Monday, September 19, 2005 4:21 PM CDT

Hello all,

Thanks for the messages, I print them and take them to Karen and read all them to her, thanks again for keeping in touch.

Karen's dentist appointment is Sept 29, please keep her in prayer, I'm sure she will be somewhat anxious (who wouldn't be?).

I'll keep you posted

Wednesday, August 31, 2005 5:04 PM CDT

Hello all

No changes lately...

Karen is getting 2 teeth pulled at the end of the month, outpatient at the hospital. There are 2 cracked molars that might be giving her some trouble. Please pray that all goes well.

The staff at Rolling Fields wants me to thank all the Chemo Angels for all the cards. They (and Karen) enjoy them and they read every one to her. Thanks again!

Take care
Jack

Monday, August 15, 2005 4:20 PM CDT

Hello all,
Rolling Fields had their Family picnic Friday night, games, food, fireworks, etc...
Karen enjoyed watching the outside activities and the special attention from Cheyenne (17 months) and Matt (4-1/2 yrs).
The fireworks were great, they were real close, and they definately had all her attention. I'm sure she is looking forward to next year.

Thanks for the cards and messages.

Wednesday, August 3, 2005 4:33 PM CDT

Hello all, Sorry there haven't been more updates but Karen is pretty much the same. Two things coming up though...

She saw a dentist and has to have two teeth pulled, they will do this out patient at the hospital (not scheduled yet).

and the big family picnic at Rolling Fields coming up, games, food, fireworks, etc

I will keep you posted.

Jack

Wednesday, April 27, 2005 11:51 PM CDT

Things have not changed much over the last couple months, Karen still has times that she tries hard to respond but it seems she gets tired quickly and loses interest or just shuts down. She still is pushing herself backwards down the the hall, I think she does it because she can.

We had an appointment with her nuerologist last week and she said that it is highly unlikely that Karen will improve. I can understand her position, from a clinical point of view, but there is more to it than that.

I believe that miracles can happen, Karen is at a point where there isn't another way. The doctor agrees that a substantial improvement could only be attributed to God's hand at work. Please keep her in prayer, even more than before.

For those who write or sign the guest book, I know Karen thanks you for keeping in touch. I read all the entries, etc. to her. If you have any news, let her know.

Thanks
Jack

Monday, February 21, 2005 4:09 PM CST

Good news!
Karen is still moving around, pushing herself around with her feet in her chair. She is starting to reach out her hand and squeeze when you ask her, nodding her head, and blinking her eyes. She is also smiling!
Nothing is coming easy but she is really working hard. Yesterday she was trying so hard to answer a question. Her mouth was forming the word one (the w sound) but no breath or vocal chords...yet.

Linda, she was glad to here from you and about Owen, I am sure she remembers.

Her friends here(staff and residents)keep her active and involved.

Please keep praying, we still believe in miracles.

Thanks everyone
Jack

Monday, January 24, 2005 4:10 PM CST

Karen is doing good, she is kicking her legs and actually pushing herself backwards in her chair. It even seems like she might know where she is going. She nodded yes again for me but couldn't get out a no. She also worked really hard to stretch out her hand to me.
Please pray that God will give her the strength to show more and more improvement.

Thanks

Saturday, November 27, 2004 1:49 PM CST

When Matthew, Cheyanne and I visited with Karen today, she puckered up a couple times to give the baby a kiss, the staff got a kick out of it. They really do love her. Cheyanne sat on her lap and talked to her for quite a while.

When I was talking to her about a teacher from our elementary school who has been visiting and reading to her she actually nodded her head yes and no. Just slightly for yes and better for no. We will be working hard on getting some consistancy there.

Well, I will keep you posted, please keep praying.

Jack

Monday, October 18, 2004 4:21 PM CDT

Brenda and I visited Saturday and brought Cheyanne and Matt to spend some time with Aunt Karen. We let Cheyanne (7 months) lay down beside her and brushed her hand across her face. Karen has always loved kids as most of you know and that is a sure way to bring a smile to her face. She didn't have a big one but she did manage to turn up the corners of her mouth. Matt sat at the head of her bed and talked to her and hugged her.

She is still kicking alot whether in bed or in her chair.

Thanks for the cards and messages, I know she appreciates them. I always read them to her and let her know how much everyone cares and how much people are keeping her in prayer.

Thanks again

Monday, September 13, 2004 4:30 PM CDT

Hi, had a good visit with my little sister yesterday, it was a beautiful day so we took a walk around the pond. After the walk we sat on the patio in the shade and enjoyed the breeze. The last time we went for a walk it was sprinkling out, so we took a walk in the rain. I think she enjoyed it!

She looks great, the staff takes great care of her and it's obvious they love her...hair cut and frosted and all, she really does look good.

We spent a good time praying yesterday, please continue to keep asking for God's healing for her.

Thanks for the messages, I always let her know when someone keeps in touch.

Sunday, August 1, 2004 6:56 PM CDT

Hi, visited with Karen today, she was distant most of the time, although when I was praying with her she seemed to respond. Last week she seemed to hang on every word and was right there, making eye contact almost the whole time.

Please be in prayer for her and thanks for your messages and cards.

Wednesday, July 7, 2004 6:35 PM CDT

Hello, this is Jack, sorry there has not been an update for a while but things are pretty much the same.

I brought the 3 month old baby in to visit Karen on Sunday hoping to get a big smile but she didn't seem as interested as she has been in the past. Generally she loves babies and really enjoys when they are around. She did do her best to pucker up to give Cheyeanne a kiss though. One of the nurses said she enjoyed a kitten that was around a few weeks back, we have two so Brenda and I will bring them out to visit next time.

Karen is hanging in there, keep praying.

Saturday, May 29, 2004 6:26 PM CDT

Karen spent some time outside today, we took a walk around the pond and saw two goose families with 10 goslings. They spent most of their time in the water because Matthew was having trouble keeping his distance. Karen was bright eyed and alert the whole time, inside and out. She enjoyed watching me spin Matt around until he was dizzy and stumble around in the grass. She had a big smile when we first got there but came up with a huge one when Brenda and Matthew were kissing her goodbye.

I (Jack) will keep you posted.

If anyone sends messages I will read them to her so she knows you are thinking of her.

Thanks

Saturday, April 17, 2004 3:13 PM CDT

If I had only known, this was our last walk in the rain.
I'd keep you out for hours in the storm.
I would hold your hand,like a lifeline to my heart.
Underneath the thunder we'd be warm.
If I had only known, this was our last walk in the rain.

If I had only known, I'd never hear your voice again.
I'd memorize each word you ever said.
And on those lonely nights, I could think of them once more
and keep your words alive inside my head.
If I had only known, I'd never hear your voice again.

You were the treasure in my head
You were the one who always stood beside me, so unaware.
I foolishly believed that you would always be there.
Then there came a day and I turned my head
and you slipped away.

If I had only known, this would be my last night by yourside.
I'd pray a miracle to stop the dawn
And when you smiled at me, I would look into your eyes.
And make sure you know my love for you goes on and on.
If I had only known, this was my last night by your side.

Tuesday, March 9, 2004 11:13 PM CST

Tears for Karen


I can't count how many tears I've cried for you
The floors of my soul are flooded with them.
They slowly roll off my cheek as if
you're gently wiping them away.
They explode from my face because my body
can't hold all the hurt my heart bleeds
from missing you.
They fall to the ground like a down pour of rain
as it washes my daily pain away.
You hung the moon in that big empty sky
You said you loved me and that I'll never cry.
But I've cried so much the moon is turning blue.
I cry for you because there are no words to describe
how much it hurts missing you.
I cry for you because the pain in my heart burns a hole
through my soul. And these tears are all I have to heal the wounds.
But nothing can hide the scars in my heart from the pain of watching you slip away, being totally helpless to save you.
My heart is all I have left. It is where I keep your smile, your love, everything about you that made you beautiful.
Karen, my best friend, my soul mate. Our souls became one the day we met. We share a bond that is unbreakable.
The day we said "I love you", we gave a new meaning to the word "Love".

I love you Karen
I love you Boogaloo

Thursday, March 4, 2004 1:58 AM CST

Spring is almost here. I saw a robin today and you know what that means. Everyone still warns me about the St. Patrick's Day blizzard coming up. Haven't seen any butterflies yet, but they're coming. This spring I plan on planting a Butterfly Bush in my back yard. I remember Karen's Butterfly Bush in Allentown went crazy. It got so big and she loved it. I don't have a green thumb, I usually kill any plant I touch, But I won't let that stop me.
Soom, Karen and I will be hanging out at the lake again feeding the fish bread crumbs. She got very interested in that last summer. We'll try again.
Well, I just wanted to add something, I know I haven't added anything in here for awhile, I don't see Karen as much as I used to, with school going full force. But they keep good care of her, She's alway's out by the Nursing Station watching everyone go by. They all talk to her.
I still miss you Karen,
I still Love you..My Boogaloo. My Karen

Friday, February 13, 2004 12:21 AM CST

Dear Karen,
Another Valentine's Day is coming up soon. And soon this long cold winter will be over. Your butterflies will be fluttering, your flowers blooming, and my love for you will still be blossoming. I say a prayer for you everynight before I go to bed and I know God is listneing. I still keep my faith in him and I still believe in you.
I don't have alot to say today, other than I miss you, I love you, and I'm still with you.
I love you Karen
I love you Boogaloo
Patrick

Sunday, February 8, 2004 3:04 PM CST

Beautiful Butterfly
Look, look, butterflies everywhere
On my shirt, socks, finger and in my hair
They remind me of my past history
The early days, right after my injury
When I felt broken and off-beat
Like a caterpillar, ugly and incomplete

But we are different, the caterpillar and me
It didn't have to work to be set free
While I had to learn to live a new way
By putting all that I learned into play

I had to accomplish many seemingly simple tasks
Like holding up my head without being asked
To use one hand, instead of two
Is not an easy thing to do
To get around, since I can't walk
To communicate, since I can't talk

But my transformation is not yet complete
I still have many goals to meet
And as I work and persevere
I hope my problems disappear
Then, like the helpless caterpillar in a cocoon
I'll become a beautiful butterfly soon.

Bari Lynn Dizengoff 1999

Thursday, February 5, 2004 10:08 PM CST

Karen's website is up and running. Just click here, www.karenkinder.com
I hope it's a nice tribute to such a wonderful woman.
I love you Karen!
I love you Boogaloo!

