History

Journal History

Friday, July 30, 2010 2:04 AM CDT

Gabes Anniversary date is upon us,I could not sleep last night. Remembering when Ali called me in the middle of the night to tell me they could not get his blood pressure up,so I should come. I got there and he was stablized.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 11:08 PM CDT

Gabriel’s Breeze

Dawn guided me home to prepare for the unknowing day ahead. Beautiful, with her soft pinks, warm reds, light breeze, she told me to breath. I did.
I arrived feeling unsure as she did.
Dawn said goodbye, and with her departure came sunshine, but with sunshine the gusts became stronger and soon the clouds found their way.
We all surrounded you, overflowing with emotion we did not speak, we just held each others hands, hoping to gain strength from one another.
In the warmth and comfort of your mommas arms you opened your eyes, said a silent goodbye, and left to sail on a strong gust of the warm breeze. So, as your birthday approaches, and I sit outside and feel the gust’s of the warm breeze, I think of you,
and I breathe…

Sunday, August 2, 2009 10:18 AM CDT

It is amazing how a simple journal entry written seven years ago can bring back such strong emotion.
I invite you to visit and read Gabriels website today as we take time to celebrate his life.
I also invite you to leave a message for our family.

The quote below fits Gabriel perfectly,never cruel always kind.

“Let me not hurt, by any selfish deed Or thoughtless word, the heart of foe or friend; Nor would I pass, unseeing, worthy need, Or sin by silence when I should defend... 'The world is better that I lived to-day.'”

—Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850–1919); author and poet

Friday, August 02, 2002 at 05:47 PM (CDT)
Well I must tell you that this journey I have been a part of with Gabe has been incredible.

To know some many people in this world love and have prayed
for him hundreds of times a day in these last 6 months is a gift most people won't know in a lifetime.

Gabe is still here, we have decided to concentrate on making him comfortable as pain free as possible,and to help him pass on to his next journey with ease.
We don't know how long he will stay with us but we will enjoy every second of it.

I love Gabe so much,I will miss him more then anyone can imagine,I watched him come into this world. I will watch him leave.

One thing Gabe always wanted was to make a huge impact on this world,he obivously has.If you would please write and post a message on how Gabe changed or made an impact on your life.

Gabe you are a sweet darling of a young man I will miss your body in my house,in my car in the grass playing with Logan Mac and Mikala in the back yard.

*****Please take some time to write to Alison,Gabes Mom. She will needs us to uplift and carry her and Mikala*******

I don't ever want to stop writing.
I love you Gabe.

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

I will update throughout the evening

Sunday, August 2, 2009 10:18 AM CDT

Saturday, March 7, 2009 7:16 PM CST

Gabriel you come into my thoughts often. I just don't take the time to write here as often as I used to. While I write this I feel you here,I miss you,I miss your Dad,we all do.
Life just gives us many things,death of ones we love and treasure is one of them.
I have always known that death is part of life. But I have come to realize,with the help of your sweet soul,that we all have a time to be here.

Whether it be for a minute or for 100 plus years. None of us know. I just choose to believe that we all have a purpose. Some of us,we make the world better by being kind to one person at a time, some of us create music that soothes the soul,some of us create art that can also soothe the soul. Some of us create films that help us "get it", some of us get old and learn our purpose was to have babies,raise them,and have them find out beauty in our old wise words.
The point is none of us know how long we will be on this earth,with these friends and family. So,we can choose to believe that every meeting is to enlighten our path to our purpose or believe that life sucks and that it is hard.

It is those things Gabriel,you gave me the gift of looking at the light,looking for the good in everyone, and everything. I cannot thank you enough for that. I hope me singing "wonderful world" to you when we had are time together helped you. I love you forever and think of you often

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 8:40 PM CST

wishing you all a free fron sadness and beautiful christmas
I love you Gabriel and Ira You are in my thoughts.

Auntie Vicki

Friday, November 21, 2008 8:07 AM CST

Goodmorning,

I can't believe it has been two years since Ira left us hear on earth to go create and share his beautiful music,spend time with Gabe and all the wonderful angels up above. I have learned that life brings us some major challenges, and it is all how we decide to deal with them that help us through it or bring us down so we feel there is no point to get back up.

As I am writing, memories of Ira are passing through my thoughts, his silly life and wonderful smile are the strongest. Listening to him play at our wedding, his laugh,I will gone on but must get to work.

Please send gentle thoughts and leave memories for Ira's family who loved him so very much!.... His sweet Mother Simmie Leach, Brothers Anthony Ferguson, Kevin Ferguson, Robert Ferguson and Gary Price, Sisters, Kim Ferguson and Tammie Price, sons Michael Groves, Daniel Groves, Cameron Hodges, my sweet niece Mikala and my my twin sister Alison

Please take the time to leave a message for Mikala, she is a strong, beautiful, smart, but I am sure sad today young girl.

Love to you all

Memories are good to share so put one one the guest book.

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, August 3, 2008 0:41 AM CDT

Six years............. It seems like yesterday and I wonder where the years have gone. Gabriel,I still see you in my house,Mac remebers sword fighting with you,you had a golf club and he had a cheap plastic sword :) Logan remembers when Zach spent the summer here ,he remebers sword fighting too, the wind blew very strong for awhile yesterday and it made me think of you.
We are going to have a BBQ today,to celebrate the bittersweetness of your passing and your Dad's birthday.

I think of you often,

Love Auntie Vicki

Sunday, August 3, 2008 0:41 AM CDT

Wednesday, April 9, 2008 10:44 PM CDT

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to thank you for taking time to write.
Time is such a strange thing.This year went so fast,
I am working for the Minnespolis Public Schools now and this year flew by.

But.............When I think about Gabriel & Ira time
stands still,I remember much about when Gabe was at the U, not every moment, but I can feel "it" the elevator,
the vending machines,giftshop buying snicker bars,the parking ramp,the weather,,,,I feel it all. I love feeling it Because It is the last time Gabe was here in the psysical sense,there was hope there was routine, There was Gabe,,,,,,,,,,,.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008 9:43 AM CDT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABRIEL!!!!!!

Love Auntie Vicki

Sunday, March 30, 2008 3:46 PM CDT

Gabe's 20 birthday is coming up April 2nd. 20 Birthday!!! Oh how we wish he was here in the pyhsical sense. The strong winds this weekend made me know that he was here, We have'nt quiet figured out what we are going to do for his b-day,It is my husbands birthday too.
Last year we were in Floridia,we wrote Gabe's name in the sand and the next morning 1000's of beautiful see shells!!!

We hope everyone that was and has been a part of Gabe's life,our life is well and happy,if you want please sign Gabe's guest book and wish him a happy b-day!!

Gabe,

I want you to know that you are and always will be guide for me, I love you and will miss you forever.
All my love,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, November 20, 2007 2:00 PM CST

Tomorrw will be a year since Ira passed away.
Time has away of speeding by, but when the day that you have lost a love one comes it stops you in your tracks, and memories of that sad sad day make it seem like it was yesterday.
Ira I miss your laugh and smile, I miss your voice,
I especailly miss that you can't be here for Mikala.
I know you see how wonderful, beautiful and smart she is, she is so strong,and believes in herself, which is a feat at 13.
We will be together tomorrow to celebrate your life.

Love,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, August 3, 2007 6:27 PM CDT

12:00 pm August 3rd 2002. Gabriel took his last breaths
opened his eyes looked at us, and was gone. Memories are interesting things, I was talking to a friend the other day about memories,feelings. I told him that I cannot for the life of me remember how bad the physical pain of giving birth was.
I remember it was bad, but I can't remember the feeling.
I think, no I know emotional pain is different. I can pull up this like it is was yesterday, the helplessnes, sadness,anger, just like it was yesterday.....
I created a DVD for Gaberiels Aniversary of his passing.
I think in the past two days I have worked on it for a totally of 15 hours. It was bittersweet, going through oh so many family photos, choosing the music, and then watching
it akes me cry just thinking about it. I think it is beautiful.We will watch it tonight if all goes well.

I will also try to figure out how I can maybe get a link to here.

If you check in, in the next few days, drop a note we would love to hear from you.

As always,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, August 2, 2007 9:31 PM CDT

I wanted to post this entry because no matter others might say, the day always brings you back to the moments before your life changes forever.

Auntie Vicki

Friday, August 02, 2002 at 05:47 PM (CDT)

Well I must tell you that this journey I have been a part of with Gabe has been incredible.

To know some many people in this world love and have prayed
for him hundreds of times a day in these last 6 months is a gift most people won't know in a lifetime.

Gabe is still here, we have decided to concentrate on making him comfortable as pain free as possible,and to help him pass on to his next journey with ease.
We don't know how long he will stay with us but we will enjoy every second of it.

I love Gabe so much,I will miss him more then anyone can imagine,I watched him come into this world. I will watch him leave.

One thing Gabe always wanted was to make a huge impact on this world,he obivously has.If you would please write and post a message on how Gabe changed or made an impact on your life.

Gabe you are a sweet darling of a young man I will miss your body in my house,in my car in the grass playing with Logan Mac and Mikala in the back yard.

*****Please take some time to write to ALison,Gabes Mom. She will needs us to uplift and carry her and Mikala*******

I don't ever want to stop writing.
I love you Gabe.

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, June 27, 2007 0:26 AM CDT

Greetings,

I hope this entry finds you all living,learning, appreciating and loving everyday!!!

I just found out today that a coworkers Father passed away recently from complications from Lukemia, I am sad and send my thoughts to his family.

Friday, May 4, 2007 8:09 PM CDT

So, many days have passed since my last entry. I findwhen I come here it helps me find my place, grounds me, helps me slow down.
It is so easy for me to get wrapped up in my day to day. it fills my life up with so much good, so much frustration, so much stuff that I can't even think. Then I come to check
Gabriel's, and now Ira's site and it brings me back to what life is all about.
It centers me and brings back a flood of memories,as clear as day, a call in the middle of the night to many years ago
Gabriels blood pressure has dropped, they can't get it back up. I was laying in bed in this very room. I woke my husband
and called unity church, I said,you have to pray for my nephew he is too wonderful to die please do what you can, I was talking to them while I was driving to the hospital
and when I got off I asked Gabriel to stay strong.
I got to the hospital and he was stable,oh how I wish that
this was true now.................... My life, my busy life
keeps me from being sad everyday that my sister's son is gone, my nieces brother is gone, her father is gone and that a sweet wonderful caring smart sensitive incredible
person is not on this earth.

I love you guys,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 9:02 PM CDT

We went to Florida over Logan and Mac's spring break.
We stayed at a wonderful beach house with Ali and Mikala.
On the night of Gabe's 19th birthday on a beach of pure sand, ( it makes me sad and makes me realize how fast time goes) We wrote a Happy Birthday greeting in the sand, knowing that those wishes would be seen by Gabriel and washed away into enternity.
The next day we were enchanted by a beach full of sea shells. Most of them were in front of our beach. 1000's
of beautiful shells. We talked to many people during our visit and they told us it was very rare for this area to have shells. We thanked Gabriel many times for the beautiful
gifts he gave us.
Mikala found a stone with a perfect heart and foot print
in it. Gabe made sure his sweet sister knew he loves her.
I hope she can find it and I will post a picture of it .
I hope all of you are well and if you want just drop a
note every once in a while

Love,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, December 24, 2006 8:22 PM CST

Christmas Eve 2006. We just got back home from being with
Ali, Mikala,Krakers and Sarafina. We had a nice time Ali and Mikala made a terrific dinner, Chuck took a nap and THen we went a looked at Christmas lights.

We wish you a Merry Christmas. One filled with warmth
peace and light.

I love and miss you Gabriel and Ira.

Enjoy the day together.

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, November 26, 2006 8:06 AM CST

Ira's service was yesterday at the christian nightclub, Club 3 Degress. At least 200 hundred friends and family came to celebrate his life. It was a wonderful service.

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, November 22, 2006 9:56 AM CST

With a very sad and heavy heart I write today. Gabriel and Mikala's Dad Ira passed away yesterday very unexpectedly.

I will post more later. If you have any senitments or caring words to share please feel free to sign in and share.

Thank you for coming back.

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, August 6, 2006 11:15 PM CDT

Gabriel's aniversary has come and gone. I am glad that we do not rely on Gabe's website for support because I think we or at least I would have been saddened. Life without
Gabriel( in the body standing by us) is hard and sad.
I was introduced on the day of Gabriel's passing to a wonderful young man named Cameron. He is gentle, sweet,
gracious,funny,smart and kind. He came with us to lunch at
Gabriel's favorite resteraunt. He was part of us,he fit
and it was wonderful to have him here with us. God works in misterious ways......

I love you Gabe,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, August 2, 2006 10:30 PM CDT

Tonight we had our National Night Out Celebration It was postponed until today due to rain. It was a nice time Ali Gabes Mom and Mikala Gabes Sister came.
I have had people tell me this week that we should celebrate his birth,his life. I said we do celebrate his birth.

I also think that it is so very important to remember
the day he left us. My boys Logan,now 10 and Mac 7
said to me tonight why are you sad. I told them 5 years
ago at this time Gabriel was still alive. I could see him as the wonderful,silly, perfect boy he was. I hoped with all my soul and being that magic would happen and bring him back.

Does anyone else hold onto those moments? Even though they
are bittersweet they are memories and you don't want to forget them?

Gabriel,

You know I love you and I miss you! I hope that you are
helping other families get through the tough spots.

Please do something for the family that lost thier Mom
in Wyoming,It made me really sad to see that she had passed

Monday, July 31, 2006 8:39 PM CDT

If you would like to share your latetest thoughts of Gabriel on the site please do so,or just sign in to say HI we are thinking of you. :)

The day is coming closer***************Gabriel would have graduated from high school this year. It will be 5 years since Gabriel left us this Thursday.
Isn't interesting how time passes. Five years seems like a long amount of time. I think of the fact that that is the amount of time it takes a baby to come into this world and then grow and learn enough that they are ready to go to school. Or the amount a tree grows in five years,or a garden.
Five years,since Gabriel passed away from a disese that he was diagnoised with 6months prior.Five years since we have heard his sweet sometimes silly voice, Five years since I got to hold his hand,and five years since I got to let one of my tears fall onto his cheek,because I thought it was a
way I could send a part of me with him.Five years since I sang Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World'. by. Israel 'IZ' Kamakawiwo'ole ...
over and over again after he had passed not wanting to say good bye.,,,,................

Saturday, July 29, 2006 8:50 PM CDT

5 years is fast approaching.

Sunday, April 2, 2006 0:16 AM CST

I love you Gabe. Happy 18th.
MTC

LAV

Sunday, April 2, 2006 0:10 AM CST

I love you Gabe. Happy 18th. I think of you always and am so happy that we were picked to be your family. What a gift we got.

Look for the baloons.

You are the best my sweetie pie.

Auntie Vicki

Monday, March 27, 2006 9:00 PM CST

Gabe will be 18 years old this coming Sunday April 2nd 1988.
I watched him come into this world. His wonderful mother
told me I had to stay because she was having back labor,a blessing in disguise. Please as a tribute to wonderful,charming,sweet,funny,and very very missed Gabriel
sign the guestbook or e-mail me and I will forward to Alison and Mikala.

A poem that I found fitting for my hero.......

He is Gone

You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Author Unknown

submitted by Neil

Gabbie, Ilove you. You inspire me daily. What a wonder you are. I miss you more then anybody else can imagine because I know you know.

All my love,
Auntie Vicki

Saturday, March 11, 2006 9:42 PM CST

I love you Gabe. I had a whole entry written and I did not save it and it is gone. Maybe I was just suppose to get it out.

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, January 24, 2006 10:01 PM CST

Gabe is in my life most every day. He helps me keep it together.Helps me live my life. I miss him.I so wish that he was here with us,is that selfish? When I sit here and write I have such strong memories of him, Death is an interesting and frustrating thing................

I love you Gabbie.I wish you alive and living your life for me to see instead of just dreaming. I still can't believe that you are really gone. I have just shut it off.

I love you Auntie Vicki

Monday, December 19, 2005 9:52 PM CST

Greetings,

Christmas is fast approaching and with it brings so many emotions. For those of you that are lucky enough to have not lost a child I wish you a "very merry".

To those of you that have lost a child, my wish for you is that you might find a few things that make you smile or brighten your time.When you feel so fragile and sad that you have a true friend or a wonderful partner that is their to hold you and carry some of the sadness away.

I have found that when I come to Gabriel's site, my heart gets very heavy and I get very sad. So my writings are usually pretty tough.
Tonight, with the permission of the author I am letting you read an incredible e-mail that I received first thing this morning, it made me cry and smile at the same time.

It told me things I already new, like Gabriel chose great people to be friends with! And that he made an impact on lots of lives. But the e-mail told me something I didn't know for sure and that was, that people other then Gabe's family miss him and think of him. I am so proud to be Gabriel's Auntie and so proud of these friends of his.

Enjoy the e-mail below and I wish all of you that read this, an incredible New Year, and that you find a passion, something that lights a fire inside you, helps you realize that we all have a purpose in life.

I know that those of you reading this have done some incredible things in the past few years.

Be proud, a lot has been done because you lost your sweet sweet child ,step back, breath and see the wonderful things you have shared with the world because of your grief.....

Honesty, so much so that some people can't even handle it.

Beautiful Art and Stories,incredilbe gifts.

Time, love,and energies to create beautiful spaces, or raise money for different organizations.

We all have a purpose, I thank Gabriel everyday for helping me find mine. I would much rather see him graduating with honors this year with his friends.

He has given me so many gifts since he left us,insight,new friends,ideas,passions. I love him and miss him and I will keep his spirit alive. Below is the letter that Gabe's dear friend Peter wrote to me. Enjoy.......

Love and Peace to you All,

Auntie Vicki

Vicki,

Holiday greetings to you and your family! I hope that Thanksgiving went
well and Christmas will be joyful. You may not recognize the name offhand,
but I am Peter, one of Gabe's old friends from Minnehaha. We have
exchanged emails in the past.

Andrew Humason and I were talking on Instant Messenger tonight, and we
brought up many ideas and thoughts that we've had. It seems as though this
past weekend was a great cataclysm of things that had been on our minds,
including our various memories of Gabe.

After more than three years without him, in the midst of our senior year
of high school, we still remember. We have rather vivid memories of the
best of times with Gabe, and we wish that he were still here to share our
best of times with us. Thomas Hendrickson, Andrew Humason, and I still
hang out together every day. During middle school, there were times when I
jumped from social clique to social clique, feeling my way around the
newer environment... but now, these friendships that I forged and created
when I was a little boy playing on that playground with Gabe still stand,
stronger than ever. They surpass anything that I ever had with anyone
outside of that little group of us from lower school. We miss Gabe dearly,
and we want to share our memories and some ideas with you, Ali, and Mikala
sometime. Only last week we saw Mikala in a middle school choir
performance, and recent events have continued to remind me to come back,
find this website, and post in the guestbook.

Minnehaha, as you probably know, gets out on Tuesday, December 20, and
resumes on Tuesday, January 3. If there are any good days in between
during the holidays when we can all get together for lunch, that would be
a good setting to talk about our memories of Gabe's life and what he did
for us.

Please let me know how your calendars work out, and have a happy and
fulfilling holiday season. Certainly I, if not we, look forward to seeing
you over the break.

-Peter

Wednesday, November 23, 2005 8:42 PM CST

So I got very sad tonight. I was trying to explain to my boys about cherishing. I went on Gabe's site and broke
down. I don't look at him very much anymore because I could not save him and I feel really bad about that. I hope that
those of you that check in sign in. My boys are young. I want them to understand that we need to enjoy are days together. I am not a fatelist just a realist.

I wish you strentgh and so much love you don't know.

I love you Gabe I wish you were here to go to Omi's to eat
tomorrow. I hope you are OK.

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, November 12, 2005 9:24 PM CST

I miss Gabriel so much. But I am not stupid. I know that I can not bring him back. But I have my memories........
We all have our demons and our fights.I remember when Ali, Gabriel and I went down to the Mayo Clinic to see if they could figure out why his counts weren't going up after his bone cancer.
We went out the night before his tests and had a wonderful dinner, Ali and I drank wine and got silly. Gabriel, Ali and I laughed so that our stomachs ached. We went back to the hospital room and pretended we were at a hotel the nurses thought we were very strange and very silly. It is one of the memories I treasure most. I had bought Pajamas at the Rochester Target I can't throw them away because I wore them that weekend. Anyway the next day the Doctor came in and we knew that what he was going to say was not good. He told Gabriel
he had Leukemia.We all took it in stride and Gabriel and I left the room so Ali could call my Mom and tell her. Gabriel and I went and sat by this beautiful mosaic fountain and he said he already knew he had Leukemia. I said we will get through this,and that all we have is today.

Saturday, October 8, 2005 8:24 AM CDT

Hello,

Well it has been a really long time since I updated Gabe's site. I think about him everyday,I am sure we all do. What I have realized that I stuff alot of my feelings about him lately. I feel them start to come up and then I push them down because I know there is nothing to fix them, does that make sense. My Mom came to Logan's student of the month this week and told me that she felt like Gabriel was visiting her, a very strong sense of him in her home,you used to go down to house almost every weekend before he got sick. Then she said she knew how proud he must be of Mikala
because she is doing so well with her school work and volleyball. I got tried of aching and being sad so much.
So the pain and sadness never go away they are just covered up.I miss all of you that used to sign Gabe's site and I don't blame you for stopping. I check still check your sites but didn't want you to think I was invading.

Take care of yourselves,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, August 2, 2005 10:41 PM CDT

Dear Friends,

It is later then it seems,and the hands that are typing look much older then they did three years ago.I miss Gabriel more then you can imagine. Some of you might think that I don't because of my lack of updates.I have realized that life is HARD and it is even harder when a sweet inocent nephew dies. Please Read and share,it makes us feel good,even if we don't know you, Also please read the journal entries that I posted

Sunday, April 25, 2004 11:43 PM CDT

I just saw that two days from now,TWO years ago I began this website. How sad.........How very very sad.....
The ache is all to strong,and if you have not lived it you cannot understand.Look at the picture on this page,realize that these two sweet children were torn apart because of a terrible thing called cancer. Wrong so wrong.
Tonite was one of those nights lieing in bed when a HUGE wave of greif overcame me, HUGE.
I never really know what to do when they hit because they normally come with vivid visions of Gabriel,all different ones. I wish there were Aunts out there that could understand how I feel. I am so sad, so not knowing why death must take beautiful children, so alone...........I want you back in my house so much,eating my spagetti,having me help you with your homework..........

Gabriel I miss you so much,I love you.

Sunday, March 28, 2004 8:30 PM CST

I have been missing Gabriel a lot lately. Aching actually,I don't know if any of you can relate to that aching feeling, it is not good.

I had a dream last night I was on a boat the weather was harsh,waves,wind very bad. I was going through some paper work and found a note that Gabriel had written me. As I write I can still see his signature. I didn't read it in my dream,oh how I wish I did.

Oh how I miss you so Gabriel,you were such an important part of my life,you still are I just wish so much you could be here. So I could pick you up from school and have you come hang out until your Mom got off work like you and
Mikala used to.
Oh how I wished you had not died.

I love you so much Gabriel.

Peace,

Monday, May 17, 2004 9:12 PM CDT

It is not fair what some of us face. I say us not as a Mother or father or sister or brother. But an Aunt who has a first had account of the pain of my twin sister losing her child. The pain of my sweet niece Mikala never getting to wrestle with her brother again. The endless caring bridge journals of children waiting to be saved by the miracle of medicine.
Most of them not. the heartbreak of entries I read from parents trying desperately to understand why their child had to be the one taken. Some of them believing it was God's will, why?
Others believe that it is the cruel reality of life.
I ache for those of you who have lost, I am angered about those of you who have lost, I want to make it better, yet I can't because the only thing to make it better would to
be able to bring your sweet,beautiful,strong,handsome,smart,caring,generous,loving,funny,playful,selfless children back.

I am sorry beyond my wildest dreams that I cannot do that for all you beautiful parents that would have given your life to save your Childs.

All my heart and love to you tonight.

Friday, August 02, 2002 at 05:47 PM (CDT)

Well I must tell you that this journey I have been a part of with Gabe has been incredible.

To know some many people in this world love and have prayed
for him hundreds of times a day in these last 6 months is a gift most people won't know in a lifetime.

Gabe is still here, we have decided to concentrate on making him comfortable as pain free as possible,and to help him pass on to his next journey with ease.
We don't know how long he will stay with us but we will enjoy every second of it.

I love Gabe so much,I will miss him more then anyone can imagine,I watched him come into this world. I will watch him leave.

One thing Gabe always wanted was to make a huge impact on this world,he obivously has.If you would please write and post a message on how Gabe changed or made an impact on your life.

Gabe you are a sweet darling of a young man I will miss your body in my house,in my car in the grass playing with Logan Mac and Mikala in the back yard.

*****Please take some time to write to ALison,Gabes Mom. She will needs us to uplift and carry her and Mikala*******

I don't ever want to stop writing.
I love you Gabe.

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

I will update throughout the evening

Saturday, August 03, 2002 at 05:37 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

Well I never knew my life could change so much in 24 hours.
I tryed all friday night to update and today until 11am.

Gabe passed away on Saturday snuggled in his mothers arms,with his sister and father and many friends and family surrounding his bed.With beautiful music planning( A CD put together by Sam,who never met Gabe but oboviusly by the of music knew him very well)
His breathing mask was removed he opened his eyes toook some quiet breathes and left us here on earth to be with us
in our souls and in our spirits.

We spent much time with him ,last night we watched funny movies and talked to him about lots of wonderful things about him.

Please continue sending your memories of Gabe and and messages to Mikala and Alison.

Plans for Gabes memorial celebration will be posted here.

Tuesday, August 2, 2005 7:55 AM CDT

I can not believe that it will be three years tomorrow that we lost Gabriel to Leukemia. I miss you as I do everday.
We will be honoring you in many ways tomorrow.

Love Auntie Vicki

Saturday, June 25, 2005 9:52 PM CDT

I went on Google to look for grief after almost 3 years but I could not find anything thing relevent so I decided to go with my gut.

I think about Gabriel a lot pretty much everyday. Then I ache.
It will be three years this August that he left us,oh how vivid are all the memories. The brief time he was feeling good to the quickness of his agony.Memory plays a bittersweet role in times of loss of a super fantastic super incredialbe smart sweet boy. Oh how I miss him.
I really subconsiously try not to think of him because it makes me cry. But his presense is so strong, his memories are so strong. I miss you more then words can say.

I LOVE YOU GABBIE I WISH YOU WERE HERE SO BAD IT ACHES AND ACHES AND ACHES.

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, May 7, 2005 10:16 PM CDT

A Mothers Love

A Mothers love is something
that can never be explained.
It is heavier and stronger
then any one can say.
It's light shines on longer
then all the brightest stars.
With the hope that love can save
Their presious lovely one.
But even with a Mother's love some
children leave to soon.
No one has the answer as to why
they are the chosen one.
The only way that it makes sense
is that you were the chosen one even
for a shortened time to be blessed
by their special ways.
I am so sorry for the Moms that are reading this today a feeling the grief. Oh how I wish I could take it away.

Aunite Vicki

Tuesday, May 3, 2005 0:07 AM CDT

So I am updating this for prayers. One of Logan and Mac's
friends Dads needs you to pray for his life. I know that some of you might feel that it doesn't work but I sure need to give it a try tonight. He is 24 years old and to young to be gone. So who ever you talk to ask them to help
him.
Thank you and I am so sorry that I have not kept up with you. I am going through some personal stuff that has kept me away from many of my dear friends.
Know that I think of you often,I will never forget you,

Auntie Vicki

Gabbie please take care of Freddie

Friday, April 1, 2005 10:18 PM CST

Tomorrow is Gabriel's 17th birthday, 17.
This picture is amazing to me because Gabriel looks so mature. I know that I am fighting the sadness that tomorrow will bring.I can't even cry even thogh I know the tears are there.
I watched Gabriel come into this world 17,17years ago. I watched him leave this world almost three years ago.
What a great loss...................

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABBIE, WATCH FOR YOUR BALOONS AND CANDY BAR.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY PAIN AND SADNESS HAVE BEEN PUSHED DOWN SO DEEP THAT SOMETIMES IT IS HARD TO FEEL IT.
I HAVE WORKED REALLY HARD THIS YEAR TO HIDE IT,BECAUSE IT MADE IT SO HARD TO THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE BUT YOU AND YOUR MOM ,MIKALA. ALL THE PAIN YOU WENT THROUGH IN THE HOSPITAL.
I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR THE WIND AND THE PINS FOR YOUR MOM,MIKALA, AND OMI. I HOPE TO FEEL YOU TOMORROW. YOU ARE WONDERFUL, AND I SO APPRECIATE YOUR GUIDENCE.
ALL MY LOVE,

AUNTIE VICKI

Thursday, March 17, 2005 9:50 PM CST

Hello dear friends,

I have not updated in a long while. I realized I have been
pretending. Pretending that if I don't think about Gabe I won't ache. But I ache eveytime I look at his picture.
I ache when I see Mikala make a "Gabe Face" or when Ali
tells me about a memory. I realize that I have filled
my life up with so much stuff I don't have time to be sad.
PTA, volunteering at school. Gives me no time to sit and reflect, no time to be sad.
I am sorry. I am sorry that there are so many families
having to be sad, or to full.
Ali sent me a message from a women named Vicky, she knew Ali and Ira when Gabriel and Mikala were young.

Sunday, February 13, 2005 9:35 PM CST

VALENTINES DAY>>>>>>>>>

You Can Help A Grieving Heart

Alice J. Wisler
Oh, we talk about the best cold medications and if cherry
cough syrup tastes better to kids than orange.
We can recommend preschools and sneakers. But the hardest part of parenting is the least often discussed. The roughest aspect of being a parent is losing a child.
Then we clam up. We don't want to hear. We are threatened. If her child died, mine could, too. What can we do when parenting goes beyond the normal expectations? "What do I say?" friends ask me with a look of agony in their eyes. "I feel so helpless. I can't empathize, I haven't had a child die."

You can help. You don't have to stand there with a blank stare or excuse yourself from the conversation. You can be informed so that you will be able to reach out to a friend who has lost a child.

"Jump into the midst of things and do something," says Ronald Knapp author of the book, "Beyond Endurance: When A Child Dies." Traditionally there are the sympathy cards and hot casseroles brought over to the bereaved's home. But it doesn't end there. That is only the beginning of reaching out to your friend or relative who has recently experienced the death of a child at any age.

Here are 15 tips you can learn to make you an effective and compassionate friend to your friend in pain:

1) Listen. When you ask your friend, "How are you doing today?" wait to hear the answer.

2) Cry with her. She may cry also, but your tears don't make her cry. She cries when no one else is around and within her heart are the daily tears no one sees.

3) Don't use cliches. Avoid lines like, "It will get better." "Be grateful you have other children." "You're young, you can have another baby." "He was sick and it is good he is no longer suffering." There will never be a phrase invented that makes it all right that a child died.

4) Help with the care of the surviving children. Offer to take them to the park, your house for a meal, to church. Say "May I please take Billy to the park today? Is four okay with you?" Don't give the line, "If you need me, call me." Your bereaved friend may not feel comfortable with asking for help.

5) Say your friend's child's name. Even if she cries, these are tears that heal. Acknowledging that the child lived and has not been forgotten is a wonderful balm to a broken heart.

6) Give to the memorial fund. Find out what it is and give, today, next year and the next.

7) Some mothers start to collect items that bring comfort after a child dies; find out what it is your friend is collecting and buy one for her. My son liked watermelons and we have many stories of watermelons and him. Therefore my house now has assorted watermelon mementos---a tea pot, kitchen towel and soap dispenser. Many mothers find solace in rainbows, butterflies and angels.

8) Send a card (I'm thinking of you is fine) but stay away from sappy sympathy ones.

9) Go to the grave. Take flowers, a balloon or a toy. How honored your friend will be to see what you have left there the next time she visits the cemetery.

10) Don't use religion as a 'brush away' for pain. Stay clear of words that don't help like, "It was God's will."

11) Don't judge her. You don't know what she is going through each day, you can not know of the intense pain unless you have had a child die.

12) Stay in touch. Call to hear how she is coping. Suggest getting together, but if she isn't up for it, give her space.

13) Read a book on grief, focusing on the parts that give you ideas on how to be a source of comfort for your bereaved friend.

14) Know she has a hole in her heart, a missing piece due to the death of her child. Holes like these never heal so accept this truth and don't expect her to 'get over' this loss.

15) Remember that with the death of her child, a part of her died-- old beliefs, ideals, etc. Her life has been forever changed. Let her know your love for her as well as God's love for her is still the same.

Even as you participate in the suggestions above, you will still feel uncomfortable. It has been three years since the death of my four year-old, Daniel, and even now when I meet a newly-bereaved mother, I am uncomfortable. Talking of the untimely death of a child is never easy for anyone. However, avoiding reality does not bring healing. You will provide many gifts of comfort along the way when you actively decide to help your grieving friend. When my friends and family acknowledge all four of my children, the three on this earth and the one in Heaven, I am honored. Each time it is as though a ray of warm sunlight has touched my soul.

Further Reading:

"When A Child Has Died: Ways You Can Help A Bereaved Parent". Bonnie Hunt Conrad. Fithian Press, 1995.

"When Your Friend Is Grieving: Building A Bridge of Love". Paula D'Arcy. Harold Shaw Publishers, 1990.

"Beyond Endurance: When A Child Dies". Ronald J. Knapp. New York: Schocken Books, 1986.

"Slices of Sunlight, A Cookbook Of Memories". Alice J. Wisler. Daniel's House Publications, 2000.

copyright@2000 Alice J. Wisler

About the Author
Alice J. Wisler writes for various bereavement publications. Her recent book, "Slices of Sunlight, A Cookbook of Memories: Remembrances of the Children We Held" stresses the importance of recalling those children's lives who have died through recipes and food-related stories. To learn more, visit here Alice can be reached at wisler@mindspring.com.
This article first appeared in Whispers Online Magazine For Women, August, 2000. It has also been printed in Women Today Magazine, 2001 and Carolina Parent Magazine, 2001. All rights reserved.

For more Family Remembrance features visit our Index.

I love you Gabriel, & my heart is with all of you sweet mothers who have lost their baby, I am so sorry.

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, January 16, 2005 10:40 PM CST

Robin Williams just was given the Cecil B Demills award (the spelling is most likely wrong) but anyway. I watched his face I listened to what people said about him. I watched his movie clips and all I could think of was Gabe. You see Robin Williams called Gabriel when he was diagnosed with bone cancer in 1998. They e-mailed each other. They talked on the phone during Gabriel's recovery.
I tried to contact him after Gabriel passed away. I was brought to tears tonight to think that Gabriel was a small part of Robin Williams’s life and what an impact people make in our lives.The fact that it DOSEN’T MATTER IF YOU ARE FAMOUS YOU STILL CAN CHANGE LIVES,MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE AND HAVE PEOPLE MISS YOU LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW. EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT A MOVIE STAR. I DON’T KNOW IF THIS MAKES SENSE BUT IT IS HOW I AM FEELING TONIGHT.

