Rachael Lynn Mayo November 15, 1983 - March 1, 2003
**** "You take the breath right out of me. You left a hole where my heart should be"
***** from BREATH, a song by Breaking Benjamin
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"Hearts will never be pratical, until they are made unbreakable." Wizard of Oz
The love is strong. The pain of loss is forever. Nothing will ever be 'good' again.
Rachael has always been amazing. I don't know if any of her friends still miss her, but I know Fred, Aunt Nope (Pat), Ross, and I long for her presence in our lives.
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Rachael was dx with Hodgkin's Lymphoma July of 2001. She died following complications from an unrelated cord blood transplant.
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"Real grief is not healed by time... If time does anything, it deepens our grief. The longer we live, the more fully we become aware of who she was for us, and the more intimately we experience what her love meant for us. Real, deep love is, as you know, very unobtrusive, seemingly easy and obvious, and so present that we take it for granted. Therefore, it is often only in retrospect-or better, in memory-that we fully realize its power and depth. Yes, indeed, love often makes itself visible in pain." -Henri Nouwen **** Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean. Tears from the depth of some divine despair Rise in the heart and gather to the eyes, In looking on the happy autumn-fields, and thinking of the days that are no more. - Alfred Lord Tennyson
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. - Henri Nouwen
Hi, my name is Rachael, and I've loved dinosaurs since I was about five years old. I'm almost nine now, and I still love to read about them. While I was reading, I found out that what I want to be when I grow up is called a vertebrae paleontologist. That's a paleontologist who studies dinosaurs. They also go out and dig up dinosaur bones.
I think about dinosaurs all the time. That's why I like to read as much as I can about them. But, I not only read about them, I even dream about dinosaurs. This story is about one of my dinosaur dreams!
TRUDY--THE TROODON
Trudy, the Troodon woke up one prehistoric morning, yawning and stretching. Her stomach told her it was time to find breakfast...the same as any other day. She walked out of her home, which was in a small cave in a big mountain, and wandered around stretching.
She started her morning jog towards the frog pond. That was where she usually found breakfast--frog legs, yum! But, this morning there were so many Troodons by the small frog pond she couldn't see what was happening. Finally, Trudy was able to budge through, and discovered an empty pond! There were no frogs to be seen! She thought for a minute, then left the crowd, and headed towards the Maiasaura nesting ground. She only went there when she couldn't find frogs to eat.
Trudy hid behind some bushes and was happy to see most of the Maisauras were busy eating breakfast. All Maisauras Are herbivores, and eat disgusting things! They loved to munch on cherries, berries, and leaves. Trudy looked at the leaves and cherries and was very glad she was a carnivore.
Trudy sneaked out of the bushes and carefully ran to the nearest nest. She was about to eat one of the Maiasaura babies when she heard a tremendous ROAR. She knew what dinosaur belonged to that roar--the Tyrannosaurus Rex. He was in a fight with the mother Maiasaura. She was trying to protect her babies, and hadn't noticed Trudy sneaking out of the bushes!
Trudy thought for a minute, and for some reason decided to grab all five of the babies and run off to a hiding place. It's a good thing Troodons were good runners. The Tyrannosaurus Rex noticed Trudy. Rex left the Maiasaura mother, and ran after Trudy. This made Trudy run faster! She dropped one of the babies, turned around quickly and picked her up. ..ah . ..him up. ..ah...whatever! It's hard to tell if Maiasaura babies are girls or boys. Trudy decided it was best to put all the babies on her back and took off racing towards her cave. Soon, the babies were jumping, rolling around, and trying to hang onto Trudy's back for dear life! It was a bumpy ride.
Just ahead Trudy saw her cave, and ran in the little doorway. The doorway was big enough for a Troodon and five baby Maiasauras, but it wasn't big enough for a Tyrannosaurus Rex. The Tyrannosaurus passed by the cave without seeing Trudy. Trudy had to tell the babies many times to be quiet. Finally, Trudy said, "If your not quiet, I'm going to eat you!" That made them 'zip their dinosaur lips.
That night, Trudy knew that the mother Maiasaura was probably worrying a lot about her babies. It took Trudy three hours before she fell asleep, because she was thinking and worrying about the mother Maiasaura and the babies. She was also very hungry, but not hungry enough to eat the babies.
The next morning, Trudy woke up before the babies, and went for her morning jog. She hardly had the energy to run, she was so very hungry. Finally, she saw some "rabbit road kill" from a speeding Tyrannosaurus Rex. She picked it up, smelled it, dropped it, picked it up again and put in her mouth because she was so very hungry. It didn't taste very good, but it stopped the growling in her stomach.
Trudy went back to her cave and found out the baby Maiasauras weren't there. She ran outside looking for them. But, all she saw were some little footprints. She decided to follow them. While she was following the footprints, she smelled frogs! So, she followed the smell and the footprints, since they happened to go the same way; and saw the baby Maiasauras drinking water from a pond. When she got closer to the pond she saw oodles and oodles of frogs swimming around. "Mmmn, breakfast, lunch and supper!" she thought. The babies got out of the way as Trudy plunged her head into the pond to get her food. As she munched on the frog, she thought, "Ahh, no more road kill for me!"
Later, Trudy picked up the baby Maiasauras, and ran towards their nesting grounds. She couldn't wait to return them to their mother. She also hoped the T-Rex wasn't still there fighting with the Maiasauras. When Trudy first got to the nesting grounds, all the adult Mai.asauras seemed to be ganging up on her. They knew she had taken the babies the day before, and they hadn't seen the babies return with her. But, the mother Maiasaura then noticed them on Trudy's back, and ran towards her to pick up her kids. She thanked Trudy for saving them from the mean Tyrannosaurus Rex. Trudy then became friends with the whole herd of Maiasauras.
She was made an honorary member of the Maiasaura herd, and never ate baby Maiasauras again. The babies often helped her find ponds with oodles and oodles of frogs for her to eat. And, surprising even herself, she "Was starting to enjoy eating leaves, berries and cherries.. Trudy the Troodon, a carnivore, was becoming an omnivore.
I think a story like this can only happen when I have my dinosaur dreams!
If you have an ill child, look long, hard and world-wide for care. I wish I'd looked further. I wish I'd found better medical care. Rachael's doctors did not treat her well. * * * * * Rachael's cremains have visited: All 50 STATES! Portugal,Scotland, Poland, Spain, Italy, Iraq, Malaysia, Singapore, Ireland, Bahamas, Canada, Norway, Italy, Denmark, Mexico, The French Pyrennees, Australia, Ireland, Japan, Korea, Turkey, Whitchurch, Nr. Stratford upon Avon,England, Snowdonia and Anglesey, North Wales, Rollright Stones, the Lot Valley in France. The FOREVER SPACE FLIGHT has ended in yet another failure. Rachael we love you and miss you. . .more and more with each passing day.
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