Sunday, January 25, 2004 9:52 PM CST

I remember when I used to look forward to weekends, but lately they do nothing but slow me down. As I've mentioned before in a few entries, I'm working on a new web site for Karen. I had a small one thru AOL but my buddy who owned the AOL service discontinued, so, I lost the AOL site. That's why if you look down the guestbook far enough, you'll notice a blank space where Karen's ad used to be.
Well, I finished her web site and I will put it up next week.
This web site will eventually take place of all the others I have floating around the internet, consolidated into one.
And as soon as I can figure, (or learn) how to make a guestbook, this will be replaced as well.
I've been working and going to school so much this month I haven't seen Karen at all. Whew, I miss you Karen like nobody's business. I'm excited about this web site will be the first on my resume showing my skills as a web designer.
Karen will be so proud, I know she would.
So, that's what I've been doing this month.
Karen on the other hand, I've heard might have been trying say her name! THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!
I call down there and the nurses tell me Karen's getting harder to keep in bed. She keeps squirming her way out.
That's the spirit I remember Karen having. She's still here, and I still love her.
I love you Karen
I love you Boogaloo!
Patrick

Saturday, January 17, 2004 7:20 PM CST

Ever have one of those days?...Weeks...Months?
I'm going cruising along with school and my new job and before you know it, it's the middle of the month and I haven't had time to see Karen. Not only the time but neither the money to drive all the way down there. I really feel awful about it. The weather up here has really been awful too. I haven't seen her since New Years and I miss her like CRAZY!!!
It's all I can do though to call down there and ask how she's been, and they tell me they keep trying boost her back up in her bed because she keeps finding her way OUT!.
WAY TO GO KAREN...but don't fall out!
I keep promising myself when the weather clears up I'll head down there, but when that time comes I get another "block in the road" that prevents me fom going.
My family has been there for me and thank God! Someone who knows me and understands me. It's a relief sometimes knowing I'm not alone in all of this.
Don't get me wrong I know we have alot of friends out there too who care an awful lot about us, but it's nice when my sister or my Mom can call me and we can talk.
Well, I know this journel isn't much about recovery, but I wanted to write something in here to tell you we're still here.
I love you Karen!
I love you BOOGALOO!

Monday, December 29, 2003 12:57 AM CST

Happy New year everyone!!!
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. We sure did.
Karen still insists on saying something...anything!. She tries real hard on the word "Wet" though. She's such a strong willed woman. I tell her all the time to pray, listen, and talk to God. So far he's the only one who can understand her. I tell her all the Doctors and Therapist have tried thier best (Bless you Michelle) and there's only one, who can fix her. And he will, if we..if she believes he will. I know this, I know this more than anything. I know he can. God's will is to heal and love. But this whole "free will" and "free choice" stuff sometimes really makes life blow. Don't misunderstand me tho, it also makes life beautiful. I only spent a year and a half with Karen before her accident. And if I had to do it all over again, I still wouldn't change a thing. I would rather spend one day with her and love her all I can and then face this horrible tragedy, than to have never had the pleasure of meeting her at all.
Well, have a happy New Year. We'll see you in 2004


Karen has a new E-mail address:

kkbrown_1@hotmail.com

Please send her a note.

Friday, December 5, 2003 9:49 PM CST

Mark this day in your calender because Karen said her first word. Actually half of it. She said "we..."!!! (wet), because she was wet and she was trying her best to get out of the wheelchair. If it wasn't for the seatbelt, she would've been on the floor.
I was totally surprised and I congratulated her with hugs and kisses, I look at her and she has this huge grin on her face. Oh yeah, she knew what she did. And she was proud of herself too. This girl is no quitter that's for sure.
So, I wheel her back to her room and I tell the nurses what she did and that she needs to be put back in bed. While we wait she figured something else that she can do. She put her right foot on the chair I'm sitting in, in front of her and she pushes herself back. then, with her foot still on the chair, she pulles herself back in. She does this for at least 10 minutes while we wait for the nurses aid to come in. I'm just letting her go and she looking at me as if, "pretty cool huh?"
I would like to assume that, as stubborn as Karen is, she knows she wants to communicate, but she only wants to communicate by talking. But I'm only assuming.
Whew! I'm exhausted. I'm tired today. And I can't stopped smiling. I love this woman. And this is proof enough for me, God is healing her. He's fixing her up so she can come out at play.
I love you Karen!
I love my Boogaloo!

Thursday, December 4, 2003 1:38AM EST

Ever wonder why things happen? Things we can't seem to explain? Why did this happen to Karen, why Kaitlyn? Why my Dad, or my best friend Darren? Ever look up to heaven and ask God, Why? Why him? Why her?

Believe me I've pondered this question for most of my life. I've come to compare it to parenting. That is, why God does and does not do what we ask sometimes. Remember when we were kids, and mom or dad wouldn't let us do something, or have something. For the life of you, you couldn't understand why. What could be the logical reasoning behind their orders? It was uncomprehensable why they said "no!" But when I grew up, I understood. It was clear to me, Mom knew what was best. Just like God does. It simply does not make any sense why my life can't run more smoothly. Whenever I see something great coming ahead, BAM! I'm forced to take another road in my life and it's just as bumpy as the last road I started. I don't understand now, why this happened to Karen, but I know when I go home to heaven, it'll be as clear to me then, as it does now, knowing why mom said no when I was 10.

And why doesn't God heal Karen NOW!!! Or why didn't he stop this from happening in the first place? I remember when I was a boy, I had alot of bike accidents. Sure my mother could've stopped me from having those accidents by never buying me the bike in the first place, or making stay home. But then she would've taken away my freedom. No parent wants to do that to their children. But when I crashed, she was there, and she put her arm around me and she carried me home and she cleaned me up. That's what God's is doing for Karen right now. She had a huge accident and requires alot of cleaning up.

Sure God can fix her up right this second, but what kind of world would that give us? Where we could drive off a cliff and God would fix us on the spot? We'd be a bunch of spoiled brats! Would also be kinda boring around here if you ask me.

God is the perfect parent. And just like when we were kids, we have to trust him. Just like I trusted my Mom.
Even when it seems bleek and impossible to us. And I know God wants to bring Karen back in our lives (back outside to play if you will). He wants this more than we do.


Thank you Mom, for fixing my knees, elbows and oh yeah, my head that one time. And thank you God, for fixing Karen, we can't wait to have her back.


Just another update, everyone been saying how they've noticed Karen trying to speak. I've noticed it too, and she doesn't like anything on her feet. She becoming quite a hoodini when it comes to her splints. She can, and will, find a way out of them. Rock and Roll honey!!!
I love you!

Saturday, November 15, 2003 2:46 AM CST

Not everyday is as warm and sunny as it used to be.
There are times I'm feeling hopeless, and exhausted.
I know I can move on and no one would feel any less of me.
And that's good to know...But I can't. Would any one feel any less of me if Karen and I were married and I moved on? Isn't that why you take the oaths? For better for worse, in sickness and in health? Well, we were close, we had planned on getting married. Just not in no big hurry to get it done. We loved the way it was. We had a blast together, we cried together, we talked, we walked our short normal life together. We finally found each other. After searching our whole life. I had to make some choices not knowing if they were the right ones, just following my heart. I still love Karen, I adore her. She's my best friend and I know she tries, she works really hard to come out of her shell. Lord only knows what she's going through. I can only image it's very scary and confusing. And it's all I can do to be there and comfort as much as I can these days.
I'm starting to feel better about not being there everyday now. I'm able to get more things done, taking better care of myself. I've made the Dean's List 3 times now, passed the Microsoft Certified Professional Exam and holding on to a 3.5. I'm proud of myself.
I still miss her. I still walk and feel her walking next to me, holding my hand. I still feel her sitting next to me as I'm driving.
I know some of you still have hope for Karen, because you dream of her, and she's talking, walking and sometimes laughing. Doesn't she have the greatest smile?
If anyone wants to write to Karen she does have Email at the Nursing home.
E-Mail Karen here
She loves letters.
Street is Cherry, Room 11

Monday, November 3, 2003 11:06 AM CST

Did everyone have a happy Halloween? We did. We passed candy out to 785 kids! Karen wore her Butterfly mask and the kids said it was very nice. I'll have pictures up pretty soon.
Karen is still maintaining pretty steady. I don't know why, but she's able to raise her right leg all the way up in the air and her left leg about half that far. And when she's on her right side, she'll kick her legs off the bed. Everytime you put them back on th ebed, she'll kick them off again. I can make some assumtions as to why she does this but I'll leave them to that until I know for sure.
Well, time is running down the street!
Patrick

Saturday, October 22, 2003 8:55 PM EST

Love's a Risk There is a risk involved in everything Every time you share a smile Every time you shed a tear You are opening yourself up to hurt. Some people tread slowly through life, Avoiding the closeness risk brings, Side-stepping the things they can't understand Turning away from those who care too much- Those who care stay too long, Those who hold too tightly. There is never an easy way to love You can not approach it cautiously It will not wait for you to arm yourself. It does not care if you turn away It is everywhere, it is everything. Love is the greatest of all risks. It is not reliable, it is not cautious, It is not sympathetic It is unprejudiced and unmerciliess. It strikes the strongest of mind, And brings them to their knees in one blow. Even in the best of times, love hurts. It hurts to need, it hurts to belong, It hurts to be the other part of someone else, Without either of your consent. But, from the moment it overtakes you, It hurts worse to be all alone. The risk of love never depletes; It grows stronger and more dangerous with time. But, it's in the total surrender of all defense, That we, no matter weak or strong, No matter willing or captive, No matter what, we truly experience love. Despite the many things love is not, Outweighing it all are the things that love is. Love is surrender without a loss. It is a gift without the cost. It consumes your every thought & desire, Every breath you take. It is the fire that fuels you To do more than pass through life; It urges you, instead, to live. No matter the outcome, having felt love, You will never be the same. It may scar your heart & soul And Leave you only memories of forever. Or, it may cause every day of your life To feel like there is no need for tomorrow. But, love is worth it. It is worth the risk... For in all of life, Love is truly the only risk worth taking.