I Love you Gabriel I miss your sweet voice and gentle spirit.

Auntie Vicki*

Sunday, January 2, 2005 9:31 PM CST

January 2 1963. Victoria and Alison Guthrie born to proud parents. Who would have thought 42 years later Victoria would be updating her forever 14 nephew Gabriel's website.

Love Auntie Vicki.

Gabriel I hope you like your ornament

Friday, December 31, 2004 7:54 AM CST

My New Years wish to you........

For those of you who have lost your sweet child.I wish you comfort, true friendship,and love. To those friends and family that keep coming back I send you gratitude,love and warmth. To all of you I wish you health,peace, and that as many of your hopes and dreams that can be filled this new year are.

"Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty people happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment." - Sydney Smith

Love,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, December 24, 2004 6:53 PM CST

This time of year seems so rushed,so busy. But no matter how busy or hectic my life gets Gabriel finds ways to let me know he is here and to slow down, breath and enjoy.
When I a m at work songs come on that are on the cd a sweet boy named Sam made for Gabriel.They make me feel bittersweet. Little angel things happen and I know it is Gabriel. I read today the entries I wrote when Gabriel was passing away. I needed to it helps me remember because I get frightened I will forget. I want to wish that you all have a good holiday. I know some of you can't wait for it to be over and others will savor every moment I love you all and wish peace and health to you. For those of you that have lost a sweet child I wish with all my heart I could make it better, I am sorry.

Peace

Love,
Auntie Vicki

Gabriel, Maybe you can sneek into your Mom and Mikala's dreams tonite. I love you and miss you with all my heart.
Merry Christmas

Saturday, December 11, 2004 7:42 PM CST

In memory of Gabriel,Rachael,Joesph,Brandon,(A.J.aka batman),Priyanka,Sam,Tom,Adam,
Ryan,Katja,Dustin, Cole,Amy and all the other wonderful children that have left their families to soon. Please light a candle from 7pm to 8pm sunday night.

Here is a message I recieved in Gabriel's guestbook......

I don't know if this is something that you are aware of or not. It comes from a friend of ours who lost their sweet daughter, Sarah, 6 years ago. I know that you have suffered a loss also and want you to know that others still stand with you in support. I urge all those reading this entry to please remember Gabe, Sarah and the other children that have gone to Heaven much to early. Please also remember the families and friends of these children who will not be forgotten.
Thank you.
Sara Hughes

Worldwide Candle Lighting
December 12th, 2004

The Compassionate Friends invites families grieving the loss of a child at any age and any cause, to join us on Sunday, December 12th, as candles are lit at 7 p.m. in all time zones around the world for a 24-hour wave of light.

To our friends:

In memory of Sarah, We invite each of you to light a candle to represent the love that Sarah brought and continues to bring to each of our hearts. We love you.

Barb and Bruce Flickinger

I LOVE YOU GABRIEL

Sunday, December 5, 2004 6:28 PM CST

I have been denying my grief over missing Gabriel for about three months. It is about ready to overflow.

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 7:59 AM CST

I just found out today that an incredible young women named Amy Mareck has passed away trying to fight off terrible cancer.
Please go to her website and read her incredible journal.

http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/amymareck

Gabriel I am sure you will welcome her with open arms.

Love,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, November 24, 2004 5:50 PM CST

Wishing you all a Heartfelt Thanksgiving.

Love,

Auntie Vicki

I miss you Gabie,so wish you were here.

Friday, November 5, 2004 11:39 PM CST

Spectra died. So sad. But we decorated a wooden box inside
and out and buried him near the place we had buried something for Gabe.

We will wait for awhile before we get a new animal,very emotional for us.

I will post about Ira tomorrow.

Love,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, November 3, 2004 7:22 AM CST

So this morning we looked into Spectras fish bowl ( our Beta Fish) and she was laying tummy up at the bottom of the bowl.I came to update the site and when I was finished Mac said he wanted to go see Spectra. We walked in a Mac said " Spectras alive,she alive." I said don't say that and then I looked and Spectra was swimming up to the top of the bowl.
Miracles do happen. Maybe a Miracle will happen with the election too. Thank you Gabriel
Auntie Vicki

Ira is still in Atlanta, Ali is going to call him today
to see how he is doing.

Friday, October 22, 2004 7:51 PM CDT

So Ira got out of the hospital in Minneapolis and drove himself to Atlanta.
He is now in a Hospital there with a fever that won't go away.
That is all I know.

TIME
It goes so fast when you are living an ordinary life.
When you have your kids,a husband. You get up make breakfast,make sure homework is done,drive to school drop off,run errands,pick kids up,make dinner make sure homework is started,baths,bed,wake up and it starts all
over again.
Then I sign on here, and I see this picture of Gabe and Mikala and time stops. I long for the days when Gabriel
was here. Mikala,Logan & Mac had a few days off this week we had fun. I thought about Gabe a little,but when I see this picture my heart aches.
I wish Gabriel was here to pick out Halloween costumes,one of his favorite holidays.I wish you were here to hang out with me while Mikala,Logan & Mac were playing spys downstairs.I have kept myself so busy lately that I have'nt allowed my self to miss you. Well guess what I am missing you now. I would do anything sweet Gabriel to have you back. I long for your smile,peace, and laugh. Helping you with your homework,making you food,picking you up from school.Walking with you. I don't want to forget all the things about you,please help me not forget.

I love you sweet Gabriel,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, October 3, 2004 9:20 PM CDT

Hello,

I wanted to update those of you who read yesterdays
entry. Ira is still in the hospital. They will be running
several test tonight and tomorrow.
We know that his kidney is not working at all,and that he has some type of something on his lung and something wrong with his joints.

I will update as soon as I hear from Ali.
In the mean time please send kind healing soothing energy.

Love,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, October 2, 2004 9:57 PM CDT

I am so sad. Ali called us tonight to tell us that Mikala and Gabriels Dad had a seizure. He had fallen asleep and next thing he knew he was in an ambulance. His kidneys had falied and he had built up a lot of toxins in his body.
They put him on imediate Diailysis(sp).
He is still in the hospital. I don't get it. Why do some people have nothing bad happen to them and others get it slammed on them? It is not fair. Not fair at all.
Please keep Ira ,Ali and Mikala in your thoughts.
I am so tired of bad things happening to my sweet twin sister. I makes me so sad .

Please think of her.

Auntie Vicki

Gabriel please watch over your sweet family.

So sad...............

Monday, September 27, 2004 8:44 PM CDT

The walk went well. They had many more supporters then
expected.
We kissed some of the LTN balloons and sent them up to Gabe.
We miss him so much!'
I was lying in bed with Mac the night of the walk,he was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said he missed Gabe.My 5 year old.
I miss you too Gabriel I think of you so often,and wish so much you were here to eat my food, move into your new home,
it still is unreal that a child of our family is gone forever.

Love,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, September 25, 2004 4:04 PM CDT

The Light the Night Walk is tonight.
Logan raised over two hundred dollors all by himself
( My 8 year old son). I am so proud of him. We have a very small team this year but I know it will be a great walk.

Love you Gabe!!!

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, September 16, 2004 9:19 PM CDT

Thank you all who have left messages lately, it means a tremendous amount to us.

Ali, Gabe's Mom is going through some very difficult times right now. She is so strong and incredible, I still cannot believe with all she has gone through she still can laugh,smile,take care of Mikala and herself,she is amazing.
But, even amazing people like to here nice things so.....
If you want to e-mail her or leave her a message she would like it very much.
aguthrie@mn.rr.com

The Light The Night Walk is coming up next Saturday
September 25th.
We have not gotten as many donations as I had hoped,you still have time. Our team will be very small this year:(
But we will do what we can with what we have. I must remember not everyone feels the same way as I do when it comes to finding cures to all the blood cancers.
If you do feel like donating please do so at.

Vicki Jones
Gabes Wings
4334 10th ave south
Mpls, Mn 55407
make checks payable to the
Leukemia Lymphoma Society.

Wednesday, September 8, 2004 9:49 PM CDT

My nephew is gone. He is also a son, a brother, a grandson, a friend. THink how you would feel if one of yours was gone forever. It is a terrible thing and it effects us everyday, everyday.. So if you know of anyone who has lost please be kind and even if it has been a while since they have passed ask how they are doing,let them know you are thinking about them. The pain never goes away,it is always at the surface ready to break through.

I thank each of you who read my entries.

I thank you for caring about our loss and our family.

Blessings,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, August 25, 2004 9:55 PM CDT

I found this poem on a little boys site tonight. He has the same birthday
as Ali and I. I thought it was right...........

Ask my Mom how she is
My Mom, she tells alot of lies
she never did before.
From now until she dies,
she'll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mom how she is
and because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
because she can't describe the pain.
Ask my Mom how is she,
She'll say "I'm alright."
If that's the truth, then tell me,
why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mom how is she,
she seems to cope so well.
She didn't have a choice you see
nor the strength to yell.

Ask my Mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping."
For Gods sake Mom, just tell the truth
just say your heart is broken.
She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how is she
she'll lie and say she's fine.
I am here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.
On the day we meet again,
we'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say, "You're lucky to get in here, Mom
with all the lies you told!"

Author Unknown

Thank you to Lisa and Jessica for donating.

Remember it is still not to late to donate to the walk.

Vicki Jones
4334 10 th ave south
Minneapolis,MN 55407
Make checks payable to the
Leukemia Lymphoma Society.

Thank you in advance,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, August 11, 2004 9:30 PM CDT

days go by so swiftly. It is interesting to me that my life seems to go by day after day. I get up take great joy in taking care of my two boys and husband,helping make their lives better,my friends and communitys life better.
But always no matter what when I think of Gabriel everything stops maybe just for a second but it stops, the pang of grief is felt in my stomach and then depending where I am at in my life it passes quickly or stays and tears flow.
I am sad that more people have not signed the guestbook but
as I have known since I started this site.It is not a site of a mother writing about her child it is an Aunt, there is a difference.
I tell myself not to care and that it means that this chapter perhaps should close so another can open,but even writing that makes me feel funny because I have been doing this for over two years,wow if I could only have the same commitment to my diet I would be at my perfect weight:)

Anyway, bottom line is that I love my sister(s) and my family and I miss sweet Gabriel,I love him and will honor him forever.

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, August 3, 2004 11:19 AM CDT

GOODMORNING,

WE ARE AT ALL AND MIKALA'S HOUSE GOING THROUGH PHOTOS.
ALI BOUGHT US ALL PHOTO ALBUMS SO WE COULD PUT OUR FAVORITES OF GABRIEL IN THEM :)
wE ARE THEN GOING TO GABES FAVORITE RESTURAUNT WITH SOME FAMILY AND FRIENDS. WE WILL SEE WHAT TONITE BRINGS.

PLEASE SIGN THE GUESTBOOK IF YOU CHECK IN TODAY, IT MEANS ALOT.

AUNTIE VICKI

Saturday, August 03, 2002 at 05:37 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

Well I never knew my life could change so much in 24 hours.
I tryed all friday night to update and today until 11am.

Gabe passed away on Saturday snuggled in his mothers arms,with his sister and father and many friends and family surrounding his bed.With beautiful music planning( A CD put together by Sam,who never met Gabe but oboviusly by the of music knew him very well)
His breathing mask was removed he opened his eyes toook some quiet breathes and left us here on earth to be with us
in our souls and in our spirits.

We spent much time with him ,last night we watched funny movies and talked to him about lots of wonderful things about him.

Please continue sending your memories of Gabe and and messages to Mikala and Alison.

Plans for Gabes memorial celebration will be posted here.

All of you that have cared,prayed and loved Gabe,I thank you.
All of you that have shared your thoughts whether you knew him for a long time or short I thank you for posting,please continue to do so.

I also want to thank the entire loving staff on 4e,We could not
of had the peace and togetherness of family if you had not loved Gabe as much as we do.
God Bless
Warmly,
Auntie Vicki

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday, August 2, 2004 5:40 PM CDT

Fly, Fly, Fly. Free from the pain free from homework, bossy Aunties, Moms, Grandmas. Oh how I wish you were not free. I so selfishly want you here with us. Your Mom found
some cameras that had not been developed I got them done and there is a picture of you smiling about the time you had been told that you had Leukemia.I have tryed so hard to not cry work has kept me occupied. But driving home it hit me and all the memories of what we were doing today came pounding back.
We were waiting for you. God how I miss your presence.

I could go on and on

I love you I love you I love you I love you.........................................................................................................

Until tomorrow,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, July 30, 2004 6:42 PM CDT

*** I just talked to Alison,Gabriel's Mom and she said she would like to send an invitation to all of you to join us at Gabriel's favorite Resturaunt KIKAGUWAS in Minneapolis.
We will plan reservations at 6pm August 3rd. If you would be interested in joining us please contact me at 612-823-8310 or at my e-mail by Monday so I may confirm our reservations. Even if you don't know us well you have been brought to Gabriel's site for a reason.
If you are unable to attend you can do
a number of things to honor Gabriel's memory:
Watch planes trains and Automobiles, or Mrs. Doubtfire,or Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Eat Japenese Food or Chicken Spagetti, listen to Enya or David Bryne.
Or do what you think Gabriel wold like.
My 5 year old likes sending ballons up to Gabriel. If you want share your ideas .

Thank you from the depths of our hearts.

Gabriel's loving Family

The dreadful day is approaching, I am trying so hard to be strong. But the ache and tears are hanging heavy, oh so heavy on my heart.
The tears are flowing as I write, my family is not home,which is good I so don't like them to see my tears,not because they don't accept them they just don't like to see me sad.
But I am sad,I am sad because life just goes on. People
forget the sadness forget the pain, there lives fill up with their lives. I do not dislike them for that for I to have filled my life up,thou I will never fill the void.
I just want Gabriel's friends to stop and pause, to send notes to Ali and Mikala, to say a pray that Leukemia can be stopped.
I want people to feel sad, is that wrong?
I was thinking a few nights ago I would have gotten to be the one to teach Gabriel to drive, he voice would have changed by now and he would have been so handsome.

Oh how I wish that all of the wonderful families I have met through this horrible thing called cancer were strangers.

Thank you to those who continue to read the site.
If you have'nt signed in lately it would be a tremendous gift if you would in the next few days.

All my heart,

Auntie Vicki

A POEM WRITTEN BY AUNTIE LISA

GABRIEL

Filled with wisdom beyond your years
Spiritual
Thoughtful
Armchair traveler
Mystical,magical,full of love.
Artist, writer,cook and creator
Student of life and teacher to those who meet you
You accept those around you for who they are and love them completely.
Fraiser makes you break out in peels of laughter, you create episodes in your sleep and smile.
Satin soothes your fingertips and the silken cloak disguises you in your sleep or wakefulness.
Your voice high and silly or soft and low fills my mind always.
You are with me on my walks, a bald eagle watching me closly just flown in from I know where. Or Redwing Blackbird who travels along beside me.
Adventure, fantasy, Anima and elves
Salt water, fresh water, silver and rosemary, herbs and flowers, animals and breezes you are with us always we are so blessed to have you near.

auntie lisa
Burlington, WA USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 04:13 PM (CDT)

Saturday, July 24, 2004 7:33 PM CDT

Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 09:07 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Not much change from Monday to Tuesday to Wednesday.
Gabe seems to be in more pain. Ali is going to suggest they
do a CT scan to see what is up.

Please continue your prayers. All day at work Gabe kept coming into my mind. Him being at our house playing with Logan and Mac and Mikala. Us talking on the phone being
excited about a Game we won on E-Bay Him calling me to remind me to watch Frasier which is his favorite show.

I want so much for him to get better. Please continue writing your wonderful messages of support.
Gabe has been the Hospital since April 30 th .

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Lately I have felt as if I am running from
the inevitable. The day that Gabriel
died. I somehow must think in my my
mind that if I don't think about don't
plan the day that it won't be true.
I know in my heart it is but, you know how your mind works. Sometimes it is just good to pretend.
I miss you Gabriel I wish I had the words.

All My Love,

Auntie Vicki

Our Light the Night Walk is on Saturday September 25th at 5:30pm at Lake Phalen in St.Paul.
If any of you want to join Gabe's family in his memory
Please feel free to contact me. My e-mail is down below.
If you can't join us but would like to help in another
Way.please also e-mails me.

Thank you for your continued support.

Auntie Vicki

Monday, July 12, 2004 9:40 AM CDT

Greetings,

What do I say anymore, how much I still miss Gabriel
Everyday, how much I fight, we all fight to keep his memory
alive. How I can feel the grief creeping up quietly when I think that on August 3rd it will be TWO YEARS since his passing, I remember the day like it was yesterday.
I guess that is what I say. I also say that we continue to love him and find him in our everyday lives. Logan and Mac
talk about him often which makes me happy. Mac prays to him
and I will continue to help make a difference in the lives of other children dealing with these terrible cancers.

Our Light the Night Walk is on Saturday September 25th at 5:30pm at Lake Phalen in St.Paul.
If any of you want to join Gabe's family in his memory
please feel free to contact me. My e-mail is down below.
If you can't join us but would like to help in another
way.please also e-mail me.

Thank you for your continued support.

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, July 4, 2004 10:26 PM CDT

I cannot thank caringbridge enough. Tonite I read some of the entries that I had written in July of 2002 so much hope
so living as though Gabriel were going to get better. The entries are so bittersweet.

I miss you Gabbie. Tonite I wrote you a message with one of the sparkelers we lit for the fourth. I hope you got it.

I also hope you get the baloons Mac sends up. Every time we go to a festival and Mac gets a balloon he imediatly lets it go into the air and we watch until Mac says "Gabe must have got it because I can't see ot anymore".
Out of the mouth of my sweet five year old.

Peace and Health to you all,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, June 30, 2004 9:35 PM CDT

THESE ARE PREVIOUS JOURNAL ENTRIES....

THAT MAKE ME CRY

Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 08:16 PM (CDT)

goodevening,

Gabe opened eyes and lightly squeezed one of
the nurses hands,he also cried today.He is still not
coherent but he is showing signs for improving.
Blood pressure a little high today a little fever.

The biggest concern is the bleeding he is having due
to the graft versus host diease.

Please keep up your praying and positive thoughts.
He is getting stronger and every littl positive thought
prayer helps.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

1YEAR LATER.......................

Monday, June 30, 2003 8:07 PM CDT

Sometimes I get so mad that this happened to Gabe and our family
and I want people to know what Gabe went through.
To understand that when I write and why I keep writing
is because he risked his life to stay with us.
He told me when he was diagnoised with the Luekemia
that he had known even before the doctors told him.
He believed we believed that this was the best thing we could do for him.Look what happened.
He spent the last 5 months of his 14 years in a hospital room.

Auntie Vicki

2 YEARS LATER................

Here I sit at the computer,still trying to capture, bring back, make sense of it all. My Mom stopped by tonite and she said " it never stops" thinking of Gabriel. So I posted these two journal entries. Don't take time for granted.

And please sign the guestbook, even if it is to tell us how much we all look alike in the pictures I posted.

I miss you sweet Gabriel, I planted some flowers where we had buried our wish for you. I love you with all my heart.

P.S help your Mom find something Wonderful.

All my Love Forever and ever .

Auntie vICKI

Wednesday, June 23, 2004 9:17 PM CDT

Lisa and Zack left today. I am feeling very meloncoly
Actually just plain sad,very teary,don't know why.
Maybe because the last time Lisa was here was in November 2002.Summer,the smells,sounds,early morning always brings back vivid feelings of the summer of Gabriel. Even writing now brings back intense feelings of the summer of 2002. It is hard to describe, but it is so there that it brings me to tears. It isn't specific memories,just emotion, that makes me ache inside.
Oh how I wish It wasn't true that the beautiful boy is....
I try to write gone,but something keeps me from writing that because I know he is here.................

NEW PICTURES
Auntie Vicki

Saturday, June 19, 2004 9:33 PM CDT

Today we celebrated my Mom's birthday. A wonderful day full of suprises. With that bittersweetness hanging over our heads. Gabriel not being here. Ali has found some new pictures of Gabriel,one the month he went into the hospital to start his life changing event. I will post it when I can.
I will post tonite some pictures of us.

I love you Gabriel and I know you you with us, I just wish you were alive.

Love Auntie Vicki

Happy Fathers day to all you wonderful men.

Sunday, June 13, 2004 10:54 PM CDT

So...................... Life goes on,especailly with two boys. I have no choice, I don't really have time to grieve much with Logan and Mac out of school. It can be thought of as a good thing,but sometimes I wish I had more quiet time to think of Gabe. Is it strange that I want to think of him,I don't think so. I have been so full of last days of school,field trips, ect that I have not updated.
This weekend there were so many bunnys around or neighborhood it made me smile.

Love to all,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, May 31, 2004 9:11 PM CDT

Not much new. I think of Gabe everyday,many times a day actually.
I miss him want him here........reality sinks in and reminds me that he never will be here again,pysically.
I hate it,but it is what it is a fact of life that I must accept.We must accept. The fact that one of the most wonderful boys in our family had to die is a tragedy, but a reality. So our lives fill up with life. Some things bring me great joy,others great sorrow,like the friends I have met through Gabes passing that don't get those bits of great joy. It breaks my heart..........
Life is bittersweet,I have learned that you cannot always have what you want,and that is one of the hardest parts of life to bear.

I love you all,my friends.

I miss you my sweet Gabriel

Auntie Vicki

Monday, May 17, 2004 9:12 PM CDT

It is not fair what some of us face. I say us not as a Mother or father or sister or brother. But an Aunt who has a first had account of the pain of my twin sister losing her child. The pain of my sweet niece Mikala never getting to wrestle with her brother again. The endless caring bridge journals of children waiting to be saved by the miracle of medicine.
Most of them not. the heartbreak of entries I read from parents trying desperately to understand why their child had to be the one taken. Some of them believing it was God's will, why?
Others believe that it is the cruel reality of life.
I ache for those of you who have lost, I am angered about those of you who have lost, I want to make it better, yet I can't because the only thing to make it better would to
be able to bring your sweet,beautiful,strong,handsome,smart,caring,generous,loving,funny,playful,selfless children back.

I am sorry beyond my wildest dreams that I cannot do that for all you beautiful parents that would have given your life to save your Childs.

All my heart and love to you tonight.

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, May 12, 2004 10:34 PM CDT

Today at work I wore a shirt that showed my sun tatoo.
I got it in memory of Gabriel. I think I had at least 15 people tell me how beautiful it was. It made me happy to be able to talk about Gabriel today.

I miss you sweetie.

As always,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, May 9, 2004 9:05 AM CDT

Us

We love, we hurt, and we give every ounce of our being.
We are right, we are wrong, forgiving and not
We are strong, we are unbelievable.
We are sad, we are happy, we are complicated.
We are selfless, we are selfish.
We are silly, creative, warm and comforting.
We are wonderous,
We love with every part of our being.
We ache, we wonder why.
We teach, we listen, we talk
We let them go but we never forget
We are Mothers.

Vicki Jones-

Wishing all peace and love on this Mothers Day

What to do on Mothers day for a Mother who has lost their precious child.

1. Recognize that they are a mother: Offer a hug and a "Happy Mother’s Day". Send a simple Mother’s Day card to let them know you remember that they are a mother even though their child is not with them physically.

2. Acknowledge that they have had a loss: Express the message, "I know this might be a difficult day for you. I want you to know that I am thinking about you today." Removing the wall of silence gives a grieving mother permission to talk about her child.

3. Use their child’s name in conversation: Saying the name of a child who has died is like music to a grieving mothers ears. One mother suggested, "Say his name and ask me my fondest memory of him from past Mother’s Days".

4. Plant a living memorial: This is a wonderful day to plant a tree or flower bulbs in memory of the child. This is something that will live on as a beautiful reminder in the years to come.

5. Visit the gravesite: Many mothers felt that it was "extremely thoughtful" when others visited their child’s gravesite and left flowers or a small pebble near the headstone.

6. Light a candle: Let the mother know you will light a candle in memory of their child on Mother’s Day.

7. Share a memory or pictures of the child: Give the precious gift of a memory. One mother wrote that the "greatest gift you can give is a heart felt letter about my child and your most lovely moments with them".

8. Send a gift of remembrance: Many mothers suggested appropriate gifts of remembrance that would bring them comfort. These items included: an angel statue, a piece of jewelry, a memory box, a memorial candle, a picture frame, a library book donation, an ornament, anything personalized with the child’s name or a date, books on grief, a garden stone or a toy donation in the child’s name.

9. Don’t try to minimize the loss: Avoid using any cliches that attempts to explain the death of a child. (i.e. "God needed another angel.") Secondly, don’t try to find anything positive about the loss (i.e. "You still have two healthy children" or "She’s in a better place").

10. Encourage Self-Care: Self-care is an important aspect of the "healing the mind and spirit effort" according to several mothers. Encourage a grieving mother to take care of herself. Give her a gift certificate to a day spa or any place where she can be pampered.

For more information or to obtain additional grief-related resources, please visit: www.thecomfortcompany.net.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, May 8, 2004 4:32 PM CDT

What to do on Mothers day for a Mother who has lost their precious child.

1. Recognize that they are a mother: Offer a hug and a "Happy Mother’s Day". Send a simple Mother’s Day card to let them know you remember that they are a mother even though their child is not with them physically.

2. Acknowledge that they have had a loss: Express the message, "I know this might be a difficult day for you. I want you to know that I am thinking about you today." Removing the wall of silence gives a grieving mother permission to talk about her child.

3. Use their child’s name in conversation: Saying the name of a child who has died is like music to a grieving mothers ears. One mother suggested, "Say his name and ask me my fondest memory of him from past Mother’s Days".

4. Plant a living memorial: This is a wonderful day to plant a tree or flower bulbs in memory of the child. This is something that will live on as a beautiful reminder in the years to come.

5. Visit the gravesite: Many mothers felt that it was "extremely thoughtful" when others visited their child’s gravesite and left flowers or a small pebble near the headstone.

6. Light a candle: Let the mother know you will light a candle in memory of their child on Mother’s Day.

7. Share a memory or pictures of the child: Give the precious gift of a memory. One mother wrote that the "greatest gift you can give is a heart felt letter about my child and your most lovely moments with them".

8. Send a gift of remembrance: Many mothers suggested appropriate gifts of remembrance that would bring them comfort. These items included: an angel statue, a piece of jewelry, a memory box, a memorial candle, a picture frame, a library book donation, an ornament, anything personalized with the child’s name or a date, books on grief, a garden stone or a toy donation in the child’s name.

9. Don’t try to minimize the loss: Avoid using any cliches that attempts to explain the death of a child. (i.e. "God needed another angel.") Secondly, don’t try to find anything positive about the loss (i.e. "You still have two healthy children" or "She’s in a better place").

10. Encourage Self-Care: Self-care is an important aspect of the "healing the mind and spirit effort" according to several mothers. Encourage a grieving mother to take care of herself. Give her a gift certificate to a day spa or any place where she can be pampered.

For more information or to obtain additional grief-related resources, please visit: www.thecomfortcompany.net.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, May 6, 2004 8:58 PM CDT

Please take a minute or longer to admire the picture of this beautiful boy. this is one of the last pictures we have of Gabriel before he passed away.

I am realizing I don't like endings.
Endings of lives, endings of relationships,of school years,even endings of TV shows Frasier in particualer.
It was one of Gabriel's favorite shows and the last episode
is next Thursday.
I don't like that at all it makes me feel sad and like something more of Gabriel's is going away.

Before Gabriel passed away I did'nt think much about endings. It is interesting how death changes things.

Peace to you all,

Auntie Vicki - Rememeber I love to know who you are so let me know.

Sunday, May 2, 2004 8:56 PM CDT

What a diference two years make.................
PLEASE LET US KNOW WHO YOU ARE :)
Sunday, May 4, 2003 9:41 PM CDT

So yesterday was the nine month aniversary.A new life can start in nine months.So many lives taken away so many we are unaware of.So many of us feeling pain and sadness everyday.

We went down to my Dad's today. Papa and Regine had the yearly Easter Egg hunt.We did'nt have it last year,we kept postponing it thinking Gabe would get better and we would have it then.
He never did get better,from our stand point but he was there today.
Whenever the wind is strong,I know he is here.
And it was strong down in Northfield,it blew down a few trees.

I love you Gabe and I miss you despartely,we all do
yet we don't talk about it much,I think it hurts some to much to talk about it.I love talking about you I talk about you every chance I get.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, May 02, 2002 at 12:19 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe had his second round of Radiation
this morning.He will have another round this afternoon, and then twice a day for the next three days.
He is settling into his room and will
have the glass doors that are the front wall
to his room painted soon.

That is all for now.
God Bless and have a great day.

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, April 27, 2004 9:53 PM CDT

I want to let you all know that it does not get easier as time passes,it hurts as much today,and is as vivid,his life memories and death memories as they were two years ago.

I ache..............

I long to tell you that I am always thinking of you........
I'm always thinking of you.............Cat Stevens 1971
This time of year,even though it has been two years seems like yesterday.
My old green volvo,you calling for french onion soup from Minnehaha.Oh how I long for those days............. Oh how I ache for those days.
The pain of loss never goes away. Oh how I love you sweet Gabriel. Your passing was a tragedy,you should have been playing outside tonite with your sweet sister and your newphews.
Goodnight sweet prince,
I love you.

Auntie Vicki
those of you that read please write,let me know what you are thinking,good bad or indifferent.
I just miss him so............

Sunday, April 25, 2004 11:43 PM CDT

I just saw that two days from now,TWO years ago I began this website. How sad.........How very very sad.....
The ache is all to strong,and if you have not lived it you cannot understand.Look at the picture on this page,realize that these two sweet children were torn apart because of a terrible thing called cancer. Wrong so wrong.
Tonite was one of those nights lieing in bed when a HUGE wave of greif overcame me, HUGE.
I never really know what to do when they hit because they normally come with vivid visions of Gabriel,all different ones. I wish there were Aunts out there that could understand how I feel. I am so sad, so not knowing why death must take beautiful children, so alone...........I want you back in my house so much,eating my spagetti,having me help you with your homework..........

Gabriel I miss you so much,I love you.

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, April 21, 2004 9:13 PM CDT

Dear Gabriel,

I am missing you today. I look at this picture of you and Mikala and through it I hear your sweet voice,I can still feel your soft hand,so many memeories come flooding back.
Oh how I wish you were still here. Mikala and your Mom came over tonite, when I opened the door I saw you. It was Mikala but her hair was pulled back, and she has gotten so tall,it took my breath away.

Goodnight sweet boy.

Love,

Auntie Vicki

Everyday you are in my thoughts. Sometimes softly,you bring a smile to my face,a tear to my eye.
Everyday you are in my thoughts, why you.
Everyday you are in my thoughts sometimes you suprise me and i break down in tears,sometimes you bring me the gift of guidence or soul searching.
Everyday you are in my thoughts,what if.
Everyday you are in my thoughts, I see a bird,a bunny,a beautiful sunset, it is you.
Everyday you are in my thoughts,why can't you come back.
Everyday you are in my thoughts, so grateful of the time I got to spend with you,so grateful of the closeness I feel to you.
Everyday you surround me with hope and tears and the reality that life is short so I should live it with people,things and Ideas that make me a better person and a happy person.
Thank you Gabriel for all the gifts you give me Everyday.

Peace

AUNTIE VICKI

Sunday, April 11, 2004 8:06 PM CDT

Goodevening my friends,

We went to Northfield today to have our traditional easter egg hunt at Papa and Regine's. It started when Gabe was a baby,even when Gabe was sick or in the hospital Papa And Regine have made sure the tradition has continued even if we were doing the hunting in May:) It was a nice day. On the way back to Minneapolis the suns rays shot through the clouds,
every minute it got more beautiful I could help but wonder if it was not a gift to all of us who have lost our beautiful nieces,newphews,brothers,sister sons and daughters. From all of them up in heaven,I also wondered how many other sad souls were looking at that sunset thinking the same thing I was.

Peace and Love to all of you my dear friends,

Auntie Vicki

Everyday
Everyday you are in my thoughts. Sometimes softly,you bring a smile to my face,a tear to my eye.
Everyday you are in my thoughts, why you.
Everyday you are in my thoughts sometimes you suprise me and i break down in tears,sometimes you bring me the gift of guidence or soul searching.
Everyday you are in my thoughts,what if.
Everyday you are in my thoughts, I see a bird,a bunny,a beautiful sunset, it is you.
Everyday you are in my thoughts,why can't you come back.
Everyday you are in my thoughts, so grateful of the time I got to spend with you,so grateful of the closeness I feel to you.
Everyday you surround me with hope and tears and the reality that life is short so I should live it with people,things and Ideas that make me a better person and a happy person.
Thank you Gabriel for all the gifts you give me Everyday.

Peace

AUNTIE VICKI

Saturday, April 10, 2004 7:59 PM CDT

Everyday
Everyday you are in my thoughts. Sometimes softly,you bring a smile to my face,a tear to my eye.
Everyday you are in my thoughts, why you.
Everyday you are in my thoughts sometimes you suprise me and i break down in tears,sometimes you bring me the gift of guidence or soul searching.
Everyday you are in my thoughts,what if.
Everyday you are in my thoughts, I see a bird,a bunny,a beautiful sunset, it is you.
Everyday you are in my thoughts,why can't you come back.
Everyday you are in my thoughts, so grateful of the time I got to spend with you,so grateful of the closeness I feel to you.
Everyday you surround me with hope and tears and the reality that life is short so I should live it with people,things and Ideas that make me a better person and a happy person.
Thank you Gabriel for all the gifts you give me Everyday.

Peace

HAPPY EASTER

AUNTIE VICKI
A DAY FOR NEW BEGININGS AND NEW LIFE

Saturday, April 3, 2004 8:50 AM CST

Greetings,

First I want to thank the people that sent birthday greetings to Gabe it means a lot to all of us to know
that you all still think about Gabriel.
We had a very nice evening. Mikala, Logan and Mac put on a skit,Chuck made a wonderful Italian feast, we had wonderful cards for Gabriel and let up his ballons.

I had asked Gabe in the morning if I could see the bunny,since it had been along time since I had seen him.
I took Krackers outside for a little walk ( Ali & Mikala's
shitzu/toypoodle puppy) and I looked in our neighbors yard and there was the bunny>:) Logan and I sang happy birthday to him. He sat and looked at us. It was the end to a wonderful night.
I am posting pictures I took yesterday of Gabe's tree,which Chuck had me place two white roses for Gabe's birthday.

So.........Click on Photos to see them

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, April 2, 2004 7:41 AM CST

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET GABRIEL

WATCH FOR YOUR BALLOONS
WITH YOUR CHOCOLATE KISSES ON THEM.

LOVE YOU SO MUCH. IHOPE YOU AND ALL THE ANGELS YOU HAVE MET HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME TODAY.

LOVE,

AUNTIE VICKI

Thursday, April 1, 2004 6:54 AM CST

I am having a really hard time with this tonite..............

