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Lindsay Rochelle MacIver 
February 20, 1983 -- July 21, 2004
My love for you is not written on paper, for paper can be erased,
Nor is my love for you etched in stone, for stone can be broken.
My love for you is inscribed in my heart, where it shall remain forever.
Journal
Monday, February 20, 2012 10:44 PM CST
Hello ......
Twenty-nine years ago today at 4:27 in the morning, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, Lindsay, and my life has never been the same. I will celebrate her today as I always do ... the sweetness of her smile, the gentleness of her voice, and the goodness of her soul will stay with me all the days of my life. I thank God for allowing me to be her Mother, and to have her here with me for 21 years. I love and miss you Lindsay .... Happy 29th Birthday !!!
The above message is what I put on Facebook .... telling the world about my beautiful Lindsay. I miss her beyond words, and I find myself consumed with the "what would she be doing now" questions. I'm not good when I don't get answers to simple questions, so you can imagine how I feel about this one.
This is the eighth birthday that has gone by without being able to kiss her, hug her, and let her know how special her "birth" day is to me. Prior to her going to Heaven, we had our "birthday routines" (as I've mentioned in my posts before), such as breakfast and shopping, etc. Well, I didn't do any shopping today, but I did have a mass said for her, and Monsignor Wetter said her name perfectly. A little later on we went to see her to put red roses by her stone, and to attach a big birthday balloon to the wreath that I have there. It was just Frank and I (and Steve too, who happened to come at the same time) because Chris, Tara, Jaiden, and Paige are in Florida at Disney World, and Janelle had to work (Deanna wasn't here yet). We then let one green balloon go up to Heaven with our message of love. We all made a bet before releasing it as to which direction it would go (remember .... she likes to shop ... lol), but this time, it went straight up. Must be due to the tough economy ....
Later on, Frank, Janelle, Deanna and I went to Red Lobster. It was good, as usual, and we smiled thinking of how much Lindsay liked it there. Someone said to me recently (in a joking way) "At age 29, do you really think Lindsay's favorite restaurant would still be Red Lobster?". Well, my answer to that is I don't know .... maybe .... but right now, my heart will stay with what her own words said to me.
Since her last birthday, a lot of things have gone on. One of them is the 7th annual "Lindsay's Legacy 5K Run" which went off without a hitch (thank you God). I'm very happy to say that because of many, very dedicated volunteers giving so much of their time, energy, and ideas, along with the generosity of our sponsors, runners, walkers, and people who attended the event, we were able to donate another $18,000.00 to Roswell Park / Carly's Club, bringing our grand total to over $108,000.00 !! I'm also very happy to add that our numbers (as far as runners) pushed us up so far that we are now #1 in the region as far as 5K's !! That excites me beyond belief ... not because we're number one but because of the attention that being number one can bring to pediatric cancer, and the need for research dollars. I just know that we'll see a cure in our lifetime !!
I'll end my posting now with a heart full of gratitude for all the wonderful messages on Facebook, and on my phone etc., all in celebration of my sweet Lindsay. I know she is watching from Heaven, and guiding us all.
Love you,
Bonnie
Read Journal History
Hospital Information: Was treated at: Roswell Park Cancer Institute
Links: http://www.lindsays5k.com Devoted to raising research dollars to find a cure for childhood cancer
http://www.carlysclub.org Pediatric Research Division of Roswell Park Cancer Institute
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