit 36-48 hours out and have such lingering effects? He said there was no way it was a flu as it couldn't have spread that rapidly. Who knows? All I can say with complete certainty is......IT SUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The remainder of the weekend was spent with one person going to the pharmacy for Zofran while the others moaned and groaned, vomitted and cleaned up others messes. Quite a good time was had by all! Oy Vey.
Dennis started with his turn of the vicious vomitous at approximately 8:15pm on Saturday night, just five minutes after he called in a prescription for Phenergan suppositories. Fortunately, Melissa was having a 30 minute reprieve and was able to go and pick up the prescription. We had to ration those repulsive suppositories as we did with the ONE Zofran we got. Looking back, quite comical. At the time, the worst situation EVER!!!!
We woke up at 6am, just to throw our stuff in any and every suitcase available, brush our teeth and head to the airport. I brought trash bags in case anyone decided to toss their cookies on the plane. Fortunately, the flight was uneventful as were the lavoratory visits and we were safe and sound back in our home by 2:30pm.
I spent the whole day on Monday off and on as my body would allow, doing laundry and getting ourselves back together. I could stand for about 20 minutes, get nauseous, sit down and then do it all over again. Laundry took forever. I hate doing laundry anyway, it's such a mindless, unfulfilling task.
Tuesday morning at 5:30am it was Ethan's turn. Ethan isn't good with vomit, are any of us? So he naturally hurled in my bed and then proceeded to cry for the next 30 minutes. By 8:30am, I had had my fill of vomit and shit (pardon my french) and was ready to pack a bag and head to Tahiti. Lauren, unbeknownst to her, fielded that attempt by picking up Sam and getting him to school. Ethan was puny the remainder of the day but didn't vomit again until we ventured out to Dennis' office so I could have some labs drawn which would determine if I was, indeed, in menapause. While in his office, Dennis gave Ethan a piece of chocolate. Really? Are you freakin' crazy? A piece of rich, suggary chocolate to a kid that's been barfing? Lucky for Dennis, Ethan puked right on the floor of one of his examing rooms. Serves him right, if you ask me.
By yesterday evening, everyone seemed to be back to normal and definitely this morning we all felt like our old selves. Of course one of Sam's classmates, vomitted right in the middle of book corner today. Can you get this virus again so soon? G-d, I pray not.
Onto other more concerning things.
Sam began having diarrhea last Wednesday; the day we arrived in California. He still has it today. I have gone from one end to the other with regards to explanations. GVHD? C-Diff? Virus? I spent the better part of Sunday, once we arrived home, in tears. I was certain we were destined for 12 South. I fear that every freakin' day. I soooo desperately don't want to go back down that path, but I'm having a really difficult time not allowing my mind to wonder.
I've been treating Sam with Immodium in the am, so he can get through the day and it's been fine. Once he arrives home from school, he typically has 2 "loads" of it. Today, was a better day, in that, he only had one "load."
Sam had his Oncology appt. this am. Ethan was feeling perky enough, so I dropped him off at school and took Sam for his appt. In light of Jordan Morgan's most recent setback (relapse of AML in his spinal cord), I've been a pretty aweful basket case as of late. I tried to have a conversation with one of Sam's docs about my fears. Lets just say, I broke into tears. It didn't go the way I had hoped, yet if I truly dissect the conversation it was good news. The bottom line as interpreted by my good friend, Andrea, go live your life until I tell you not to. Easier said than done, right my CB friends? Today I was told that AML is different than other types of cancer. There are no routine follow up procedures; scans, mri's, bone marrow biopsies, etc. I was told it wouldn't change anything. I was told that if Sam relapses, we will know it with or without these scans. That was really hard to stomach. After all, I go in twice a year for mammograms and sonograms. Isn't early detection the key? Evidently, not the case in AML. I'm going to do my own research on this. I have to feel comfortable and content. I'm Sam's biggest advocate and I can't just sit back and let someone tell me this is how it is.
PLEASE, don't get me wrong. I believe wholeheartedly, that Sam's group of Oncologists are simply the BEST. But wouldn't it be irresponsible to accept everything we are told without doing any follow up on our own?
So that brings me current.
I went several days without checking email or checking in on my CB friends. I caught up on Sunday and Monday. Some of the kiddos are back in the hospital or awaiting what might surely be devastating news about recent tests/procedures/scans. One of my friends has recommended that I back off of the CB sites. Maybe I should check into some therapy for me, after all I've lived through my own cancer and the idea of mortality as well as my son's. She's worried that I'm not coping very well. I think I am. But maybe she's right. Do I seem out of sorts? If I bury my head in the sand about all of these kids how will I stay real? Sincere? Genuine?
I have a friend whom I've mentioned in the past. Her husband is dying of Glioblastoma (one of the most fatal forms of cancer; brain cancer.) Most people die within the first year of diagnosis at best. He has been kept alive for nearly 3 years post diagnosis due in part to a research study being done at UCLA. They have taken pieces of his tumor over the 3 year period and have created a vaccine from it to fight off the cancerous cells. Dennis, the kids and I went to visit him today. I spoke with his wife earlier today and she said he probably wouldn't make it til Christmas. Time was of the essence.
After the kids had their 5 year check today, I picked up Dennis and we headed over. We hadn't seen Kenny in several months. He's off all meds with the exception of his blood thinner, steroids and anti-seizure medication. He's blown up from the steroids which was not a shock (been there, done that.) He's not able to communicate, stand, move, feed himself, use the toilet, and basically anything and everything you could imagine. HOWEVER, he totally understands everything around him. The tumor has taken over the part of the brain that "feels" but not the part that understands. So basically, he can pretty much comprehend what's going on around him but he can't comment. A couple of special things happened while we were there. First: I told him I had just seen one of his twin boys (same age as mine) and mentioned he was "GORGEOUS!" Out of the blue Kenny repeated the word very clearly, "gorgeous." I felt such a sense of connection with him....but it gets even better. Once he connected who Dennis & I were, he seemed really into Dennis. Kenny, at one point, attempted to reach his hand towards Dennis' to shake it. Once they made that physical contact, Kenny had a little glimmer in his eyes. He would follow our conversations with his eye contact. At one point, I went and laid down on the bed with him. He was laying in the bed in a normal position and I was horizontal. Does that make sense? Anyway, I would be talking to his wife, Dennis and one of his friends (all to my left) but would always look to my right in an effort to include him in on the conversation. Each and everytime he made eye contact with me as if to say, I'm following you.
Dennis (and I) really wanted Sam to meet/re-meet Kenny; Ethan was way to busy playing with the Darth Vadar costume to be bothered. Dennis explained to Sam that Kenny was very sick; he has cancer. The first thing Sam asked Dennis prior to meeting Kenny was, "Daddy, he's not going to make it is he?" No, Sam he's not. "He's going to lose his fight with cancer, die and go to heaven." Yes, Sam that's right. Would you still like to meet him? "Sure!" So Sam took each stair as if he were on a mission. Once we crossed the threshold to the bedroom he became a bit apprehensive. I knew what he was thinking. "Can I catch this?" Without him saying it, I reassured him cancer was not a germ that was contagious. With that, Sam approached Kenny's bed, held out his hand to shake Kenny's and told him it was nice to meet him.
With that, Kenny and Sam connected; bonded. If Sam was in the room, Kenny's eyes would follow him. It was a magical experience. When it was time to go, Sam told him goodbye and that he would see him next time. Kenny reached out his arm and made his hand into a weird figure. It didn't take me long to figure out what Kenny was attempting to do. He wanted to "thump" Sam's belly. A gesture of love and connection. I held Sam close enough for Kenny to accomplish what was on his mind.
A moment in time that is now a permanent image in my mind.
One of my friends reminded me today, "Isn't life about creating memories?"
Of course it is. That's what it's all about.
I have some friends that are worried about me. I'm Okay. I promise I'm Okay.
Thank you for being there. Thank you for listening. Thank you for allowing me to talk.
xxoo,
Dana
Saturday, November 19, 2005 3:12 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
EVERYTHING IS FINE! I'm soooooo sorry for not updating in such a long time. I actually spent a good 40 minutes a few nights ago typing my post just to have my computer gobble it up and I couldn't recover it. That really irked me!
I have a lot on my mind. A lot of really good stuff and some crap as well. Another one of my little cb buddies died recently; Christopher, Melissa is really worried about her daughter Katsie and will be meeting with the doctors in Houston as well as Connnie and Madeleine are heading to Houston for some answers to her deterioration and finally 2 of the kids that were in the hospital when we were there (both kids with AML) are back in. One is back with breathing problems and the other has a large malignant tumor on his spinal cord. When I think about Jordan's situation, I can't breathe. It's just too close to home. He received the exact protocol as Sam, had a bone marrow biopsy compliments of his brother and has been doing perfectly! Now this. I'm really freaked out about it to say the least.
Our life has been so much fun lately. The kids had their birthday party last Sunday. We had about 42 kids and their parents at Power Kids. Power Kids is an organized gym with an amazing owner and staff. Rhonda and Donovan made this party a huge success. They kept these quite occupied in a non-hectic way. After the gym part of the party, the kids sat down to pizza and chicken. A very special guest arrived; Peter Pan to read one of his stories to them. You've never seen 40+ kids sit so quietly and listen so beautifully. The grownups on the other hand had to be shushed a few times. Peter Pan was actually Tyler Jones. Tyler is the older brother of Olivia Jones (Leukemia patient) and I believe her donor as well. Tyler and his family are very involved in locater theater and he agreed to take time out of his busy weekend, dress up and entertain the kids! Tyler, I can't thank you enough! You were just fabulous!
We sent an insert along in the kid's invitation, that asked for people to make a donation to Heroes for Children rather than sending gifts. We knew the boys would still receive some gifts so we weren't at all concerned that they would feel cheated in anyway. We collected $1208 from our amazingly generous friends. Isn't that just amazing? That $$$ will help approximately 2 families. Thank you my amazing friends and Levine Academy parents for honoring our children in this way. Such a beautiful mitzvah.
I've been really busy at the boys school lately volunteering. It's so much fun and I know this will probably be one of my last years to have the opportunity so I'm definitely seizing it.
Dennis and I are planning an adult getaway in January for his birthday and our 9th anniversary. I think we've narrowed it down to either Cabo or a cruise. Dennis loves cruising. To me, it's just toooooo much about the food, so I'm pushing for Cabo.
I leave with the kids on Wednesday for Oakland where we'll spend Thanksgiving with Dennis' sister, Melissa, whom I adore. Dennis will join us on Thursday.
I'm sure I could go on and on and on, but I won't. Please keep the above mentioned kids and their families in your hearts and prayers. There's a lot of yuck out there right now.
xxoo,
Dana
Sunday, November 6, 2005 9:46 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
It's going to be a philosophical one, so please indulge me.
So here I sit. Thirteen hours from now, I will reflect back 5 years and remember as my twin boys entered this crazy, unfair and uncertain world. I will reflect back to the moment when Sam's water broke at approximately 3am and Dennis refused to believe it had really happened. I will reflect back over the past 5 years that these children have been a real part of my life. I will remember hearing that Ethan was having trouble with his respiration and was immediately put on a vent. I will reflect upon all the incredible milestones these boys have accomplished. Rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking, talking, learning to drink from the sippy cup, learning to drink from a real cup, hearing them say, "I love you mommy.", walking into school via carpool for the first time, eating with utensils -vs- their hands, using the potty, riding a big boy bike -vs- a tricycle, learning to write their names, saying, "I love you daddy.", pouring their milk from the carton on their own, learning my first born, by one minute, has a rare form of Leukemia and could likely die, learning my first born, by one minute, will likely live as a result of a perfect match for bone marrow compliments of his younger, by one minute, twin brother. Tomorrow, I will reflect upon my journey with breast cancer, Sam's return to school and the children's progress in school. Tomorrow, I will reflect. I will be sad. I will be angry. I will rejoice for all that I have in my life. I will laugh. I will love. I will rejoice that we are still a family. Tomorrow, I will reflect and rejoice. So here I sit.
So here I sit and for some unknown reason, I learned only today that Brant Thomas died. How did this happen right under my nose? I check on this child daily or so I thought. This morning I began the process of checking on all my CB friends and came to realize Brant had died last Saturday????? How did I possibly miss this? Yesterday, I began to cry and just cry. Dennis questioned my emotion and I just said, "I'm sad. There's nothing you can say or do to change the way I feel at this moment. I'm just sad." Why was I sad? I could probably dive deep inside my heart to make sense of it, but for now, I was just sad. So here I sit.
Jacob's family held a prayer vigil tonight at 9pm eastern. Jacob is not doing well and is in the PICU. I didn't bend a knee but I did pay attention to the clock and my heart and thoughts went out to this family. I have gained so much strength and wisdom from this family. So here I sit.
So here I sit and reflect. I spent more than and hour tonight on my closet floor looking back through all of the pics we've taken since the kiddos were born. This was spawned as a result of school project for Ethan. I reminisced as I sorted through hundreds of pictures of the kids when they were just hours old, their 19 days in the NICU, their Bris, their first plane ride to Laguna Beach at 6 wks of age to visit my father who was dying of cancer, their first experience touching grass, their first trip to the pumpkin patch, their first birthdays celebrated at Solomon Schechter, their understanding of mommy losing her hair, their understanding that mommy's hair was growing back, their visit to the Texas State Fair, fabulous memories spent with family and friends and the list goes on and on. So here I sit.
As Dennis & I walk into the preschool tomorrow to join our children and their classmates to celebrate their 5th birthdays, I can assure you, we will reflect. We're still together. Our life is pure, meaningful and joyous. As I've said for so many months....we are so damn lucky.
So here I sit and am in awe of my girlfriends; Kristin, Lauren, Karla, Marlo and Tami who ran and/or walked the 1/2 Marathon at White Rock Lake. Many of them raising thousands of dollars for Team in Training, a LLS campaign.
So here I sit, finding myself constantly thinking about baby Maggie. Is she eating okay? Is she growing at a normal rate? Looking so forward to Jenny & Andrew hearing those words, "I love you Mommy. I love you Daddy."
So here I sit. And here I reflect.
To My Darling Children,
Happy Birthday my precious boys. I dreamed of you for years before you became our reality. You've taught Daddy and I so much in your short 5 years. We adore you and will honor your spirit, your will, your intellect and your hearts for eternity.
So here I sit.
xxoo,
Dana
Sunday, November 6, 2005 9:46 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
It's going to be a philosophical one, so please indulge me.
So here I sit. Thirteen hours from now, I will reflect back 5 years and remember as my twin boys entered this crazy, unfair and uncertain world. I will reflect back to the moment when Sam's water broke at approximately 3am and Dennis refused to believe it had really happened. I will reflect back over the past 5 years that these children have been a real part of my life. I will remember hearing that Ethan was having trouble with his respiration and was immediately put on a vent. I will reflect upon all the incredible milestones these boys have accomplished. Rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking, talking, learning to drink from the sippy cup, learning to drink from a real cup, hearing them say, "I love you mommy.", walking into school via carpool for the first time, eating with utensils -vs- their hands, using the potty, riding a big boy bike -vs- a tricycle, learning to write their names, saying, "I love you daddy.", pouring their milk from the carton on their own, learning my first born, by one minute, has a rare form of Leukemia and could likely die, learning my first born, by one minute, will likely live as a result of a perfect match for bone marrow compliments of his younger, by one minute, twin brother. Tomorrow, I will reflect upon my journey with breast cancer, Sam's return to school and the children's progress in school. Tomorrow, I will reflect. I will be sad. I will be angry. I will rejoice for all that I have in my life. I will laugh. I will love. I will rejoice that we are still a family. Tomorrow, I will reflect and rejoice. So here I sit.
So here I sit and for some unknown reason, I learned only today that Brant Thomas died. How did this happen right under my nose? I check on this child daily or so I thought. This morning I began the process of checking on all my CB friends and came to realize Brant had died last Saturday????? How did I possibly miss this? Yesterday, I began to cry and just cry. Dennis questioned my emotion and I just said, "I'm sad. There's nothing you can say or do to change the way I feel at this moment. I'm just sad." Why was I sad? I could probably dive deep inside my heart to make sense of it, but for now, I was just sad. So here I sit.
Jacob's family held a prayer vigil tonight at 9pm eastern. Jacob is not doing well and is in the PICU. I didn't bend a knee but I did pay attention to the clock and my heart and thoughts went out to this family. I have gained so much strength and wisdom from this family. So here I sit.
So here I sit and reflect. I spent more than and hour tonight on my closet floor looking back through all of the pics we've taken since the kiddos were born. This was spawned as a result of school project for Ethan. I reminisced as I sorted through hundreds of pictures of the kids when they were just hours old, their 19 days in the NICU, their Bris, their first plane ride to Laguna Beach at 6 wks of age to visit my father who was dying of cancer, their first experience touching grass, their first trip to the pumpkin patch, their first birthdays celebrated at Solomon Schechter, their understanding of mommy losing her hair, their understanding that mommy's hair was growing back, their visit to the Texas State Fair, fabulous memories spent with family and friends and the list goes on and on. So here I sit.
As Dennis & I walk into the preschool tomorrow to join our children and their classmates to celebrate their 5th birthdays, I can assure you, we will reflect. We're still together. Our life is pure, meaningful and joyous. As I've said for so many months....we are so damn lucky.
So here I sit and am in awe of my girlfriends; Kristin, Lauren, Karla, Marlo and Tami who ran and/or walked the 1/2 Marathon at White Rock Lake. Many of them raising thousands of dollars for Team in Training, a LLS campaign.
So here I sit, finding myself constantly thinking about baby Maggie. Is she eating okay? Is she growing at a normal rate? Looking so forward to Jenny & Andrew hearing those words, "I love you Mommy. I love you Daddy."
So here I sit. And here I reflect.
To My Darling Children,
Happy Birthday my precious boys. I dreamed of you for years before you became our reality. You've taught Daddy and I so much in your short 5 years. We adore you and will honor your spirit, your will, your intellect and your hearts for etenity.
So here I sit.
xxoo,
Dana
Sunday, November 6, 2005 9:46 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
It's going to be a philosophical one, so please indulge me.
So here I sit. Thirteen hours from now, I will reflect back 5 years and remember as my twin boys entered this crazy, unfair and uncertain world. I will reflect back to the moment when Sam's water broke at approximately 3am and Dennis refused to believe it had really happened. I will reflect back over the past 5 years that these children have been a real part of my life. I will remember hearing that Ethan was having trouble with his respiration and was immediately put on a vent. I will reflect upon all the incredible milestones these boys have accomplished. Rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking, talking, learning to drink from the sippy cup, learning to drink from a real cup, hearing them say, "I love you mommy.", walking into school via carpool for the first time, eating with utensils -vs- their hands, using the potty, riding a big boy bike -vs- a tricycle, learning to write their names, saying, "I love you daddy.", pouring their milk from the carton on their own, learning my first born, by one minute, has a rare form of Leukemia and could likely die, learning my first born, by one minute, will likely live as a result of a perfect match for bone marrow compliments of his younger, by one minute, twin brother. Tomorrow, I will reflect upon my journey with breast cancer, Sam's return to school and the children's progress in school. Tomorrow, I will reflect. I will be sad. I will be angry. I will rejoice for all that I have in my life. I will laugh. I will love. I will rejoice that we are still a family. Tomorrow, I will reflect and rejoice. So here I sit.
So here I sit and for some unknown reason, I learned only today that Brant Thomas died. How did this happen right under my nose? I check on this child daily or so I thought. This morning I began the process of checking on all my CB friends and came to realize Brant had died last Saturday????? How did I possibly miss this? Yesterday, I began to cry and just cry. Dennis questioned my emotion and I just said, "I'm sad. There's nothing you can say or do to change the way I feel at this moment. I'm just sad." Why was I sad? I could probably dive deep inside my heart to make sense of it, but for now, I was just sad. So here I sit.
Jacob's family held a prayer vigil tonight at 9pm eastern. Jacob is not doing well and is in the PICU. I didn't bend a knee but I did pay attention to the clock and my heart and thoughts went out to this family. I have gained so much strength and wisdom from this family. So here I sit.
So here I sit and reflect. I spent more than and hour tonight on my closet floor looking back through all of the pics we've taken since the kiddos were born. This was spawned as a result of school project for Ethan. I reminisced as I sorted through hundreds of pictures of the kids when they were just hours old, their 19 days in the NICU, their Bris, their first plane ride to Laguna Beach at 6 wks of age to visit my father who was dying of cancer, their first experience touching grass, their first trip to the pumpkin patch, their first birthdays celebrated at Solomon Schechter, their understanding of mommy losing her hair, their understanding that mommy's hair was growing back, their visit to the Texas State Fair, fabulous memories spent with family and friends and the list goes on and on. So here I sit.
As Dennis & I walk into the preschool tomorrow to join our children and their classmates to celebrate their 5th birthdays, I can assure you, we will reflect. We're still together. Our life is pure, meaningful and joyous. As I've said for so many months....we are so damn lucky.
So here I sit and am in awe of my girlfriends; Kristin, Lauren, Karla, Marlo and Tami who ran and/or walked the 1/2 Marathon at White Rock Lake. Many of them raising thousands of dollars for Team in Training, a LLS campaign.
So here I sit, finding myself constantly thinking about baby Maggie. Is she eating okay? Is she growing at a normal rate? Looking so forward to Jenny & Andrew hearing those words, "I love you Mommy. I love you Daddy."
So here I sit. And here I reflect.
To My Darling Children,
Happy Birthday my precious boys. I dreamed of you for years before you became our reality. You've taught Daddy and I so much in your short 5 years. We adore you and will honor your spirit, your will, your intellect and your hearts for etenity.
So here I sit.
xxoo,
Dana
Sunday, October 30, 2005 8:13 PM CST
Dear Friends and Family,
Another action-packed weekend full of activities, smiles, laughs and just all around joy in the Eisenberg household.
Thursday, we entertained the film makers, Jon & Suzanne with a lovely dinner spent outside. The weather in Dallas has just been glorious! Friday, Ethan's class did Shabbat and Dennis & I attended. Because he has missed the prior week while at Disney World, he really didn't know the song too well. Oh well, if you don't know the song your class is singing up on stage, you might as well just pick your nose. Yep! That's what our little darling did pretty much the entire time. Made for some great laughs I will say. Friday night the Eisenberg clan got together for dinner at Jack's favorite restaurant...Pietro's on lower Greenville. That man has been ordering spaghetti & meatballs at Pietro's for a kajillion years. We were celebrating the fact that he was diagnosed with a trace of prostate cancer on Monday but on Wednesday with his 2 sons close by found out the cancer was a very very slow growing tumor and NO treatment will be done at this time. He'll just be monitored closely. Jack is 86 years old and very active and vibrant. The family was thrilled with him not having to endure chemo or radiation at this stage of his life.
Saturday, Dennis went to his office for several hours to chart and the kids & I were on our own. They got haircuts....Sam's is extraordinarily short, thankfully it always grows back. I took them to Toys R Us to pick out new bikes for their birthday. They both wanted the Batman 16" one that comes with a bat phone and water bottle. Then we grabbed Chick Fil A, ate in the car and promptly hurried over to see Miss Maggie. Sam woke up on Saturday morning asking if he could finally see Maggie. Oh Boy is she a beautiful little girl. Each kid held her long enough for a picture, then I immediately took over until it was time for a feeding. I really wish we all lived in the same neighborhood so I could find reasons to knock on their door just to get another glimpse of Miss M. Last night my bookclub met and we allowed our husbands to attend. We all met at Tony's Wine Warhouse and Bistro. We had a great meal with a mini wine tasting and had a lot of good laughs. Typically at our monthly meetings the book of choice is only briefly spoken of. For some reason, our conversations always turn to sex. I don't know why. I doubt any of my other friend's book clubs turn to this topic, but for some reason ours always does. Not last night, however. We kept it very clean for our husbands. HA!
Today, Temple Shalom had it's annual Mitzvah Day. Nearly 900 volunteers turned out to perfom various projects for a number of agencies in Dallas. Judy & I co-chaired one committee. We had 5 different groups of children in 30 minute intervals decorating little bags. Then they stuffed them (in assembly line manner) with a variety of fun little toys and prizes. The finished 200+ bags were then delivered to Medical Ctiy Children's where they will be distributed to children who come through the Emergency Room. We had to be there at 7:15 (not an easy task for this woman) but it was a great success and I'm glad Judy roped me....oops I mean encouraged me to participate. This was the second year for this particular Mitzvah project. Last year, we were still in the hospital or just getting out. On each bag a sticker was placed saying, "In honor of our friend Sammy Eisenberg. AML Survivior." It meant alot to be a part of this project this year. With that said, Dennis was on kiddo duty. He got them breakfast, dressed and off to a 10am costume birthday party. Of course being Mother of Year, I totally forgot it was a costume party so this made Dennis look pretty bad. I felt horrible as you all know how much my kids LOVE to wear costumes. Oh well. I suck, what can I say. After the party they went by his parent's house for a quick visit and lunch then off to the grocery for some very random items the kids are supposed to take to school tomorrow. Sam has to take 2 mangos and 2 heads of garlic. Ethan has to take 1 head of garlic and a pineapple. This is for the continuation of the Sukkot learning phase. I think the kids are also going to make vegetable soup.
This afternoon I took the kids back to the toystore to pick up their bikes assembled. Halloween totally snuck up on me and Dennis called me to remind me to pick up a pumpkin. Can you believe we didn't even have one? One more notch in my M.O.Y. award! The kids had a blast riding their new bikes on the sidewalk and Ethan especially loved the pumpkin carving process. Or actually, Dennis called it a high-tech pumpkin this year as they cheated and used a drill. Still cute though.
The boys are in bed, Dennis is here charting and I'm gonna relax and finish watching Desperate Housewives.
I will leave you with a sad note. Brant Thomas died last night. Please stop by the familys CB site and let them know you're thinking of them. This was eminent but doesn't make it any easier to handle. Another one of my little buddies, Christopher, doesn't have much longer either. Will we live long enough to experience a cure for these deadly and dreadful diseases?
Love,
Dana
Wednesday, October 26, 2005 4:32 PM CDT
Dear Cyber Friends,
"It is as it was meant to be." Those words were spoken just after Allie took her final breath by Jenny. I remember typing them on Sam's site. Today, we all chanted those words again. Today, as my dear friend Andrea pointed out, we can begin focussing on life and not death. Amen Andrea.
I've never been part of anything that has so meaningfully truly come full circle. The anticipation and anxiety I felt prior to arriving at the hospital was at times a bit overwhelming. The fear of "what if" seemed to creep in my mind once too often. You know how it is...it's so much better being at an event personally than hearing about it or just wondering what's going on. I know you all were feeling that way as well, so I wanted to update you as often as possible.
There were lots of people in the room when the actual delivery took place. Dennis, Kym (Jenny's nurse), Tracy, Janet and 3 people from the NICU team, along with Jon & Suzanne (the film makers), the two moms (Sharon & Frances), Debbie (Jenny's best friend), Dr. Gill and me. I think that just about covers it. I'm pretty sure the Medical Center of Plano has never allowed so many in the room during a delivery.
Let me take you back just a bit. At around 12:20pm, everyone was out of Jenny's room awaiting lunch to be delivered via the "moms". The lights were off and the blinds closed and Jenny was peacefully dozing. I was right next to her paying some bills and doing some paperwork. She opened her eyes and said she was beginning to have some heartburn so I went in search for her nurse. I was gone about 30 seconds, came back into the room and Jenny casually mentioned she was feeling a little pressure. "Jenny, would you like me to go and Kym to check?" "Nah, I think I'm fine." Just about that time Kym came in to follow up on the heartburn issue and Jenny told her about the little bit of pressure. Kym checked Jenny and said, "Oh! Hello!" She was ready! She said for me to call Dennis which I promptly did, and Janet (Director of Women's Services) would go and rally the team. Jenny asked me to stay with her. (I just loved playing the female supporting role in this academy award winning movie- HA!) Andrew arrived and called the Mom's to say step it up or you're gonna miss your grand daughter's arrival. Fortunately, they were just in the parking lot and hussled up stairs.
The nursing team and Dennis prepared Jenny to begin pushing. I stayed right behind Dennis the whole time. I wanted to see EVERYTHING! I mean come on? How often do you get to witness something like this?
Andrew and Sharon (Jenny's mom) held her legs while Kym and Tracy verbally coaxed her to push. After a few minutes it was apparent Jenny really couldn't feel much so Dennis had the epideral turned off. Maggie came out pretty quickly after that. The room erupted in laughter, clapping and tears! I've never cried at a delivery before, not even my own, but boy was I a mess!
Maggie's apgars were 8 at the one minute mark and I believe a 9 at the five minute mark. She's perfect.
You know how most vaginal birth babies resemble a monkey or a bird? Yes, you do! I swear to you that Maggie is gorgeous. She "pinked" right and just looks so beautiful. She definitely has Jenny's nose but beyond that time will tell. She has a lot of dark hair with perhaps a tint of auburn. Her cries sounded like little kitten cries. She's awnery and as of an hour ago has not even slept.
Jenny's already nursed her twice and she seems to be latching on well. Jenny wasn't able to nurse Allie so this would be huge if it works. I wish you could have seen Andrew. God, what a doll. You have all heard how incredibly calm he is....and he is. He was a bit nervous I think while Jenn was pushing but once Maggie was out....Oh My Gosh, he was all smiles. He hasn't held a baby since Allie died, not even Larissa's baby Luke. He wanted to hold his own before anyone else's.
I couldn't be more humbled than I am as I write this. Jenny and Andrew have allowed Dennis & I to be part of two of the most private and precious moments in their lives. Wow, as I've said sooo many times, I am one lucky girl.
Jenny just called and wants you all to know how much your support has meant to her over the past year ++. She's feeling great and that "little stinker" as Jenny fondly remarked has STILL not fallen asleep and is eating like a champ.
"It is as it was meant to be."
All our love and gratitude!
Dana, Dennis, Sam & Ethan
Wednesday, October 26, 2005 1:15 PM CDT
Margaret Elizabeth Scott entered the world at 1:01pm after Jenny pushed for about 12 minutes. She weighed in at 7 pounds 9 ounces and is 21 inches long.
She's gorgeous and mom and baby are fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank You God!!!
Dana
Wednesday, October 26, 2005 12:43 AM CDT
We're ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They're setting up the room as I type and she shouldn't have to push long!!!!!
Oh MY Gosh!!!!!!!
Dana
Wednesday, October 26, 2005 11:51 AM CDT
Quick Update....
It's 11:55am and Jenny was checked by Dennis almost an hour ago. She's dilated to a 5, 90 percent effaced and at a -1 station. She just had her epideral by my all time favorite anesthesiologist, Dr. Gill, aka: gasdude! Dennis predicts delivery around 2:30 but I think it will be sooner!
I'll update again soon!
xxoo,
Dana
Wednesday, October 26, 2005 10:49 AM CDT
Dear Cyber Friends....
Here's a quick update!
Jenny's at about a 3-4 centimeters dilated as of 9:50am and she's 75 percent effaced and still a -3. So she's progressing in all areas except how high Maggie is. When Dennis broke her water, there was meconium therefore, the NICU team will be present at her birth. She's had a dose of Nubane to take the edge off and seems to be tolerating the contractions well. They're coming about every 2-4 minutes. We're expecting her to ask for her epidural soon.
Stay tuned!
Love,
Dana and the whole mispacha (family in yiddish)
Tuesday, October 25, 2005 8:29 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
Let me deter you all from thinking based upon my last update....that there is a bun in the over, specifically my oven. Not only is there no bun, but my oven door is pad locked. I can promise you I will never steer you down that path. I was referring to Jenny's delivery.....not me being knocked up.
Jenny has not delivered. She is, however, on her way to check into Medical Center of Plano. She will get all situated and will have Cytotec inserted. This comes in pill form and helps ripen the cervix. Sometimes this is enough to put a patient into labor. Tomorrow morning at approximately 6am, she will begin Pitocin which will begin the labor process. At around 8am, Dennis will break her water if it has not already happened. Jenny saw Dennis today and she was dilated to a 1 and was 50 percent effaced so she's on her way. The baby is still at a -3 station and must get to a +3. This means Maggie is really still very high and has not dropped. Jenny is 39 weeks gestation and measuring 42 weeks. This baby has the potential of being a big one. With that in mind, Dennis will follow her closely tonight and tomorrow and not allow Jenny to labor for 18 hours and push for over 2 as she did with Allie. If Maggie doesn't make significant progress coming down the canal and/or if Jenny doesn't make normal strides at dilation, then a c-section will be considered.
Dennis and I were supposed to have dinner with Jenny, Andrew and the film makers from California tonight, but I lost my gumption and poor Dennis just got home after doing 4 hysterectomies and seeing 24 patients. This is NOT a typical day for Dennis.
I'm hoping to get to the hospital by about 9:45am. I'll be with Jenny whether she has a vaginal delivery or a c-section. I've been in the room for both and am soooooo excited about seeing Maggie right away.
I'm gonna try and dial in from her L&D room and give updates as often as possible, however, that would tie up her phone line. We'll see but I will give you an update just as quickly as I can. We were laughing yesterday envisioning me on the computer while she's pushing and I'm typing, "I see her head!" Wouldn't that be fabulous. Just like you were all experiencing it with her. She's geared up for a very tearful day. So many emotions will come into play. I'll try to log as much of the day as I can so I can recount it for you tomorrow.
Pray for a safe delivery with a healthy little outcome!
Love,
A very excited and nervous Dana!
Sunday, October 23, 2005 7:40 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
We're Back!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW, what an incredible week we had at Disney World, and thankfully made it out of Orlando before Wilma hit Florida. Or did it? I don't think I've watched the news all weekend. Anyway......
The week was really fun and fabulous! The kids were....well.....they were typical kids there age. They had a ball, they fought, they got cranky if in the heat too long and they sang and danced and laughed and rode every rollercoaster that they met the height requirements for. Seeing your kids experience something like Disneyworld is just simply magical. The entire week I kept my eyes out for what I thought might be a Make a Wish kid. I'm sure I saw a few of them and it melted my heart.
We rode buses, limo's, suv's, boats, a ferry and the monorail. One thing about Disney is they make it really easy to maneuver the parks. Once I figured it all out, I was able to take the kids out of my own while Dennis was at his conference. You really have to do it once to discover how to do it better the next time.
We stayed at the Coronado Springs which is where Dennis' conference was. The room was extremely small which made for some angst at times, but the property was vast and very kid friendly. We were there for the first 5 nights. Then we moved to The Wyndam Palace because I had won 2 free nights through an silent auction this past spring. I had upgraded us to a suite so now I'm paying for the room but not much. The room was huge BUT the property was a complete DUMP!!!! Nothing about this place was geared towards kids with the exception of a couple of small arcade rooms. The shower had mold and mildew from the bottom to the top. YUCK!!!!! I was just too exhausted to complain and have to pack again once I realized the shower issue. Anyway, that the only thing bad about the trip so obviously the trip was an overall success.
We knew going into this trip it was going to be a few days too long. And it was. Five days at Disney is ideal and next time we'll stay at either The Polynesian or The Grand Floridian. Nice properties with lots of fun stuff for the kids to do as well as it's on the monorail system. If anyone is going anytime soon, email me and I'll share my little "pearls" with you.
After arriving home Friday afternoon at 3pm-ish, I unpacked, did laundry, sorted through the mail, and got readjusted to reality. Saturday we all got geared up for our Light the Night Walk. I have no idea how much $$ 12 South brought in or how many attended the walk, but I can tell you it was bigger and better than last year. I know we didn't bring in the $$ we did last year but overall it was such a huge success. The staff at The LLS really have this walk down pat. I'll let you know our results once they've been tallied. It was great to see Kayla, Kandis and her daughter, Olivia, as well as lots of others at the walk. Today we spent a few hours with the Smith's and Zlotky's as well as some old friends of Dennis' from Houston, the Kapp's. The idea was to have brunch in their Sukkot, however, the weather in Dallas was a little too brisk and definitely too windy so we retreated inside. The kids all played so nicely together. It really helped that the Kapp kids are all girls. It balanced out the 6 boys.
I finally have to wave my little white flag. I'm spent! I've officially lost my voice and have just been wiped out today. Dennis told me it was time to "simplify". I'm finally at that point and so happy to be there. I even canceled on my dear friends, the Jacoby's, to spend tiime at their Sukkot tomorrow night. Thankfully, Karla is a good enough friend to totally get it. My days of fundraising will be tapering for the remainder of the year and now I have a new project. IT'S ME!!!!!! I have decided I will be my next project. It's time to focus on me and getting this weight off and back into a routine exercise program. I'm looking forward to this idea of simplifying my life. We've been on a crash course, so to speak, for more than a year now. Now if I can just stay focussed.......
We're in countdown mode with Jenny and the arrival of baby Maggie. Everything is in place including a few surprises we have up our sleeves. I just can't wait!
I didn't have a chance to check on my CB kids while at Disney but spent more than an hour yesterday getting caught up. I'm especially saddened to learn that Jacob is back in the hospital and as of the last update, he was in the PICU (I believe.)
Well, this week is stacked up to be a really exciting one. It's time for me to sign off and get my little chickens to bed. I hope you all have the best week ever and be sure to check Sam's site as I'm sure we'll have some special news!
I'll post Disney pics tomorrow when I'm a little rejuvenated.
xxoo,
Dana
Thursday, October 13, 2005 8:39 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
WE'RE GOING TO DISNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're almost all packed and I'm hoping the kids will be able to sleep tonight amidst their excitement.
The past 2 weeks have been a whirl wind. Too many events and functions to name but thankfully the high holidays are over and we all survived the fast.
I spent a couple of hours at the HFC office today getting Jenny organized so she could comfortably leave her desk for the next few weeks. She had a mountain of paperwork that needed to be filed so we got busy! The poor girl is as big as a house and bending down is not in the cards right now. We went through every single piece of paper. I really felt like we worked well and got quite a bit of business in order.
Tomorrow is the HFC golf tournament. There was such an overwhelming response that they had to open up a morning flight. A very good position to be in. This single event will net HFC more $$ than we've ever seen. The company is going gang busters thanks to the help of so many of you!
I don't have a lot to report other than my sweet friend Lynn had her surgery today and it was a greater success than any of the surgeons could have hoped for. I know she'll post in a couple of days and I don't want to steal her thunder but I know how worried many of you are that have been following her story. She arrived at Baylor at 5am just to be put off until noon. That sucked and wasn't a good way to start this scary process but believe me it got much better. The surgery was not as long as anticipated and what they found once in was nothing short of a miracle. The tumor was on top of a cluster of lymph nodes all of which were removed. Some of her pectoral minor was removed but none of the pectoral major. This is a big deal! It was also determined that the area of the axilla where the tumor was, was "cold" meaning no previous radiation had ever been targeted to that one spot. This means she gets to forego the radioactive pellets and all the miserable catheters/tubes and soon will receive traditional radiation. I know this is alot to follow but just know.....it's the best possible news she could have ever received. Holly, thank you so much for the detailed update and give Lynn all of our love. Lynn will be released tomorrow.
Dennis is STILL trying to stay focussed and get packed. Very typical. He just announced, "You know I'm shaving my head." What are you talking about? "I'm shaving my head on this trip." Why? "Just to see how it looks." NOT!!!! I swear he's officially lost it. The boy needs as much as he can muster.
I really don't have much to report other than I'm going to be saying a little prayer everyday that Maggie waits for us to return. I feel comfortable knowing Jenny will really lay low after tomorrow's marathon golf tournament. We packed her up with plenty of light work to keep her busy from her couch. Hopefully Brandy will give her a break. That freakin' dog is sooooo spoiled!
That's it for now! I will be checking on my CB kids and adults and checking email. I hope you all have a really loving, productive, fulfilling and joyous week. I know we will.
xxoo,
Dana
Thursday, October 6, 2005 9:17 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
What another fabulous week! Sam and Ethan have been nothing but delicious lately. Seriously, they have been sooooo helpful! They love it when I catch them doing something good. I give them so much positive reinforcement that they are really doing their best to get recognized. They've been doing fantastic with regards to falling asleep in their own rooms. Of course, at some point during the wee hours they each find their way down to my bed, but I'm just so fine with that. It still gives me a couple of hours in the evening to check on my caringbridge kids and adults.