Tomorrow Is Gabriel's sixteenth birthday.It is also my husbands 40th, bittersweet.

"Life is good, but it would be perfect if Gabriel was here." spoken by my husband last night.
I will post tomorrow. Thank you for checking.
Feel free to write Gabriel birthday wishes!

Watch out because today is April fools day.:O

Peace ,

Auntie Vicki

Gabe have sweet dreams.

Sunday, March 28, 2004 8:30 PM CST

I have been missing Gabriel a lot lately. Aching actually,I don't know if any of you can relate to that aching feeling, it is not good.

I had a dream last night I was on a boat the weather was harsh,waves,wind very bad. I was going through some paper work and found a note that Gabriel had written me. As I write I can still see his signature. I didn't read it in my dream,oh how I wish I did.

Oh how I miss you so Gabriel,you were such an important part of my life,you still are I just wish so much you could be here. So I could pick you up from school and have you come hang out until your Mom got off work like you and
Mikala used to.
Oh how I wished you had not died.

I love you so much Gabriel.

Peace,

Auntie VIcki

Saturday, March 27, 2004 12:05 AM CST

Ali just called from California. They are at an old vacant Chinese Restaurant that Ali and Gabriel had explored while they were out on Gabe's Make a Wish.

She called to tell me that Mikala was looking up at a lantern outside the restaurant and saw a nest with a most beautiful little bird in it; Ali said the bird was so beautiful it looked fake.
She said it must be Gabe and that this old place is one of his resting places when he gets weary from all of his travels.
It overwelmed me with emotion. They are taking many pictures and I will post them when they get back.

Peace and Hugs,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, March 25, 2004 8:10 AM CST

Ali and Mikala are in California visiting Jessica, Gabe and Mikala's Godmother.
I am sure they will visit a lot of the places ALi and Gabe went to on his make a wish trip.
When they get back we will figure out what to do for Gabriel's 16th birthday.
Oh how I wish he were still alive.

Peace,

Auntie VIcki

Monday, March 22, 2004 9:16 PM CST

So today was Logan's birthday. It was a very nice day
We had Grandma's and Grandpa and auntie ali, Mikala,
and some sweet friends.
It was a nice evening. The only thing that made me sad was
when Mac asked Logan to make a wish when he blew out
his candles that Gabe would come back. He kept asking and started crying and said he missed Gabe. Pretty heavy for a five year old.

I love you Gabbie. Goodnight.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, March 21, 2004 8:57 PM CST

Hi,

Part of me does not like the zeocast(music and pictures) because it is advertising. but another part of me really likes it because it makes the pictures of Gabriel move.
If you would like, let me know how you feel about it.

Tomorrow is Logan's 8th birthday. One of my favorite pictures of him is the one with Gabriel and Cousin Zach that is on the zeocast.

Logan is so bright and sweet and wonderful. I wish so much that he could have had Gabriel here to grow up with.

Our life is bittersweet because of Gabriel not being here, but okay because we feel him around everyday.

I love you so much Gabriel. I have felt pains of sadness of you lately, maybe because your birthday is approaching
on April 2nd.

Peace and Love and Hugs

Auntie Vicki

Friday, March 19, 2004 8:45 PM CST

I had the kitchen window open today this evening and music playing. All of a sudden I got a wisp of sadness because I can never look out my kitchen window and see my two sweet boys, Mikala and Gabriel playing in the back yard, Never again.................

Thursday, March 11, 2004 8:06 PM CST

I feel Gabriel all around. So many things make me think of him. I had to go to the doctor today. My new Doctor is at the U of Mn right where Gabe was. Very intense to go back to the parking ramp,even the smell of the soap in the restroom brought back memories. When I as leaving I saw two of Gabe's nurses,they did not remember me.
I miss you ,I love you I will never never forget you my sweet nephew.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, March 1, 2004 2:21 PM CST

I have gotten to the point in my days that I realize that I will always miss Gabriel, I will always want him to be here instead of there,and I will always smile when I look at pictures of him then cry because I cannot take any more of him.
I made a decision a while ago that I needed to stop journaling everyday because,it made me focus on all the pain and sadness I feel that Gabriel is gone.
I want to concentrate on my sweet little boys and their
wonderful family.
Do not get me wrong,There are days when my heart hurts flashes of Gabriel's last days fill my mind,his sweet face
the way he smelled,how painfully sad Ali was,but those painfully memories don't do anything for me but break
my heart. I go on trying to find smiles in my friends,
my children and the work I am doing to raise awareness
and joy for other families whose children have been affected by this terrible diease.

THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK.

Auntie Vicki

Monday, February 23, 2004 9:32 PM CST

Hi,

I have not posted in a while because I have been busy with life.

I think of posting often but time seems to fly by right now.

I must go and get a little one to bed.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

I love you Gabie

Sunday, February 15, 2004 1:37 PM CST

***************Request: Monday 12:30 pm***********************************
I am asking for those of you who feel comfortable to say a pray for a friend who has two clots in his lungs and one in his leg. He is a dear friend and we need to get him better.

Sincerley,

Auntie Vicki

We let a "Happy Valetines Day" balloon up yesterday.
We live close to a cematary. The balloon flew right over to the cematary and disappeared. We went and looked for it and could not find it.
We think Gabriel came and got it.:)
We all signed it and kissed it,very nice.

We have several pictures of Gabe up around our house.
Sometimes I look at them and still can't believe that he is really gone,really not coming back,death is so strange,so permanent.

We went out to dinner we some friends friday night and I saw one of Gabe's Doctors, Dr. Dan.
He was so nice when Gabe was in the hospital and so kind when I went up to say Hi to him on Friday night.

Ira is still doing better,he must go to the hospital about three times a week to get checked out but he is doing better.

Lots of rambling today.........

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, February 14, 2004 8:31 AM CST

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY>>>>>>>>>

Ira is out of the hospital :) Still in a lot of pain but is in good spirits.

I hope you all get today something nice today. I will be sending up a red heart balloon for Gabriel today.
Ali Mikala and my Mom will be over for a little party.

Logan, my second grader loves Mikala so much.
Whenever they do gift projects at school he always makes them for Mikala. This time he made her a jigsaw puzzle that says I love you Mikala. Even though Logan is 2 years
younger then Mikala I believe he will her protector here
when he gets older.

I hope you all find some type of joy today,I will be thinking of those you are truly misssing thier sweet children today.

Peace and Hugs,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, February 8, 2004 10:49 PM CST

Update:

Ira is still in the hospital. The doctors still have not figured out what is going on.

Auntie Vicki

Please if you are reading this say a prayer for Gabriel
and Mikala's Dad, Ira.

Ali called me tonight and said that Ira had to go back in the hospital. She said they might have to have Ira have dialylsis. I can't believe that this means everything is ok, so please pray for him.

I took Ira for his check up on thursday and he was in alot of pain and did not look like he was feeling well.

Thank you for being here,I have realized that no matter how ok I think I am about illness and hospitals I get very scared when people I love and care about have to be dealing with this.

I just want Ira to be ok and for ALi and Mikala and Ira not to have to go through any more hardship.............

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, February 5, 2004 12:29 AM CST

THis is something my sister wrote about gabe, I was rereading the guestbook entries today and found it.

Burlington, WA USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 04:13 PM (CDT)

GABRIEL

Filled with wisdom beyond your years
Spiritual
Thoughtful
Armchair traveler
Mystical,magical,full of love.
Artist, writer,cook and creator
Student of life and teacher to those who meet you
You accept those around you for who they are and love them completely.
Fraiser makes you break out in peels of laughter, you create episodes in your sleep and smile.
Satin soothes your fingertips and the silken cloak disguises you in your sleep or wakefulness.
Your voice high and silly or soft and low fills my mind always.
You are with me on my walks, a bald eagle watching me closly just flown in from I know where. Or Redwing Blackbird who travels along beside me.
Adventure, fantasy, Anima and elves
Salt water, fresh water, silver and rosemary, herbs and flowers, animals and breezes you are with us always we are so blessed to have you near.

auntie lisa
Burlington, WA USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 04:13 PM

Peace Auntie Vicki

Please pray for Gabriel and Mikala's Dad A peaceful journey
through this recovery of his kidney transplant

Thursday, January 29, 2004 8:34 PM CST

Ira's transplant went well. He is resting and Mikala
was talking to him on the phone about 15 minutes ago.
I want to take a minute to thank his wonderful sister
what a selfless thing she did.
I hope things are going well for het tonite.
Thank you for your prayers and thanks to those who
signed the guestbook.

We love to here from you even if it is just a quick HI.

Peace ,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, January 29, 2004 6:52 AM CST

Goodmorning,

I am requesting that all of you that visit Gabriel's
site say a pray,send good energy or whatever you feel
comfortable doing for Gabriel and Mikala's Dad.

THis morning he is undergoing his kidney transplant.
I will let you know how it goes, I am a little scared.
Hoping that everything will be fine.

If you would like to sign the guestbook with good thoughts
I am sure Mikala would love to read them to her Dad.

Thanks for being here.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, January 23, 2004 9:14 PM CST

The days continue to float by. Some filled with so much
routine that they fly by. Others, like today, go by slowly
more time to relax,enjoy my boys,think of Gabriel.
Norah Jones has a new single out,listening to it brings back the late summer of 2002 when Gabe was living the last part of his life here. I feel a twinge of sadness but it is overcome by a sense of peace. For I know Gabriel
is here,I feel his presence in my everyday life.
I thank him for the peace he has brought me.
I feel closer to him know then I did before.

I love you Gabriel and I cannot thank you enough for the gifts you have given me recently.

I hope those of reading this are doing well and enjoying,the best you can, this life and the people that
make it a beautiful,warm place to be.

Until the spirit moves me................
Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, January 17, 2004 8:54 AM CST

Greetings,

I talked to a friend yesterday. She had gone to see Suzanne the medium that Ali,Mikala and I had gone to.
The things she told me were incredible. I am so happy for her and her family and for us. When she shared with me it really validated all that Suzanne had told us.

It is a wonderful feeling to know that our loved ones are still near and that they do communicate with us after they have left us.

I hope today finds you some laughter and some peace.

Auntie Vicki

Friday, January 9, 2004 7:14 PM CST

I hope this is helpful................

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR BEREAVED PARENTS

I Resolve:

That I will grieve as much and for as long as I feel like grieving, and that I will not let others put a timetable on my grief.

That I will grieve in whatever way I feel like grieving, and I will ignore those who try to tell me what I should or should not be feeling and how I should or should not be behaving.

That I will cry whenever and wherever I feel like crying, and that I will not hold back my tears just because someone else feels I should be "brave" or "getting better" or "healing by now".

That I will talk about my child as often as I want to, and that I will not let others turn me off just because they can't deal with their own feelings.

That I will not expect family and friends to know how I feel, understanding that one who has not lost a child cannot possibly know how I feel.

That I will not blame myself for my child's death, and I will constantly remind myself that I did the best job of parenting I could possibly have done. But when feelings of guilt are overwhelming, I will remind myself that this is normal part of the grief process and it will pass.

That I will not be afraid or ashamed to seek professional help if I feel it is necessary.

That I will commune with my child at least once a day in whatever way feels comfortable and natural to me, and that I won't feel compelled to explain this communion to others or to justify or even discuss it with them.

That I will try to eat, sleep, and exercise every day in order to give my body strength it will need to help me cope with my grief.

To know that I am not losing my mind and I will remind myself that loss of memory, feelings of disorientation, lack of energy, and a sense of vulnerability are all normal parts of the grief process.

To know that I will heal, even though it will take a long time.

To let myself heal and not feel guilty about feeling better.

To remind myself that the grief process is circuitous–that is, I will not make steady upward progress. And when I find myself slipping back into the old moods of despair and depression, I will tell myself that "slipping backward" is also a normal part of the grief process and these moods, too, will pass.

To try to be happy about something for some part of every day, knowing that at first, I may have to force myself to think cheerful thoughts so eventually they can become a habit.

That I will reach out at times and try to help someone else, knowing that helping others will help me to get over my depression.

That even though my child is dead, I will opt for life, knowing that is what my child would want me to do.

By Nancy A. Mower TCF - Honolulu, HI

Peace

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, January 6, 2004 10:56 AM CST

The new picture above is a picture I took at a restaurant
Our Mom took us on our Birthday (January 2nd 2004).
The photo does not do what we say justice.
It was water droplets that had formed a perfectly round head, two round eyes a little nose and a smile. We like to believe it was a present from Gabriel.

I found out this week that a true friend of Gabriel's family had passed away. I had just become friends with him
This fall. I had something of his that I wanted to get back to people that cared about him. A friend of John's called
Me last night. She and her family had taken care of him
The last two weeks before he passed away.
I told her that when we had gone to see the psychic she had told us that Gabriel wanted us to know that he was watching over John.
I had not thought of what she had said since that night.
But I remembered, and I told John's friend.
She said, "Gabriel, your nephews name was Gabriel." I said
Yes. She said I am getting goose bumps all over.
John was in a coma at the end and he would say Gabriel's
name. They asked him John, do you see the angels and he said, I see Gabriel.

These are the gifts that our loved ones give us to let us know they are still with us.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, December 31, 2003 5:01 PM CST

My wish to all of my dear friends out there,is that 2004 be a good year.
A year to find clarity in our lives. A year to heal,a year to find happiness,even if it small,a year to realize the truly important things in our lives.

Thank you for being here.

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, December 24, 2003 12:48 AM CST

A sense of calm and freedom has come over me
in the past week.

A realization, that I was spending much of my time
checking in on caringbridge children.
It had become an obsession. I know that
in a strange way it made me feel connected somehow.
As if checking in on all the children made the loss of Gabriel less painful because I could relive the last months of his life through the pages of the children I was reading about. I could feel the hope the joys, the loving energy, I could offer prayer, comfort and hope. But I would also feel the pain, the unforgiving helplessness the parents felt and in many the untimely passing of these sweet children.

Saturday night I realized that it was time to let go, not to forget but to know that even though I will not check on
the countless caringbridge children and their families, I
will NEVER FORGET them.
Once I came to this realization a peace came over me
and I felt Gabe say, it is ok. I know you love me, I know you miss me .You do not need to relive our pain of those last months in the hospital
to have me by your side.
Let go and enjoy your children, your family your life.

I will continue Gabe's site, at least for a while.
I will still continue Gabe's Wings forever, and will still keep the many friendships I have had the pleasure of making
during this past year.

I thank all of you who continue to care enough to come here.
I wish you all the best this Holiday. I know for some it will be hard, and sad. But I hope as we all do you will continue to find ways to cope with the pain and sadness
of this thing we call grief.

All My Love and Heartfelt Blessings,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, December 16, 2003 8:57 AM CST

Ideas to Help get through the Holidays

The holiday season can be especially hard for those who are mourning the loss of a loved one. Brenda Penepent, Executive Director of Healing Hearts, shares the following suggestions:

Change your tradition. If you always ate at the person’s house who is passed, then start a new tradition. Take someone to dinner instead. Maybe a change of scenery will change your mood. Take a Christmas vacation somewhere snowy and do things like snow boarding and others things you never tried before. Even if you don’t feel like you are really enjoying yourself the first few times you change things, keep going. It takes a little time to make a new tradition.

Draw names for gifts if you feel like you just can’t handle shopping. If the toy aisle makes you cry, then send a friend to pick up specific things for you. Or try shopping online for gifts. I know you may not feel festive, but you could make cookies for the people on your “normal” list. If you find yourself buying presents for the person who is passed, don’t worry. It is normal. You can make a donation in their name to a shelter. Many places need toys for needy children, coats for poverty stricken families. Maybe you could organize a coat drive for your community. There is something to be said for giving to others when you are sad. It is an uplifting feeling to know that you are making a difference.

Ok, you haven’t managed to go somewhere different and you need to handle things in your own home because of other children in the home, or your need to feel grounded. That’s alright. You can handle this, but here are a few suggestions. Match tasks to your energy level. You don’t have to decorate the WHOLE house this year. Try just for a tree and keep it simple. Ask your friends to help you prepare food. Do the worst jobs first. Try to plan an hour for yourself in the midst of the chaos. You will need it to recharge your energy levels.

Try to remember that you will receive cards from well-meaning people who are hoping for your holiday to be happy. They really don’t understand the pain you are going through. Ignore them, you know they are just trying to figure out what to say or do. Most of them really do care about you, but are uncomfortable talking. So, they send you a happy card to try and cheer you up. In their ignorance, they are trying to help. If you receive cards like these, place them in a nice box and store them until next year. You don’t have to read them. Just tuck them away for another time. You received them, noted them and dealt with them. Don’t feel you have to reply at all.

Try to avoid eating lots of sweets during the holiday. Sweets tend to make us more depressed. The sugar level rises rapidly when eating the goodies, then plummets dramatically shortly thereafter. This leaves a feeling of emptiness and can lead to over eating. It is a cycle.

Most of all, you need to be honest with yourself about your feelings during this time. Ask yourself why you are sad, lonely, angry, afraid, and write down the answers. You may want to keep a journal or write a letter to your loved one describing all the holiday sites and smells and sounds and telling them how much you miss them at this time. Sadness at times like this is to be expected. Accepting that you are going to need some time to grieve will help you to deal honestly with your feeling of grief and decrease your frustration. Remember, you don’t have to be alone. You need time to heal these hurts and rebuild your life. Take it one step at a time.
About the author: Brenda Penepent, LPN, Executive Director of Healing Heart For Bereaved Parents, Russellville, Arkansas Chapter.

Sunday, December 14, 2003 8:40 PM CST

We went to Gabe's Tree tonite and lite the candleS
Catlin,Peter,Max,Alex,Peter's Mom a friend of Max's,Lisa,
David,Ali, Mikala and Me.
Thank you for coming.

I sometimes think I am strange for doing these things and'
thinking about Gabriel so much.

Am I?

If you think so maybe you should tell me so I can get therapy. Iwant to be healthy.
I just miss Gae and the thought that he is gone forever freaks me out.

Anyway I love you Gabe,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, December 14, 2003 7:07 AM CST

Worldwide candle lighting tonite 7pm

We will be at Gabriel's Tree at Minnehaha academy

We will have hot cider and candles.

Please come in memory of Gabriel and all the other sweet children that have passed.

Where: Minehaha Academy South Campus
> 4200 west riverparkway (front lawn)
>

If you have questions call me at 952-881-2433

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, December 11, 2003 10:25 PM CST

A memory came back tonite while I was reading Logan a bedtime story.

Christmas eve 1997 Gabe,Mikala were snuggled in the bed I had made for them. I had decorated ,what is now Logan and Mac's room, for them with white lights. I read them a story
I was so happy they were spending the night all of us together.

The memory was so strong it brought tears to my eyes while I was reading Logan his story.
Oh how I wish It was not just a memory.Oh how I wish our Christmas's could be filled with only laughter,no tears.

No pain no saddness,oh how I wish......................

You know, so many of you read,I would love to hear from you,even a name and place,it means a lot :)

We will again be doing the candle lighting at Gabriel's
Tree at Minnehaha.
It will begin at 7pm and end at 8pm.
I hope where ever you are you honor these special children.

Auntie Vicki

2003 Worldwide Candle Lighting

In Memory of All Children

The 2003 Worldwide Candle Lighting will be held on Sunday, December 14.

The Worldwide Candle Lighting is held every year on the second Sunday in December,
At 7:00 PM in every time zone. As candles burn down in one time zone, they
Are lighted in the next, creating a 24-hour wave of light that encircles the globe.

— In your home or wherever you may be at 7 PM on December 14, 2003.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003 11:04 PM CST

We will again be doing the candle lighting at Gabriel's
Tree at Minnehaha.
It will begin at 7pm and end at 8pm.
I hope where ever you are you honor these special children.

Auntie Vicki

2003 Worldwide Candle Lighting

In Memory of All Children

The 2003 Worldwide Candle Lighting will be held on Sunday, December 14.

The Worldwide Candle Lighting is held every year on the second Sunday in December,
At 7:00 PM in every time zone. As candles burn down in one time zone, they
Are lighted in the next, creating a 24-hour wave of light that encircles the globe.

— In your home or wherever you may be at 7 PM on December 14, 2003.

Sunday, December 7, 2003 9:25 AM CST

****************************************
Ali called me last night to tell me that Gabriel and Mikala's Dad was admitted to Methodist Hospital on thursday night due to problems with his heart.
He was taken out of intensive care but will be in the hosptial until at least tuesday.
As you can imaginge Ali was very upset. Please do what you can to send him prayers and good thoughts.He is to undergo
a kidney transplant in January.
******************************************************************************

WORLD WIDE CANDLE LIGHTING

Hello All,

Time goes by so fast. I remember how cold it was on December 14th 2002 because a group of Gabriel's family
And friends got together by the tree that his middle school had planted in his honor and stood with our candles lit for one hour, talking, drinking hot cider and singing Christmas Carols.
My sister Lisa and her son Zack were here from Washington State, it was very nice.

Anyway, we are doing it again this year. If any of you
That read Gabriel’s Site are interested in joining us please let me know.
I am still trying to figure out our place, if I knew it was not going to be so cold I would say we could have it by Gabriel’s tree again.

You know, I feel so close to so many families that have lost their precious children but I also feel the distance
that human emotion brings. Though I share my most heartfelt feelings on these pages you do not really know me.
But I am inviting any of you that have lost to come be with us to honor our wonderful nephews, nieces, sons and daughters. We share a bond that a lot of friends and families do not understand, so the invitation stands...
Please e-mail me if you would like to be here.
All of Gabriel's friends and family are welcome

Peace,

Auntie Vicki
The information about the candle lighting is below.

2003 Worldwide Candle Lighting

In Memory of All Children

The 2003 Worldwide Candle Lighting will be held on Sunday, December 14.

The Worldwide Candle Lighting is held every year on the second Sunday in December,
At 7:00 PM in every time zone. As candles burn down in one time zone, they
Are lighted in the next, creating a 24-hour wave of light that encircles the globe.

— In your home or wherever you may be at 7 PM on December 14, 2003.

Friday, December 5, 2003 8:29 AM CST

WORLD WIDE CANDLE LIGHTING

Hello All,

Time goes by so fast. I remember how cold it was on December 14th 2002 because a group of Gabriel's family
And friends got together by the tree that his middle school had planted in his honor and stood with our candles lit for one hour, talking, drinking hot cider and singing Christmas Carols.
My sister Lisa and her son Zack were here from Washington State, it was very nice.

Anyway, we are doing it again this year. If any of you
That read Gabriel’s Site are interested in joining us please let me know.
I am still trying to figure out our place, if I knew it was not going to be so cold I would say we could have it by Gabriel’s tree again.

You know, I feel so close to so many families that have lost their precious children but I also feel the distance
that human emotion brings. Though I share my most heartfelt feelings on these pages you do not really know me.
But I am inviting any of you that have lost to come be with us to honor our wonderful nephews, nieces, sons and daughters. We share a bond that a lot of friends and families do not understand, so the invitation stands...
Please e-mail me if you would like to be here.
All of Gabriel's friends and family are welcome

Peace,

Auntie Vicki
The information about the candle lighting is below.

2003 Worldwide Candle Lighting

In Memory of All Children

The 2003 Worldwide Candle Lighting will be held on Sunday, December 14.

The Worldwide Candle Lighting is held every year on the second Sunday in December,
At 7:00 PM in every time zone. As candles burn down in one time zone, they
Are lighted in the next, creating a 24-hour wave of light that encircles the globe.

— In your home or wherever you may be at 7 PM on December 14, 2003.

Thursday, December 4, 2003 9:52 AM CST

Today is my little ones birthday.
Mac turns five today. He is very in touch with Gabriel.
He has had very vivid dreams of Gabe and thinks and talks about him often.

Young children are so in tune.

Have a wonderful day.

Auntie Vicki

Monday, December 1, 2003 6:23 PM CST

I miss him,his laugh,his smile,his cute feet,soft hands.But so many of those things can still be with me.I hear his sweet voice,in Mikala,see his wonderful smile in the many pictures of him in our house,feel his presence all around me.

I am thankful for the oppourtunity to be Zack,Gabe and Mikala's Aunt.
I am thankful my family is strong,bonded by love and friendship.
That I have a WONDERFUL husband and two beautiful boys.

That I have the ability to make differences in peoples life everyday,whether I know them or not.

I am thankful for friends like you that support me and believe in Gabes presance in your life.

Gabe's passing has changed my life,I appreciate my days,my friends and my moments,I am a better person.I wish he was still here,but he is not,so I make everyday count and feel Gabe loving me and smiling at me .

If you would like to share what you are thankful for in the guestbook that would be great.

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, November 25, 2003 7:16 PM CST

Dear Gabe,

I just wanted to tell you how much I missed your self today. Your Dad said
he wished you were here too.

I love you so much,I hope your eating
garlic mashed potatos and having a good day.

I love you with all my heart

Auntie Vicki

Thanksgiving

T hank you for all your support this last year

H earts heavy this time of year can count on me to be their

A lways know that even though your sweet child is gone,they are with you, with us,watch for their gentle reminders.

N ever take anything you love and cherish for granted.

K indered hearts must stay together

S end your loves who have passed presents by talking about
them and your wonderful memories.

G et help when you are feeling alone, frightened, or
overwelmed ( call a friend or write in your journal)

I nvent ways you can make a difference in your childs honor

V ictory is when you take care of you grief the way you feel is best ,not the way other people tell you.

I ce cream is good, or any other sweet in time of need :)

N ew days will bring new feelings and ideas about your
grief, embrace them and honor them

G o foreward but never forget the sweet face, the memories,
the honest battle that your child fought. Keep those
and find a way to make a difference in other childrens
lives so they may not have to fight.

Auntie Vicki 2003

Gabriel helped me write this............................
I love you and miss you my sweet

Saturday, November 22, 2003 10:05 PM CST

The snow is falling and there is a beautiful glow in the sky.

I love the warm light a snow fall brings.

I love you Gabriel and miss your sweet smile.

Auntie Vicki

Friday, November 21, 2003 8:29 PM CST

And so we go on. Another day another, Thanksgiving,another Christmas, never ever the same. There will always be that feeling of missing that special boy. I go to stores and want to buy him the perfect presant,I look at decorations and think about him. I hear Christmas songs at stores and tears well up in my eyes. Oh how I wish he was still here,
I wanted to see the boy I watched come into this world graduate from high school,I wanted to just be with him.
Never ever the same...............

I miss you Gabe.

Auntie Vicki
I hate the permanace of it all.

Sunday, November 16, 2003 8:19 AM CST

This song makes Ali think of Gabriel

I was waiting for so long
For a miracle to come
Everyone told me to be strong
Hold on and don't shed a tear
So through darkness and good times
I knew I'd make it through
And the world thought I had it all
But I was waiting for you
Hush now
I see a light in the sky
Oh it's almost blinding me
I can't believe I've been touched by an angel
With love
Let the rain come down
And wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul
And drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls
For a new sun
A new day has come
A new day has come
Where it was dark now there is light
Where there was pain, now there's joy
Where there was weakness, I found my strength
All in the eyes of a boy
Hush now
I see a light in the sky
Oh it's almost blinding me
I can't believe I've been touched by an angel
With love
Let the rain come down
And wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul
And drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls
For a new sun
A new day has come
A new day has come

AUNTIE Vicki

Friday, November 14, 2003 10:00 PM CST

IN MEMORY OF RACHAEL MAYO

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET ,BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED,RACHAEL.
MY WISH TO YOU IS THAT YOU ARE PLAYING
AMONG THE STARS,EVEN THOUGH I WISH YOU WERE HERE.THIS SONGS FOR YOU.............

Fly me to the moon
Let me sing among those stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars

In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby kiss me

Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

Thursday, November 13, 2003 5:29 PM CST

New Pictures :)

New Link :0

I continue to miss Gabriel a lot these past weeks.
I wish I had more pictures of him whe he was older.
Ali and I will be going through photos this weekend so maybe we can find more somewhere. I keep wishing I will
find an undeveloped role of film in a pocket of an old coat.

The new pictures I posted of Gabriel really capture his sweetness and intensity.

I miss you sweet boy.

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, November 8, 2003 4:43 PM CST

The sun is setting out my office window. Logan,Mac and I spent the day outside raking leaves,jumping in leaves,raking more leaves. I built a fire in our fire pit,I love the smell of fires.It was a wonderful crisp day.

I felt Gabe all around. I must admit I feel him most when
I am oustide in our back yard,maybe that is because we used to spend a lot of time there.

My feelings of numbness are slowly going away,I just miss him so much latley I can't explain it.
But I want us to have a beautiful wonderful thanksgiving and christmas.And so, with Gabe in my thoughts these will happen,last year I felt as if I were just going through the motions.
When I say I felt Gabe all around ,I wonder if people understand that.I will be walking or raking and thinking of stuff and his thoughts or just his presense will be there.
It was so wonderful and calming to be outside.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, November 4, 2003 8:11 PM CST

Lately I have been feeling that maybe I need to be done with this site.Writing that brings sadness but I feel I am not really doing anything anymore.

I feel at a stand still,frozen,numb.If this is a part of the grieving process I don't like it. I also think about the fact that I am Gabriel's Aunt not his Mom. Should I ache and hurt this much?

I can't help it that I do,he was such a great and important part of my life. I feel stuck right now.

I want so much to get Gabe's Wings going but I am feeling like I don't want to impose on the families I am wanting to help.

And I am oh so sick of seeing these children go through
all this terrible stuff.
I wish I could snap out of what ever I am going through.
What happened to the Aunt that was making a differnce,doing something,where is her energy,her drive.

I am sad and I miss my sweet newphew Gabriel.
I miss him so much. When I am driving in my car I remeber the last time he was in it with me and I try to picture him sitting next to me smiling and laughing,why did he have to go through all the things he did and then leave us. It is not fair.

I want so much to reach out and feel a part of the other families that have lost,I feel very alone.
Ali,Gabes Mom doesn't like to talk,it makes her to sad.
So here I am on the site I created to journal Gabriel's
Journey.

Missing you.............

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, November 1, 2003 6:21 PM CST

There must be a better place...............................
I cannot believe that all the pain our loved ones go through and all the
grief we must endure can be all there is for us as humans.
There must be a better place that we go when we die.
Otherwise what is the point of this cruelty,watching my 14 year old nephew
leave us was the most excruciating thing I have ever had to deal with in my
life,he passed August 3rd 2002 of AML brought on from the chemo he received
to cure him of bone cancer. How ironic is that?
There must be a better place....................

Auntie Vicki

Grief can strike at the oddest times with overbearing sorrow and despair.

My sister just came over with a friend,Gabe and Mikala's Godmother. Jessica. I have'nt seen her since Gabriel died.
She moved out to LA.
and Right after they left this overwelming flood of tears came out of me,I can't explain it and it is kind of freaking me out. Most of the time I know why I cry.

This is so overpowering it is frighting me. If anyone can be of assitiance please do so.
I can't stop the tears.

There must be a better place...............................
I cannot believe that all the pain our loved ones go through and all the
grief we must endure can be all there is for us as humans.
There must be a better place that we go when we die.
Otherwise what is the point of this cruelty,watching my 14 year old nephew
leave us was the most excruciating thing I have ever had to deal with in my
life,he passed August 3rd 2002 of AML brought on from the chemo he received
to cure him of bone cancer. How ironic is that?
There must be a better place....................

Auntie Vicki

Monday, October 27, 2003 5:00 PM CST

I hope this entry finds you well. We have had a sick
little boy here. Admidst the death of my friends former husband,Mac got a terrible cold and today when I dropped him off at school they called and told me I needed to come and get
him because he was vomiting, all over .
I pray that I do not get it,or the rest of my sweet family.
I have our wrap up meeting for Light The Night
on Wednesday Night so I will give you grand totals

Gabe's Wings is still here but put on the back burner
for a week.

Halloween is coming.one of Gabriel's favorite
holidays.
I wonder what he would have been or done this year.
Missing you Gabriel

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, October 25, 2003 8:46 PM CDT

It will continue whether we want it to or not. Death.
I t comes on sometimes unexpectedly, sometimes unwantingly
so after seeing our loved one suffer for so long.
But it is here,we never know when it will be come an important,daily part of or lives.

It has and it will continue. I ache for the two sweet boys that lost there father this week,I ache for my twin sister,for Mikala,for the rest of my family.

For the pain and ruin it causes in families lives. Especially when the family always thought positive never thought they would loose their sweet child.

I ask for help for these families to find love and strength
in eachother,be angry not at eachother but at your loss.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, October 23, 2003 9:53 PM CDT

Unknown Gifts

I want to tell you because you don't know, of the
unknown gifts you have given to me.
The beautiful friendship Diana and I have.The enjoyment
I recieve listening and watching your two sweet boys.
The honor I have felt to be part of this time in your families life,to help comfort and to listen.
We did not know eachother well but I want to thank you Chuck, from the bottom of my heart for all the unknown gifts you have given to me.

I know Gabriel was there to greet and I know you will be with your family and friends.

All my heart I hope your next journey is a wonderful one.

Vicki

I am so sad.........................

Thursday, October 23, 2003 11:20 AM CDT

Sorry I have not updated in a few days.
The Father of two of Logan and Macs best friends was
killed in a car accident on Tuesday morning.
I have spending as much time with The family as possible.

Appreciate your day.

Auntie Vicki

Monday, October 20, 2003 10:37 PM CDT

Over come by emotion at the end of my Yoga class.
Wanting so much to hold Gabriel's hand, just to feel his hand.
Nothing new nothing chnged just emotion in my heart that
has brought tears today.

Reading updates,remembering ,hoping wishing. Feeling the pain of others,so close yet we are all so far away.

Compassion is a strange thing. Sometimes for me it is so strong but I must hold back because I must realize that I am at most a stranger to those I feel compassion for.

My littlest just woke,not feeling well/

godbless,

Goodnight

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, October 19, 2003 8:26 PM CDT

I so want to take all the pain and ache away. I cannot as a mother of my two boys ever beging to understand the loss as a mother.

I can only understand as the loss of a Auntie,a twin sister,a friend.

I am so sorry for all of you who have lost your sweet beautiful child.

I am so sorry...................

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, October 18, 2003 7:28 PM CDT

I raised over 250.00 at the sale. Thank you to all of you that donated things.It was a wonderful two days.
Very nice being with Logan and Mac.

They were wonderful even though it was kind of chaotic
it was very peaceful and wonderful to be with them outside.

I thank you Gabriel for giving me this gift of appreciation for Logan and Mac. Sometimes I get so caught up in life that I don't enjoy it.

Another part of my journey is done.It is very emotional
when I finish these tings that take time and I put so much energy into.

Next, figure out to what the money goes.

I love you Gabriel.

Goodnight all

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, October 17, 2003 9:36 PM CDT

I LOVE YOU GABRIEL

I MISS YOU GABRIEL

I AM DOING IT FOR YOU AND ALL THE OTHER CHILDREN
WHO HAVE SACRFICED THIER LIVES

i LOVE YOU AND MISS YOUR PRESENCE EVERYDAY.

