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Journal

Saturday, May 30, 2009 3:16 PM CDT

Hi! Long time, no write. I should give up this page, but I won’t… I only hope that my use of caringbridge doesn’t keep someone in treatment from having one for themselves. I doubt that, so here I will stay.
So much has happened since I’ve last written. It’s not that we’re super busy, but rather that some much time has passed. So it’s time to catch up..
Dave is still working at Metso Minerals. He generally works at least 56 hours, but often more. The pay is great, especially in this economy, and we are very lucky. He took over as boyscout leader at the end of this year and really enjoyed it! He’s going the be the leader again next year and I am so glad that he and the boys have this together time without Mom in the way. I know that the boys are proud of their daddy and so am I! In Dave’s spare time, what little there is, he enjoys playing video games with the boys and just relaxing and watching TV. He actually has his own facebook page now and I’ve been surprised by some of his postings. It’s a great tool for me because he’s not big on having deep conversations about his feelings and he’s shared some there that I wouldn’t have know were going through his handsome head.
I recently got hired at Aldis and was so excited! I’ve always wanted to work there because I knew the pay was great for retail and was thrilled and quite proud to have gotten hired! They are pretty choosy and getting hired was quite the feather in my cap! However, it was not meant to be. I’m not big on passing the buck or playing the victim, but I worked there for 9 hours and came away rather beat up from the experience. I’ve not shared all that happened during the 9 hours with many people, but those that I did understood why it’s definitely not the place for me.
SO… on with Premier I go. I wasn’t planning on quitting them, but I was willing to put them on the back burning for a bit. That would have been a huge mistake! Where else do you make 50% to snack and chat with wonderful ladies?? Thank God for Premier! It’s an amazing company and I intend to build my future there! It’s been 2 years and with some increased effort on my part, I believe it will make a tremendous impact on our financial future! By the way,,, anyone wants free jewelry?? :O)
Nicholas and Daniel are my sun and my moon! They are so loving, kind and good hearted and I couldn’t ask for better kiddos! I am so glad that the dark cloud of grief has lifted for me, at least enough that I am able to see their love for me. Their last day of school is Friday and it can’t come soon enough for any of us! I hope their report cards don’t reflect the difficulty the four of us have been having fitting homework in… whoops… Both of my smarty pants boys were on the honor roll last marking period and I’m really hoping that they remain there for the last…
Well, that’s all I got about us.
Now, onto Michaela. My precious angel.
Please don’t think I don’t miss you every single minute of every single day.. There’s nothing in my life that would be better, brighter and more enjoyable if I had you here with me. However, you can’t be here. For whatever reason, God only knows and I hope to someday, your place is in Heaven. I accept that there’s nothing on earth that can compare to what you’ve got goin’ on “up there”. I pray that Jesus isn’t disappointed that I run passed him to your arms when I get to Heaven. Everyone better get out of my way cause I need my Michaela hugs!!! I have to admit that along with the acceptance I have found, I also have a relief. I’ve watched so many angels gain their wings and what was the hardest was the unknown. How much pain would be endured before they, and you, pass? I’m glad, really glad that there is no unknown anymore. It’s all very clear to me and I know I’ll be with you and I truly am grateful for that peace.
I love you, Baby Girl!
Momma

Hospital Information:

Floating on the clouds and resting in Heaven with far too many other children!

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