This morning, Ethan woke up before Sam which is always the case, and looked at me with that gorgeous smile and those yummy dimples and said in a thoughtful whisper, "I love you Mom! I hope I'm in your heart forever." Oh my darling angel where else could you possibly be? Then he proceeded to tell me he was a funny little mensch. A mensch is a yiddish word for a really good guy. My interpretation but I'm sure Galit or someone out there can provide a better definition.
The boys are just soooo charming. They are so engaging with everyone and anyone they come in contact with. I could not be anymore proud of these two little men than I am.
Rosh Hashanah was this week (the Jewish New Year) with Yom Kippur following next week (our day of atonement). These are considered to be the high holy days in our faith. Monday night we had 17 for dinner. It was so much fun! We had brisket, noodle kugel, carrot & fruit tsimmes, salad, rosemary new potatoes, and homemade matzo ball soup. I cooked my tush off but everything turned out really good. The company was also great. Jay, Jamie and the kids, Dennis' parents, my brother, Greg, and Kristin and her family including her parents who came in from NM. We ate and ate and ate.....oh yeah and drank and drank and drank! :)
Tuesday, the kids went over the Jacoby's while Dennis and I attended services. The kids had swimming lessons that day and I went ahead and took them. This is a day of NO WORK, but I considered swimming fun. Again, my interpretation!
Wednesday the kids were out of school for the holiday so we spent a fun filled day getting my hair cut (didn't realize they were out of school when I booked that one), stopping by The LLS for a little housekeeping, then to Boston Market for lunch. The 3 of us were sitting down eating when I noticed this really tall guy at the checkout. I overheard another customer mention something about a game, so I knew he was either a Dallas Maverick or a Dallas Cowboy. I told Sam to go over and ask him if he was a basketball or football player. When the man turned around, I almost choked. He pretended to be really offended by the question. Sam asked him his name....Michael. Holy Cow it was Michael Irwin or is it Irvin (sorry it's been a while). Anyway he's one of the all time Dallas Cowboy greats! He then came over to our table and chatted a bit with the kids. I told them this man was a really special man who could run really fast with a football. Too bad they're too young to really appreciate it. Anyway, I was flattered that he was so gracious as I've heard he typically isn't interested in being bothered out in public.
Last night was Dennis' night with the kids as I had dinner with Faith. We could not believe how long it had been since we had seen each other. Criminal! Anyway, we had the best time getting caught up.
Today was back to school and lots of getting caught up with paperwork and emails. I also spent a couple of hours with Jenny at the HFC office doing some data entry. Tomorrow is another crazy one as I'm hosting a handbag/accessory trunk show at the house but have a million things to do so I'll only be in attendance sporadically. If you're interested in coming and don't know our address, send me a personal email to: danaeisenberg@yahoo.com.
That's the scoop for the week! Can you even believe how my buddy Jacob is doing? Jacob might be the one person who convinces me that miracles can really happen. I just adore this family and yet realize I'll never probably meet them. I just want the very best for them. The mommy is such an incredibly spiritual woman and because she wasn't ready to give up on her kid even when the docs were, Jacob is alive and well today.
Also, please don't forget to check on my darling friend, Lynn Newman, who is now getting ready for the fight of her life. Her cb site is: /tx/lynnnewman. Love ya babe!
Oh and by the way, as of today, our little Maggie is breech again. Oy Vey!
Have a beautiful weekend with your family!
xxoo,
Dana
Friday, September 30, 2005 9:59 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
Well....it's official! Dennis has FINALLY (after more than a year) taught me how to put up new pics! I promise from this point forward you will get to see our crazy family in a whole new way.
Lots of really exciting stuff happening starting with Larissa gave birth to baby Luke today at 1:42pm. He weighed in at 7 pounds 11 ounces (I believe) and was 20 inches long. He's simply gorgeous! Really, no mishappen head as a result of being in the canal too long or anything. Since she's such a veteran at this child bearing game, she only pushed once. Mommy, daddy, big sisters and grandparents are all revelling in the joy of a newborn!
Jenny is stressed out trying to finalize details on the upcoming Heroes golf tournament. If you are available for some volunteer time, she could really use some help. Cameron will be in the HFC office on Monday and I will be there Thursday and Friday.
I'm gearing up for a very very busy next couple of weeks. A full weekend with a Make a Wish art party tomorrow followed by a birthday party and Charlotte's Web at the Dallas Children's Museum. Monday marks Erev Rosh Hashonah (eve of Rosh Hashonah) and I'm having 17 for dinner. Fortunately, I did all the grocery shopping this afternoon and Dennis will help out with a new Tsimmes recipe. Tuesday we'll be at services and the kids will play with Jacoby's. Friday, I'm hosting a very cool bag/accessory party for a designer out of Austin. Ten percent of all proceeds will go to our Light the Night team; 12 South Angels. It runs from 10-4 and I'll post more details about it on Monday. The following Monday my darling girls from Brinker International are hosting a happy hour at The Gingerman down in the Quadrangle. Twenty dollars gets you in the door, food, 1 drink ticket and live music. All money collected that night will also go back to 12 South Angels. Again, I'll get everything updated by Monday. We also are excited about a fundraising event at The Learning Express @ Tollway and Parker. We will have one week in October and one in December where if you mention The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (October) and Heroes for Children (December)then 20 percent of your purchase will go back to that charitable organization. I'm so excited about this fundraiser. I'll post the exact dates on Monday as well. The reason I'm putting it all off is because I'm typing upstairs and my calendar is down.
Less than 4 weeks and counting until Maggie makes her appearance. Having Larissa deliver today really puts it into perspective for Jenny. She's just oozing with excitement. I do worry, however, with the added stress of having Larissa out for a few weeks that Jenny's last few weeks of pregnancy will be effected. Please help me encourage her to take it easy.
Sam is still WIDE AWAKE since I'm typing in his "new" room so I'll sign off for now. Enjoy our new pics and keep checking as now I'll update them more often. Yippee!!!
Nighty Night!
Love,
Dana
Monday, September 26, 2005 9:50 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
"Our life is GRAND....Go for the Gusto!!!!" Those were the words Dennis mentioned to me on Saturday morning. They've stuck....yet I haven't "performed" to the statement. Meaning....I haven't taken control over my weight and exercise program. I'm such a fair weathered friend to the gym. I'm totally into it one week, then bored the next. I've started doing NIA dance again and that has proven to provide me with a little variety. This fabulous studio really close to my home, Studio Moves, or is it Moves Studio? offers such an array of classes from; yoga, pilates (mat or no mat) to NIA and beyond. It's a really spiritual venue and I always feel invigorated after a class there. I do, however, feel like a total LOSER with regards to the gym I joined and the trainer I worked with. Now I'm just so embarrassed, I have to take a breather from that facility. I was really on track for a few weeks, but then we vacationed and I never really got back in the groove. A few days here....a few days there.
Dennis and I had the most fabulous weekend! Packed full of activity! Friday night, we had his parents and the Smith's over for Shabbat dinner. I cooked my very first whole beef tenderloin with a creamy horseradish sauce, rosemary new potatoes and green beans almondine. I also made a homemade banana pudding. Just felt a little adventurous and had a "hankering" for the pudding. Everything, fortunately, turned out totally delicious!
Saturday night, Dennis and I had an all year class reunion. It was our High School's 40th anniversary and Dennis & I both graduated from W.T. White although we were 2 years apart and never knew each other. It was quite a ride. We started at Maguires with Judy & Chris and had a great meal. Chris also graduated from our alma mater so we all went to the reunion together. Long story short....it was a total blast. I was really surprised at how good the girls looked. Their faces had few signs of wrinkles or aging. The last reunion my class (1982) had I missed as I was bald and didn't want my classmates to remember me in this way. Dennis was so excited to hook up with some of the girls he adored in high school. He, Carrie, Susie and Julie spent pretty much the entire evening getting caught up. The girls came over on Sunday for brunch and we all had a great time looking at our year books.
Sunday night was a night I won't soon forget. It was an incredible black tie evening at The Westin (@ the Galleria) to commerate The Dallas Holocaust Museum and the local survivors. They had originally expected 30 survivors/liberators to attend but due to the influx of hurricane victims, the number totalled 70. It wasn't until the very end of the program that we realized we had several survivors sitting directly behind us. We were able to turn right to them and give them a standing ovation. I addressed each one that I could with a greetings and thanks for being part of such a memorable event. They were the most gracious of individuals. If you think about it, they are all in their 80's and soon will not be here to recount their personal memories of that horrific time in our world. Dennis and I shed quite a few tears last night. Tears of disbelief mainly. Disbelief that this travisty occurred and that anyone survived. Disbelief!
Today was a beautiful and special at the kid's school. Due to an unprecedented donation, the elementary school has now been renamed, The Ann & Nate Levine Academy. Ann & Nate Levine's daughter. Abby and her husband, Daniel, shared our table last night. We've enjoyed getting to know this incredible family.
Dennis & I have synched schedules and I have now gotten babysitting coverage through November. WOW!!!! We are 2 very busy people. I received an invitation to become a member of the steering committee for the JFS (Jewish Family Services) Woman to Woman event next spring. I'm really looking forward to participating in this event as it will provide me the opportunity to meet alot of new girls.
This is my life for the time being. I am becoming a philanthropist and fundraiser. How could I ask for a better life? I am so fulfilled each and everyday. Two of my most precious men are sharing my bed; Sam & Dennis. Sam is sound asleep and Dennis is charting. My beloved Ethan is peacefully sleeping in his own bed.....what a mensch!
The boys brought home Tzedakah (sp?) boxes this afternoon and immediately went into my closet where our change jar is kept. They filled up their boxes and said they needed to give money to the poor people and to the people who lived where the hurricanes hit. How could I possibly love a school more than this one? They are so committed to teaching the fundamental basics of Judaism and I so appreciate hearing my children really "getting" it. I did, however, have to enforce a rule of filling up their Tzedakah boxes only once per week. Hey! I thought that change jar would put them through college one day! :)
My kids are simply delicious and beautiful and I thank you once again for indulging me. May your week be filled with contentment and enthusiasm for life.
xxoo,
Dana & Family!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005 10:09 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
At approximately 9:35pm this evening Dennis and I sat on the bed listening to JACK FM; 100.3 awaiting Sam's public service announcement. We had been listening for a few minutes when it finally came on. From the moment we heard his little voice, the tears began to flow. I was surprised that Dennis & I experienced the exact same emotion. We've heard the PSA several times as we have a copy on our computers, but hearing it actually on the radio was so overwhelming.
I would venture to say we are the PROUDEST parents in the entire world. Naturally, we all feel that way. There is simply nothing better in life than being a parent. I recently asked him if he ever in his wildest dreams, thought parenting would be this fulfilling. The anticipated response, "No."
I typically always park and walk the boys into school. This morning I had a few things to do before my exercise class (Nia) so I dropped them off in carpool line. Watching my little guys walk away from the car, barely even mumbling a simple "bye mom" with their backpacks securely on was just a picture perfect moment. Sam announced to Esther that he had oreo cookies for dessert and she gave both kids a high five as I drove away with the biggest smile on my face. I never imagined how amazing it would be to be a mom.
Jenny and Andrew came over for dinner tonight. Unfortunately, it was very spontaneous and we could have used some more fajita meat for the fajitas. Oh well, we ate pretty well and filled all the belly gaps with chips and salsa. Jenny thinks maybe, just maybe, baby Maggie has made a transition in position. We are all hoping she'll turn....otherwise a C-Section is in her very near future. Tonight Dennis said, "Aren't we ready to have this baby already?" Jenny reminded him that we have another 5 weeks to go. It's funny to see Dennis excited about a delivery after he's done a bazillion in his career. Dennis also asked Jenny if he was going to be in town on their induction/section date. I swear that man would lose his head if it weren't..........well, you know where I'm going with this.
Larissa is due at any minute. She's 50 percent effaced but hasn't started dialating yet. I'm sooooo surprised her OB/GYN hasn't scheduled an induction date. She's always gone into labor on her own, but just knowing the many, many Plano docs....they ALL schedule inductions. I gave her some grief tonight re: having a FEMALE Ob/Gyn. That has to be the problem, right! Okay, I'm a little biased in that department.
The kids are sound asleep and Dennis is doing his charts. His least favorite thing to do in the entire world. My prayer tonight is that remission lasts. We spent over an hour on a conference call last night for the huge national Friends of Allie (FOA) team. A woman named Kathy told her story of her adorable little guy named Wyatt who was incredibly premature, spent months in the hospital just to be released and only a few weeks later diagnosed with AML. As all the listeners tuned into her story, the tears just flowed and flowed. It brought back alot of Allie's story to me. I don't go a day without thinking about last year in some shape or form. Hearing Kathy's story just brought so much back to the forefront. Mother's of children with cancer are hypersensitive. That goes without saying. We scrutinize each and every pain, complaint, headache, stomach ache, weird looking poopie, etc. I think we're just waiting for relapse. Doesn't it happen to every kid? The answer is NO and at some point we have to believe our kids won't relapse even though we are constantly reminded of the many who do. I truly in my heart hope that one day I won't worry about relapse. I hope I live that long.
I guess I really don't have much to discuss tonight other than Dennis informing me that Sam's site has received over 1200 "hits" over the past 24 hours. I told him it was the same people checking over and over for a current post. Who knows?
Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are remarkable women and men. You bless me daily. You encourage me beyond belief, you lift me up, you are the most amazing support system in the entire world. You are saving me tons of $$$ on therapy. :) And for that....Dennis thanks you. Ha!
Check on my darling friend Lynn. Her CB site is /tx/lynnnewman. She just found out she has recurrent disease. This is her 2nd recurrence. We are all devastated for Lynn and her family. Dennis is taking this news really, really hard. He's been flat for the past 48 hours and I know it's due to Lynn's news. She is the kind of woman that you would instantly like and actually love. I don't know any other woman within my group of amazing friends that you would have that instant connection with.
Sleep well and love your family more today than you did yesterday and almost as much as you will tomorrow!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Monday, September 19, 2005 10:19 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
Oh Boy (as my Aunt Shoe says), we have had yet another really, really, really great week. I hope you don't mind if I share some happiness with you. I hope you don't think I take a single second of it for granted. I don't. We are a very lucky family right now.
Dennis & I had such a fun week. We had two dinner dates with friends we hadn't seen in a very long time. First, we joined Jim and Jill Gill at Positano's. They hadn't been there and we all just loved being together and the food was fabulous! The conversation just flowed and the company was so easy to be with. Jim leads a medical mission to Guatemala each spring. Two years ago, Dennis joined him and had the most amazing and gratifying time. Jim is an Anesthesiologist and actually my personal "gas man!" He's put me under three times; 2 D&C's and 1 body beautification (too bad the body's not very beautified at this moment in time.") I just love this couple. Dennis and I came away from that meal with such a satisfied feeling. It was so great to spend time with people we care about and yet so rarely see.
On Friday night, at the prompting of his wife, Phyl, we surprised Dennis' long time best friend, Eric, at Oceannaire. We were neatly tucked into an upstairs booth and he never even saw it coming. Oh my gosh, that man is the ultimate story teller. I swear he should find a way to make a living off of telling stories. He's hysterical! Again, we spent time with people we really love and yet rarely get to see. Dennis & Eric grew up one street apart and have been friends since Elementary school, I believe. We've traveled together, planned parties together, given each other parties, and have shared many a glass of "anything" together. I was actually feeling a little rough Saturday morning as a result of the previous night's indulgences. Indulgences??? Is that a word?
Saturday I took the boys to see Valiant. Dennis had to get some work done so it was just me and the kiddos. They loved the movie, I, on the other hand, found my mind wondering a lot! Oh well, I've never been very good at G Rated movies. That night we met the Smith's for dinner then went over to the Plano Balloon Festival. Our goal was to get there for the Moon Glow. Unfortunately, we were too late and missed seeing the balloons altogether. We did, however, get to see the fireworks so it wasn't a total bust.
Sunday, we just lounged around in the morning and spontaneously decided to take the kids to Six Flags. Dennis has been promising the boys for weeks he'd take a day off from work and take them. This was the perfect opportunity. After a few snafu's, we were off but not before Dennis was TOTALLY frustrated. He had something set in his mind and no matter how hard he tried to accomplish his task, at every turn he was defeated. It took a while for him to recover, but he eventually did.
I haven't been to Six Flags for probably 30 years. I've never been much into fast rides thus the lack of desire. However, now having kids that happen to LOVE rides, I've finally started getting into them. Six Flags has a great area for toddlers. Lots of fun rides and games to play. They each won 2 identical stuffed animals (okay, with a little help from mom & dad.) They were in heaven. Dennis rode the Batman rollercoaster and with quite a bit of prodding, Mr. Freeze. I could tell he wanted to ride Mr. Freeze but was nervous. I encouraged him (or was it pushing?) and we all went together to where he boarded. Oh my G-d, he was scared! He loved it but was a bit shaky when he got off the ride. The whole ride lasts 42 seconds and goes from zero to seventy in like 3.4 seconds. I felt sorry for him, but he was such a trooper. I wouldn't be caught dead on that ride. I swear, if someone offered me a million bucks, I wouldn't do it. I'm way too chicken.
Towards the end of our day and after we went on the boat in the water ride (for lack of knowing the exact name), we headed over to the adult game area. This is where you are NOT guaranteed to win a prize. Dennis walks over to a game that there was no way in hell he could win. I got kind of nasty with him and said something to the tune of, "why don't you just give the guy your money and walk away? you know you can't win this game!" Yuck! Wouldn't you hate to be married to me at this particular time? Anyway, it was the game where there are 3 wooden cubes stacked on top of each other and you have to throw a baseball and knock them all off of the platform. Wouldn't you know it? He nailed it on the first try! I swear my mouth dropped and I couldn't put it back in place for 20 minutes. So we rode one more rollercoaster with kids and lett Six Flags with 4 adorable stuffed dogs and 1 four and half foot green Scoobie Doo! Too fun and too funny!
Tonight, Dennis was asked by the hospital to speak at a bi-annual meeting of mother's expecting twins. I was also asked to speak. It was truly my first time to see Dennis in action after all of these years. He was flawless. I was just so impressed. He did it with only a glance here and there of his hand written notes. He didn't prepare a boring power point presentation but he did elaborate points by drawing diagrams on a large easel and pad. I told him how great he did and he truthfully had no idea. He thought he fumbled a lot. NOT! I told him the sign of a good speaker is when you get lots of audience participation and questions. He got a lot of questions. I was just really proud of him and FINALLY realized why his patients adore him. He's very thorough in his explanations yet never makes the patient feel inadequate for questioning something. I followed him and probably did fumble around a bit. Oh well, it was a first for us to speak together and I really loved our connection.
Tomorrow night Jenny & I will participate in a National conference call for Friends of Allie. I'm really excited to hear all about the amazing updates and things these woman across the country are doing.
Lastly, Sam's radio commercial for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society begain airing today on Jack FM; 100.3. I never caught it but if you're local please tune in.
One last note, Lynn, if you're reading this, I can't get you off of my mind. We're here for you in any capacity and will continue to support your journey. You are the most spiritual woman I know and you WILL come through this. We love you!
I hope you have just the very best week ever. Our days on this earth are limited. Make the most of each and everyone of them.
Thank you for continuing to read Sam's journal. What an amazing legacy for that amazing kid one day!
Love,
Dana
Thursday, September 15, 2005 10:06 AM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
I just did a little no-no. The house is perfectly quiet, the kids are at school and Elvia had a doc appt this morning so I decided to cancel my Oncology appt. Don't yell at me yet. You see, most people who are three years out from diagnosis only see their Oncologist every 6 months. I think my doctor is keeping me at every 3 months as a form of professional courtesy. I just had my bi-annual mammogram and sonogram last week and everything is clear so I just didn't feel like schlepping over to Medical City for basically a blood test. Worse case, Dennis can run the same test on me. I just felt like hanging out this morning and not having to rush, rush, rush!!!!
Sam's Oncology appointment went great! Dr. Goldman walked in and Sam said, "Oh, hi Goldman!" and he naturally replied, "Oh, hi Eisenberg!" Too funny. I love, love, love that man. He's got the most fabulous way with the kiddos. Sam's counts continue to be "perfect" as Dr. G announced. Thank G-d! The little patch of gunk on his scalp is a fungus. I knew it! Dennis wanted me to use Head and Shoulders on him and I just knew that wasn't gonna do the trick. Mothers instinct....priceless. Anyway, now Sam is on an oral anti-fungal medication (14ml daily) for an entire month. It's very common, similar in fact to ring worm, however, when it's on your scalp it's hard to get rid of. So that's that. The first dose was kind of hard of Sam because it tastes pretty nasty, however, last night he took the medicine all by himself and without complaining. Such a good boy! Since we hadn't been to clinic in 2 months, Sam just melted when the nurse came in for his blood draw. He instantly started crying and cried until she removed the needle and put the bandaid on. That's when he knows it's really over. Poor baby, but he recovered immediately and was charming to all the docs. We were able to see Dr. Weinthal in the hallway and chat about his daughter's upcoming Bat Mitzvah. Sam also ran into Dr. Lenarsky as he was exploring all of the open offices. That kid has no shame. So we go back in 2 weeks for another blood draw to check his liver function and enzymes. This anti-fungal has a high toxicity to the liver for this population (transplant patients.) In "normal" kids they don't even check liver functions. They expect his levels to be tweeked but aren't concerned enough to not give him the med.
Elvia's last day is tomorrow. It's hard to imagine she won't be here next week. She's become such a permanent presence in our home as she's worked here for 3.5 years. But it's time. The kids are really going to miss her but I told her to keep her key and come over anytime to visit. And definitely come over when Jenny is born. Ethan happens to LOVE babies.
Not much else going on this week other than lots of evening functions and meetings. We're taking the kids to the Plano Balloon Fest this Saturday night with the Smith's and are really excited about that. We've never been and evidentally they have fireworks at the end. The kids are really psyched as well.
Our new SMU student is working out great! She's a lot of fun and has definitely mastered the game of duck, duck, goose. Napping has apparently become a thing of the past around here. Oh well....I milked that one far longer than any of my friends. The boys are on a good schedule now and fall right to sleep in their own beds at night. Of course, every morning......I wake up to their beautiful little faces staring at me. At least they've learned how to sneak into my bed quietly.....and for that I'm grateful.
It's actually time to start thinking about their next birthday party. This is going to be interesting as they each want a different theme. Should be fun and challenging planning this one as they're in different classes. I'm going to have to rent out Texas Stadium to accomodate all those little kiddos. Ha!
I guess that's the news for the moment. Sam's class is leading Shabbot tomorrow and I'm just soooooo excited. They've been practicing their new song for more than a week and it's just hysterical. It has 4 different stances but the last line of each ends with, "Shabbot, shabbot, shalom." The kids always seem to scream those last 3 words. The funniest one actually is Ryan Zlotky. He stands a good foot higher than the other kids and he just belts out that song. I'm sure Lauren and I are going to be crying as we laugh tomorrow. Dennis and Jenny are also coming. I have every Shabbot service the kids lead blocked out on his schedule. I don't want him to miss a second of this year. Oh, one more thing. Dennis takes Wednesday afternoons off to take guitar lessons. Yesterday, I was in a meeting so he surprised the kids and picked them up at school. I'm sitting here smiling just thinking about how excited they were.
I've come to the end of my novella, but would like you to encourage your husbands to make a difference. We all know how busy they are, but how incredibly special it is for our kids to be surprised by their dads. Maybe they can surprise them at school one day and have lunch. Just anything. We moms know how the simpliest of efforts goes such a long way for our children.
Have the best weekend!
Love,
Dana
Sunday, September 11, 2005 9:06 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
Sit back, relax, get comfy......this is bound to be a marathon post!
WOW! What an incredible week and weekend. From playdates, to working out, to canceling work outs, to planning baby showers, to making dinners for friends, to having cleaning people in the house and painters and the landscapers and the window washers. It's was indeed a busy one.
Friday afternoon, Larissa & I spoke to CompUSA corporate employees. The room was set up for 900 and there were some standing. The CEO/President; Larry Mondry is such a cool guy. Jenny & I met him last November in Las Vegas while speaking to the Society. Ironically, he lives in my neighborhood and when his kiddos were younger they attended Sam & Ethan's school. I have to tell you, I was a nervous wreck over this one. I think the biggie was not having Jenny there. We're so used to speaking together that it just flows. She's also my sounding board. I'm never nervous when she's around. I don't particularly enjoy these speaking engagements. Jenny THRIVES under these circumstances. Anyway, CompUSA had sent a videographer over to her office last week so her bit could be taped. It actually turned out just perfect. She explained who she was and why she couldn't be there (too close to the 1 yr. mark of Allie's passing) and introduced the Sam &Allie video. Then she came back on and introduced Larissa & I. The crowd was incredibly moved by our story and I bet they'll have a record number of participants on their team this year. I told them we had about 500 walkers on our team and challenged them a little friendly competition. Should be a lot of fun in October at the Plano walk!
Friday afternoon, Suzanne from California came into town. She is the woman in the film industry interested in doing a documentary on the Sam & Allie story. With her, came several people from Austin and Dallas. Documentarians and cameramen. The Scott's and Eisenberg's took Suzanne out to dinner Friday night to be acquainted and chat about how the following day would play out. She was very warm and we instantly felt connected and comfortable with her. Jenny & I know she'll tell our story with dignity and sensitivity. Long story short.....they shot 16 hours of tape on Saturday and Saturday night. They did personal interviews with close family friends as well as family members. It was a little awkward at first but after a while, we just tried to forget they were there. Then they went to Jenny's house to video her get together. Jenny and Andrew made a few remarks by the tree that Annie and I had purchased in memory of the baby. Jenny said it went great!
I've never in my life seen so many gifts!!!!!!!!!! One side of my family room was completely covered. Jenny actually got 3 strollers! Too funny. I guess that says something about Target's baby registry. Oh well, she'll just return the extras for story credit and shop later.
Melissa (Dennis' sister) and her son, Alex, were in town from the Bay Area for a Bar Mitzvah. It was such a quick trip but fortunatley, we were able to have the family over for brunch today. Oh! Speaking of food......our babysitter, Kristen and her best friend, April, did the catering for the party. You cannot believe how incredibly fabulous the food was! Oh my gosh! Chicken and portabello mushroom crepes.....should I go on???? We had enough to serve another 8 people this morning. If you're local and in need of catering, contact me and I'll put you in touch with the girls. They've started a business and seem to already have it down pat. Is there anything this woman can't do????? Haven't discovered it yet!
That's about the fun for this post. I've hired a darling girl from SMU to come help out 3 afternoons per week. I think this will be Elvia's last week. It's going to be awfully quiet without her in the house.....I mean that literally....she loves to whistle! :)
Sam has a clinic appt. on Tuesday. The first one in 2 months! I'm hoping the docs can tell me what the "gunk" is on his scalp and recommend a product to heal it. That is truly the only issue I have...thank G-d.
Have the very best week ever!
Love,
Dana
Monday, September 5, 2005 9:05 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
What a perfect weekend! On Friday night we had dinner at Jay & Jamie's house to celebrate Dennis' mother's 86th bday! The food was great and the company so fun. Our kids were pretty tired and had a few outbreaks, but overall, everyone did great.
Saturday, Dennis & I retreated to The Crescent for 48 hours. What can I say? It was simply perfect for what we needed. A gorgeous room, champagne, dinner the first night as well as breakfast in bed the next morning....a simply perfect package. We stayed in the suite the 2nd night without the extra amenities but enjoyed dinner at Nobu. Nobu is a new restaurant at The Crescent co-owned by Robert DeNiro. He evidentally came to the opening of the restaurant. The food was fab....the price was over the top. But we had such a great time trying new items. We sat by the pool, worked out, enjoyed the sauna's and whirlpool and I actually read a book from cover to cover in this 24 hour period. HEAVEN!
Dennis actually had to do an IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) on Sunday so we ventured back north to Plano. That gave us an excuse to check in on the kiddos. They couldn't have been doing any better. Kristen, the babysitter extraordinaire, stayed with them and kept them so busy with fun activities! Dennis and I saw, "The 40 year old Virgin" and truly thought it was one of the most hilarious movies of all times. It puts Wedding Crashers to shame. You've got to see it......if you're not offended by the "f" word which is used quite often as well as some nudity. If you share in my sense of humor you will love it. The book I read this weekend was the memoir of Alice Sebold. It was her true life story of being a freshman in college and being raped. I read her first book, Lovely Bones. Her subject matter is intense to say the least, but her writing is intriguing. If you think you can handle it, buy it. It was a quick read.
Tonight we had Dennis' parents and two other families for dinner. It was kind of a last minute get together and turned out perfect. All of the kids played perfectly together and the food was great.
The boys are down for the night (hopefully) and Dennis and I are watching a movie on HBO.
Not much to report other than this is going to be a super crazy week. I'm giving a speech to the employees of CompUSA on Friday. I've been told there will be approximately 1200 in attendance. Jenny will not be giving the speech with me as originally planned. It's just too close to the one year mark of Allie's passing. In her place will be Larissa. Jenny and I also have something really exciting and remarkable to share.
A woman from California who is in the film industry has approached us with doing a documentary about our story. She will be flying in on Friday and filming the baby shower on Saturday as well as the get together Saturday night to commemorate Allie's one year. She will return in October to film Light the Night as well as Maggie's birth as long as we can get all the legal matters handled.
Jenny and I are really excited about the prospect of our story being aired. This woman has a really dear friend who works for Lifetime and is very interested in our story. We'll see. Whatever happens, happens. It's fun to dream.
I hope you all the best week ever!!!!!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 3:20 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
WOW! Has it really been nearly 1.5 weeks since I last posted? My, my how time flies.
I have nothing but positive news to report. We are all doing just great. Oh yeah, Jaffie DID throw up 2 days in a row, but that doesn't really count as a negative.
The kids are fully acclimated to their classroom and teachers and are thriving each and every day. Each day they come home and tell me about their art projects, new hebrew words they've learned, the 5 senses they learned and the list goes on and on. Ethan gives his report of, "Mommy, I had a little little problem today with _____. I pushed him." Ethan, remember.....Lois will make you leave school if you hit your friends. So for the first couple of days this is how our conversations went. Then one day, he came home and said enthusiastically, "Mommy, Mommy! Guess what? I didn't hit any of my friends today!" He was so proud of himself for remembering to be a good boy. Of course today he came home in different shorts than what he left in. "Ethan, what happened to your other shorts?" "Well, Mommy.....I had a little little problem." Too cute!
I will tell you this whole time out thing -vs- yelling is truly fantastic! My anxiety level is at an all time low. As a matter of fact, Kristin recently asked me if something was wrong during one of our playdates. She thought because I was so calm something was wrong. Isn't that funny? I like that my friends have noticed a change in me. I also like that the kids are responding so well to this new parenting technique.
Another change in our house is that I'm doing everything as it relates to the kids and house. Elvia only has another couple of weeks here and we're revamping our plans. I've hired a company that comes in once per week to clean with 5 people. They're in and out in 2 hours. I've put an ad in the SMU Daily for a part time sitter to come 3 afternoons per week. I'm so excited about cutting down on the expenses of a full time nanny and regaining my household. I don't know if this is true for you, but for me to have fulltime help in the house causes me to be lazy and depend on that person. Now, I get the kids up, get their breakfast, get them dressed and pack their lunch. Before, Elvia always helped me. Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not complaining about having fulltime help, it's just time for me to take those responsibilities back. It makes me feel good and useful and the same time.
I'm also a room parent this year for Ethan's class. I think I've mentioned that before. Our first meeting is tomorrow morning and I'm looking forward to helping out this year.
What else can I tell you? This must surely be getting boring. Boring feels soooooo good! Dennis and I are retreating for a little rendevous this weekend and I'm so looking forward to having him all to myself for 48 hours but being close enough to home in the event we were needed.
That's the scoop! Please be sure and read my update at the top regarding Light the Night and t-shirts.
Have a fabulous week!
Lots of love,
Dana
PS (I've been getting so many great emails about seeing Sam's picture on billboards, sides of busses, etc. Dennis & I would love to have pictures of those sightings. )
Friday, August 19, 2005 9:05 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
I'm feeling a little philosophical......so go with it.
You know, I often think of how normal and typical I am. I'm just this woman who married the wrong man first then found the right man next. (this maybe stunning news to some).
So I met this guy named Dennis. Wasn't crazy about his name but it grew on me. He was so different than me. He had experienced life in such a different way than me. He intrigued me. I wanted to know more about him and the way he viewed the world.
He introduced me to the Arts. We love live theater, musicals and plays. We really get into live music as well. He introduced me to a different part of Dallas than I was familiar with. Dennis Eisenberg happens to love fine dining....bummer....so do I.
We've experienced such a phenomenal life together. I remember this poor guy who was barely out of Residency and we had been living together for a very short time. He was getting cold feet about the wedding and I distinctly remember calling him as I was just about to put the wedding invitations in the mail. "Should I or not! Make a damn decision!!!!!" That was after we had been dating for about 5 years. Can you say, "commitment issues much?"
Our life has been anything but normal. Who gets married and wants to start a family right away just to realize it's going to take YEARS and lots of fertility drugs? Who finally gets pregnant (after 2 miscarriages) just to have your twins born 6 weeks early? Who finally decides it's time to build on that lot you bought 2 years prior just to finally move in after 18 months, throw a huge party and find out you have breast cancer? Who hires a live-in nanny to help out while you're going through chemo just to have her hit on your husband (oops, did I say that?). Who looks outside their window after nearly 3 years of living in a gorgeous house, just to say, "How great is our life?" just find out your son has a rare and often fatal form of Leukemia just a few short weeks later?
Our lives together so far have certainly been anything but normal. I can't imagine our lives had they taken a different course. We are who we are as a result of our trials and obstacles. We are this solid unified family as a result of nearly losing each other TWICE. It sucks, I know. We should have always been this unified body. I promise you a day doesn't go by that Dennis & I don't verbally or non-verbally convey our thoughts...."Damn, we're lucky to be together."
I checked in on some of my favorite caringbridge kids and a few of them aren't doing well. I'm worried about Katsie, Sean and of course Jacob. These families will never meet me or perhaps even hear of me, but my GOD, I feel so connected to them and their family plights.
Today, I spoke with a NICU nurse from Dennis' hospital (Medical Center of Plano) who has a 6 yr old little boy just diagnosed with AML this week. Fortunately, they were directed to our 3 docs and are certainly in the best of care. Nonethless, it immediately brought back that horrible day that we learned Sam had AML.
I know I've often written about the concept of when will those daily events fade. I feel like I could recall most everyday from the moment I learned Sam had AML. I so vividly remember sleeping with him night after night in that little hospital bed, only to be awakened sooo many times throughout the night for vitals and meds. I soooo vividly remember taking Sam down to radiation twice daily for 4 days. I know this doesn't sound like much, but believe me it was 4 of the longest days I've ever experienced.
What are doing to this child? Are we killing him just to have him live for a few short months? That was our dilemna. If he were to survive, what would his intellect be? Are we unknowingly turning our bright and intelligent son into a less than capable individual? We had no idea and unfortunately, there were no studies and statistics available for us to base our decision. We went with our docs recommendations. "Would you do this to your child given the situation?" With every question, the answer was, "yes." That's what we had to go on.
Okay, so why did Sam make it and so many don't? It wasn't due to a higher being. You all know how I feel about that. If that higher being allowed Sam to live then why did Allie perish? Please just let me talk tonight and don't lecture me. Remember, this is for Sam to read one day when he's older. Sam has lived because we are so freaking lucky and I'll even say blessed. Ethan was not only a match (we had a 25 percent chance of that happening) but he was a perfect match. This is just such incredible luck. I don't think we lucked out because Dennis & I have led such remarkable lives, I just think we lucked out.
My biggest hope, dream and prayer would be that, that luck holds out. Today, I watched as my boys entered the school of all schools, Solomon Schechter Academy (aka: Levine Academy). They carried their new backpacks and entered the school as if nothing in their little worlds were wrong. They met their new teachers and visited with their classmates in their new rooms. I mainly stayed in Sam's class. It's just caddy-corner from Ethan's. Ethan, has the same phenomenal teacher from last year....thank G-d, she was moved into the 4's. Sam couldn't have been a more perfect gentlemen. He asked one of the kids, "Can I play with you?" He did a couple of art projects and the teachers just loved his manners and articulation. His main teacher this year, has just finished her treatment for stage 3 breast cancer. Sam can totally relate to her and I'm so grateful he's in her class.
I guess I'm just rambling, but the house is quiet and it feels good to talk. Thank you from my very being for being the coolest support system a woman could ever hope for. You Girls Rock!
All My Love,
Dana
Wednesday, August 17, 2005 8:51 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
Unfortunately, I feel I have to begin this posting with a few reminders of what this journal is all about. It was developed with only our family in mind. It's our way of expressing our feelings, emotions, thoughts and day to day stuff for our family to have as a legacy of events. I realize it's more widespread than that, however, we really will never allow it's integrity to be compromised by "yucky" people. For those who feel they must "get a few things off their chest", I strongly encourage you to do that with a professional or on your own blog. Long after Dennis & I are gone, I truly don't believe that Sam & Ethan will appreciate reading negative comments on Sam's website. Remember, I'm not writing for your entertainment or enjoyment, it's really simply just about our quirky little family.
I do appreciate how so many of you came to my rescue in our absence. That means so much to Dennis & I. We have grown to care about you and your families and are just amazed at how many still care to even keep in touch with us. Your words provide me with such encouragement. You will never fully understand. I can be having a crummy day for whatever reason, log onto the computer and check Sam's guestbook and someone will have said just the right thing to bring me out of it.
Okay, enough of that junk....find a comfy chair you're in for a long one.
Our trip to Colorado/Yellowstone started as typical as any other trip for us....Dennis announces at 8:30am that he has to go to the hospital to round. I remind him very calmly and patiently that we will be leaving the house at 9:15 with or without him. Why on earth does this man have to stress me out on each and every trip we've taken in the past 13 years? I have no idea.
He did his business, I loaded the car with luggage and kids and we waited in the driveway for Dennis. He arrived and we were off. I decided to drive as I could feel the tension flowing thick in the air.
We arrived at the park & ride place, had the driver haul bootie to the gate and we checked our bags downstairs with Luther. He was the exact man who checked our bags to San Diego 2 weeks ago. The kids were excited. We made it through security pretty easily (again we had the round tip kid scissor thing) but no biggie. Then Dennis decides he needs to go to the bathroom, get some money and something to eat prior to boarding. Our flight was due to depart at 10:48 and it was approximately 10:30 at this point. He did his stuff and we literally walked on the plane to have the door close right behind us.
We settled in and the kids did great on the flight over. Dennis on the other hand....well that's another story. I'll make a long story short and just say he got "into it" with a snooty flight attendant regarding taking our 4 year old son who is in remission from Leukemia, to the first class bathroom instead of the one that was blocked by the drink cart in coach. She decided to *&%$ with him and he wouldn't back down. As a result he was given an FAA "citation" for misconduct. Oh Vey! Can you even believe this is how we started out? I was sure a marshall would meet us at the Denver airport and kindly escort Dennis away while my children watched in horror. Fortunately, we de-planed uneventfully with the exception of me seeing the flight attendant motion to the pilot that "he was the one." I naturally couldn't just let this go and told her a thing or two as well as getting her name so Dennis could file an official report with the airlines of which he did promptly as we arrived at our friend's house in Golden.
There was a slight mix up at the rental car place but in the end we had our FIFTEEN passenger van with unlimited miles to boot! The other family had their sitter come so we could have one night of adult conversation and fabulous food.
We all woke up early to get a head start on the long drive to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. It was tough for all of us, but we managed to make it in about 9 hours with 3 quick stops for food, gas and bathroom breaks. We were sooooo delighted once we found our condo. It was part of Snowmass and totally awesome. Three bedrooms and three baths. Perfect. We had a quick drink; juice for kids, adult beverages for the rest and we were off to the Alpine Slide. In case you're not familiar with this, it's where you take a chairlift to the top of the mountain then sit on a plastic-like sled and slide down on a porcelain "ramp." That's the best way I can describe it. It actually resembles a luge. Jeff and his son went first, followed by Sam & I then Dennis & Ethan. Their were 2 slides and Dennis and I were on different ones that ran side by side. We must have been about a minute in front of Dennis when we took off. Their is a lever in which you could control the speed of the sled which was a relief. Anyway....ready for this? Sam & I were about 45 seconds into our ride when I noticed a pitbull hovering around one of the turns. She managed to barely knick Sam's pinky on her way to chomping down on my leg. Yep, you heard it right. She had a really good grip on my leg when I started screaming like a freaking banchie. I think it scared her more than Sam, but regardless, she released me. Three more feet down and yes, another dog was lurking. I was completely panic stricken. I went down the slide really slow until I knew I was out of their sight, then booked it down the rest of the mountain. My leg was totally throbbing and I finally raised my pant leg to assess the damage. Thank G-d I had pretty thick sweat capri pants on because she could have done some serious damage to me had I been wearing shorts.