LOVE,

YOUR AUNTIE VICKI

PS
HELP MAKE SATURDAY A GOOD GARAGE SALE DAY

Wednesday, October 15, 2003 1:55 PM CDT

I don't give myself much time to be sad lately.I am sitting listening to a song called Godspeed crying.
But I can't do it for long because I need to keep getting ready for the Gabe's Wings garage Sale that will be held friday and saturday from 8-4 all proceeds will go to
My Gabes Wings that will help make hospital life better for the families undergoing cordblood transplants
you cna also visit www.cafepress.com and enter gabes wings
as the shop title.

I will write more about our time with Suzanne in a couple days.

Please also consider donating to CARING BRIDGE.
It is their fundraising time and they have given us all so
much by giving us the oppurtunity to use thier service.

Peace and much Love,

Auntie Vicki
thinking of you Gabbie :) )))))))))))(((((((((((((((

Monday, October 13, 2003 5:42 PM CDT

Ali, Mikala and I went to see a psychic last week. It was a wonderful experience.
A resident that lives at the property that Ali manages had seen the program about Gabriel on WCCO. He told her that he knew of someone if Ali was ever interested in seeing a psychic.

She did not hesitate to call and set the appointment up. All she told Suzanne was that her son had passed away last year from Leukemia.
Suzanne called Ali early in the week and asked if Ali had a daughter. Ali told her yes and Suzanne asked how old she was. “9” Ali replied. Suzanne said that she does not usually have young children come to readings but she was getting a strong message that Mikala
Should be there.

Wednesday night came and we were running late. Ali called Suzanne to say we would be five minutes late and Suzanne replied, “ They told me ten.” We arrived, 10 minutes late.

We got to Suzanne’s home and felt very welcome. We talked for a few minutes and then she started.
The first thing she asked was who was John. John is a man who befriended Gabe and Mikala a few years ago. He is a wonderful man fighting cancer. Suzanne said Gabriel
Wants John to know he is watching over him.
Another wonderful moment was when she was getting a vision of a bedroom, Abe told her to tell us that anytime we wanted to be with him we could go lay on his bed. We did not know what he was talking about because Ali and Mikala have moved since Gabriel
Passed. But I was talking to my Mom and we realized the bedroom is the one that Gabriel
Stayed in when he visited my Mom.
Three pictures on the wall and he was showing her a lot of dust under the bed. My Mom
Has left the bedroom the same since Gabriel passed.

I will write more tomorrow about the meeting.

Peace

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, October 11, 2003 9:23 AM CDT

Today is grey and cool, I miss Gabe today.

New Pictures posted

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, October 8, 2003 11:28 AM CDT

I asked Ali, Gabriel's Mom what has helped her in dealing with the loss of Gabriel.
One of the things she said was reading.So here are a list of books I thought might be good.................

Peace ,

Auntie Vicki

Grieving Recommended Reading List:

How to Survive the Loss of a Love: Fifty-Eight Things to Do When There Is Nothing to Be Done - by Melba Colgrove, Harold H. Bloomfield, and Peter McWilliams.

Advice on Dying and Living a Better Life - by His Holiness, The Dalai Lama.

Beyond Grief: A Guide to Recovering From the Death of a Loved One - by Carol Staudacher.

Healing After the Suicide of a Loved One - by Ann Smolin and John Guinan.

Grief's Courageous Journey: A Workbook - by S. Caplan and G. Lang.

Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens: 100 Practical Ideas - by Alan D. Wolfelt.

Men & Grief - by Carol Staudacher.

The Grief Recovery Handbook: A Step-by-Step Program for Moving Beyond Loss - by John W. James and Frank Cherry.

~ Michele Baskin-Jones

Monday, October 6, 2003 8:41 AM CDT

Don't Tell Me
Please don't tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost your child too,
Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal,
Because that is just not true,
Please don't tell me my son is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want him here with me,
Don't tell me someday I'll hear his voice, see his face,
Beyond today I cannot see,
Don't tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot,
Don't tell me to face the fact he is gone,
Because denial is something I can't stop,
Don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had,
Because I wanted more,
Don't tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I'll never be as I was before,
What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child,
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while,
And please don't hesitate to say his name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me, you may like the new person I become someday.

Judi Walker
(In Memory of Shane)
Copyright 1998

Peace,

Auntie Vicki
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday, October 6, 2003 8:41 AM CDT

Don't Tell Me
Please don't tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost your child too,
Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal,
Because that is just not true,
Please don't tell me my son is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want him here with me,
Don't tell me someday I'll hear his voice, see his face,
Beyond today I cannot see,
Don't tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot,
Don't tell me to face the fact he is gone,
Because denial is something I can't stop,
Don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had,
Because I wanted more,
Don't tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I'll never be as I was before,
What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child,
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while,
And please don't hesitate to say his name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me, you may like the new person I become someday.

Judi Walker
(In Memory of Shane)
Copyright 1998

Peace,

Vicki
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thursday, October 2, 2003 7:31 AM CDT

YOUR COMPASSIONATE FRIEND
by Steven L. Channing
I can tell by that look friend, that you need to talk,
So come take my hand and let's go for a walk.
See, I'm not like the others - I won't shy away,
Because I want to hear what you've got to say.
Your child has died and you need to be heard,
But they don't want to hear a single word.
They tell you your child's "with God", so be strong.
They say all the "right" things that somehow seem wrong.

They're just hurting for you and trying to say,
They'd give anything to help take your pain away.
But they're struggling with feelings they can't understand
So forgive them for not offering a helping hand.

I'll walk in your shoes for more than a mile.
I'll wait while you cry and be glad if you smile.
I won't criticize you or judge you or scorn,
I'll just stay and listen 'til your night turns to morn.

Yes, the journey is hard and unbearably long,
And I know that you think that you're not quite that strong.
So just take my hand 'cause I've got time to spare,
And I know how it hurts, friend, for I have been there.

See, I owe a debt you can help me repay
For not long ago, I was helped the same way.
As I stumbled and fell thru a world so unreal,
So believe when I say that I know how you feel.

I don't look for praise or financial gain
And I'm sure not the kind who gets joy out of pain.
I'm just a strong shoulder who'll be here 'til the end-
I'll be your Compassionate Friend.

© Steven L. Channing
The Compassionate Friends
Winnipeg, Canada

About the Author:

This poem was written by Steven Channing after the loss of his daughter Kimberly Susanne Channing, April 15, 1973 - February 23, 1987. He is a former member of The Winnipeg Peer Counselling Service and started up several Survivor's of Suicide Groups since Kim's death.
He credits the love, guidance and understanding of TCF (The Compassionate Friends) in helping him through a difficult period, and summarizes his work as follows:

The more I reach out to help others, the softer and firmer her memory comes back to me.
For more information on The Compassionate Friends please visit their website:
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/

Tuesday, September 30, 2003 8:13 PM CDT

This is serious and if you have ever wanted to change a life or make a huge difference here is your chance

How do I start this?
Gabriel and Miakla's father has been sick for a long time.
He has renal kidney failure. He has a rare kidney disease that was diagnosed a few years ago. He has been undergoing dialysis for years.
His sister was going to donate but has become ineligible.
So what am I doing, I am asking for help.Again.some of you might say, but I would hope you would ask for help if you needed it. Mikala does not need to loose someone else she loves.
I talked to him last night and he said anyone that is anything but blood type O could help. I know this is a huge thing.
I am going to find out what my blood type is tomorrow and go from there. If any of you would be willing to donate a kidney to save Mikala's Dad please let me know.
While writing this I am reading it thinking how big this sounds, it is big but I know that I can make things better, and you can to.
I have simplified this but if you want more information please e-mail me.
What a gift to SAVE A LIFE.

Peace

Vicki

Sunday, September 28, 2003 8:24 PM CDT

I have been sort of at a loss lately.I am sort of tried of hearing about all of these children leaving and very few getting better.
I am feeling at a loss,all the hope and belief I had that Gabriel would survive,that all the others would survive.It
doesn'nt make sense,I feel discouraged.I thought,when I was driving home from work tonite that I had not updated
Gabriel's site.I thought,I should,I thought what will I write.
I am tried of writing about the loss,yet I am so incredible sad about the loss.All of you who have endured tragedy this year understand.We are all "in it" all grieving alone,but we are all grieving together.How my heart breaks that there are so mant of us Aunts,Uncles,
Mothers,Fathers,brothers siters,greiving alone,but as one.Because we all want the on thing To have our loved one back.

Help ................................

Solitude helpsYou may need time to think about your loved one, to remember times you shared, to consider how your life will be now. You may be overwhelmed by your sorrow. You may want to stay in bed and cry or sleep, go for a walk, or sit in a chapel.Other people helpFriends and family members are likely to empathize with you. Even if they do not know what to say, just being with other people and talking can be supportive. Accept others’ invitations to participate in activities - but leave if you feel you need to. Reach out to family or friends when the next hour or day seems unbearable.

Accepting support helpsOthers may want to help by doing things for you. They may want to bring you food or talk on the phone or run errands. Accept these acts of kindness whenever you can.Rest and sleep helpCaring for a dying person has been exhausting. You may need time alone simply to regain your physical energy, as well as your emotional and spiritual strength.

Routines helpEven though your life may feel turned upside down, try to keep up a routine of healthy eating, occasional physical activity (even a 10-minute walk), and regular sleep.Time helpsYour life may never be the same again. Whatever your experience with death and dying, you will find that you see the world and your place in it differently. Time lessens some of grief’s pain, but it does not diminish your loss or sadness.

Dreams helpMany people dream of the dead person and feel that, in this way, they are with the person again.
Nature helpsTake a walk and focus on something promising in what you see.

Creativity helpsYou might try writing about your feelings, or creating a special area in your home to honor the memory of your loved one.

Postpone major life changesYou may make decisions impulsively that will later prove not to be in your best interest. Impulse spending is only a temporary fix, and geographical changes (such as moving) will not leave grief behind. If you have to make a major life change, talk it over with people you trust and encourage them to counsel you about whether you are thinking clearly.Ask for helpOther people may want to offer help but not know how.

Ask -- the process can be a healing one. If you are widowed and have children at home, you may need help with the practical issues of life, such as childcare and survivor benefits.

Turn to othersTell others that you are grieving. There is no reason to hide your grief or sadness. Let others know how you are doing.

Keep your expectations within reasonGrief is a major stress in anyone’s life. Reduce other stresses, and try to keep your expectations of yourself reasonable. Lower your expectations if you need to.

Avoid the "shoulds" and "oughts"Most mental health experts encourage grieving people to avoid the "shoulds" of life and focus on what unavoidably must be done and what one would like to do. Feeling that a good person "really should" do more is especially tough on the bereaved.

I hope these words help

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, September 24, 2003 3:43 PM CDT

I had a visit today,with a very dear Man.
For those of you that read the guestbook entries
he has been writing regularly which I love.
He met Gabriel and Mikala when they would frequent the neigborhood store he worked at.
He is a true crusader in the fight against blood realated cancers.He is also a wonderful kind man. I so enjoyed visiting with him,and our visit helped me decide to postpone the Garage Sale.
I have been running around to much lately and need to take a breath and enjoy my friends and family,thank you John.

Much Peace to you all,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, September 24, 2003 12:41 AM CDT

Today I am watching Crackers.Crackers is Mikala's shitzu-toypoodle mix puppy. 4 moths old and just like a baby.
Ali had to go out of town for work so Mikala stayed with us last night.
The boys love it so much when she is here.
I am continuing getting ready for the Sale(Friday and Saturday)
All proceeds will go to Gabe's Wings.I will then take a little break.
Feeling better today,what a difference a day makes:)

Peace and thank you as always for checking in

Auntie Vicki

Monday, September 22, 2003 8:17 PM CDT

So it came,I have been waiting for a couple days.
I did'nt want it to be here,because I knew how it would feel.I told a friend today it was right in front of my face but I would not let it out.
So it is here,I don't like it.
Those of you who have not lost a young child,whether it be your own or a nephew or niece cannot understand.
Some of you who have lost but were not close to will not understand .
It is a sadness that envelopes you.You don't know when you don't know for how long.It aches and feels forever.
You tell yourself to stop and you can't because you think if you keep going maybe you can get it ALL out and then there won't be anymore sadness anymore aching to talk,to hold to touch.But that is not the case,it will go on .You will never know when it will strike or for how long.
I read I feel the loss of the children I know who have died.I believe that we that have them in are families are blessed and special,we are chosen to have these wonderful children that don't complain,care so much for others,bring so much joy,that you don't know what to do when they are gone,but go on.To keep them alive.
Tonite I ache

Auntie Vicki

Monday, September 22, 2003 2:28 PM CDT

The Walk was a sucess.I want to thank all of you who participated and all of you who donated.That much closer to finding a cure.
My next endevor the garage sale.
Taking it easy today.

Thank you again.

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, September 21, 2003 9:10 PM CDT

Gabe's Wings Team
unoffcial total.2846.00$

Princess Priyanka's Court over 600.00$

Road Warriors 1865.00

Dreamkeepers 425.00

Vons Angels 325.00

I am still not internalizing all of this.

Goddnight Sweet Dreams.

Thank you all

Love ,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, September 20, 2003 11:23 PM CDT

So much work so much time so many friends ,family and people who care.
I want to cry right now but for some reason the tears are not comming.I think I am beat.

Such a big,huge eventful,meaningful day.I can't write anything else right now but thank you,thank you all for the bottom of my heart.Overwelming and big

I love you dear friends,I love you Gabe.
I miss you Gabe one of youe favorite movies is on.Planes Trains and Automobiles

Goodnight,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, September 19, 2003 8:54 AM CDT

I have realized that the only time I don't miss Gabriel is when I am really busy.Well,the walk is tomorrow and I think I have everything taken care of and my heart is aching for him.
I look at this picture of him and I wish so much that I wasn't having to ask you all for donations,I was wishing he was sitting outside tonite on our deck in front of the fire.Talking and laughing.My feelings get very overwelming sometimes.
So sad,I miss him so much.

Goodmorning,

Well tomorrow is the walk. It should be wonderful weather
I am very excited.
There are approximatly 25 friends and family on Gabe's Team.
We are all meeting at our house and then we will caravan
to Lake Phalen.
The other Teams that are part of our friends and families
are Dreamkeepers,Princess Priyanka's Court ,Road Warriors ,
and Von Angels.

Next weekend will be my garage sale,all proceeds will go to "Gabe's Wings". To help the children and their families
that are undergoing cord blood transplants.

I will tell you how the walk went tomorrow night.

Thank you all again who donated.
Auntie Vicki

Monday, September 15, 2003 11:00 PM CDT

I am overwelmed by the kindess of others.So proud of all Gabriel's friends that have taken it upon themselves to
make a differnce.So proud of Mikala for raising over 168.00$
I am over come by the out pouring of Love.

Thank you all

Auntie Vicki

If you have not donated please help save someones loved one
By donating to the Luekemia Lyphoma Society you can pay for research to find cures so people do not have to die,make a diffrence,save a life.

make checks payable to the Leukemia Lyphoma Soceity
send to Vicki Jones 4334 10th ave south
minneapolis Mn 55407

My heart is here,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, September 14, 2003 8:15 AM CDT

Goodmorning,
Please if you watch the program or are checking Gabriel's site for the first time we would like to hear from you.

Take time time to read about Gabriel's Journey during his illness,find out why we must find a cure.

This is what is written on channel fours webiste about Gabriel.

4 Stories: Gabriel's Story

Sep 9, 2003 1:26 pm US/Central
(WCCO-TV) This is the story of Gabriel Xavier Ferguson. The story of a boy with a bright smile and what looked like an even brighter future. But Gabriel's story would end just 14 years after it began.

As a child Gabriel was drawn to all that was magical and mystical. He collected swords, excelled at martial arts and always told his mom he wanted to live in the medieval days.

Gabriel was just 10 when trouble arrived.

"He came home from school and said he felt like he was gong to faint," said Gabriel's mom Alison Guthrie. "He was standing in choir class. He had mentioned his leg hurt. I looked. He had a bump on his leg and there was not a bruise on the leg."

It was a tumor. Bone Cancer. Followed by leukemia. Surgery left Gabriel with a limp, but he never complained about the pain or the chemotherapy. Courage his mom remembers.

"It rocks my soul when I hear people complaining about minute things in their lives that have gone wrong."

Gabriel is gone now. He died last August, leaving his mom and 9-year-old sister Mikala behind.

"It wasn't okay," says Alison. "I want him to know it wasn't okay. "I block it out. And I stay very busy. I know he's here with Mikala and I."

Memories are all that's left, including a lasting impression of the love between mother and son. A mold of their hands was a gift from the hospital. But Alison knows Gabriel would have wanted her to make something of his memory...so she is. She's raising money to fight childhood cancer.

"There are so many precious children that people don't realize how brave these kids are."

Later this month Gabriel's family will walk in Light the Night, an evening walk that raises funds for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

How much of a need is there? Every nine minutes someone dies from a cancer similar to Gabriel's.

(MMIII, Viacom Internet Services Inc. , All Rights Reserved)

Also,the Night The Light Walk is this coming Saturday.
If you have not already donated please send a check made payable
to
Leukemia Lyphoma Society
C/O
Vicki Jones
4334 10th Ave south
Mpls, MN 55407

Or create your own Team to walk using the link below.
Teams created by our friends are
Dreamkeepers,Road warriors,Princess Priyanka's Court,and Gabe's Wings.
Please Think about it:)

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, September 10, 2003 9:01 PM CDT

Gabe's Story will rebroadcast on Sunday at 10am on channel 4 WCCO

So,life is incredible. All of you that have veiwed Gabe's site thank you.

All of you that have asked to be on Gabe's Wings thank you,
all of you wo have donated to the cause thank you.

I had a friend today talk about my involvement with the Leukemia Lymphoma society and Gabe's Wings why are you doing all of this.
I said the only reason is because of Gabriel,a child that lost his life is helping me help others,what a gift,what a tradegy that it takes a loss of a nephew to make me take notice.
But it is okay because I am doing it know and I will
continue to do it.
Please if you have not already take a look at my cafepress.com site.( the link is below)
Remember,Do not be angry at me for asking, because I will always ask.In turn I will not be angry at your reason for saying no.

Blessings and Peace on this Intense Day,September 11th

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, September 9, 2003 6:09 PM CDT

The links are listed below.If you are interested in helping us this year.Thanks to all of you who have already donated.

Goodevening,

Please if you are visiting for the first time leave a message in the guestbook.

Well I must say I am very happy with the what, Randi Kaye and WCCO created tonite.
So much anticipation. It was wonderous to see Gabriel's sweet face on TV.Bittersweet. I still can't believe that he is gone.I wish so much he was here.I wish so much all the other children that have been lost to this diease were here.

Thank you to those who are coming here to read what I write.If Gabriel's story touched you I am happy,He always wanted to be known for something important in his life.

Well he did it. I love you Gabriel. Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, September 9, 2003 6:45 AM CDT

Goodmorning,

I Gabriel's Story will air tonite at 5pm on channel

4 (WCCO) also will air on Sunday morning at 10am.

Please let me know what you think about by signing the guestbook after the program.

Enjoy your day and appreciate your loved ones.

Please honor our children that have been taken away
from there familes.

Peace

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, September 6, 2003 10:49 PM CDT

***********GABRIEL'S STORY WILL AIR ON ************WCCO CHANNEL 4
***********TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 9TH AT 5PM
IT WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish all, Gabriel,Sam,Adam Rachael,Priya,Nathan,Brandon,Ryan,Alex,
all of them were not gone.I will continue to work towards a better understanding of this tragedy,that most people don't understand.

The Light the Night Walk is in 2 weeks.
I am really working on getting people to participate. The only way we can end these sad stories that I know a lot of you read is to fund the research.
I got Gabe's Wings tee-shirts made for
our team they are beautiful. They are on the link below.

Peace.

“YOU CAN’T LIVE A PERFECT DAY WITHOUT DOING SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REPAY YOU”

JOHN WOODEN

A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT HAVE SENT DONATIONS FOR THE WALK

PEACE AND MUCH LOVE TO YOU

If you would like to support the Leukemia Lymphoma Society Light the Night Walk please
write a check made payable to The Leukemia Lymphoma Society.
send to Vicki Jones
4334 10th Ave South
Minneapolis,MN 55407

Your name, if you want will be written on the banner we carry at the walk on September 20th

Auntie Vicki

Friday, September 5, 2003 7:59 AM CDT

******************THE STORY ON GABRIEL WILL AIR ON TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 9TH AT 5PM ON CHANNEL 4 ALSO ON SUNDAY AT 10AM
***********************************

Goodmorning,

Well Mikala has taken the bus home now everyday.
She feels very proud.My sons Logan and Mac have been in school,Mac's first day was yesterday,he was great!

I saw the first preview of Gabriel's
story.It was on the 10pm news.It was wonderful to see his pictures on the news,the one that Ali drew of him was
one the the pictures.
Please tell all you know.
Also remember the walk is coming up

The Light the Night Walk is in 2 weeks.
I am really working on getting people to participate. The only way we can end these sad stories that I know a lot of you read is to fund the research.
I got Gabe's Wings tee-shirts made for
our team they are beautiful. They are on the link below.

Peace.

“YOU CAN’T LIVE A PERFECT DAY WITHOUT DOING SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REPAY YOU”

JOHN WOODEN

A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT HAVE SENT DONATIONS FOR THE WALK

PEACE AND MUCH LOVE TO YOU

If you would like to support the Leukemia Lymphoma Society Light the Night Walk please
write a check made payable to The Leukemia Lymphoma Society.
send to Vicki Jones
4334 10th Ave South
Minneapolis,MN 55407

Your name, if you want will be written on the banner we carry at the walk on September 20th

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, September 2, 2003 8:33 AM CDT

******************THE STORY ON GABRIEL WILL AIR ON TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 9TH AT 5PM ON CHANNEL 4 ( WCCO)
***********************************88888

Goodmorning,

Fall is here and Mikala will start school this week. She has decided to ride the bus which is a huge thing. She did'nt want to last year because she and Gabriel rode it together.Time has a way of helpng us.

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL TO ALL OF YOU THAT GO. IT IS A PERFECT DAY TODAY
LOGAN WILL START SECOND GRADE TODAY.

MIKALA STARTS ON WEDNESDAY.

The Light the Night Walk is in 2 weeks.
I am really working on getting people to participate. The only way we can end these sad stories that I know a lot of you read is to fund the research.
I got Gabe's Wings tee-shirts made for
our team they are beautiful. They are on the link below.

Peace.

“YOU CAN’T LIVE A PERFECT DAY WITHOUT DOING SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REPAY YOU”

JOHN WOODEN

A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT HAVE SENT DONATIONS FOR THE WALK

PEACE AND MUCH LOVE TO YOU

If you would like to support the Leukemia Lymphoma Society Light the Night Walk please
write a check made payable to The Leukemia Lymphoma Society.
send to Vicki Jones
4334 10th Ave South
Minneapolis,MN 55407

Your name, if you want will be written on the banner we carry at the walk on September 20th

Auntie Vicki

Monday, September 1, 2003 8:29 AM CDT

Goodmorning,

Well I know I have'nt updated much lately.
I have been feeling really quiet lately.I have not wanted to share my feelings because a lot of them are anger.
As some of you haveseen in previous posts. So I have felt it best not to write because I don't want to force my thoughts on people,especailly anger.
Anyway,Fall is here and Mikala will start school this week. She has decided to ride the bus which is a huge thing. She did'nt want to last year because she and Gabriel rode it together.Time has a way of helpng us.
The Light the Night Walk is in 2 weeks.
I am really working on getting people to participate. The only way we can end these sad stories that I know a lot of you read is to fund the research.
I got Gabe's Wings tee-shirts made for
our team they are beautiful. They are on the link below.

Also channel 4 WCCO will be doing a story on Gabe. We will be meeting with
them on Wednesday of this week. I think it will air on Saturday but I will let you all know.

Peace.

“YOU CAN’T LIVE A PERFECT DAY WITHOUT DOING SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REPAY YOU”

JOHN WOODEN

A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT HAVE SENT DONATIONS FOR THE WALK

PEACE AND MUCH LOVE TO YOU

If you would like to support the Leukemia Lymphoma Society Light the Night Walk please
write a check made payable to The Leukemia Lymphoma Society.
send to Vicki Jones
4334 10th Ave South
Minneapolis,MN 55407

Your name, if you want will be written on the banner we carry at the walk on September 20th

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, August 27, 2003 8:45 PM CDT

“YOU CAN’T LIVE A PERFECT DAY WITHOUT DOING SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REPAY YOU”

JOHN WOODEN

a SPECIAL THANK YOU TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT HAVE SENT DONATIONS

PEACE AND MUCH LOVE TO YOU

If you would like to support the Leukemia Lymphoma Society Light the Night Walk please
write a check made payable to The Leukemia Lymphoma Society.
send to Vicki Jones
4334 10th Ave South
Minneapolis,MN 55407

Your name, if you want will be written on the banner we carry at the walk on September 20th

I REALLY MISS GABE, AND THE REALITY OF THE MISSING IS HIDDEN BY DAILY LIFE.
BECAUSE WHEN I LOOK AT HIS PICTURE THE PAIN OF HIS LOSS COMES BARRELING BACK
Auntie Vicki

Monday, August 25, 2003 9:23 AM CDT

Another entry I did not want to write................

It is about a sweet little girl who had battled with Leukemia twice in her young life. She left this earth
this morning. She fought so hard undergoing two stem cell transplants in less then a few months.

She, along with Gabriel and all the other children that
have been taken from us, will make me continue my fight to
raise money for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society.

Please if you feel the need to help to make a difference

write a check made payable to The Leukemia Lymphoma Society.
send to Vicki Jones
4334 10th Ave South
Minneapolis,MN 55407

your name if you want will be written on the banner we carry at the walk on September 20th

If you want to walk please e-mail me

Auntie Vicki

Friday, August 22, 2003 9:14 PM CDT

Please take a minute to look at that sweet face

Pain is interesting, so is life. I hadn't really looked
At a picture of Gabe for a while. I did today and I started to cry.
So much promise so many dreams...............
I realized that life helps those grieving because
You go on, even if you don't think want to you do.
Everyday your life fills with things that you choose to fill the void.
Sometimes we choose tears, lonliness, and other times
We choose The Light the Night Walk, The Human Society, The Relay For Life, Gabe’s Wings, Memorials, Beautiful cards.
How magical is it when we can take our pain and create beauty and happiness for others.

I want to thank all of those who have lost a precious
Child and have taken that grief energy and created beauty
Love and compassion for others.

Peace

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, August 21, 2003 7:49 AM CDT

Please send positive prayers and energies to the hospital floor
(4A) on which Gabe was on.
A few of the children are having very hard times right
now. So whoever you talk to or whatever you do
when your feeling sick or down please take a minute
today a send some goodness to the childern.

Peace and health

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, August 19, 2003 12:00 AM CDT

Embrace love when it comes your way,
and once it’s gone,
cherish the happy moments and
continue to live your own life to its fullest

Tuesday, August 19, 2003 9:14 AM CDT

Monday, August 18, 2003 5:04 PM CDT

So, way to long. I guess I just don't know what to say right now.
I was at Ali and Mikala's today and Gabe's ashes are there in a beautiful urn.
I just held it and cried. I am not happy about most things.
I realize every day that I don't get excited about much anymore.
A huge part of my life my hopes are gone. Having a wonderful older boy to be a part of my sons lives, to watch Gabe's dreams come true to be able to watch this incredible young man grow old.

It is not fair ,life is not fair

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, August 13, 2003 8:44 PM CDT

Sorry I have not posted in a while.Ever since Gabe's
annivesary I feel like my oomph and energy have dwindled
Maybe I will be better tomorow,two days off.

Goodnight
Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, August 10, 2003 8:00 AM CDT

Back to work today.
Went through pictures yesterday will post some different
ones soon.

A special thanks to all of you who are signing up for the
Light the Night Walk

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, August 8, 2003 2:47 PM CDT

I love the sun. My vacation is ending,I got to sit out
in the sun quietly by myself today.That does'nt happen very often.:)
I had a great morning. I did something that was big
for me to take care of ,a part of my grieving journey.
I felt strong and at peace,I love the giving of gifts,
spiritual gifts.
Giving and receiving them is the best.

I thankful for this day.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

I love you Gabe

Wednesday, August 6, 2003 10:36 PM CDT

I think I have entered a new grief stage.
I am not sure what it is except that I feel
really angry,not about anything or anyone
in particular,just mad.
I have'nt known what to write because I have felt blah.
I keep reading about these sweet children and I am sick
of it.
I am mad that Gabe is not here to help his sister
and Mom.I am mad that I Mom misses Gabe so much,he used to go to her house almost every weekend.
I am mad that the Doctors could not save Gabe,
I am mad that he had to be in so much pain,and that I did'nt even get to say Goddbye to him,because for so long
while in was in the hospital he did'nt communicate with us.
I am mad my son's won't get to grow up with him.That
they new him only for a few years.
I am mad he does'nt get to have children.
I am so @#$##@@ mad.
SO here I sit.I can't change it,can't make it go away,
but I can make it better,by writing,by raising awareness and money for the cause.By telling people about Gabe and that no child and their family should ever have to go through this hell.No Mother should have to have her last hug be the one when her child is dying in her arms.
No sister should have to be left alone to grow up without her older brother.I could not save Gabe but I will do my best to help save others.

Peace,Sweet Dreams

Auntie Vicki

Monday, August 4, 2003 12:32 AM CDT

A year has passed. The last
365 days have gone by
so quickly. The memories still
remain strong. We had a nice day yesterday.
We went to Lakewood cemetary.
We sat by the water,Mikala ran
around while her sweet
puppy crackers chased her.
It was nice because when
the tears were coming heavily
I would look at that puppy
running side ways and
I could'nt help but laugh.

What I learned in these
365 days is that, I will
always feel sadness when
I think of sweet Gabriel,
sometimes it will overwelm
me but most of the time now
it comes and is gently
taken away by the
presense of Gabriel.
We all talked a lot about that yesterday. Because
we all feel him around
us everyday,it may not
be exactly when we
want him to be here
but he is here.
In the gentle breeze,
in the soft branches
of a white pine
in the song of a crow,
in the bunny that sits for
minutes at a time in our yard.
In a song that plays,
in Mikala's voice in her step.
In My Mothers house he is here.
In reality the only
way he can be,so it is
the best way it can be.

I thank you all from
the depth of my heart
for being here
reading and not judging,
not trying to impart

opinion,instead giving
guidence and support I
hope I have helped and
will continue to help
you see things as you
might not see them in
your own eyes. We all can
help each other become

better human beings if
we remember
that love and caring
about each other will
help keep this world a
better place.

Peace (*)

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, August 3, 2003 8:49 AM CDT

Dear Gabe,

I love you,miss you and wish you had'nt had to leave us.
11:25 am
35 minutes until Gabe left us last year
I remember his hospital room was full of friends and family.
We were listening to music holding hands hugging loving our sweet Gabriel.
Strange now waiting ...........
I am headed to the cematary where Gabe was cremated to meet Ali,Mikala,and others.

Thank you for being here today.

Auntie Vicki
* Please if you check in today sign the guest book

Saturday, August 2, 2003 7:58 PM CDT

I don't have many words tonite.I feel drained from work today and trying to stay composed.
If you read this and you want to do something for Gabe tomorrow we are sending up baloons with notes on them to Gabe.
He left us at 12pm. It is so strange to think that today was the last full day he was alive,I miss him so.......
So sad so very very sad.

This is a copy of the e-mail message that Gabe sent me on May 16 th 2002

There are many words I could use to describe my feelings toward you all, but I believe there is only word that would do…Thankful.

I am thankful for…

The Time you’ve spent with me.

The Help you’ve given me.

The A

The N

The Kindness

The F

The Unparalleled gift of Love.

I sent him this response

A cceptance
N uturing
F riendship
He didn't know how to finish it,and alas he never got a chance.

Peace Auntie Vicki

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday, August 2, 2003 7:29 AM CDT

364 days since Gabriel died,I am numb today. I have to work from 9-5:30 ,not wanting to I would like to be with my family.

Here is the entry from last year What a day difference a day makes. I wish it was'nt here.

Goodmorning,
6:23 am
Well we still our here with Gabe.A mostly peaceful night,Gabe did seem to be in a lot of paqin for a period of the early morning.
bless you all and keep your prayers coming strong Gabe is wonderful.
God BLess,
Auntie Vicki

Gabe is still with us.Being snuggled by his Mom read to by his Grandma Regine.TOuched and talked to by his Aunts,Poppa,and Ami.LOved by all that enter his room.He is truly a miricle.

Keep loving him and praying for him and us.

We so appreicate all you are giving us dear God and wonderful friends.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, August 02, 2002 at 05:47 PM (CDT)

Well I must tell you that this journey I have been a part of with Gabe has been incredible.

To know so many people in this world love and have prayed
for him hundreds of times a day in these last 6 months is a gift most people won't know in a lifetime.

Gabe is still here, we have decided to concentrate on making him comfortable as pain free as possible,and to help him pass on to his next journey with ease.
We don't know how long he will stay with us but we will enjoy every second of it.

I love Gabe so much,I will miss him more then anyone can imagine,I watched him come into this world. I will watch him leave.

One thing Gabe always wanted was to make a huge impact on this world,he obivously has.If you would please write and post a message on how Gabe changed or made an impact on your life.

Gabe you are a sweet darling of a young man I will miss your body in my house,in my car in the grass playing with Logan Mac and Mikala in the back yard.

*****Please take some time to write to ALison,Gabes Mom. She will needs us to uplift and carry her and Mikala*******

I don't ever want to stop writing.
I love you Gabe.

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

I will update throughout the evening

Thursday, July 31, 2003 5:21 PM CDT

I found this while looking up some information on numerology.

This is what it said about Gabe.

A Life Path 5 person is usually very versatile, adventurous, and progressive. With a 5 life path, you are one of those people who is always striving to find answers to the many questions that life poses. You want to be totally unrestrained, as this is the sign of freedom and independence. You abhor routine and boring work, and you are not very good at staying with everyday tasks that must be finished on time. You are, however, a good communicator, and you know how to motivate people around you, perhaps inclining you to be a teacher of some sort. A love of adventure may dominate your life. This may take the form of mental or physical manifestation, but in either case, you thrill to the chance for exploration and blazing new trails. You are apt to be multi-talented, but just as likely to suffer from some lack of direction, and there is often some confusion surrounding your ambition.
On the average, the number 5 personality is rather happy-go-lucky; living for today, and not worrying too much about tomorrow. It is important for you to mix with people of a like mind, and try to avoid those that are too serious and demanding. It is also important for you to find a job that provides thought-provoking tasks rather than routine and redundant responsibilities. You do best dealing with people, but the important thing is that you have the freedom to express yourself at all times. You have an innate ability to think through complex matters and analyze them quickly, but then be off to something new.
In the most negative application or use of the 5 energies, you could become very irresponsible in tasks and decisions concerning your home and business life.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, July 30, 2003 11:12 PM CDT

Tonite I am tearful looking at this beautiful picture of a beautiful brother and his sweet sister.Tonite I think about why these things need to happen,what purpose does the loss of such a wonderful boy bring .
I miss him......................