Imagine a World Imagine a world, where love's supreme, Where there are, no winners or losers, Where every person, big and small, Cares, about the future of each other. Imagine a world, where no one starves, Not for food, nor shelter, nor money, No one wonders, why they were born, Because they were born, for sheer wonder. Imagine a world, where everyone knows, True happiness; can only be found, When they open, their minds and hearts, To the Community, of being God's offspring. Imagine a world, where no one lays claim, To the land, and all its resources, Where the entire race, man, woman, and child, Understands they all belong to each other. Imagine a world, where our consciousness, Has been raised, to the level we know, That the tree in the forest, and the bird in the sky, All belong, to that same, magnificent family. Imagine a world, for you and I, Where we can lift, our heads in communion, And watch the birds, in a smog-less sky, And breathe in, the cleanest sweet air. Imagine a world, where poverty's a crime, And starvation, a dirty word, Where the world, has plenty of all it needs, To feed, clothe, and nurture it's many. Imagine a world, where no one sneers, At open, expressions of loving, Where hitting another, and calling it sport, No longer, is called entertainment. Imagine a world, where love reigns supreme, And no one stays bound in institutions, That binds two souls, who have filled their roles, And need to move on to another. Imagine a world, where soulessness, That empty, "I can't wait to die" feeling, Is the crime, the world must treat, For love, is the code we must live by. Imagine a world, where no one doubts, Their importance, to the rest of the world, The fact they were born, into this world, Is enough, to be celebrated always. Imagine a world, where no one falls, Through, the pitfalls of life, If only one person, is lost to us, We are all, at a loss as well. Imagine a world, where I reach out, To touch, ALL my brothers and sisters, And they in turn reach out to touch, All that I am, and can be.

Saturday, September 13, 2003 6:45 PM CDT

Karen amazes me. She still looks at that door button as if "That button is mine!" Getting her look at it is the hard part. Her attention is still fixed on what YOU are doing. But once you can get her to look at it, she'll give it all she's got. Friday she played Bingo with the kids and elderly, and she won 5 times. her friend Courtney was nice enough to help her with the chips amd pick out her prizes. All stickers because there's not much Karen can do with candy these days.
I'm missing her like crazy lately, I never missed day with her until she moved and now I'm not able to see her everyday like I used to. I just can't afford the gas for the 40 mile trip each day to see her. But they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, I saw Karen Tuesday for the first time in 5 days and her eyes got real big and she smiled so big, it was beautiful! The nurses told me they could tell she missed me. I sure did miss her. And I still do. I wanted to see her today but I couldn't. Hopefully I can find a way to see her more often.
Talking to the therapist it sounds like we're all waiting for the same thing. Consistancy, to start therapy. Yes she's doing alot of great and different things. But they have to see her do them consistantly. I still believe in Karen. I know it can years for her to recover, I know God can work a miracle in just a few minutes. Either way I know I know she'll make it out of this mess sometime.
I love you Karen. I miss you!

Friday, September 5, 2003 9:48 AM CDT

Karens at it again! I showed her the Automatic Door Button and asked her to push it if she wanted to go outside. She looked at the button as if "Gimme that button!" and tried so hard to push it. and she worked at it for a good five minutes, Which might as well be an hour for her. She didn't actually push it tho', She still hasn't gained control of her upper arms and without that you really can't reach that far. The determination in her was incredible. It's funny, I didn't get to finish explaining how to push the button before she went for it. Her abilities are getting quicker, and smarter. I was so happy I told her, "Karen, You're going to make it"
I asked her "Karen, Are you going to make it out of here?" And she smiled.
I love you Karen!
We went to the Daycare they have in the facility and the kids love her. She was watching everything and trying real hard to participate. Yesterday was a good day becuase there was 3 older girls there, about 9 and they've really taken to Karen. They were all talking to her and she watching each one as they spoke. It was special because usually attention span is like, 1-2 seconds or she blocked everything out by closing her eyes. Lately she hasn't been doing this. She's watching everything, she's doing more, participating in more activities. And with still a long road ahead of her, she's doing great. I'm so proud of her.

Monday, August 25, 2003 9:52 AM CDT

Saturday was a WONDERFUL day!!!. I took Karen out to the pond in the back. The fish see you and they will follow you around the pond because everyone feeds them. They're spoiled! I was throwing bread crumbs to the fish and I put some bread in Karens hands and she was trying to throw the bread in the water. Whoo Hoooo!!! GO KAREN!!! She was really throwing it, all but the letting go of the bread she was throwing it!!!! My eyes got real big and I was huggin her and her eyes got real big and she was smiling. That's my Karen!!!
I am so proud of her.
I love you Karen!!!

Tuesday, August 19, 2003 9:33 AM CDT

Karen's seems to fitting in her new home just fine and making friends. Last Friday, the Nursing home had a family picnic with a live band, clowns, BBQ the whole works. Just like a small carnival. We sat with a Nurse and her family and Karen had a great time, She's laughing and smiling again. Oh what a site! You know the Chicken Dance Song? If you dance along to it for Karen she will laugh at you. She's even laughing at some of the funny stories I tell her like last summer. It's good to see her come back, even if it's slowly. The distance is killing me tho'. I've never missed two days so far and I know that doesn't sound so bad to some of you, but to me I drive myself crazy when I'm not there. I know she's in good hands and nurses there take good care of her. But by default, I'm a worrying freak.
The past two days the weather has been beautiful and taking Karen outside to see the lake is a joy. It's very peaceful out there.
Well, that's about all for now.
Karen and I thank you for checking in and remember to sign the guestbook, I love reading your entries to her.

Saturday, August 9, 2003 10:59 PM CDT

Karen made it to Rolling Fields safe and sound Tuesday afternoon. There's so much for her to do there and the staff are so friendly and helpful. I can't believe how great it all is. The Daycare is Karen's favorite and she has already made a friend there. A little girl who gets very excited to see her, she draws pictures for her and seems very understanding and patient with Karen. Karen tried her best to say thank you for the picture this little gave her. Her eyes and my eyes got really big at such a great attempt. Every night now Karen is getting louder and louder and staying up later and later. She didn't go to sleep tonight until 10:00pm. She just stayed up watching TV, lookin over at me kicking and making noises all night. Thursday night I was talking to her, asking her all kinds of questions, When I asked her Where she went to college, she slowly made the...you know shape your lips make when trying to say a "B" word? She did that. Then after I congradulated her with hugs and kisses she had the proudest look on her face. This look is getting more and more familiar.
I met Karen's new Doctor and she's great. She listens and I can tell she really cares. It also sounds like we might be able to keep Dr. Blackford, Karen's Nuero-Psych. The Therapist are always poking their heads in checking on her and the nurses, aides..what else can I say? I love this new place and I plan on moving down there by Christmas and hopefully transfer to a school as good as mine. Hopefully I can take Karen fishing sometime in the small lake out back. Well, that's all I have for now. There's alot for her to do here, trips, activities, etc, so keep tuning in for alot of updates.

Wednesday, July 30, 2003 5:17 PM CDT

Karen will be moving Monday August 4th to Rolling Fields Nursing Home. This place is beautiful. It's out in the country and I hope Karen likes it.I haven't missed a day since this whole thing started. I don't know how I'll manage the drive from here. It's about 45 minutes from me, but I made here from Oklahoma, I'll find a way to do this. Who knows, if I like it,I maymove out there myself. I'll write more about her move the more I find out. Meanwhile, check out the website.

Karen went to see her EEG doctor wednesday, she didn't get an EEG. Miscommunication has been running heavy lately, but we did get some meds changed. She is no longer on Dilantin (Yay!) or Ritalin. Her doctor is giving her Trileptal to replace the Dilantin and Concerta to replace Ritalin. Trileptal won't make her so drowsy and has even less side effects and Concerta will do the same thing as Ritalin, but she'll only get one dose a day. Karen will be scheduled for and EEG and MRI, I just don't know when that is yet. And Karen will go back to the doctors office about 2 months to see what changes in Karen have been made. So, looks like we got what we wanted...No more Dilantin. Just like Forrest Gump says, "That's all I have to say about that".
Karen is still dancing when we get her in her bed, she always kickin and movin, and lately very noisy. She always lookin at me and who ever walks in the room. I want to take her back to the mall or anywhere in town very soon. She seemed to like that very much.
Well, times running down the street, better catch up!
I love you Karen!!!




While you池e gone
I値l keep the place neat
I値l do good in school
And be the best I can be.
Whenever you're done searching
for whatever it is you need
I hope you remember to think of me.
While you池e gone,
I値l be waiting for you
on hand and knee
And I値l pray for you
My best friend
I値l remember you and everything that
made you beautiful.
I値l love you everytime I think of you
And I think of you all the time.
I look at a flower on the side of the road
On my way to come see you.
I think of the butterfly that will land on that flower
And that everytime you see a butterfly
You think of Kaitlyn.

Sunday, July 27, 2003 1:22 AM CDT

Oh Karen had a wonderful day today at the mall this morning. We left at 10:00am for a 2 hour shopping spree. She got a cute butterfly hat that looks so good on her, and she got some ear rings and necklaces (mostly Butterflies of course) and some body spray. She even got to see a Cockatoo atthe pet store. Raising his wings and crest, she made some kinda noise, I don't know if she liked it or was afriad of it. The time flew by so fast we didnt get her everything I wanted. But she responded to the trip so well we are planning another trip. Jack and I decided we definatly need Brenda there with us, Otherwise Karen might come back with football jerseys and stuff. Hehehe.
When we got back (I thought this was funny) she looked so disgusted at the place, like, Oh? Here again? But she was so vocal all - day - long. She didn't stop "talking" til 9 at night! Dayum girl! She was reachin for the phone and lookin at anyone who'd listen. I am so proud of you Karen!
I love you!

Friday, July 18, 2003 9:21 PM CDT

Monday, July 14, 2003 0:14 AM CDT

Karen has had a very exciting week. Tuesday was her last day for the antibiotics. (Two meds gone) She scheduled for an EEG July 30th, if it shows no seizure activity we'll know then when we can take off of Dilantin. I can't wait! Let me tell you she did today, I was working with her, try to ge ther to kick her legs on command, nothing worked until I offered her $20.00, then another $20.00 plus the keys to my truck. Turns out our Karen is cheap. She try anything for $40.00 and a ride. Hehehe. She also kicked her leg for me really good Thursday ...but I forgot why.
I told her if she keeps this up I'll take her to the Mall this Saturday. Not that there's a condition for her to go, I'm still gonna take her. We haven't been shopping since before her accident. And Jack and his family will be there too! A family outing...{too cool!} I would like to do this for her at least every other week. I think that'll bring her quality of life back up and hopefully something else for her to fight for. SHOPPING!!!
I am really proud of Karen, what a remarkable, amazing woman she is. After all she's been through, she still fights. She's not the only one either. I'm adding some more links at the bottom of this page if you would like to read of other people's progress. The hardships they endured and the seemingly impossible odds they overcame are trully remarkable.