At the bottom I announced to Rene and her daughter, Mia, what had happened. They did not ride the slide. Animal Control and the local Police were called and responded very quickly. I should also mention that Dennis & Ethan encountered the other dog and in order not to get a repeat performance of what I had experienced, they wiped out on the slide. Yep, little Ethan would from that point on be known as "scab boy." He was so scraped up. My poor baby was so unnerved it must have taken him a full hour to recover and stop crying. Of course the popcycle helped a bit.
Anyway, I immediately called Dr. Lenarsky since the dog punctured Sam's finger and drew blood. Once we were finally connected which took more than 30 minutes due to miscommunication, I was reassured what to do. "Take him to the Emergency Room. Have him treated as any kid with a dog bite, the transplant has nothing to do with this." Fortunately, Jeff is a Pediatrician and we all agreed to watch the teeny tiny wound over the next 24 hours. Sam's little scrape healed nicely. My leg is still bruised on both sides where that stupid dog got me.
We all went back to the condo, showered and changed and were on our way out to dinner when I noticed that dog. I started freaking out saying, "Pull over and get that damn dog!" Dennis jumped out of the van, I whistled for the dog and we put her promptly in the back of the van. We took up to the registration area where everyone there was aware of our incident. The police contacted the owners (she had a tag) and later that night we were informed the dog was current on shots through 2006. That was the bottom line and the only thing any of us cared about.
It's now been a full week and I'm still bruised although the pain has been gone for a few days.
Onto Yellowstone......
There's no way I care to tell each and every event and discovery, but let me just tell you, it was AMAZING! You have to be prepared to be in the car alot, but WOW, you really see some extraordinary country. We were able to see tons of Bison, deer, a fox, 2 coyotes, and the most majestic golden Elk just 4 feet away. We were all simply awe struck. We had the trip of a lifetime, truly. Everything went like clockwork with the exceptions of my dog incident and Dennis' near FAA lock-down. Seriously, we arrived at Old Faithful 10 minutes before it erupted. Another geyser just a few yards away from Old Faithful called, "Great Tess (I think)", erupts 2-6 times per year. Guess what, it was going off the entire time we were there. Unbelievable. That whole geyser concept is so unusual and remarkable.
We made picnic lunches everyday and found a forest or stream to sit by. The kids had the most fun just fighting over sticks. That probably gives you an idea they were slightly too young to fully enjoy the magnitude of this trip. But don't get me wrong, they had a blast! We took a little boat ride one night and then a covered wagon trip the next. Jeff scheduled the entire trip for us down to the minutia. I've never had ANYONE plan a trip for me. You guys know me too well and realize that's not in my nature. But he sure did a great job.
Monday was my birthday. I'm now 42. We got in the van at 9am and arrived back in Golden, CO at 7:30pm. Yep! That was my birthday, but you know what? I was with the most precious people in my life. No complaints.
Thank you to all who had nice birthday wishes for me and/or had a celebratory drink in my honor. I appreciate it sooooo much.
Today was such a special day. Sam recorded a PSA (Public Service Announcement) for the LLS through a really popular local radio station, JACK FM 100.3. It will aire several times throughout the day beginning on Sept. 19 and will run through the Plano Light the Night Walk. I received a copy of it this afternoon and when I played it for Dennis, he cried. It's really emotional and powerful for us. We simply couldn't be anymore proud of our family. We simply couldn't be anymore grateful to be together. If I can get approval, I'll post it on Sam's site once it begins running.
I am so overwhelmed by all the emails I've been receiving about my cyber friends seeing Sam on billboards, magazines, newspapers, on the side of a DC bus and even in a hair salon. It's funny because when the photo shoot was going on I just didn't get how huge it was. Only now are we realizing the magnitude of Sam's face being all over the nation.
As we were leaving JACK FM today I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude towards the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. They have honored our family in so many incredible ways. Naming a grant after Sam & Allie, making Sam the "poster child" along with Bill Lasher for the nationwide Light the Night campaign and now this radio spot. We are so blessed. Sam loves doing this stuff as well. What an incredible opportunity to build his self-esteem through public speaking! We're just so fortunate. And you must believe me when I say, we don't take a single day for granted......anymore.
Lastly, it's just 10 weeks from today that we, as a nation and beyond, will welcome baby Margaret (Maggie) Elizabeth Scott into this world. I just can't wait! My prayer (and I hope you'll join me) is that Jenny doesn't deliver early. Dennis & I are scheduled to take the kids to Disney World the week before her delivery. We would just be devastated to be out of town for this monumental event. I've already scheduled her to be on bedrest while we're in Florida. Isn't it great to have a friend who thinks she's the doctor, instead of the husband?
I started this posting at 8:51 and now it's 10:14 and time to sign off.
Again, thank you for your birthday wishes, continued support and your incredible protection over my family.
And to the men this blog was originally intended....I love you all so much. Night night!
xxoo,
Dana
Tuesday, August 9, 2005 9:20 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
"Wine wonderful wine....what more could we ask for?" sung to Food wonderful food from Oliver. At least that's the way I remember the song going.
Okay, it's 9:22pm the 3 boys are down (for the moment) and I can relax with one more glass of pinot noir. Yum!
Poor Dennis, in order to leave town, he has to get tackled from each and every direction possible. Today he saw 40 patients, did 2 deliveries and 2 surgeries. Yet, I can protest, this man never makes his patients feel they are being rushed. I have no idea how he does it, really.
He got home tonight (and thankfully I had made dinner), he sat outside watching the kids swim until his pager went off and off and off. "Honey, you're not on call tonight are you?" Yep! For G-d's sake, he just came off of weekend call. No rest for the weary.
Thankfully, Dennis & Yigal have been working out like maniacs which has definitely aided in his stamina. Dennis works out on average 5-6 days per week, typically getting to the gym by 6am. Six am? I'm sooooo in la-la land at that hour.
Speaking of waist lines.....I pretty much look like I'm 6 months pregnant. No joke! I was doing so well working out with my trainer but haven't seen him in 3.5 weeks. My, my how quickly 42 year old women can gain it back. Actually, I'll be 42 next Monday. That will be the day we'll be driving from Yellowstone back to Denver. Probably like 10-12 hours. How would you like to spend your bday like that? Oh well, there's always next year.
Actually, I did book a 2 day/night little rendevouz at The Crescent over Labor Day. I swear I haven't stopped thinking about it since I hung up the phone.
Guess I really don't have much to discuss tonight. I'm excited about having my husband and children all together for 7 straight days. Of course I imagine I'll be changing my tune by next Tuesday when we arrive back in Dallas.
I have a couple of fabulous house sitters staying here taking care of the new and bald Jaffie. Poor puppy, she had to be shaved today as a result of too much swimming and no brushing. Way too matted up. Now she looks like a total dork. I actually think she's humiliated.
Lastly, I was really saddened to hear that Peter Jennings died. He smoked a lot in his early years then quit. It wasn't until 9-11 that he picked that habit back up and unfortunately died of Lung Cancer just a few short months after revealing the cancer to the public. He's one of those people you feel like you know. We've all grown up with him and watched him nightly. That makes me very sad.
We all talk to each other via email and caringbridge about all the children who are needlessly taken from us. These kids who are suffering more than most adults could possibly fathom. I'm not minimizing what Peter Jennings went through. I just hate that America lost this man due to a conscious decision to smoke.
Just one person's opinion. Please don't blast me.
Have a great week and keep your fingers and toes crossed that I can successfully get through this crazy trip!
xxoo,
Dana & family
Thursday, August 4, 2005 2:47 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
Jenny and I have just returned from Ft. Worth where we gave our second speech of the week for our Light the Night kick off luncheons.
Yesterdays was for the Dallas and Plano walk and today was obviously Ft. Worths. Both days were really special because we showed the Sam/Allie video. Jenny & I haven't seen that video in several months and boy does it bring back memories....some good, some really bad.
Today in Ft. Worth, Frances (Andrew's mom) was in attendance. I made the mistake of looking over at her mid-sentence and had to take a moment to recompose myself. She was really crying. The video had really gotten to her as well.
Do you remember how beautiful Allie was? Huge blue eyes, big cheeks and a luscious smile. I can't help but ponder how it is to lose a child. I came close, but thankfully didn't have to go there. I wonder how Jenny gets through most days. I know the pain is never far from her heart but I guess time helps you to manage the pain and function on a day to day basis. I worry someday I will have to face that. It scares me to give these speeches and talk to lots of people about how great Sam is doing. I'm so afraid I'm going to jinx myself. I'm glad the speaking engagements are over the moment.
I follow about 8 caringbridge kids. Sometimes more, sometimes less. There's one family that I was made aware of that I've really grown fond of. They live in Florida and have gorgeous boy triplets and one older son. They remind me of the Malniks. One of the trips has cancer. Jacob has been receiving an experimental regime, never before given to a pediatric patient and a couple of days ago, they learned it's not working. This morning when I read it I just sunk (sank?). Not another child. This is simply incomprehensible. Don't get me wrong, the doctors are going to try yet another cocktail of drugs along with Gleevac. He was doing so good just a week ago. I'm just crushed over this one. You know how some of these kids really find their way into your heart. Jacob has been on my mind all day today. I remember how it feels to have so much hope and then have it ripped away in one instant. I know this family is in a lot of pain and I hope you'll stop in and share some words of encouragement. www.caringbridge.org/fl/jacob.
Today I was away from the kids for more than 4 hours and I told Jenny on the ride home that I missed them. It's funny how when your with them you wish you weren't and vice versa. I think knowing what Jacob and his family are going through, sure puts it right back into perspective. Our lives are entirely too short and can be cut even shorter with just a blink of an eye.
I remember how so many of my cyber friends used to write in Sam's guestbook about hugging their kids more after learning of what we were going through. It never really stops does it? There are just so many of our children that are sick.
If I were in charge of our universe, I'd make sure only the elderly died. They would die peacefully and pain free in their sleep. Period. We would have to have turnover or the planet would become just way too over populated. I'm not opposed to death. I am opposed to children dying. There is just no point in trying to convince me, "It's in G-d's will." You know how I feel about that one.
Life can simply be cruel. We all know this. It's reality. We just never gave it a thought when we were all trying to start our families. I never did anyway. I just thought I'd get pregnant and that would be that. A perfectly beautiful and healthy family. I never dreamed I'd get cancer. No thoughts ever entered my mind that one of my children would get cancer.
It would be so nice if we all the map of our lives laid out. At least we wouldn't be blind sided by unexpected sicknesses and death. I would also provide each person with that map if I were in charge.
This is getting weird as my thoughts circle my mind. Giving our speech has just stirred some memories that I hadn't thought about for a while. I'm not in a funk just kind of mad and sad and curious about our mission. We're each born with one, it just takes some trials and tribulations to recognize.
That's my weirdness for day. Speak gently with your kids especially your todlers. They're just trying to find their way in this bizarre world we brought them into.
Love,
Dana
Sunday, July 31, 2005 3:56 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
What an incredible week we've had! WOW!
I'll give some of the highlights and a little play by play of our time in La Jolla. I wanted to speak with Kristen prior to doing this post as she had some really funny experiences with the kids but decided to leave her alone today to recup! I think she's probably going to be drinking from sunrise to sunset today. Believe me, if I were her, I would be! In case you don't know, Kristen is our babysitter extraordinaire who accompanied us on the trip.
Let me start by saying Ethan and Reid were pretty much terrible! They have similar personalities and just provoked the hell out of each other. Ethan basically was in Reid's face the whole time and Reid was "tattle-telling." Yes, that was quite annoying!
The trip started pretty easy. Dennis drove us to the airport and "moon walked" back to the car as he departed. He couldn't have been anymore elated to have us away. We checked our luggage downstairs and proceeded to the security check in. I "accidentally" got in the first class line and the lady actually allowed us through. Had she not, we would have had a 30 minute wait. That was a good thing. Of course once I put the kids backpacks on the conveyor the first of the excitement began. I had packed scissors. Didn't even think about it. Just thought, "hey, the kids can do some art projects." That would cause us a bit of delay, but in the end we were cleared to bring them onboard as they were rounded. This is good info to know for future travels (tip #1). The only dumb thing is, I'm sure I could wound someone even with rounded scissors. Oh well, I didn't complain.
The flight was easy. My kids watched a DVD and snacked on the entire pantry of crap I brought. Once we were at the San Diego airport it became apparent we would need 2 carts just to get our luggage across the street to where we picked up the rental car shuttle. You should have seen Ethan pushing the cart. He could no more see over the luggage....it was hysterical. Once at the rental car facility the fun began. Kristen stayed outside with all four kids while Lauren and I waited in the most frutrating of long ridiculous lines. I swear, had Dennis been there, he would have left. When it was nearly our turn, we received a call from Kristen indicating Ethan had just pulled down his pants and pee'd on the pavement, Ryan had to go as well, and the other two were running around like banchies (sp?). I went out and took care of Ryan while Lauren finished the car transaction. By the way, in case you didn't know, a Dodge Grand Caravan has built in straps (5 pt. harness) on the second row (tip #2). Dennis and I discovered this a few months ago while on vacation. That was nice so we didn't have to bring car seats. Also, Avis had a special to receive 2 car seats for free.
Okay, we're on the road to La Jolla. One of the beauties of traveling with someone who is totally familiar with a destination is that they know directions to everything. Tip #3, travel with Lauren Zlotky anytime you go anywhere. I'm sure she's gonna love reading this.
We couldn't check into our house until 4pm, so we went over to Bill's house. He is the owner of the house that Lauren had rented for 2 summers, two summers ago. We basically spent time in his bathroom. Come to think of it, I spent A LOT of time in the bathroom. I don't think I had any idea how much my kids poop. Jeez! You don't pay attention to it in your own house. It's when you're away and you have to constantly tell your kids not to touch a thing because of all the germies. By the end of the trip, the kids would say it before I could even remind them. Anyway, we stopped for a quick bite then off to see our beach pad. After seeing Bill's place with his great front yard and back patio and how well lit the house was, I was a bit disappointed walking into ours. It was dark and a bit shabby. But you know how things are, you get used to it really quick and just make do. We all agreed, including the husbands, we wouldn't rent that house in the future. That first night we picked up pizza and salads from Sammy's. Soooo delicious!
Sunday: Lauren and I got up early and went for a run. She's training for the Dallas 1/2 marathon through the LLS' Team in training. I did the best I could and probably ran a little over 1 mile total but walked the entire time we were there. She ran 4.....without stopping. We ran along a path just overlooking the ocean. Couldn't get any better than that. We returned home and gathered the kids and we were off to the Farmers Market/Flea Market. Oh my gosh, this was one of the highlights of the trip. It was awesome! We sampled from one end to the other while the kids played briefly on the playset provided. I happened upon a few darling handmade items for babies Maggie and Luke that I couldn't resist as well as a beautiful skirt for me. It was designed by the woman at the booth and the material was from India. Lauren talked me into it and I hope I actually wear it. I also stumbled upon some really nice new age kind of ecclectic music and bought a cd. Dennis will love that. We went home, unloaded the groceries, got the kids changed and off we went to Solana Beach. Lauren's sister in law and family live there. The kids played and we had the best dinner. That was a lot of fun.
Monday: The kids had breakfast then we were off to the beach. This sounds pretty easy, right? You've never been to the beach with Lauren. It was a schlep to say the least. One person got the kids ready, while one made sandwiches and got all the snack and drinks ready, while one gathered all the towels, beach toys, umbrella, wagon, life jackets and boogie boards. This woman has this beach thing down pat, down to the minutia.....eye drops in case of sand irritating the eyes. The kids were amazing. Each made their own entertainment. From digging for sea shells, to digging a whole down to China to boogie boarding, each had a total blast! Ethan and Reid (our 2 fearless kids) were in heaven. It was their first time in the ocean boogie boarding and did great. Ethan would naturally start crying and complaining if the wave didn't take him far enough. He really thought I could fix that dilemma for him. Oh Vey! It was a bit emotional for me to watch Sam. He was so in his element. All he wanted to do was dig for seashells. He had been talking about it for weeks prior to the trip. It was so important to him. He found a ton and was so pleased. Tip #4: when collecting seashells, only gather the ones which are open. If closed, the little creature is still inside alive. A couple of days later.....the stench set in. Kristen told me to boil them. They opened and the little urchents were dead. The seashells stayed outside the entire rest of the week, however, I did bring them home. Isn't it funny though, Sam hasn't even mentioned them in the last 24 hours. What was so terribly important one minute vanished the next. The beauty of being 4. That night, Bill met Lauren and I out for dinner and too much wine. Don't ask. It wasn't pretty, but it was really funny.
Tuesday: Again the kids had breakfast at home (basically they did every morning so I'll just skip that part from now on.) Lauren and her sis-in-law, Amy, decided to do some shopping in Solana Beach that day and so Kristen and I took the kids on an Amtrak ride up to San Juan Capistrano to meet my Aunt Sue. We met the nicest Rabbi while standing in line to buy our tickets and kids had fun with him. He's actually retired by 2 years but you'd never know it. He was full of life and stories and just happened to have 4 lolly pops in his pockets which he shared with the kids. The kids had fun on the trainride but were not exactly well-behaved. Anyway, Sue was there as our train arrived. She actually lives in Laguna Beach but it's only about 10 minutes away. In San Juan Capistrano close to the train station, there is a really fun petting zoo. All of the kids fed the rabbits, guinea pigs, goats, emu's, sheep and donkeys. They rode a little train around in a circle and each took a pony ride. They had a lot of fun. Next, it was off to a darling little outdoor cafe for lunch. Ethan promptly spilled his entire cup of milk on the floor. Thankfully, it barely got on him. The kids each went to the bathroom a couple of times....didn't I tell you I spent a lot of time in the bathroom? In reality, Kristen took them all together while Sue and I chatted then off to play: duck, duck, goose across the street on some grass. We had a short time until our train was due so we explored. Lots of kisses and hugs goodbye and we were off again. This time, I spent a lot of time in Amtrak bathroom with the various kids. Goodness, these kids have good intestines. Yuck! Tuesday night Lauren and I met Amy and her friend out for Sushi. I have to say I ate everything that was put in front of me. I don't typically eat raw fish with the exception of Ahi tuna, but everything was sooooo delicious.
Wednesday: Legoland......here we come! High level overview: 7.5 hours of pure fun. The kids rode almost everything and had the time of their life. Tip #5: Lauren encouraged me to yell less and calmly discipline more. With that said, Ethan had 3 separate time outs while waiting for one ride. By the afternoon, however, they finally "got it." They now understand that Mommy is in charge. It's really made a remarkable difference in my overall frustration level. Good job Lauren, thanks for all the fabulous advice. The kids and adults were fried by the end of that day, but it was just so much fun. The funniest thing happened just after we ate lunch. There is a ride designated for kids, ages 6-13 right across from the restaurant. We made a bee-line for that ride as the line was really short. It wasn't until we were almost to the front that we learned of the age requirement. Before I could prompt the kids, the lady asked, "How old are you?" All 4 kids kids held up 4 fingers and yelled, "four." Lauren and I were like, no, no, you're 6, and Ethan cried and said, "You silly mommy, we're not 6, we're 4!!!!!" I then whispered in each of their little ears, "let's all pretend to be six" and with that, Ethan said, "we're pretending to be six." We almost wet our pants we were laughing so hard. But you know what? She let everyone of them on. This is a "race car" that's not on a track. You are supposed to obey the traffic lights and signs. All the drivers are to drive on the right side of the street, etc. The problem is that none of our kids know 100 percent for sure which is the right and which the left. With the exception of Ethan, they all pretty much followed the rules. Ethan, on the other hand, had some serious driving business to do. He would snake in and out of the other older kids and had a blast. We were laughing our butts off. That night Lauren and I went for a casual dinner at The Cottage.
Thursday: Daddy's come in! I say this with mixed emotion. The fact is: Lauren and I were doing just fine. We had our system down and really were a little hesitant to add the Daddy's dynamics and impatience to the pot. Lauren and I picked them up and took them to Loma Point Seafood where we dined on crab/shrimp louie salads, ahi tuna and shared a nice bottle of wine. We thought that would be the calm before the storm. When we arrived back at the house and the kids saw their respective Dad's chaos was in full swing. Sam immediately started yelling and screaming because one of the other kids had opened the door and he wanted to, etc., etc., etc. We quickly gathered the kids and were off to the San Diego Zoo. Tip #6: Never give Sam a Churro. This is the mexican pastry that is shaped in a long stick. Because if you do, he will cry and wine and complain and pitch a fit from one end of the zoo to the extreme other, until you get him ANOTHER CHURRO! Damn it! Once we FINALLY did get him the second one, the crowd around us nearly clapped. You see, they had unfortunately been walking the path as us for probably close to 45 minutes. I really felt bad for them and wanted to smack Sam. Ohhhh, that was quite a "motherly" thing to say, huh? Anyway, that night we went to a wonderful Italian restaurant in La Jolla Shores. Bill and 2 of his girly friends met us. We had an "interesting" conversation with one of them about reincarnation and the Holocaust and other stuff. Two words: weird chick.
Friday: The majority of the house went out for breakfast while Kristen, Ethan and I stayed behind. We did the beach schlep again. This time it was much easier to pack everything as we had a bit of experience. When the gang returned we were off. The problem was that it was so cold that morning. No other morning of our trip was this cold. The kids couldn't get in the ocean which was such a bummer. We had really wanted the Dad's to see the kids boogie boarding. Oh well, they all took long walks (Lauren ran 6 miles that day on the beach!). Amy and her kids met us as well. We ran home; showered and changed and went to lunch. I spent basically the entire lunch in the bathroom with my kids. Are you getting the common theme yet? After lunch the Dad's took the kids to the park so Lauren and I could FINALLY do some shopping damage. You know, we just didn't have that much time and Lauren was pretty pooped from her ran that morning, so we didn't do near the damage we had hoped for. I did get a really beautiful piece of colored glass for the dining room table. I'm excited to see if it makes it to Dallas in one piece. That night we had the grand finale dinner at Ropongi's. It's like a Sushi Tapas place. Amy and her husband met us that night and we really went overboard. We basically sat down and ate and ate and ate. Kind of glutunous, (sp?), but sooooo good.
Saturday: Dad's took the boys for breakfast so we could pack up the house. We went to Bill's one last time to say goodbye, use his bathroom again and check out the walking stick bugs he had caught for the kids. There is a weird infestation of walking stick bugs in La Jolla this year. Their perfectly harmless to us, but wreak a little havoc on the folliage. We went for lunch then a quick and spontaneous last bit of shopping. I picked up a gorgeous skirt (bohemian style) and Sam just loved it on me. I swear that kid is my biggest fan. We left for the airport; imagine this....2 Dad's up front, Lauren and I each with a kid on our lap in the second row, and Kristen squished between the other 2 kids in their car seats in the third row. We also had more luggage than was physically possible for this vehicle to hold, but somehow made it. Dennis & Jeff got upgraded for the trip home (schmucks!) so once again it was the just the girls and the kiddos. Fortunately, mine guys slept quite a bit on the way home. Can't say the same for Lauren. Unfortunately and unbeknownst to her, Reid and Ryan ate an entire bag of gummy letters and were flying high.....both physically and literally!
That was our trip. Not one any of us will soon forget. As a matter of fact, Lauren and I are already talking seriously about doing it again next summer for a month. Dennis & Jeff have given us the green light to research some nicer homes.
With the exception of some absolute comical times, some frustrating times, some projectile vomit and diarrhea times.....all was a success. Hey Kristen, be sure and post some of those comical incidences in the guestbook.
Also, Kristen and Lauren took a ton of pics and will burn them on a disc for me. WE WILL HAVE SOME NEW PICS TO SHARE.
Thank you to everyone who sent messages of congrats for Sam. We called our docs and 12 South on the 27th to say, Thanks. The three wisemen were off to lunch but we were able to speak with Marlene aka: Marleny Weanie on 12 South. That was really special for Sam. He also HAD to speak with Jenny that morning as well. He had been wired all morning waiting to make those phone calls.
It was a week of joy, excitement, discovery, gratefulness and love. We're just so darn lucky.
All my love,
Dana
PS (I'm not going to re-read this, so please pardon all typos.)
Monday, July 18, 2005 6:38 AM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
I've been awake for nearly an hour and didn't know why. I came to my computer and immediately learned through my friend, Sandy Kirk, that Daegen in Kansas has finally found peace outside this earth. As I read his father Lance's post of his last moments with his son, the tears just flowed and flowed. I've been checking his site, dmanhero.com, twice daily for several days knowing this news was eminent, however, had not realized the mix of emotions I would feel. Lance typed that post while sitting in Daegen's room waiting for the funeral home to come. I felt like I was in that room with them as I read his words. Then I turn my head to the right and just 20 feet away I see Sam & Ethan peacefully slumbering and I am overcome with emotions of gratefulness. I look straight ahead and see Allie with the most fabulous smile you've ever seen and just above her picture I see Emma Day and Fieldon side by side.
Be grateful today.
We've had quite a wonderful week at the Eisenberg homestead. On Tuesday, our niece, Shayna and her friend Natalie, arrived from Oakland for a 10 day visit. We've been very busy and have had the best time. Tuesday night we met Dennis' parents for dinner. Wednesday night we went to Midieval Times. If you have a Midieval Times in your city, I strongly recommend it......we had an absolute BLAST!!!! The boys were in complete amazement. Thursday the girls and I went to see Movin' Out. This is a musical set to 20 of Billy Joel songs and set to dance. No dialogue. A little different but quite entertaining. That night we ate at home. Friday the girls and I had mani's and pedi's then Sushi for lunch. That night we had Shabbat at home with Dennis' parents. Saturday, we had lunch at the Galleria then the girls shopped for a few hours. Shayna's mom, Melissa, came in town on Saturday afternoon. Saturday night dinner at Positano's. If you live in Dallas, you should really try this restaurant....it's great. Then last night was the big event! We threw a surprise 50th wedding anniversary dinner party for Dennis' mom & dad. Can you even believe two things: they've been married for 50 years and none of the 80 year olds spilled the beans. INCREDIBLE! It was such a memorable event. And of course it wouldn't be complete without Sam & Ethan speaking to the room about Leukemia, radiation and sharing bone marrow. I swear my kids perform like circus monkeys sometimes, it's so funny!
Life is good!
Shayna and Natalie have made the move to their other uncle's house so I'll spend the week trying to lose all the weight I gained last week. Yikes!
Lauren and I, the four boys, along with one of our favorite sitters, Kristen, leave on Saturday morning for La Jolla. The kids are so excited but really I think Dennis is the most excited of all. He's actually taking the entire week off to do NOTHING! Must be nice. I can't even imagine. Then the husbands come out on the following Thursday for 2 nights. We're home for a week, then fly to Denver to pick up the Richkers and drive up to Yellowstone. We have a really busy and fun few weeks coming up.
I wanted to also say Thank You to all of you that have signed Sam's guestbook and mentioned that you've seen his picture on the Light the Night marketing pieces. It's so cool that he's on them but really neat that all my cyber friends have seen them.
My children fill my heart with such incredible joy. They're funny and bright and sensitive and annoying and everything in between. I'm just so grateful we're all together.
Have a glorious week and smooch those little lips!!!!!
xxoo,
Dana
Saturday, July 9, 2005 3:15 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
I think Dennis & I just spent the best 3 hours with our children ever! We just returned from the circus!!!! Oh my gosh it was just amazing seeing the circus through our kids eyes. I have been so excited about today for a couple of weeks. Then Dennis said he had to work today. I begged him to get coverage. I just KNEW he would be remiss if he missed this. He got coverage and quite frankly hasn't stopped smiling since we left the American Airlines Center. I know there are some that boycott the circus for animal rights issues, but I have to tell you, we had the time of our lives. I think I've been to the circus once when I was like 6. It seemed a lot bigger then, obviously since I was so small. But the performances were just awesome! I do have to mention that those incredible 3 hours did cost us a whopping $300. I have always heard that the circus is incredibly expensive, but I had no idea just how much. Anyway, it was soooo worth it and kids will be talking about it for a long time to come. My most favorite thing in the world right now is creating lasting wonderful memories for them.
Last night the Tonge's came over for a delicious dinner followed by a little swim. Lauren and her kids joined us in the pool and for dessert. We have such a great neighborhood. At the drop of a hat, someone's eating over someone's house. I just love it.
Tonight we're having dinner with the Zlotky's and Katz's. As you know Andrea turned 40 last weekend, but this dinner is DEFINITELY NOT A BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION!!!!!!!!!! I hope I've made that perfectly clear. We're trying a new restaurant (to us, anyway) called Nandina. I'll let you know how it is. We've heard a lot of great things about it. It's like a Japanese tapas restaurant. Can't wait! Should be much better than that sodium-filled hotdog I had at the circus. Although I should mention, I happen to love "ballpark-like franks".
The most fabulous thing happened on Wednesday. Andrea had a friend, Leora, whose company had 24 VIP tickets + Platinum parking passes to the circus to give away. They got in touch with Jenny and with a few phone calls, Jenny was able to get those tickets in the hands of HFC kids. Twelve will be going this afternoon and 12 tomorrow. I'm just thrilled about this. I can't tell you how great my friends are. I'm just the luckiest girl in the world (as if you didn't know.)
Here's another really cool deal that benefits Heroes for Children. An independent rep for Usborne (sp?) books is donating her commission along with actual books to HFC for this month. Check it out: www.ubah.com/BF/16255. I ordered 10 books yesterday and can't wait until they come in.
Also, please be sure and send my friends the Feyh's your thoughts and prayers. Their son, Daegen, is very close to losing his battle with cancer. Their website is: www.dmanhero.com. It's so devastating knowing this is going on. So many little children being taken from us all in the name of cancer. I really wonder when cancer will be a thing of the past. Will it be during our children's, grandchildren's or great grandchildren's life? I don't know, but I do know someday it will end.
I guess that's the scoop for the time being. I hope your weekend is full of dancing horses, crazy clowns and astonishing acrobats!
All our love,
Dana & Family
Tuesday, July 5, 2005 9:28 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
What has happened to my most "PERFECT" children? Where have they gone. Oh where, oh where have my perfect ones gone? Oh where, oh where can they be?
I distinctly remember writing for the past year about how amazingly perfect Sam & Ethan were. Have the drugs worn off or do I just have normal 4.5 year olds? Say it isn't so!!!!!
This was our weekend.....
Dennis had to go into the office on Saturday morning to do a fertility sonogram. That left me with the kids for the 3rd Saturday in a row. No biggie, right? Oy Vey! We took a shower, got everyone dressed with Q-tipped ears and sparkly teeth. I left them alone for, like 3 minutes, then went into the kitchen to get their sandals on. Guess what I found? That adorable sand-art project they had just completed the day before, all over my travertine kitchen floor. I'm serious, I've never seen so much colored sand on my surface in my life. I totally freaked out!!!!!!!!!! I mean the neighbors could hear me screaming. My kids never do things like this. Oh, but wait, it gets much better...I was dressed to work out with my trainer when Dennis arrived home to find me sucking up the sand with the garage shop-vac. He saw me swearing under my breath and cursing to no one in particular when he said, "Honey go ahead and work out, I'll take care of this." I was in one of those moods where I just snarled and said, "Gee thanks, you *&^hole." Of course it was not his fault whatsoever, but I was furious as if it was.
I went and worked my butt off with my new personal trainer, Chance, (Julie S.'s trainer) and felt much better after that. We ran some errands and took the kids out to lunch that day. We later made our way home, and put them down for a nap which they basically laughed in our faces and proceeded to find an open box of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda in the pantry. I have no idea how an OPEN box got in there (okay, probably Elvia), but Sam decided to dump it all over the pantry floor. Mess #2. The day would not have been final without me feeding Mermaid & Bob (the kids' new fish) and Dennis startling me and the entire cup of dish food dispersing on the floor. Keep in mind, this fish food is the size of a grain of salt. That was it for me....I headed towards the red wine.
Monday was a total day of action. We awoke at 8:30am just to realize the neigborhood parade was just 15 minutes away. We all got dressed and headed off to the starting point. Of course, our kids were the only ones who didn't have bikes decorated. We suck as parents, it's official! We managed to do the parade walk and made it to the ending point before the rains came. We raced home in time to load the kids up for swimming lessons. Can you belive Emler was open on the 4th? I was actually glad because it gave Dennis a chance to see the kids in action. We learned that day that both kids would be advancing to the next level. Sam will be able to bypass Ethan's current level....he's really made such strides. It will still take him a few lessons to get caught up but they feel he's really oncourse. Next, I went to my trainer (again, can you believe they were open on the 4th?) and Dennis took the kids to his office and to run a few errands. We met up and went to lunch where Sam was totally off kilt and basically spent the entire time facing the wall in a time out at Mi Cocina. Ethan repeated what a good boy he was and didn't need a time out. We came home and threatened the boys into a good nap. it worked and Dennis & I also got one as well. Next, we were onto the afternoon/nightly activities. First a 2 hour stop at Dennis' brother and sis-in-laws for an afternoon of swimming, eating and drinking. We did all the damage we could there, before arriving at the Jacoby's for what we would soon learn was the "throw-down" party of the summer. Seriously, it was fantastic!!!!!!!!!! Swimming with a hiring Life Guard, catered food; mexican and hotdogs/hamburgers/fruit, a snowcone machine, an icecream cart, a margarita machine and an infloatable water slide to add to their already fabulous playset, trampoline and volleyball court. I'm serious when I say, I haven't been to a more fun party in years.
It was quite an emotional time for us as we reflected back on July 4th, 2004. As we watched in awe as the Glen Eagles fireworks shot off, we couldn't help but remember that Sam & Dennis were in the kitchen of 12 South last year watching out the window as the fireworks lit up the sky all over Dallas. I was with Ethan and the Smith's enjoying the fireworks at The Roughriders Stadium. We've come along way baby!
A special thank you to Janie Werner for her guestbook enry. It was so great to hear from you and be made aware that Sam & Bill's pic was in the NY Times. I'd love a copy.
We're leaving soon for La Jolla, CA. Just me and the boys along with my great friend, Lauren and her twin boys. I'm so looking forward to this time away from the Dallas heat and especially excited that Kristen ("the babysitter extraordinaire") will be joining us. Our plans for Denver/Yellowstone are well in the works and that should be a trip which provides lots of funny journal entries. Lastly, we've book 8 days at Disney World in October. I'll take pad and paper to document all the mishaps I expect on that trip.
Life is such an incredible blessing. My children are simply horrible. Exactly what they should be at this age, right? My husband and I fight nightly about the dispersement of responsibilities and neither of us ever wins. Like I said, exactly where we should be, right? It beats living on 12 South!
Thank you a million times over for continuing to read what must be a "boring journal" by now. I do love hearing from you and read the guestbook entries often. Have the most fabulous week imaginable! That's my goal!
Lots and lots of love,
The Eisenberg's!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 10:23 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
I know, I know, it's been too long since I last posted. Please forgive me. You know it's really hard finding the motivation to write when everything is just so good. I pray I don't jinx myself with those words.
The boys are quite simply perfect (from a health perspective). They're totally LOVING camp. Everyday is something new and exciting. Each week a different theme. They come home with various art projects in their backpack that they're just too excited to share with me. I have decorated my kitchen from top to bottom with these beautiful pieces. They are taped all over the refrigerator, tied to each cabinet hardware fixture, etc. It's just been the best summer we've ever experienced as a family, thus far.
The other day I thought I would do a posting and it would be about nothing more or less than.......our last few weeks have been a total
"love fest!" I'm serious, we are all in love with each other like never before. We can't help but kiss and love on each other whenever the time allows. All four of us......kissing, hugging, caressing (in a complete normal way) and so forth. We're really getting to know one another on a different level. There's no possible way that I can explain it without some nut out there sending me a nasty guestbook entry that I'm a perv or something. I don't care, our life is....is....perfectly right for us.
My relationship with Sam is so completely different than my relationship with Ethan. Does it have to do with us both being cancer survivors...most definitely. Does it have to do with Sam being so incredibly mature beyond his years...absolutely. Does it make me love Sam any differently than Ethan.....no way possible! Just differently. Sam and I converse in a more mature matter. We look into each other's eyes and connect. As I've written before, we are able to comfort the other. Really weird from a kid less than 5 years old, but it's the truth. And you know what......it's not just me. Other's notice Sam's intellect and comment on it. No one EVER makes Ethan feel less than Sam in ANY way possible. Ethan is Ethan and Sam is Sam. They are two individuals with different personalities, quirks, and so forth. It's very interesting and fun to have multiples.
Speaking of which....I've been recently following a boy named Jacob from Florida. He has a caringbridge site, just plug in FL/Jacob and you can access his website. He's one of triplet boys and reminds me a lot of Jarod from FL who is also one of triplets. He's been battling cancer so courageously and his parents seem really cool. Stop by and say, "hi", something I have yet to do.
Tonight, the boys were telling ME a bedtime story and Ethan just cracked me up. He was telling me a story and used the word "meanwhile".....blah, blah, blah and then he said, "at last!", blah, blah, blah. I seriously laughed outloud. He comes up with stuff that really makes me laugh.
Goodness, there's so much to discuss. Our LLS Girl's Night Event is in the works for July. Stay in touch for the day/venue in the next few days.
Heroes for Children has now officially moved into an office compliments of Andrea Peskind-Katz and Kushman & Wakefield. Andrea is on the HFC Advisory Board and has produced some outstanding benenfits for HFC thus far. Andrea, thank you for being such an incredible friend and sharing all of your resources with us. You're an awesome girl and I'm so lucky to call you my friend!!!! Happy 40th baby!!!!!
There's a novel more that I'd love to share but my wine glass is empty. Always a good sign to log off.
Thank you for taking the time to read this posting. It always floors me to know so many of you are still interested enough to follow our story.
Lots and lots of love,
Dana & family
Friday, June 17, 2005 8:07 PM CDT
Dear Friends and Family,
In the last few weeks 2 women I know have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. You can follow their journey through Caringbridge. One is www.caringbridge.org/tx/jillt and the other I can't seem to locate at this moment. They are basically going through the same protocol of chemo although one already had a lumpectomy and the other will have a mastectomy in a few months. I'll post Sandy's site once someone refreshes my memory.
A few weeks ago, I received a really unique publication called Visions. It's a published work of stories, artwork and poems from the Schechter middle school kids. I was perusing the book and came upon the most beautiful poem and want to share it with you.
A MITZVAH
A mitzvah, a good deed, given from the heart,
Sharing and caring plays a big part.
My project is very important to me,
it is helping define who I want to be.
It is better to give than it is to receive,
To help those less fortunate is good I believe.
Warm woolen caps to keep out the cold,
To the ill and the poor, they're as valuable as gold.
Two brave kids gave me inspiration for this.
Fighting cancer, with a hug and a kiss.
Battling their challenges with dignity and a smile.
Because of them I've gone the extra mile.
They have taught me who I am.
Carly Levitt, '06
Carly Levitt is the daughter of one of our amazing preschool teachers. When she learned of Sam's fight with Leukemia last year, she decided to perform the ultimate mitzvah (a good deed). She, along with a few others, knitted baby caps and sewed in a tag that read, "In honor of Sam & Allie." then distributed them to area hospitals. These beautiful caps enabled premature babies to remain warm. I was so amazed and blessed with Carly's instinct and compassion.
Then today I received our school's publication, The Blueprint. As I was reading through I noticed Carly's name mentioned so many times. You see today I learned not only is she an incredible little spirit, she happens to be really bright as well. She received the Mensch Award for her graduating class of 2006, she was on the High Honor Roll for all 3 semesters as well as on the Citizenship Honor Roll. She received an award for Varsity Sports in Volleyball and was a Student Congress Officer. That is just a few of her many accomplishments! Carly, I'm so proud to know you and your family and want to thank you again for putting in so many hours of work knitting with those fabulous caps last year. You are truly an inspiration!!