A guest book entry from a friend

Peace

Auntie Vickly

Wednesday, July 30, 2003 7:02 AM CDT

Cloudy day.............

vivid memories of our last days at the hospital
We were still full of hope,believing that Gabe could turn around.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, July 29, 2003 12:12 AM CDT

.We are getting closer, and I am feeling empty and down.
Not depressed really just melancholy and wondering if I really should have taken on The Light The Night Walk this year.
I had some much hope that people would rally around it.
Everybody seems so busy,why can't we just slow down?
I am feeling I am going to let them down

Auntie Vicki

From last year..............................

Monday, July 29, 2002 at 08:45 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Gabe is in extreme pain from what Regine has told me.

They just did a chest X-ray and will look at the CT scan results this morning.
WE must believe and pray that Gabe can get through this.
I am fearful,I don't want to be so I pray to God to take my fear away.

We need to send Gabe Golden light and healing energy and prayers that Good things are happening to and for him,he has been through so much you can't even imagine,because he wants to grow up,travel to Japan get married and have children of his own.

Please keep posting messages.

Please Keep your prayer energies high.

GOD BLESS GABE
Gabes Auntie

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Tuesday, July 29, 2003 12:12 AM CDT

Saturday, July 26, 2003 5:03 PM CDT

My sister Lisa from seattle called today,feeling really
sad about Gabe . I realize everyday how we all go through the greiving process so diffrently.
She said that the loss of him is harder now then it was
when he first left us,we all go through the stages in
our own time and that is good.

I saw a ice blue VW bug from the 1970's today.
it was first on sale when Gabe got sick last year.
I told myself I would by it for him when he
got better,it is still for sale and shows up in different
places in our neighborhood,it makes me smile.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki
please keep praying for Priya

Thursday, July 24, 2003 9:51 PM CDT

So it is strange how your mind works. I wish Gabe were back here so much. Logan, Mac and I talked about Angels tonite.
There were sunbeams shining through the clouds and I told them that the angels made them. We talked about what angels ate,what they did,what they looked like. Mac asked if he were an angel if I would be his Mommy angel. I said that if I were he were an angel and I was not an angel I could not hug him like I do now. I could hug him like I hug Gabe,with music and clouds and Mikala's voice,and memories. I hug all those things so hard everyday,and I am so grateful I have them to hold onto and embrace everyday

People forget because they do not look at the pictures of the children that have left us.Whenever I look at this picture of Gabe and Mikala I cry because I can hear his voice,see his sweet hands while his Mother held them so close,remeber how cool he was.
People forget when they don't look.
I will always look,and hope that I will see Gabe again.

I send blessings to you all.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki
Please keep praying for Pryianka

Tuesday, July 22, 2003 11:04 PM CDT

Tonite I don't know what to say except that as August 3rd
approaches and as I find children that are suppose to be getting better are getting sicker,I feel a sense of extreme frustration.

Pleae continue to pray for this sweet girl,she is in critical condition,and I don't know what else to do.

Peace

Auntie Vicki

Monday, July 21, 2003 10:07 PM CDT

Please send special prayers to a young girl that is having a very hard time right now
Please send her strength and energey
to survive this horrendous battle she is fighting

Please let her grow old with her family, you have taken so many sweet children recently please spare this one.
Help her get through this Please give her strength to get through this. Auntie Vicki
Please pray for her healing and strength

Monday, July 21, 2003 7:22 AM CDT

Complicated times as August 3rd is approaching.
Heavy heart, deep thoughts and frustration

peace,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, July 20, 2003 7:50 PM CDT

So I am feeling kind of strange. Sad because peoples lives go on. Gabe is gone and people just go on. I want them to remember him,to make time for him. I want them to miss him as much as I do. I know that is not fair,I know his friends
care about him,people are sad he is gone,but their lives have filled up with other things,it makes me sad.

I don't know,I am afraid that if I don't think of him everyday,don't update don't try that I will forget him.I know that sounds studid to some,but that is how I feel.
I feel that if I keep doing this he will still be here .

I am scared that if I don't feel sad then that means him be gone does'nt matter.

I don't know what to do.................. I don't want to let go because I think I will loose him

Saturday, July 19, 2003 10:13 PM CDT

So tonite I took a different way home from work,one I seldom take. Gabe had been on my mind during my ride home.
I pulled up to a stoplight and was waiting for it to turn.
I saw a man sitting in his car looking calm, kind.I looked again and it was a face I regonized from the past, I looked again to be sure and I thought,what do I have to loose.
The light turned green and I turned around and parked behind him.
I got out of my car and walked up to his window and said
"Hi",he paused and looked at me and then said "Hi" back.
He regonized me ,I was very happy,I told him how we all were doing.He asked about Mikala and Ali.We talked about
life and death and enjoying what we have for the day because you never know when it will or you will b taken away. He smiled his kind smile,it felt good to see him.
We talked for quite awhile and then his wife came to the car,he introduced us,she looked very familar she felt the same as I.
I told him how much I enjoyed seeing him,He told me to give Ali a hug.
I sad Goddbye,they drove off..........
I remebered how much he cared about Gabe,how he would talk
so gently to him and to us. He truly cared about Gabe and his life,he truly cared about our sorrow,He was the one that told us it was time to say Good bye to Gabe I will never forget him...........

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, July 17, 2003 9:23 PM CDT

So the bunny is back. It was at Tenzin's house
yesterday and I came outside tonite and there it was sitting in the exact same spot. I was talking to it and thought I would call Ali and tell her,I also did'nt want the new neighbor to think I was crazy.
I hung up with Ali and that bunny stayed the whole time I talked to our new neighbor about 1/2 hour.

I just wanted to share that with you. I really believe it is Gabe's way of helping me be ok

Peace

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, July 17, 2003 8:32 AM CDT

Good morning,

I am so excited.We had the kick off meeting
for the Light the night walk last night.
It was great.

I got a lot of supplies and met a lot of nice people.
You can now sign up for Gabe's Wings Team by going to
http://register.lightthenight.org/LTNRegister/register.jsp

find Minnesota
click on Phalen
enter required in formation
find Gabe's Wings under Team Name
and your set.

It will be wonderful and it will helps us to fund research
so other wonderful children don't have to die .

Peace

Auntie Vicki
Please e-mail me with questions

Tuesday, July 15, 2003 1:28 PM CDT

Our neighbors are moving.............
The youngest girl was a very important part of our family.She was with us when we picked up Gabe's ashes.
She came to Gabe's service and came to the hospital
to watch the boys on many occasion.
I don't think I truly appreciated her until now she is moving.
Sometimes Logan and her would get into fights but that is just part of growing up. They had a lot of fun
together They used to play teen ager and spys. We would make forts and put up the tent and they would play for hours.
She was a part of our family and I am going to so truly miss her I don't know what else to say.
I am really going to miss her................Logan used to hug her everynight when it was time for her to go home.
Mac loves her too.It is just that Logan and Tenzin had a few more years together. I remember curling her hair and her playing with Mikala,Tatoos,candy,pizza,dancing,basketball,scary stories,watching movies.......................

I will miss her ..........

Peace

Sunday, July 13, 2003 8:14 PM CDT

A Garth Brooks Song that is on the cd A boy made for Gabe.

I could not get the music but the lyrics speak my sentiments..............

THE DANCE

Looking back at the memory of the dance we shared
beneath the stars above for a moment all the world was right
how could I have known that you'd ever say good-bye
and now I am glad I didn't know the way it all would end
the way it all would go.
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
but I'd of had to miss the dance.

Holding you I held everything for a moment wasn't I the king
but if I had only known how the king would fall
hey, who's to say you know, I might have changed it all
and now I am glad I didn't know the way it all would end
the way it all would go.

Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
but I'd of had to miss the dance.
Yes my life, is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
but I'd of had to miss the dance.

Friday, July 11, 2003 3:58 PM CDT

I find this appropriate for so many of us lately.......
A very insightful Mother has this posted on her son's site

What Is Normal?
Written by Clara Hinton | Jan 27, 2003

Following a loss, well-meaning friends & family members have often said, "I wish that he/she would act normal again. It's been so long since we've had any fun together. I can't wait until the old person returns.
Unfortunately, what most people don't understand is that life will never, ever again be the same for the parents who have lost a child.

The fact is that the parents often realize early on, "I forget how to feel normal! I don't even know what normal is anymore!" When a child dies, no matter what the surrounding circumstances, life as was once known, is turned upside down for a while. Nothing makes much sense. The things that kept life so busy before the death of the child don't matter anymore.

Who cares if the laundry is clean? Who worries about keeping the garage neat? Why bother to think about buying groceries? Food has lost its taste, & there is no energy to cook a meal. For a long time following the death of a child, life seems void & meaningless. Friends & family members find this part of grief particularly disturbing. Others are ready to move forward in life, taking on the mundane routines of living once again. For the parent, though, life will never be viewed quite the same again.

Normal takes on a new meaning to parents who have had a child die. Things such a fine china, fancy furniture, & collectible knick-knacks don't mean anything. It is of no interest to discuss the make & model of the car you are driving. What matters is finding some way to help you get through this time of acceptance & healing. There is no set of rules for normal living following the loss of a child. Some people would prefer there to be a book of rules. It would make life a lot easier for everyone to have special grief guidelines to follow. Instead, we must learn to accept as normal whatever anyone chooses as his/her way of working through the particular grief of the day.

We must each remember that grief is individual, & grief will touch every person just a little bit differently. Tears. Anger. Frustration. Excessive talking. No talking. Working longer hours. All are normal ways to work
through the tremendously difficult emotional swings of child loss. A parent will often think that he/she will never again resume normal living. In a sense, that is correct. I will never again be the same because losing a
child changes the way a parent views life. Grief never leaves. It becomes more gentle, but it never completely goes away.

All of this is not to say that life will never be joyful again. Joy will return, but probably in different ways than you experienced joy before the death of your child. Priorities in life will change. Small things will carry great meaning. A flower will take on the look of a miracle. The blue sky will give a feeling of renewed hope & inspiration. Somewhere deep down inside you will know that your new "normal" is a more simplistic, more abundant way of viewing life.

If you are feeling like you have forgotten what normal is since your child died, you are not alone. Every parent who has experienced child loss goes through a time of questioning. Following the questioning, though,is a renewed sense of self & a new perspective of life. Grief never leaves, & you'll never feel like your old normal self again. But, you will feel hope & joy as you continue on in your journey of healing from the deep,life-changing grief of child loss.

Clara Hinton Author - Silent Grief Founder -
http://www.silentgrief.com

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, July 7, 2003 5:44 PM CDT

Well,

I have been trying to figure out what to write today.
So many mixed emotions. Everyday the day that Gabe died grows farther away.I feel somedays that I think about
him several times a day,others not as many.
But because as I have said before I have not encounterd
this time in my life yet,meaning the one year aniversary
of Gabes death,the memories are so vivid.Today I was laying down with Mac and memory came into my head,Gabe had
to get dialysis and his blood pressure kept dropping so I was standing at the foot of his bed rubbing his feet and
legs telling him to keep his pressure up so they could keep doing the dialysis.His pressure would drop and I would tell him to get the numbers up to a certain number and the would go up.
You need to undstand at the the time Gabe was not really communicating with us. He was not in a coma but as they
told us he was "ubtunded".
Anyway the kidney Doctor and a kidney doctor from Greece were in Gabes room I had to step out to talk to the other Doctors and when I looked in the room to check if everything was ok the doctor was rubbing Gabes legs and talking to him. So bittersweet...........

Peace

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, July 5, 2003 7:51 AM CDT

Good morning,

I work today and tomorrow. We had a wonderful 4th of
July. Lots of good fod and family. I felt really good
that we could get the families together,it is somehow
a difficult feet these days.
Logan went with Ali and Mikala to watch the Big fireworks
in Minneapolis and Mac stayed here and we lit off little fireworks.

I hope all is well and that you all enjoyed.

Peace
Auntie Vicki

Friday, July 4, 2003 9:18 PM CDT

I didn’t think I would update tonight but all day I have thought about Gabe.
My husband said he thought about Gabe all morning.
What do those do that have lost that don't think of there loved ones.

I am melancholy tonight. Just missing..................

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, July 3, 2003 11:21 PM CDT

Happy Fourth of July...............

Peace and a Heartfelt Hug.

Please those of you reading today,send good thoughts to
Priya,and Ryan. They are both in the Hospital undergoing
cordblood transplants.

Also a moment of silence and sweet thought for the mothers and fathers who have lost children.
Rachael,Ryan,Sam,Adam,Nathan, Hermes and Aristofanis

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, July 2, 2003 9:14 PM CDT

It is strange, this summer. Last summer was filled with hospitals,work,family,Gabe.

This summer I have time to mow my lawn, work out, garden.
Part of me enjoys this down time. The other part of me misses the busy-ness of last year.
The familar faces of the nurses at the hospital,the doctor updates.Gabe.
The rushing to the hospital because Gabe squeezed a nurses
hand.
The hope he would survive.

Summertime.......................................

Auntie Vicki

Monday, June 30, 2003 8:07 PM CDT

NEW PICTURES FROM GABES BIRTHDAY 2003

Sometimes I get so mad that this happened to Gabe and our family
and I want people to know what Gabe went through.
To understand that when I write and why I keep writing
is because he risked his life to stay with us.
He told me when he was diagnoised with the Luekemia
that he had known even before the doctors told him.
He believed we believed that this was the best thing we could do for him.Look what happened.
He spent the last 5 months of his 14 years in a hospital room.

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, June 29, 2003 7:38 PM CDT

ENTRY FROM LAST YEAR>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 08:16 PM (CDT)

goodevening,

Gabe opened eyes and lightly squeezed one of
the nurses hands,he also cried today.He is still not
coherent but he is showing signs for improving.
Blood pressure a little high today a little fever.

The biggest concern is the bleeding he is having due
to the graft versus host diease.

Please keep up your praying and positive thoughts.
He is getting stronger and every littl positive thought
prayer helps.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Peace

Thursday, June 26, 2003 3:17 PM CDT

The bunnies were here today,three of them.......................

Please visit this website about the life of these two sweet little brothers
http://www.caringbridge.org/nc/koumpourasboys/

I just recieved my box from cafepress.com. Something I had been eargerly awaiting for a few weeks.
I was so excited to see the product,my design for "Gabes Wings" on something real.

I opened the box and burst into tears because having these things to hold means Gabe is really gone.
I know that might sound silly but it just hit me like a ton of bricks.

I would not have made "Gabe's Wings" if he were still here.

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, June 24, 2003 10:23 AM CDT

So, Mikala is missing Gabe so much right now,I am so saddened that this sweet little girl has had to lose her wonderful brother.

They did everything together.While Ali was working they
were together.They went down to my Moms everyweekend together.They played viedo games,cooked together,watched movies together,laughed together everything..........

peace

auntie Vicki

Sunday, June 22, 2003 8:36 AM CDT

Good Day- Ali is home Mikala is happy. My son Logan had an MRI yesterday,hi did a great job we will get results soon.
He gets migraines.

We watched home moives last night.Gabe was in them,Ali got really sad so Mikala and her went home.

I miss Gabe but I can feel him around.

So sweet,so sad

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, June 19, 2003 9:21 AM CDT

Goodmorning,

All is well.. The sun is shining the birds are singing.
Mikala is staying with us wednesday and thursday.
When Logan,Mikala and Mac were going to sleep last night I got sad,I imagined Gabe up on the computer and Mikala calling him to come in the room with them.
So I brought a picture of him in.I did'nt tell the kids but it made me feel better.
That is what it is all about.
Figuring what we need to do to help us get through the loss of Gabe and all they other sweets that have had to leave their families.
Whatever you need to make you smile do it.

Peace,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, June 17, 2003 10:44 AM CDT

I find you

I find you in the little things that pass through out my day,a breeze that blows through my hair and cools my warm brown skin.

I find you in the songs that play, when I am here alone.

I find you when the bunnies are running through our yard.

I find you in your sisters face,and in her voice so
sweet.

I find you in the stars above, twinkling oh so bright.

I find you in our backyard when it is quiet in the night.

I find you in the little things that pass through out my day and oh how peaceful it makes me feel because I know you feel the same way.

Monday, June 16, 2003 7:07 AM CDT

MY POST FROM A year ago......

Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 08:53 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe just underwent surgery to put a cathter in for dialysis. He is stable and wanting to go home.
Spread the word for his healing.

Monday June 16th 2003
Please read below

Please continue to think about walking with us at the
Light the Night Walk.
We will be having a kick off party on Wednesday July 16th for the Team Captains at Jullians at the MOA
Please contact me

The Leukemia Lymphoma Society trying to find cures for all blood related cancers

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, June 15, 2003 8:34 AM CDT

HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO ALL YOU WONDERFUL DAD'S

Auntie Vicki

Sat, June 14, 2003 7:30 AM CDT

So,

I wasn't going to write today because I am so very sad.
We were having my brother in-laws dog stay with us for a while.A sweet lab mix named Sydney.
Chuck loved and my two boys who were always afraied of dogs loved her.The three of them would talk her for walks at least three times a day,play with her talk to her.
They were all out at a friends house helping build their deck and Sydney
ran out into the street and was hit.
There was nothing they could do for her.She had been leashed all day and they were going to play.
It is one of the most awful things I have encountered in my life.The pain on my husband and boys face the pain
my brother in law is feeling.I hate death hate it..........

I don't get it,how are they chosen,the ones taken so young.
Why did Gregory Peck get to live until 87 and Gabe had to die at 14,Rachael,Sam,Ryan,Nathan, and so many more,why did they not get the chance to experience all of life?
What was so special about them that they were taken?
Why can't anybody answer this for me?

Why were we the families picked to suffer the heartache,pain and loss,what is so special about us that
whomever thought we could endure.I hate it.
I want Gabe back. I want him back for his Mom,his sweet sister who has been writing notes to him,for his friends
his Ohmee,Papa,his Dad,Regine,Auntie Pam,Auntie lisa
for me.I want him back...........................................................................................

Auntie Vicki
I want them all back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 11, 2003 10:16 PM CDT

So,
I normally dont't write about stuff like this but I am sure Gabe got a kick.

The show Trading Sapaces is filming a block away from us.
Tonite I was walking SydneyI was carrying Mac when my graceful self tripped and fell.
Of course directly in front of one of the houses,two of the guys from the show got out of thier jeep to make sure I was okay,boy did I feel silly.
Nice scrape on my knee and elbow,Mac ,my youngest is okay.

Got my picture taken with Paige,if you follow the show:)

Tanks Gabe,I hear your laughter:)
I love you.
Your Mom is working way to hard,Help her figure some stuff out.

Auntie Vicki

Monday, June 9, 2003 10:17 PM CDT

I look at the picture of you and Mikala.
Through it I hear your sweet voice, your laugh.
I see your appetite, your style, your talent,
your playfullness, your patience, your humor,
your love, your boyish charm boy.
I sure do miss all of you.
I wish you were here..............

I will never "pretend to forget you" and that it is all alright,I promise you that

Auntie Vicki

Monday, June 9, 2003 9:09 AM CDT

Not much new,still feeling the days,intense memories.
Knowing that their is nothing I can do to bring Gabe back,
so I must continue to keep him alive through.
My journaling,Gabe's Wings the Light the Night Walk. his garden,the list will go on and on.

For I cannot ask why because know one can really tell.
Gabe seems to try and help me from being negative when I write lately.I will be already to write something really angry down and all of a sudden Gabe comes into my head and I think of something diffrent to write.........

Auntie Vicki

Please check out
http://www.cafeshops.com/gabes_wings
and www.caringbridge.org/mn/rachaelmayo

Sunday, June 8, 2003 7:50 AM CDT

This was my journal entry for one of the last days Gabe
got to go home.He played with his cat Sarafina
and hung out. TWo of the things he liked to do best.

Auntie Vicki

*************************************************

Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 09:01 PM (CDT)
************************************************

Greetings,

Hope you are all well today.Gabe got to go
out on pass again today, for about 4 hrs.
Hung out at home.
Has a fever tonite so any of you reading please say an extra pray that the fever goes away.

More tomorrow.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

P.S
Please keep writing in the guest book

Friday, June 6, 2003 8:39 AM CDT

Please look at the new photo posted

Tough days right know. This is time time of year when I really started increasing my time at the Hospital.
The birds singing in the morning,there is something in the air bringing me intense feelings.

It is reallly strange.

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, June 4, 2003 9:58 PM CDT

I miss Gabe so much,no one could ever understand.I have many pictures of him around our house.Tonite I looked at one and said "You don't have any idea how much I miss you"
and then I thought to myself,you do know.I was out walking outside today and I looked up into the sky,it took my breath away,the intense feeling of Gabe was their.When I was getting ready for work this morning,I felt June 4th 2002 alll around me,not the exactness of it but the feeling of intenseness,that surrounded these last months of Gabe's life.I want them back. I want him back.I want him back so bad I could just crumble.
I miss him so much I want him back,I want him back ,I want him back,I want him back............

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, June 4, 2003 7:42 PM CDT

Bunnies bunnies bunnies.
THis morning when I woke up tonite when I got home.Running around chasing eachother:)
Gabe and one of his new friends:)

Scanner down,I need a digital camera.
Maybe tomorrow

Smiles and Sweet Thoughts

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, June 3, 2003 9:06 AM CDT

****Please think of the Family of a sweet little boy that left his family at 4:30 this morning after a long battle with AML****************
I am so sorry............

I am sorry I was unable to post the pictures.
Hopefully tonite.

I have learned that since Gabe has died I am still sick with sadness,and I just want him back.The differnt things I fill my life with in regards to him are because I have no other choice and if they can make a differnce in one persons lfe it brings some solace.I cannot look at pictures of him for to long at a time because I get to sad.

Auntie Vicki

Monday, June 2, 2003 8:56 AM CDT

Enjoy your day.

New pictures of dedication of Gabe's bench tonite

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, May 31, 2003 8:33 PM CDT

How much things change,a year ago today this was my entry

Friday, May 31, 2002 at 08:52 PM (CDT)

Greetings Dear People,

Today was a good day for Gabe He plans to go home on Monday. Needs to be on oral meds
and counts rising,keep him in is prayers as you always do.

You are all so wonderful.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, May 29, 2003 9:56 PM CDT

Goodevening,

Today we went to what would have been Gabe's High School.
His ninth grade class wanted to do something in memory of Gabe.
They raised money to purchase a beautiful bench and plaque
to be placed in the school.What a beautiful tribute and a beautiful thought.
Many young friends of Gabe's put a lot of effort into ensuring that this happened.Some I was able to be with today,Angie,Hadija,Catlin a heartfelt thank you goes out to all of you,actualy the entire school for caring about
such a wonderful boy as Gabe.

I am sure he is smiling and happy that all of you still think about him.

As always I wish he were here with us physically but alas he is not.
His spirit and being is with us,we must open our hearts
and minds to see the beautiful gifts he gives us everyday.
PLEASE SIGN THE GUESTBOOK:)
Goodnight,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, May 28, 2003 6:55 AM CDT

Goodmorning,

A quick note before I get off to work and then the Leukemia Lymphoma society Light the Night Walk commitee meeting.
So far I have 3 wonderful friends that have said they will be team captains.I would love to see somemore.
Please visit the website below to see what I am talking about.What a way to show we care.
Thanks to a special friend who said they wolud do it with me if they lived here:)

Enjoy your day and spread as much happiness as you can.

Auntie Vicki

New pictures tomorrow**************************************

Sunday, May 25, 2003 8:22 AM CDT

THE PICTURE ABOVE IS A COMPLILATION A FRIEND DID FOR GABE.
YOU CAN VISIT HER DAUGHTERS WEBSITE AT
http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/rachaelmayo

SORRY IT HAS BEEN A FEW DAYS SINCE i HAVE UPDATED.
lIFE GETS BUSY SOMETIME..........i TALKED TO ALISON LAST NIGHT.SHE CALLED ME ON HER CELL PHONE.SHE HAD JUST BEEN TO MARSHALL FIELDS AND WAS LOOKING AT CLOTHES.SHE WANDERED
OVER TO THE BOYS DEPARTMENT AND STARTED SEEING ALL THE CLOTHES THAT GABE WOULD HAVE LIKED WERE ALL ON SALE,THINKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE CAN NO LONGER BUY CLOTHES FOR GABE SHE STARTED TO CRY.THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN
AN ELTON JOHN SONG CAME ON."SOMEDAY" IT IS A SONG THAT HAS BROUGHT US PEACE WHILE GABE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL,ALI KNEW GABE WAS THERE WITH HER TRYING TO COMFORT HER WITH THE SONG.

ENJOY TODAY,

AUNTIE VICKI
REMEMBER ABOUT THE WALK SEPTEMBER 20TH (PLEASE HELP US)
WWW.LIGHTTHENIGHTWALK.ORG

Thursday, May 22, 2003 1:01 PM CDT

I know September 20th seems a long time away but we need to start getting an idea of how many walkers we are going to have so PLEASE let me know. Come on don't be shy :)
Make a difference

There are way to many children dieing of cancer.Way to many.
Those of you that read my site I am asking you, to help us find a cure.

Please find it in your heart to walk with me in Gabe's honor
on September 20th.
One night that can make the world of difference in a sweet childs life.
Please e-mail me to tell me you will help.
I cannot stand to hear,read or see more children die.

please e-mail me at vlj322@mn.rr.com

reach out and help.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003 11:35 PM CDT

There are way to many children dieing of cancer.Way to many.
Those of you that read my site I am asking you, to help us find a cure.

Please find it in your heart to walk with me in Gabe's honor
on September 20th.
One night that can make the world of difference in a sweet childs life.
Please e-mail me to tell me you will help.
I cannot stand to hear,read or see more children die.

please e-mail me at vlj322@mn.rr.com

reach out and help.

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, May 20, 2003 11:35 PM CDT

So,There are way to many children dieing of cancer.Way to many.
Those of you that read my site I am asking you,begging you to help us find a cure.

Please find it in your heart to walk with me in Gae's honor
on September 20th.
One night that can make the world of difference in a sweet childs life.
Please e-mail me to tell me you will help.
I cannot stand to hear,read or see more children die.

please e-mail me at vlj322@mn.rr.com

reach out and help.

Auntie Vicki

Friday, May 16, 2003 3:26 PM CDT

Insightful words from a friend..............

I read your post today on the website. Here is a perspective that may help,
Vicki. I know it helped me. Imagine that each person is occupied by a soul,
which is reincarnated in each cycle of life to finish something left
unfinished in the past life's journey. Perhaps Gabe finished his work at
age 14 - he needed to be conceived, feel the warmth and love of his mother,
sister, family, to learn and to teach, to grow from a child to a wonderful
young man. In that process he accomplished his mission at age 14 - he
resolved all of the conflicts in his past journeys and is now at rest as an
angel in heaven. His soul is soaring and he will be there when our time
comes. Even as we grieve for Gabe and miss him terribly, he is where he is
supposed to be and it is joyous for him. Perhaps all my little peanut needed
to do was to feel the warmth of my womb, to hear my heartbeat, to know that
she was loved and wanted, and then her mission was completed. Thinking that
gives me peace. I hope you find peace

Friday, May 16, 2003 9:12 AM CDT

Have a super day.
The sun is shining birds are singing and I am off work.

Enjoy,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, May 14, 2003 9:43 PM CDT

So Tuesday night on my way home from work I asked Gabe how he was doing and to let me know he was around.I was listening to the radio and this song came on I had never heard before but it was about life and death and doctors,then after that song came IN the arms of an Angel by Sarah McLachlan
Thanks Gabe.

I miss aweet Gabe so much.No one can ever understand what it is like to lose a sweet loved one unless you do.
I think about him at work at home and in my dreams.

Why did he have to leave,what was the purpose?
Who knows the answer,do you have any answers? I would love to hear them,please share.He was too wonderful to die so young,make some sense for me.............please.

Wednesday, May 14, 2003 7:35 AM CDT

So last night on my way home from work I asked Gabe how he was doing and to let me know he was around.I was listening to the radio and this song came on I had never heard before but it was about life and death and doctors,then after that song came IN the arms of an Angel by Sarah McLachlan
Thanks Gabe.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, May 12, 2003 7:52 AM CDT

Goodmorning,

I hope you all had a great Mothers Day.Of course the sun is shining today:}

Well I work the next 4 days and then a big garage sale at my friends house on Saturaday.

Will post when I can.I spent time with Ali and Mikala yesterday,There new apartment is beautiful.

We missed Gabe but he let us know he was around in his own way.

God BLess,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, May 10, 2003 8:42 PM CDT

Well if you check this Saturday Happy Mothers Day early.

If you are looking at this Sunday morning.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.
Us

We love, we hurt, and we give every ounce of our being.
We are right, we are wrong, forgiving and not
We are strong, we are unbelievable.
We are sad, we are happy, we are complicated.
We are selfless, we are selfish.
We are silly, creative, warm and comforting.
We are wonderous,
We love with every part of our being.
We ache, we wonder why.
We teach, we listen, we talk
We let them go but we never forget
We are Mothers.

Thank you my friends

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, May 8, 2003 7:31 AM CDT

Goodmorning,

I met a women on Sunday.Her Mother had just passed away from a long battle with breast cancer.
The women was in from the east coast and did'nt have anything to wear for the furneral. She found a beautiful colbalt blue dress and and black one with soft shear ruffles on it.She did'nt know if either were appropirate. I told here about when I was trying to find an outfit to wear for Gabes memorial service.It had to be just right for Gabe I remember thinking Gabe would like this outfit he would tell me I looked nice.
So I asked her if she thought her Mom would like the dresses.She said her Mom loved color,I said then get it.This day is for you to celebrate your Mothers life.

I often ask myself what would Gabe want me to do.
When he first died and I was so sad I could not stand it.I often would ask myself would Gabe want me to be crying and feeling desparte.It helped me calm get myself to calm down and think about Gabe in a healing and comforting way.

A great thnig happened today.There is a well known and respected site all about leukemia it is ( cut and paste this site)

http://www.acor.org/leukemia/aml-stories.html#aml_mem

I had asked them if the would put Gabes site on their in memory dedication and I just found out they did.
Now Gabe's Journey can be seen by so many more and many more people will see what a terrific young man he is.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Enya - One By One lyrics
Here am I
yet another goodbye!
He says Adios, says Adios,
and do you know why
she won't break down and cry?
- she says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye.
One by one my leaves fall.
One by one my tales are told.

It's no lie
she is yearning to fly.
She says Adios, says Adios,
and now you know why
he's a reason to sigh
- she says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye.
- she says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye.

One by one my leaves fall.
One by one my tales are told.
My, oh my!
she was aiming too high.
He says Adios, says Adios,
and now you know why
there's no moon in her sky
- he says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye.
No Goodbyes
for love brightens their eyes.
Don't say Adios, say Adios,
and do you know why
there's a love that won't die?
- don't say Adios, say Adios, Goodbye.

- don't say Adios, say Adios, Goodbye.
- don't say Adios, say Adios, Goodbye
A Enya song that makes me think of Gabe ,Rachael,Sam,Nathan,and all of the other wonderful childern we have lost........................

Tuesday, May 6, 2003 11:17 AM CDT

Goodmorning,

So I posted a good quote on the home page.
I also posted a new picture that is nice,from christmas.

I hope all is well.

Post when you can.

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, May 4, 2003 9:41 PM CDT

So yesterday was the nine month aniversary.A new life can start in nine months.So many lives taken away so many we are unaware of.So many of us feeling pain and sadness everyday.

We went down to my Dad's today. Papa and Regine had the yearly Easter Egg hunt.We did'nt have it last year,we kept postponing it thinking Gabe would get better and we would have it then.
He never did get better,from our stand point but he was there today.
Whenever the wind is strong,I know he is here.
And it was strong down in Northfield,it blew down a few trees.

I love you Gabe and I miss you despartely,we all do
yet we don't talk about it much,I think it hurts some to much to talk about it.I love talking about you I talk about you every chance I get.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, May 1, 2003 10:01 PM CDT

Greetings,
Not much new to post except that I still can't believe how time goes so fast.
A year already since I started this journel never for a minute believing that it would turn out like this .
With my nephew gone and finding out about all the other children who die from what is suppose to save them.
There has to be a better way.

God Bless.

Auntie Vicki
www.caringbridge.org/mn/rachaelmayo
www.caringbridge.org/tx/nathan
www.caringbridge.org/ia/sam

Tuesday, April 29, 2003 12:03 AM CDT

It is with a heavy heart I write this entry.
Two other families have lost children.
Dear Jake whom passed on April 21st after spending oh so much time in the hospital. Sam who left just this morning. Please visit his web page atwww.caringbridge.org/ia/sam

My only happiness is that there are some great kids that Gabe can hang out with.

I am so sad.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, April 28, 2003 9:20 AM CDT

Goodmorning,

Yesterday was the first anniversary of this web page.
I can't believe how fast time goes.

I have started working on the rock garden in honor of
Gabe.I bought to beautiful metal craines,that will stand in the garden.

Enjoy the beautiful weather and for those of you that are not from Minnesota I hope it is wonderful where you are.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, April 26, 2003 9:45 PM CDT

Rodney.

A 15 year old boy I met tonite.He came to our house.His sister is Jasmine a wonderful little girl that lives in the new property that Ali is managing.
Ali told me that he reminded her of Gabe but tonite when I saw him through the windshield of her car it took my breath away.
It looked like Gabe in the car.He got out and I saw what she meant in an instant.His walk his mannerisiams his smile,his interest...classical music,jazz,magus book store.
He is from Michagin,he leaves tommorrow but will be back this summer.

I hugged him and I did'nt want to let go.
It was wonderful to see that there are other wonderful young men in this world.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki
Tomorrow it will be the one year anniversary of "Gabes Journey"

Friday, April 25, 2003 10:32 PM CDT

all knowing all wise all wonderful.

I love you Gabe.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, April 22, 2003 11:14 PM CDT

So,

One of Gabe's friends,Catlin,is doing a school
project on Gabe.She asked if I had some opictures she could use and if I had time to bring them to the North Campus of Minnehaha.I said of course.I drove to the school
with Mac in tow and realized that it is a really big school
and I did'nt know how I was going to get the photos to Catlin.I asked a couple young men where the office was and they kind of told me and then a girl gave me more directions.Mac and I kept walking and there to my most sincere happiness was Hadija,one of Gabes dearest friends.
I asked her if she could help me find Catlin and she did.
We had a nice chat about Gabe's cute pictures and We went on our marry way.
I liked to think Gabe made sure Hadija and Catlin were right where I needed them.
Thanks Gabey.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki
PS what do you think of the picture of Gabe?

Monday, April 21, 2003 9:14 PM CDT

Here he is.Our beautiful Gabriel.
Enjoying Japenese Food at his favorite resturaunt(January2002)

I love you sweetie pie.

