|
Ron Rice's Page Welcome to our web page for Ron. It has been provided to keep loved ones updated. You can always reach us at 763-856-2564 26224 150th St Zimmerman, MN 55398
Journal
Wednesday, February 16, 2005 4:29 PM CST Hello for the last time.
I don't know if anyone will see this, but I didn't want to end it with the funeral arrangements. So I thought I'd write one last note and paste in here the tribute to Ron that I read at the funeral on Tuesday, for those of you who weren't able to be there. God only knows how I made it through the whole thing.
Thank you again for everything that you have all done to support Ron and I, and you are so thoughtful and supportive of me now as I try to move forward with life. God holds a special place for each of you as do I. It was wonderful to see many of you over the last few days, even though I would have liked to choose different circumstances. It touched my heart to see how many lifes Ron touched with his.
Here is what I read.
Ron, Reggie, Donny Brasco, Ronnie, Ronald, My Ron, The Sun God, Skippy, he went by many names, and was many things to many people, but to me he was like an angel. Yes, I did say angel, and yes, we are talking about the same Ron Rice. He was not an angel in the fact that he was innocent by any means, I would never accuse him of that, but in the way he flashed through my life when I needed him most, and he loved me more purely than I thought was earthly possible.
I don’t know if any of you ever noticed, but Ron could be a little stubborn from time to time. Well, I’m personally so glad that he was, because there was twice he didn’t give up on me. First was when we first started being together more often. I was not looking for or interested in a relationship. I fought it all the way. I would tell myself things like, “nope, I don’t like him.” Or “this is not happening, we are just friends”. I’ll never forget the day that I “took off my gloves” so to speak. I was living in my sister’s basement and Ron and I were going downstairs to watch a movie. He stopped me in the doorway, turned me around and hugged me. He told me “I know you think this is happening fast, which it is a little, I’ll give you that. But, but, but just hear me out…I can’t wait until 2 months down the road, 2 years down the road, 10 years down the road, because I’m going to be able to say that I loved you so much in the first 2 weeks and just as much 2 months later and 10 years later. I believe that you can fall in love with someone over and over again and I just keep falling in love with you.” He also said “I’m taking out all the stops and am going to give this relationship everything I have. It may not work out, but it won’t be because I didn’t try.” At that moment I realized what a fool I was for trying to ignore this wonderful gift that God had brought to my life.
Thanks to all of you who already knew him, you could have warned me that it was useless to try to NOT love Ron.
He had this essence about him, his eyes were honest and genuine, his spirit full of life and love. He lived life to the fullest each day. It was practically impossible to find something the 2 of us could do together that he hadn’t already done. He just loved living. He always told me life was too short, I guess he somehow knew.
It would take no time at all for Ron to grow on anyone. People who knew him only for a few hours just felt drawn to him. What can I say, he was loveable. From the stories I’ve heard, he was always the life of the party.
I learned so much from him in the short years we had together. He taught me what it felt like to be truly loved and accepted unconditionally. He taught me to stand up for myself, and to take more risks and not worry so much what people thought. He taught me to just live.
I find it close to impossible to think about Ron and not smile, his different facial expressions, the smart remarks, the way he danced like it was 1999, his famous tongue that has to be in hundreds of pictures. I think about his smile, his laugh, the sparkle in his eyes when we were having a great time with friends. The way he pretended to sob uncontrollably and block my eyes and ears at the end of a sad movie, how he’d lay his head on my stomach and say, “You can play with my hair if you want, I’ll let you” & if I didn’t right away just to see him pout, he’d say Honey, please, and pretend to cry, and all the other silly crazy things he would do. I just loved to watch him or just sit and look at him. As we were going through pictures the other day for these services, we laughed so hard. He is simply intoxicating. I think he was also intoxicated a time or two as well.
As hard as our last year together was, I would not trade one minute of my time with him for anything in the world. Again I was so thankful that God made him so stubborn. I truly believe anyone else would have given up the fight long before Ron even came close to losing. He just wasn’t going to give up. Those extra months with him are precious to me. He was inspiring to me and many others too. Most days we plotted and planned how we were going to beat this thing. Even on day’s I was sad, or worried when I thought I might lose him, he would say to me, “you just gotta have faith,” you told me that honey, you just have to believe.” So believe we did. He continued to climb whatever obstacle was put in front of him. Whether it was the cancer the first or the second time, the blood clots, the stroke he just kept right on saying. Don’t worry honey, it will be fine.
As time went by, his light just grew brighter and brighter, if that was possible. I was so proud of him and continued to fall in love with him more every day, if that was possible. There were no words to express our love for each other, we both just knew it, we felt it deep inside our souls. We fit a lifetime of love in the time that we had, and it was enough to last me the rest of mine. Both our moms said something to me over the last few days that just touched me. One said it was like we knew we only had a short time together and we didn’t waste any time. The other said, maybe he was going to die young anyway and I just got the joy and blessing of being a part of his life.
Over the last month, we hardly ever turned the tv on any more. We would sit for hours talking, reading a book or the bible, studying, praying. He asked all kinds of questions about heaven and what it will be like with Jesus, where there is no pain, suffering or sickness. When I came to something that said that we will be reunited with loved ones again in heaven, he said,”Really? That’s Awesome! See honey, I’ll see you again. Are you going to get sick of me spending the next 10,000 years with me?!” We then cried and held each other, then looked up something else. I think we began the grieving/healing process ahead of time. It is almost like God was preparing us because he knew our parting was going to be hard, and He gave us both a clear vision of how things will be when we meet again. He filled us both with His peace for when such things would happen.
We would pray similar to Jesus’ prayer before He was crucified, that this cup of death and sickness could pass from us, but also as Jesus prayed, that God’s will be done, and not our own. We surrendered our lives to Him. Ron wasn’t afraid, so I know I shouldn’t be afraid to face my future without him either. I know Ron is watching over me still, he will never leave me, he is part of me.
There is a song that helped to keep me strong throughout this last year that I’d like you to hear. Ron heard it in my car one night this fall after chemo. He asked me who it was and to play it again. So I did. Then he had me play it again and again. I think we played it 7 times in a row. It speaks about going through a valley even though it may not be the path we would have chosen, but because the Lord loves us, we’ll do it if He wants us to. And of how He never promised us that life would be easy, but that we wouldn’t face it alone. It spoke to my heart of the journey that Ron and I were on and we just needed to keep trusting and following the path that lead us closer to Jesus. After that night, it was the only CD Ron wanted to listen to. It comforted him as well. Now I see it talking of the valley before me, and all of us, now as we face a world without Ron. We will face these trials and the valley that is not of our choosing, knowing that the Lord isn’t finished with us yet, and trusting that we’ll see him face to face when we’ve completed the tasks that he sets before us. I want to close by thanking the Lord for the joy that came with being in Ron’s life, and for the freedom that Ron now has from all the trials that he overcame.
The song that I had played at this point was "If you want me to" by Ginny Owens.
Thank you again for the love that you showed me.
Kathy
Read Journal History
|
|