David Wheeler's Story
Chasin Reynolds Story
Kim Oakley's Story
Miranda Treece's Story
Terri Schiendler's Story

THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!!!
Thank You so much!

Tuesday, July 1, 2003 7:27 PM CDT

Karen is back at Bayside now. Her 5 day stay at Hamot was a pleasant one. The Nurses and Doctors took really good care of Karen. She still has pnuemonia but the antibiotics are working and she's getting better each day.
I had to leave early today because after sleeping in that chair for 3-4 hours a night, I am tired.
Karen's still kicking and it looked like she was happy to be back. I noticed something that looked like her big smile today. Yeah, you remember that? Her facial muscles aren't as strong as they once were, but it looked very familiar and really great to see. Well, I'm off to bed. Im getting an early start in the morning. I can't wait to see my Karen!
I LOVE YOU KAREN!!!!

Thursday, June 26, 2003 12:40 AM CDT

Today has been an exhausting day for Karen. 4:00 in the morning Karen vomited and aspirated in her lungs. She was then ambulanced to Hamot Emergency Center and treated for pnuemonia. Thank God they got to her in time. She still has a slight temp, she's recieving two anitbiotics to fight the infection and she has slept most of the day. For now she's doing OK. I will be here with her all day today and all night. The doctors say they'll keep her here for a few days and this will give her a chance to rest. Karen has been working so hard lately. I mean, She knows what's going on. She can't tell me this but I know. I can see it in her eyes. She knows and she wants out. She wants to go home. Luckily I live only 6 blocks away so I can walk when I need a shower or to eat. But I will be here most the time.
I'm also taking a leave of absence from school because I can't seem to concentrate on anything. I can't sleep anymore and all I do is eat and look up references to TBI on the internet. I should've gone to Brain doctor school. I'd be a whiz at it by now.
Karen is scheduled for a EEG and a SPECT scan soon. Just don't know when yet. It is then we will know when they can ween her off of Dilantin. In my opinion a terrible drug if you never had a seizure. It slows impulses in your brain, which in turn, slows everything down. Something Karen desperatly does not need. I'm not going to leave her room number like I did in Tulsa because we're not going to be here that long. For now you can send cards at the address on the main page of this website and please sign the guestbook so I can read it to her later. and I'll be happy to read them to her when we get there
Oh also, Karen was kicking pretty hard this morning so I know she's still fighting. Dayum girl, Take a break!
Thank you all for checking in on Karen
Well I think I'm going take a little nap, Karen looks peaceful sleeping now.
I love you Karen. I love you Boogaloo!

Friday, June 6, 2003 12:19 AM CDT

I talked to Dr Blackford and it seems everyone is in agreement, that it's very unlikely Karen had a siezure that Sunday. More than likely it was in fact Karen having coughing on secretions. The nurse that night was a remp and did not know Karen very well at all. So, he's recommending her off the Dilantin after a EEG test in a few days. This is great. I've been waiting to see if there is any benefit of the prozak she's now taking.

The other night (Wednesday) I noticed Karen raising her knees, VERY HIGH) I was shocked because she hasnt moved anything since her "siezure". ANd this wasnt just kicking like she has always done. She almost touched her chin this time. Then she raised her left knee, and then bith knees. I didnt know what was going on. Her hands were clitched tighter than a drum and her face was very calm. That told me she wasnt in pain but trying to do SOMETHING. She's done that evernight since then. I dont know why but she's always been the most active in the evening.
For as long as it's been, she still finds the strength to try and break out of her imprisoned mind. This is one determined woman. I am so proud of her. She's my Karen!!!

Sunday, June 1, 2003 6:50 PM CDT

{CHEMOANGELS} YOU GUYS ROCK! Karen got a bunch of mail today. THANK YOU!!! I read a few of them before I went to school and her eyes got all watery.
...got me all misty.

What a beautiful spring day it was today. Karen is doing pretty good. Since the seizure activity, they reduced her Dilantin level and Karen has been awake pretty much all day.
Lately she just looks around but I noticed when see looks you she's really looking at YOU. Let me explain...Sometimes it seemed she was looking near you or through you. Does that make sense? Anyhoo I can see a difference there. Although she's not moving like she used too. Alot of that is attributed to the Dilantin in her system. She has a few minor Tremors that Dr. Blackford says is siezure activity and the Dilantin is calmng it down.
I had a real inspiration the other day. Now, I've talked to other people with TBI and it's true everyone is different. But I found a webpage about a woman who's journey and life is quite similiar to Karen. The webpage is here Read all about it. But it gave me a boost in Hope for Karen. Karen will home one day. One day karen and I will be sitting at the breakfast table eating Biscuits and Gravy talking about this. This will happen. How do I know this? Because I believe in Karen. I believe that God is the only one who can save her and I know he will in his time. I get excited about this when I think of it. I look forward to the day she comes home. You Betcha!!!
Well time is running down the street!

P.S. Thank You Chemo-Angels for checking in on Karen. She loves you guys and I know you love her.

Friday, May 23, 2003 10:03 PM CDT

Karen gave me another scare last Sunday. The Nurses told me had a seizure at 4:00am. She's never had one before so I was sceptical. Because she aspirates alot and chokes pretty often on her saliva. So when she does that she shakes pretty rapidly and if a nurse that wasn't too familiar with Karen didn't know this then I could see how that could be mistaken. I just find very odd and strange. Good news after this tho'. I haven't seen her aspirate since then. So if nothing else, she seems more comfortable. Also she was more vocal for a few days after that, but lately she's been sleeping alot. I figure that could be because they put her back on Dilantin which if you remember around Nov-Dec we took her off of it. Dilantin is an Anti-Siezure Med she was one to prevent any siezure from happening.
Again, the more I think about it, the more I doubt she had a siezure. I was also told the docs found nothing on the CATScans and blood work.

I still believe she can make it through this. Believe I read and studied alot about TBI's and people who have been in the hospital for 5 years, still work thru it and eventually go home. Some able to reenter society and work and some stay home. But I know there's hope for Karen. I believe in her. I love you Karen

It really something too, I read my school books to Karen. It helps me study and she gets to hear me talk to her and a good way for us to interact with each other. But she looks at me and then down at the page I'm reading. Could be she's really paying attention. Hmmm. I hope so.


Here's a story for you to read, Karen seems to like it.

There is a story about the armadillo and the gull and
it goes something like this.
There is no rhyme or reason
it just has a really strange twist.

You see the armadillo was strong and set in his ways
He protected himself within his shell.
He was grounded,
industrious, and strategic.

Now the gull was always lost in flight
She hid in the clouds.
She was a dreamer, carefree,
and hopeful.

Till one day
when the lightning struck
and caught his armor
exposing him to an
unknown dimension.

Till one day
when the lightning struck
and caught her wing
diving her down to an
unknown reality.

Their worlds
collided and shook apart.
He took his armor and gathered the rain.
She took her wing and
protected him from the wind.

For a moment they were one.
Never to be who they were before.

That is the story of the armadillo and the gull.
Two different beings changed
by the differences they had
come to know.

What the future was ... no one will ever know.

Tuesday, May 6, 2003 11:19 AM CDT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!
Yesterday was Karen's 42nd Birthday. It was a pretty good day for her. She had lots of vistors over and got quite a few butterflies for her window. Thank You everyone. And since spring is here...finally...I'm taking up flowering for her. I'm not nearly as good as Karen but maybe if she sees me kill enough flowers she'll get motavated enough to tell me how to do it the right way. I'm amazed the one got her for Christmas is still alive.
Karen is still licking her legs, sometimes when I walk in the room her foot is over the side of the bed. She definitly trying to do something. I just wish I knew what.
Well, I better get back to class. Schools going really good. I'm learning alot and I know Karen is proud of me.

Monday, April 7, 2003 11:15 AM CDT

Karen just keeps better lookin everyday. She not doing much lately but when I walk in she still gives me a smile. I found out too that she's more active when I sit by her side talking to her. I have been getting some more sounds from her. Not very often but I am getting them. She's kicking alot stronger too. Sometime when I walk in, she has her blanket totally kicked off the bed.
When I sit by her side in her bed she looks me all over and sometimes moves her arm. I know she doesn't have real good control of her arm, it just goes where it will, but she moves it alot nonetheless.
I show the video of us playing around in the kitchen in Allentown and she gives a slight laugh. We were a bunch of nuts then.Karen loves life. As horrible as it was without her precious Kaitlyn, Karen still found ways to enjoy it. That's the kinda girl she is. It may take her longer than we expect, but I have faith in her that she'll find a way out of this mess she's in. And I'll be there to see her thru it all.

Wednesday, March 12, 2003 11:22 AM CST

Hey they finally fixed the page!
Karen is doing pretty good, But I guess not good enough to keep her going to therapy. Her therapy team has done an outstanding job. (Thank you Michelle, I think you're wonderful.)

Don't get me wrong, this is not the end. I still have a ton of faith in her. I talk to other caregivers and survivers and sometime these things can take up to 5 years. Some people do make it.We all know how strong a woman Karen is.
It's possible she might be moving to Meadeville soon. I don't know when yet. This is very hard for me but I'm managing to deal with it. If she does I wont be able to see her as much and truthfully, I don't know what I'll do.
Please pray extra hard for Karen. Do what you can to show her you're still here for her.
Well, I better get back to class.

Saturday, February 1, 2003 5:25 PM CST

Claire had all but given up
When she and Edwin fell in love
She touched his face and shook her head
In disbelief, she sighed and said,
"In many dreams I've held you near
Now, at last, you're really here."
"Where've you been?
I've looked for you forever and a day
Where've you been?
I'm just not myself when you're away."

He asked her for her hand for life
And she became a salesman's wife
He was home each night by eight
But one stormy evening, he was late
Her frightened tears fell to the floor
Until his key turned in the door.
"Where've you been?
I've looked for you forever and a day
Where've you been?
I'm just not myself when you're away."