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, April 20, 2003 9:21 AM CDT

HAPPY EASTER ALL OF YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE>

GOD BLESS<

AUNTIE VICKI

Thursday, April 17, 2003 11:49 AM CDT

Goodmorning,

The tree they planted in Gabe's honor at his school
is in bloom.

I just got pictures developed from when I took a picture of Mikala by the tree.
I will post it tomorrow.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki
P.S.
Mikala's Birthday is Saturday so if you want to wish well feel free to post on the site.

Sunday, April 13, 2003 9:09 PM CDT

I wonder what Gabe is doing right now.I had to work.It is very strange to work in retail,especially around the full moon.
I need to relax I get very protective of the store and my want for it to look beautiful.

I wish Gabe were here now.I wish he was back after he had died.I would talk to him and ask him so many different questions.
Like what is really important? What do you see differently now that you left us and are back.
I don't think we realize how much we miss a person until they are gone.

I miss Gabe and want to spend more time with my family and friends.It is

so easy to go on and on and on with your day without including my loved ones.What is the point if you are not with those that you love and make you happy.
So what if you have to spend more money on food invite away let them know you love them...................

EASTER IS COMING INVITE THEM
GOD BLESS<

AUNTIE VICKI

"Wild Child"

Ever close your eyes
ever stop and listen
ever feel alive
and you've nothing missing
you don't need a reason
let the day go on and on

Let the rain fall down
everywhere around you
give into it now
let the day surround you
you don't need a reason
let the rain go on and on

What a day
what a day to take to
what a way
what a way
to make it through
what a day
what a day to take to
a wild child

Only take the time
from the helter skelter
every day you find
everything's in kilter
you don't need a reason
let the day go on and on

Every summer sun
every winter evening
every spring to come
every autumn leaving
you don't need a reason
let it all go on and on

What a day
what a day to take to
what a way
what a way
to make it through
what a day
what a day to take to
a wild child
What a day
what a day to take to
What a way
what a way
to make it through
What a day
what a day to take to
a wild child
What a day
what a day to take to
what a way
what a way
to make it through
what a day
what a day to take to
Da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
what a way
what a way
to make it through
Da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
What a way
what a way
to make it through
what a day
what a day to take to
a wild child
what a day
what a day to take to
ENYa

Thursday, April 10, 2003 7:20 PM CDT

NEW PICTURE OF GABE click on camera

So I am thinking of Spring thinking of Gabe,Mikala,Logan and Mac playing outside.
I go outside to throw some garbage out and I am wishing Gabe was here.I look across the alley and what do I see.
The bunny,the bunny came to our house when I wanted so badly to have a sign from Gabe that he was around.
Then I call out Gabe's name and guess what the bunny did he turned his head to me,then another bunny appeared and another (some of Gabe's friends from heaven).

I love you.

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, April 8, 2003 10:57 PM CDT

So I was driving home tonite and I put in the c.d. that we had gotten when Gabe was in the hospital,I had'nt listened to it for awhile.
It simply amazes me what music does to your heart your sould and your mind.

:)

God Bless,

Listen to some good music and enjoy your day.

Thank you my friend

Auntie Vicki

Monday, April 7, 2003 9:32 AM CDT

Goodmorning,

I hope you all had a great weekend. Not much to post today but Thank you for your continued support.

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, April 5, 2003 10:18 PM CST

Goodevening,

Lost another sweet soul to this dreadful diease. A Mom this morning,on Gabes birthday a 17 year old boy.
We need to put a stop to this dreadful diease.

It breaks my heart to hear of people loosing their loved ones.But does it mean as I believe that it was their time to go.And if we find a cure will people still die,of course they will.We all must die some time.
So why do we fear it so,for the people we will leave behind?
Those are the ones that suffer the most.Those of us left to answer the questions,did we do all we could,did I love them enough,was I good enough,were they proud of me,Why did'nt I call more often why did'nt I say I am sorry,why did'nt I say I love you.
We are the ones left to figure it all out.Those that leave us know.
Auntie Vicki

Thursday, April 3, 2003 9:53 AM CST

Goodmorning,

Well we had a party for Gabe.It was small,we had cake and ice cream. I got helium balloons and we tied chocolate
kisses on them and let them go up into the sky.
Mac sent his up late when it was dusk he kissed it and let it go.it did mot get stuck in any trees and flew high into the sky we watched it until we could'nt see it anymore.

Thanks to those of you who signed the guestbook wishing
Gabe a Happy birthday.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, April 2, 2003 8:06 AM CST

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABE!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you and and miss you so much.Some days I stil can't believe you are really gone.
Auntie Vicki

Mikala,Logan and Mac are making B-day cards for you and
Chuck.
I found something that I thought i would post.Ali wrote it for the benifit we had for Gabe when we found out that he had AML......................................

Gabriel was born on April 2,1988.He was a strong and healthy baby.Ever since I can remember Gabe always had a lot of common sense.He has been refered to by many as an old soul.
He has an innate sense of what is right and lived by it.
As a young child Gabe was always interested in magic and mystical people,and characters.
Sensitive to others and always kind Gabe has used his youthful wisdom and inttelect to help raise his sister
Mikala,nuture his Mother (me) and others around him.
"He is so poilte and smart",people have said.
When he first delalt with bone cancer in 1998 thats exactly what he did.Ten years old ,nenver complaind
always was simply himself.
While undergoing treatment for the bone cancer I often marveled at the fact that he would go to school fucntions,with a sense of who he was and pursued wanted he wanted during that time.Even though he was not feelong thebest and had lost his hair.

It is tough sometimes to have a son so bright and unique,one tends to question themselves when you feel
like complaing about some trivial matter.You are reminded ,
I am remined of his charcter.
Again now he faces another trying time in his young life,harder then the first,his form of AML is very rare.
I asked him recently doesn't he worry about getting sick?
"Why"? he said "it is something I have to do,so why dwell on it".
"besides I have more important matters at hand to think about like what I will do in six months from now".
and off he goes writing stories,researching his favorite topics on the internet and makin me laugh.
He is a quite kid.
He said to me before I wish I could be acknowledged for dsoin something special,like Martiasl Arts.Well the truth of it all is Gabe, you have done something special,you have dealt and looked at life in a very special and amdirable way,which few of us can ever say we have.

I love you my son,with all mey heart

Your Mom

Tuesday, April 1, 2003 10:37 AM CST

Hi,

NEW PHOTOS OF GABE B_DAYS

I hope you have a great day. We will be letting some balloons fly up with kisses on them to Gabe tomorrow for his birthday.

More tomorrow.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, March 31, 2003 8:34 PM CST

Hi,

NEW PHOTOS OF GABE B_DAYS

I hope you have a great day. We will be letting some balloons fly up with kisses on them to Gabe tomorrow for his birthday.

More tomorrow.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, March 30, 2003 8:48 AM CST

Gabe's Mother Alsion wanted me to post these lyrics on the website,
Gabe's 15 th birthday is on Wednesday April 2nd.

Fly

By Celine Dion
Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again
Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forever more
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet
Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget
Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light

Thursday, March 27, 2003 9:52 PM CST

Goodevening,

I am listening to Enya one of Gabes favorite artist. I have'nt miissed some much lately until the end of the month then I miss him dreadfully.Right now I am thinking about all the different music we listened to when he was sick in the hospital.

Frank Sinatra,Sarah Vaughn,Enya,Edda James.
I wanted so much for him to hear it,I never knew if he did.
I remember whispering in his ear and singing to him.

The rain was pounding on the windows Gabe was lying in his bed,his beautiful face and sweet hands looking so fragile placed atop a stuffed animal his Mother had bought or clutching in a fist. I miss him so...............................................
I guess I nned to do this every once and a while
On my way home I remember only beauty,On my way home I remember only best Days,On my way home I remember ever new day.........ENYA

For some reason I want to call and talk to Matt Gabes old nurse tonite.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, March 27, 2003 1:41 PM CST

Goodafternoon,

Well I am excited to say that I am underway recruiting for the Light the Night Walk to be held at Lake Phalen on September 20th 2003.

Please feel free to contact me to get information on helping raise awareness and funds to find a cure for what took Gabe away from us.

I must do what I can to stop this terrible diease from causing other families and friends to lose loved ones.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, March 25, 2003 12:27 AM CST

Goodmorning,

Well I went to my first Light the Night Walk meeting last night.

Lots of great information and exciting things. I will be letting you know more about it after I talk to Sarah who is one the people in charge.

I will also be updating the page with a picture of Gabe when caring bridge gets the program up and running.

Here is a nice e-mail I got from a women who came across Gabes website.
***********************************************************
I first wanted to thank you so much for adding a star on Heavenly Lights
Childrens Memorial for your sister's precious son. I am honored!
I first would first like to express my deepest sympathy on your loss. My
heart goes out to your family. Although I have not lost a child, I have
seen the grief amongst the families on my site, and know that it is more
than I
could ever even begin imagine. I am so sorry for your loss. My hopes with
this website, is that it will touch the hearts of those people who do not
have
childhood disease present in their lives. I hope it raises many tears,
and gets others to help the fight for cures or better cures for so many
diseases. This page began in August 2000, and now has over 450 stars,
which is so sad. Better cures must be found.

Your star has now been added, and is on page 9. If you click on his star,
you will go to your website. Thanks again so much for sharing your families
story and your precious Gabriel with me and everyone who comes out to
the memorial. I know that his story will touch the hearts of many, as it
did
mine.

Here is the page you will find his star on...
http://heavenlylights.homestead.com/Page9.html

Have a great day.

I hope Peace comes soon

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, March 21, 2003 8:12 AM CST

Goodmorning,

I am posting today quickly because I need to get ready for work.

Last night at work I felt sad because it seems Gabe is not on my mind as much as he used to be. I felt sad and guilty.

I think that if I don't keep him in my mind a lot that somehow I am forgetting about him.

Is that normal am I just going through another phase in this awful greiving process?

Comments would be apprecaited let me know if you have felt this way, please

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Peace to us all

Thursday, March 20, 2003 7:55 AM CST

Goodmorning,

Sorry I have'nt posted for awhile. I have had some type of bug.
I hope you all are doing well.I will go to the Light the Night Walk meeting Monday and let you know how you can participate if you would like.

I was going through some of Ali's things at her old apartment and found the article about the benifit
we had for Gabe.
I am still in disbelief that he is really gone,it still seems so unreal.

God Bless and Peace to us all

Auntie Vicki

Monday, March 17, 2003 9:20 AM CST

Goodmorning,

Hopefully today I will hear from patient services,from the Leukemia Lymphoma society.I have talking to them about supporting ( non-finacially) Gabes Wings. I will let you know.

PLEASE PRAY FOR PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, March 14, 2003 7:02 AM CST

Goodmorning,

Well I told you Ali moved.There place is very nice smaller
then there old apartment but more homey.
She did'nt have room for lots of extras so we have some of Gabes stuff here. Nice to have it but very hard. My husband
brought it over and it made him really sad.I don't like it the fact that we have to move on. I wish he were still here.

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, March 12, 2003 10:57 PM CST

I love you all and you are great!!!!!!!!!

God Bless ,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, March 10, 2003 4:28 PM CST

Goodmorning,
The bunny is back. He was by my car yesterday morning and this morning.
When Gabe was really sick we did a magic spell to help him get better and we were supposed to bury it.
We burried it outside in a corner by our fence and the bunny was just sitting there for about 10 mins.
Happy day.

Greetings,

Well Alison and Family have moved to a new place. It is nice and homey.
Gabes presence resounds and it is very comforting.
Life just keeps moving,it does not stop for anything and I guess to enjoy it we must keep moving.

I thank you for your visits and if any one would like to let me know your still checking in I would love it..

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, March 7, 2003 4:33 PM CST

Grief is such a powerful part of life. It can pull you down into the dirty depths of utter despair but then just in time throw you a line or a picture to pull you up.

So did a little bunny rabbit. When we were going to the Memorial Service we got lost and Ali saw a brown bunny rabbit hopping around by the shelter. The next night I was asking Gabe for a sign that he was still near.

My husband called the boys to the kitchen to look at the brown bunny. We saw one Monday night.Chuck and the boys say it Tuesday night at our house and I saw it Wednesday
at our house.

The Bunny was my line................

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki:)

Wednesday, March 5, 2003 9:01 PM CST

I am feeling lately,that I am losing my touch with Gabe.
I feel he is not around and it makes me feel terrible sad.
I feel lost and I feel like I am searching for a sign from him. Something to tell me he is still here.

I have been having vivid flashbacks of the time while he was in the hospital while he was so sick. Also at the cremation and at the funeral home. These visions are very hard to deal with and so intense.
Am I going through another part of the greiving process?

I don't like it and I am scared.

Sorry to be so heavy but this is where I come to let it out.

God Bless,

I hope I feel better in the morning

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, March 4, 2003 1:11 PM CST

Greetings,

So we went to the Memorial Service. It was for all people
that had lost loved ones at the main hospital and childrens hospital.
It was very intense. We all lite a candle and got to say
a few words about our loved one.
The most touching part was when they shut the lights out and the view of the city lights was before us with the candles glowing and beautful music playing.

It made my energy stronger to keep going on Gabes Wings.
It is seeming to be a very complicated process.
Any suggestions as to who may be able to give me guidence
on how to get the non-profit started ( lawyers ect,...)
would be so appreciated.

Take care
god bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, March 3, 2003 11:17 PM CST

So sorry it has been a few days. There seems to be a lag time in having an idea and getting it started.( Gabes WIngs )

We went to a Memorial Service tonite I will tell you more about it in the morning.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, February 27, 2003 2:01 PM CST

Greetings,

Well I started writing Gabes story for the website.It brought many tears and some smiles of good memories. It is amazing what pictures our mind keeps for us.Things that happenend with Gabe last year at this time seem like they happened yesterday.

He never once complained he took it all in stride.

It was as if he slid away into a place of comfort.He did not speak except for a few words,he would sometimes try to smile and sometimes tears would run down his sweet soft cheeks.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, February 24, 2003 7:32 PM CST

Greetings,

Well I finally got the decal finished.
I posted on the photos page.

Ali is bringing it in to find out the cost of having them made.
I must finish the new website so we can post the address on the decal.
I also will be calling Airlife Link to find out if they are interested in the donations.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

We are so lucky to have all of you.

P>S> Let me know what you think of the decal

Saturday, February 22, 2003 7:46 AM CST

Goodmorning,

I have been working hard on the new website and the window decal.

My goal, is to take the huge loss of our sweet Gabe
to help other families.

I want to help ease the pain and help to find alternatives to
get rid of this awful Leukemia by fund raising

I will post the decal in the photo section in the next couple of days.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, February 19, 2003 7:48 AM CST

Goddmorning,

Quick note before I head off to work. I started designing a window decal for Gabes Wings,and I am talking to people about the Foundation :)

Happy Happy.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, February 16, 2003 10:45 AM CST

Goodmorning,

I just looked at the pictures of Gabe on his site. It brings so many feelings up. He is so handsome so full of life.
I read a story of a boy who underwent a transplant,there are pictures of him probebly video. At first I wished we had kept some type of video or pictures of Gabe during this time But then I realized that I would much rather have memories and beautiful pictures of him before he was sick.

I want people to know that the reason we did not keep a visual account of Gabe being in the hospital was not because we did'nt think it was important,it was because
we believed that he would survive. That this was part of his life that would pass,he would come out of this like he did the bone cancer. We had hope. This world has become so visual,words and memories can tell stories too.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, February 13, 2003 12:42 AM CST

Dear All,

Well tomorrow is Valentines Day. A day to let all you Love know you love them.

I want to let all of you,my friends,know that I truly appreciate and Love all the support you have given over the past 10 months. Gabe was diagnoised with the Leukemia
at this time last year.

I still remember the day perfectly. Ali,Gabe and I had traveled down to Rochester. We checked into the hospital,
pretending it was a hotel.The nurses and doctors thought we were strange because we were laughing and acting silly instead of being somber.
We went out to dinner ,Ali and I had some wine and Gabe was giving us a hard time we laughed and had such a wonderful time. We went to Funco and target Gabe was looking for a certain video game,which we found later on e-bay.
We went back to the hospital,all sleeping in Gabes room.
laughing and watching movies until late into the night.

The next day we went out for breakfast came back and the Doctor came in. He sat down next to Ali, Gabe was on the bed I was next to Ali. He told us Gabe had Leukemia.
I remember the Doctors face so clearly.He looked so sad and concerned he shook his head and said how sorry he was.
Ali asked Gabe and I to set out so she could call Ami
( Gabes Grandma )
Gabe and I went to sit by the beautiful fountain in the lobby. He said he knew he was sick before the doctor
had told us. He was so calm,never cryed seemed at peace.

What a boy.

God Bless,

HAPPY VALETINES DAY>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Friday, February 7, 2003 8:17 AM CST

Goodmorning,

Well I have talked The Leukemia Lymphoma
Society and I will be joining the commitee for The Light the Night Walk to benifit the society. I am very excited!
The walk is in September and our first meeting is in March.

I also have an appointment to talk on Tuesday with AirLifeLink.

Gabe visited his Mom in a dream on his six month and Mikala is know sleeping peacefully in Gabes bedroom.
She says she likes it because Gabe is their.

The days before and after the Aniversary were very tough.
But now it is much better. Gabe is an incredible boy.

He is helping me be able to realize my purpose in my life and I love it.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tueday, February 4, 2003 10:17 AM CST

Some of you might have already read this but I thought it was a wonderful story of how Gabe will continue to touch our lives even though it has been 6 months since he left us.

This is from Lisa - I live down the street from Auntie Vicki and ran the Twin Cities Marathon last fall with a picture of Gabe on my back. Some of you may remember that from earlier entries. I wanted to share a neat experience that happened to me today that shows how Gabe continues to touch people's lives. This morning I ran the St. Paul Winter Carnival 1/2 Marathon, a race I really wasn't looking forward to. A few miles into the run I kept seeing a woman who was running about my pace and she finally asked if she knew me. I didn't recognize her. After a few questions, it came to her when she finally asked me if I had run the Twin Cities Marathon. I said yes. She asked, "Did you wear a picture of a beautiful boy on your back?" I said yes. She said that she ran behind me for a while that day and Gabe made such a strong impression on her and touched her. She said his smile accompanied her through a tough part of the race. Not knowing why I wore the picture (I guess she must be near-sighted!), she asked me how he was - I told her that he had passed away at age 14 last summer. She said he must be an angel looking out over us. Then she asked how Gabe's mom was doing. I said she is amazing. Ali and Vicki, rest assured that Gabe continues to touch people's lives. He helped Kelly through her race and she REMEMBERS him! And because of Gabe I made a new friend. I'll be looking for Kelly at other races. We will both continue to remember Gabe.
Lisa from down the street

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, February 1, 2003 7:07 PM CST

We are close to the 6 month rememberance of Gabes death( August 3rd) My heart is aching for him.Oh how much I wish he hadn't gotten sick.I wanted to have that big party for you in our backyard with "Dancing In The Moonlight" playing loudly in the background. All your favorite foods,beautiful japanese lanterns hanging above are heads while we celebrated your life.

I love you Gabey

Greetings,

I hope all is well. I have some exciting news to tell you.

I will be meeting this week with someone in development at Airlifelink to see about getting together about fund raisng.
Also, I am getting sent information about the Leukemia Lymphoma Societys Light The Night Walk in September.
Any of you interested in rasing money for a great cause
(Finding cures for the Leukemia that took our Gabe away)
let me know.

We also are looking at the oppourtunity to maybe do a story on a local news station. I think it would be fabulous.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, February 1, 2003 7:37 AM CST

Greetings,

I hope all is well. I have some exciting news to tell you.

I will be meeting this week with someone in development at Airlifelink to see about getting together about fund raisng.
Also, I am getting sent information about the Leukemia Lymphoma Societys Light The Night Walk in September.
Any of you interested in rasing money for a great cause
(Finding cures for the Leukemia that took our Gabe away)
let me know.

We also are looking at the oppourtunity to maybe do a story on a local news station. I think it would be fabulous.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, January 27, 2003 at 08:55 AM (CST)

Greetings,

So sorry it has taken so long for an update. Life gets really busy sometime!

Anyway I wanted to let you know that I will be speaking to
someone from the Leaukemia Lymphoma Society today in regards to being on the commitee for their Light The Night Walk.
Also, I will be meeting with an organization thursday about getting Gabes Wings going. Doing funding raising
for them.

I will keep you updated.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, January 25, 2003 at 07:38 AM (CST)

Greetings,

Sorry I have'nt updated,lots going on. Good things, I will update when I get home from work tonite.

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

stay warm and thanks for being here.

DONT YOU LOVE THE NEW PICTURES< I DO :)

Monday, January 20, 2003 at 10:10 PM (CST)

Enough Said...................
Beautiful New Pictures Of Gabe And Mikala.(click on photos or camera)

Most Likely some of the last photos before Gabe went into
the hospital.

He certainly was a handsome young Man.

I miss those beautiful white teeth.

Let me know what you think no one has signed the guest book
lately

Love,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 08:36 PM (CST)

Greetings,

New Photos

I am excited to tell you that I think I have found away to have Gabes Wings without having to develop a foundation or non-profit.
My goal is to do one of those things,but with working, raising my 2 boys and ect... I find it hard for me to even
have a shower on a regular basis( just kidding).
So I have found a non-profit that strives to do what I wanted to do, help family members that live out of state visit there children sick at the U of Mn hospital or Childrens hospital in Minneapolis ( Gabe was at both)

I will be contacting this non-profit this week,if any of you are interested in fund raising let me know.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

http://www.airlifeline.org/a1/servlet/visit

Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 09:18 PM (CST)

Greetings,

So Mikala gave my husband a dvd for my 4 year old to borrow.
It was Gabes, all day Mac wanted to watch it I told him to wait because I was painting the kitchen. We were finally
ready to watch it and would'nt you know it did'nt work.
I smile and think Gabe had a different plan in mind for us or did'nt think it was apporiate for Mac to watch,it was a Japanese aninme.

I love Gabe so much and want to Thank him for helping me change my life.

If any of you have had life changing moments because of Gabe and you want to post I would love it.

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

Check Alex's website for an update

Monday, January 13, 2003 at 11:49 AM (CST)

Greetings,

My friend Stephanie had a dream about Gabe. He was standing by a large firplace with his arm resting on the mantle.She said to him,"now it will be okay because you will have someone to hang out with". Gabe replied,"I already am okay".

Any other dreams about Gabe you would like to share would be great.

God Bless,

Stay warm

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, January 09, 2003 at 10:50 AM (CST)

Greetings,

Not much new.Caring bridge got the counter back up,it was nice to see how many friends and family are still checking in.

I got a calendar for x-mas "Angels all around us"

Todays message is

An angel is like an arrow of lightcutting through the dark.

Karen Goldman,The Angel Book

The strong wind today reminds me of Gabe. I remember he told his Mom that he always wanted to be able to change the weather.The thursday before he left us here on earth
I left the hospital at about six in the am after being there since late wednesday night, the sun was rising it was so beautiful,then I woke up at about 9am and it was cloudy,got to the hospital and it was pouring rain and incredibly windy by the end of the day the sun was shining.

Gabe did it:)

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, January 05, 2003 at 10:04 PM (CST)

Greetings,

Well another friend has lost his battle with AML.
Ken is a father of three with a lovely wife and although I did'nt know him personaly I read about his life on daily updates on a message board I belong to.

He passed away peacefully as our Gabe did.God has a plan

Here is his website if you want to read about a great courageous man
http://www.machleukemia.homestead.com

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 09:12 PM (CST)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY To Ali and I. 40th:)

Wish Gabe was here

Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 11:56 PM (CST)

Well it is almost midnight and I just finished giving Mac a bath and getting Logan in his PJ's.The both have strep:)
A coworker of mine lost his 18 year old niece in a car accident today,I miss Gabe.If this year has taught me anything it is that.We don't have a lot to do with when we leave this earth. To many friends have lost there parents and friends to early,to many have said why her,why him,its not fair.I repeat I have come to beleive that God gives us gifts,Gabe,14 years of his sweet life was spent in our family,we are so blessed.Jim's family had 18 years of his nieces life to be a part of.
We are the ones that don't know waht to do after our loved ones leave us,we are the ones that cry,ache for there bodies to hold there words and sounds to make us laugh.
I must beleive that there is a plan,Gabe is setting up our home it will be beautiful,will it? I hope so I am frightened.I wish I knew all the answers to life and new life.

I thank you for you continued support,even though I don't know how many of you read any more.

2003 I hope will be a better year,what is time what is life?

Happy New year ..........................

Auntie Vicki

If you want to post your dreams for next year feel free.

Sunday, December 29, 2002 at 08:44 PM (CST)

I don't know what I want to write tonite,so many thoughts racing through my head.The movie Phenomenom is on in the back ground.It is about this regular man who because of a brain tumor has incrediable abilities.A major part of those abilities is helping people realize the power within themselves,it is there if you look deep enough.

Gabe had that power,still does.He helps me see things differently then I did before.

I have a strawberry fanta bottle of his in my car,he was drinking it the last time he was in my car,it is so soothing,and makes me feel so close to him.

God bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 10:28 AM (CST)

Goodmorning,

Well I hope your Christmas was merry and bright with lots of laughing,hugs and smiles. Ours was all that plus some tears.

I posted a new photo on the site.Gabes Godmother took it when we got our tatoos.I think it is a beautiful picture.

Gabe surrounded us with his presense.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 12:02 AM (CST)

MERRY CHRISTMAS..............

New Photo

I am filled with mixed emotions as I write this message.
Mac sleeping on the couch,breathing deeply,Logan running up to bed because he wants Santa to come.A wonderful sweet evening at Ali,Gabe Mikala's and Sarafina's.

Yet my heart aches for my sweet nephew,I miss him so much.Ali gave me a piece of jewelry Gabe made,I did'nt want to put it down,I want to hold it forever.

Yet a wonderful thing happened at Ali's, there was a smiling face illuminating Gabes urn,I took pictures so I will post them,it was nice,but the hurt is definatly here this morning.

I love you all have a joyous and wonderful Christmas.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 06:53 AM (CST)

Goodmorning,

Well it is Christmas Eve I have to work from 8-5:{
We will then be at Ali Gabe and Mikalas for the evening.
Will be very nice,will be very different.

I will write more tomorrow.

Have a wonderful day

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, December 20, 2002 at 10:08 PM (CST)

Greetings,
I am continuing to post my message about signing the guest book.
Any messages about hope,grief,coping will be sincrely appreciated.

All my love,
Auntie Vicki

I ask you today to send your thoughts ,prayers and insights to Gabes Mother, Alison and her sister Mikala.
We all grieve differently and at different times.
Alison,I hope she doesn't mind me saying is having a hard time.

I know some times people check in but do not write,if there was any a time to write it is now.

Please help Alison and Mikala by sharing in the guestbook.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, December 20, 2002 at 10:08 PM (CST)

Wednesday, December 18, 2002 at 09:42 PM (CST)

I ask you today to send your thoughts ,prayers and insights to Gabes Mother, Alison and her sister Mikala.
We all grieve differently and at different times.
Alison,I hope she doesn't mind me saying is having a hard time.

I know some times people check in but do not write,if there was any a time to write it is now.

Please help Alison and Mikala by sharing in the gueatbook.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 08:31 PM (CST)

Hello All,

Well I am so sad because caring bridge has been having problems with the system and have not been able to have the counter on Gabes page,so I have no idea if you all are still checking Gabes page.

If you feel like it please leave a quick message so I know that you are still checking in.

Thank you for your time.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, December 16, 2002 at 11:04 AM (CST)

Goodmorning,

A loving message from my wonderful sister Alison...........

Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumns's rain. When you awake in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there I did not die.

Dearest Gabriel, you are with us as we get nearer to the holidays, my soul aches for you and my tears still sting my eyes as they long to see your beautiful smile. My heart is full and I want so much to hold you. My dear sweet boy the memory of all of you is so precious, so very precious.
Mommy

Sunday, December 15, 2002 at 07:05 AM (CST)

Goodmorning,

I must make this quick ,so to say,because I have to go to work this morning.

Thank all of you again for lighting a candle for Gabe,and all the other childern that have passed over.

Alison will be posting a beautiful poem soon,I think you all will agree that it is very fitting and calming.

I hope all is well.
Please check Alex's page the little girl whos address I have posted above,She had a baby brother.

All for know,alll my love.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, December 12, 2002 at 09:31 PM (CST)

Dear All,

A poem about a sweet boy from a sweet friend.
Well worth posting.
God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

Dark curly hair, gone from your head.
Warm, smooth, brown skin, pale and sickly.
Giggling lips, tired and shut.
Bright wonderful eyes, overflowing with hope.
Your beauty remains through toil and hardship.
The courage and wisdom of an angel on earth.

Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 08:51 PM (CST)

Well it has been many days since I posted. Gabe and Mikala's Aunt was in town with her son. Very quick visit,but nice. Tonite we went to Ali,Gabe and Mikala's house and had a nice dinner and family time.

I went and laid on Gabe's bed and looked out of his window
at his view. It made me sad but happy to know that Gabe had looked out at the exact view I was.

I miss him a lot today.................................

I love you Gabe goodnight sweetie

Posted pictue of candle lighting,Mikala took it:)
Take a Look

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 08:51 PM (CST)

Sunday, December 08, 2002 at 08:52 PM (CST)

Goodevening,

Well it is almost 9,my body is still cold from the time outside but my heart is overflowing with warmth of the wonderful friends and family that came out tonite to honor
Gabes life and the lives of all the children that have left us to soon.
I want to Thank those of you that lit candles at home.

I want to thank the friends and their parents that came to the cermony tonite,what a tribute that parents of Gabes friends came to honor him my heart is truly touched.

There was about 20 of us we lit candles sang first verses
of many Christmas carols and talked about why we were thier
Thank you Ali for raising such a wonderful boy.

Thank you Gabe for.......................................
everything

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 12:23 PM (CST)

Goodday,

Sorry it has been a while since I posted.My oldest son Logan had the flu and then I got it.

Anyway here is the news on the candle lighting..... On Sunday December 8th at 7pm we will participate in the worldwide candle
lighting ceremony for children that have lost there lives.

The ceremony begins in New Zealand and will continue through each time zone for a total
of 24 hours of light all over the world for the children,incredible

Anyone interested in bringing a poem,song or reading to share please do so.
You may also bring a special candle,I
will have votives if you don't have a candle.We will have the a ceremony for
the plaque from 6:45 to 7:00pm

At 7pm we will light the candles share our poems ect..
the candles need to stay lit until 8pm,we will be outside so please dress warm.If you are not able to stay for the full hour we will understand we
will take care of your candle for you.
If you are not able to attend please light your candle from 7pm-8pm at home
Date: Sunday december 8th
Time: 6:45-8:00pm
Where: Minehaha Academy South Campus
4200 west riverparkway (front lawn)

Thank you for your caring and love.

Auntie Vicki
questions 612-823-8310 or vlj322@mn.rr.comcandle lighting........................

Sunday, December 01, 2002 at 08:20 AM (CST)

Goodmorning,

I hope you all had a wonderful Thnaksgiving.Ours was a little chaotic but enjoyable none the less.

I have worked the last few days (retail) ah what a wonderful time of year ......................

I am still checking on the candle lighting ceremony.I have not heard from the school yet so I will call Monday.
If this does not come together this year as I hope I will try again.
But please feel free to light a candle for Gabe and all the sweet children we have lost on this earth.
Also remember to leave a written memorial for Gabe at

http://dying.about.com/library/ucchildmem.htm?once=true&

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 07:24 AM (CST)

Goodmorning,

Thanksgiving,for me a time to Celebrate family.As I awoke last night,several times to change the water in the sink for the "quick thaw" method( nothing really quick about it):) to get the turkey ready for today,I thought a lot about Gabe.
I miss him,his laugh,his smile,his cute feet,soft hands.But so many of those things can still be with me.I hear his sweet voice,in Mikala,see his wonderful smile in the many pictures of him in our house,feel his presence all around me.

I am thankful for the oppourtunity to be Zach,Gabe and Mikala's Aunt.
I am thankful my family is strong,bonded by love and friendship.
That I have a WONDERFUL husband and two beautiful boys.

That I have the ability to make differences in peoples life everyday,whether I know them or not.

I am thankful for friends like you that support me and believe in Gabes presance in your life.

Gabe's passing has changed my life,I appreciate my days,my friends and my moments,I am a better person.I wish he was still here,but he is not,so I make everyday count and feel Gabe loving me and smiling at me .

If you would like to share what you are thankful for in the guestbook that would be great.
HAVE A WONDERFUL THANKS GIVING!

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, November 26, 2002 at 07:53 AM (CST)

Goodmorning All,

I had my Yoga class last night and the most amazing thing happened.Througout the whole class Gabe was with me.It was wonderful,I could see him in my mind smiling,laughing he was doing the class with me,He looked wonderful black tee shirt with a red design on it.I know it might sound funny to some but it was one of the most wonderful experiences I have ever had!!!!!!!

Sunday December 8th at 7pm there will be a worldwide
candle lighting ceremony for children who have lost there
lives.
I am asking you to join us in a celebration for Gabe.

I am hoping it will include the plaque ceremony for the tree they planted in Gabes memory at Minnehaha Academy(Mikala & Gabe's school).

If not We will have it at my house or Alison's place.

Please email me to let me know if you will be able to attend.
If it is at the school we would start at 6:30pm if not at 7pm.

Light an online candle and say a few words in memory of Gabe at
http://dying.about.com/library/ucchildmem.htm?once=true

My e-mail address is vlj322@mn.rr.com

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 08:09 AM (CST)

Hello,
Sunday December 8th at 7pm there will be a worldwide
candle lighting ceremony for children who have lost there
lives.
I am asking you to join us in a celebration for Gabe.

I am hoping it will include the plaque ceremony for the tree they planted in Gabes memory at Minnehaha Academy(Mikala & Gabe's school).

If not We will have it at my house or Alison's place.

Please email me to let me know if you will be able to attend.
If it is at the school we would start at 6:30pm if not at 7pm.

Light an online candle and say a few words in memory of Gabe at
http://dying.about.com/library/ucchildmem.htm?once=true

My e-mail address is vlj322@mn.rr.com

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

The second Sunday of December of each year is set aside to commemorate the
lives of children who have died and help bring comfort to the hearts of
their bereaved families.

The vision of the Candle Lighting Ceremony is to create a wave of candle
light encircling the globe. Each time zone will light the candles at 7 pm.

The Compassionate Friends is a national non-profit, self-help support
organization offering support to families grieving the death of a child of
any age, from any cause. There are no membership fees or dues, and all
bereaved family members are welcome.

Friday, November 22, 2002 at 11:16 AM (CST)

The second Sunday of December of each year is set aside to commemorate the lives of children who have died and help bring comfort to the hearts of their bereaved families.

The vision of the Candle Lighting Ceremony is to create a wave of candle light encircling the globe. Each time zone will light the candles at 7 pm.

Anyone intrested in gathering together
on Sunday at 7pm at our home
please contact me at vlj322@mn.rr.com

My sister Lisa sent this to me today...........

