In Memory of Samuel Jacob Johnson
1/19/2000 - 11/5/2003

Sam at Give Kids The World - September 2003

Welcome to Samuel's Web Page. It has been created to tell Sam's story, to raise awareness of pediatric brain tumors, and to keep people updated about our family. PLEASE SIGN OUR GUEST BOOK SO WE KNOW YOU STOPPED BY.

Samuel was diagnosed with medulloblastoma in September 2000, when he was 8 months old. He had surgery, multiple chemotherapy trials and radiation over the course of three years. In spite of two long tumor-free periods that seemed to defy the odds, Samuel passed away in November 2003.

Sam was an amazingly happy boy. He had many special needs, but nothing stopped him from living each day with honesty, purpose and joy. He loved music, The Wiggles, Bear in the Big Blue House, Veggie Tales, playing drums, having the wind blow in his face, pulling hair, patty cake, bananas, Double Stuff Oreos, Krispy Kreme Donuts and milk. He was never worried or scared, and never felt sorry for himself. He is an inspiration and a hero to his family and friends, and we all miss him very much.


RULES FOR LIVING ACCORDING TO SAMUEL J.

BE HAPPY
He lived each day of his life with joy and purpose. It didn’t matter how sick he felt, where he was, or what limitations he faced, he found a way to smile and enjoy what he did have every single day. When he smiled, he smiled from head to toe!

MAKE THE MOST OF WHAT YOU HAVE
He never felt sorry for himself or coveted anything that he lacked. He could not stand up and dance on his own, but watching others dance brought him joy rather than envy. He also had his own way of sitting and “dancing” that pleased him just as well. When his body started to fail him in the end, he accepted it without complaint and found new ways to enjoy his life.

LOVE SOMEONE
I am lucky enough to have been the main object of Sam’s affection, which is one of the greatest blessings I’ve ever known in my life. I also saw how that love gave him joy, comfort and peace in his life.



BE HONEST AND TRUE TO YOURSELF
He never left anyone wondering where he stood about anything. His ways of communicating could be as subtle as a look in his eyes or as dramatic as sweeping his dinner plate onto the floor. He never left any doubt, though, about what he was thinking. The world’s pressures never led him to put on the masks so many of us feel pressure to put on to be accepted. He always did things his way – no compromising!

HAVE COURAGE
Fear wasn’t something he ever entertained. To him it would have seemed a pointless waste of energy. He faced every trial head on, calmly and patiently, without worry or anxiety.

BE STRONG
He always faced his trials head on. He never gave up. People often said that his dad and I saw him through all of his struggles, but the reality is that he saw us through. His perseverance lifted us up and kept us going. The weakness and emptiness we feel without him is evidence of that.

NEVER GIVE UP
He always found a way to get what he wanted or needed. He always kept going, moving forward, no matter what obstacles came his way. I imagine he faced the end of every day, including his last, feeling like he had accomplished everything he wanted to do.

LIVE
He never wasted time – everything he did had a purpose. He never let cancer defeat him or change who he was. Even when his physical body was diminished, his true self - his spirit and soul - prevailed to the end. He refused to allow cancer to steal that from him – he simply went Home- quickly and quietly- on his terms. No wasted time.

Journal

Monday, November 5, 2007 10:57 AM CST

It's so hard to believe that another year has passed, and that Sam has been gone for 4 years now. To acknowledge this has been really painful for me. Sam has been gone for longer than he was here. That thought just makes me feel sick inside. I have been struggling so much this fall, more so than last year when I felt like I had "turned a corner" so to speak. I cried uncontrollably in church yesterday when we sang a hymn that was sung at Sam's funeral. I felt almost panic-stricken, like I had just realized he was gone. That has happened several times in the past couple of months. I feel almost as though I'm moving backwards in this whole grief thing. Like maybe there's something wrong with me for not just continuing to go forward and feel more whole and restored with each passing year. I know that I am a broken spirit that has been put back together as best as could be done, so I suppose I should accept that there will be times until I leave this earth when a weak spot will tear open again. I guess that's the way it is when you are left behind by someone who you love with all of your heart. You just have to do your best to carry on.

Thanks for stopping by and thinking of Sam today.

Kelly



Samuel-

I love you and miss you still. You were such a gift to all of us. Such a wonderful example of courage, joy and strength. Thank you for loving us and being ours, even if your time here was much too short. I wouldn't trade a minute of it. I hope you feel the same. Be happy.

Mama

Read Journal History

Hospital Information:

There are no hospitals in Heaven
Family Address:
P.O. Box 75
Oakdale, PA 15071

Links:

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Note: The foregoing information was authored by the patient, parent or guardian, or other parties who are solely responsible for the content. Such announcements or their content are not necessarily endorsed by CaringBridge, Inc. or any sponsoring agent.  This information does not confirm that anyone is or was actually a patient at any facility.