The kids have had an awesome week. Monday and Tuesday was a Jewish holiday so the kids were home with Camp Mommy. They went the remainder of the week and had the greatest time. I have to say, Sam thinks camp is the best thing that has ever been invented. It's simply a non-stop party in his eyes. Today, during the Shabbat service evidently Ethan's class was on the bema and Sam and Ethan were waving to each other and blowing kisses. Several people came up to me and described the scene as simply brilliant. They were so connected and were able to express it in such an innocent way. Oh, how I wish I had witnessed it.
The kids are really gearing up for Father's Day. They each made a special art project for Dad, but insisted on opening it up themselves. Too cute!
Don't forget to get your cute personalized note pads, cards, return labels, etc. at: www.princessofpaper.com.
Happy Father's Day to all those Daddy's!
Have a great weekend!
Love,
Dana
Friday, June 10, 2005 7:41 AM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
I've been so lazy lately with regards to Sam's journal. This week has been really calm compared to the previous two.
The boys started camp at Schechter this week and are having such an incredible blast. I held them out on Monday so they could go to swimming lessons and then to see "Hank, the cowdog" at the Plano Repertory Theater. I've been so into theater performances lately and the kids are really enjoying it.
Sam thinks camp is simply the greatest!!!!! He literally claps his hands and jumps up and down when we discuss his day. The kids go from 9:30 until 1:00 and are pretty exhausted after that. Most days they nap which gives me extra time to basically do......nothing! Well, that's not exactly true, I always have stuff to do for instance a couple of days ago I cleaned out the garage. There wasn't much to throw out, just organize the toys, strollers, car seats, tricycles, bicycles, motorcycles, helmets, street chalk.....you get the picture. I had to pick the most humid day of the week to tackle this job and must have lost at least one pound in sweat. Speaking of pounds, I'm still at the same weight loss of 6-7 pounds. I haven't lost anymore but have fortunately not gained any of it back. I still need to lose another 10 pounds ideally, but just not too motivated right now. I started Yoga this week. At my Curves location, they are now offering Yoga. Let me clarify, it is not part of the Curves franchise, it's just being offered at the location during off hours. Monday night was great! I loved the instructor. Then I went again on Tuesday afternoon. The day & night instructors are different and that woman kicked my butt! I was sore for the next 3 days and wasn't able to do anymore this week.
Last Sunday, Dennis, Lauren Z. and I participated in the Plano Komen Race for the Cure. It's a 5K (3.2 miles) and we all walked/ran. Dennis, being his ADD self, got really ansy while waiting for it to start and refused to stretch out. Let's just say the poor guy spent a lot of time in the hot tub this entire week. He was soooooo sore. I have no idea how he's going to do 13 miles in November with me. Well, for that matter, I don't know how I'm gonna do it since I haven't been to a single training session. Team in Training meets every Saturday at 7am. Just not my cup of tea but I know without proper training, I'll have problems.
The boys are doing better with regards to the whole sleep issue. They are now going to sleep most nights in their own beds. Eventually, they both make their way down but at least I get a few hours of sleep without the addition of 4 extra kicking legs.
Ethan woke up at 3am Thursday morning with a temp of 103.1. I took him in yesterday and he tested negative for strep so it's just a virus. His temp broke yesterday evening around 6pm so that wasn't bad at all. He had such a headache and sore throat. It's going around big time. We were the 8th patient yesterday with exactly the same symptoms. So far Sam is fine. When the kids first opened their eyes this morning Sam's first words, "How do you feel today Ethan?" It was soooooo incredibly thoughtful. It just made me smile and feel so proud of my kids.
Kristin is leaving tomorrow for a whole month at Lake Tahoe. I'm so gonna miss her, we talk everyday and see each other several times each week. I'm already bored thinking about her being away for so long. If any Netsavers pop up, we're there.
Keep Kayla Vancleve in your thoughts as she had her transplant last week. Her mom is keeping vigil at Medical City so check in on her website: www.caringbridge.org/tx/kaylavancleve.
The 3 day/60 mile Susan G Komen walk is this weekend. Good luck Tina G. and Tamar M., I'll be thinking about you.
I guess that's the news for the week. Life is certainly good. Have a great weekend.
Love,
Dana
Friday, June 3, 2005 11:08 PM CDT
Dear Friends and Family,
Oh My God....what an action packed week. I have to go and get my calendar to adequately describe our busy schedule. Hold on, I'll be right back.
Okay, here we go....school ended two weeks ago on the 20th so since then it's been "Camp Mommy" around here. I know you women can all relate.
I met Jenny on that first Tuesday to discuss an outline for our potential book. It's horribly preliminary and may just be a figment of our imagination, but thats what this journal has been all along, right? We'll see how far it goes. In any event, it was a great first meeting of the minds. Later that day, we attended a going away party for some friends who have now moved to Virginia. They had a really fun swimming party at Glen Eagles. Ethan had a blast, the water was too cold for Sam, but he kept Josh's grandparents occupied.
On Thursday, the 26th, Andrea had coordinated a girls night out at Roys. I think that I mentioned that in last weeks posting. Oh well, bare with me until I get caught up to this week.
The boys started swimming on the 30th and did great. It's apparent that Sam will stay in the lower level class for the time being. He happens to love his instructor named Susie and Ethan adores George. It actually works out really good until the end of the lesson when the parent is supposed to go inside the glass windows and speak with the instructor. The instructor at that time tells you how your kid did. The problem is that Sam and Ethan are in the same pool just at opposite ends. It's a little hard to be in 2 places at one time as we all know. I remember getting both kids dressed for a playdate after swimming but can't remember who it was with or where. The days are just melting into one another.
Cameron moved back in with her mom last Sunday. Dennis, the kids and I were out somewhere when she called to say her mom was on her way. I said, "Okay, I'll talk to you later." I really didn't realize that was it. I'm used to her going to her mom's on Sunday but she's always home by the evening. She's now officially back at her mom's, except she's with us for the weekend as her mom is out of town. We received a card on Tuesday that was so perfectly written, thanking us for giving her all the opportunities and what great kids Sam and Ethan were. It was a really sweet note and meant alot to us.
Okay, fast forward to Wednesday of this week. We had a small swimming get together over here. I think there were 4 moms with kids. Poor baby Jake got stung by a very aggressive bee but recovered exceptionally well. Kristin said he, "took one for the team." Very true.
Thursday was the marathon mommy day. We started out by meeting about 7 moms and kids at putt putt. We stayed for 2.5 hours and had a blast. The highlight was when all moms and kids took turns racing go-karts. I think the funniest thing was how sore I was today. I'll get to that in a minute. After putt putt, some of us went to Carmine's for a piece of pizza and video games. That consisted of one hours worth of, "I need more money...." We came home, changed clothes and were off to the State Fair Music Hall for a musical performance of Peter Pan starring Kathy Rigsby. Fortunately, one of my friends told me it was a 2+ hour show with 2 intermissions so her advice, "go late and take snacks." Thank God we spoke cause she wasn't kidding. We arrived an hour late and it worked out perfectly. Four year old kids can't be expected to sit that long but Sam & Ethan did great. Jenny joined us as well. We arrived home about 5:10 to chill for an hour or so before loading back up for the Roughriders game. Our temple brotherhood organization had arranged a section for members. We thought the seats were horrible but quickly saw lots of people we hadn't seen in months. The kids ran around like banchies (sp?) and had the time of their lives. For the first time in their lives they ate a hotdog with a bun. Can you even imagine not eating a hotdog with a bun?
Sam is on a fabulous new schtick....trying new foods. He had his first bite of pizza on Wednesday. Seriously, his very first bite. He's grown very fond of "good" hamburgers, not fastfood and has taken a real liking to mac & cheese. He even tasted a carrot the other day. He's getting such incredibly positive feedback that it's feeding his desire. Such good boys!!!
After yesterdays marathon day, I was catatonic today. Seriously, I slept until 9:30 while the kids were riding their tricycles inside. I finally regained consciousness and was able to run a few errands before taking my aching body to The Grand Spa for a massage. That go cart ride on my nearly 42 year body really reeked havoc. Hey Priscilla....thanks for that fabulous massage you gave me last August, it was definitely the ticket.
I guess that brings me to tonight. We met 2 couples at Zorba's for some yummy greek food. Dennis was able to finish his meal before he was paged to a delivery. That was good.
Tomorrow, Dennis & I along with thousands upon thousands of people will be participating in the Plano Race for the Cure. I'll be walking/running in celebration of myself, Lynn Newman, Tamar Miller, Sandy Wilson Siebert and Jill (recently diagnosed with breast cancer), along with the countless others who have lost their lives to breast cancer. Tomorrow, I will be included in the survivors picture. The Plano walk is different from the Dallas walk. This is only my second time to do the Plano walk and I'm really looking forward to it. I know we'll see many familiar faces. After that, Sam & Ethan have a Make a Wish event at Maggiano's Northpark. They'll participate in creating a Texas sized strawberry shortcake. At 2pm they have a t-ball game then we'll all just collapse. Tomorrow night Dennis & I will attend a couples baby shower for a very good friend and our nephew, Cameron, will spend the night.
I can't possible type anymore as reliving the last few days has made me nauseous (in a good way, of course.)
I PROMISE TO GET NEW PICS UP SOON. These boys are amazing and crack me up daily. They say the most hilarious things. I wish I had written them down this week, you would have loved them.
Have a fabulous weekend and thank G-d camp starts on Monday.
xxoo,
Dana
Friday, May 27, 2005 8:50 AM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
The funk has lifted. I'm feeling much better. Yuck, that sucked. The morning after I wrote that last journal entry, I sat on my bed with my laptop and just wept as I read all the amazing guestbook entries you sent my way. Wow! It's truly so uplifting that you all took the time to cheer me up. I received many personal emails as well, and I apologize if I haven't personally written you. I promise I've read all of them. (Lynn, I have taken yours to heart!)
Onto happier moments......
The kids have been a pleasure this week. We've been in the pool no less than 2 times daily and Sam has really given up his fears. He's letting go of his anxiety and trusting us more that we won't let anything happen to him. He's been practicing holding his breath under water, and quite frankly, I think he can hold his longer than I. He's also watching Ethan and trying to emulate "big arms and big kickers." The kids start swimming lessons this Monday and I think Sam will be moved up to Ethan's level in no time.
Last night as a result of my last post, Andrea organized a "girl's night out." Jenny, Kristin, Andrea, Lauren, and Judy all joined me at Roy's. Coincidentally, Karla was there as well with some other friends, so lots of my support team was there. We had a good time and laughed a lot. Thanks Andrea...that was much needed!
In case you haven't read Jenny's post,.....never rely on a sonogram at 13 weeks to determine the sex of your unborn baby. That's right! She and Andrew went in for a "gender check" aka (penis check) and low and behold.....no penis! So, we've all prepared ourselves for baby Drew and now baby Maggie will make her debut in October/November. It's confirmed....she's 17 weeks and to my medical knowledge the gender doesn't typically change at this stage of the game. :)
We're having a joint baby shower in September for Jenny and Larissa so I'll keep you all posted. I would imagine the girls would prefer a donation made to HFC in lieu of gifts, but I know how you girls are, and some may still want to send a little something.
Jenny is now a fulltime employee for Heroes and Larissa will be soon. We're excited about the girls being able to spend their full energy towards growing the organization. HFC has really taken off and we're just loving it.
Onto my other passion, don't forget about our Girl's Night Out event benefitting 12 South Angels and the LLS. The next one is June 7th, at 7pm with the location being Obzeet. Twenty dollars will get you in the door to enjoy coffee and dessert. Hey Vanessa, I think you might want to think about baking extra that week as I hear we're going to have quite a crowd. Some of the raffle items include a $100 gift certificate to Maguires and a $100 gift certificate to the Grand Spa. I believe there might be others as well. Please plan ahead with your hubbies/babysitters so you can join us.
That's the news for the moment. Enjoy your long weekend and be safe!
Love,
Dana
Monday, May 23, 2005 10:45 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
Denise, thank you for your email, you motivated me to post.
Life couldn't be any better, so what is my problem? I don't know. I have been in a really bad place for the past week. Flat. Sad. Mad. Unsettled. Unfulfilled. How dare I have these feelings much less verbalize them? I don't know what on earth is my problem. I have everything! I have my family. I'm ashamed to share this with you but I thought I'd start with you rather than a therapist (which by the way has been suggested no less than 30 times this week.)
I'm trying to figure it all out. I know of a few kids that will not win their battle with cancer and that is playing heavy on my heart. I check in on their websites daily awaiting that dreadful news that their life on this earth has come to an end. I don't know these kids at all, but I think I know those horrific feelings the parents are feeling.
Sam is alive, yet I play out that scenario daily. What the hell is wrong with me this week?
School ended on Friday and we had the best time last week. Ethan had his class end of the year party on Wednesday and Sam's class on Thursday. Friday was their last regular school year Shabbot. It was incredibly special and cathardic for me. Sam has missed an entire year of Shabbots. He doesn't remember the songs or the hand gestures that go along with the service, yet he enjoys being a part of it nonetheless.
The boys will begin summer camp at Schechter soon (in about 2.5 weeks) and then my dilema starts. What will I do from 9-1 each day? I don't need Elvia full time and that is another dilema. Where does my world go from here. It's kind of like post traumatic stress syndrome (in a very weird way). I've grown so accustomed to being with Sam constantly that the thought of him having a normal life, being away from me, has left me a bit scared. Flat. Depressed.
I've taken it out on Dennis really hard this week. Why is it that we hurt the ones we love the most? It's so horrible and ridiculous. Dennis, apologizing has been really difficult this week. How can I ever express my shame regarding my behavior adequately? You know my feelings for you and I hope you'll be able to put this week behind you. I know I owe you better than this, but for the time being, please accept my utmost remorse and embarrassment for my disgusting actions. I could never love any man more than you.
I'm still hanging onto 8 pounds and haven't been committed enough to drop them. Maybe they're part of my comfort zone? Who knows? I want to be the person I was just a few weeks ago. Strong. Defiant. Relentless. Where did that girl go? I need her back. I need to stay focussed and not waver in my goals. I'm not content nor comfortable in my present mindset.
Other than my weirdness, everything is fabulous. The boys are swimming like little fish. Sam has really turned the corner and let down his guard. He's jumping off the side of the pool and swimming towards the steps all the while hovering by my body in case he gets scared. Ethan is fearless. Today he learned how to do a cannonball and a "dive" off the side of the pool. Ethan is simply delicious and the easiest kid. I crave that kid.
It's time for Sam and I to have a little distance. We've been discussing the concept of mommy and daddy sleeping together and that kids need to sleep in their own room. Currently, they both asleep in their room, however, it's only 11:13 and I imagine they'll end up in my room. I lost it the other day. I broke down due to lack of sleep and missing my husband in my bed. We really discussed this with Sam and we know he gets it. He's trying to stay in his room. We threaten to lock his door, etc., however, it breaks my heart to see how difficult it is for him to stay in his room. We're going to take it slow but be firm.
My life couldn't be any better. I hope my mental status gets back into the game soon.
Thank you for encouraging me to write this week. Sometimes, I need a little prodding.
All my love,
Dana
*********************************************
So now it's almost 1am and I'm wide awake. My lover, Sam, made his way down to my room nearly and hour ago. The truth of the matter is I'd rather have him in my bed than not. I fully realize this is not a healthy state of mind, but who the hell cares when you've almost lost your kid? Here's my pity party!
Night Night!
Dana
Monday, May 9, 2005 9:34 AM CDT
Dear Sam & Ethan,
Today I write to you.
Long before you were a reality you had implanted within my heart. I would dream of you for 3 long years before being able to feel you kick inside my tummy. Daddy and I tried and tried and endured two losses before you came to be.
You were meant to be.
This note is a note of gratefulness and gratitude for all that you have brought to my life. You were born 6 weeks premature and would stay in the NICU for 19 days. But I never worried that you wouldn't be perfectly fine. Sam, you were born with a heart murmur but it had resolved before age 1. You then had surgery to correct a hernia problem. I never worried that you wouldn't be perfectly fine. Ethan you had severe sleep apnea. You would have two surgeries; one to remove your adenoids and put tubes in your ears, then later for a tonsilectomy. You have stayed in the hospital 2 nights so far in your tiny little life. I never worried that you wouldn't be perfectly fine.
As you know, Mommy had breast cancer in 2002. For the first few months after my initial diagnosis, I DID worry that I wouldn't be perfectly fine. I mourned the idea of not being alive to see you both grow. I would lay in bed and look at our family portrait on our bedroom wall and vision all that I would miss. Now, I never worry. I know I'll be here for all that you have to learn, experience and explore.
Sam, when you were diagnosed with AML, I worried the most ever. How could my baby have Leukemia? How could I bare the concept of losing you. Tears are flowing as I reflect back. Sam, I was very worried that you wouldn't be perfectly fine. Now that you have survived this dreaded beast, why do I still worry? I have a layer of fear that rests below my heart and above my stomach. When will that disentegrate? When will I be assured you'll be perfectly fine?
I watch as you boys interact with amazement and such joy. You are both so incredibly funny. You make me laugh. I hope we never reach the end of the laughter. You are my bright and shiny stars and I thank the Gods, Heavens and Universe that you are my children. Without you, there would be no Mother's Day for me.
I love you boys with every ounce I have. You are the reason. You are the reason. It was always about you.
xxoo,
Mom
*********************************************************************
Dear Friends & Family,
The past week has proven to be one of the socially busiest we've had.
We started out last Monday with Madeleine's Wish Party at Texas Scottish Rite Hospital. Sam didn't get a party, per se. Our wish happened so quickly, so it was really fun to see how full blown this event can be. Madeleine is just like a princess so it was only fitting that her wish would include a cincerella gown and tiara. After the fun entertainment inside, she was wisked outside where she departed by way of horse and carriage. Very elaborate. A lot of work going into making this one of the most memorable days of her little life. Now her family is enjoying Disney World.
Sam and Ethan had their first T-Ball practice of the season late that afternoon in extrememly frigid temperatures. Sam only lasted about 20 minutes. He was miserable and I just couldn't push him anymore.
Tuesday was relatively easy just very kid-infused. Elvia left early for her first prenatal appointment so it was just me and the kiddos. Oh! Have I mentioned my nanny is 13 weeks pregnant? Anyway, Dennis will handle her prenatal care then she'll deliver at Parkland, the county hospital.
Wednesday was a little insane. I had the day completely booked, then one of Dennis' best friends lost his father. The funeral was on Wednesday so I had to reschedule and shuffle stuff. I was glad to be there for Dennis. It's really hard for him as he reflects on his own parents. They're both 86. It's scary.
Thursday we had our first annual HFC Mother's Day luncheon. It was flawless! Approximately 100+ people attended. Jenny and Larissa both gave incredibly moving and inspiring speeches. Jacquelynn Floyd also spoke. She's a columnist for the Dallas Morning News. We left the luncheon and went to La Madeleine's to write our thank you notes. I came home, had one hour to relax, then off to our second event of the day. The annual Jewish Family Service fundraiser at The Westin. Dennis sits on the board, so he wanted to attend.
Friday was spent preparing for Saturday. I did sneak in a great lunch with Kristin and her son, Jake the Giant Baby, while our kids were at gymnastics.
Here comes Saturday! Dennis left early to round of his patients as he was on call this past weekend. I got the kids bathed and dressed each in their appropriate outfit. Saturday was their first T-Ball game, but Sam and I were committed to a Leukemia event. Dennis took Ethan and I took Sam. Sam and I attended the Team in Training Kick Off meeting at The Hilton. Sam is one of Dallas' Honored Heroes for this event. He was so excited to be able to go upfront and speak in front of 300+ people. I swear that kid is getting really used to all of this attention. I'm sure we're creating a monster. Next, we met back home dropped off the kids with their babysitter and kept on going. I had my nails and hair done in preparation of the next events. Dennis checked into The Anatole where we would spend the night. We had 2 events back to back. First, one of his partners got married on Thursday and the reception was Saturday at Hotel ZaZa. It was a nice event that started at 4pm. We left around 6:15, so we could change for the main attraction of the evening. The Make a Wish Gala. Oh My God, what a night. More than 1000 peopled dressed to the nines. It was such a blast!!!! Live and silent auctions, entertainment provided by wish kids, dinner, drinking (and a lot of that) and finally casino. We bid on several things but left prior to the auction ending so we'll find out this week if we won anything. We'll definitely be regulars at this fundraiser. A Cadillac was sold for about 10K over the retail price. It was tooooo fun!
Now that brings me to Sunday. As we lay in bed....together.....no kids, nursing bad hang overs, Dennis was beeped. He had gotten call coverage for Saturday night, but was now back on. We were just discussing the antics of the night and thinking about breakfast when that damn thing went off. Needless to say, Dennis had to race out and make his way back to Plano for a delivery. That left me alone with a horrific headache and room to pack that looked like and explosion had occurred. It took me a few hours to work up the energy but it happened.
The kids were simply adorable and delicious. They couldn't wait to say Happy Mother's Day and have me smell the beautiful flowers they had purchases. All day was filled with Happy Mother's Day, mommy. We met the Smith's for a quick bite then went to The Cottonwood Arts Festival. By this time, however, it was past the kids naptime and we only lasted about 45 minutes. The day ended for us, when Ethan wondered outside his view of us and went racing through the park screaming and crying at the top of lungs....MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY! Once I heard his scream, I went towards his cry only not to see him. I picked up the pace, people cleared a path for me and pointed in his direction. I still couldn't see him but could hear his panic screams. I was yelling his name but he couldn't find me. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Dennis raced ahead of me and caught up with him. He was hysterical. I grabbed him and held him on the ground until he calmed a bit. That was a moment I won't soon forget. It scared the hell out of me quite frankly. Thinking back on it now, I'm getting that sense of anxiety.
That was it. Sam cried the entire way home due to pure exhaustion while he kept saying, "I love you mommy." Everyone napped and the evening went smoother.
That brings me to Monday morning. I'll close for now as I'm sure you've all had to stop and get a snack after reading this ridiculously long journal entry. I put a few pounds back on this weekend so I'm off to the gym.
Please come to the Mother's Night Out event on Thursday. I'll be out of town, but can't wait to hear all about it. I've seen the movie....it's really good.
Lots and lots of love to all of you!
Dana
Sunday, May 1, 2005 10:28 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
This week will mark an important date for Jenny, Andrew and their family. It will be the one year mark of Allie's initial diagnosis. A milestone? Perhaps. A day for reflection? Definitely.
A few weeks ago, when we reflected back on Sam's one year mark, it was memorable to say the least. I felt inside my heart and soul every moment of that day. The feelings, emotions and actions, I replayed and replayed throughout the day. I spoke with my closest girlfriends and they described their emotions when I shared the horrific news. We all took a deep breath and reflected.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt how lucky our family is. AML in toddlers doesn't usually come with a favorable outcome. We only had a 25 percent chance that Ethan would be a match. My G-d, we've been lucky and blessed.
Tonight, I caught up on some of my favorite Caringbridge friends. I read Annie's latest posting of Fieldon and realized how each and every mother of a child diagnosed with a life threatening disease, enevitably shares the same fears.
Will I live to see my child make it one year past diagnosis? You see, the fact that you have a child in this situation, wreaks havoc on the parent as well as marriage and family. I remember distinctly early on, writing about my relationship with Dennis. Would it survive our son's Leukemia? There were honestly times, that I believed it wouldn't. I remember yelling matches in Sam's room as he was literally dying from the chemo we had agreed to inject into his body. Our world was spiralling out of control.
I often wonder how we made it through last year. We're not the pillars you might think. We're smart and realistic people, but not the kind of people that puts all of our faith in a "God." We believe in medicine and in doctors. We believe in the strength of our children. We believe in our family. We believe our God is there for comfort. I DO NOT believe God gave Sam and I cancer, nor do I believe he healed us, per se. How can you not believe in medicine and the knowledge of our doctors? It's hard for me, but remember, I'm married to a doctor so my opinion and perception is a bit skewed.
Tonight, I read Annie's journal about Fieldon and Emma Day. I respect her belief system, but really respect how she and Jack stepped up to the plate and did anything and everything to save their child's life. And they did, in fact. To see Fieldon today, you would not belive it was the same baby on 12 South just a few short months ago. Unbelievable! He is gorgeous...so full of life and loudness! Just the way I like 'em!
So in a couple of days, Jenny & Andrew will replay Allie's day of diagnosis. Will it be any different for them than it has been for myself, Annie, Amy, Rhonda, Connie or Lisa? No, I don't think so. There outcome was drastically different, obviously, but that initial day is a day none of us will ever forget for the rest of our lives.
Thankfully, Jenny, Andrew, Larissa & Kenny all will have a happy ending by November. They've lived through the worst of what the world can conjur up. They will survive, for that I'm grateful for these strong women in my life.
It's late and my precious children are officially in my bed watching Jimmy Newtron so I can finish this post.
Tonight, we celebrated Dennis' father's 86th birthday. We had a feast and a birthday cake iced and decorated by Sam & Ethan. It was simply a perfect ending to a beautiful family weekend.
I thank you for continuing to read Sam's journal. Tonight when I read that Annie will soon will signing off, I thought that maybe it was time for me as well. I don't, however, feel ready. With or without readers, it still feels good for me.
Have the best week of your lives!
xxoo,
Dana
Monday, April 25, 2005 9:32 AM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
Well, 48 Matzoh Balls later.....and we survived the first and second night of Passover.
The first night we had 14 and had an amazing seder! The second night was very impromptu and we had 18. Everyone brought a dish to last night's meal and we dined on our finest paper and plastic so it was really easy.
The first night consisted of family and the second night friends. We had a wonderful Passover this year. Last year we spent Passover at Medical City. I remember a group of girls brought the seder to us. Dennis & I reminicsed about that this weekend. It's so hard to believe it has been a whole year.
Just to elaborate on that point....Ethan began having sleep overs at his friend's houses as a result of Sam's time in the hospital. He was so young but did great and I think actually prefers sleeping at his friend's versus here. Saturday night, Ethan asked Kristin if he could sleep over with Max. "Pweeze, Kwistin....Pweeze?" Who could refuse that sweet kid? Not Kristin. So last night Max slept here. Early in the afternoon Sam decided he would sleep at Karla's with Aidan. Sam has NEVER slept at anyone's house before. After his nap, he had changed his mind which was no surprise at all. By the end of the evening, however, he was gung ho and went for it. I felt really really anxious about it. I just didn't really think he would go through with it. I was up all night worrying about him. To me, he's just a "tender little vittel." I know he's really not, but I still see him as fragile inn some regards.
Well everyone did fine! The boys here woke up at 6:20am but hung out in the playroom until 8am. Sam woke up crying at 6:10am. Karla went into Aidan's room and asked what was wrong. He wanted to know when it would be morning time. They looked out the window and she showed him how the blue sky was beginning to show and the moon was going away. Then she put on a movie and he was fine. Her boys didn't wake up until 8am. Last night Sam had asked Karla what she had for breakfast and she said homemade pancakes! He was all into that until Karla's oldest son, Austin, said he would be "keeping Passover" and would have matzoh for breakfast. At that, Sam vetoed the pancakes and opted for Matzoh as well.
Our kids are growing up so fast don't you agree? It's so hard to believe but it's our reality. Today they're sleeping at their friend's houses......tomorrow they'll be sleeping with ????????? Just kidding....don't send me mean emails.
The Heroes for Children 5K was fabulous! We had over 600 registrants. The weather wasn't very cooperative as it was FREEZING cold and soooo windy that morning. But you know, it didn't seem to deter the participants. I have to say the first 1.5 mile was basically uphill and against the wind. It was brutal. The tops of my thighs were soooo sore yesterday! Today it's a little better.
For all you locals come hang out with Sam & Ethan today from 4:30 - 6:00 at The Coldstone Creamery at Preston & Frankford. They'll be there serving up some delicious ice cream as part of a Make a Wish benefit. Come one, come all.....just come! I can't be held accountable for my actions if left alone in an ice cream store for 1.5 hours.
Jenny was able to find the exact web address for the story about the charity chopper and Sam. Go to Ebay and see if you can locate it. Whenever I put really long links on this site, it distorts the text. If you can't find it, email me at the yahoo address and I'll forward it to you! It has a really cute pic of Sam & Ethan on the chopper with Ray Evernham & Dave Perewitz standing over them.
And lastly, I've been sooooooo remiss in thanking a special woman for some of the cutest personalized notepads I received a few weeks ago. Her name is Liz Elvir and she has a really cute online company called, www.princessofpaper.com. Check it out as her designs are darling and prices really great! Liz, thank you for such a special gift and please accept my apology for the delay in thanking you properly! I use the pads daily.
That's it for now. Have a great week!
Love,
Dana
PS: Happy 40th Cousin Steve!!!
Friday, April 22, 2005 4:50 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
It's been a really long time since I last posted. Here's why.......
Life has been incredibly busy and so rewarding at the Eisenberg household. We had dinner with Larissa and her new husband (yes, that's right, Larissa got married last Saturday) as well as Jenny & Andrew last Thursday. That was the first time the 3 men had met and we had such a blast at Macguires.
Last Friday every minute was packed full. We missed out on Karla's 40th birthday bash in Vegas and really had a hard time with that, however, we spent several hours out at the Texas Motor Speedway participating in a media blitz/press conference. Ray Evernham (who has a son diagnosed with Leukemia 13 yrs ago), along with PPG and Dave Perewitz joined forces and created a custom built chopper. It will go on "the road" with Evernham's racing team over the next several months and ultimately will land on Ebay. The proceeds will then go back to the LLS. Ray has an organization called, "Racing for a Reason," and is very active in raising money for the Society. I gave a 2 minute (literally) speech in front of about 20 photographers/jounalists, the kids had their picture taken on the chopper as well as said a few words on the mic and the press release went out on the news wire. To learn more, google: charity chopper.
We made our way out of the tens of thousands of people at the speedway, journeyed home and put the kids down for a nap. We then had to wake them much too early to get them ready for our next event of the day. The American Cancer Society's Relay for Life at the SMU campus. Melissa Sweat, a volunteer at the Society and the sister to a sister with a blood disorder, asked me if I'd speak and get the event kicked off. It was sooo much fun being on a college campus and naturally one as prestigious as SMU. The kids had a blast in bounce house along with a few fraternity boys. Relay for Life is an all night walk-a-thon. Primarily made up of sorority's on this campus, they were able to raise more than $86,000. Amazing and Impressive! Sam and Ethan also grabbed the mic at that event as well and seemed to woo the pretty girls.
The kids are now getting pretty used to public speaking.
Dennis and I snuck away to the Four Seasons for a little reconnect time. We stayed in a really lovely villa on the ground level at the 18th hole. Our villa wasn't ready upon our arrival, so we hung out by the pool and the manager sent us a bottle of champagne for our "inconvenience." Yeah right, a real inconvenience! We dined at Cafe on the Green (the hotel restaurant) and had the very best time! Sunday morning we grabbed a quick breakfast, dashed home at 10:55, unloaded the car, loaded the kids and I was off to a birthday party which started at 11:00. The biggest problem with going away for 24 hours, is that you have to come back to chaos way too soon!
Monday was relatively quiet. Tuesday night I had bookclub. This is a group of 7 girls that get together monthly or so, drink a bunch of wine, eat some delicious food and hardly ever discuss the book. Our conversations inenvitably go to the forbidden topic of "schtooping." Yes, it's a yiddish word, but I feel pretty certain you guys can figure it out. It's always hilarious and typically everyone is a little embarrassed the next morning by what was divulged the night before.
Wednesday was another busy day. The boys had their Passover Seder at school. They were so adorable. The entire preschool was in attendance along with loads of parents. The teachers told the story of Passover with lots of animation and enthusiasm. The kids sang some really fun songs. We rushed away and made our way to Dennis' office. A cord blood banking company was making a video and Dennis was being interviewed. They also wanted footage of the kids. Later in the afternoon, they arrived at our house and I was interviewed. This tape is like a PSA and will be used by doctors to educate their patients on the incredible benefits of banking cord blood. That night, we were off to yet another speaking engagement. This time at the Westin Park Central. The meeting was hosted by Medical City Hospital and a non profit organization called the "The Gift of Life' (I believe that's the right name.) It was intended for stem cell, heart and lung transplant patients and their families. I gave a 5 minute speech on behalf of the stem cell patients and Dr. Lenarsky genuinely seemed to think that I did a good job. Of course the kids had their turn with the mic, then promptly started going crazy on the stage. Dennis took them out so I could finish.
Thursday night was Temple Shalom's Sisterhood Woman of the Year event which included dinner, a fashion show (Judy and Faith were among the women who modeled) and a silent auction. I won some really good stuff! A couple of small gift certificates through the raffle then a $500 value for a Wyndham Hotel at Disney World for only $150. Also, a sitting and portrait from one of Dallas' premier photographers, Judy Nordseth and lastly an evening when Rabbi Haus (the kid's Rabbi) will come with pizza and babysit for 2 hours. That is actually the best prize I think!
Today was a day spent in the kitchen. Tomorrow is the first night of Passover. Passover is a huge "food fest!" We're having 8 adults and 6 kids for the Seder. I made the brisket today along with the chicken soup (matzoh balls will be made tomorrow), boiled and chopped the eggs, made the haroset and set the tables. One for the adults and one for the kids decorated with lots of fun Passover stuff, books and coloring books. Oh and don't forget the frogs. A kids table is not complete without the frogs.
Tomorrow, we'll awake at the crack of dawn, and participate in the Heroes for Children 5K Walk/Run. It's not too late to register, as a matter of fact, you can register at the walksite tomorrow morning. The 1K family walk begins promptly at 7:30, then the main 5K starts at 8:00am. The location is Dicks Sporting Goods at Stonebriar Mall in Frisco. This was previously called Galyans. Last I heard, we had over 450 walkers registered so far and last year we picked up an additional 175 the morning of the race. Please come out and support this extremely worth while organization.
Mark your calendars for May 12th. This will be our first Mom's Night Out benefitting 12 South Angels and The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. We will be meeting at Studio Movie Grill in Plano at Park and Preston. If we have 50 people or more, we will have a PRIVATE screening of the new film starring Nicole Kidman and Sean Penn. If we don't have that many, then we'll have a section of the theater reserved for our group. So grap your friends and join us. The price is only $20 which gets you a ticket to the film, popcorn and soda. You can also purchase food from the menu and alcohol. Please RSVP to Jason Vincik @ vincikj@lls.org.
Lastly, a new online kids store called Dimples and Dandelions will be giving a percentage of all sales to 12 South. This is a new company owned by a 12 South walker from last year. Check it out...www.dimplesanddandelions.com. Really cute stuff.
Whew! That's it! The kids didn't take naps today due to their incredible excitement over Passover tomorrow so I'm a bit pooped! I can't imagine why!!!
PS (Jenny was admitted last night for IV fluids due to slight dehydration. She is one vomittey girl. She's back home now and doing much better. She will be at the 5K tomorrow.)
xxoo,
Dana
Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:45 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
It's incredibly hard to believe and realize that exactly 1 year ago today, we learned that Sam had Leukemia. Here is my very first journal entry. My brother, Greg, and close family friend, Kristin, had initiated Sam's journal and wrote updates for the first few days.
Thursday, April 15, 2004 10:14 PM CDT
Dear Family,
As you all know, this has been an explosive 48 hours. Our life as we knew it is changed forever, again. I will never forget Dennis' words on Tuesday morning when he contacted me with the news that our Sam has Leukemia. The next words out of his mouth were, "Get your support system in place!" With just a few phone calls you have all risen to the occasion. I know the words Thank You will cross my lips repeatedly over the next several months yet it will never truly indicate how much we appreciate all that you have already done and will continue doing for us. You have all touched us so incredibly with your outpouring of love. As you guys know, our support system is huge! Please know that we are getting all of your calls, yet cannot possibly respond to everyone that's why we thought this email update would be more efficient. Now onto the most important part: Our Sam. He is a real trouper. He's been poked and prodded more than you can imagine and has handled it relatively well. His central lines are in and had his first introduction to chemo on Tuesday afternoon. It was intrathecally placed (spinal cord fluid extracted then chemo injected directly into the spinal column). Tuesday evening started the "real first round". He's being given 3 different agents (drugs)over the next 11 days. Each day he'll be given 1, 2 or all 3 of the drugs. Last night he had a much better night than the previous. His white count came down considerably as a result of the chemo so his pain was more manageable. He had his first vomitting episode today. Naturally, it was 30 minutes after we changed his bedding and gave him a "bath". Figures....typical Sam...defiant! This is going to be the toughest fight of our lives as I know you all understand. Please keep the love and energy coming our way...we really need it.
All Our Love,
Dana & Dennis
When I read back over this first journal entry, little did I know how Sam's diagnosis would change my life. I knew it enevitably would, but obviously at the time, had no real clue.
Today Sam had his clinic appointment with one of the most loving doctors on the planet...Dr. Goldman. Sometimes, Dr. G plays with Sam for 10 minutes or so prior to beginning his examination. What doctors do that? Today, he said, "Sam, I sure love you," and Sam gave him a big hug. Sam's counts continue to be normal and we won't be back in the clinic for 4 weeks. That's the longest time in between appointment we've ever had.
Getting back to how my life has changed, well let's see......
I met my "soul sister", Jenny Scott. I witnessed the death of Allie and have experienced all that that vision involves. I've become "Relentless for a Cure" in my mission to support the LLS. I've given a few speeches, talked to many many people and have been interviewed and quoted in a few publications. But more importantly, I've finally found my purpose on this planet. It's now my responsibility to see it through.
Sam has given my life and future clarity and distinction. Ethan has enabled me to be "softer" in my approach to dealings with everyday stuff. Dennis has provided me the support to fulfill my new found mission. My family is my life, however I was not meant to be that of ONLY a wife and a mother. I have come to realize that by giving back to our universe, I am so incredibly fulfilled. I truly believe that we all have something to give back. You can touch someone in a way you never dreamed possible simply by an action.
People say there is always a lesson to be learned in the face of adversity. I don't know about a lesson, but it's nice to know I found something positive as a result of Sam's disease. I also realize on a daily basis that we are one of the few lucky ones when it comes to having a child with AML. Two of my close friends, Jenny & Larissa, did not experience the same outcome. Being friends with these women helps me to remember how close we were to losing Sam. I never want to forget that fear. It keeps me pure. It keeps me humble and it keeps me focussed.
It has certainly been a year I won't soon forget. Thank you to all who have followed our story, signed Sam's guestbook with words of encouragement and provided all the support a family could possibly hope for.
My love goes out to Sam, Ethan and Dennis. May the remainder of our life be cancerfree and each day be as beautiful as each of you are to me.
xxoo,
Dana
Saturday, April 9, 2005 4:54 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
12 SOUTH APPRECIATION AND KICK OFF PARTY TOMORROW!
SUNDAY, APRIL 10TH FROM 2-4PM!! OUTSIDE THE FOODCOURT AREA AT THE SHOPS OF WILLOWBEND IN PLANO.
LOTS OF FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!!!! FACE PAINTERS, BOUNCE HOUSE, A CLOWN THAT WALKS ON STILTS AND MAKES BALLOON ANIMALS!!!!
PLENTY OF FOOD PROVIDED BY A NUMBER OF VENDORS!!!!
RAIN OR SHINE, IT'LL BE A PARTY! IN THE EVENT OF RAIN, WE'LL JUST MOVE THE WHOLE PARTY UNDER THE GARAGE IN THE SAME LOCATION!!!!
SEE YOU ALL THERE!!!!!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Monday, April 4, 2005 9:18 AM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
How is everyone? I hope you all had a wonderful week. We sure did!
I have some really funny stories to start with. They all involve "potty" humor so get ready......