I Wish you Enough
At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her plane's departure and standing near the door, she said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed good-bye and she left.
He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?"
"Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked. "I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral, " he said.
"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?"
He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough "Hello's" to get through the final "Good-bye."
He then began to sob and walked away.
My friends and loved ones, I wish you ENOUGH!!! They say, "It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 08:24 AM (CST)

Thanks to those of you who ate McDonalds yesterday,whenever I get my french vanilla coffee at the drive through I pop my change in the Ronald McDonald donation box,I figure every bit helps.

If you did'nt already take a look at the new picture I posted.The lttle boy next to Gabe is the boy they used for the Eat at McDonalds add.

The resemblance to me me pretty cool.

Have a super day.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 10:08 AM (CST)

Today is eat at McDonalds Day.For every Big Mac,EggMcmuffin,Happy Meal or Mighty Kids Meal McDonalds will donate a dollar to Ronald McDonald House Charities.
Please eat for the Ronald McDonald House:)for kids all over the world

This event is world wide.

Please click on the camera to take a moment to look at the new photo I posted today.

This is what peaked my interest,I think the similarities are profound:)

The pictue is of the ad in sundays paper I pasted Gabes picture so you could see what I saw,Gabe sure gets around:)

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 08:39 AM (CST)

Goodmorning,

I recieved this e-mail from Todd,Alex's Dad.................

Hi Everyone,

Alex's counts almost completely bottomed out today. Her ANC (immune system) is down to 55 (normal range is 1500+) and her platelets are down to 18 (normal range is 180+). We'll be going back into the hospital tomorrow for the second round of chemotherapy and at that time she'll receive a platelet transfusion. As long as there are no complications we'll be able to take her home on Thursday, but the first fever above 101 will put us back in the hospital for at least a few weeks. Hopefully we'll be home for Thanksgiving.

Does anybody want to buy a 9 year old BMW with 180,000 miles? Last month the fuel pump died and cost us $1000. This month the water pump failed and cost us $750. Next month we'll have to replace the brakes, two tires and possibly the shocks. If this keeps up we're going to rebuild the car piece by piece and go broke in the process! When it rains it pours!

Not much else happened this weekend. Without an ANC we can't take Alex out in public, so we spent the weekend at home. Needless to say Alex was bouncing off the walls. Don't know how we're going to get through 4-6 months of isolating her from people.

Thanks again for four years of love, prayers and support. Take care.

-- Todd
________________________
Todd L. Martini
Alex's Coupons
http://www.alexscoupons.com
"Save Money & Help Fight Childhood Cancer"
Gig Harbor, WA 98335
tmartini@glencove.com
ICQ #4655548

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, November 18, 2002 at 06:01 AM (CST)

Goodmorning,
Yes I know I am posting early,I have to be at work at 7 today.

Anyway I am going to post something tonite that I think is really interesting and helpful please comeback after 5pm.

Have a wonderful day and think of Gabes bright smile and sillly wonderful laugh.

God Bless ,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 07:26 AM (CST)

Goodmorning,

I don't have a lot of time this morning because I need to get ready for work.
Things are going good,I really like my grief therapist.
She is helping me to look at things in different ways.
This will help me carry on with my life and carry sweet Gabe with me.
All the sweet silly good things and cry some too.

I have left Alex's home address up if you are interested in sending her well wishes.

Please check in on her webpage to see how she is doing
www.alexupdate.com

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Ms. Alexandra Martini
2504 7th St NW
Gig Harbor, WA 98335

Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 08:48 PM (CST)

Greetings,
Today this is about Alex.The sweet little girl that has been fighting for a long time.

She has relapsed for the sixth time.............

November 13, 2002

Our beautiful daughter Alexandra who is almost 5 years old was diagnosed on November 10, 1998 with AML Leukemia (subtype M1). It's a very rare form of Leukemia for someone her age, I believe the odds are 2 in 1 million. Alex relapsed for the sixth time on November 5, 2002. She is currently in the hospital at:

Ms. Alexandra Martini
2504 7th St NW
Gig Harbor, WA 98335

...and I'll bring it to the hospital. She's going to be in and out of the hospital over the next several weeks and I want to make sure her mail doesn't get lost in the hospital mail system

if you want to send a card to her. Just remember no flowers and no latex balloons.

A few people have asked me for a timeline of Alex's fight against Leukemia. It's pretty scary to look at, but here is the abbreviated version:

Born: 1/10/98
Diagnosed with AML: 11/10/98
1st Remission: 12/98
1st Relapse: 9/30/99
Cord Blood Transplant: 10/20/99
2nd Remission: 10/1999
2nd Relapse: 6/1/00
Mylotarg Treatments: 6/2000
3rd Remission: 7/2000
3rd Relapse: 9/10/01 in CNS and Leukemic Tumor
4th Remission: 10/2001
4th Relapse: 1/23/02 w/ 70% blasts in Bone Marrow
Mylotarg Treatments: 1/27/02 & 2/11/02
5th Remission: 3/1/02
IL-2 Treatments: 4/4/02
5th Relapse: 7/26/02 w/ 20% blasts in the blood
Mylotarg Treatments: 7/2002
6th Remission: 8/29/02
6th Relapse: 11/5/02
relapsed again

Please go to her website to see if you can help

It is the one listed at the begining of Gabes Journey

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

I LOVE YOU GABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THANKS FOR LISTENING:)

wE LOVE TO KNOW WHO IS CHECKING IN JUST SIGN THE GUEST BOOK HI,IT MAKES US HAPPY:)

Monday, November 11, 2002 at 01:58 PM (CST)

Greetings,

I found one of Gabes teeshirts in Logans closet today.It is the one he is wearing in the
picture with Mikala on this page. :)

I had a dream about Gabe last nite it had Doctors in it and Gabe was wearing a green teeshirt and one of his doctors was holding him,he had all his hair and looked beautiful but he could;nt do anything.wierd huh?

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, November 09, 2002 at 07:16 PM (CST)

I went to a greif therpist on thursday.I think it will help but I still don't know how to feel. My grief seems to have grown again lately. Thinking how badly I want Gabe back,knowing that that can't happen but wishing for a magical way for it to happen.

The tree they planted at Gabes school as I said before is cute but I think they need some type of fence around it so it does'nt get hurt.

Ali said a couple days ago she just wanted to kiss his sweet face,it breaks my heart.

She said it is such a waste that he is gone.She used to bounce a lot of stuff off him,problely still does but it not the same.

Thanksgiving will be at my house any tips or thoughts about a Holiday without Gabe will be sincerely appreciated.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki
Please say a special prayer for the little girl who's
website I have posted abouve she is sick again

Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 08:32 PM (CST)

Greetings,

Many things make my mind turn to Gabe...................
Mac my youngest is now into Sailormoon,I remember Gabe would call us and ask us to tape episodes of the show for him,Logan used to love it and now Mac.

I had my feet up today and it brought back memories of Gabe in the hospital,when we would put pillows under his feet,we did'nt know if it would or did but we did it any way.

I remember when Gabes blood pressure was going really low and we had to keep it up for dialysis I rubbed his feet and legs telling him to keep his pressures up and they would go up,I did it for quiet awhile and then stepped
out to talk to the doctors and looked in and the kidney
specialist had taken over because she believed it was helping Gabe.

I remeber picking him up from school and bringing him to our house,I would get on him to do his homework,and then
we would talk and he would ask me what was to eat.
My last memorey of Gabe eating at my house was chicken
spagetti.he really liked it.Our dining table was in front of the windows by the fireplace and he was ditting with his back up against the windows,he loved diet coke:)

I love you so much Gabe,miss you,want you back so badly I can't stand it,remember kissing your cool cheek and singing somewhere over the rainbow into your ear after you left us
whispering in your ear about what a wonderful son and brother you were and how smart and sweet and funny and silly you were.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, November 04, 2002 at 10:21 PM (CST)

Greetings,

I posted today but I realized that it did'nt take???
I am taking a yoga class on Mondays and found for the
second time at the end of the class I get very emotional
( I cry) I was told that that happens sometimes when you are so relaxed your emotions come out of you.
Has anyone else heard of this,I don't want to be doing something strange.

God Bless,

You are wonderful,yes you.You that comes here everyday to see what I wrote,I thank you from the bottom of my heart

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, November 02, 2002 at 07:31 AM (CST)

Goodmorning,

Cool crisp fall day..................

I need to get ready for work but I wanted to again thank all of you who continue to check the site.

I found some more nice pictures of Gabe that I will post tonite or tomorrow morning.
We continue to miss the sweetie pie daily.

He tree at Minnehaha is cute just like Gabe.

Today is the 3 month anniversary of his passing.

We love you Gabey

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, November 02, 2002 at 07:31 AM (CST)

Thursday, October 31, 2002 at 01:40 PM (CST)

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY HALLOWEEN GABES FAVORITE HOLIDAY

Have a great halloween!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alison called me one night and told me she had to read something to me.
She bought this book at B Daltons and picks it up and reads parts of it every once and a while. Here is what she read me..............................

Most Mystical Travelers have experienced many lifetimes on earth and are ready to "graduate" from the learning process of reincarnating here. Volunterring to become a Mystical Traveler is very much like signing up for the post graduate option of studying for their Ph.D.
The extraordinary power of the Mystical Traveler was demonstrated with heartbreaking eloquence by the son of my Kenyan friend Oona.

It was apparent from the moment Jared was born that there was an uncommen wisdom and spirituality about him. He was a happy child but serene,sensitive, and quiet,with brown eyes so full of light and love that you could sense the ancient eternal soul residing behind them.

Tragically Jared was stricken with Leukemia when he was four years old,and shortly after his fifth birthday Oona,faced with the inevitable fact that her only child was slipping away,slid gently into his bed beside him to hold him for what she knew would be the last time on this earth.

Her few short years in Jared's rare presence,and the courage with which he had faced his fatal illness,had given her a faith in God and the afterlife she could have never found without him,and she was thanking God for blessing her with the honor of this treasures little spirit when Jard lifted his head to bring his mouth closer to her ear and whispered,almost inaudibly, "Mama,I'm going to God now.Please hold my hand" The instant she took his tiny hand in hers,she felt his spirit rise from his body and then ,to a profound awe she will never forget,pull her spirit right along with him.
Rather then taking her to the tunnel that was waiting for him,this Mystical Traveler child soared with his mother into the night sky. Soon she was in the midst of what seemed like a million diamonds scattered on an infinate sea of black velvet and when she turned to the now joyful,vibrant face of her son,he beamed back at her and said,I just wanted to show you the stars before I go home."
Then gradually,among the stars,an almost blinding golden-white light appeared,a huge,sparkling vortex of perfect love,and from the depths a handful of beings emerged and started towards them,backlit by the powerful white light so that Oona could'nt see their features.She felt an overwelming sense peace as she realized these graceful,silent,glowing beings were coming to greet her beloved child.She turned to him again,and he met her eyes. "Thank you Mama," he said "for coming with me this far with me." He squeezed her hand,then let go of it and joined the beings to float away from herand disappear into the light of God.

At the same moment Oona felt her spirit slam back int oher body on the bed in that small room,still holding the cool,lifeless hand of her son,and as tears of greif for herself and joy for him welled up in her eyes,she whispered back,"Thank you,Jared," and she knew he heard her.
She has devoted herself since then to enhancing the spiritual lives of everyone around her,and the Mystical Traveler named Jared is watching her from Home,awaiting Gods next assignment somewhere among the stars,and knowing he succeeded in his brief mission to make earth a little more graced,reverent and aware of God's love than he found it.

Those of you who would like to share about this excerpt please feel free
God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 10:27 AM (CST)

Goodmorning,

Today I will finish writing the excerpt from the book titled "Life on the other side" by Sylvia Browne.

Alison called me one night and told me she had to read something to me.
She bought this book at B Daltons and picks it up and reads parts of it every once and a while. Here is what she read me..............................

Most Mystical Travelers have experienced many lifetimes on earth and are ready to "graduate" from the learning process of reincarnating here. Volunterring to become a Mystical Traveler is very much like signing up for the post graduate option of studying for their Ph.D.
The extraordinary power of the Mystical Traveler was demonstrated with heartbreaking eloquence by the son of my Kenyan friend Oona.

It was apparent from the moment Jared was born that there was an uncommen wisdom and spirituality about him. He was a happy child but serene,sensitive, and quiet,with brown eyes so full of light and love that you could sense the ancient eternal soul residing behind them.

Tragically Jared was stricken with Leukemia when he was four years old,and shortly after his fifth birthday Oona,faced with the inevitable fact that her only child was slipping away,slid gently into his bed beside him to hold him for what she knew would be the last time on this earth.

Her few short years in Jared's rare presence,and the courage with which he had faced his fatal illness,had given her a faith in God and the afterlife she could have never found without him,and she was thanking God for blessing her with the honor of this treasures little spirit when Jard lifted his head to bring his mouth closer to her ear and whispered,almost inaudibly, "Mama,I'm going to God now.Please hold my hand" The instant she took his tiny hand in hers,she felt his spirit rise from his body and then ,to a profound awe she will never forget,pull her spirit right along with him.
Rather then taking her to the tunnel that was waiting for him,this Mystical Traveler child soared with his mother into the night sky. Soon she was in the midst of what seemed like a million diamonds scattered on an infinate sea of black velvet and when she turned to the now joyful,vibrant face of her son,he beamed back at her and said,I just wanted to show you the stars before I go home."
Then gradually,among the stars,an almost blinding golden-white light appeared,a huge,sparkling vortex of perfect love,and from the depths a handful of beings emerged and started towards them,backlit by the powerful white light so that Oona could'nt see their features.She felt an overwelming sense peace as she realized these graceful,silent,glowing beings were coming to greet her beloved child.She turned to him again,and he met her eyes. "Thank you Mama," he said "for coming with me this far with me." He squeezed her hand,then let go of it and joined the beings to float away from herand disappear into the light of God.

At the same moment Oona felt her spirit slam back int oher body on the bed in that small room,still holding the cool,lifeless hand of her son,and as tears of greif for herself and joy for him welled up in her eyes,she whispered back,"Thank you,Jared," and she knew he heard her.
She has devoted herself since then to enhancing the spiritual lives of everyone around her,and the Mystical Traveler named Jared is watching her from Home,awaiting Gods next assignment somewhere among the stars,and knowing he succeeded in his brief mission to make earth a little more graced,reverent and aware of God's love than he found it.

Those of you who would like to share about this excerpt please feel free
God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 10:27 AM (CST)

Goodmorning,

Today I will finish writing the excerpt from the book titled "Life on the other side" by Sylvia Browne.

Alison called me one night and told me she had to read something to me.
She bought this book at B Daltons and picks it up and reads parts of it every once and a while. Here is what she read me..............................

Most Mystical Travelers have experienced many lifetimes on earth and are ready to "graduate" from the learning process of reincarnating here. Volunterring to become a Mystical Traveler is very much like signing up for the post graduate option of studying for their Ph.D.
The extraordinary power of the Mystical Traveler was demonstrated with heartbreaking eloquence by the son of my Kenyan friend Oona. It was apparent from the moment Jared was born that there was an uncommen wisdom and spirituality about him. He was a happy child but serene,sensitive, and quiet,with brown eyes so full of light and love that you could sense the ancient eternal soul residing behind them.
Tragically Jared was stricken with Leukemia when he was four years old,and shortly after his fifth birthday Oona,faced with the inevitable fact that her only child was slipping away,slid gently into his bed beside him to hold him for what she knew would be the last time on this earth.Her few short years in Jared's rare presence,and the courage with which he had faced his fatal illness,had given her a faith in God and the afterlife she could have never found without him,and she was thanking God for blessing her with the honor of this treasures little spirit when Jard lifted his head to bring his mouth closer to her ear and whispered,almost inaudibly, "Mama,I'm going to God now.Please hold my hand" The instant she took his tiny hand in hers,she felt his spirit rise from his body and then ,to a profound awe she will never forget,pull her spirit right along with him. Rather then taking her to the tunnel that was waiting for him,this Mystical Traveler child soared with his mother into the night sky. Soon she was in the midst of what seemed like a million diamonds scattered on an infinate sea of black velvet and when she turned to the now joyful,vibrant face of her son,he beamed back at her and said,I just wanted to show you the stars before I go home."
Then gradually,among the stars,an almost blinding golden-white light appeared,a huge,sparkling vortex of perfect love,and from the depths a handful of beings emerged and started towards them,backlit by the powerful white light so that Oona could'nt see their features.She felt an overwelming sense peace as she realized these graceful,silent,glowing beings were coming to greet her beloved child.She turned to him again,and he met her eyes. "Thank you Mama," he said "for coming with me this far with me." He squeezed her hand,then let go of it and joined the beings to float away from herand disappear into the light of God.
At the same moment Oona felt her spirit slam back int oher body on the bed in that small room,still holding the cool,lifeless hand of her son,and as tears of greif for herself and joy for him welled up in her eyes,she whispered back,"Thank you,Jared," and she knew he heard her.
She has devoted herself since then to enhancing the spiritual lives of everyone around her,and the Mystical Traveler named Jared is watching her from Home,awaiting Gods next assignment somewhere among the stars,and knowing he succeeded in his brief mission to make earth a little more graced,reverent and aware of God's love than he found it.

Those of you who would like to share about this excerpt please feel free
God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, October 28, 2002 at 05:49 AM (CST)

Mystical travelers
Mystical travelers can basically be described as Mission Life entities with a broader range.What they have said to God about their soul's juorney is, "Wherever in the univerese you need me I will go" In other words,Mystical Travelers,like Mission Life Entities,devote themselves to maintaining the divine spirtual connection between us and God as a thriving,viable force...............

Thais is an excerpt from a book called life on the other side by Syvia Browne
I have to get ready for work so I will fininsh writing it tonite.

It reminds us of Gabe and you will see why.
Have a great Day

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 07:34 AM (CDT)

Words cannot express my sadness today as we come to another Saturday,the day Gabe continued on to another part of his journey.

I just found out yesterday that a hospital mate of Gabes passed away Oct 3rd. His Mother Ruth has become a friend to me even though they live in Rhode Island. Her words of encouragement have been sincerely appreciated.In this time of saddness I smile because now Gabe has Adam, a wonderful boy to hang out with :)

Our dear Senator Paul Wellstone his wife Sheila their daughter Marcia and,and five others parished in a plane crash friday.

My heart goes out to all involved,my hope is that they will have the support as you all have given us during this sad time..................

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 09:18 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

The new picture is of our friend who ran the 10th mile of the twin cities marathon in honor of Gabe and wore his picture on her back.The picture speaks a millon words:)

NEW PICTURE IT IS TWO PART AND BIG SO YOU MUST SCROLL DOWN>

Wonderful day today. I went to pick up Mikala from school and we got to see the tree they planted in Gabes honor.
It is a crab apple tree and we took a picture of Mikala with it.
We will do this every season and watch Gabe's tree and Mikala grow up together:) Thanks again for the special gift:)

Alison has something wonderful to share I will ask her to post it tomorrow.

We would love to hear of any Gabe visits or rememerences any of you would like to share.

Many of us seem to being going through a hard time right now,maybe it is the full moon.

God BLess
Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, October 23, 2002 at 07:03 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,
I have been very teary this last few days.

Thinking about Gabe in the hospitalAll this needless violence happening in our country. Missing Gabe
extemely a lot !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wondering why he had to go away.

A wonderful thing though. Gentle friends of Gabes planted a tree in his honor at Minnehaha Academy south campus.

I need to go but I will write more tomorrow.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 08:55 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

So sorry I have not updated in so many days.We just got Windows XP and it took a few days for everything to work again.

Alison found some interesting reading material about
" mystical travelers" she will be getting me the material
so I can post it on Gabes site. It is incrediable,it sounded so much like Gabe and his life I could not believe
it,I look forward to posting it soon.

Other then that not much new,I got osme information about
"light the Night" walk

I will post that info tomorrow night.

I must get Logan ready for school.

Please keep updating the guestbook.Have you had any special
dreams or thoughts of our sweet Gabe that you would like to share? please do so

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, October 18, 2002 at 08:34 AM (CDT)

FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVE'NT BEEN HERE FOR AWHILE CHECK THE PHOTOS.

Goodmorning,

Mikala had her Halloween party last night,very fun.
Bobbed for apples,blindfolded the kids and had them stick there hands in spagetti intestines,green olive eye balls,
cantalope seed finger nails. Fun Fun Fun.
Chad Gabes friend came over it is always nice to see him!

Sad news Marline who was the "Keeper of the gate on the bone marrow pediatric unit passed away from lymphoma in september.She worked on the unit for 42 years. Gabes room was right across from where she sat at the station and she always kept a watch over Gabriel:)

All for now.

Keep the guestbook entrys coming in

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, October 15, 2002 at 11:09 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

NEW PHOTOS:)...................CLICK ON PHOTOS OR THE CAMERA

Happy about getting new pictures up.

Called Leukemia foundation and they are sending me some information on where there money goes and what I (we)
can do to raise money for research.

Must get ready for work more later

Remember to sign the guestbook
and to look at the pictures

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, October 14, 2002 at 09:00 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Thanks to Max and Hadija and Catlin for posting,it is nice to here
from Gabes friends.

I am going to talk to the women in charge of the light the night walk today.

when I get so more information I will let you all know.

Sad news,one of our Marshalls managers died very unexpectdly
this weekend,I am so saddened by his death,he was around my age.

I guess as we grow older we start seeing more death,I just did'nt think I would see this much at one time

Happy Columbus Day!!!!!!!!!!!!

God Bless

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, October 12, 2002 at 07:40 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,
Cold rainy day........... 10 weeks today since Gabes
passing. :(

I love you Gabey

Be open to kindness, giving and recieving it is a wonderful feeling.
Thank you Gabe for opening my heart and mind to the daily gifts I find in people.

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

~~~~~~~Remember you may post whatever you feel I would love to hear from you even if I don't know you,why do you continue to come? It warms my heart so much you can't even imagine.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, October 09, 2002 at 10:40 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Sorry it has been a few days since my last post.Busy with work.

I met a women at work yesterday named Rebbecca,she is a massage therapist among other things and she was looking for some products at our store.When she left she said she would be back because there are no chance meetings.

I have been blessed by Gabes passing in many ways but the one I hold dearest is that when I meet new people now I think of them differently.There are truly many wonderful caring people out in this world and you can meet them by smiling at them or saying hi,open yourself up.
I don't know if I had mentioned this but Ali,Lisa and I got tatoos shortly after Gabes passing.
My says "Guide" in Japanese,I got it on my left forearm for all to see.

Customers often ask me about what it means and I have a chance to tell them about my wonderful sweet nephew Gabe
who lived a short time here but continues to touch peoples lives all over the world.

Be open to kindness, giving and recieving it is a wonderful feeling.
Thank you Gabe for opening my heart and mind to the daily gifts I find in people.

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

~~~~~~~Remember you may post whatever you feel I would love to hear from you even if I don't know you,why do you continue to come? It warms my heart so much you can't even imagine.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 09:33 PM (CDT)

HAPPY MONDAY :)

I am writing this Sunday night. I just bought a beautiful trunk to put my Gabe treasures in.It is
in wonderful browns,golds,greens and muted reds,of japanese
landscape perfect.
One of the gifts of working at Marshalls we get in many treasures.

I thought of Gabe often today as most any day. There is a card that reminds me of him Mac asked to look at it today.
It is on flavia.com under hope and inspiration and its title is "some people".Gabe is that some people...........

Have a super Monday

Remember you may post whatever you feel I would love to hear from you even if I don't know you,why do you continue to come? It warms my heart so much you can't even imagine.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, October 05, 2002 at 08:58 PM (CDT)

Nine weeks today.

I love you Gabe

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, October 04, 2002 at 07:21 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

I had a dream of Gabe.He did'nt say anything I can remember but I say him,his sweet face,he had a full head of hair and he was smiling.

Thank you Gabe :)

God bless - enjoy the fall day

Bake some cookies or bread buy a pumpkin.
Smile at a stranger and tell a friend or family member
how much the mean to you.

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 06:34 AM (CDT)

NEW PHOTO >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Goodmorning,

Keeping this e-mail message on here for a few more days Ilike it here because it is a part of Gabe.

Not much new.I did found out about a walk to raise money for the leukemia foundation that I am going to get information on.They already did the one for this year but I will volunteer for next year. If any of you are interested in getting more information on it let me know via the guestbook or e-mail vlj322@mn.rr.com.
I don't want other families to suffer the tragic loss we have let us find a cure so no more families loose thier Gabes........... I think Gabe would be proud :)

Think about it

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

This is a copy of the e-mail message that Gabe sent me on May 16 th

There are many words I could use to describe my feelings toward you all, but I believe there is only word that would do…Thankful.

I am thankful for…

The Time you’ve spent with me.

The Help you’ve given me.

The A

The N

The Kindness

The F

The Unparalleled gift of Love.

I sent him this response

A cceptance
N uturing
F riendship

Monday, September 30, 2002 at 08:19 AM (CDT)

Dear friends and family,

This is a copy of the e-mail message that Gabe sent me on May 16 th

There are many words I could use to describe my feelings toward you all, but I believe there is only word that would do…Thankful.

I am thankful for…

The Time you’ve spent with me.

The Help you’ve given me.

The A

The N

The Kindness

The F

The Unparalleled gift of Love.

I sent him this response

A cceptance
N uturing
F riendship

God bless,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, September 29, 2002 at 10:34 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Well we just got back from watching Lisa and all the other incredible runners.I saw one of Gabes doctors,what a gift.
Lisa looked great huge smile and looking fresh as a daisy.

We are on our way to the Renissance Festival in Gabes honor.

I will let you know about it later.

I will also be posting an e-mail Gabe sent me in May,a thankyou note to people that helped with benifit,it is very speciel to me because it is one of the last e-mails he sent to anyone.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, September 28, 2002 at 07:23 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Off to work this morning

****New picture on photos page it is what our friend Lisa is wearing for Gabe*******

NEW NEWS>>>>>>>>>>>

We have a friend named Lisa that is running the twin cities
marathon Tommorrow ( sunday). She will wearing a picture with a rememberance of Gabe on it.

She has dedicated her 10th mile to Gabe. :) She will be around Chicago st and Minnehaha Parkway around 9:20 -9:40
any of you interested in cheering here on please meet us down on the corner. The elite runnders will get to that area about an hour before she said they are incredible to watch.Ali Mikala and my boys will be there.

Lisa is a sweet friend who was touched by Gabes story on his webpage,she had never met him in person but saw through
my journel and your guestbook writings what a wonderful boy he was.

BEST OF LUCK LISA, AND I HOPE YOU FEEL LIGHT ON YOUR FEET
TOMORROW> I KNOW YOU WILL ENJOY THE MARATHON AND HAVE A BEAUTIFUL RUN.

GOD BLESS,

AUNTIE VICKI

Thursday, September 26, 2002 at 08:23 PM (CDT)

Hot apple pie,cider,and beef stew.A fall dinner Mikala said it was and it was good,just like Gabe would like.

Some of our neighbors left today,they are moving to Colorado,I wish them a safe trip!!!!!

My good friend from across the street is moving next week :(

I don't like all this change,but i guess it happens and it is part of like.We will meet new neigbors and remember the old ones.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Sweet dreams Gabe I love you

Wednesday, September 25, 2002 at 07:32 PM (CDT)

It is okay to be sad.................

My Mom was over today,she said she doesn't have pictures up of Gabe.
My Mom said she feels Gabe here more then many other places.

We all grieve differently.I like my pictures,I talk to my pictures they are Gabe.

I believe that even though I miss Gabe more then I ever thought I could that he is in a better place.

Is he happy?

I called Ali tonite she was sitting in Gabes room,

I let her go.

God bless,

Auntie Vicki

Goodnight sweet gabe,I miss you

CLICK ON PHOTOS AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE FOR NEW PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE SIGN THE GUEST BOOK AND TELL US WHAT YOU LIKED MOST ABOUT GABE **:)

Wednesday, September 25, 2002 at 11:36 AM (CDT)

CLICK ON PHOTOS AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE FOR NEW PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE SIGN THE GUEST BOOK AND TELL US WHAT YOU LIKED MOST ABOUT GABE **:)

I did'nt

I did'nt really pay attention to how I felt everyday until Gabe left us.

I did'nt really take the time to think about my loved ones and my friends on a daily basis until Gabe left us.
I did'nt much listen to the words of new songs until Gabe left us.

I did'nt really think about Gabe everyday,until he got sick and left us.

I did'nt really think I would miss Gabe because I really did'nt ever think he was going to die.

I did'nt really think I could cry so much.

I did'nt really think when I started writng this how much I
have changed since Gabe left us.

Thank you Gabe,I love you sweetie goodnight

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 11:01 PM (CDT)

CLICK ON PHOTOS AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE NEW PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did'nt

I did'nt really pay attention to how I felt everyday until Gabe left us.

I did'nt really take the time to think about my loved ones and my friends on a daily basis until Gabe left us.
I did'nt much listen to the words of new songs until Gabe left us.

I did'nt really think about Gabe everyday,until he got sick and left us.

I did'nt really think I would miss Gabe because I really did'nt ever think he was going to die.

I did'nt really think I could cry so much.

I did'nt really think when I started writng this how much I
have changed since Gabe left us.

Thank you Gabe,I love you sweetie goodnight

Auntie Vicki

PLEASE SIGN THE GUEST BOOK AND TELL US WHAT YOU LIKED MOST ABOUT GABE **:)

Monday, September 23, 2002 at 07:10 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

-Life is kind of strange.Today I went to work and I felt really happy,I was silly and smiling my "old self".

Somebody that I work with every Monday said do you normally work Mondays? I said yes I work every Monday but this one is the first that I have been happy in a long time,so you are noticing me more today.

Anyway it felt really good until I got in the car and statred to think about Gabe and how much I miss him and that I wish I could hear about his school and internet stuff and make him chicken spagetti. :)

Anyway i guess this is life and I need to get used to it.

New scanner should be working tuesday.
I am off wednesday thursday and friday new pictures soon,some great ones.

God BLess,

KEEP READING.

LOVE AUNTIE VICKI

Saturday, September 21, 2002 at 08:38 PM (CDT)

SO NEW NEWS.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was talking to Alison on the phone and I went on Gabes
web page.I went to the photo screen and there is a new photo
on the page.I don't know how it got there but by the looks of Gabe in the picture he had something to do with it.
I am very serious about this.

I am the only one who has access to these pictures and
the password and I did not do it.

Tomorrow Alison will write about something that happened to her and Mikala at home that let her know Gabe was here.

So I guess Gabe wants me to keep the site going.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, September 21, 2002 at 06:34 PM (CDT)

Well, I don't know what to do.There is nothing new to post today.

I am sad because I want to continue the site but I don't
want to not have anything to say.

If you are interested in continuing to hear about the family and see more pictures of Gabe and all please e-mail me or sign the guest book and I will let you know when I get some other things together.
I would love to be able to stay in contact with you all
so just keep checking in or let me know.

This is by no means the end just another part of the journey, I will continue to post here until something new is found.

God Bless all of you and thank you for your continued
love.

Auntie Vicki

Even if I have never met you I would love to hear from you

Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 08:06 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,
Not much new today.

We are looking into permanent memorials and if you have any ideas we would surely apprecaite hearing from you.

Also if any of you know anything about creating an foundation please let me know.

As I would appreciate as much help as possible.

Also i am hoping to get a new scanner so I can put in new photos
They can only be 500kb so it has been a problem getting
them .

Please continue letting people know that the site is still going.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

If you have any questions about anything don't worry about
e-mailing me or posting in the guestbook

Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 10:17 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

I want to tell you about a dream my 3 1/2 yearold son had dream last night.Let me start off by telling you that we talk of Gabe a lot in our house.

I was in the kitchen making breakfast for the boys and I overheard Mac talking to Logan about Gabe. I came in and asked what they were talking about and Mac said I had a dream about Gabe last night.I quote,

"He had a yellow shirt on and his black ninja pants with black knee high socks.
He had 3 friends with him one had pink hair one had blonde
hair and one had brown hair.The one with the brown hair was
Chad but he could'nt keep up with Gabe because he had sandles on.Gabe asked me to come with him but I said no because I had to ask my Mom and Dad"."The one with the pink hair was a poweranger.

Gabe had his black ninja pants on and black cloth boots
when he was cremated.

I need to stop for a little bit but I will continue with information about Mac's dream..........

Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 11:25 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Alison and I met with the doctors yesterday.It seems the
main reason for Gabe's passing was not Graft Versus Host diease as prevously thought but side effects of the radiation he indured to get him ready for the cord blood transplant.Radiation induced vasculopathy of the small and large gut that was complicated by hypotension secondary to massive hemorrage into the gastrointestinal tract from ulcerated surface.

It was a good meeting we talked about Gabes last hours,his service,and how life was going.I told them of my interest in
starting a foundation in Gabes honor.

Alison is wanting permanant memorials for Gabe.
I will make it happen and if any of you have ideas please let me know.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 11:25 AM (CDT)

Monday, September 16, 2002 at 11:41 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Sorry there was no post yesterday,I have'nt felt very well
Sunday and today.

I will post as much information as I can about the information from the Doctors.

also any new news about the fammily.

There is a website I thought you might be interested in checking out.

It is: http://www.alexupdate.com/

It is for a little girl that has been battling leukemia for many years. She lives out in Seattle and her father was very supportive of me when Gabe was so sick.

It is a wonderful site.

More tomorrow.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, September 14, 2002 at 05:59 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

Well it is with mixed emotions that I tell you the Garage Sale is over. We made over 300.00 !!!!!!!
It felt great to do it.
Thanks to my wonderful friend Jenny who donated fabulous
items,I could not have done it without you.
The weather turned out to be beautiful.

Next big thing is the meeting with the Doctors coming up next week.

Thanks to all of you who continue to stop at the site.

Please again feel free to leave a message.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, September 13, 2002 at 03:43 PM (CDT)

I was rereading some of the guest book entries and I came
across this................

GABRIEL

Filled with wisdom beyond your years
Spiritual
Thoughtful
Armchair traveler
Mystical,magical,full of love.
Artist, writer,cook and creator
Student of life and teacher to those who meet you
You accept those around you for who they are and love them completely.
Fraiser makes you break out in peels of laughter, you create episodes in your sleep and smile.
Satin soothes your fingertips and the silken cloak disguises you in your sleep or wakefulness.
Your voice high and silly or soft and low fills my mind always.
You are with me on my walks, a bald eagle watching me closly just flown in from I know where. Or Redwing Blackbird who travels along beside me.
Adventure, fantasy, Anima and elves
Salt water, fresh water, silver and rosemary, herbs and flowers, animals and breezes you are with us always we are so blessed to have you near.

auntie lisa
Burlington, WA USA - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 04:13 PM (CDT

Thank you Auntie Lisa for the beautiful words

Garage Sale 4334 10 th ave south Saterday 9-4
hope to see you there.