They'd never spent a night apart
For sixty years she heard him snore
Now they're in a hospital
In separate beds on different floors

Claire soon lost her memory
Forgot the names of family
She never spoke a word again
Then one day, they wheeled him in
He held her hand and stroked her hair
In a fragile voice she said,
"Where've you been?
I've looked for you forever and a day
Where've you been?
I'm just not myself when you're away.
No, I'm just not myself when you're away."

J. Vezner & D. Henry (c) 1989

Friday, January 10, 2003 at 11:00 AM (CST)

Well, it seemed Karen was in a slump around the holidays. She wasn't doing muCh of anyhtIng really. But if you take a look back before her accideNt, she always got that way around the holiDays. There's no doubt in mY mind she still misses Kaitlyn. And everyday is still is a struggle without her. Now, lately she's been piCking herself up. (just like Always after the holidays). She's doing pretty good kickiNg the Yes and No buttons to communicate. She has alot of worK to do on accuracy, but for the most part(I think)She'S doing great. Karen is WONDERFUL!!!.
So far she's told us; she knows she's a Speech Therapist, She knows where we Met [AOL], She knows where she went to college. We have to keep it simple as not to overwhelm her. But I think this citYgirl is AWESOME!!. I'm so proud of you KAren!!!
I still get a smile and a kiSS every morning when I come in and go to school. She definitly knows who I am.

School is going great. I love it. I'm making a website for/about Karen for a project. It'll have links to other TBI pages as well as Childhood Cancer pages and a guestbook.
If you have any questions about her please feel free to Email me, I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
My Email address is at the bottom of the main page.
Love ya'll!!!

Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 10:57 AM (CST)

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! Our holidays were as good as could be expected I guess. Karen was a little down this season, but she gets like this every season, as you can imagine. Yesterday tho', I was able to get a few laughs out of her. Which was VERY cool! we haven't seen a laugh in quite a few months.
Otherwise, Karen's still working hard everyday. Everyday is still a struggle for her. Thank you everyone for checking in and signing the guestbook. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday.

Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 01:28 PM (CST)

Wow! It has been a long time since I added something in here. School is going really good. And Karen is doing wonderful. She gave me a real kiss the other morning before I went to school. First time in 10 months. Sometimes it's still hard to realize it's been 10 months. Still seems like her accident was yesterday and I'm still in the waiting room for her to get better and come home. Then at the same time it seems like I've been there for years. I remember one day Karen was waiting for me in the car while I was taking a test for a job. While I was gone, she wrote me a note on the back of a long receipt. Part of the note said, "Man this is taking forever! I miss you, Hurry the hell up. I love you! Seems ironic, I've been living those words for 10 months now, And I (we) have many more ahaed of us.
Sorry I dont have much more to report. Karen is still on her rampage of recovery, she's stomping her way thru her mudhole. I'm still with her and things are pretty much the same except for some new improvments here and there.
Thank you for coming back to her page and everyone have a safe and Merry Christmas

Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 02:06 PM (CST)

NEW PHOTOS!!
Have I ever mentioned how wonderful Karen is? Last Sunday afternoon, I sat Karen up, on the edge of the bed and she sat up on her own for at least 5 minutes. That was incredible. Monday morning she kicked the ball (soft kick) for Michelle. She becoming more and more aware as we increase her dose og Ritalin. I'm really starting to see more and more progress. It seems she's comprehending more that goes on around her. She snaps her hand in the air the best she can for a high five or to grab my hand. She still laughs at the funny things I do. She's truelly remarkable.
For halloween she was a butterfly princess. She donned a purple shirt, black slacks and a beautiful purple butterfly mask made of feathers. She was the most beautiful woman in the city.
I start school Nov 8th and I'm taking Web Development and managment. 18 months from now I'll be making web sites just like the one you're looking at right now. I've been wanting to do this for many years and I found a great oppurtunity to start now.
I know Karen is proud of me, She's supported me on this as long as we've known each other, but with the move and trying settle in, I just couldn't find the right oppurtunty.
Well, wish me luck.
Karen is on a great roll lately. Please keep praying for her and wishing her the very best.

Below is an E-mail sent to me and I since Thaksgiving is coming up, here are some real things to be thankful for this year.

I AM THANKFUL FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS
TONIGHT
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, NOT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING
DISHES,
BECAUSE THAT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES THAT I PAY,
BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY,
BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY
FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG,
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK,
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE.

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED
CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT,
BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT
THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT,
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND THAT
I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL,
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH THAT SINGS OFF KEY,
BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING,
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE
DAY,
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.


FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING
HOURS,
BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY.......FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL,

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF
ME.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 01:54 PM (CDT)

Karen just keeps getting better and better. She's just started holding herself upright in her chair. She'll start in a humped over position and she'll manage to sit up straight. Somedays are harder than others of course, but she's getting better at it. She's still making alot of noise and moving around. Mainly when she's in bed tho'.
I was talking to her the other night, about home, kids and of course Kaityln. I wanted to know if she remembers everything about her. Showing her pictures and movies and I could see her eyes turning red and watery. I know she misses her and still loves her, I just can't wait for her to say it.
As far as communication? SHe was making alot of noise, I mean A LOT of noise and I was asking her "What's wrong honey?" She kept moving around and making more noise. Finally she looked up at her "Feeding" Which is the Souped up milk she gets at night. Her food. She looked up at it and went "UUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!"
I said Oooooh! You're hungry! After her nurse hooked it up, she was content and shortly afterward she fell asleep. I kissed on her forehead, said "Goodnight, I'm so proud of you, I love you"
This has been such a long journey. Going on 9 months Oct 30th. She come a long way so far. And as I've said many times before, She still has a long journey in front of her.
I believe she'll make it. I have faith in her. I believe in Karen. I know Kaitlyn is around her, and is also very proud of her.
Well, thanks for keeping up with Karen.

Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 12:12 PM (CDT)

Karen is off of Sinemit and now taking a small dose of Ritalin twice a day. At first it seemed all she would do is sleep. most of last week she slept all morning, but yet wide awake and alert in the afternoon and evening. Yesterday and so far today, she has been awake all day long. and wanting to talk...wow. she makes a noise, I copy her, then she copies me, and this goes on for for quite some time. I love it! She's getting better at getting the ice bag off of her right arm, she still has trouble with her left. But eventually she gets it off.
Her eating (swallowing) isn't what it used to be, but then again we havern't worked on that for awhile either. We just cant work on everything in one day. But I think within time everything will come together.
Halloween is coming up, anyone have any Halloween jokes?
Any of you that have kids, what are they dressing up as for Halloween?
Well, Karen is doing pretty good. I know this is suppose to be this slow, but Wow! 9 months have gone by so quickly.
Seems not long ago she was sleeping in ICU with tubes and wires hooked up to her. But look at her now. I never seen such an amazing, wonderful and strong willed person.
Well, everyone have a happy and safe Halloween!
Love ya,
Patrick

Friday, October 11, 2002 at 02:54 AM (CDT)

Karen struck a good impression with Dr. Blackford the other day. He wants to d/c her Sinemit and start her on Ritalin. It's supposed to have the opposite effect as kids with ADD who take ritalin. Karen is getting better at controlling movements in her right arm. We put a bag of ice on her arm and she has to find a way to get the cold off of it. It takes awhile but she gets it. She's condratulated and you should see the proud look on her face.
Seems we're focusing, or going to focus, more on getting her in a standing position. She seems to do really well standing up. I hope the Ritalin does what we hope. My hopes are always very high, but in the past they have been tamed a little. Not brought down, just tamed.
Still waiting on the pool and waiting to see if she goes back to the TMJ specialist.
I have faith Karen will make it back to us. I know it'll take more time. But I see it in her. She wants it, she wants it so bad. She'll come back, and when she does...world look out!!!


Dear Karen,
I love you. Ilove you so much. Remember when you would ask if I was sure I loved you with the issues going in your life? And I would tell you that it'll take alot more than this to scare me away. Well, you fell in a big wet sack of more "issues" but still....it'll take alot more than this to scare me away. And you'll never be alone.
I love you honey.
Patrick

Saturday, October 05, 2002 at 02:38 AM (CDT)

Well now. Stirred up quite a ruckus here. Well, I won't feed the fire in here. Just not the place. I said what I said because I meant it. I feel no need to explain myself, I feel as though by now everyone should know me and Karen pretty well.
So, I'll just leave it at that.
We're looking around town for a pool for Karen to go to. It's not looking so good as the one we found only does group sessions. But we'll keep on looking. There's other options too like maybe a tub, if we can find one big enough.
I'll let you know more about that later. Karen gave us 2 laughs with sound yesterday. First time we ever heard that.
Today Karen was really good. We had her on the tilt table and almost straight up. About 80 degrees. And she looks all around rather quickly at times. Moving her arms and legs. She's still moving them uncontrollably but I can see her trying to control it. It's real hard for her. The other day she moved her entire arm all the way up, which is rare to see.
Well, it's getting late. Thank you everyone!
We love you

Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 11:35 AM (CDT)

Karen has been doing really good at reaching for things.
We'll ask her to grab a ball, or a brush, anything and she'll slowly move her hand towards it. She can't quite get her hand open yet so we have to put the object in her hand for her. Then we'll ask to to drop it in a cup. and she will. This is wonderful. Her first attemp to follow a command. With the abilty to follow thru with it. I'm so proud of her.
Soon, (Hopefully in the next 1-2 weeks)Karen will be going to the pool for aquatherapy. We're hoping because of the significant drop in a gravitational pull that she'll do well there. I've heard nothing but good things about aquatherapy and look what it did for Chistopher Reeves. I'll let you know more about that as time goes along.
Halloween is coming up and I'm thiking about dressing Karen up. Any suggestions what as? I was thinking about dressing her up as KISS. Whatyya think? Too much make up? Anyway, I better get going. Karen is still progressing. I cant help but thinking about taking her home. The day is getting closer all the time. I have so much to do. Her room so far so getting to be more like home. Karen never had a surface in the house uncovered. She loves clutter. And I've so much stuff in there, I was looking thru Wal-Mart and their flower pots and I couldn't think of where to put one.
I wish I had more of hers stuff to put up, but Mr. Butthole stole all of that. Well, I guess somethings never change.
C'ya next time!

Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 04:38 AM (CDT)

Once upon a time there was a man
searchng for his woman all over the land.
Ever since he was a boy he knew
she'd be beautiful and funny, just like you.
He searched the world over by land and by air
healing his heart by trial and error.
She was living in Allentown and caught his surpise
when the sound of her voice put a gleam in his eyes
She told him stories of joy and pain
and how her life would never be the same.
They talked for days and upteen hours
Soon their love blossomed like the most precious of flowers.
Days full of joy and nights full of love
this could've only been a gift from the Lord up above.
To hold her heart like no body could
He's waited his whole life, of course he would.
Then tragedy struck once again in her life
Oh how deep it hurt him, stuck like a knife.
He stays by her side through sickness and health
times ever so hard but their love is their wealth.
It may look like spring and feel like sunny weather
but it's a cold day in July And I miss her more than ever.
So he rekindels old memories while she sleeps in her bed
and he strokes her hair and kisses her head.
To show her his love has and will never wander
and will always be true and never to faulter.
For his life without her is like a porch full of windchimes,
and no wind to sing their beautiful rhymes.

Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 12:52 PM (CDT)

Howdy Ya'll!!!
Karen went to her Neuro Doc last Thurs and he discontinued her neckbrace and Dilantin. FINALLY!!!
Whew! I know she was tired of all that. It's been a week now since they've weaned her off Dilantin and I don't know if what I see is due to her having less of the drug in her body or if it's just her. But she's been reaching for things alot better and holding on to them alot better. She even let's go of them in my hand once in a while too. It seems her favorite thing to hold is a paint brush. I put a paint brush near her hand and she went for it. I helped put it in her hand and Michelle put some paint on it and asked her to paint something on a piece of paper and she stoked up and down. Just a few lines there but to me it's a masterpiece.
It'll take another week to get the Dilantin out of her system and of course I'm full of all kinds of hopes.
I hope she'll say something, I hope she'll move better. Ah hell, I hope she gets up and walks out the door, tell me to get in the truck and take her home. I had downloaded some pictures of Tulsa and showed them to her. I told her "This is where wanted to live, This is Tulsa. Do you remember Tulsa?" She looked at the picture, looked at me and looked at the picture again and then back at me and smiled. I hope to god that meant what I thik it meant.
I miss home, I miss my kids, I miss evrything we used to do. I realized something when Allentown was looking so good compared to Erie. It's not Allentown I miss, it's everything we did together in Allentown. Just like McAlester. We didn't find such a great place to live, But I missed it. later to realize I missed the things we did together in McAlester. Not the town. We fell in love with Tulsa. It's a nice clean town with everything we both like. It's a big city with all comforts that Karen enjoys, and yet it's right in the middle of Cowboy country for me. It's clean and crime is low and it has the neighborhood we both fell in love with. A place where she can let go and not think of all the "bad" she had to deal with in Allentown This is where we want to live. I just wish there was a place where Karen, my kids, myself all of our good friends could live close to one another.

Well, I hope she can come home soon.
Well, Just wanted to let you know Karen is getting better and even tho' it may be slow, it is steady.
Thank you everyone. You are valued and so very special to us. Please continue to sign and say hello.

Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 06:16 PM (CDT)

It's been quite a week so far. Karens has been Beginning to show alot of movements and vocalizations. They Other day she was so loud in fact, she woke up the lady next door to her as well as her room mate. Just "practicing" her vocal cords. From what I hear form a nurse, A nurse and her aid asked if she was ready for meds and she actually replied "no". I wish I was there to witness that, if it really was in fact a word. I haven't noticed any strong facial muscle movement that would enaBle her to minipulate a sound into a word like that. But who knows??? I coulda swore I heard her say "Hi" May 10th.
Anyhoo! Tomorrow Karen goes to the neurologist to see if she can't get that neck brace off and what the progress has been in her brain. . And also to see what we can do about the Dilantin she's on. It's am Anti-Siezure med that also slows her down too. So tomorrow will a big day. Please pray for some good news.
I think she doing wonderful. I'm so proud of her. I can tell a large part of her memory still remains functional. Long and short term. Which by the way is great to see. Did I mention that?
Well damn, Time is up. Hopefully soon I'll write a little more. Thaks everyone. We love you!!!!!

Monday, August 26, 2002 at 02:07 PM (CDT)

I guess it has been awhile since I've been here. Just trying to fit in working, seeing Karen and trying to sleep has kept me away from for awhile. Karen is wonderful. Just ABSOLUTLY WONDERFUL!!! I am so proud of her. She trying to talk more, actually it seems like some of her sounds don't take as much effort as they used to. I was sitting in bed with her this morning and she was laying pretty much flat, after a little while I noticed she had bent her legs most the way up. WOW! I said to her. Look at what you did!
I still get my smile every morning when I arrive and they seem to get bigger all the time. There's no doubt she knows who I am. And I still think she knows more than we think she does. She still laughs at the same jokes and funny stories she used to. And thanks to Marcia, Bob (Boston) and Kathy F. for visiting this past weekend and sparking great memories for Karen. You guys came such long distances to see her. I she means alot to you guys.
Thank you!
Sept 5th she goes to the 'Brain Doctor" finally. to see if we can't get rid of the neck collar. Her neck muscles just don't get the exercise they need to hold her head up properly. And to see if we can't get her off of Dilantin. Which is an Anti-Seizure medication that as a side effect, bogges her down alot. And I feel if we can get her off, we might see another big change for the good.
Karen has been seeing a TMJ specialist because her jaw "Pops" when she yawns and this causes quite a bit of pain. He's been doing a great job relaxing her muscles. But I guess it a process that time becuase her jaw still pops. That's one thing I've learned to cope with. "It takes time", "Time will tell", "In Time". Sometimes I think Time can kiss my....toe.
Well, I'm doing fine, the economy stinks in Erie so get get by the best I can. I'm looking into going to school in the fall. Web Design seems to have sparked a big interest in me and I found a coarse for tha here.
I better get going, Time is running down the street. etter go catch it.

Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 08:37 AM (CDT)

Hello everyone. After looking ths page for awhile I guess I should've told Karen has changed rooms. She had her own room for awhile, (one where the AC works) and alot more room. She has a roomate and she is a very nice lady.
Her new room number is Rm 42-B and I'm mentioning this here because I'll bet ya anything I'll forget to change it below.
Karen is keeping it steady with the laughing, smiling and trying to talk. Not to much has changed, but that how it's been going for awhile. It's like she'll do something great, and after we're all used to that for awhile she'll do something else.
Sometimes I can't believe how long it's been since her accident. I look back and wonder how she ever made it this far. I mean, she was pretty messed up back in Jan/Feb. But she's slowly making her way and deservingly earning her bragging rights. For example, it's nothing to us (or her) that she can move her eyes and head anywhere she wants to now, But just a few months ago she couldn't.
Every morning when I drive to the home from work, I'm thinking "This is the day she will talk" That seems to be the biggest thing for me. To hear her voice. It's like music to me I can barely explain it. I've been doing alot of reminecing ( can't spell) lately. I think my fondest memory is the drives we used to take. In Allentown it was driving down Hwy 100 and winding up in Delaware. Wow, what a surprise. And this HUGE bridge in the distance and really wanting to drive across it. Well, I found the bridge, we drove across and as you can imagine the thrill was over just as fast as we reached the other side. Going back was a different story. The bridge had an arch to it and I didn't see the toll booth until I was right there. I drove to the toll guy and Kinda upset I said, " hey! I didn't see any toll signs???" He yelled back at me "11 OF EM! AS BIG AS YOUR CAR!!!!" Well I kinda sunk down in my seat, paid the guy and got outta there fast. I was no longer Mister cool guy in front of Karen. She laughed so hard.
Anyhoo, They just rolled Karen in the room with me so now my attention belongs to her.
Thanks everyone!!!!
Love ya!!!!

Saturday, August 03, 2002 at 11:14 PM (CDT)

I will wait for you

I sit here and I wonder
how much longer
will her mind wander
Validation comes and goes
my heart fills with joys and woes
Reminancing is my way
of enjoying our life day to day
Memories of us are glorious and sweet.
but realization doesn't retreat
My hopes, on the other hand, are strong and true
Just as strong as my love for you.
You're healing more as time goes on
but why on earth must it take so long?
I want you now, I dont want to wait
I pray to God to open your gate
And let it flood of what you hold
to share those stories of what you told.
You're precious and rare
There's no one like you anywhere
My Karen, My beautiful Karen
I love you with all my heart
My beautiful Karen

Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 03:58 PM (CDT)

Karen is WONDERFUL!!! I saw her drink small glass of cranbery juice today. Yesterday morning and this morning, when I arrive from work, she is very excited to see me. ( I just have that effect on people) Her eyes get real big followed by a real big smile and sometimes I even geta little sound. She's still trying so hard to talk. So hard infact she sweats. But realistically, she'll talk when her brain is ready and able to function. I feel as though, she'll also be moving everything more smoothly at that time. The healing of the area in her brain that controls motor functions is the big factor there. I know she wants to talk and move and walk and she understands everything in her envionment but, it's the getting everything going is being the problem right now. But just as I tell her, we have to patient.
He brain is healing slowly for a reason.
She had a haircut last week. Like she used to wear it for years before and she looks so much like the Karen we all know and love. She looks so good. Some of aids are wanting to highlight her hair too. I just might let them to help dye some of the gray she's getting. (You didn't hear that from me) As soon I get more pic of her all dolled up I'll put them on the web page. She really does good. I'm so proud of her. Her laughing is getting better too. No sound but sorta like a whispering chuckle. She really likes it when I make fun of You know who. I get the biggest laughs, she still laughs at the silly songs we used to sing. THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY HA HA. THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY HO HO HE HE HA HA. TO THE FUNNY FARM WHERE LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL ALL THE TIME... And it's a real treat to see her like that. More like great big relief. Knowing she's able to comprehend what's being said, remembering the subject of what's being said and finding some humor in it. It tells me that the wheels are turning in there.
This has been such a long road so far and trying to think of things we used to laugh at I'm discovering seem so long ago. It's like rediscovering our history all over again. It's bitter sweet. The memories are sweet and realizing what has been dealt to us (excuse the pun) feels like being hit by a truck.
Anyhoo! I better get back, Thank you everyone for sticking with us. I tell Karen all th time how many wonderful friends she has out there. And I want you all to know how much I really appreciate you. I good to come this web page and finding new messages in here. It's a wonderfl feeling knowing we're not going thru this alone.
We love you!

Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:17 AM (CDT)

NEW PICTURES!!!!!!
I added some pictures of Karen smiling. Isn't she beautiful!
3 days now she's been laughing, at anything. Jokes, funny stories or just being goofy. I see her memory is still there, her sense of humor is still there, and this is GREAT! She's coming back, just like we thought she would.
I was singing, " Where oh where, are you tonight, why did you leave me here alone" from Hee-Haw and she laughed, we all laughed.
Also, she's still reaching for things, trying to hold on and let then go with her hands. She's a little slow, but that's to be expected. She's determined and I know practice, she'll get better at it. Just like she's been doing wih everything else.
Well, time is running down the street!

Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 12:04 PM (CDT)

Karen was laughing yesterday!!! Can you believe this???? Jack came by last night and was telling her childhood stories, and she was laughing along with Jack. This is just incredible. I had to grab some nurses form the hall to witness this. I'm so happy I can't find any more words. WOW!!!
Also, in speech, we had some twizlers and I bit one in half and gave her one half. She watched me put it to my mouth and bite. Then she moved hers to her louth, but could only get it half way there, then she tilted her head down to reach further. She could'nt rech so I helped her put it in her mouth and she moved her tongue around it and tried to bite.
Since Saturday, I've noticed, She's been trying really hard to talk, move and everything. The attemps are strong and I think(or at least hope) that she'll be talking, or something extraordinary soon. I'm still not over her laughing yesterday. WOW!

Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 03:56 PM (CDT)

Happy Forth of July everyone. Please light some fireworks for Karen. If it's nice enough I'll take her outside and watch the fireworks, if not, they'll be on TV from D.C. and we'll watch them there. It's been so hot lately, too hot to take her outside and I think they finally got the AC working in her room.
Karen is still doing some wonderful things. She's moving her arms and legs more. She's opening her hands, reaching for things and still trying to speak. She's smiling every morning now when I enter the room in the morning which is great to see.
I really do think something BIG is on the way. I can see a huge amount of determination in her and that she so despiratly wants to come out.
Thank you all for being here for us, I can't express my gratitude enough.
Well, I hope everyone has a great and safe holiday and I will talk to you soon.
Love, Patrick
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:

...If you're alive, it isn't.

-Richard Bach

Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 05:17 PM (CDT)

This afternoon was GREAT!!! Karen was very alert and trying to so hard to do things.
She was moving her arms legs head...everything and trying to speak. And this time, Michelle was there to see it. I was so glad. I told her Karen did this a few days ago, and this time I hope it gets documented. The Administrator came in today also and he was very pleased with how well Karen doing. Well, for that matter, everyone that works around her can say nothing but good things about Karen.
We had a family meeting this moring with Jack, Michelle, Dr. Blackford, and her Case Manager. And the meeting was very good. I think Jack and I were very pleased with what we heard.
Again, nothing but good things. But always keep the "not-so-good" in mind.

Well, I better get back to my sweety, she had that look in her eye when I left.
Here's another poem I wrote tho'.

Butterflies and Daffodils
Therapy and Mommy skills
Weekend drives and Internet
Staying home, Dinner in bed
Wind Chimes, Paint a wall
Five little cats, She loves them all
Crazy dancer, can't keep a beat
Bites all her nails, can't reach her feet
Coffee mugs, Decco style
On the phone for quite awhile
Angels. her favorite things
Her very own has Butterfly wings
Flea markets and Eating out
This is what Karen is about


Love you guys!!!!!

Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 01:31 PM (CDT)

Today Karen went to Hamot for her Swallow Eval. and she did great. Nothing went down her lungs. Hmmm sounds great huh? She's still smiles everyday and I'm very pround of her.
I wrote a poem for Karen last night and I want to share with you.


I'm still me

Though I can't talk today
I can hear everything you say
I'll move my arms, hands and legs
as soon as I can find a way
Someday's are just bad days
I still remember my angel flying away
So don't dismay
If it seems I won't play
Some nights I just lay awake
because everything is feels so strange
as I'm strarting to realize my pain
Then some days are OK
I know my best friend is on his way
He has faith in me that one day
I will look at him and say his name
So please continue to pray
and one day I WILL be able to say
"Thank you for not looking away"

-Patrick

Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 01:16 PM (CDT)

Good News Today!!!! We got the results from her MRI today and her Spinal Cord and Brain look better than what the doctor expected. Her neck brace will soon be gone, as soon as her doctor will discharge it. She's had that thing on for over 4 months now. Eeek! He didn't anything wrong in her Spinal Cord and he did see where the damage is in her brain. I talked this over with the Speech Therapist covering for Michelle. From where the damage is in her brain, and from what the doctor said, there shouldn't be any major damage to her memory, personality or anything on the left side of her brain. Seems the right side and midbrain are still showing signs of damage. But are healing. Unfortunantly, there's no way to tell how much longer it might take for Karen's brain to fully heal if any more at all. (Lord knows we know that already!)But I can tell you that I am definlitly seeing alot things I haven't seen yet.
She's moving her arms and opening her hands more. She's kicking her feet and legs alot too. Now all this is great, but she still can't fully control it. If she wants to move her arm UP, her arm might move to the right. Now that she can do all these things she has to learn to control them. Yesterday she looked like she was trying to pick herself up out of bed. She stuck her tongue out last week as I was trying to get her to say something. And moving her head, neck and eyes is a BIG improvment.

Karen is definitly improving, working very hard to come back to us. Her brain is healing. I have always had faith in her and I always will. I believe in her and I believe that God has a plan for her. And that he loves her more than all of us do.
It must be something extraordinary.
Thank you everyone for being here for her. Please continue to storm the gates of heaven with all your prayers.
IT WORKS!!!!!

We love you

Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 03:05 PM (CDT)

If the river is high, I'll be your shore
If it's love you need, I'll give you more
You can count on me, that's for sure
I belong to you
If you cross the line, I'll cross it too
Anywhere you go I'll go with you
We'll cry some tears, but we'll make it through
As long as were together

Everything in my heart, I'll give you
Everything in my soul, is yours too
Everything that I am and will ever be
Take it from me, take it from me
Take everything

I'll give you all that you can take
I made a promise, and it will never break
You've got my heart, make no mistake
Just take it from me

Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 01:53 PM (CDT)

I'M BACK!!!! Did ya think I forgot about ya??? No way, I've been so busy lately with working and seeing Karen and finding time to sleep in between. Karen is doing so much better lately, I'm so happy to see her like this. She moving her head all the way left and right along with her eyes. And smoothly too. She used to get stuck half way. But now she watches everything. I mean EVERYTHING! I take her outside alot now that it's warming up and she lkes it. She hears all the birds chirping and tries to look for them. She's vocalizing more and her Speech Therapist, Michelle, would like to see her Verbalize by the 23rd of this month. She's been doing great things with Karen in the short 2 weeks she's had her. She even buys her stuff. This is great. She bought her a blue T-Shirt with 3 butterflies in our flags red, white & blue. stars and stripes. She made her a slide show of family and friends that we can play for her on a computer.
Therapy here isn't as strict on the time schedule as it was at HealthSouth, If they go over 30 minutes, fine. She gets alomost an hour, twice for speech everday. And the Nursing is very punctual when it comes to her meds given on time. I'm liking it more here than I thought I would.
Michelle has a date set for Karen on the 23rd of June, If she gets better she can go back to HealthSouth, if not she can stay here a little more. Either which way, I think She'll do fine.
Well, Time is running down the street, Better go catch it.

P.S. SARAH!!!! Please tell Michael we love him and I hope we can get his *** up here soon. I'm sure he'll be thrilled.
And we have the perfect picture with him, Kaitlyn and Karen sitting on the couch in Allentown.

P.S.S. I really hate to really ask for anything, but if anyone would like to send some phone cards, it would be greatly appreciated. I love you guys

Friday, May 31, 2002 at 01:31 PM (CDT)

Today Karen went to the hospital for an MRI of her head and neck. They know there's a spur in one of her vertibrea and what to look at it some more. And also to what else they can find. I'll know more about that nesxt week sometime. Let's all hope for the best. SO far Karen is doing good here. We made some friends at the home. They come by her room or see us in the hall and say Hi and ask how she's doing. They're all really sweet people. Therapy is going good. She's actually getting more here than at HealthSouth. 1.5 - 2 hours of speech and an hour or more of OT & PT a day. all 5 days a week. I like that. She's looking around alot more and more aware of her environment. so far in speech she's up to about 4 oz. She's eating pudding, yogurt, and even mashed potatoes!
Well, I'm running out of time. I will write more next week.
We love you!!!!!

Saturday, May 25, 2002 at 03:26 PM (CDT)

Karen made it to Bayside Thurs around 2:30pm. She got to ride in a van in her brand new wheelchair. Thursday evening she was quite vocal and very alert. Moving her head and eyes to anything she could get in sight. She still remains to be vocal more often than usual and this is good to see. Still waiting for her to say something when I ask her to tho'. She is still getting the same amount of Therapy she used to get. One thing I like here is they are very punctual when it comes to her schedules.
She got a brand new wheelchair last Wednesday and it's pretty cool lookin'. It's the frame is red and everything else is black and a lot of neat things that adjust to her needs.
Wel, just found out I have to leave in 5 minutes so I'll write more when I get a chance.

Wednesday, May 22, 2002 at 09:32 AM (CDT)

Karen will leave for Bayside tomorrow, May 23rd. I'm not giving up. And this is not where the bus stops either. She's my best friend. Karen will progress and she will talk and walk when her body is ready, no matter where she is.
When she shows enough progress HealthSouth will come evaluate her so she go come back. This week she not has slept as much during the day (Which is good!) She's been as alert as she used to be. I set her angel bear on the edge of her table and asked her to reach for it and she did. Slowly of course but I can see that there's more of Karen waiting to come out. Perhaps her brain needs some rest? No body knows for sure. But I will remain by her side for how ever long as it takes.
You never know, this Nursing Facilty could be the progress we've all been waiting for.
Keep Storming Heaven. Karen's reving her Monster truck.

We love you!!!