One day last week, I was in the backyard with the kids watching them play on their "Make a Wish" playset. They were having the best time. Sam's confidence has really improved and now he's climbing the rock wall and FINALLY going down the slide alone (albeit on his tummy.) For those who have been reading for a while, you know my kids love to pee outside. My husband thinks it's totally inappropriate, but I, however, could care less. Anyway, Sam dropped his pants and began peeing. He did this without my consent or knowledge at the time. It was only until I noticed he was screaming and getting mad that I turned and realized Jaffie was trying to "lick the stream." Sam would turn this way and that way to try and get his pee away from her but he wasn't quick enough. I wish I could have stopped the incident, but I was doubled over laughing so hard, I thought I was going to pee too! Sam was really mad now (with my response), so without even pulling up his pants, he began chasing Jaffie around the yard trying to hit her. Where was my camcorder, damn! It would have certainly been a strong contender for America's Funniest Videos.
The weather in Dallas has been perfect! A few days ago I turned the pool heater on and we've been playing in the pool and hot tub. The Zlotky's came over yesterday morning to take a dip. All four boys in the hot tub splashing and going nuts. Sam has started putting his face in the water. Remember, he was in the midst of swim lessons last year when he was diagnosed. Once the docs give me the green light, I'll re-enroll both of the kids. Ethan remembers quite a bit and will have no problem picking it back up. I imagine Sam will be in a different class but that won't be a big deal. Anyway, after swimming we got the 4 boys dressed and went out for lunch. We were sitting outside and took turns taking each other's kids to the potty. At one point, Lauren took Ryan and Ethan. She pulled down his pants and was waiting and waiting and finally said, "Ethan, hurry up and go!" Ethan replied with, "I did!" She looked in the toilet and there was no pee. She bantered back and forth with Ethan for a minute until she realized he had peed all over the floor. Here's the deal......Lauren's kids are the size of 6 year olds, she didn't realize Ethan wasn't tall enough to make the potty. After she cleaned the floor for ten minutes she returned to the table in absolute hysterics!!!!!!!!!!
But wait.....it gets much better! After lunch we met Kristin and her kids at the park. The kids had so much fun and by now were getting pretty worn out....as were the mom's. We left, returned home and I immediately put the kids in bed for a nap. After they were sufficiently down, I made a bee-line for the pool. Jaffie and I swam for a while then I got into the hot tub. I wasn't there long when "da da, da, da da,- please refer back to the swimming pool scene in Caddyshack." That's right, I saw something floating that sparked my curiosity. Oh Shit.....it was poop!!!!!!!! My mind immediately went back to the 4 boys in the hot tub earlier in the morning. I then remembered Ethan making an interesting face but I didn't realize my kid was pooping IN MY OWN HOT TUB!!!!!!!!! I scooped what I could with a towel and jumped out and ran inside to the shower. Unfortunately, there is still a "piece" at the bottom waiting for the pool guy to retrieve tomorrow. I'm laughing outloud as I'm writing this.
What's up with my kids? Just too funny!
Sam went back to school last Tuesday and Wednesday as planned. He walked in the class like he hadn't missed the last year at all. No reservations or awkwardness. I was so proud of him on that first day. His teacher, Beverly, gave me an idea about Friday. Our intent is to keep him away from school on days where multiple classes are gathered together in small venues. Obviously, Sam can catch a germ from me or you, but our hope is to minimize his risk. On Friday, which is a really special day at school...Shabbat, Sam sat in the back on a chair with me rather than on the floor with the other kids. Then went back to his classroom and finished the day. It was an incredible day for me as it was his first Shabbat in a year as well. He really didn't remember much of the "rituals" so I was able to explain as it proceeded. Knowing Sam, he'll remember everything for this Friday's Shabbat. He has a memory unlike anyone I've ever met, I swear.
Tonight, we have a 12 South Committee Meeting. We are in the midst of planning lots of fun events; Mom's Night Out, and will keep you all posted as they come to fruition. Remember, now's the time to sign up for the walk. It's not too early at all. You can go to the website at: 12southangels.com. Also the 12 South Kick Off party is coming up on April 10th from 2-4 at The Shops of Willowbend. It will be located outside the foodcourt area. There will be lots of fun stuff for the whole family; bounce houses, face painters, food, etc. Please RSVP to: vincikj@lls.org if you're planning on attending.
Tomorrow night we have a HFC Board meeting. The 5K walk/run is also coming up this month. The date is April 23rd and should be an absolute blast. For more info, please visit the Heroes website.
I think that's about the news for now. Hope your day is filled with lots of pee and poop events. Remember, we only have a few short years of this stuff before they're all grown up.
Cherish everyday, every incident!!! I'm so blessed!
All my love,
Dana
Tuesday, March 29, 2005 9:48 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
This will be a short post but just wanted to shout it from the rooftops:
SAM WENT BACK TO SCHOOL TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He hasn't attended school since the first week of April 2004. Nearly an entire year has past by. What a year it's been!
JENNY'S KNOCKED UP AND PUKY EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!! Isn't that just the greatest news? Keep the Zofran coming, Dennis.
FIELDON ATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's right, check out their site; www.caringbridge.org/tx/ormondfamily. He turns 1 next Tuesday and might even partake of his first birthday cake.
As for me, I've joined L.A. Weight Loss Centers (as of last Thursday) and have lost 3 pounds (as of Monday.) I've also rejoined Curves and worked out on Monday and will go again tomorrow. I'm planning on 3x per week. Finally, I've taken my weight into control -vs- letting it control me. Yippeee!
Next, I've signed up (through the encouragement or should I say badgering of Kristin) to do the Dallas Half Marathon Walk/Run through The LLS's Team in Training campaign. It's in November and I'm recruiting all my friends to do it along with me. I think we have 8 people so far and climbing. I'll run & walk but WILL complete the 13 miles. If you're interested in participating with our team, email me at; danaeisenberg@yahoo.com. I've never done anything like this before but am really excited about it. You don't have to be in shape or have running experience. The Team in Training mentors teach and train you. Contact me soon as the first meeting takes place in April.
As my OB/GYN reminded recently of some words I wrote many many months ago on Sam's site........"Life is a feast!!!!" It is indeed!
xxoo,
Dana
Thursday, March 24, 2005 7:35 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
Oh my gosh! I can't believe how many of you girls want to know my secret! Ya'll have been just cracking me up!
No......it wasn't Sam's picture.
No......it wasn't Sam's return to school.
No......I'm not pregnant....what are ya nuts?
Jenny has always engrained in the minds of her students, "If it's not yours to tell, you can't do it without permission."
Hey Jenny......can I PLEASE just tell the world that you're pregnant?????
xxoo,
Dana
Wednesday, March 23, 2005 1:35 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
What an incredible day I'm having. Elvia had to take her husband to the doctor today which I found out about at 7:30 this morning. Full speed ahead......took a shower, makeup, dressed, got the kids fed, dressed, teeth brushed and face washed, got Ethan's backpack and Sam's Emla creme then got Jaffie in the car as she had a much needed day at the spa. These are very normal things that most of you do each and everyday. I will tell you...it sure makes me value Elvia that much more. I'm not a morning person but today we all did fine and actually made it to school on time!
I decided to test the waters a bit and brought Sam into school this morning for 30 minutes before we had to be on the road for his appointment. He walked into his classroom which is caddy-corner from Ethan's and basically "jelled" right in. Little Nicole Schiff became Sam's best friend and "mothered" him around so sweetly. Lois and Esther came to see that Sam was back and took some pictures. I was afraid I was going to burst into tears at one point. Just watching him feel so normal back at Solomon Schechter was the greatest blessing of all. A few months ago, had he been physically ready to attend school, I don't he would have been emotionally. He was still pretty timid and truly such a germaphobe. Today, he was totally in his element. Not afraid or shy at all. His teachers were fabulous and made sure all the children met Sam. Some of them were meeting this "Sam" kid for the first time yet have heard about him for the past year.
We went to Sam's appointment, but I asked him to keep it a secret about school this morning. Didn't want to get reprimanded so early. Dr. Goldman saw Sam this morning and immediately Sam asked him, "Dr. Goldman, when can I go back to school?" It really threw Dr. G for a loop. But after much discussion we were given the green light for 2 days per week. Again, I almost burst into tears. We all clapped and cheered. We've really come full circle. Sam had a big discussion with Dr. G about Allie today. He'll remember that baby forever I'm convinced. They discussed her treatment and how it didn't work and that now she's in heaven. It was a normal "adult-type" conversation. I'm so proud of that child.
We got back to school a little early and Sam's class was going into Music. I asked Sam if he'd like to join the kids and this time he was a bit reluctant. He said, "sure, but will you come too?" I said I would in a few minutes after I went to Ethan's class. I never made it to Music and Sam never missed me. What an incredible day!
I have to end this before I'm ready, but Dennis is hovering over my shoulder wanting to run some errands.
I hope your day was as full of hope and joy as mine has been!
Thank you for all the amazing guestbook entries. I've read them all!
xxoo,
Dana
Thursday, March 17, 2005 10:30 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
It's Thursday night at 10:33pm and we're having WWIII over here. I'm deadset on falling to sleep ALONE!!!! Not very interested in having 4 extra arms and legs in bed with me right now. It's a total standoff right now. I keep promising to spank if they don't stay in their own beds....idle threats and they know it. This is the price I pay for their 2.5 hour nap today! My Bad!
I woke up this morning and turned to Sam and asked him if he'd like to go to gymnastics tomorrow. At first, he gasped like that was the greatest idea ever, then immediately thought it through and realized it was an activity that included several children and no Mom. He said, "No, I'd rather just hang out here with you and Elvia." I have this wild hair and think I might try and get him reacclimated to this one little extra curricular activity tomorrow. I have a 1pm conference call with the LLS, but will do it from my cell so I can be in the general vicinity of the Gymnastics facility. Part of me feels like I'm pushing the envelope a bit, but then I counter myself with, "Hey, he just did an airplane, Lego Land, The Wild Life Park, etc., he'll be fine." I'll see how my heart feels tomorrow.
There's ALOT of really special news I'm dying to share.....but damn, I just can't yet. Do ya'll hate me or what? Just having a little harmless fun with the few readers we still have on Sam's site.
Some really excited news to share is that the 12 South Angels website is up and running. Check it out: www.12southangels.com. You can register early and start your fundraising efforts now. Remember, our local team goal is $225,000! Whew, that's a lofty goal for sure. On a national level, the Friends of Allie team is dedicated to raising $600,000. Do you have any idea how much research to cure blood cancers this can fund? Me either, but I know it's significant.
My insurance company has agreed to pay 100 percent of a genetic test I will have. It's the BRCA 1&2 test that will determine if I'm a candidate for breast cancer recurrence and/or ovarian cancer. Dennis has urged me to proceed but now the question that comes into play is: What if it's positive? Would I have a bilateral mastectomy and/or have my ovaries removed? I can't imagine that I would. I think I would stay really vigilant on all breast exams/annuals. We had this discussion tonight and Dennis said, "What if it was determined too late?" I just don't see it in my case. I worry 100x more that Sam will have a recurrence than myself. I totally understand Dennis' concern. If the roles were reversed, I would have the same ones.
I have such a nasty sinus infection. It's been a really long time since I've been sick and actually felt like just lying around. This morning Cameron called from school and asked to be picked up as she wasn't feeling too good. Had it not been for that phone call, I'm not sure I would have ever gotten out of bed today and showered. I took her to Dr. McDonald's office and we saw the nurse practitioner who diagnosed her with a sinus infection as well.
I'm so ready for Spring weather. Dallas weather is totally bi-polar, I swear. It has many different personalities. Saturday it was totally gorgeous and since then it's been really cold and sometimes windy. Yuck! I could never live in the North....I'm just too wimpy!
I have a really interesting and intense project before me. I've been asked to submit some text for Katy Tartakoff's new project. I won't tell you name as it's most likely proprietary, but I need to identify and share my relationship about someone in my life that's unlike any other. I know my subject but must approach this very delicately. I'm writing about it only now in order to give myself a boost and convince myself to not be afraid and just go for it.
You know when we first established this website it was a venue for sharing my feelings about all that was happening in our lives. As Sam made it through treatment, transplant and ultimately recovery it's turned into more of an informational document regarding our family. Tonight, it feels really good to get back to that simple concept.....what's on my mind and in my heart. Even if it's completely irrelavent, these are my words.
How come when you eat Asparagus your pee stinks? That's what's on my mind????? How weird?
Okay, before I completely embarrass myself and the family, I'll end for now. Our life is so filled with love, laughter, wonder, appreciation, commitment, respect, gratitude and my list could go on and on.
I love nights like tonight where I can just talk. Thank you so much for listening. I have the most incredible support system.....from thousands of women I'll most likely never meet. Thank you for sharing my intimate feelings.
xxoo,
Dana
Sunday, March 13, 2005 8:55 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
Well.....we're back home safe and sound! At one point early on in the trip, I wasn't so sure we'd all make it back without a little blood shed.....that would be between Dennis & I!!!!! Ha!!!!!!
Okay, here goes......
I had a meeting Wednesday morning at 9am with the LLS and the CEO of Medical City Hospital. We asked them to be the Corporate Walk Sponsor of Light the Night this year. I stressed and stressed about this meeting into the wee hours of the morning only for the meeting to run long and my portion was basically "bumped!" Oh well!
In the meantime, Sam had a coughing attack on Tuesday night so I had Elvia take him to the doctor's for a chest x-ray. Once my meeting was over, I jumped in the car and raced over to the other building and met them. Elvia raced home to help get everyone finished with packing while Sam & I waited. Fortunately, Dr. Goldman didn't hear anything in his lungs and didn't think an xray was needed. Yippeeee...our trip was still on and we would still make our flight! Whew!
The flight to San Diego was uneventful and easy. The kids just loved being on a plane again. It's been a really long time since their last trip. Once we finally found our condo in Mission Bay, our expectations were a bit shattered. Basically....the place was a dump! I won't dwell on it, but needless to say, we only stayed that first night, then checked in to a great place in La Jolla; The La Jolla Tennis & Beach Club. We had a 3 bedroom/3 bath "suite", but really it was like a small apartment complete with kitchen and right on the ocean. Nothing luxurious but totally met our needs.
So on Thursday, we were off to Lego Land! Oh My God....what a great place! We entered the park and went immediately to a small rollercoaster. We "did" the whole park with lots of rides and checking out all the cool stuff. Definitely a "must do" if ever in the area. That night Dennis and I went to La Jolla Village (very similar to Highland Park Village for those readers who are local) and had an awesome meal. Just the two of us with great wine, food and atmosphere. Very fun!
On Friday, we just hung out a bit at the hotel and waited for Aunt Sue to arrive. After breakfast, I took to the pool. It was too cold for me, but not for Ethan. Sam tried it for a minute, decided his swim suit was too cold and stripped! Natually, "monkey see - monkey do" decided he would strip also! So here we are at a nice hotel in a public swimming pool and my two kids are butt naked. Once again.....oh well! Sam only lasted a minute then got out and I wrapped him up in lots of towels while Ethan played a bit longer. The temperature outside was really cold as well. When I unwrapped Sam, I noticed a dead bee fell from one of the towels...but not before it stung Sam on the ankle! Oh boy......are we having fun or what? Sam is hysterically screaming and crying while Cameron is trying to get Ethan dry. Dennis brought the car around as it was too cold to walk with wet kids and realized what had happened. He then also freaked out. Good Lord.....such drama!
We got Sam back to the room and saw that his ankle was already beginning to swell. Dr. Daddy got the tweezers and removed the stinger which was still in Sam's ankle. After all the screaming, crying and drama....Sam drifted off to sleep while being wrapped in my arms, Dennis took Ethan & Cameron into town. We all needed a little break at this point.
Sue arrived and we went back into town. We went to the Cove to see the seals. There were tons of them and you could get really close! Very neat for us all. Ethan climbed on top of a really huge grouping of rocks and announced for the world to hear, "I am Megaman....I control the universe!!!!!" The crowd around us cracked up.
That night Dennis & I went for a light dinner to the hotel restaurant. It's touted as being a 5 star restaurant. We shared some lobster bisque and each had a caesar salad and two drinks. Our bill was $100! Now that's 5 star pricing! It was beautiful though. The dining room is so close to the ocean that the waves splash against the wall of windows. The seagulls were everywhere! Hundreds of them scoping out the grunyuns. It was quite a scenic experience.
That brings me to Saturday. We all got up early and went to the Wild Animal Park (or something like that). It was spectacular!!!!!! We rode the train ride first. It lasted one hour and showed us 70 percent of the park. The kids loved it for about the first 40 minutes then wanted to get off. Well, let's see???? Should we hop off now, next to the rhinos or in a minute next to the tigers? We left after several hours and met Aunt Sue and one of her kids, Steven, in Del Mar. Steven had never met the kids and was so cute with them. The kids were a mess at the beginning as they were exhausted and hadn't had a nap, but eventually warmed up to him. Late in the afternoon, my good friend, Kathryn, and her beau, Chris, ventured to La Jolla from Long Beach. We went to a fabulous restaurant that Lauren Zlotky recommended then they stayed the night. It was such a blast seeing Kathryn and Chris...it had been a long time.
Our flight home was fine as well with only a few outbursts from Sam. I finally got him to sleep in my arms so he felt a little better when we landed. The most hysterical thing happened while we were waiting to be picked up. We're outside the terminal looking towards the street for the car when out of the corner of my eye I catch Ethan totally peeing on the sidewalk. And not just peeing, he's making a design with his urine by moving this way and that. I gasped then yelled for Dennis to, "LOOK!!!!" We almost collapsed in laughter along with several passersby. I just looked at Ethan, shrugged my shoulders and said, "Oh well!" It seems that was my mantra for the trip.
Dennis was a little disappointed this evening. He thought he would come home all rejuvenated and rested. Is the man on crack or what? What was he thinking? We were going to be spending 5 days with Sam & Ethan! Oh well!!!!!
That's the news......or as much as I can share at the moment! Just love keeping the energy going! hahahaha!
Love,
Dana & Family
Saturday, March 5, 2005 8:56 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
I'll start this post with a few updates.....
My dear friend Holly found out this week that her husband, Kenny, will need yet ANOTHER surgery of his brain. He was diagnosed 2 years ago with Glioblastoma (one of the deadliest forms of cancer and certainly the most of the brain cancers). He was given a 6-12 month prognosis at the time of diagnosis. He's clearly beaten all the odds. He was really healthy for the first 12 months. In the past 12 months, however, this will be his 4th surgery (I believe.) Holly is a wreck! We just had dinner with them last week. Kenny was doing great to the naked eye. To the MRI, he had some uptake! Holly has twin boys my kids' age. They'll fly (once again) to LA on Monday night for his upcoming surgery Tuesday. Keep them in your thoughts, I adore this family.
I ran into Lynn Newman at the mall yesterday. This, in itself, is a bit of an oxymoron as I steer clear of malls. Just not my cup of tea. Anyway, she looks fabulous as always and received the news we've all been hoping and praying for. Her Pet Scan last week appeared to be normal. She got the news on Monday and called to let me know. I can't tell you how ecstatic I am for her. Now that's some really good news!
My poor husband has been hit really hard this weekend as he's on call for his practice. On Friday, he saw 48 patients, delivered 2 babies and did one surgery. Last night he delivered one more baby and returned home at about 10pm. This morning he did a D&C and delivered 3 babies. Tonight, he's been called back to C-Section a set of 33 wk twins. One more 24 hour of call and then on Monday morning he's off for Camp Hooray! This is a camp sponsored by our temple, Temple Shalom. Each year they put this camp together for the underprivileged kids and is completely funded by donations. Dennis goes for a 24 hour time period to be the "camp doc"! He just loves it! The last time he did it, he must have called me every hour on the hour to tell me about the fun he was having. One time I remember distinctly that he was on his way to the tree swing with the kids.
We leave at noon on Wednesday for San Diego. Dennis is clearly the most excited. To me, it's still a huge undertaking; getting 5 people ready and packed! I'm so thrilled that my friend, Esther, has so graciously agreed to "house and pet sit." Jaffie is really excited about not going to the kennel too!
Monday and Tuesday are jammed packed; from morning until night. I'm glad I'm somewhat prepared for the trip, now I just have to pull it all together. This is my typical mode (anxiety!) but then the day comes and I'm so spent I could care less that we've only packed 2 pair of undies for the kids and one swim suit between them. Oh well, that's what Mastercard is for, right?
We're all really excited about seeing Aunt Sue while in California. She's already agreed to come visit at least 2 of the days we're there. I've bought discounted tickets to Lego Land so far. We're hoping to also explore Sea World, Animal Kingdom and/or the San Diego Zoo. Dennis says we're going to do it all! Yeah right honey, you're the one who will lolligag until noon, then complain at 3pm that it's time for your nap. I swear I live with 3 kids not 2. I'm sure you all fully understand what I'm saying.
The kids are doing just great! They both came down with a cold a couple of days ago, but miraculously they're fine now. That was a really short-lived virus, thank God! Sam had diarrhea twice today, but seems to be fine. Diarrhea is a sign of GVHD and we're acutely cautious with him. He's off all of his immuno-suppressants and appears to be tolerating it fine. We'll keep a close eye on him to ensure he doesn't develop anything suspicious. Dr. Weinthal has already given me the name of the "top guy" in San Diego in the event the need were to arise. I certainly don't expect it, but will keep his name/number close by. Remember, this is Sam's first trip in more than one year. First time on a plane in a really long time. Planes......full of non circulating germs. it's a risk, but it's one we're willing to take. Please pray for our families safety next week.
That's about all the news I'm "allowed" to share for the moment. Stay tuned!
All my love,
Dana & Family
Sunday, February 27, 2005 1:42 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
I'mmmmmmmm Backkkkk! So sorry for the long delay in updating Sam's site. Our home network has been on the blink for nearly 2 weeks. Very frustrating!
Everything is going so well. Sam is basically off of all meds with the exception of tiny bit of Magnesium and on Mondays and Tuesdays some Bactrim. He looks completely like his old self, don't you think?
Cameron is doing great as well. She's hanging out with some really cool girls and having lots of sleep overs, both at our house and theirs. She's taken up guitar and is doing pretty good, although she definitely needs to practice more.
Jaffie is behaving herself. Since her run in with neighbor a couple of weeks ago (resulting in the 3 stitches), the dog trainer has been spending a lot of time at the Eisenberg's. She's getting better obeying her commands and is slightly less hyper.
Dennis is great! He's just loving every minute (well, almost)of the time he spends with the kids. Each morning he joins the kids & I for some cuddle time. Some of the greatest conversations take place between Sam & Ethan early in the morning. For instance, the other morning out of the blue, Ethan said, "I shared my bone marrow with you and now you're all better!" while Sam responded with, "Yeah, and I shared my bone marrow with and now YOU'RE all better!" Okay, High Five. Oh my gosh, it was hilarious! Dennis wished we had gotten that on film. This morning Sam informed me that he had a breakfast meeting his Dad and brother. I asked what they would be discussing and he informed me they needed to talk about his Leukemia. Incredible!
We're all getting really psyched about our vacation to San Diego. Actually, I think is the most excited. My Aunt Sue will be hanging out with us a couple of days which we're all so thrilled about. She's promised the kids to play on the beach and make sand castles with them. I sure hope it stops raining there soon.
As for me, I couldn't be any more fulfilled with life and family than I am. Everyday is a really good day for me. So many exciting things are on the horizon for the LLS Light the Night walks and for Heroes for Children. We're having our first HFC event on Tuesday and are hoping to raise awareness of this incredibly worthwhile organization. I'm serious when I say, my life is full. I'm so lucky!
I guess that's the news for the moment. Sam has a clinic appt tomorrow and will have another blood test. We put Emla Creme on so he doesn't feel the stick. Thank g-d for Emla Creme.
I promise to be more diligent in keeping Sam's journal updating. This is his legacy, afterall.
All my love,
Dana & family
Thursday, February 17, 2005 9:26 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
It's been quite a weird week for the board members of Heroes for Children. We found out two stunning bits of news just today, on two people that mean a lot to all of us. One was just diagnosed with Hairy Cell Leukemia and the other experienced her 5th relapse with AML.
Jenny and I were talking tonight and we wondered what has happened to us? Have we become numb to cancer? When we heard of the scary outcomes these two people experienced.....we didn't gasp, we didn't scream, we didn't react much at all. We just went into action. Have our hearts hardened to cancer? Do we just now expect that everyone we know will at some point in time be diagnosed? Why is cancer on every corner of every street?
These are some strange times in which we live. Is it environmental? Probably. Too many cases for it not to be, in my opinion. It's in the food we eat, the air we breathe and the lifestyles in which we live.
How can we change this, you might ask. Well, today I received an incredible letter from a friend of mine at The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I'm going to "paste" it in at the end of my post. Please believe me when I say it's not to solicit funds from any of you (God knows, I've done enough of that lately), I just found it to be quite profound.
The premise is; Find a Cause. Find something that pulls at your heartstrings and make a difference. I'm amazed at how easy it is for just one person at a time to actually make that difference. I want to admit to all of you how complacent I was until Sam was diagnosed. I lead a very normal, "boring" lifestyle. I never really had a purpose. Sure I was a wife and a mom, but I had such potential that I never quite explored or exploited.
I want to tell you..... I am so incredibly grateful that Sam is alive. I am so incredibly grateful that this little child of mine has taught me a lifetime of lessons. I am so incredibly grateful that I have a purpose and a mission in my life, more than just being a wife and a mom. I am so fulfilled. I am so full of life and love.
Thank you (once again) for caring enough to read these posts and keep tabs on our family. It means the world to us.
Here is the email I received earlier today.....
xxoo,
Dana
Dear Friends,
Over the past two years, with your support and encouragement, I
completed
two marathons and two half marathons for the Leukemia and Lymphoma
Society.
At the time I initially signed up I did so with the goal of getting in
shape
and aiding a worthwhile organization in raising funds for research and
someday a cure.
I also signed up because my dad, Ali Bagheri, was diagnosed with Acute
Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). I was terrified and did not know just how
I
could help. Two months after his diagnosis I began to train for my
first
marathon on January 15, 2003. Each day I visited the hospital I shared
my
training success and on days when it was tough he encouraged me not to
give
up.
Most days it was difficult to look at his handsome smiling face and
reconcile the fact that there was a cancer coursing through his body. I
grew
up, just like any other daughter thinking my dad was tough and could
handle
just about anything. But as days in the hospital grew into weeks I
began to
see this thing called "cancer" get the best of him. He looked very
pale,
very tired, and I felt frightened and helpless as his body did battle
with a
demon that we could not get rid of. He suffered pains that I cannot
describe. The doctors told us the week of his diagnosis that my father
had
two weeks to six months to live! He had a rare from of ALL and that
plus his
age (only 58) put him in a "high risk category". Many of you have had
loved
ones afflicted with cancer. Some of you have fought cancer yourself.
You
know that when you or the person you love has cancer it is always "high
risk".
I am writing to you to urge you to choose a cause! Fight a fight! Let
us
stop remarking on how many people we know have this or that. When we
can
stop exchanging treatment possibilities like recipe cards then we truly
will
have won! If you walk or run for cancer, if you fundraise for diabetes,
or
stuff envelopes for heart disease, do not underestimate this - you are
already a hero. You may never know whose life you will be helping, in
fact I
pray you never do, but you are the ones who make a difference!
On June 17, 2005 I will once again be participating in a marathon
(Anchorage
Alaska) to benefit the Leukemia Society's search for a cure. I will
walk
every step for my dad, as it will be Fathers Day and what better way to
honor him than raise money for a cure. If you would like to join me and
the
many others who last year raised over $25 Million for Leukemia and
Lymphoma
research please donate on my website below. Your donation is greatly
appreciated.
Last but not least, I want to thank all of you who supported and
encouraged
me over the past two years. You were with me in spirit after my first
marathon when I went to my father's gravesite and placed my first
marathon
medal there just two weeks after his passing. He was honored to see me
train
during those months of his treatment and share my training stories and
I
know he was looking down on me when I crossed the finish line then and
every
time since.
God bless you and your loved ones.
Adine
214-732-8848
adinebagheri@hotmail.com
Friday, February 11, 2005 2:11 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
I know it's been a while since my last post. Sometimes, I just don't have much to talk about.....yeah right! Those who know me, know I always have SOMETHING to talk about....ok, I've been lazy I guess.
Cameron was out of school for 4 days last week with the flu and has had to go in early and stay late this week to get caught up. I'm proud of her as she's managed to get all of her work done. She's not the most studious person so this was quite an effort on her part. She's also taken up the guitar. She had her first private lesson with a cutie named Nick this week. He'll come to the house once per week and we hope she'll catch on. We're giving her lots of positive reinforcement and hope she'll develop some interests on her own. She's become pretty social most recently as well. She's hanging out with some neat girls (it appears) and is really enjoying her weekends.
I'm taking my sweetheart on a little rendevous tomorrow. This was supposed to happen the week of our anniversary and his birthday but had to be postponed as that was the week Sam was admitted to the hospital. We're going to piece meal the kids coverage as Elvia's son started vomitting at school this afternoon. She was naturally going to stay at the house with the kids. Do you get the feeling someone or something is trying to prevent Dennis and I from having some very much needed time together?
Yesterday was the LLS's big gala event. It's their annual Valentines Luncheon and Fashion Show. It was at the Hyatt downtown and the fashion show was put on by Stanley Korshak. Their were approximately 1200 people in attendance and it was a total blast! The funniest thing happened....the second model to walk the runway didn't realize it, but the tiny bit of material covering her left boob had slipped, leaving her boobie flopping with each step she took. All the way down the runway and all the way back. She never even realized it. The camera's were rolling and everyone just really felt sorry for her, I think. Oh well, it's just a boob, right!
Sam is doing just great! On Monday will be his first appointment where he has to have labs drawn. We'll put Emla cream on both arms and keep our fingers crossed that he does fine. He'll be really scared but after a few of these visits he'll get used to the idea. I think he'll probably still have one more IVIG before all is said and done.
We're planning out our travels for the remainder of the year. San Diego with the kids in March, Miami (not sure about the kids) in April to celebrate Karla's 40th, then Hawaii in the fall. One trip to someplace exotice for just mom and dad as well. I tore out an article from the AA magazine a few months ago that promotes a secluded island that sounds pretty interesting. Dennis is dying to do an African safari, but I think we'll have to wait on that one until Sam is say.......40!
Ethan is my concern du jour. It seems like it was just last week that we detected he had some Sensory Integration issues. He's been doing therapy twice a week since and today it appeared he was really struggling with school. It was his classes turn to lead the Shabbat service. Before the room filled, it was just his class and the parents taking pictures. He did fine through this. Then the room filled and it was really noisy. The music started and he was right next to the guitarist. It was loud, no question. He's been doing Shabbat services at school for 3 years and had never reacted the way he did today. As the service progressed, he seemed to zone and just shut down. At one point, he looked like he might lose it. I went and sat down at the foot of the stage on the floor. He immediately came and sat down next to me. He wouldn't participate with his class when it came time for them to sing their song. As a matter of fact, when I asked Ethan yesterday what song they'd be singing today he had no idea. That's so weird because the last time his class was up (November or December), Ethan came home everyday and practiced the song. I'm really worried about him. I also think he might be coming down with a cold which could amount to a lot of it today. Nonetheless, I'm concerned. I spoke with his teacher who's very familiar with SI issues and then called his therapist. She said it's not uncommon for children, once they've begun therapy, to have this reaction to a lot of stimulation. It should level out at some point and he'll be able to stay engaged in this type of situation in the future. Okay, but wasn't it just like yesterday that we even gave his behavior a name? Now, he can't even function during an activity that just a couple of months ago he thoroughly enjoyed? So basically he's getting worse, I guess, before he can get better. She likened it to cleaning out the closet. I can't exactly remember the metaphor now, but it made sense at the time.
If I had one wish....it would be that everyone in my family was completely perfect for just one month. That would be my wish. No problems of any kind for 30 days. Please don't get me wrong, compared to what other families are going through, our daily struggles pale in comparison. It was just a thought.
Leon Finkelstein (photographer extraordinaire) at Plano's Moto Photo took the kids pics on Tuesday. It was to be a Valentine's surprise for Dennis. I couldn't keep it a secret once I saw the proofs and showed Dennis yesterday morning. He just flipped! There are too many good ones to choose. He had Ethan in hysterics to a point I was sure he was going to pee on himself. I can't wait to place the order and I will also ask his permission to post one.
I know I'm so behind in showing pics from the cocktail party, but Jenny did post a few cute ones so check them out.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend and especially a lovely Valentine's with your sweethearts!
xxoo,
Dana and Family
Wednesday, February 2, 2005 9:27 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
IT'S SOOOOO COLD IN DALLAS! Yuck! A few days ago, it was in the low 70's, now it's hovering in the 40's and raining off and on. Not my favorite weather by any stretch.
This week has been a good one so far with the exception of my little sister, Cameron, having the flu. She has literally not left her room since Monday when I took her to the doctor. She has been quarantined (sp?) to her room in an effort not to spread her germs. She's taking Tamaflu, Robitussin Cold & Flu, rubbing Vicks Vapor Rub on her feet (ancient chinese secret, aka: Andrea Katz's recipe for a cure) along with anything and everything I can think of. She's really weak and has missed 3 days of school so far.
I went to the Society this morning armed with loads of thank you notes. I recruited Jenny, Joni and Leah to assist as there were a whole lot! So many generous people came to the fundraising cocktail party and were so giving. If you were one of those amazing people and receive a thank you note with writing that doesn't resemble mine.....just know the girls used my words from my heart. We're over $26,000 now. An incredible early start to our 12 South team goal of $225,000.
We will have a 12 South Angels website soon. We'll be able to post upcoming events such as fundraising activities and appreciation parties. It's a work in progress so stay tuned.
Don't have much to report tonight. The kids are great. Sam is so ready to return to school. Now that his lines are out he thinks it's time. I hoping he'll be able to return in April but we'll see. The flu is running rampant so it won't be anytime soon.
We've rented a place in San Diego for Cameron's springbreak in March and are really looking forward to that. I guess I should focus a little more on my ever-increasing waist line and stop procrastinating. Too tired to worry about it tonight, though.
Sleep well!
Love,
Dana & Family
Sunday, January 30, 2005 12:35 AM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
WE'RE HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sam was a champion yesterday. He was only able to consume clear liquids until 1pm then nothing until after the surgery. He was really hungry but remained pretty darn patient. He was in the middle of a power nap, when they came for him which didn't make him too happy. Regardless, he was incredibly brave even in the midst of being really afraid. The surgery took a whole 18 minutes from the time they took him back to the OR until the time they closed him. He remained in post-op for about 45 minutes then returned to his room where he immediately ate a delicious cookie made with loving tender care by Emma Day and Annie earlier in the day. Then the smorgasbord began. He had a big bowl of his favority soup, some pretzels followed by some ice cream.
He wasn't too happy about having an IV in his hand but handled it fairly well. Sam had a good night last night and first thing this morning Dr. Lenarsky came in and discharged us. Oh My Gosh....Sam was soooo excited about going home! He gave all the nurses a big hug and said on his way, "I hope I never have to go back there!" My sentiments exactly, my love.
I received an incredibly special email today and wanted to share it with you, not because it sings my praises but because it was clearly written from the heart by someone I've never even met. It meant a lot to me and hopefully you'll find it as special as I have.
Have a wonderful Sunday!
Love,
Dana & Family
Dear Dana,
You do not know me, my name is Mindi and I am a pediatric stem cell transplant nurse & educator at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle. I have spent the last 2 hours getting to know your Sam, Ethan, and the Eisenberg clan. What joy filled my heart as I read of this amazing boy, his equally fabulous brother, and brilliant parents. I sincerely hope you do not mind my popping in this way. I fear it is an intrusion and families dealing with cancer do not need that. I really just felt so compelled to say hello. I have followed precious Allie's stroy and am always so amazed when parents turn heartache into something positive. Since Jennie is always talking about her handsone boyfriend, I decided it was time to take a peak. Both of your boys are so beautiful. Those who would see your Sam, knowing nothing of his amazing journey would never know he had been sick. His eyes have the spirit and clarity of life and health!!
As I read through the journal entries starting way back when, I was most moved by your beautiful letter to your men. Dana you are something else. To have survived, thrived through your own battle with cancer and then turn around and suffer through your son's equally agressive battle is nothing short of miraculous. Your words were beautiful, life affirming, inspiring. I have always felt that God makes a special choice in who should parent His children. In you and your husband he has made an outsanding choice. For your part, it is a brave choice to share such an itimate journey with complete strangers, To have read that anyone would post ugly words in your boys guestbook sickens me. I hope this will always be a venue for love and life affriming energy.
Your Sam has endured so much. He has battled though a most aggressive and ugly disease. To have fought through so much chemo, TBI, transplant is a testament to the love and courage his mommy and daddy provide. Sam will continue to win his battle and grow to be a loving and giving man. Ethan too will succeed in ways most parents can only dream. While their ages prevent them from being able to share entirely how this journey has effected them, these boys will be a cut above their peers. They have learned a lifetime of courage, respect, compassion, & love in a very short time. Their parents have led by example, and your efforts to continue to fight the monster that is leukemia will not be lost on them. Their lives will be amazing. Enjoy every minute of it. You, kind woman, have earned it.
May God bless your beautiful family with continued health and a lifetime of love and laughter.
In peace, Mindi
Saturday, January 29, 2005 10:32 AM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
Well, not great news on this end. My cousin Jill died late Thursday night. The funeral is tomorrow in Miami and my cousin Gary will be in attendance. Unfortunately, I won't be able to go as we're still in the hospital. Sue still is unaware as she's in route from India to California. I believe it's a 30 hour journey. So sad to lose someone as wonderful as Jill. She was an incredibly compassionate woman. She flew into Dallas a few months ago when Sam was still in the hospital recuperating from his transplant. She will be sorely missed by all.
We got a little bit of good news yesterday morning just for it to turn "sour" this morning. His blood culture from the 27th was negative yesterday morning, however, the lab continues to check each sample for a period of five days. Unfortunately, late last night Dr. Lenarsky received a call alerting him that the culture did grow bacteria. The bacteria was identified as Staph Epi. This happens to be a slow growing bacteria and one that typically responds favorably to Vencamiacin. This morning the decision was made to remove Sam's lines. The bacteria is still in his lines and each time he receives a flush, the bacteria is being pushed into his blood stream. Sam will go to the OR around 4pm today for a very minor procedure to remove the lines. With teenagers, they actually remove the lines in the room.
I'm naturally a little nervous. I've explained to Sam that he's getting his lines removed. He immediately burst into tears as he knows once they're gone, he gets "sticks". I haven't told him that he'll be put to sleep and wake up with an IV in his hand yet. I'm dispersing the news slowly. He is excited with the concept of going back to school. We've told him for months that once the lines are out, he gets to go back. I know it won't be for a couple of more months but at least it gives him something to look forward to along with taking a real bath for the first time since last April.
Ethan spent a few hours last night with the Zlotky's while Cameron stayed with Sam so Dennis & I could have a little adult time. We went to our favorite, The Mercury. We have become "frequent flyers" there since Sam was first admitted. It's really close to the hospital and the food is always consistently good.
A special thanks to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society along with the Heroes for Children Board for providing food for us for the past several days. Hopefully, if all goes well, we'll be home tomorrow. Sam will be given IVIG today prior to surgery, then 2 more doses of IV antibiotics prior to discharge. I hope by removing his lines we'll wipe out this staph infection.
Jenny is on her way to a girls retreat at Horseshoe Bay. I'm jealous knowing what a fun time they're going to have. Have a drink or two for me!
Jaffie finally comes today after being sent to military school....I mean the trainer. She's been gone for nearly two weeks and we've all missed her so much. Ethan is her best friend and vice versa, especially while Sam's in the hospital.
I guess that's the news for the day. It's 10:51am and I'm still in my pj's. Not Sam...he's been dressed for an hour. He's actually stressing because I haven't showered yet. He's the most anal kid I've ever known.
Thank you as always for caring enough to follow Sam's story and sign his guestbook with your well wishes. We're not viewing this as a setback, just a hiccup in the road.
Lots of love,
Dana & Family
Thursday, January 27, 2005 2:42 PM CST
Hi Everyone!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DARLING HUSBAND!
Well, the news just keeps getting better and better. I actually can’t remember what I typed yesterday, so please forgive me if I speak of things you already know.
With Sam having Rotovirus, he is officially in isolation. That means while in the hospital, he stays in his room. No roaming privileges. If I want to go to the kitchen, I have to glown and glove. The Rotovirus is contracted through contact. So basically, we’ve been bugging the nurses for every little thing. Oh well! There is also another baby on the unit with the virus as well.
