Journal

Saturday, June 14, 2008 7:16 PM CDT

Today is a date that is forever etched in in my heart, and weighs heavy on my mind. It is the diagnosis day for Kristan's disease that she HAD - June 14, 2002 - Yes that is 6 years ago! I remember the day very well, even though I spent years trying to forget. Kristan had been having fevers off and on and petichae. Those were really her only symptoms, but when the fever came back blood was drawn and we discovered low counts. She had two different times her counts recovered on their own, not sure how with no drugs to help. The doctor that made her diagnosis was in the process of moving to a different area and it was pure amazement we had him there. (Talk about being at the right place at the right time, you could get no better than that!) You see they originally thought she had a severe case of CMV, in which she tested poss. for. He was the only one who found her disease, with it being so rare. If it were not for him, being guided by God above, she may not be with us today. We are so grateful! I remember the conversation and thinking WHAT IS A BMT? I just stared at her little face and everything that was being told to me sounded like blah blah blah, I literaly could not hear them talk and would not make eye contact with them. I flat out ignored them all like I was in a trance, a frozen shock of a trance. It is such a cold bitter place to be, no one should ever have to go there. I could cry just thinking about that day. The part that is so wonderful now is that we can look back and see this in a different light. We are so thankful they even found her diganosis, that she made it through the most horrible transplant, and that she looks so good today. She is a picture of good health and I love that smiling face that never stops. She made it through Kindergarten this year and did very well. She is such a strong girl in strength and will. She is my precious miracle child that I love with all my heart. We are so blessed to have been able to carry this cross, meet all the people that came along with us through the journey, and to have gotten to strengthen our faith in the Lord. Because of HER, not only would we have possibly missed Ethan's diagnosis, but because of KRISTAN GRACE I am now strong enough to fight this battle with Ethan...

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