Journal

Saturday, May 29, 2004 7:54 AM CDT

This will hopefully be the last journal entry for some time. We feel that we are writing the last paragraph on the last page of this chapter of our lives. There will be other chapters in this book, and some may even involve cancer, but we are now basking in the “peace of God which transcends all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).

Patrick is doing fantastic! We feel so “spoiled” by God’s goodness and love!

When Patrick was first diagnosed with AML on November 26, 2002, we were told to report to Children’s Hospital at Brackenridge immediately. One of the very first procedures Patrick endured was a surgery to install a “port-a-cath” in his chest just under the skin. Since Patrick’s condition dictated that he would be stuck with needles hundreds of times during his treatment, the port-a-cath serves as a central location to administer fluids and medication. The nurses are able to access this port-a-cath and attach tubes that are connected to IV bags to deliver the necessary blood products, IV fluids, or medication (including chemotherapy drugs), therefore reducing the number of times the patient must be poked.

A month ago, on April 28, Patrick’s port-a-cath was removed! This event is wildly significant, since the doctors will not remove the port-a-cath until they believe it is no longer needed. Many patients retain their port-a-caths for up to 7 years. And sadly, some are buried with theirs. We rejoice that Patrick is still here with us, and his need for a port-a-cath has been eliminated! God is so good, and we are so grateful!

Patrick condition is now almost completely normal! He is not on any medication, his strength has returned, he is eating well, and he can enjoy all the activities a boy his age can enjoy. The only “outstanding” treatments scheduled are to complete the re-administration of his childhood vaccines, since the bone marrow transplant effectively erases the protection of the earlier round of vaccines. He has blood drawn about once per month, and will visit MD Anderson every 3 months – all just routine checkups. His latest blood tests showed that his health is strengthening, as both his white blood cell counts and his platelet counts have improved significantly. And on May 18, Patrick turned 13! We can hardly believe it (for so many reasons)!

Gradually over the past several months our daily activities have dealt less with cancer and more with enjoying each day, each other, and each reminder of the love of God toward us. But there is a certain danger in “returning to normal”. Quite simply, we have a tendency to quickly forget the lessons learned in the trenches once we return to civilian life. So to resist that tendency, we must often ask ourselves, “What have we learned?”

We have learned that God is God, and He can do whatever He wants.

We have learned that although pain and suffering will eventually visit everyone, not everyone will deal with suffering in the same way. God makes very specific promises to His children – promises that lead to hope for the believer. Suffering endured from this hopeful perspective leads to greater character, humility, gratitude, and deep inner peace. Suffering apart from the promises of God leads to either despair (in the midst of the trial), or personal pride (if the trial is lifted).

We have learned that “the prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective”. I’m convinced that we will never know the full effect of the prayer offered on our behalf until we reach heaven. Nothing lies beyond the reach of prayer except those things outside the will of God.

We have learned that this life is not as important as we previously thought, and that spending it as an investment in the next life is the wisest vocation.

We have learned that suffering is not necessarily something “to be avoided at all costs”, but like a gardener’s pruning or a potter’s shaping, suffering can be evidence of God’s loving involvement in our circumstances, and His desire to add strength and beauty to our character.

We have learned that life is a gift, not a guarantee.

We have learned that we are only visitors on this earth. In the words of Samuel Rutherford, “Whatever happens, the worst will only be a weary traveler receiving a joyful and heavenly welcome home.”

We have learned that there really is a “peace of God which transcends all understanding”.

We have learned that in the emotional turmoil of dire circumstances beyond human control we tend to fixate on one or two “statistics” that generate great fear. But our faith teaches us to look past the “facts” to the truth – the truth that Jesus was well acquainted with suffering, that He is right beside us at all times, that He is not limited in love and power, and that He can do whatever He wants. This truth is encapsulated in the words of Michael Card, “He loves us with passion – without regret. He cannot love more, and will not love less.”

We have learned a new perspective. “The way to peace and victory is to accept every circumstance and every trial as being straight from the hand of our loving Father; to live ‘with Him in the heavenly realms’ (Ephesians 2:6), above the clouds, in the very presence of His throne; to look down from glory on our circumstances as being lovingly and divinely appointed.” L.B. Cowman

We have learned that our most valuable treasure for all eternity is our relationship with God through Jesus Christ. And our most valuable treasure for this world is our relationship to you – our friends and family who have willingly poured yourselves out for us. By this sacrifice you have participated in Christ’s ministry to our family, and so have been the very hands of God to us. “This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God.” (2 Corinthians 9:12) We thank God for each of you.

In closing I want to urge you to prepare. Suffering and death are unavoidable components of life on earth. God will prove to be your ever-present strength if you will turn toward Him: before, during and after your own time of testing.

Whoever is wise, let him heed these things
and consider the great love of the LORD.
(Psalm 107:43)

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