Last night I was on my way home to do Cameron’s hair. I haven’t mentioned my siblings lately but Cameron is still living with us. She wanted to finish out the remainder of the school year in Plano. Anyway after she showers, I have to blow dry her hair and flat iron it. She refuses to learn how to do it herself, so I promised her I’d come home last night and do it. On my way, I called Dennis to check on Sam and he said he had just received a call from Dr. Weinthal. Sam had two consecutive positive cultures for infection in both lines. Most likely it’s staph but we’ll know the exact origin this afternoon. We’ll continue alternating lines with Venkamiacin in an effort to kill the bacteria. If, three days from now, the infection persists then we’ll look at removing his lines. Why not remove them today you might ask? We’d rather not be “forced” into the OR at this juncture. Yes, his lines were scheduled to be removed in a few weeks anyway, but taking Sam to the OR with an active staph infection is not ideal. The bacteria could have colonized in his lines weeks ago and we wouldn’t have known since blood cultures are not done routinely, but most likely it’s as a result of the Rotovirus; working it’s way from the inside of his body to the out through his lines. Dr. Lenarsky was very clear in making me feel at ease that it was nothing I could have done. Even in the most sterile environments while wearing “space suits”, patients get line infections. I guess we’re lucky it hadn’t happened earlier. By the way...Jenny & Andrew promptly arrived at my house, ate a quick bite with me and watched American Idol. Jenny was sweet enough to do Cameron’s hair while Andrew wrapped Dennis’ birthday presents in Toy Story and Blues Clues wrap allowing me to return to the hospital. Are they the best or what?
Sam actually feels alot better today. He hasn’t had the cramping associated with his diarrhea since yesterday and his color is much better. We’ll still be in the hospital until next Tuesday or so and that’s if all goes well. Seven days on IV Venkamiacin is the standard. I asked if it would be possible to send him home with oral antibiotics but it doesn’t absorb as well. So that’s the story.
I had Elvia (my Godsend of a Nanny) to come up to the hospital today so I could make a run to Toys R Us for Sam and get him stocked up. Well, she showed up with a plastic box full of Sam’s favorite stuff eliminating the need for that errand. I love that woman!
I’m sure there’s more but I can’t think of anything else right now. Cousin Jill has been moved to a room, but doesn’t sound like she’s too coherent. Her family is with her and we’re just so relieved she’s not experiencing anymore pain.
I’ll keep you posted on all fronts!
Love to you all.....
Dana & Family
Wednesday, January 26, 2005 4:49 PM CST
Hi Everyone!
Well coming off of an incredibly fantastic weekend to such a crummy beginning of the week has certainly taken the wind out of my sails.
Sam woke up on Monday morning vomitting. He didn't keep anything down the entire day and night. Talked to the doc on Monday and made him aware of Sam's situation. Tuesday morning at our normal clinic appointment, Sam was given IV fluids as expected. What was not expected is that he would spike a temp of 101 at 1pm. At 1:30 it was down to 100.8 then back up to 102.4 at 2pm. That bought us a lottery ticket to 12 South.
Jenny and Angie (from the LLS) met me at the clinic just a few minutes before we were admitted yesterday. They took that lovely walk with us. Sam was completely out of it yesterday. He was lethargic and slept the entire day. He was given 2 bags of fluids and 1 bag of antibiotics. Once we checked into room #1204 (our transplant room) he continued to sleep for an hour or so. He finally perked up and ate 2 boxes of cereal....cheerios and rice krispies. He even kept it down which looked like a great sign.
We had a relatively uneventful evening. He did wake up early on and was very disoriented and confused. He was trying to crawl out of the bed not realizing he was hooked up to the IV pole. It took several minutes to calm him down....he was very afraid. Then at 5am when routine labs were drawn he awoke. He stayed awake for about an hour with severe abdominal cramps. Finally, at 6am I had him unhooked and took him to the bathroom and he exploded!!!! We're talking serious CODE BROWN! I swear he filled the entire "bucket" thing. My poor baby. How on earth could he produce such an immense volume of diarrhea?
He's had it now 5x today. I left to pick up Ethan at school, take him for lunch and then therapy. Upon arriving back at the hospital, I learned that Sam tested positive for Rotovirus. Oh goody.....that just bought us another night here. Oh well, you know what? Life happens to be so easy up here. No stress, no responsibilities, no meetings, etc. I'm glad I got to spend some time with my little Ethan. I dropped him off at school yesterday morning and didn't see him again until I picked him up today. You should have seen his face when I arrived at Schechter. He came running with the biggest grin on his face yelling, "Mommy!!!!!!!" G-d is that kid delicious! Another weird thing is that the nurse just came in to redo blood cultures that were done yesterday. I asked why we're doing them again and she said it appears there was a contamination because one of the labs came back positive and the doc said if he's positive for "that", he'd be a lot sicker. I have no idea what "that" is though and am going to try and find out.
More crappy news to report.....my cousin Jill had a massive stroke yesterday morning. As many of you know, she was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer at the end of August. A DNR has been issued and no heroic measures will be taken. She's comfortable and resting peacefully and that's all anyone can hope for now. My Aunt Sue is in India and the family won't inform her until she returns to California on Sunday. There's nothing she can do and the kids don't want to spoil her last few days. I'm 99 percent sure she won't be reading my journal entry so I felt it was okay to write about this.
That's it for today. Since I'm logging in from the hospital, everything is slow. I opened my inbox and found 51 messages from yesterday. Heroes for Children is booming! Lots of wonderful things are coming soon.
Lots of love and thanks again for your continued interest and support!
Love,
Dana
PS (Happy Anniversary honey *yesterday* and Happy Birthday tomorrow. Soon we'll celebrate properly! I love you so much!)
Monday, January 24, 2005 7:19 PM CST
Hi Everyone!
Please forgive the delay in updating Sam's site regarding the fabulous event on Saturday night. Yesterday was pretty much spent in "fog" mode as we attempted every known way possible to eliminate our hangovers! Does that give you an idea of how well it went?
Can you say........Twenty five thousand dollars? That's right we came in just under $25,000. I think by the end of this week we will probably make that mark. Just today, I received an additional $1325.00. UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night when Dennis was attempting to install Adobe in order to publish some new pics, something happened and he managed to delete my entire desktop! Andrew......where are you????? Pictures will be coming soon.
I think we had about 75 people that showed. The crowd was perfect. Not too many where you couldn't walk and not too few to where the house looked empty. Everyone seemed to have such a great time. Isn't that amazing as they were all here with the sole purpose of donating money. The guitarist was great, the speaker from the home office was great, the mission video was moving and the food perfect as always.
A huge thanks to Wendy Krispin for donating the food, Harris Polakoff (Pogo's) for donating the wine and beer and to Jamie Gerard (The Write Invite) for donating the beautiful invitations. I received so many compliments on those invitations.
Sam & Ethan went to Mi Cocina for dinner that night with our nanny, Elvia, then over to a neighbors house to play. They returned at 9:30 so everyone could get a glimpse of Sam and boy did he bring make a lot of people smile. Unfortunately, he woke up this morning with a stomach virus and has been vomitting all day. This is the first time he's been sick since diagnosis last April. I spoke with Dr. Lenarsky and he said to just watch him for dehydration and bring him in tomorrow for his normal appointment. I imagine he'll get some fluids tomorrow. It's nice that he still has his central lines for this type of reason.
That's the news for the day. Tomorrow is my 8 year anniversary (15 years total together) then Dennis' birthday is on Thursday. We have a lot to be thankful for and celebrate.
Have a great evening!
Love,
Dana
Thursday, January 20, 2005 3:57 PM CST
Hi All!
I really don't have anything specific to talk about so I guess I'll just ramble a bit.
Thank you to all that wrote in Sam's guestbook regarding how wonderful he looks. G-d, he really does. Two really really precious little boys.
The photo shoot the other day went GREAT! I'd say Sam cooperated about 70 percent of the time. I thought that was pretty good for a 4 year old. Jed, who was originally slated to be Sam's counterpart was hospitalized right before the shoot and no one knew how long he'd be in. The Society had to go with another person as the photographer was working pro bono and the marketing pieces were under a deadline. We were all really disappointed about Jed missing out, but know there are other opportunities locally that he can participate in. In Jed's place was an "honored hero" named Bill. He is a lymphoma survivor and an incredibly neat guy. I can't wait to see the proofs. There were a few that were simply beautiful.
One funny thing that happened was when the stylist tried to put some makeup on Sam. Oh My G-d.....did he freak out! "Makeup is for girls....I don't want any makeup!!!" Guess what....Sam didn't wear any makeup. That just means that his freckles will show up in the pictures. I love his freckles. We also brought 2 pair of khaki's and 4 shirts. We weren't sure what Bill would be wearing so we would have choices. Sam wore an old pair of jeans that were basically "flood waters" to the shoot in an attempt not to wrinkle the good clothes. Well, Bill wore khakis and the photographer didn't want them to look too "twinsy" so Sam wore his "flooders." He wore a new short sleeved polo that was a bit too big and the sleeves didn't land on his arms the way others do, his short jeans and his suede brown lace up kind of dressy shoes. I know you are all scrunching up your nose right about now. I did too, but quickly got over it and just enjoyed the message the picture will present. Cancer comes in all sizes.
Bill had just finished a half marathon for Team in Training the day before and had returned from Bermuda just the night before. He was a real trooper and he's actually coming to the cocktail party on Saturday night.
The boys are running around the house right now with shirts and underpants but no real pants on. I can hear them pretending to be dogs. One is woofing while the other appears to be the "master." Speaking of dogs....my angel or is it my monster, Jaffie, is at the trainers. We've replaced the carpet in the family room, power sprayed the back of the house and deck and installed an invisible fence. That dog is costing me a freakin' fortune. She has one more chance at being civilized before she goes on Ebay.
Okay, nothing much else to talk about. It's such a gorgeous day in Dallas today. Hope you're having a great day!
Love,
Dana
Monday, January 17, 2005 3:25 PM CST
Hi Everyone!
I'm officially getting really excited about the party!!! Why, you might ask? Because if all else fails, at least I have the cutest outfit to wear. Priorities....Priorities! That always seems to be my biggest stress factor, the outfit. If I were my normal size, I would have half a dozen things to choose from my closet. Ahhhh, but as we all know, that would not be the case.
I've had a few cyber friends ask how they can make a donation to the LLS while honoring Sam. If you're interested, send me an email to: danaeisenberg@yahoo.com and I'll give you the details.
We had a really fun weekend. The Heroes retreat was incredibly beneficial. Jenny & Larissa hired a consulting firm on a six month contract to assist us in getting the organization up and running. They happen to be 2 of the most impressive women I've met in a very long time. One worked for the Susan G. Komen foundation for 4 years and the other started a Philanthropic magazine locally then took it national. Brilliant women who know the non-profit business like the back of their hands. The day flew by which was such a nice surprise. Sunday was just a "honey do" kind of day. Dennis made his typical 2-3 trips to Loews & Central Market...his 2 favorite stores in Dallas. He would take one of the kids on this errand and the other on that errand. I'm pretty sure they both made it to both of his favorites.
Tomorrow is a really big day for us....Sam's photo shoot at 9:30am downtown. This is for the Light the Night marketing material and should last about 2 hours. Then off to lunch with the LLS folks. At 2pm, Jenny & I have a conference call with all LTN team captains that couldn't make the one last week. And lastly, Jenny & I will speak to the Board of the LLS at 4pm. Whew!
Can I just tell you how excited I am about all that is going on? Life is certainly not dull around here.
Hope you're making a difference in your endeavors!
Love,
Dana
Friday, January 14, 2005 3:55 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
We've been very very busy in preparation of next week's cocktail party benefitting the LLS. No complaints as it has given me the opportunity of refreshing the house without too many road blocks aka: Dennis.
Kristin, thanks so much for getting Sam's pic on the website. Did you happen to notice what time I emailed you this morning...1:30am.
I've been having trouble sleeping. I can fall asleep pretty easy but then wake up for an hour or so and get on the computer. This is pretty typical of my M.O. prior to an event at my house. It's actually kind of funny if I take a step back and look at the effort I'm putting into my house that virtually no one will even notice. I've had contractors in or outside the house everyday this week and I think next week looks like the same. Oh well, I'm not a big shopper, so this is my hobby, I guess.
Okay, how cute is my Sammy anyway? I took that picture the other day when Emmaday was over. I have a bunch more with Sam & Ethan as well as the three of them. Maybe tonight Dennis will get the photo page updated. You think it's time.....one of the pictures is Ethan from Halloween for goodness sake! Sam looks 100 percent like Sam with the exception of his hair color. It came back in much darker than before. He's lost all the puff from steroids and will be off of Cyclosporine very very soon. Then the hair that he has grown in some very random and unmentionable places will go away. Thank G-d!
Tomorrow is an ALL DAY retreat for Heroes to establish by-laws, infastructure, committee chairs, etc. It will be exhausting but some incredible stuff will be shared with the group. I'm really excited about where this organization is going and how many people we'll be able to help in 2005 and beyond.
Not much else to report so have a fabulous weekend!
Love,
Dana & Family
Tuesday, January 11, 2005 9:29 PM CST
Dear Jenny,
I've been thinking alot about you the past few days and wanted to have a "forum" to share my feelings. Don't you just love this blog?
Our relationship is so incredibly unique. We met under the worst circumstances known to mankind, yet forged a bond beyond belief.
Do you have any idea how proud of you I am? I think about you every single day and typically several times throughout the day. This morning I woke up sad. Sad for your loss. Sad knowing how distraught you were yesterday. Sad that my dear friend is hurting.
Sometimes, I think the universe forgets what it is exactly that and your family has been through. I speak with you or see you each and everyday and 9 times out of 10, you're upbeat and positive. On those rare occasions that you mention you broke down in your car, or in Allie's room on the floor, it brings it back to the forefront of my mind exactly the travisty that you all have endured.
I look at Sam several times a day and ponder the idea of living my life without him. Sometimes, tears swell in my eyes with the very thought. You've lived that thought and beyond and are now on the other side.
You've picked yourself up, dusted yourself off and are well on the road to recovery. I truly believe that road include the LLS as well as Heroes for Children. You have undoubtedly taken a tragic situation and turned it into something pure and beautiful.
I believe so many people gain strength from you daily as a result of your resolve.
Thank you my dear friend for enabling me to continue on this next journey in your life. I adore you and thank G-d we were brought together.
************************************************************************
On the Eisenberg front, I feel as though I'm working full time. Between the LLS, HFC, my kids, and Dennis I'm a busy girl. I promise you if you could hear my voice right now, you'd realize I'm in no way whatsoever, complaining. Life is so good right now. I'm so grateful for all that we have. I'm so blessed that we're together and operating so well as a team and a family. I adore my life, my kids and my husband. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky. I bet a lot of you feel the same way.
Being a woman is such a special thing. We have so many innate qualities that our counterparts don't. I love being a woman. I love my motherly instinct for my children. I love knowing I take good care of my husband and support him even with his sketchy ideas. I love knowing that I am making a difference on this planet.
Before Sam was diagnosed, I was pretty complacent. The world gave so much to me yet I gave nothing in return. Knowing I now have a purpose without having a full time, paying job, is really fulfilling. I know that when it is my turn to leave this earth, I will have made a difference. It is our obligation to make a difference.
Please make a conscience effort to discover what difference you can make. Cliche I know, but life is so short. Don't put it off another day, as that may be your last.
Life is such a joy! Life is spendid!
Thank you caring enough to read this journal entry.
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Thursday, January 6, 2005 2:35 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
Oh....My.....God....., I have so much to talk about!
First and foremost, Heroesforchildren.org is officially up and running. I cannot express how thrilled I am with this website. Jenny & Larissa (as well as the webmaster) spent hours upon hours creating it and making it look and sound just right. Girls, you've blown me away! Congratulations!!!!!!
Next, Jenny & Larissa were interviewed by Janet St.James of Channel 8 today. I believe the focus was basically on how they've taken a tragic situation and turned into such a positive outcome...through the creation of Heroes for Children. It should air tonight at 10 so be sure and TIVO it if you're going to sleep early. It should also air tomorrow and possibly a couple of times this weekend. This is great publicity for the Organzation and hopefully will spur interest in the way of donations, corporate sponsorship or volunteerism. Can you tell I'm excited yet? Wait, there's more!
Just got off the phone with Marianne from LLS Corporate and they've scheduled the photo shoot for Sam & Jed (www.caringbridge.org/tx/jed). Several months ago, we posted a picture of the two of them with the caption, "Cancer comes in all sizes." They loved the concept so much, that they're honoring our children by making them the "poster kids" for the Light the Night campaign nationwide. Whew! Their picture will be on all marketing collateral 11x17 posters, brochures, etc. I'm soooo excited!
Esther from Schechter called today and is finalizing the school yearbook and wanted to make sure she included Sam. I was so touched and would never have even thought about it myself. That's how wonderful the people are at their school. They don't forget anything. I'm so excited that Sam will be included. He should be, I know, but I'm still happy.
My January schedule is out of control. I am so busy between the kids various schedules, LLS and Heroes. It's a good thing I don't work outside the house, it would certainly get in the way of all the fun stuff I'm doing. Speaking of fun stuff.....Dennis & I are hosting a cocktail party on the 22nd, honoring Sam and benefitting the LLS. The invitations (after many snafu's) finally went out today. We're inviting more than 150 people in hopes that 100 will show. Keep you fingers and toes crossed for me as I'm hoping to raise a significant amount of money for the Society while getting a jump start for our 12 South Team.
For an extra special treat today, I was finally able to connect with Lynn (www.caringbridge.org/tx/lynnnewman) and Holly for Sushi. We had the best time and got all caught up. You know what's really funny about our relationship? We've only known each other for a few short months and have only seen each other 3x, including today. There are just some women you encounter in your life that you instantly click with and these are 2 of them. Great time girls....can't wait until dinner and the famous plank salmon! YUM!
So much more news but I should close in order to get other stuff done. Hope your year has started out as great as ours.
Love,
Dana & Family
Saturday, January 1, 2005 10:36 PM CST
Dear Dennis, Sam & Ethan,
Today is the first day of 2005 so I decided to write my favorite men a letter from my heart.
Where to start? So much to say. My love for each of you has grown exponentially in the last 12 months. I didn't know I could adore you anymore than I already did.
We've been through so much as a family in the course of your short little lives, Sam & Ethan. I wish we hadn't but I know it's made us all so much stronger and we're each able to value life in a more meaningful way.
Sam, when I think about what you've had to endure I immediately begin to cry (as I'm doing right now.) I remember the words Daddy said to me on that fateful day, "Honey, Sam is very sick. They think he has Leukemia. Go straight home, I'll meet you there. Pack a bag we have an appointment with a group Oncologists at Medical City." And lastly, "Get your support system in place." I wish I could have taken the Leukemia for you. I swear I would have. We weren't sure you would live through the treatment, but thankfully you have. You are the most inspiring little boy I've ever met. I'm so sorry you got sick. I'm just so sorry, baby. Thank you for being so brave this last year. You have taught us all so much without ever realizing it. I will love you forever and beyond, sweetheart.
Ethan, how can a Mommy be any more proud of her son than I am of you. You were our secret ingredient to the recipe of AML. Your glorious, beautifully red bone marrow was the perfect match for Sam. You are truly our hero. You were so brave when you had to have your blood drawn, you didn't even cry. And when Daddy brought you to the hospital for your surgery to harvest the marrow, you were simply perfect. You barely even cried. Ethan, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I wish I had been a perfect match for Sam so you didn't have to endure the pain. Thank you my precious for being so giving at such an early age.
Dennis, where to begin? So much in just the last two years. First, my diagnosis of breast cancer in 2002. You had to live with the thought that you might lose your wife. You went through both surgeries with me and provided me such a sense of calm. You never missed any of my chemo treatments. We made it through 30-some odd radiation treatments and now we're on the "other side." Then you've had to deal with the very real idea of losing one of your children. You have remained the "constant" in this family. The "rock." If you ever for an instance doubt the enormity of my love for you, read back through this posting. This month we will celebrate 8 years of marriage together and 13 years of being a couple. My most heartfelt prayer would be that we will live long enough to celebrate 50 years of marriage together. You are my very best friend in the whole world. I'm so sorry you've had to go through so much in the past 2 years. I'm so proud of the man you are and the father you've become. I love you my darling.
To my incredible friends and family; Judy, Karla, Kristin, Lauren, Andrea, Jenny, Annie, Sue, Greg, Gary, Priscilla, Melissa H, Melissa E, Jamie E, Tracy L, Sheryl and the countless others (please forgive me for not mentining every last one of you but I'm running low on the laptop battery), you have brought me through 2 of the worst situations of my life. I am eternally grateful to each of you and promise you, I could not have made it without your support, love and encouragement. Thank you, thank you, thank you my friends.
I bid farewell to 2004 with mixed emotions. I certainly would not want to do it again if I had the chance, but many positive things came as a result. My bond with my family is stronger than ever. I don't take a day for granted, I don't sweat the small stuff anymore and I've found another purpose for my life. I'm very motivated to raise awareness and money on behalf of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I'm very excited to be a part of Heroes for Children and all the beauty that this organization represents.
I'm so grateful, as we move into this new year, that my family is still together more than anything else.
Thank you for following our family on this journey through Sam's webiste. Your words of encouragement have made all the difference in the world. The love you've expressed has filled our hearts.
All my love to Sam, Ethan and especially Dennis. Thank you for giving me the privilege of being in your lives.
xxoo,
Dana
Thursday, December 30, 2004 4:32 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
Can you think of anything better on a cloudy day than having one of your precious little "snuggle bugs" (that's Sharon's terminology), 5 inches away from you peacefully napping? Nope! Me either. Sam could do a mascara commercial. His eyelashes are long, black and lush. I'm jealous!
We have been having such a fun week with the kids being out of school. Sam has gotten somewhat reacclimated with his friends and everyday asks who HE gets to play with today. Ethan is simply just dream come true. He's soooooooo easy! Ethan is especially happy when he's around his friends. I think Sam & Ethan must get tired of only playing with each other sometimes. But, I'm sure grateful they have each other.
Yesterday, I took Ethan on a train ride with Lauren and the boys. We stopped at Mockingbird Station and had lunch. We were one stop short of going through a really long tunnel so on the way out, we hopped on a train heading South. Went through the tunnel, hopped off and caught the next one heading back North. The kids had an absolute blast.
Today, I had a few friends over with their kids. I basically broke the "one healthy kid at a time in the house" rule. I've never been much for rules, but don't tell Dr. Lenarsky. The kids played outside while the mom's enjoyed brunch and mimosas. See why it was so much fun?
I remember reading an article in the NY Times (I believe) when Sam was going through treatment about fitting in after your kid has been out of the loop due to illness. I really believed a lot of what I was reading would happen to us. When you've been removed from your friends for an extended period of time with a sick kid, how do you fit back in. Their lives have continued while yours was on hold. Your kid can't do the normal things the other kids can, so you can't interact as much as you did before. It's really an interesting dilema. I wondered how I would be received back in the circle. I'm so grateful that my friends have opened their arms and welcomed me back with ease. I felt this as I chatted with my girl friends today. We just picked right up where we left off. I often say how lucky I am and I truly believe that.
Today, Jenny received a very honorable award given by Community Credit Union in conjunction with KSCS radio station. They began this program six months ago to Salute a Local Hero. A woman in Wylie, whom Jenny has never met, nominated her (unbeknownst to her) and she won. She received a trophy and $250 that will naturally go right back to Heroes for Children. Three camera crews were on hand and it should air tonight. Check WFAA, Fox 4 and/or WB. I'm really proud of Jenny as you all know. She's taken a horrific tragedy and turned it into something positive (as Kristin and I were discussing today.) I wasn't there to witness the event, but Jenny said when she received her award she said, "Allie was the true hero." Of course, she was and we all know that. Can you even believe the story about the woman in Canada being a bone marrow match for a baby in England named Sophie? That just floors me.
That's what this is all about. It's about one person making a difference. I gave Kristin a challenge today and I hope she runs with it. If you're passionate about something......GO FOR IT! Every concept on the face of the earth began with one person being insightful. I spoke with my friend Andrea Katz today who told me about someone who raised 2 million dollars doing a golf tournament. 2 Million Dollars for God's sake, incredible! My challenge for each of you in the wake of the New Year would be to find something that turns you on and make a difference.
Please, please, please.....sign up for the National Bone Marrow Registry. You can save a life. Donate your newborn's cordblood. You can save a life. Routinely give blood and platelets. You can save a life. You Can Make a Difference in 2005!
My commercial is over.
Have a safe New Year's Eve and happiest of all New Year's.
I love ya'll!
Dana & Family
Sunday, December 26, 2004 8:23 PM CST
What an incredible week! Whew! School is out and that means lots of kids in and out of the house. Lots of friends stopping by and us doing the same to them. Lots of meals shared with friends and lots of playdates. Lots of love. Life couldn't be any better than it is for our family. I remember so vividly wondering in March if Sam would be alive for the holidays. That was our reality just a few short months ago. He sure has come along way.
We could not be any prouder of our children than we are. Tonight, Dennis and Sam were conversing and Dennis said, "What an incredible kid. He completes this family." Such sweet tender words for a Dad to say about his son.
As a result of Sam's diagnosis, Dennis has become such a wonderful Dad. It's unfortunate it took this disease, but it's such a beautiful thing that came from it. I love to listen to Dennis with the kids when they don't know I'm around. I love to hear their interactions, their games and when they use their imagination together to create something special in their mind. We are so incredibly grateful to have our children and family together as this year comes to a close. What a year! What a ride!
I did something erroneously that really hurt Dennis' feelings recently. A truly horrible oversight. I'm so grateful that our relationship is as strong as it is and we're able to express our feelings with each other. We're in the healthiest place we've ever experienced. In January, we'll celebrate our 8th wedding anniversay although we've been together for 13 years. Can you say "commitment issues, much?" :) Just kidding, honey.
A few really exciting things have occurred this weekend. First, Allie was named the Reader's Choice for Dallas Morning News Texan of the Year. A lovely article was written about her in today's paper on the back page of Section H. If you're local, check it out if you have not already. You can also access it online from Jenny's site.
Secondly, I'm thrilled to announce Heroes For Children is officially up and running. The website; www.heroesforchildren.org "splash page" is available for view and the remainder of the site should be completed by early this week. Jenny & Larissa Brewton have joined forces, as I mentioned in an earlier post in order to create this non-profit organization. The purpose of the company is to provide financial assistance to families who have children battling cancer. So many times, one parent has to quit working in order to care for the sick child which obviously causes tremendous strains. I'm also very proud to say I will sit on the Board of this newly created organization.
And lastly, Jenny has created a Cafepress shop for "Heroes", where you can purchase lots of different merchandise with the awesome logo that was recently created. Check it out; www.cafepress.com and the shop is called hfcorg. All proceeds go back to the organization in order to fulfill it's mission of helping these well deserving families with sick kids.
A press release will go out tomorrow nationwide to radio stations, morning shows and talk shows in an effort to get Jenny & Larissa some much needed publicity. We all feel Heroes for Children is destined for greatness. Jenny happens to have the "midas touch" and everything she touches turns to gold. We're hoping for the same with "Heroes." Please help support this wonderful organization.
I hope you all had the very best Christmas ever and were able to share it with your beautiful families.
All our love,
Dana & Family
Wednesday, December 22, 2004 5:27 PM CST
Hi Everyone!
In case you don't live in or near the Dallas area, let me tell you what we're looking at right now. WINTER! Yep, it came in like a rush this morning. We woke to sleet, rain and later snow. Yes, it's true....we do sometimes get snow. It's funny because yesterday it was a beautiful spring day with temperatures hovering around 70 degrees, and then today it was like a blizzard. Our temp is currently about 32 degrees and should go down into the teens tonight. So with that said, Dallas will most likely be shut down tomorrow. Our city comes to a complete stop in weather like this. We're just not accustomed to driving in ice. I'm keeping my fingers crossed so Dennis will be home with us tomorrow. That would be the best!
We met with the therapist that assessed Ethan last week. Our meeting lasted more than an hour and a 12 page document was produced. WOW, we learned A LOT! Let me give you the "net net." Ethan will begin therapy twice weekly in January. He clearly shows some deficits in his processing ability as well as gross motor skills and on and on. We were extremely impressed with the thoroughness of the assessment and the way in which the information was presented to us by the OT. I have no concerns, that with early intervention, Ethan is going to do fine.
If you have time, please check on a new friend of mine. Her name is Danielle, she's 31, has 2 young kids and was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. She's a "Friend of Allie" and contacted me regarding treatment, etc. She's had a lumpectomy and is awaiting the pathology. She seems to have a great attitude and I know would love to hear some encouraging words. Lynn, if you're reading this, please give her a shout.
Check out the Dallas Morning News tomorrow. Look in the Editorial Section for an exciting story. It will probably be online tonight around 10pm or so.
It's 5:39pm and the boys are still napping. I better wake them up so I can put them back down at a reasonable time tonight. Have a great night.
xxoo,
Dana
Tuesday, December 21, 2004 8:48 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
As most of you know, we've been anxiously awaiting the test results from Sam's engraftment blood test. This will give us the most optimal news regarding the bone marrow transplant.
Well, today we received a call from Dana at the clinic with the news. We had hoped for a greater than 95 percent case of Ethan occupying Sam's body.
ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OF SAM IS DONOR....OR ANOTHER WORDS....ETHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ONE HUNDRED PERCENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There are certainly no guarantees that Sam won't relapse or develop a secondary cancer, but this is the best possible news we could have hoped for.
I wish you could have seen my husband's face today as I told him the news. His face went white, then flush. The most perfect shade of red you can imagine. Just today, Dennis allowed himself to delve into that really dreadful place..."we could actually lose Sam." He didn't share his fear until after I had shared the miraculous news.
Tonight, we'll rest assured that our son will wake up tomorrow and thrive as he's done the last few months. Thank you to all who have prayed daily for our family. Our thoughts on spirituality may be quite different but I wouldn't discourage you and your prayers for an instant.
Our prayer is that you can relish in our good news.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all that you have done!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Monday, December 20, 2004 7:57 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
Let me start with some sad news. Little Hayley from Georgia lost her fight with AML last night. She had been under the care of hospice for a couple of weeks and died peacefully at her home, with her family. Her parents remained full of magnificent grace through the end. You can visit her caringbridge site, by checking Allie's and following the link.
Kayla had a more tolerable time today while collecting stem cells. She was given a calcium drip which helped immensely! I saw her for a quick second at The Society today and she looked really good. She'll know in a day or so if she's producing enough to be frozen for transplant at a later date.
You all just HAVE to check out my friend, Lynn's site tonight. She wrote a really great posting, but equally important (and very impressive), her husband signed her guestbook for the first time. His entry is FABULOUS!!!! www.caringbridge.org/tx/lynnnewman.
James Faulkinbury went in for his 7th round of chemo. I believe he's half way through. He gets chemo every 3 wks for 26 wks if memory serves me right. He's doing great from last I heard.
Okay, now onto my little men. Sam woke up again this morning with pain in his upper left leg, so we had the pleasure of seeing Dr. Goldman today. His pain and muscle weakness could be caused by a myriad of things including; necrosis, steroids, cyclosporine, joint issues, blah, blah, blah. He had a series of x-rays and labs were drawn. Looking at his labs from last week, it was noticed that his cyclosporine level was about 2.5x higher last week, than in previous months. With that info, we all thought that was the culprit. However, I received Dr. Goldman's call this afternoon, to learn that all labs, chemistry's and x-rays were normal. His cyclosporine level today was back to his more consistent levels. Dr. G called the lab to see if the true engraftment test was available and it wasn't. I was told that if Sam continues to have pain and muscle weakness, we'll do a bone marrow biopsy next week at his regular appointment. Oh Yeah? Wanna bet? I'm not going down that path, damn it!
So guess what? The power of our minds is pretty remarkable, I'd say. After his nap, Sam was walking almost normal. I think I willed him to straighten up and walk normal. HA! Hopefully, this little blip is over. I'll keep you posted as the next few days progress.
Ethan had the pleasure of having a great play date with Josh Billman today. He was so excited and according to Elvia, the boys did great together. Sam and I spent the day together going to clinic and running some errands. Sam got a new Gameboy today. Sometimes the path of least resistance is the best approach. We have one (thanks to Uncle Greg) but the boys always seemed to want to play with it at the exact same second in time. When Sam told Dr. G he was getting one today, Dr. G asked him what color he was getting. Oh gee thanks, doc....now I had the challenge of finding a blue one! Before that question was asked, Sam had no idea they came in different colors. I have to say, however, we bonused out as we snatched the very last blue one that Circuit City had. Thank God, because I had no intention of searching the city for a blue Gameboy today.
I received some really exciting news this morning. Two women contacted me from The LLS and confirmed that Sam & Jed (www.caringbridge.org/tx/jed) will be the "poster kids" for the Light the Night Campaign in 2005. On all marketing pieces relating to this campaign, Sam & Jed will be featured. We're so thrilled and honored! Mary, Jed's mom, had the cool idea of taking a picture of the two of them, side by side, while we were still in the hospital. We captioned the picture: Cancer comes in all sizes. Jed happens to be a 19 year old kid that is huge! I'm not talking fat, just really tall and big boned. Next to Sam, he looks like a giant. The Society was so moved by the picture and caption, that the Marketing team will use the concept. Did I say how excited we are? Oh yeah, I think I did!
Sammy & I are enjoying some computer time together. He's playing pinball on his Gameboy while I type my post. Ethan and Dad are at Frye's returning something. Dennis loves to go to Frye's. I won't step foot in the place. For some reason, however, he seems to return the majority of the stuff he buys there. Why does he continue to do this to himself???? Can you say, OCD much?
Dennis and I have our parent conference with IPT on Wednesday to see how Ethan assessed. I'm looking forward to hearing the results and hope he is a good candidate for this fascility as I think it's top notch.
I know there's more to talk about, but I'll let you go and visit some of my friends I mentioned. Oh, also check out Madeleine's website as she has some pics of Sam & Ethan posted. Scroll down on her front page. It's www.caringbridge.org/tx/madeleine. Forgive me if I already posted this info the other day...just couldn't remember.
Have a great Monday!
Lots of love,
Dana & Family
Sunday, December 19, 2004 9:57 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
Thank you God, for my life. I am so grateful for my incredible kids and husband. I hope my children will one day be able to read this entry. Our life could not be any better.
We are so blessed that we are all together. Many people whom I have never met are experiencing their worst nightmare....losing a child. I only know of these people through their Caringbridge websites. Because we were so close to losing Sam, I feel compelled to follow their websites. I feel I understand their fear and unfathomable sadness. Today, my child is healthy, but we have no idea what the future holds.
I pray my precious Sam will continue to strive and grow and be all that he can be. I pray he will learn to acclimate back with his friends. I pray he will not disengage when a situation becomes difficult as he is currently doing. I want everything for Sam as I do for Ethan.
Tonight, it was so cute as Sam came into my office and informed me that he, Ethan and Daddy were going on a date. They were going for chicken nuggets (KFC), then ice cream, a quick stop at Dad's office then a quick trip around the neighborhood to look at the Christmas lights. They only missed out on the ice cream before they found their way home. I got them ready for bed and read them a book of their choice. And off to la-la land they went. Of course, it's 10:11pm and Sam has just informed me that he tried really hard but can't fall asleep in his room. OH BIG SURPRISE!!!!!
How can I possibly complain? I love these little munchins more than anything in the world! My husband is the master chef, my kids bring me ultimate and unconditional joy and life if good. I'm simply the luckiest girl around.
Thank you for following our story. I know there are more interesting stories out there. One day, Sam will be able to fully grasp the magnitude of his Caringbridge site.
All our love for a peaceful and joyous week.
Dana & Family
Saturday, December 18, 2004 5:10 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
I'm sitting here watching Dennis assemble a toy that the kids received from Emma Day today. It's a really cool Discovery Toy called Rocket Roller. Sam is a bit frustrated because it takes some strength to get the ball started and his body doesn't seem to be cooperating with his mind. Ethan on the other hand has mastered it in no time at all.
Sam woke up this morning with pain in his left upper leg. I gave him some Tylenol this morning but it hasn't seemed to help. He has had some muscle weakness from time to time since diagnosis so we'll watch him and make a decision whether or not to call the doctor tomorrow. There's really nothing that can be done but anything and everything is cause for a bit of worry.
Meanwhile, Sam's counts remain perfect. Sam was given his IVIG on Tuesday as well as his engraftment test. On Thursday, I received a surprise message from Dr. Weinthal. He said according to Sam's red cell typing, he was 100% Ethan. Sam & Ethan started off with different blood types and now Sam only shows Ethan's. UNBELIEVABLE NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Obviously, we're cautiously optimistic and won't believe it fully until the molecular study comes back the week after next. But for the moment, we'll begin breathing again. Thank God!!!!
Yesterday, we had an impromtu playdate with the kid's pseudo cousin, Madeleine! Madeleine's mommy is my brother's ex-wife. Connie and I have stayed in contact over the years and her daughter is so incredibly precious. She unfortunately has her own caringbridge site, so please check on her at: www.caringbridge.org/tx/madeleine. She has a really rare autoimmune disorder that effects her muscles. The three kids had a blast together. They ate lunch then played outside on the playset. Madeleine surprised us all by running over to the fort and climbing the stairs with ease. She also hung from the monkey bars which takes quite a bit of strength too. We were so proud of her and Connie took lots of digital pics that she'll our way soon.
Last night, Dennis & I went over to Jenny & Andrew's to celebrate Allie's life. Both sides of the family were there including some of their best friends. Stacy & Angie from the Society were also in attendance which made it just that much more special. We had a great dinner thanks to everyone bringing in the "goods," shared some wine and listened to some amazing toasts. One in particular came from one of the "Friends of Allie" named Moni. Moni wrote the most eloquent letter to Jenny & Andrew, sharing intimate feelings and emotions. It was truly so beautifully written that it moved most to tears. She also included an incredibly hefty check that will go towards Heroes for Children and included two pictures of Allie, where many from around the country had signed the backs with personal messages. Pappa Bill read her letter flawlessly and we all marveled that a perfect stranger would go to such effort. Moni isn't actually a total stranger as she has been involved in another fundraising effort with proceeds going back to HFC as well. It's pretty incredible how people all across the United States and beyond have been touched like this by Allie. She truly made her mark, I'd say.
Dennis' family is coming over for lunch tomorrow to celebrate a belated Hanukkah so we're excited about that.
Otherwise, all is great over here. Hopefully, Sam's leg will feel better tomorrow and he'll be more mobile.
Hope you're all having a terrific weekend!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Tuesday, December 14, 2004 9:50 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
Tonight was the last night of Hanukkah and the boys enjoyed every last second of it. Sam opened a book and Ethan opened his pj/kazoo gift. That makes me laugh even typing it.
Lauren and her twins came over to exchange gifts and the boys got some really really cool Rescue Hero toys. Then Sam's favorite girlfriend showed up, Jenny, and brought another great Rescue Hero for Ethan and a cool addition to Sam's train track. Poor Andrew, he couldn't even think about leaving tonight without setting up the entire shabang! No one can build a train track like Andrew. My boys aren't the only boys who know that either....right Josh and Joey?
Yesterday, was the three month anniversary of Allie's passing. How did Jenny spend the day?????, working at the Society and later giving a speech along with myself to a group of about 60. This was the appreciation reception for the Dallas and Plano Light the Night walkers. The turnout was a bit disappointing, but the message was crystal clear and there were few dry eyes in the place. I was so incredibly inspired and blessed by Jenny and Andrew's strength yesterday. I love you guys!
As most of you are aware, Allie would be turning 1 years old this Friday. Jenny and Andrew, after much deliberation, decided not to go into a deep dark funk, but rather to celebrate their daughter's 9 months on this earth. A few family and friends will be on hand to help support Jenny & Andrew through this day as well as the remaining few weeks in the year. Send them your thoughts, it means so much to them.
Sam had his marathon 3 hour appointment today for IVIG. I found out today he might receive 4 more infusions, taking us into April, then get his lines out. Dr. Weinthal mentioned today that perhaps if he finished Cyclosporine in March he might still want to infuse one more dose in April. You know what???? At this point, who cares?