Saturday, May 18, 2002 at 03:04 PM (CDT)

Karen has a discharge date for May 23rd. That is if she doesn't make more progress. From here she may go to Bayside. A skilled Nursing Facilty here in Erie. I will give the address when/if we get there. She will continue to get her therapy and if she makes consistant progress there, she can come back to HealthSouth. She's been alot sleepy for the past 2 weeks. I think it's because she's not sleeping at night. I was fortunant to spent Wednesday night with her, to make sure she slept all night. She did and Thursday she was back to herself again. It was great to see. Although, I didn't get to stay with her the next night and I'm sure once again she didn't sleep and Friday she slept most of the day during therapy. I'm battling my way thru the system to see if I can't stay more frequently. I'm finding there's alot to distract her at night. Nurses talking out load, leaving the TV on when she should be sleeping. I'm also finding she's not getting her med's on time. Her 12:00 meds have been as late as 3 hours. Sometimes she only gets 10 -15 minutes of therapy instead of the 30 she's supposed to get. Sometimes they forget all together.
I believe if everything was scheduled correctly and given her the rest she needs when she needs it, Karen would be staying here another 4 weeks.
...I used to tell Karen all the time that no matter what happens, I will always be there for her. She would never have to struggle alone again. She would always have me to depend on. And that she always can.
I've tried talking to other people responsible for her care about my concerns for Karen, then to be disappionted to find out their concern is only limited.
Well, I still remain to be right by her side
I'm still here everyday and I manage to maintain my life outside of the hospital. I hope Karen will be proud of me when she returns home. I believe she can fight her way out of this mess even if the odds at hospital are against her and even if the same people who caused her grief with Kaitlyn's Cancer are still causing her grief thru this.
Those of you who still pray for Karen and believe in her, Thank You. I value your friendship. We can't pull thru this without you.
We love you.

Saturday, May 18, 2002 at 02:33 PM (CDT)

Karen has a discharge date for May 23rd. That is if she doesn't make more progress. From here she may go to Bayside. A skilled Nursing Facilty here in Erie. I will give the address when/if we get there. She will continue to get her therapy and if she makes consistant progress there, she can come back to HealthSouth. She's been alot sleepy for the past 2 weeks. I think it's because she's not sleeping at night. I was fortunant to spent Wednesday night with her, to make sure she slept all night. She did and Thursday she was back to herself again. It was great to see. Although, I didn't get to stay with her the next night and I'm sure once again she didn't sleep and Friday she slept most of the day during therapy. I'm battling my way thru the system to see if I can't stay more frequently. I'm finding there's alot to distract her at night. Nurses talking out load, leaving the TV on when she should be sleeping. I'm also finding she's not getting her med's on time. Her 12:00 meds have been as late as 3 hours. Sometimes she only gets 10 -15 minutes of therapy instead of the 30 she's supposed to get. Sometimes they forget all together.
I believe if everything was scheduled correctly and given her the rest she needs when she needs it, Karen would be staying here another 4 weeks.
...I used to tell Karen all the time that no matter what happens, I will always be there for her. She would never have to struggle alone again. She would always have me to depend on. And that she always can.
I've tried talking to other people responsible for her care about my concerns for Karen, then to be disappionted to find out their concern is only limited.
Well, I still remain to be right by her side
I'm still here everyday and I manage to maintain my life outside of the hospital. I hope Karen will be proud of me when she returns home. I believe she can fight her way out of this mess even if the odds at hospital are against her and even if the same people who caused her grief with Kaitlyn's Cancer are still causing her grief thru this.
Those of you who still pray for Karen and believe in her, Thank You. I value your friendship. We can pull thru this without you.
We love you.

Saturday, May 11, 2002 at 01:19 PM (CDT)

Karen said "HI"

At 10:40am Karen was sitting up in bed and I was talking to her about our future plans and everything we've done together in the past. She looked directly at me as in determination ( I thought she was gonna poop!) and she said "Hi"
Oh my God I thought I was gonna freak. Although since she only did it for me, her nurse did document that I heard her say it and to look for her talking soon. That seems to be how it's working. She'll do something for me one time, then about a week later she'll do it for a staff member.
After that tho' she's pretty tired. She still sleeps alot during the day which is not usually like her. Her muscle relaxants were increased to help loosen her muscles, there always so tight. But getting better.
We're still not sure tho why she's so tired.

In a family meeting last Thursday we talked about Karen going to a Skilled Nursing Facilty (Nursing Home) for awhile. Seems she's not giving us the positive consistant progress we've been waiting for. I think she still has it in her but she's just tired. But if she doesn't make any progress she'll be leaving here May 23rd. Still not sure of where tho'. If she keeps trying to talk and talking to Therpaist and nurses she can probably stay.
Either way. I know she will keep making progress. I know Karen, no matter how much this accident may have changed her. I don't think it has changed her will or her heart. She's been through alot a hardships which have all changed our Karen but they have never changed who she really is.
Thank you and keep storming heaven!!!
Patrick

Thursday, May 09, 2002 at 12:20 PM (CDT)

I said a prayer For Karen.

I lit a candle in the dark,
in search of what to do.
Then I got down on my knees,
and I said a prayer for you.
I cried out for some comfort,
and I pleaded with the Lord.
I said, "If you'll just fix her,
then I'll ask for nothing more."
He said," She's right there with you,
and she's got you by her side.
She sees how bad you're hurting,
and she knows how much you've cried."
I said, "I do not know your reasons Lord,
and I do not understand.
But somehow I can feel you,
when I hold her lonely hand.
He said, "I'm in control here,
and you have to trust in me.
For Karen's only resting,
and her pain will be set free.
So rest upon my shoulder,
and let me guide her through,
and when this journey's over,
I'll send her back to you.

Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 09:38 AM (CDT)

Howdy Y'all!
Karens record so far for most swallows in one session is 5. This morning she broke that record for 6. This morning she had an ounce of Cinnamin Applesauce and we'll keep trying for one more each day. She's still very sleepy during the day. I couldn't get her to stay awake so I came here. I'm glad it's right across the street. I still wonder how she sleeps at night. If at all.
Well, so far she's still fighting. She's tired but not defeated. I can still see the determination in her very sleepy eyes. She wants out of this...this trap she's in. She wants to go home.
She had a wonderful birthday party. Jack, Brenda and the boys came over and we all sang "Happy Birthday" to her and the sound echoed down the halls. It was good. She even puckered up to kiss little Matty. That was way cool! I got her a cheesecake pudding cup with a candle in it for her birthday cake and she had one bite. She didn't like the Cherry topping on top tho'. I think it was bitter. We all went outside and the boys played and she sat and watched. I think she misses interacting with everyone. But the more incintive to get better huh? She got alot of Birthday cards in the mail so if you're wondering if she got it, I'm sure she did.
...And she got the butterfly too. That is just too cool. Thank you!
Sylvia, she got the flowers and they're beautiful. I'd say she made out pretty good this year. She got more love than you can shake a stick at. Thank you everyone.
We love you!!!

Monday, May 06, 2002 at 11:37 AM (CDT)

Sorry I haven't written anything in so long but our computer was stolen by someone we all know. And it seems I won't get it back until Karen says she wants it back. It also seems someone was very upset that I was using Kaitlyn's website to inform people who love both Karen and Kaitlyn of Karen's progress. So, that's why I made this page. Kaitlyn is still very much a big part of our lives. She's a huge part in Karen's life and in her therapy. It seems if nothing can get Karen's attention, the mention of Kaitlyn definantly will.
Saturday, Karen was awesome! I put a photo album (the only one I have left)in front of her and the way she looked at each and every picture would've astounded you. She looked at every one as if she hadn't seen them in them in years. she looked at me like "where did you find this?" I asked her if she remembered when these were taken and she nodded her head yes. That was way cool!
I asked her to say her name and fought and fought made a few sounds for about 3 hours. The girl is fighting, she's determined and so am I. What ever they take from me they can never take what Karen and I have held on to for the past 19 months.
Karen had an EEG last friday and I'll find out what they found tomorrow. I'll do my best to relay that to you. This friday she has a CT scan and the following Tuesday I'll know what they find in that. Again, I'll let you know as soon as I can.
I just want to say I'm so thankful and I feel so blessed that we have friends like you. You're a big part of Karen's healing. I let her know all the time that you love her, are praying for her and you believe in her.
We love you!
Patrick

Monday, April 29, 2002 at 09:07 PM (CDT)

Karen is scheduled for a CT scan May 10th. The Doctors will look at her brain and spinal cord. They noticed in an X-ray she has some narrowing of vertebrae C-2 thru C-5. There is alot that could come of this CT. Good or not so good. Let's pray for her and that we can find some good.
If anyone needs a break, it's Karen.
But I believe in her. Possibly more than anyone. I know everything there is to know about her and I know if she wanted to go to heaven she would've taken that oppurtunity in the beginning. But, she choose to stay and fight. Why? Didn't she say it best? So when she finally met up with Kaitlyn at the pearly gates she could say, "Mommy, I am so proud of you. You made something good out of your worst nightmare. You helped others who needed your knowledge and new level of compassion."
And she still has a life that is very much waiting for her to live. We have plans and goals. So many lives to reach out to and change for the better. And to enrichen our own lives. This experience has most definantly changed my life at the way I see the world. It has helped me see the flowers thru the weeds. She always told me how beautiful they are and appreciates and loves them with all her heart. And I can see for myself the value of such a beautiful garden.

Sunday, April 28, 2002 at 10:15 PM (CDT)

Karen is still seems determend to beat this thing. The look in her eyes and to actually see her work is incredible. I actually thought (in the beginning) that she would be too tired to fight. After all that she's been through already. But she's fighting, she's fighting with everything she's got. We're trying for communication now. She's been doing yes and no with her toes for awhile but now we believe we can get her to nod for yes and to each side for no. She's already doing a little of that already.
This week she will have a CT scan and another test, which I can't remember waht it is called, to see when we can take her neck brace off and what else we may find.
I'll let you know as soon as I can.I will know when it is tomorrow.
Well that's all for now. I love you all and thank you for visiting her new page.

Saturday, April 27, 2002 at 08:15 PM (CDT)

Karen was great today. She was very alert today. She moved her arms on command for her Occupational Therapist and she was very pleased. She's still trying to talk. There's movement in the lips and the sounds are following.
She is so awesome.

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