If Sam returns to school at all this calendar year, it will only be in May. Ok, I'm used to the idea now and am not grieving over it. If Sam stays cancer free, I could care less if he returns to school at all at this point.
Sam's blood was sent to North Carolina today for the engraftment test. Our next appointment is scheduled for December 29th and we should have our answers then. We are looking for a greater than 95 percent compilation of Ethan in Sam. This is a very sensitive molecular test and should be extremely accurate. I learned today, that when the option is available, the docs prefer to use a different gender for transplant. The chromosome test is so much easier and faster than the molecular one. Please keep your fingers and toes crossed for the next 2 weeks. Sorry for the discomfort factor!
I have some sad news to report. Our favorite hunky nurse/fireman; Aron, has officially left Medical City as of today. Tomorrow, he will begin his next journey in the world of medicine through the surgery center at Presby Plano. He'll do pre-op, post-op and sedation. He and his family have truly been a "god-send" to our family. Aron often came up to 12South to visit Sam, bringing him gifts along the way. His wife, Kelly, and the girls came up when Sam was on 6, being treated for Graft -vs-Host disease and also attended the candle light vigil for Allie, just 2 days before she passed away. They were also on hand for our Light the Night walk. Aron is one passionate and caring man. We have grown to love him and his beautiful family and will miss him immensely at Medical City. Good luck my friend, may you land in the exact right place!
Kayla has made it through chemo pretty well actually. I spoke with her tonight and she never even "yacked." Oh, now there's a word I haven't used since Junior High. Anyway, today she received her second dose of Nupagin. This is an injection that will boost and raise her white count. The side effects (as I remember all too well) are feeling flu like symptoms. She is already experiencing some of the achiness. She should be good to go to Aspheresis on Monday if not before. This is where she is hooked up to a couple of machines that will actually take her blood, separate it by content (I believe) then distribute it right back into the other arm. This is the way in which they will collect her stem cells for transplant later on. Pray for Kayla as this is not an easy process. She is a fragile girl on the outside, but believe me she is quite tough inside....where it counts.
I think that's the novel for the day. I'm so glad I was able to talk tonight (almost uninterrrupted), it feels really therapeutic. Tomorrow, Ethan has his big assessment at 9am.
Have a great night tonight and day tomorrow! I know we will!!!!!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Sunday, December 12, 2004 9:57 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
I'm so sorry I haven't posted since Wednesday. I have every intention of updated you all on a daily basis but seem to be crunched for time most everyday. I remember feeling such a sense of obligation not only to you but truly to myself when we were in the hospital. It was my outlet, my therapy, my release to write.
Our life is just pretty basic and normal at this moment in time. Thank God!!! As Annie wrote in her post the other night, "No news is good news." Ain't that the truth!
We've just been enjoying the holiday season so much. Each night the kids look so forward to the sun setting and for signs of the first star in the sky so they can begin Hanukkah for that night. We always start with lighting the candles on the Menorah and "run" to the presents from there. Sam & Ethan take turns each night putting the candles into the Menorah and lighting them (with a little help from Mom.)
Tonight, Ethan opened two Sponge Bob videos and Sam opened a spin art toy that can be used in the bathtub. They also received some awesome books from some of their good friends.
We've really enjoyed some of the traditional foods of our Jewish Holiday including Latkes. Dennis made them tonight along with his new "famous" recipe for turkey and everything turned out amazing. My husband happens to be an incredible cook. That happens to be one of the many things I love about him.
My kids seem to be so much more manageable when it's just the two of them. Add a couple more boys to the mix and all hell breaks loose. Why on earth is that? We can be around the most well behaved children in the world (The Barton boys) and yet still my kids are hyper, emotional, and loud. Oh Vey!
Have you guys seen this cool robot called "Kinderbot" by Fisher Price (I think.)? Anyway, it was one of Sam's presents and both kids really love it. If you're looking for something educational that the kids can do on their own, in the $40 price range (I think), take a look at this toy. It has been one of the biggest hits.
Sam goes into clinic on Tuesday for IVIG as well as the "engraftment test." Results on that test take approximately 10 days. This is the one that will tell us how much of Ethan is occupying Sam. We need a high percentage to ensure Sam will remain in remission. If I let myself think about it, I feel an anxiety attack creeping in. After Tuesday, if all goes according to plan, Sam should have 3 more IVIG's. One in Jan, Feb and March. By the end of March, he should be completely off of Cyclosporine and his lines can come out. God, I hope it's going to be this easy.
Dennis and I are anxious to schedule a few vacations for 2005 including the kids. It's so hard as we obviously have no idea what condition Sam will be in. Hopefully, he'll be ready to travel in April. That's our dream at this point.
Thank you all for the wonderful and beautiful well wishes during this time of Hanukkah. It means so much to read all of your encouraging words.
One final note, if you ordered your "Kids with Cancer Calendar" (like me), there were a few mistakes that have been corrected. You can contact Cafepress.com to make arrangements to send back the ones you have for the corrected version.
ISN'T LIFE GRAND? I SURE THINK SO!
Love to all,
Dana & Family
Wednesday, December 8, 2004 2:29 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
I have a little time to kill so I’m sitting at Border’s doing my update.
We’re having such a fabulous day in Dallas today. It’s sunny with blue skies and slightly brisk. I wonder how the weather is around the world? It’s very rare that I get to watch the news as typically 2 little monkeys are in my bed and don’t like the tv on.
The calendar is booked as we sail through December. My shopping is complete and I spent 2.5 hours yesterday wrapping. Last night marked the night of Hanukkah. We will celebrate by lighting the menorah each night for 8 as well as allowing the kids to open one gift each night for 8.
This is our first year to do the 8 night of presents and kids are soooooo excited. I wish you could have all seen their faces when they awoke from napping yesterday to see 2 stacks of presents. Their faces lit up and they started doing the “happy dance!”
Just so I don’t get any “negative response” let me tell you that most of the gifts are very small. But it doesn’t matter to Sam & Ethan....any gift is a good one. So on night #1, Sam opened a dual gift, Bob the Builder pj’s and a Kazoo. Ethan opened what will be his “big” gift unbeknownst to him, a Leap Frog Cash Register. The kids had a blast night with it and really shared so well. Sam immediately put his pj’s on and it was only 6pm. But it was pitch black outside to him, so it was night time.
Tonight is Dennis’ office holiday party which we look forward to each year. He has approximately 35 people that work in the office. Each is invited to bring a guest and we have a wonderful meal at the club. It’s actually kind of funny, because it’s held each year at The Columbian Club (Jewish country club) and yet there are only 3 Jewish people in the office. Anyway, everyone dresses pretty festive and has a great time.
Tomorrow night I’m hosting our Book Club at the house. This month we read, “Running with Scissors.” Totally bizarre story, which is my favorite kind. I’m also going to attempt 2 new recipes for dinner. Hopefully, we won’t have to resort to Dominos.
Ethan had his first of two assessments/consults yesterday and I’m not sure I can even properly explain how peculiar it was. I think I’ll hold my comments in an effort not to insult anyone. Let’s just say, I’m looking forward to next Tuesday’s with a different group. Keep your fingers crossed it’s the right fit. If not, then I’ll keep going until it is.
My guys (all 3) are doing fabulous! I’m so proud to be a part of this family. Infinite joy is what I feel most everyday. Don’t get me wrong and think I’m a freak, believe me I have some “flat” days, but it’s certainly not the norm.
My family is healthy and that’s everything, isn’t it? Financial issues, academic issues, learning and cognitive issues all take a back seat to our health. If you find yourselves this holiday season feeling bad because you can’t as much as you’d like to for your kids, WHO CARES! Cherish your kids.....they’re everything. The other day my kids had the most fantastic time playing with their friend, Max, in empty boxes. It was a huge highlight of their day.
My darling, Jenny, is having a hard week. The sadness hit her and took hold yesterday and she left The Society early. Her dad’s birthday is tomorrow and the thought of not having Allie and her dad was more than she could handle. She went home and sat in the middle of Allie’s room, going through her stuff and sobbed more than she has before. She looked through Allie’s baby book, she found certain dresses that reminded her of Allie’s condition at the time she wore each and just felt so down. Jenny said she just needed a break from cancer for a couple of days. Do you realize it’s been less than 3 months since Allie died? Only 3 months. It seems so long ago. Jenny has embedded herself so quickly in the outside world. We discussed this yesterday and she said it was either that, or stay under her covers for months. I think I can really understand how horrifically painful it is to loose a child, even though I have not. I often think about it. I can feel my heart growing heavy and my chest tightening when my mind goes towards those thoughts. It was really weird yesterday, because I had Allie and her last 12 hours on mind most of the morning, before speaking with Jenny. Jenny is going to join Kayla, Susan (Kayla’s mom) and myself for lunch today so I hope that will give her a momentary break from her sadness.
I know there must be loads more to discuss, but I have to pick up my darling little Ethan from school.
Have a beautiful day!
All my love,
Dana & Family
Sunday, December 5, 2004 3:38 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
WOW! What a weekend! Let's see...where to start?
On Friday night Kristin, Glen and the kiddos came over for dinner and some delicious wine. Oh Yeah, the wine was indeed delicious! Our friend, Harris, owner of Pogos was able to get us a case of a new wine we recently discovered called Twomey. We bought a '91 Merlot and will share it with Lauren Z. YUM!
The kids were a bundle of loudness and energy. Four little boys running around, hanging out in Play Huts and playing instruments to the ninth degree of volume. My ears were ringing by the time everyone left. We had a little marching band happening at one point in the evening. Our house has really tall ceilings and travertine flooring which does not make for acoustical sensitivity.
Saturday was spent just hanging out in the morning. Actually, we ALL got into a Play Hut and it was hysterical. Ethan, Dennis and I had a blast. Sam was stressed because too many bodies were in his "house." That is one anal child. Everything has to be just perfect or he is affected. We kept reassuring him, chaos was a good thing and fun. He didn't quite buy into the concept. We decided to "divide and conquer." Ethan and Dennis went for a haircut for Dennis, while I took Sam to run a few errands. We had to go to 2 different pharmacies for his meds this time. Next, I took Kristin's advice, and took Sam to Razor's Edge on Legacy and the Tollway for his first haircut in oh, let's see.....7 months, I believe. His hair is really growing in and he was beginning to look like the kid on The Munsters. Was his name Eddie or was that the Dad's? Anyway, the lady was really great and took a lot of time shaping his hair and giving it a style. The best part of all is that she was able to get rid of all the peach fuzz the Cyclosporine has created....neck, cheeks, ears, top of his back, etc. He looks like Sam again, maybe even better. She even persuaded Sam to let her trim his eyebrows. Thank God!
Last night we went to Dragonfly at Hotel Zaza compliments of Dr.'s McDonald and Katz. We went with another couple who had also received a gift certificate from them. The docs in Plano all give each other gift certificates to fun restaurants. We always enjoy using them each year.
Today, has been a simple and easy day for the most part. Judy is finally back in Dallas after spending 12 weeks in New York training for her new career with Bernstein & Associates. She brought Campbell "bamble" over this morning with bagels and we had a nice visit. Unfortunately, towards the end of her visit, I ruptured an ovarian cyst. I was writhing in pain on my closet floor then pinched a nerve in my neck. At this point I was pretty verbal and almost crying when then I vageled. (I can assure you I'm not spelling this right, it's actually called Vaso Vagel.) In my case it's when I experience swift severe pain, my blood pressure drops, I start sweating and feel like I'm either going to pass out or vomit. I'm zapped of energy. Needless to say, I was not having fun. Dennis got the pain meds as I crawled into bed. The pain intensified before it got better, but of course it did get better and I was fine by noon. This is certainly not my first time to experience this, but it did catch me off guard as I didn't even feel I had a cyst this time. Fortunately, Dennis was already going to take the kids to his parents for a visit so I was able to have a couple of hours alone.
Kayla, her mom, Susan and her daughter, Shaylee were going to come over this evening but we decided to make it a raincheck as Kayla wasn't feeling fabulous today either. I did find out that she might not have to be admitted for chemo this time. She may do it as an outpatient but will find out on Tuesday. She thinks she'll be given Cytoxin. I was given that when going through my chemo treatment. The doctor thinks the reason she wasn't able to produce enough cells before was due to the incredible amount of chemo she was given. Her ideal scenario is to do chemo, then try and collect stem cells later in the month. She would prefer to go to transplant once Shaylee has completed her spring semester at school. She'll see what Dr. Berryman thinks about this idea and I'll let you all know the outcome. Thank you to so many of you who have stopped by her webpage. She said it really brightened her day today to read so many guestbook entries. WWW.Caringbridge.org/tx/kaylavancleve.
Finally, I want to also say a huge Thank You to all that provided me with such valuable information regarding Ethan's potential situation. After reading several of the links you provided as well as speaking with people in the "Industry," I believe Ethan might have Sensory not Auditory Processing Disorder (if anything.) They are obviously connected, however, Sensory Processing Disorder is highly treatable in a relatively short time frame, where CAPD could be a much longer treatment. From what I've been told, CAPD is not even diagnosed before age 8. We have an appointment with a specialist on Tuesday and I have one more appointment to make for a second opinion. He will be re-enrolled into Speech Therapy as well. I pulled him out a few weeks ago and will get him back in immediately as this plays a roll in SPD as well. Some have suggested that his behavior and actions might be due to the stress of this past year. It might play a roll, but I do believe he is experiencing some sort of processing issue.
Lastly and sadly, there is a little girl (20 months old) named Hayley living in Georgia that is just about to lose her fight with Leukemia. Last night while driving to the restaurant I spoke with Jenny. I told her about Kayla's relapse and she told me Hayley wouldn't make it too much longer. We hung up and the tears just overwhelmed me. To think about another family that has to say goodbye to their perfect little girl just weighed so heavy on my heart.
Jenny, Lois (National team captain of Allie's Angels) and myself will have a conference call with a Director at the Society tomorrow. We will strategize on how we can raise the bar even higher for the 2005 Light the Night. Please be thinking about this. I know it seems so far away and the holidays are right around the corner. I know we'll be able to generate even more money this coming up year. By the way, did you ever hear the totals for 2004? No? Sorry! Locally, 12 South Angels brought in $175,000 and nationally, including our money, Allie's Angels brought in a record $414,000. Remember, the bulk of this was raised in just about 10 weeks. Please help us surpass that in 2005.
NO MORE LEUKEMIA....damn it!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Saturday, December 4, 2004 6:19 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
I don't have time for a long post tonight but promise to fill everyone in on our wonderful weekend antics tomorrow.
More importantly though....I NEED YOUR HELP!
One of my dear friends, Kayla, has just learned that she has relapsed for the second time with Lymphoma. We met on 12 South. She will meet with her Oncologist on Tuesday and go from there. Most likely she'll be readmitted this coming week. Kayla is a single mom of a beautiful 7th grader named Shaylee. Kayla's mom, Susan, has flown in from Colorado to help. Please visit Kayla's caringbridge site (www.caringbridge.org/tx/kaylavancleve) and send her your love and well wishes. If you're local and can assist with meals or whatever the family might need, it would be greatly appreciated. Kayla is a quiet and kind of private woman. She would NEVER ask for any help. She's another warrior and I love her.
Kayla, if you happen to read this, I obviously have heard the news and love you so much. I'm there for you and will be anytime you need me. This is a temporary set back and don't you forget it. Call me tomorrow.
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Wednesday, December 1, 2004 1:58 PM CST
DENNIS EISENBERG: IF YOU DON'T CHANGE THE PICTURES TONIGHT, THE LOCKS WILL BE CHANGED TOMORROW! :)
Dear Friends & Family,
It's 2:00 in the afternoon and I'm going to take advantage of Elvia playing with kids so I can do my post.
Aren't we simply the luckiest of the two genders? I think so. I love being a woman so I can be a mom. I love being a mom, don't you? Is this the best job in the world? Yep!
I think I must kiss my kids 100x each day and tell them each I love them 50x. I remember when they were younger and I yearned for them to be able to tell me they loved me. Now, they say it constantly. That's the best feeling! I love hearing it and could never grow tired of it. Motherhood is the ultimate in my opinion.
Sam had his clinic appointment this morning. Where else can you take your kid and the Doctor plays with him for 15 minutes before even examining him? Dr. Goldman is such a doll and has a heart of gold. He took a tongue suppressor (you know the stick) and drew different faces on each side/each end. He drew a happy face, sad, scared and mean face. It was so cute and naturally Sam loved it. Sam Eisenberg happens to be the most polite child I've ever been around. "Please and Thank You" are just part of his venacular. It sure makes a mom proud.
Sam's counts look beautiful. Every lab result is where it should be. Two weeks from now, Sam will have a special test run (via his blood) that will tell us what percentage of Ethan is living within Sam. The test results come back approximately 10 days later. I wonder if I'll be able to breathe during those 10 days? One hundred percent would be ideal but not expected. Lymphocites are the last to go. A minimum of 90 percent is imperative. We have no reason to believe that it would not be as high as 95 percent or greater, but the test will remove any questions. This test will then be performed every 3 months. If Sam were to relapse, there are things that can be done with early detection that were out of the question with his original diagnosis. Beginning today, Sam will take steroids every other day for one week. If he has no problems or adverse results, then he'll be completely off of steroids as well as Zantac in a week.
Typically in transplant patients, on day 180 the Cyclosporine weaning process begins. The process is done at a much slower rate than the steroids and usually takes 12 weeks or so. While Sam is on Cyclosporine, he'll continue to get IVIG once per month. Dr. Goldman said we might start this prior to 180 days, but we'll see. At this rate, he should be off of everything by around the March-April time frame, depending on when we start. Once he's off of everything, his central lines will be removed provided he doesn't get any infection within his lines. If that were to occur, then they would be removed and a port would be inserted. I learned today, that Sam might not be returning to school at all in the Spring. That hit me really hard. Possibly, he can go in April and May. We'll just have to be patient.
Having fun yet? No? Ok, then let me tell you about our hero, Ethan.
Today, after Sam's appointment, I finally had my parent/teacher conference for Ethan. For some reason, I flaked on this and as a result, I was the last (and very late) to do this. Ethan is doing really good and has shown significant improvements all the way around since the beginning of this school year. He's playing well with the other kids, interacting with them nicely, participating in all projects and loves school and his teachers so much. He comes in each morning ready to see what he gets to do that day with such enthusiasm. Are you waiting for the "but" or "however?"....ok, here it is....It appears that Ethan has an auditory processing deficit. This is something that Dennis & I were aware of, yet when your teachers bring it to your attention, your heart plummets into your stomach. If you were to give Ethan a series of tasks to execute, he would probably be able to accomplish one, then would either get sidetracked or forget your directions all together. He's very easily distracting as well. His teachers feel we should bring this to his Pediatrician's attention and possibly get him tested. They don't believe it's ADD, but maybe some form of learning disability. They feel his ability to learn could be impacted from this deficit, but with early detection and intervention, he should be able to compensate accordingly. I've already put the call into Dr. McDonald.
Has anyone had any experience with this? If so, please email me or sign the guestbook with any valuable information you might have.
Never a dull moment!
After Sam's appointment and before Ethan's conference, we snuck over to the LLS to surprise Jenny. Jenny just got back from Utah on Sunday and Sam has been asking for her. We quietly tiptoed into the office and found her in her cubicle with her sliding door shut. Sam gently slid it open and yelled, "Surprise!!!!" Jenny was on the phone but quickly ended her conversation just as Sam was running into her arms. If Jenny were only 22 years younger, they'd be a match made in heaven. They're so in love with each other. Sidenote: During Dr. Goldman's exam, Sam asked when Jenny was going to have the "other" baby. I told him as soon as it starts growing in her tummy. Jenny....Andrew.....get busy, the concept of time is difficult for a 4 year old.
And finally, please be sure and check out the link below for Cafepress. A few girls that are involved with "Friends of Allie" put together an incredible 2005 calendar with pictures of kids with cancer. Sam and Allie are both featured and all proceeds go back to Taylor's Angels. This is a non profit organization which was created by Larissa Brewton after her daughter, Taylor, died from AML a few years ago. Taylor's Angels provides financial support to families with loved ones going through cancer treatment. Jenny and Larissa are in the process of joining forces to create one very large and very successful non profit organization. Please, help by purchasing a calendar. I believe they are only $20.
That's the novel for today. Dallas is gorgeous and sunny today. I hope wherever you are, you're having a great one!
All my love,
Dana & Family
PS (Please sign the guestbook so I know a few of you are still reading our posts!)
Sunday, November 28, 2004 8:48 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
Sunday night and the kids are in their room, although not in their beds as I can clearly detect.
The past few days have been wonderful. Dennis' sister, Melissa, is in town from Oakland and we've been having so much fun. We're really close and love spending time with her.
I can't remember if I wrote about this so bare with me if I'm repeating myself. On Thursday (Thanksgiving) morning I took the kids to see Polar Express. We went to the 10am show and surveyed the place before commiting to the movie. There were only about 20 or so people in the theater so I felt it was ok to stay. This was Sam's first movie in more than 7 months. He thought some of it was scary and asked to leave several times, but I encouraged him to stay. In the end, he was so proud of himself he kept saying, "Mom, I did it!" I was so proud of him as well.
Our Thanksgiving was great. For the fourth year in a row, we ordered the feast from Celebrity Bakery. Just makes life so darn easy. Dennis, however, made the turkey this year. This was his first attempt. I found the recipe in New York magazine and Dennis executed it flawlessly. It was incredible! Everyone raved about it as a matter of fact.
On Friday, Dennis and I went and saw "Neverland" with Johnny Depp. Great film about the author of Peter Pan. A definite 2 thumbs up. Friday night we went to Citizen with Melissa. If you haven't been there in a while or ever...you must go. The food was fabulous! Dennis was paged right as our Edamame was delivered and had to race back to Plano. He was able to make it back before the entrees were cold and enjoy the food. On Saturday, we took the kids and ran some errands. Then that night, we had dinner with the Zlotky's at Pappa's Bros. Oh My God! What an incredible meal. That was our first time and it was every bit as marvelous as they had been telling us. We managed to find a superior wine made by Silver Oaks and polished off 3 bottles. Holy Cow!!!!! Our bill was exhorbitant as was our headaches this morning. No complaints though.
Today was a family day. Dennis' parents brought over some of our relatives that we rarely get to see. We had lunch at the house and had some fun conversation. Late this afternoon, we went and saw, "Sideways." Another must see flick. I love getting caught up on films.
I made a really bad mistake this morning by stepping on the scale. I guess enough is enough and it's time to do something about my constant weight gain. Tomorrow, I'm back in the gym and watching my calorie intake before I have to go to the Plus Size stores. For those who don't know, I'm only 5'2" tall and can't carry this amount of weight very gracefully.
Alex decided to go back with his mom a couple of weeks ago. Cameron says she's going back at the winter break. We're doing everything we can to persuade her otherwise. Her email address is: candyfoshizznick@aol.com so send her your thoughts. Dennis and I really want her to stay for the remainder of the year. We think it's in her best interest. Help us with our campaign! She is such a doll with incredible potential. We want to help her see that.
Sam & Ethan have been very well behaved this week. They were so excited about the Thanksgiving feast and had a blast playing with Jack. They are so into creative play right now. Although it always involves doctors and hospitals, none the less, it's so cool to watch. They are definitely best friends. I sure hope that lasts a lifetime. They have developed their own little language as well. It's wild to listen to. Weird words in a deliberate sequence, then they giggle. I just love every ounce of these kids.
Final Note: Ethan officially got the worst haircut of his life. He has no sideburn on one side and only a slight one on the other. When the lady used the trimmer over his ears, she went way to high on one side. I was freaking out and told her it looked awful. I was so disturbed by this that I felt like he would be embarrassed. Then I remembered he's only 4 and could care less. In his opinion, by the way, he thinks his hair looks great! Far greater things in life to be disturbed by, huh?
That's the update. Hope your Thanksgiving was the best ever!
All our love,
Dana & Family
Wednesday, November 24, 2004 3:00 PM CST
Dear Friends and Family,
As I entered Solomon Schechter yesterday and saw my little Ethan dressed as an Indian and enthusiastically saying, "Hi Mom! Did you know Thanksgiving is America's birthday?" my funk was lifted. Thats all it took, seeing my adorable little Indian (with his rash) taking care of business in his classroom.
As it turns out, Ethan's culture did not test positive for strep and we think he has Fifths Disease. Several kids at school have had it and there's really nothing that can be done for it. He most likely was exposed to it 10-14 days prior to the rash and during that time he was most contagious. Once the rash appears, he's no longer contagious. Now that he's had it, he should never get it again. It is however, dangerous for transplant kids, pregnant women and adults. Sam received his IVIG today (Gammaglobulin transfusion) which carries some antibodies that would destroy the ones found in Fifths which is the good news, I guess. Hopefully, Sam won't come down with it and I can cross that one off the list.
Sam decided to vomit last night around 9:30pm in his tricycle basket. I was glad he opted for the basket rather than the carpet. An hour later and he was at it again, narrowly making it to the toilet. That was very impressive, if I do say so myself. We think he had some bad milk or something, but after the second episode, he was fine and slept well. Today he's been totally fine. Who knows? But every little anything and your mind goes into overdrive. What was once a little rash, could now be very serious for Sam. Over the course of the past 7.5 months, we've all become hypersensitive to little nothings. That's ok though, because we're all together.
Today, Lauren Z. kidnapped Ethan as Sam and I were to be at the doctors office for 3+ hours. She took her twin boys and Ethan to her company Thanksgiving party, then to see Sponge Bob. It's 3:13pm and he's still MIA! Lauren, I know he's cute, but you already have 2 sets. Bring mine home! You're encroaching (sp?) on naptime!
We got to see Dr. Goldman today. Sam was really excited and was for the most part, pretty well behaved. Seeing Dr. G is always such a pleasure. He just makes you smile when he enters a room. So full of charisma. We also got to see Dr. Lenarsky in passing which Sam was happy about and Dr. Weinthal is out of town for the holiday. We love these guys. Are you sick of hearing that or what?
I had an impromptu lunch with my friend Andrea K. Anyday is a good day for Sushi, right? Andrea and Dennis have known each other since they were kids. Andrea has twin girls my kids age and they all go to school together. I hope Sam & Ethan end up dated her girls. That would be such a riot. They are the most darling little girl twins around I must say. Sam, however, already has his eye on Emma Day and Jenny, so we'll just have to see how it all turns out. Anyway, Andrea was able to solicit funds for Light the Night from her co-workers and clients to the tune of $8500 or so. She really came through for our team.
I just wanted to say a special Happy Thanksgiving to Melissa E. Kristin, Judy, Karla and Lauren and to their families. These girls really carried me through the last several months and I love each of you like a sister. So many people helped us it's really so special to think about. My Aunt Sue dropped everything, postponed a major trip and flew out twice to help with Ethan. My sister in law, Melissa E. did the same. Without these two women along with my other sister in law, Jamie E. I don't know what Dennis & I would have done. We would have gotten by, but it sure would have been much more difficult than it already was.
I think back on all the food delivery. My God! The countless women who brought lunches and dinners 7 days a week. Battling the horrible traffic and construction that surrounds Medical Ctiy was a nightmare. Some of these women had their own children in the hospital, were going through their own battle with cancer or were pregnant and about to pop, yet still did this mitzvah for our family. Thank you. We are so grateful to each and everyone of you. Just because it's over doesn't mean we'll ever forget your generosity.
Our tables are set and we're expecting 10 or so for dinner and a few more drop ins tomorrow. As we sit at our table and reflect on the year we've all had I know ours will not be filled with sorrow or sadness but that of gratitude for our family has this Thanksgiving together.
Have a beautiful Thanksgiving. Give thanks to God. Give thanks to your family. Give thanks to your friends. Be grateful for all that you have.
All our love from our family to yours,
Dana & Family
Monday, November 22, 2004 10:24 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
I'm not in a very good place right now. I should be relishing in the concept that all is good in my home. I'm not content. I'm not settled.
Dennis & I went out for a quiet dinner tonight. I shared my feelings and fears. Wow! Where did all those tears come from?
This is my life. I'll never be able to be completely at peace. I know that now.
Sam & Ethan couldn't be any better. That is not the case for some of my friends.
Please check on my friends who have caringbridge sites: /tx/lynnnewman; /tx/madeleine; /tx/jamesf; /tx/ormondfamily.
We all have a purpose on this earth. Some believe God has that plan. Some believe we, as humans, set our own destiny and path. Regardless, too many people I know are stricken with cancer or life threatening diseases. At times, it's a really heavy burden.
My hope and prayer tonight....no more hurt, no more pain, no more fear and no more sadness.
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Saturday, November 20, 2004 9:15 AM CST
Good Morning from NY,
Thought I'd take a minute to post as Judy is out running this morning. WOW, it's been along time since I've been in the city. Nothing has changed, though. It's still one of the most exciting cities in the US. The streets are packed full of people, cars, taxis and vendors. The night life is in full force. Walking down Broadway last night was pretty incredible. Hundreds of people, all the bright lights of the theaters and the enormous billboards with all their dazzle...invigorating!!
Judy and I had a really laid back evening. We had a little wine in her apartment, then headed out. We stopped at a really cool, kind of bohemian bar called Zansibar. Dinner was not an option there as the entire place was reserved for private parties. So we took in the people watching aspect, had a drink and headed over to Broadway.
Judy knew of a fabulous chinese restaurant called so that's where we ended up. Yum! Awesome pick. We ended the evening early as we were both pooped and just enjoyed some uninterrupted girl time. I slept in and oh my gosh, did that feel good.
Quick stop back to reality: When I landed yesterday, I had 4 voice mails. One was from Ethan's teacher saying that Ethan was in the Director's office with a rash. This was weird as he didn't have one in the morning when I left. Anyway, Karla picked him up, took him to Dennis' office, then one of his nurses took Ethan to see Dr. McDonald. I spoke with the Nurse Practioner prior to Ethan's appointment and asked her to do a strep test on him. Karla had told me about another kid that had similar symptoms as Ethan (although not typical for strep) earlier in the week that had tested positive. The NP called after Ethan's appointment to say his rash was not that of strep, must be something viral (how many times have I heard that one!), but they did a test as I had requested and sure enough there was a "faint positive." Ethan was given an antibiotic. With that information, I called Sam's Oncologist and they said to just watch Sam for any symptoms. So that's actually how my trip started out! Never a dull moment.
Today, Judy and I will do a little shopping, then catch a matinee. We'll go to TKTS on Broadway and see what we can get. I love going to the theater in NY. There's just something so decadent about it. Judy has arranged for some of her coworkers to have drinks and dinner with us tonight. Should be great!
I spoke with my men this morning and everyone is fairing well. Dennis was making challah french toast for everyone and Jaffie had a day at the spa yesterday. According to Sam, "Mom!, Jaffie looks GORGEOUS!!"
Have a wonderful Saturday!
xxoo,
Dana
Thursday, November 18, 2004 9:29 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
What I haven't been able to tell you is that at the Light the Night walk, Jenny and I were invited to be the guest speakers at the Leukemia & Lymphoma's conference in Las Vegas. We were asked to keep it a surprise for the staff.
Well, we've been to Lost Wages and basically....lost wages, naturally. The conference was intended to celebrate the Corporate Partnerships, get their commitment for 2005 and beyond as well as recognizing the Light the Night and Regatta staff for their amazing accomplishments. Additionally the staff members had several days of training.
The LLS is selective in determining who will be their Corporate Sponsors. Not every company on the planet is the right fit. The Society looks for companies who will continue to support them for years to come. Long term business relationships are one of the keys to their success.
Some of the people in attendance included, Larry Mondry (President & CEO of CompUSA), Chris Pilla (Director of Burlington Coat Factory), Mike Petroff (Sr. Mgr. of Cub Foods), David Mason (Director of Mrkt Dev. for GlaxoSmithKline), Kathy Farrell (Mt Gay Rum Sponsorship Coordinator) and a real crazy and fun guy named Bryan Mitchell (CEO, MCG Capital Corp.) Bryan was responsible for my splitting headache Wednesday morning as he kept the Dom and Cristal flowing for us well into the wee morning hours. As it turns out, Larry Mondry and I live in the same subdivision and our kids go to the same school. Small world!
The event was top notch; from the lovely fruit and cheese tray with a hand written note from Greg Elfers, Sr. VP, Campaign Development to the goodie bags as we departed. I believe there were approximately 250 people in attendance.
We started with a coctail reception where only the Corporate Sponsors and a few key executives were in attendance then went into the ballroom for dinner and awards. The atmosphere was light and casual which made it really comfortable for Jenny, Andrew and I as we knew very few people. Richard (Rick) Geswell, Executive VP Revenue & Marketing led the evening with lots of enthusiasm and charisma. We were given a beautiful plaque for our participation in Light the Night. A real pleasure was meeting Lois Whitaker. Lois took on the role of coordinating the National Allie's Angels team and was also invited to attend this event and be recognized for her support.
We had the pleasure of meeting with Rick and Maria along with a few others to strategize about 12 South Angels and Allie's Angels moving forward. Jenny and I are going to "ride the wave" into 2005 and hope you'll come along for the ride.
Jenny and I gave a modified version of our speech to the Partners at breakfast yesterday morning and then the full blown speech at 12:15 to the entire staff. Andrew's brother in law, Michael, created an amazing video of Sam, Ethan and Allie which we played before we spoke. The speech was powerful and moving and hopefully made an impression on the audience. We wanted them to know how important what they are doing daily is to us. We couldn't be more impressed with this organization.
Came home late last night, gave out all the presents, crashed, woke up today, unpacked, did my normal running around and guess what???? I'm packing again! Off to a fun girls weekend in NY with Judy. Yippee!!!!
Sam had his weekly appt today and his counts are still "beautiful" as Dr. Weinthal said. Today was Fieldon's 100th day post transplant! What a cutie! Emma Day didn't come to see her boyfriend as they're trying to minimize her risk to the outside cooties. Sam was bummed.
It's 9:42pm and I haven't even started packing. I began this posting at 4:30 today. Loads of interruptions. No complaints whatsoever.
Goodnight and thank you once again LLS for an awesome time in Las Vegas!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Sunday, November 14, 2004 2:34 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
The house is quiet, I'll give it my best shot! I'm going to take a few steps back and tell you more about the last several days.
Wow! What a tremendous week our family has had. Dennis and I had the most romantic and wonderful time in Mexico. Some have requested pictures, we didn't even take a camera, sorry. But the memories will hopefully be implanted in my mind for a long time.
Coming home to our guys was the icing on the cake. They were thrilled to see us and greeted us with such sincere enthusiasm. Sam is looking so good. Ethan is incredibly beautiful. Man, did Dennis & I bonus out when we made these kids. Our lives our so incredibly full of joy and gratefulness. We are a family for today and that's all we can ask for.
Bare with me as I recall the kids Shabbat day. I'm not sure I gave you the detailed picture. I took Ethan to school on Friday morning and Dennis, Elvia and Sam came a little later. The service started, and Ethan was up on stage with his classmates. Everyone was so adorable. The children covered their eyes and sang the prayers over the candles, wine and challah. Then it was time for their song which they've been practicing for weeks. Here goes, but excuse any hebrew mispellings: "Baruch Atah Adonai, thank you God. Thank you for my Mommy and thank you for our Dad, they love me when I'm happy, they love me when I'm sad. Baruch Atah Adonai, thank you God. Thank you for the candles and thank you for the wine, thank you for the challah it always tastes so fine. Baruch Ata Adonai, thank you God." They had little hand gestures to go along with the song as well. We've been practicing the song for a while, so Sam knew the words and sang along. It made us feel like a complete family. I can't find the right words to explain how special this day was for us. It was then time for the birthday kids to go up on stage which I mentioned in last night's post, I think. I swear we were so consumed with our little family, that I don't even remember who was up on the bima with us. That's pretty pathetic, I guess. Oh well, I guess we all have to be a little narcisistic at times, huh? Can I just tell you how incredibly gorgeous my little 4 year olds were! They had blue pants on with a white tshirt under a denim button down. They looked like they should be going to church, I joked a few times. We did take some pics and we will post those this week.
Elvia took Ethan home and Dennia & I took Sam to his doc appt. Friday, we saw Dr. Weinthal who spent so much time with us. We've said it a hundred times before, but we are so blessed to have these 3 men in our lives. They are truly a remarkable and unique team. Sam is doing so well, physically and molecularly. It's hard to realize that this is a life long disease; Leukemia. The radiation, which we'll never really know was of benefit but was recommended, comes with some horrible long term side effects. Living day to day with Sam, you put those ideas way back, in a far away place in your head. Dr. W brought them back to forefront the longer we spent with him. Cataracts, sterility, growth issues and thryoid issues just to name a few. Relapse. Relapse. Relapse. Hard to even think about, yet a potential reality. Sam has approximately a 70hance of long term survival. The 30ends itself towards relapse, secondary cancer or fatal infection. All very real possibilities. Dennis and I left feeling pretty deflated. It just really reminded us...never let your guard down. Relish each and every minute you have together. Savor the moments and memories. Cherish health.
A parent's love for their child is physical. It's also emotional and spiritual. Protecting our children is innate. Sometimes I just get so indignant and think, "How Dare you try and hurt my child. I'll kill you before you get a second chance at killing my son." I wish cancer was a physical entity so I could follow through with my thoughts. Since that will never be the case, I can only do the best I can do through fundraising in an effort to eradicate the beast. Not a day goes by that I don't think, "Sam is in remission today, I wonder what tomorrow holds?"
Hold "them" longer the next time you give a hug. Smell "them". Kiss "their" soft tummy. Caress "their" little face. The love I feel for my children is stronger than I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams.
Be Grateful!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Saturday, November 13, 2004 5:53 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
This will be short as naturally, whenever I even contemplate doing my post, the kids "smell" my thoughts and come running.
I don't remember exactly when it happened, but it was shortly after Sam was diagnosed, that my sense for being on time was stolen by aliens out of my body. It's true, no matter how hard I try, I am simply always 15 minutes late to each and every single place I ever go. I try and I try, but to no avail. I've always prided myself on being a conscientious person, respecting other's and their time constrainsts, yet now I'm just always late. It's like a weird force pulling my car, making it move slower than all around me, so I can once again, apologize for making someone wait on me. Odd????
Yesterday was a dream come true. No longer do we take for granted the little things. Seeing Sam & Ethan together on the stage was a priceless moment. Sam didn't want to be held, he wanted to be side by side with Ethan. As the crowd sang Happy Birthday to the kids, Sam and Ethan touched arms. At one point, Ethan put his arm around Sam and said, "Tham, you're my best friend." These are the moments that make all the difficult times melt away. Thank you Solomon Schechter for making our Friday Shabbat one of the most memorable of all times. Sam's class gave him a goodie bag, complimented with a video happy birthday! We haven't had a chance to watch it, but tomorrow we will.
By the way, I forgot to mention that the "Friends of Allie" group did a full blown birthday card extravaganza for the kids and on Saturday, we received a large envelope filled to the brink with cards from all over the country. What a cool and special idea! Thanks so much girls!
I have to run, but promise to write a more detailed post tomorrow when hopefully, Dennis will take the kids to his parents for a visit....hint, hint, honey!
Have a great Saturday night!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Thursday, November 11, 2004 9:15 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
We’re on the plane heading home after spending 5 of the most glorious days in Mexico. Jenny and I used to often speak about Xanadu while living at the hospital. What would it look like? How would it feel? I now have the answers, it’s called Ikal Del Mar, 40 miles outside of Cancun.
The villas were just so beautiful. The beds all dressed with lovely white linens while sheets hang from the ceiling to form a net around the bed. The patio with its spacious chaise lounge for two, the ample private pool, the hammock and need I not forget, the outdoor shower. We never once showered inside. It was the most romantic paradise we’ve experienced. Dennis & I have a knack for finding remote, secluded places but this one topped them all.
We’re both so relaxed and are looking forward to touching ground and racing home. We’ve spoken with the kids once or twice daily and they have done just great. Ethan didn’t have school yesterday, so he went with Reid, Ryan and Josh to the Ft. Worth Zoo. I’m 41 and have lived in Dallas my entire life and have never even been there. I’ve always heard it puts the Dallas Zoo to shame.
Sam has been the “man of the house” as we expected. He pretty much told Ethan what to do, Elvia when she was allowed to leave, Cameron what to make the family for dinner and Sharon which meds he needed and when. He told us everyday, how many more days he was going to sleep with Sharon.
During one conversation, we had forgotten to call home prior to leaving for dinner at Maroma and had to use their phone. Sharon and Cameron had literally just gotten two very tired little boys into bed when our call came through. Sam & Ethan were both hysterically crying and crying. I’m sure Sharon was just thrilled with our timing. Sam yelled at me in no uncertain terms, “Here’s the deal, COME HOME NOW!!!!”
The next several times we spoke, both kids were in great moods. We’re so grateful to Sharon and Cameron for enabling Dennis & I to share some much needed time together. We were able to reflect on the last several months while reconnecting our minds and souls.
As I mentioned before, I was led to a book, My Sister’s Keeper, by a Sam & Allie follower. The author, Jodi Picoult, learned about our children and wrote in our guest books. While this book is fictitious, it’s story is being played out all over the world, I believe. It’s a story about a girl with Leukemia whose parents decide to genetically match an embryo in order to provide a perfect cord blood match to the first daughter. This story was so powerful to me. I read some of the excerpts to Dennis as we lived so many details that this story told. The second daughter went through quite a lot in order to keep her sister alive; blood tests, white cell boosting drugs, bone marrow harvest and the list goes on. It’s only up until the first daughter needs a major organ donation that the book gets controversial to me. Dennis & I know people right now who are going through this very concept. As a matter of fact Jenny & Andrew discussed the possibility of having another child in order to potentially save Allie; time was not on their side, however.
Dennis & I spoke at great length about this issue. Knowing that we have no desire to have another baby, would we given the situation had Ethan not been a perfect match for Sam? The answer, YES! While some may feel this is unethical or not moral, we would do anything and everything within our power to save Sam. So to my friends who are going through this or are considering it....you have our utmost support and admiration.
We’ll be landing soon, so I’ll close with something positive and upbeat. Tomorrow, Ethan’s class will be up on the bima conducting Shabbat. They will sing a darling little song which they’ve been practicing for weeks. After that, the kids who are having a birthday or have had one that week will be invited up so the entire preschool can sing Happy Birthday. Sam will be there. Have I cleared this with the doctors? No. I mentioned it a few weeks ago, but let it rest. After speaking with Dr. L last week, and discussing the risk/reward concept, I feel like I can make a few decisions on my own now.
I can’t wait to see Sam & Ethan together up on that stage. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Monday, November 8, 2004 2:37 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
Greetings from Ikal Del Mar, located 40 miles outside of Cancun, Mexico. Dennis and I have traveled all over the United States, Europe and Israel and we have never seen a more spectacular resort such as this. There are 29 villas with 1 Presidential Suite. Each villa has its own pool. The roofs were created by Mayans and are beautifully thatched. For those who know how much I love Maroma, this is by more exquisite. It is set completely in the jungle similar to Maroma, however, the brush is so high and thick you virtually have no concept of where you are. We´ve been lost pretty much each time we leave our villa. Thankfully, the staff is used to this and can always direct you where you need to go. The Spa is world class. Dennis & I are having a couples massage at 6pm in the most lovely room in the spa. It is indoors with elements of the outside jungle. We´ll enjoy our massages by candlelight.
Gary & Angela....this puts Punta Mita to shame. Book it now!!!!!!!!!!
The kids are doing great as of last night when we spoke with them. On Saturday, we had a very small birthday party for them and invited just 2 kids....one for Sam and one for Ethan. We are trying really hard to abide by the ¨rules¨set by our docs. The Smith´s came through with a really cool race car set...one for each and each one differently. That kept them pretty much occupied all evening on Saturday and most of Sunday morning as well. They are working really hard at sharing and doing a fairly good job of it, I´m proud to say.
I´m using the resort computer to do this posting, so I´ll keep it short. Today, I can say that life doesn´t get any better than this. I pray it lasts.
All our love from the Yucatan Peninsula,
Dana & Dennis
Thursday, November 4, 2004 10:22 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
Today, Sam is 100 days post transplant!!!!! This is a small milestone, but nonetheless, a milestone. Not too long ago (as I’ve mentioned before), transplant patients stayed in the hospital for the first 100 days. I’m so grateful that concept has evolved. Life at home is as sweet as it possibly gets.
My 6 wk premature little tiny babies; 4lbs 8oz and 4lbs 13oz, will be 4 years old in 3 days. Today, they weigh 70lbs cumulatively, with a little more than half of that being on Sam’s side, naturally. His face is really starting to reduce. His cheeks are still very much chip-munky, but his chin and neck have definitely gone down. I can see Sam again. Those who have experienced steroids, can understand what I’m trying to say. For a couple of weeks, Sam looked a little like Porky the Pig. Now, I can see my baby again. He’s not distorted, just a little “puffy.”
Sam had another great clinic visit today with awesome lab results. My day was literally spent “RUNNING!” I was pretty much late to each and every appointment or commitment I had scheduled. There’s no question, I overbooked myself today. No complaints though as the day was quite productive. I had promised Sam to make a quick stop on 12 South. It has been several weeks since we’ve been there and the nurses just couldn’t believe how Sam’s appearance had changed. They all washed up and came running out to hug him and get caught up. We spent, literally, 30 seconds with Annie. We had hoped to see Emma Day but our times crossed.
A huge special thank you to Aron (the nurse/fireman), that you all remember, as he had a delightful cookie bouquet for Sam. Three cookies celebrating his 100th day post transplant all in a fireman motif. Too cute and very delicious! Before we left clinic, we shared a piece of cookie with Dr. Weinthal. It was good to see Dr. Lenarsky today. He’s so calm and always turns my questions back on me. That’s okay, because together we are making the right decisions for Sam’s immediate future. If anyone from TOPA is reading this, please let the 3 musketeers know that we appreciate, respect and admire them more than we could ever verbalize.
A woman from Make A Wish named Roz came by this afternoon to show me the story that had been written about Sam and his wish. I couldn’t have written it any better myself. It came complete with 2 great pictures and will be sent to the sponsors of Sam’s wish. We were able to select the child we would like to sponsor as a result of our donation to this foundation. It happens to be a 4 yr old from Dallas who has also wished for an outdoor play set. How perfect!
I was recently made aware of an interesting novel by author, Jodi Picoult, called My Sister’s Keeper. Jodi is a New York Times Bestseller Author and has written this story about 2 sister’s, one of which has Leukemia. It was introduced to me by one of the many “Friends of Allie” and I will start it on vacation, Sunday. The coolest thing is that Jodi signed Sam’s guest book tonight. Jodi, if you’re reading this, thank you for taking the time to sign our guest book and learn about Sam’s story. It meant a lot to us!
It’s 10:19pm and Sam is awake. I’ll close for now thanking all of the many volunteers who helped at the LLS this week. Thank you for sharing our passion and commitment towards this organization. The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society is the ONLY organization which funds research for blood related cancers and diseases.
Happy Friday and have a wonderful weekend!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Tuesday, November 2, 2004 2:45 PM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
I’m sitting in the Physician’s Lounge at Medical Center of Plano waiting while Cameron observes a C-Section. How cool is that? Dennis arranged with his patient for Cameron to be present in the OR. I’m so excited for her. Dennis is also hoping to get Alex in there in the next couple of weeks. He’s trying to get these kids interested in medicine as a potential career. She just went in, wearing scrubs, mask, cap and shoe covers. I can’t believe I forgot the camera. Oh well.
Sam and Ethan had a blast on Halloween. We left our house early to avoid the “herds” of kids. Sam & Ethan went up to the houses that didn’t have smoke coming out of the machines or anything ultra scary, rang the doorbell (usually continually) then said the obligatory, “Trick or Treat!” They also said, “Happy Halloween and See you next year!” This was our best year yet. They’ve been a little leery of the whole event up until this year. Age matters. Sam was finished about an hour later when he determined handing out the candy would be more fun than collecting it. So we headed home to greet all the kids. Once Sam got the hang of it, he wouldn’t allow any of us even in the general vicinity of the front door. We were ordered to stay in the family room while he ran to greet the trick or treaters each time the doorbell rang. He opened our huge heavy door, handed out one piece of candy to each kid (he’s so anal) and wished them a Happy Halloween. I was really proud of him and it actually allowed me some “Ethan time” which we both really needed.
Yesterday was a normal hectic Monday. Ethan has had the sniffles so he’s been home for the past 2 days. I can’t take any chances as we’re trying to leave on Sunday. Sam actually has a bit of the sniffles as well, so I called the nurse to make sure he could have some over the counter symptom relief. We have to call for every single medicine we want to give him to make sure it doesn’t effect any of his regular meds, etc.
I’ve started typing all my notes for Sharon (Jenny’s mom) who will be staying with the boys in the evenings. I guess I know where Sam gets his “anal” characteristics, huh? I’m getting a little anxious about leaving now. This is very typical of me as I experience this each and every time we take a trip since the kids were born. I took inventory of all the meds and will replenish anything we’re running low on. Elvia did a Sam’s run today to stock up on anything we’ll need. I stock the refrigerator on Friday and we’ll celebrate the kids birthday on Saturday with just a very few people in attendance. Our biggest request this year is....NO PRESENTS!!!! I have 2 closets overflowing with all the wonderful things that have been sent to our boys. Donations to the LLS in Sam & Ethan’s name is much more important to us.
Thank you in advance to Harris Polakoff with Pogos Liquor and Wendy Krispin of Wendy Krispin Catering for continuing to support our passion for finding a cure for Leukemia and other related blood diseases. We will be hosting a fundraising event at our house in December and appreciate all that you continue to do for our family. We love you both!
That’s the news for the day.
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Sunday, October 31, 2004 11:17 AM CST
Dear Friends & Family,
FINALLY!!!! I'm alone and can type. Dennis took Sam and Ethan to his parents house and the older kids are in another part of the house fighting, which they've been doing all morning.
Check out the new pics which again, FINALLY!!!!!, Dennis put on the website. There are 4 new ones so be sure and check the photo tab. Aren't those chairs adorable? A friend of mine in Dallas made them especialy for Sam and Ethan. He makes them in all sizes; from scaled down models for doll houses to adult sizes. If you're interested in having him make one for you, send me an email to: danaeisenberg@yahoo.com and I'll put you in touch with him.
The LLS needs volunteers to help enter checks into their accounting system. If you have any time available this week on Tuesday, Wednesday and/or Thursday from 5p-8p, please contact: haysa@lls.org. They need 10 people each day. The sooner all the money is accounted for, the faster we can post the results!
WOW!!!!! What an incredible weekend we've all had. Sam was FINALLY!!!!! (I'm really into that today for some reason) given the green light for one friend to come and play in the backyard. Friday, he had Emma Day over. They were so adorable together. They have such a little crush on each other, it just makes you smile. Yesterday, was like grand central station around here. Beginning at 10am with one of Alex's tutors, then someone to look at a car we are selling, then a playdate for Sam (his buddy Max), then Ethan went with Max for the remainder of the day, then the another tutor, then Cameron's friend, then Cam & Alex's mom. But I loved every last minute of the chaos. It's fun having lots of kids around, but obviously hectic as well.
Today is nice and quiet. Ahhhhhh. Delightful. The kids are getting really excited about Halloween tonight. As a matter of fact, the first words out of Sam's mouth this morning were about Halloween. Hopefully, the weather will hold out and we won't have a torrential down pour. I'm not quite sure logistically how Sam will trick or treat, but somehow he will. At least a few houses anyway. We just can't let him get close to any other kids and in our neighborhood, that will be an interesting challenge as we have tons of kiddos.
Sam and Ethan turn 4 next Sunday. I've been reflecting quite a bit lately about the day Sam was diagnosed and before. Just writing this, the tears fill my eyes. I can't believe how much we've all been through this year. What my baby has had to endure. What my other baby has had to endure with the absence of his mom. Meeting and falling in love with the entire Scott/Lawson clan and to watch Allie die right in front of my eyes. My heart was broken that night in a way I can't explain. And now thinking back over the last 6 months, I am grateful down to my soul that we're still together. There are some days that I walk around with an uneasiness; a sense of fear and anxiety. Will Sam relapse? Will Sam die? Most days I don't go there, but I would be lying if I said I'm not scared. I cherish every single day I have with all of my men. Every single day, there is laughter in my house. Every single day, Dennis & I smile at each other as we notice something sweet Sam & Ethan are doing. Even Jaffie smiles (ok, that's pretty weird!) I also want to say that I'm no June Cleaver. I get frustrated and raise my voice, ok I yell, I can't sugar coat that one, huh Cam & Alex? I'm so damn lucky I have my family.
Dennis and I will begin preparing for our trip. That's a lie, I'LL begin preparing for our trip. Sharon gets back from Canada today and this week she'll come over for her crash course in twins. I wonder what it will be like not sleeping with Sam? The truth is.....I know I'm going to miss it. I'm so used to sleeping with him, I'll probably have withdrawals. He told me the other night not to worry, because he would be sleeping with Sharon. See how easy he's able to replace me? :)
I think that's about it. Have a beautiful Sunday!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Thursday, October 28, 2004 3:55 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
I have to chuckle a little as I started this posting at 3:55, got the salutation written, and now it's 6:26 and I'm just typing the first sentence.
Sam had his marathon doc appt this morning, 3 hours! His counts are perfect: white's are 10.3, hemaglobin, 13 (I think) and platelets over 300k. He woke up this morning and displayed some weakness in his right foot. He limped a little today which always freaks me out, but I was assured it's probably just the cumulative effect of the steroids. He has a bit of a rash on his arms and back, but "grumpy" Dr. Goldman said it looked like hair follicles and not to worry. I laugh while giving Dr. G that title because this man happens to be the happiest, most jovial man around. It just so happens that HE"S on steroids for a bad case of poison ivy. I think it's good doctors (on occasion) take meds our little children are ordered to take. See how much fun it is Dr. G?
We had a little surprise visit today in the clinic by Emma Day! Oh my God, Sam was so excited. We had brought a couple of cookies for her and she brought Sam some stickers, suckers and a really cool flashlight like you wear in a cave on your head. Naturally, Sam opted out of wearing it on his head, but he's had fun with it all day. Before leaving, we were FINALLY given the green light to let Sam have one healthy kid over to play outside! Two seconds later, Emma Day was invited and Sam is so excited about our play date tomorrow morning. Sam is 93 days post transplant. Has it really been 93 days? It doesn't feel that long at all. Time flies, huh?
I made a big "uh oh!" on Ethan's Shabbat service and fortunately some of our teachers at Schechter read this journal and were able to correct me. Ethan's class goes on the 12th not the 5th. Fortunately, we will have just returned home from Mexico and Dennis already had the 12th booked out with the exception of a C-Section early in the morning, so we'll both be able to be there. We'll do Ethan's cake after even though it will be a few days late. I'm still gonna try and get Sam up on the Bima for a quick Happy Birthday song (with mask, of course.)
We had the best time at Roy's last night with the Tonge's. The food was delicious as always and the conversation lots of fun, including the political discussion. We ran into Dr. Sam Chantillis, my fertility doc that helped "create" Sam and Ethan. He and Dennis knew each other from training. He wasn't aware of Sam's situation and was totally shocked. He runs the fertility lab at Presby Dallas and he said they are trying to get their HLA section up and running. We also ran into Dr. Ken Trimmer. Ken is a Perinatologist and one of his partners did my Amnios. Yes that word was pluralized as I had two sacks; each requiring a test. Oh Yeah, that was fun. Ken has been amazing throughout Sam's disease. He's stayed in touch and even brought food to the hospital.
I have to make this a short one as we have dinner with my brother and his company, Morgan Stanley tonight. Hope your day was as great as ours.
Love,
Dana & Family
Wednesday, October 27, 2004 8:25 AM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
I think I'm finally coming down from the high of Saturday night. WOW! What an incredible evening. I have a request to anyone who attended and took digital pics, please send me what you have. Jenny and I are putting something special together. Please send them to: danaeisenberg@yahoo.com.
For those wondering, Jenny and Andrew are doing really well. This week, Jenny is only subbing once and working at the Society the other days. Actually, her first day "on payroll" at the Society was yesterday. She said it was a little hectic at first, but as typical Jenny....she just jumped right in and figured it out. She's working on the school programs with Larissa (Taylor's mom). How appropriate!
Yesterday, Jack (friend in the neighborhood) had a Halloween Party. Sam naturally couldn't attend, however, that didn't deter him from wearing his costume and walking Ethan down the street. So picture this....4:30 in the afternoon and two little dinosaurs walking down the street, one pushing a stroller in case his legs got too tired. It was so adorable! Ethan's head is a little small for the dinosaur hood, so he could barely see and kept tripping. On our way back home I asked Sam if he was ok with not being able to attend. He said he was fine and that he got to spend more time with me. Ethan brought home cupcakes for everyone and a special goodie bag for Sam. It was a good day!
Ethan doesn't have school today due to parent/teacher conferences, so it's going to be an easy, stress-free day. Yippee! Ethan will get a haircut today and Sam has requested some Halloween cookies from Celebrity Bakery. That sounds pretty reasonable.
Sam's steroid dosage continues to be decreased weakly thus his appetite and emotions are beginning to be more in tact. I think he's actually lost a little bit of the "puff" in his face. Alex noticed it as well. He still weighs a ton which makes it difficult to pick him up. Most of the time if he needs nurturing, I sit on the floor and hold him in my lap. I'm trying to salvage my tired old osteopenia hips!
Good think I haven't started Weight Watchers yet as we have 3 outings this week. Roy's with the Tonge's, Rick Stein's with Morgan Stanley & my brother and finally Iris with the Lelah's. We're so looking forward to spending time with the Tonge's and Lelah's as it's been such a long time.
Cameron loaded some software for the kids on her computer and they are getting the hang of it really quickly. I think Ethan has mastered the mouse already. I bought this software months ago so I'm really excited they're into it. Some of it is educational and some just plain fun. This will come in handy with the upcoming cold months when the kids can't play outside.
Sam has a long doc appointment tomorrow as he gets his monthly, IVIG infusion. We'll get there at 9:30 and leave around 12:00 or 12:30. I'm not sure how many of these he'll need. It's his only immune booster currently. Next Friday at school is a biggie. Ethan's class will be up on the bema doing the Shabbat service as well as singing (or should I say screaming) their little song. Additionally, it's Sam and Ethan's birthday week, so they'll be invited up for the entire preschool to sing happy birthday in English and Hebrew to them. I'm going to have Elvia waiting outside until the final second then I'll bring Sam in for the happy birthday part, wearing a mask, of course. This will be his first time back in the school since April. I know this is going to be really emotional for Dennis & I. I just want him to experience this so bad. I'll clear it with the docs tomorrow....keep your fingers crossed! After Shabbat service, Ethan will have a birthday party with cake in his classroom. What a day it will be! What a day!
The kids are throwing things from the balcony so I better close for now. Have a wonderful Wednesday (hump day)!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Monday, October 25, 2004 9:34 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
Remember not too long ago when I mentioned that my friend in Florida, Nancy, has triplets with one having AML? Remember, I wrote that she was working on some pretty interesting research? Check out her son, Jarod's, website to get the details as they are now public. www.caringbridge.org/fl/jarod.
Way to go Nancy.....you rock, babe!
This posting will be short as I'm just plain tired. We're off for a much needed vacation in 13 days, but who's counting! I'm think I"m still reeling from Saturday night. I've thought about the event off and on for 48 hours and find myself smiling when I think about how elated Sam and Ethan were. Today, Sam mentioned how fun Light the Night will be next year. I love my family so much. I don't think my life could get much better than it is right now.
Today was Grandparents and Special Friends Day at Ethan's school. Dennis' parents are 85 and his mom is in a wheelchair so I didn't push them for a commitment. Instead, I asked Jenny about a week ago if she would be interested in being Ethan's Special Friend. I told her to think about it as I wasn't sure how difficult it would be for her emotionally. She said, "YES!" without even thinking twice about it at the time. I insisted that she discuss it with Andrew and let me know. She and Andrew were there before Ethan and I even arrived. When Ethan saw them he went enthusiastically running towards them and immediately fell down in the wet grass. He just kind of layed there on his belly looking up at them until I helped him up. He told Jenny & Andrew that he almost got wet. Really? He looked pretty wet to me. Anyway, Jenny was recognized by many at our school. Many people just wanted to give her a hug and let them know how much she has touched them with her words. I can't think of a better "Special Friend" for either of my kids than Jenny and Andrew. Thank you so much for performing this mitzvah, Ethan has been talking about you all day.
I had such a productive day. My personal email as well as my Yahoo account is completely empty for the first time in 6 months. Huge relief for me as I'm such an anal organized clean freak! I'm hoping I've responded to most of the many emails I've received and if you didn't hear from me, please understand I did the best I could do given my time restraints.
What else can I tell you? I already miss Aunt Shoe as she returned to Laguna yesterday. I wish she lived here, but I know she's glad she doesn't! I missed my cousin Jill at the walk. She is so inspirational and always so postive and upbeat. She is facing a life threatening disease and is approaching it with magnificent grace and dignity. I love you both so very much.
And lastly, I want to express my heartfelt thanks for the many beautiful guestbook entries I've read in the past couple of days. Wow, so much energy in your words! You have bestowed on me your admiration which humbles me. I gain so much strength from all of your words as well. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sleep well!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Sunday, October 24, 2004 8:40 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
I'm finally alone and able to get my thoughts together. It's been quite a weekend.
Events like last night's, Light the Night, will remain engrained in my mind and my memory for a lifetime. How can I possibly find the words to describe the evening? So much about last night was incredibly special to me.
I'm having difficulty writing this for some reason. I've typed and retyped several times now. My heart was so full of excitement upon arriving at the event. For that matter, we had ALL been so excited for a few days prior to the event. Just to see first hand the amount of work it takes to put on Light the Night was impressive enough, but then to drive up and see so many people beginning to arrive just filled our hearts with such incredible joy. I wish so badly you could hear my words tonight and not just read them. Sometimes messages are lost in email. I'll do my best to explain how Dennis & I felt about last night.
We brought Ethan, Cam & Alex to the walk site at about 5:20pm. We parked and began walking towards all the activity. There were lots of people who had already arrived so the energy was definitely building. We walked towards our tent and immediately saw several people we knew. I think one of the best ways I can think to explain where we were mentally at this point was simply; humbled. So many people were there to support our team as well as so many other teams. What a night!
We hung out a lot at our tent as it was the best place to meet all who had registered to be on our team. You cannot even imagine the incredible number of people (and dogs) who wore our 12 South T-Shirts and hats. They were EVERYWHERE! God, it just fills my heart immeasurably.
Ethan had the best time as well. His best friend, Max, arrived shortly after we did and they hooked up immediately. They went in the bounce house, checked out Daisy the cow, passed on the face painting and had a few rude remarks for the clown and generally just had fun.
Dennis & I felt so blessed that so many of our friends were on hand to participate in this event with us. We saw people we hadn't seen in such a long time and those we had seen as recent as last week. Our support system is something that is inexplicable. What I can say is that we would be in such a different place had it not been for our support system. I really hope you're as proud of yourselves as we are of you. You've enriched our lives. You've taken away a lot of fear on SO many levels. Quite simply, you held us up when we could have so easily crumbled. We love each and everyone of you.
At approximately 6:30pm, it was time for announcements and speeches. The crowd gathered around the stage. It wasn't until I was up on the stage that I could really get a feeling for the number of people who were in attendance. Oh My God! What a sight. One of the most beautiful I've ever seen, actually. I haven't heard the final on the headcount but I would venture to say possibly 3000 people were in attendance. Depending upon who you talk to, that number goes as high as 4500. Once I speak with the society this week, I'll post accurate numbers. 12 South Angels had over 420 people pre-registered. I don't know what that final tally was either, but I can tell you there were a lot of our t-shirts running around last night. I'll confirm the final dollar amounts as well, but what I heard was this; $125,000 for our team, $250,000 overall for the entire walk. Typically, a walk will bring in around $120,000. What I do know 100 ....we kicked butt and I can't wait to see what we can do in 12 months time.
Jenny gave a beautiful speech discussing the importance of blood and platelet donations. She gave the most beautiful "thanks" to her beloved, Andrew and also surprised me with some really special words of love. Jenny speaks from her heart and always moves people to tears, last night was no different. I saw many people crying while listening to her words. Jenny, I thank God we were brought into each other's life during this horrific time. I pray anyone going through cancer with a child has a "sister soul mate" like you.
Dr. Goldman was on hand to share some information about Leukemia & Lymphoma research. He says he doesn't really like speaking in public, but always does a great job. I'm so proud to say he's one of Sam's docs. We really lucked out with these three; Lenarsky, Weinthal and Goldman. I've never met doctors who care about their patients the way they do, with the exception of Dr. Hampe. These men would move heaven and earth to make a kid feel more comfortable; both emotionally and physically and would never leave any stone unturned. And what makes their relationship extra special is that they're all best friends outside the office. This is pretty much unheard of. I love you guys!
After the speeches were complete, it was time to start the walk. We had a few snags with how Sam was going to participate. The police car was on, then it was off. On again then off again. At the final minute (literally), BJ a LLS board member had a gold cart available and offered to escort us. I asked Dr. Goldman if it would be ok, and that Sam could wear a mask and he gave his approval. I think he said it would be our secret and not to tell Carl (Lenarsky!) Dennis and I grabbed the kids and planted ourselves on the back of the golfcart facing the crowd. Sam on my lap and Ethan on Dennis'.
I haven't seen or felt that kind of enthusiasm from Sam since before he was diagnosed. He was just elated to get to be a part of Light the Night and especially coming straight from a really cool golf cart with mom and dad. He yelled hello to Annie and Emma Day right from the beginning as well as Dr. Goldman. Once the walk began, he basically yelled for Jenny the entire time. She was close and in ear shot, so they yelled back and forth.
My son was happy. My son was full of life. My son's heart was full of joy. My son was happy. My son was happy. He deserves this happiness more than any of us in my biased mind. My little baby who has been through so many rounds of chemo, mouth sores, pain, scary tests, total body irradiation, bone marrow transplant, gvhd of gut and more than I care to remember was so happy. Dennis and I were just so proud. Proud of Sam. Proud of Ethan. Proud to be their parents. Proud of so many people who cared enough to follow our story. Proud of so many people who gave up their Saturday night to walk with us. Proud of so many people and their generosity. Just simply PROUD!
Jenny reminded us all that this is about so much more than Sam & Allie. There are hundreds and hundreds of people stricken with Leukemia and Lymphoma and our kids were just fortunate enough to have a tremendous following. Dennis and I will continue to raise money for the LLS for the rest of our lives. There's no question, it's our calling and our responsibility. I hope I live long enough to see a cure in my lifetime. But if not, I know it's out there.
Let me digress for just a minute as I forgot to mention that Jason Vincik surprised Jenny & I with the first "Taylor Brewton Award." Taylor lost her fight with AML at 4 years of age and her mom, Larissa, is very active with the society. This award will be given annually to those persons who have made a difference (above and beyond) within the Society. Jason has our plaques so I might have made a few mistakes on some of this info. If so, then I'll correct it this week. Regardless, it was an incredible honor to be the first recipient of such recognition.
Onto other news.....
Today was packed full! Got up, fed the kids, got the kids dressed (or actually Cameron did), went to Central Market with Judy, put the brisket in the oven, Sue came over for a quick visit, got the kids lunch (or actually Cameron did), Colette, one of our wish granters from Make a Wish, came for a visit, ran to Petco with Dennis, took Ethan to the zoo at 3pm with the Smiths and Jenny's family to meet the giraffe that had been adopted in Allie's name, came home got everyone fed, cleaned the dishes, did a load of laundry, bathed both kids separately, got them ready for bed, blow dryed and ironed Cameron's hair and now I'm writing this journal entry. Please God, let the kids fall asleep in their own bed so I can watch some adult tv tonight.
I want to conclude this novel by telling Cameron how much I love her and appreciate all that she does each and everyday for me. The kids adore you and so do I. Thank you both, Cameron and Alex, for offering to help set up Light the Night without any prompting from me. You guys are the greatest little sister and brother a 41 year old, tired woman can have! I love you both so much!
That's it!
Goodnight!
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Thursday, October 21, 2004 8:12 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
Yesterday is a blur, so I'll start with today.
Got the kids up, fed, dressed, I showered and dressed, gave Sam his meds and Ethan, Jaffie and I were off. Dropped Ethan off in carpool line, turned around and dropped Jaffie off at the "spa" and headed towards Medical City for my quarterly Oncologist appointment. Had blood drawn and saw Dr. Savin; in and out within 30 minutes, an all time record, then went to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. My day was clear at this point so I planned on volunteering at the Society.
I HAD SUCH A TOTAL BLAST!!!!!!
I haven't "worked" in nearly 4 years. Could that possibly be right? Gosh, I think it's actually been that long. I feel like I jumped right in. Today was a "bank day" where people were incented to turn in their money early for the walks this weekend; Plano and Dallas. That place was hopping! Kayla joined me and we did our best to get the people in and out in a timely manner. Jonny, Stacey and Jason were on hand to go through their "spiel" and Kayla and I assisted in getting their t-shirts, hats, pins, bracelets and sweatshirts bagged and ready to go. Sounds pretty simply and it was, just really hectic when 6 or more people were waiting. Depending upon how much money was individually raised would determine what they would receive. In our few minutes of down time, we put batteries in the lights for the balloons.
These people who work for the Society work their tails off. You can't imagine what goes into putting on just one of these walks, let alone as many as they are responsible for. I respect what they do each and everyday. They work really long hours and sometimes 7 days a week; night and day. I'm proud to be a small part of what they are achieving.
Our total for 12 South Angels will blow you away, but I don't have the exact total so I'll have to defer until tomorrows post. Sorry!
I was really excited to see so many people I know today at the Society as well as meet many people for the first time. This Plano walk is going to be AWESOME and the people participating are all so excited! I just can't wait!
One thing I learned today was that the Bone Marrow Registry people will be on hand Saturday night. Just filling out a simple form and having a finger stick gets you into the National Registry. Please consider doing this Saturday night; you could save a life as we all know.
Remember, the activities start at 5pm. Food and beverages will be provided for free along with lots of fun activities for the kids; clowns, face painters, bounce houses and more! Plan on meeting under our tent by 6:30pm to receive your balloons and to listen to announcements. The walk starts on or around 7pm and only lasts a short while. Strollers are naturally encouraged.
Sam had a great doc appt yesterday. He was as charming as ever! His counts were "perfect" according to Dr. Lenarsky. Sam brought the docs a box of Celebrity Bakery cookies as well as 12 South pins for all and everyone seemed to be excited. Oh, there was one little bit of excitement yesterday. When Sam woke up yesterday morning and went pee in the potty, the loop in his lines fell out and therefore, one of his central lines plunked in the potty.....the potty full of pee. I heard it and was already half way out of the bed, when Sam said, "Mom, I need your help!" I told Dennis about the incident and after I scraped him off the bathroom floor and revived him he went into action. "Get me some alcohol wipes, get me some hepron syringes!" He was truly freaking out! Fortunately, when I told Heidi yesterday she remained perfectly calm and just cleaned everything extra good.
That's about the news for the day. All 4 kids are awake, the little ones in the playroom and the older ones doing homework. Dennis and I are enjoying some very very very rare time alone in our room; although our doors are open and we can hear all chaos taking place upstairs.
Sleep well, until tomorrow.
xxoo,
Dana & Family
Tuesday, October 19, 2004 1:54 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
Four days and counting until Light the Night. We're all getting so excited! I call Jason at the Society a couple of times each day to get the latest tally as he's able to give the "whole picture" and I'm only able to access a portion. We're currently at $88,305.27 as of this posting and 441 people have signed up to walk with us. WE WILL RAISE $100,000 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!!
Here is some current information:
* Bank Days are Wednesday & Thursday from 9am-7pm. There are still shirts and hats available so avoid the long lines at the event and turn in your money early.
* If you show up at the walk and have not registered or have not given me your money to turn in, you can still participate. You will be asked to make a $25 donation for adults and $10 donation for kids.
* Everyone who has made a donation, will be issued a bracelet at the event. The bracelet enables you to partake of food, beverages, and kids events such as bounce house. Don't worry too much about the bracelets as the Society people will be on hand to coordinate.
* Parking: Society people in orange vests will be located at several entrances into the mall and will direct you on where to park. Handicapped persons or persons undergoing treatment will be directed to VIP parking.
* The event will take place outside of Foley's at The Shops of Willowbend. The walk takes place rain or shine; check the weather and bring umbrellas and ponchos if necessary. If it is raining, the activities and food will be moved to the covered garage parking outside of Foleys.
* We will have a large tent set up for our team. We will have chips, salsa and guacamole provided by Mission Foods and cookies provided by Panini as well as other fun stuff. We will meet under or around our tent prior to the walk at approximately at 6:30 in order for you to receive your balloon.
I guess that's the latest update on the walk news! We have taken all of your suggestions, and Sam will be in attendance. He will arrive right before the walk begins and will stay in the car. He'll be driven around the perimeter so he can experience this amazing event. I can't wait to experience it with him.
The boys are doing fantastic! Sam's appetite has started tapering off as a result of lowering his steroid dose. He seems to be more in control of his emotions as well. He's so happy. Everyday, he just displays joy. He laughs a lot and kids around. He and Ethan are playing really well together. They are sharing and taking turns with toys. Today, Sam was so cute. I was speaking with my cousin Jill from Florida and Sam wanted to talk. He said, "Hey cousin Jill!" with so much enthusiasm I couldn't help but smile. They chatted for a while and I was glad Jill was able to hear him. He also spoke with Aunt Sioux (Sue) from California. He was really excited to hear that she was coming in town this week and bringing him a green truck and Ethan a tow truck (happy shopping Sue!) He also asked her to bring him a pair of pink tweezers...don't ask, long story involving Dennis. Sam and Sue just cut up to the point Sam fell to the floor laughing. He's so animated! Those who know Sue, know she has a very contagious laugh. Can't wait to see you!
Yesterday, Sam was pushing a stroller around the house and came into my office, here is what he said, "Hi Mom, this is my wheelchair and I'm here to pick you up for radiation. Don't be afraid but you have to have that white medicine in your lines." This kid has a memory beyond anyone I know. He comes up with some pretty interesting stuff.
I surprised Ethan today and went to school early. I love doing that! I found him on the playground and he didn't see me for the first 5-10 minutes. I was able to watch him interact with his friends. Too cute. When he saw me, he did his typical....GASP and then....MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!! running into my arms.
I truly have the most special kids!
Last night I was invited to attend a really fabulous event at The Dallas Country Club. It's called TableScapes and is sponsored by Kappa Kappa Gamma with proceeds going to several different charities. What is so cool about this event is that top designers set tables; like dining room tables. The dishes, flatware, flowers, etc. were out of this world. There were hundreds of people in attendance, primarily women. The food was delicious, the champagne lovely and the music groovy. This is such a fun event and we can't wait to go again next year. There was an entire table made out of flowers. The legs, sides and top...completely flowers. It was stunning! We gathered lots of cards and got tons of ideas for hosting a pretty knocked out dinner party at some point. Faith and I met the photographer and Editor from Park Cities People. I was able to share my story about Sam and Light the Night and I'm hopeful they will cover the story for their next publication. The Texas Jewish Post is doing an article in this week's newspaper as well, so check it out.
That's the news for the day!
All my love,
Dana & Family
Saturday, October 16, 2004 5:23 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
I awoke just 5 minutes before my alarm was set for 5:45am this morning. Jumped in the shower, woke up Jenny as she spent the night and we were off by 6:15am for Northpark Mall. Today was The Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. Approximately 35,000 people were in attendance with 2500 of those being survivors.
We ran into Karla & Rick and Debbie W. right by the starting line. We were able to take our first few steps of the 5K with them. That was powerful for me. Karla has been through so much on her own as well as by my side for all of my "stuff." Having Jenny there was once again, "As it should be." Dennis had planned on participating with me, however, the older kids had made plans to spend the night with their mom and we didn't want to disrupt their plans. So Dennis hung out with the kids this morning.
This is my third time to do the race in Dallas and I've done it once in Plano. I love this event and I'm so grateful to Karla for taking care of my registration. My mind has been pretty far removed from breast cancer as of late and had she not taken the initiative I know it would have come and gone without my knowledge. Thanks KJ!
I ran today in celebration of myself and being able to watch my children grow up. I also walked on behalf of Lynn Newman, Betsy Horowitz, Tamar Miller and Mary Reynolds. At the end of the race all of the survivors enter the stage area together. We were divided by number of years of survival. The visual of seeing that many women and a few men all wearing pink shirts and hats is pretty remarkable and emotional. Tamar and I found each other in the Survivor's Tent just before we were to make that walk to the stage. It was so great to see her and how well she's doing. Laura Miller (our Mayor) was on hand to read the proclamation and to celebrate being 6 years out....breast cancer. A great way to start my Saturday. Jenny, thank you for experiencing this event with me. I love you so much. With all that you've been through, to make this kind of an effort meant the world to me.
Well, we're in countdown mode for Light the Night. We're anticipating in the neighborhood of 2500 people participating. Probably a quarter of those people will be on our team or associated with our team. While this is exceptional and we're all so thrilled, I'm already thinking about doubling this number next year. There is power and strength in numbers. The more people who participate equals more awareness and ultimately and most importantly, more money is raised for finding a cure! I understand that a cure is in the forseeable future. I don't know if it will be in my lifetime, but I know it will happen. And through our efforts, we're that much closer.
A few interesting things occured while at the Race today. Jenny and I were walking around after the event and I heard a woman say, "What are the chances that I would recognize both of you from your websites?" As it turns out, she was a distant relative of Andrew's (I believe.) Next, we handed a flyer and Jenny didn't pay much attention to it, but for some reason I realized it was from someone at the LLS. I said, "Wait a minute!" and showed her. We immediately turned around and began chatting with this very nice 31 year old man. Jenny asked him if he worked for the Society. He did, in the Ft. Worth location (I believe.) We introduced ourselves but mentioning our names didn't spark anything for him. I asked him if he was aware of baby Allie. Oh My God, this man is participating in Team in Training (26 mile marathon) and has adopted Allie along with a few other kids to be his honored hero. Jenny said, "I'm Allie's Mommy!' He began tearing up, we could see this even with his sunglasses on. He was so floored to have the opportunity to meet Jenny. He was familiar with Sam's story as well and asked how the boys were doing. The most beautiful part of this story is that he said meeting Jenny today really made this whole so real for him. He was so sweet and we will support his fundraising efforts once LTN is over. Thirty-five thousand people and we meet him. I told Jenny, "That was the reason you were supposed to be here." Before leaving, I ran into my cousin Sharon.
I received a call from Jason at the Society yesterday afternoon indicating our team was at or around $85,000! Because of you and your generosity, we've done this in just 8-10 weeks. From the bottom of my heart, I am so deeply grateful to each and every person who has donated money for this incredible purpose. It's official, I'm raising the bar to $100,000. I have been reluctant as I hate not meeting goals, but I know we can certainly do this in the next 7 days.
For any of Sam's readers who were able to make a donation towards Lynn Newman's $5,000 personal goal for Susan G. Komen, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know. With your help, she was able to surpass her goal by a few hundred dollars.
I'm sure there's more to report....Sam and Ethan are having a wonderful weekend together. I thank God Sam wasn't an only child. The dynamics would be so entirely different if he didn't have Ethan to play with. They are adorable together.
Time to get ready for dinner. Hope your Saturday night is awesome. A special thank you to my wonderful cousins, Barbara, Stan, Marianne and Dean for the wonderful meal catered by Central Market on Wednesday. I promise a "real" thank you is on it's way.
xxoo,
Dana & Family
(no time to proof, sorry in advance for any typos!)
Friday, October 15, 2004 2:55 PM CDT
Dear Friends & Family,
Today has naturally been yet another really busy day. Sam woke up sobbing for no apparent reason. I think he was crying because he was ready for breakfast and I wasn't moving fast enough. My poor little uumpa luumpa cries a lot these days. Then he cries because he can't stop crying.
All kidding aside, it makes my heart hurt seeing him like this. I keep telling myself it's temporary and hopefully, he'll be off the steroids in 4 more weeks. I know I'm going to hold on tight to that ray of hope. Approximately four weeks later and his face should return to somewhat normal. Based on the responses I read from Sam's guestbook last night, I see you guys finally believe me and realize I wasn't joking around about my little pudge.
But you know what?????? My baby is alive, ha