Words written are wonderful gifts to help us keep or memories

god bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 02:20 PM (CDT)

Remembering

The day was mixed with rain and sun. Time seemed to slow while we waited for His body to tell us he was ready to go.
All of us around him longing for it not to be true, longing to hear his sweet voice and see his bright smile.
Beautiful music playing along, with his Mother knowing what words fit the moment.
His beautiful sister by his side not quiet knowing why this was all happening but feeling the pain nonetheless.
I wanted to beg him please don’t leave us we all need you please hang on until the Doctors can fix you, but I was at a loss for at the moment I accepted what was happening, I watched the machine and understood what was in front of us not thinking of the permanence of it all.
Surrounded by all that was special except for his kitty, and many of those who cherished him.
His sweet skin, his gentle hands that I had held so many times, his beautiful face, his soft cheeks that I had kissed some many times, his sweet ears that I had whispered in telling him what a wonderful boy his was and about the camping trips we would take and my phone calls telling him goodnight and that I loved him. They were there while we watched him fading away.
It was time they said, and we all watched as his mask was removed
To uncover those beautiful big brown eyes open one more time for all of us to see.
He took a few gentle breaths and then as a candles flame flickers in the wind he was gone.
We all stood there each one of us some how knowing our roles.
We slowly left, each one of us saying goodbye.
Me I wanted to stay forever, for my hope was that he wasn’t really gone
For this was never suppose to happen
It was never going end like this

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, September 11, 2002 at 09:08 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,
I hope you all had a good day. We got news that we will hear
the autopsy results about Gabe next week,will be very hard but it will help us to understand what truly caused Gabes death.

Not much is new the Garage Sale will be friday and Saturday

More tomorrow

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 10:46 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

Where does time go. I can't believe it has been a year since the sorrowful September 11th.
How many people will be greiving tomorrow, words cannot express my sorrow, my sadness for all of those who were'nt
blessed as we were with the ability to be able to say goodbye to our lovely Gabe before he left us to be in a better place.

What a feeling of uncontrolable loss the victims and there
families must have felt.

I ask each of you tomorrow to call or spend time with the ones you love. Let them know how special they are to you.
Because as we know from the loss of Gabe we never know how much time we will have here.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

If any one wants to post their feelings or thoughts please feel free to do so here.

Love

Monday, September 09, 2002 at 06:32 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Thank you for coming back:)

Remember to leave thoughts if you like............

The sun will shine again.
I am going to put in a call to
Doctors to find about any results in Gabes illness.
It is hard to believe it can take this long for them to get all the information.

I will update you.

Don't forget the benifit Garage SALE 4334 10 TH AVE SOUTH
FRIDAY 11-3 SATURDAY 9-4 LOTS OF KIDS CLOTHES AND COOL
THINGS

god bless,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, September 08, 2002 at 08:57 PM (CDT)

Tell me how to make sense of this. I got a call from
Chuck today at around 5pm. It seemed that there was a murder suicide right across the street.So sensless so sad.

A separated couple,he shot her at 10:30 this morning,his brother found the wife at the house called the police the husband came home and shot himself.

Life is so precious to some and so disposable to others.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

God bless and give peace somehow to the family

Sunday, September 08, 2002 at 08:57 PM (CDT)

Sunday, September 08, 2002 at 07:59 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

I worked yesterday,so that is why there was no update.
Mikala got to spend time with her friend Amy down in Nothfield.

Alison got some time to be quiet.

Another Saturday passes...........6

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, September 06, 2002 at 09:53 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

I just got back from Ali and Mikala's girls nite,Godmother Jess and Booboo were there.Nice time.
Still miss Gabe I guess I will miss him forever.But I know he lives in us because I hear his sweet voice come out in things His Mom and Kala say and in the monarch butterfly
that I see in our nieghborhood and around town.
I know I am getting closer to feeling a peace about all this and I kind of forgot that I can ask God for help.

I talked to him so much while Gabe was alive but after he died I stopped,maybe in away I felt God let me down.
But I realized tonite driving home listening to Feels Like Home from the Gabe Mix that I need to let God back in, to help ease my pain and help Gabe to know that I will be ok.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

GARAGE SALE SEPTEMBER 13TH 11-3 AND 14TH 9-4 PROCEEDS
GO TO ALISON AND MIKALA
4334 10 TH AVE SOUTH

Thursday, September 05, 2002 at 11:02 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Mikala made it through the first day of school,actually she really liked it.She is on the second floor,loves her teacher and gets her very own locker.

I am looking into starting a Foundation to raise money for research for Graft Versus Host diease. I have contacted
some resources and hope to get it going by the first of the year.
There is not enough known about this dreadful complication
of cord blood and bone marrow transplants.

Aloso please remember about the Benifit Garage Sale
September 13 11-3 and September 14th 9-4
4334 10th ave south

God Bless,

Thanks for continuing to read It helps keep it going

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 08:13 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

I just came down to make coffee and the phone rang.The sweet voice on the other end was Mikala. " I am on my way to my first day of school".Her voice filled with excitement she told me what she was wearing and I told her I will be there to pick her,she does'nt want to ride the bus because that is what she and Gabe did.
She is such a sweet brave girl,I hope and believe Gabe will be watching over her today.
I callled her back to talk to Alison and Mikala said her tummy hurt and she had a lump in her throat.
Please pray for her today,to ease her pain and sadness and to give her some joy and laughter.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

BENIFIT GARAGE SALE 4334 10TH AVE SOUTH MPLS,MN
SEPTEMBER 13TH FROM 11-3 AND SEPTEMBER 14TH FROM 9-4

Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 08:23 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Alison starts work today,Mikala school tomorrow.
We hopefully will get some news from the Doctors this week.

I hope you all had a good Labor Day,I know I said memorial day on sunday,silly me.

Please continue checking in,And posting if you want.
For all of you going back to school,make it a good day.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 08:35 PM (CDT)

So for some reasons Sundays make me sad. Today I thought about the Saturday Gabe died,he was surrounded by so many of us that loved him so deeply,I keep seeing sweet Chads face and his sadness.I think how strange is it that our bodies just stop and how much I wish that Gabes was still going.

I ache for Mikala and her first day of school,on Wednesday, without Gabe to ride the bus with her,I know he will be their in spirit
but however you looked at it it is not the same.

I love you all.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Happy Memorial Day

Saturday, August 31, 2002 at 09:25 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

It has been 5 saturdays since Gabe left us.......

Earth Angels

Are there really Angels on earth?

Chances are, you have already met one...

They look like ordinary people

But are far from being ordinary.

Earth Angels are those individuals

Who touch our lives in a magical way.

We feel them within the confines of our hearts.

We reconize them because of their special qualities

And because of their exceptional character,

For the good deeds that they perform.

They enter our lives

At precisely the right moment in time when we need them.

They are genuine, kind, thoughtful, loving,

Caring, warm,sensitive and inspirational.

If you can feel this beauty in another person then chances are,

You have come in contact with your special Angel

And you may never be the same again because of it.

Then and only then, will you realize that

You have been "Touched By An Angel."

Our Gabe

Where does the time go.I thought I posted yesterday.
Things have been busy,getting ready for school ect...
Alison and Mikala were over yesterday.Mikala is set on finding and purchasing her Halloween costume now.

The Garage Sale will be September 13th and 14th.

it is a neiborhood sale on the 14th 4334 10th ave south minneapolis.
All proceeds from our sale will go to Ali and Mikala

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 08:39 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Sorry there was no entry yesterday I needed to take logan school shopping and then Ali,Mikala,Logan Mac and I went out to a friends house. They live on a lake,it was a mini vaction.:)

I think I told you already Alison starts work on Sunday.
Mikala back to her and Gabes school on tuesday.

I think rountine is good but when your routine included Gabe and now you must do it without him it will be hard.

Any words of encouragement to both of them will be sincerely
appreciated.

Still no words from the doctors about Gabe.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, August 26, 2002 at 11:20 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,
Not much new to report.Busy day ,Ali and Mikala came over before I had to work at 2pm. Ali starts back to work Sept.1
Mikala starts school next week.Two really big changes for both of them.Thet will really need our support.

So if any of you want to send them messages about going back into work and school that would be great.

I love you all and thank you for continuing to check in.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thanks Margo :)

Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 07:30 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

Well yesterday was the fourth saturday of Gabes passing.
It some ways time goes so fast in others it drips by.
The fact that Gabe will never be here in body again hangs so heavy on my heart.
I can't believe that he will never be here again to wrestle with Mikala or hug his Mom,or me for that matter.

With all the ugliness in the world why did such a wonderful
human being have to be taken from earth,from his family.
If you have any answers to that question please post them.

It might soothe the heart.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, August 24, 2002 at 08:37 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

Mikala is spending the night tonite,joy of joys:)
She desparatly misses Gabe. I wish I could take her sorrow away but nothing will ever do that.I cannot imagine the loss of a sibling,yuck.

we went to a wonderful wedding today Mikala was one of the flower girls,she looked liked she should be in a magazine.

It was nice to do something special like that. I am sure Gabe was watching his beautiful sister.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, August 23, 2002 at 09:18 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,
Sorry for not updating yesterday but the server was down.
I also needed to go to a memorial service for a friends wife,who passed away suddenly on Tuesday.My sympathys to Gerry and his Family.

The Garage Sale has been set for the second weekend in September all proceeds are going to Alison and Mikala.
I found out that that is the weekend of our community sale so it should work out great.

No word from the Doctors yet,they are waiting to get some more results back.

I hope you are all hanging in their and if you ever need to talk I am here. vlj322@mn.rr.com

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 02:51 PM (CDT)

Goodafternoon,

Cloudy day today.Sad day,one of my manager friends from my work wife passed away on tuesday.I will be going to the memorial today.

Thank you again for all your messages and notes of caring.
Ali and Mikala as do I appreciate them so much.

The Doctors are still waiting for so more test results before we meet with them.

All for now,

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 10:12 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

The GARAGE SALE will be the second weekend in Sept.

I talked to Mikala and she said she had a dream about Gabe
that they were laying in the hospital bed together playing and they fell out onto the floor and stayed there laughing
and playing for a long time.

Then she had a sad dream about him. I told her that i had asked Gabe all night to let me know he was okay.
Mikala told me I am only supposed to ask once otherwise
Gabe will think I am sad. and won't be able to come,very insightful I thought.

Remember it is day tomorrow.Get information here http://www.worldhealing.co.ukworld
WORLD HEALING DAY

THURSDAY 22 AUGUST 2002

LONDON It was announced today that on Thursday 22 Au
gust 2002 the seventh World Healing Day will take place
This annual event, which began in 1996, has linked up thousands of people across the world in meditation,
prayer, and mindful activity to help raise world consciousness and further world healing.

World Healing Day seeks to promote a greater awareness of our interconnectedness as a global family, and to
provide an opportunity for people to move beyond division and to express collectively their vision of a more harmonious and peaceful world.

"We believe that sufficient numbers of people sharing the same focused intent at the same time can have a
positive effect on the wider world. Physicists have shown that subatomic particles respond to our intent, and recent experiments conducted by the HeartMath Institute in the United States have shown that dramatic changes are registered in the Earths magnetic field in response to our experience of planetary love."
On World Healing Day you are invi
ted to join people around the world in two simultaneous global linkups.
The first will take place at 12 noon GMT (1pm in the UK) and the second will take place at 22.20 GMT
(11.20pm in the UK). Please note that the UK will be observing daylight saving time, which is an hour
ahead of GMT. Each linkup will last for at least 20 minutes.

During this time you can meditate, pray, dance, sing, or perform a symbolic act. Whatever you do, and
wherever you are, dedicate your intent to the expansion of love and awareness on the Planet, and as you
contemplate your connection with all things, sense the ripples of what you do spreading outwards to uplift
all.

The Global Spiritual Network
To subscribe and receive our daily postings or to unsubscribe go to
www.enabling.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/gsn
If you would like to send a posting to the netw
ork send it to the list Co-ordinator Maggie Erotokritou at
surya@spidernet.com.cy

GodBless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, August 19, 2002 at 05:52 PM (CDT)

Goddevening,

Thanks to those of you who continue to read the page.The numbers are slowing down.I knew it was bound to happen.

Some news that I wanted to share.I am going to be having a garage sale the second or third weekend in september. The proceeds will go to Ali and Mikala.Alison did not work for
many weeks while Gabe was int the hospital.I have many things that I can get rid of so it makes perfect sense to do it.
I will let you all know the time and place.
Ali and Mikala are coming home from a long weekend in Kansas.
I missed them,it will be nice to see them again.

I am thinking about doing another web page where people could post poetery,
pictures and maybe chat.I think gabe would like that let me know what you think.

God bless,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 09:44 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

Life is strange.Gabe has been gone three weeks. What do we do when someone we care aboutso much dies,I don't know what to do.Sometimes I feel completely normal and then I will think about going to the hospital,oh I can't go there any more Gabe is gone.

The loss is unexplainable.I think of Ali and Mikala,they were gone this weekend and so I went to check on things and thought,Gabe willl never be there again,yes his spirit will be, it is ever presant but he will not be there.It is so unfair for us,death I mean.
It is so complicated when you are the ones left on earth to figure out what to do next.

As you can read I am missing Gabe and feeling the pain of his being gone,it still does'nt seem real.
That my sweet nephew was taken from us at such an early age,it is so unfair.So painful

I am sorry to have written this but............

God Bless.

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, August 17, 2002 at 06:17 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Sad news today. Gabes Auntie Lisa is going back to Seattle
today. It has been so good to have her here.Ali and Mikala will miss here dreadfullly.She has been here for about two months.Today is the third week Aniversary of Gabes passing.
We looked at a lot of pictures last night.We found some beautiful ones of Mikala and Gaberiel.Thank goodness for cameras.
I will continue putting new photos on the webpage when I
get our new scanner.I will also update early next week about what they found out about Gabe tummy.

What a wonderful boy he is.I love him dearly as do you.
Well i muust get ready to take Auntie Lisa to the airport and then I must go to work.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, August 16, 2002 at 01:16 PM (CDT)

Goodafternoon,

Ali and Mikala are doing well.We had a nice barbaque at Jessica's last nite.

My obituary that I wrote for Gabe will be in the Northfield news tomorrow with gabes picture.

No news from the Doctors yet.

Thank you for continuing to send messages,they mean so much to us.

I put some new pictures on the webpage.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 06:46 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

I miss Gabe today.I was looking at some pictures of Gabe and us today.

I was outside with the sun shining and the strong breeze blowing,and I thought to myself how do we get Gabe back.
He can't be gone forever there must be a way to bring him back.It all happened so fast.
I miss him and I am sad.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

click on camera

Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 01:35 PM (CDT)

Goodafternoon,

Well some good news today.The Northfield News reprinted Gabes obituary with the correct reason for his passing in todays paper and will also reprint my original with hopefully a picture on Saturday.

Also I downloaded some pictures onto the webpage.Just double click on the camera down below.

Thanks again for your continuing to write messages.

Mikala likes to read them,and so do I

more tomorrow.

God Bless

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 08:53 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Thank you for the new posts.

Well the editor of the Northfield News called me yesterday.He told me that if you are not from Northfield they post generic obituaries.I told him Gabe was a part of Northfield. He was kind and understood my frustrations.
So it will be reposted in the paper as close to the orginal as they will allow.

For those of you who attended the service if you would like to share how you felt it went that would be great.

More great news.There is a wonderful web site that has a lot of information on AML the leukemia Gabe had and on bone marrow
transplants

http://www.acor.org/diseases/hematology/Leukemia/leukemia.html

They may post Gabes web page on the site which would be great.

Please continue to post your stories of Gabe.Even if you did'nt know him to well,I want to have them for Mikala.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

I love you and miss you Gabe and enjoy the breezes you send my way.
Love Auntie Vicki

Monday, August 12, 2002 at 07:09 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Thank you for continuing to read the web-page.Alison and Mikala came over last night we had fun and laughed,but it is not the same.I hoped Gabe was watching because he would have been laughing as hard as us.

We are waiting to find out some medical information on Gabe I will post as soon as we get the information.

I am also going to try and contact the editor at the Northfield Newspaper in regards to Gabes obituary.
I know it is a free service but instead of leaving information out they changed facts and that is not okay.
I had asked that the editor call me on Friday but he did'nt.

Please continue to post your stories of Gabe.Even if you did'nt know him to well,I want to have them for Mikala.

A friend of mine from North Dakota that came to Gabes service was telling me of her one and only meeting of Gabe before our 20 year High school reuinon.It was so nice to listen,it helps keep Gabe alive.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki
And any of you going through hospital time with your childern I wish you the best.Don't give a hoping,know your stuff and ask questions.

Sunday, August 11, 2002 at 08:25 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Yesteday it has been a week since Gabes passing. I was at work
at 12pm today,I went into my mangers office to have some quiet time and I asked the heavens for a song to help me through the sadness and loneliness I was feeling.At 12:15
the song It's not easy " came on it was one of the songs
we listened to when Gabe was passing away,what a gift.

I continue to feel that I am in the twlight zone,it just does'nt seem real,I keep waiting for Gabe to get better.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Post if you want I still like hearing from everyone.

Saturday, August 10, 2002 at 10:14 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

Today it has been a week since Gabes passing. I was at work
at 12pm today,I went into my mangers office to have some quiet time and I asked the heavens for a song to help me through the sadness and loneliness I was feeling.At 12:15
the song It's not easy " came on it was one of the songs
we listened to when Gabe was passing away,what a gift.

I continue to feel that I am in the twlight zone,it just does'nt seem real,I keep waiting for Gabe to get better.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Post if you want I still like hearing from everyone.

Friday, August 09, 2002 at 10:24 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

I cannot believe that will be one week since
Gabes passing on Saturday. Life sometimes goes so slow when you want it to go fast and so fast when you want it to go slow.

I saw Alison, Mikala and our sister Lisa today we went over to Margies for dinner.It was nice but a little empty.

It is hard not to think about going to the hospital anymore,I miss the nurses. I MISS GABE

Jessica is having a garage sale tomorrow benifiting Alison and Mikala.
From 8-3 pm.

That is all for now. I work the next four days but will continue to update.

Please continue to check in

and leave me messages it was so nice to see some new posts,
and thank you for the e-mails they make the world of difference in these trying times.

God Bless Goodnight.

Auntie Vicki

p.s I love you gabe,have sweet dreams.

Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 09:49 PM (CDT)

Greetings,
Today was a day of permanence. I called in at work and
an hour later called and said I had to come in because
I would have sat home and cried,It was better to be at work.
I miss the thought of going to the hospital calling 80 times a day ( some may say that is an exageration:) )to see what Gabes temp is what his blood pressure is at .

I say a dragon fly today and said hi gabe.

I can't believe he is really gone.

Please e-mail me with even just a hi,I know it might sound desparate,but I feel desparate.I want to know who is reading my messages.

I am so SAD,I miss my Gabe.
Please let me know that you miss him too.

Or how you felt the service was.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 10:04 PM (CDT)

What to say.I am sad.I wish we had not had to have the service we did,that time could roll back and Gabe would be playing in my back yard.But ,here we are without Gabe but with a mountain full of memories of a beautiful day that was appreicated by all.

To all of Gabes classmates,thank you for coming Gabes Mom said she was said she did'nt have a chance to talk to more of you.Please keep his memory alive.and please keep posting if there is anything else you remember about Gabe.
I want to make this a keepsake for Mikala for when she is older.

To all of Gabes Friends and aquaintences,Thank you for coming.I am sad as well as Alison and Mikala that we could not speak with you all,please feel free to call or e-mail.

To the Hospital Staff,Thank you for showing your respect for Gabe and our loss it made a world of difference.
You are all great people and I admire your courage to fight the battle of curing the childeren or making them comfortable and happy.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 06:42 AM (CDT)

To view Gabes Obituary please copy this
address and post on your search engine
http://www.legacy.com/startribune/LegacyHome.asp

Please come and celebrate Gabes Life with us.

Gabes memorial service will be held on Wednesday August 7th
at 3pm at the Carleton College Chapel. A reception will follow at the Alumni guest house across the street.

Please use cedar ave.(hwy 77) for your journey.
35w has extensive construction right now.

www.mapquest.com can help with directions.
The chapel address is

Carleton College
1 N College St
Northfield, MN
55057-4044

Please kkep your messages of support and love for Gabe coming in. I will be compling them for Alison and Mikala.

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

Please do not hesitate to e-mail me with any questions you might have

Monday, August 05, 2002 at 12:44 PM (CDT)

To view Gabes Obituary please copy this
address and post on your search engine
http://www.legacy.com/startribune/LegacyHome.asp

Goodafternoon,

Please come and celebrate Gabes Life with us.

Gabes memorial service will be held on Wednesday August 7th
at 3pm at the Carleton College Chapel. A reception will follow at the Alumni guest house across the street.

Please use cedar ave.(hwy 77) for your journey.
35w has extensive construction right now.

www.mapquest.com can help with directions.
The chapel address is

Carleton College
1 N College St
Northfield, MN
55057-4044

Please kkep your messages of support and love for Gabe coming in. I will be compling them for Alison and Mikala.

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

Please do not hesitate to e-mail me with any questions you might have

Monday, August 05, 2002 at 12:01 AM (CDT)

Goodevening,

Well I never knew my life could change so much in 24 hours.
I tryed all friday night to update and today until 11am.

Gabe passed away on Saturday snuggled in his mothers arms,with his sister and father and many friends and family surrounding his bed.With beautiful music planning( A CD put together by Sam,who never met Gabe but oboviusly by the of music knew him very well)
His breathing mask was removed he opened his eyes toook some quiet breathes and left us here on earth to be with us
in our souls and in our spirits.

We spent much time with him ,last night we watched funny movies and talked to him about lots of wonderful things about him.

Good evening.

Plans for Gabes memorial celebration will be posted here
Monday afternoon.

Please continue sending your memories of Gabe and and messages to Mikala and Alison.

All of you that have cared,prayed and loved Gabe,I thank you.

All of you that have shared your thoughts whether you knew him for a long time or short I thank you for posting,
please continue to do so.

I also want to thank the entire loving staff on 4e,We could not
of had the peace and togetherness of family if you had not loved Gabe as much as we do.
God Bless
Warmly,
Auntie Vicki

Saturday, August 03, 2002 at 05:37 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

Well I never knew my life could change so much in 24 hours.
I tryed all friday night to update and today until 11am.

Gabe passed away on Saturday snuggled in his mothers arms,with his sister and father and many friends and family surrounding his bed.With beautiful music planning( A CD put together by Sam,who never met Gabe but oboviusly by the of music knew him very well)
His breathing mask was removed he opened his eyes toook some quiet breathes and left us here on earth to be with us
in our souls and in our spirits.

We spent much time with him ,last night we watched funny movies and talked to him about lots of wonderful things about him.

Please continue sending your memories of Gabe and and messages to Mikala and Alison.

Plans for Gabes memorial celebration will be posted here.

All of you that have cared,prayed and loved Gabe,I thank you.
All of you that have shared your thoughts whether you knew him for a long time or short I thank you for posting,please continue to do so.

I also want to thank the entire loving staff on 4e,We could not
of had the peace and togetherness of family if you had not loved Gabe as much as we do.
God Bless
Warmly,
Auntie Vicki

Friday, August 02, 2002 at 05:47 PM (CDT)

Well I must tell you that this journey I have been a part of with Gabe has been incredible.

To know some many people in this world love and have prayed
for him hundreds of times a day in these last 6 months is a gift most people won't know in a lifetime.

Gabe is still here, we have decided to concentrate on making him comfortable as pain free as possible,and to help him pass on to his next journey with ease.
We don't know how long he will stay with us but we will enjoy every second of it.

I love Gabe so much,I will miss him more then anyone can imagine,I watched him come into this world. I will watch him leave.

One thing Gabe always wanted was to make a huge impact on this world,he obivously has.If you would please write and post a message on how Gabe changed or made an impact on your life.

Gabe you are a sweet darling of a young man I will miss your body in my house,in my car in the grass playing with Logan Mac and Mikala in the back yard.

*****Please take some time to write to ALison,Gabes Mom. She will needs us to uplift and carry her and Mikala*******

I don't ever want to stop writing.
I love you Gabe.

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

I will update throughout the evening

Friday, August 02, 2002 at 02:24 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,
6:23 am
Well we still our here with Gabe.A mostly peaceful night,Gabe did seem to be in a lot of paqin for a period of the early morning.
less you all and keep your prayers coming strong Gabe is wonderful.
God BLess,
Auntie Vicki

Gabe is still with us.Being snuggled by his Mom read to by his Grandma Regine.TOuched and talked to by his Aunts,Poppa,and Ami.LOved by all that enter his room.He is truly a miricle.

Keep loving him and praying for him and us.

We so appreicate all you are giving us dear God and wonderful friends.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 02:39 PM (CDT)

Goodafternoon,

8:07 pm
Update
Gabe is still with us.He is snuggled up with his Mom in his bed. One of his favorite movies is on the tv,Crouching Tiger hidden Dragon
Bless you all ,
Auntie Vicki
5:09 pm
UPDATING THE PAGE.
Gabes blood gases are right where they need to be his blood pressure is okay.
He is staying with us right now and we are enjoying every minute of it.:)

Today Gabe is on a new part of his journey.
He always tells his Mom that he wants to make a difference in the world and God knows he has.

Please pray for our guidence and are saddness to be diminished.

Please pray for Gabes wonderous spirit
to live on through all he touches
God BLess,

Auntie Vicki

I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND YOU CHANGED THE WEATHER SWEETIE FACE GABE

Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 06:28 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Gabe is amazing.HE is sweet wonderful smart gentle and kind.

We thought we were going to lose him this morning.His blood
pressure dropped and they had a very hard time getting him stable.

He is still here:)

Bless him dear lord and keep healing his gentle body.

Please keep your prayers coming to wonderful sweet Gabe.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 09:45 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe is staying strong.Blood pressure good,no tempature,
blood gases good.

He is still having problems with his cathater and blood clots,also with his small bowel obstruction.

We really know nothing more about either of them accept that
they both need to get better.

Please today pray for the disappreance of the small bowel
obstruction, and that his tummy becomes less swollen.

Also that they can solve the blood clot problem in his bladder.

God Bless you all.

Please continue to send heartfelt and healn messages to Gabe so I can read them to him.

Warmly,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 11:43 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Thanks to all who sent messages they mean so much to Gabe and to us.

His stomach is still distended and they still don't know exactly what the obstruction so we will what and see.

keep our prayers up for Gabe to stay strong and Heal.

God Bless you all and Gabe.

Auntie Vicki

Monday, July 29, 2002 at 10:04 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Well Gabe had a busy day today. He was having a lot of bleeding from his catheter so they changed that and got
rid of a lot of blood clots :)

They also replaced his NG tube which runs from his nose into his stomach and suctions out the stomach fluids : bile
blood and what ever else might be lying around:).

He seems much more comfortable after they did those two procedures.

Thanks to all who sent messages they mean so much to Gabe and to us.

His stomach is still distended and they still don't know exactly what the obstruction so we will what and see.

Gabe's Mom Alison drew a beautiful pictue of Gabe surrounded by his favorite things.
We went and had ice cream with a terrific Mom and friend
All in all it was a good day we must keep our prayers up

for Gabe to stay strong and Heal.

God Bless you all and Gabe.

Good night from Auntie Vicki

Monday, July 29, 2002 at 08:45 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Gabe is in extreme pain from what Regine has told me.

They just did a chest X-ray and will look at the CT scan results this morning.
WE must believe and pray that Gabe can get through this.
I am fearful,I don't want to be so I pray to God to take my fear away.

We need to send Gabe Golden light and healing energy and prayers that Good things are happening to and for him,he has been through so much you can't even imagine,because he wants to grow up,travel to Japan get married and have children of his own.

Please keep posting messages.

Please Keep your prayer energies high.

GOD BLESS GABE
Gabes Auntie

Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 07:49 PM (CDT)

Goddevening,

Gabe CT scan results will be tomorrow. He is still stable.

Please keep praying for the clot to clear and for him not to be in a lot of pain.

Please also send messages.

God Bless Gabe.

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 08:15 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Gabe had a stable night.They did a chest X-ray at 7am
we will find out the results later today.He will also have
an ultrasound on his tummy and a CT scan on his tummy.
So it will be a busy day.

I work until this evening so I will post again tonite.

Please continue praying for Gabes healing and strength.

And for whatever is in his tummy to correct itself.

Also pray for Alex who is a beautiful little girl out in Washington state that has had a relapse for the fifth time.

God Bless Gabe.

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 09:23 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe had a a stomach x-ray tonite. Some good news looks like no air leaking out of his bowels which means no perferations:) They saw a round something in the x-ray it could be a blood clot inside or outside his bowel.

If it is outside the can fix it. So pray that it is outside the bowel and reapirable.

He is also not expelling his C02 very well which he needs to do So pray that this fixes itself.

God guided me today to ask if Dr.Kan could share with us what he thought of Gabes tummmy because it seemed bigger.
He was kind enough to come down and look at Gabe and order
the X-ray.
Dear Resident Betsy is passing the news to Ali as we speak
she is wonderful and understanding,all the staff that takes care of Gabes are Wonderful,we are blessed to have them.

Please keep the prayers coming Gabe is still fighting,
with are energy and prayers He will heal.

Please also send messages we love to read thenm to Gabe.

God BLess,

Goodnight
Auntie Vicki

Friday, July 26, 2002 at 09:00 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Well another day has passed Gabe is still fighting we are still believing in miricles.

His bowel obstruction is of utmost concern now. One Doctor
said one thing one Doctor said another we choose to believe that it is a blood clot and that it will disolve.

Gabe is very sick and the Doctors are very worried but they
still have hope.
Please pray that the blood clot disolves.

Please pray that Gabe does what he needs to do.

Please Pray that Gabe heals. His Doctors and Nursing staff are wonderful. Words cannot express the love and gratitude
I feel for them.

Keep praying for there guidence

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 09:55 PM (CDT)

greetings,

Where do I begin. Gabe is incredible!!!!! His blood gases were not good this morning. But they got better after Diaylisis.:) They talked to us about putting Gabe on a venitlator. and that Gabe could have a crisis that he might
not make it.

Thank all of you that believe in Gabe and believe that he can do it
Thank you Joe Frank Laura and Pam for your healing touch.

Please keep everything positive coming Gabes way Music that makes you think of Gabe classical Frank Sinatra whatever/
Prayers that enliven Gabes spirit Prayers that send healing messages his way do it do it now Pray for his Doctors to give them knowledge and healing.

God Bless aYou and Let me hear from you.

I tell Gabe everyday who has sent him messages .

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 09:39 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Gabe is still doing a good job hanging in there.
His temp is good blood pressure good.

He is just starting Dialysis I will update when we get back from the hospital.

God Bless,

Keep the prayers coming to heal his GVHD.

Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 09:07 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Not much change from Monday to Tuesady to Wednesday.
Gabe seems to be in more pain. Ali is going to suggest they
do a CT scan to see what is up.

Please continue Your prayers. All day at work Gabe kept coming into my mind.Him being at our house playing with Logan and Mac and Mikala. Us talking on the phone being
excited about a Game we won on E-Bay HIm calling me to remind me to watch Frasier which is his favorite show.

I want so much for him to get better. Please continue writing your wonderful messages of support.
Gabe has been the Hospital since April 30 th .

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, July 22, 2002 at 08:40 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

So sorry I missed a day,I have been working a lot.
Gabe is still fighting.They have found what they think is a blood clot in his bowel and a large one in his bladder both are causing him an extreme amount of pain.
We are just taking one day at a time beliving in healing and answered prayers.

Please continue your support it is more important then ever.

Please continue to pray for Gabes healing and some extra prayers for the clots to dislove and for the pain to disapate.

God Bless,

More tomorrow.

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 06:16 PM (CDT)

greetings,
As we speak I am talking to Gabes nurse his name is Matt is is wonderful!!
His temp is good,blood pressure good.
Giving Gabe medicine for the 2 viruses.Right now it is pray and hope and believe that all the medicines are working to get him better.

Love to you all

Keep the prayers and messages coming

God Bless

Auntie Vicki

Friday, July 19, 2002 at 12:01 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe went down this morning to get CT scans of his tummy
lungs and pelvis. We will know the results this afternoon.
The liquid coming from his ng tube (which runs from his nose down into his stomach is running clearer)
Positive news ( thank you God)
His stools have lessened in serverity(thank you God)
He did test positive for 2 viruses which they are giving him meds for (please pray that the New meds will cure the infections )

That is about all right now.
Gabe Aunt Pam set up a web pray circle if you are interested in joining please go to http://www.beliefnet.com/rd.asp?milestoneTypeID=6&q=33869

you must register but it is a nice site.

God Bless you and keep up all the Praying it is working.

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 08:34 PM (CDT)

Hello,

Gabe is fighting a strong battle. Will keep you posted with new news.

Love to you all

News today the GVHD has still not gone away,Gabe is in very serious condition. They are running out of ideas to help cure him of this awful side effect of his cord blood transplant.

They are starting another treatment of rabbit ATG today it will run for 5 days.They are also increasing his steroid treatment substancially for 3 days, also increasing his CSA
a drug that paralizes the T_cells and the ATG and Steriods
blow them up.

We need all of you and everyone you know to pray for Gabe.
WE BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF PRAY.

Please help Gabe his Doctors and the medicine work for Gabe
and make him well.

Gabe has to many things he wants to do in his life.
Go to Japan,California,Camping, learn Tai Chi
finish school.

Please send messages know so I can read them to him.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Please if you have questions don't hesitate to e-mail me at vlj322@mn.rr.com

Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 05:36 PM (CDT)

Monday, July 15, 2002 at 08:56 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

Good news Gabe seemed to be responding to Ali today nodding and blinking:)

Well today was kind of mixed up.Gabe was supposed to have
a scope today to see where his GVHD is he had it but we won't get results until tomorrow morning.

Prayers are requested for Gabes healing and for his new T-cells to settle down and be happy with thier new surroundings.
They need to quit beating up on Gabe. So however you feel
you want to pray for that please do so.

Also want to pray for Alison Gabes Mom she has not worked for serval weeks due to Gabe being so sick.

Donations are still being accepted at the address on the webpage.

God Bless

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 07:27 PM (CDT)

It looks as though the GVHD is back, so sad.
We will know more tomorrow after they do a scope.

Please keep praying for Gabe we need so much for him to get better.
Please pray that the new T_cells stop fighting Gabes organs.
It is time for them to settle into there new wonderful home,Gabes body.

God Bless,

Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 08:36 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Gabe this morning is stable,his blood pressure is still high
but they are controling it.

I want all of you that ask Gabe to e-mail you thhat I am sure he would love to but that he is not able to even talk.
He sleeps most of the day and when he is awake he does not talk, he opens his eyes sometimes.

We that see him everyday know that he is getting better,very slowly but he is healing.It will take a while for Gabe to be himself again.

Please keep sending messages,I tell him everyday who has posted on the site.

Pray for his healing and that his body and mind will continue to grow stronger everyday.

We know his spirit is strong.

God Bless Enjoy the beautiful day and appreciate your loved ones.

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 08:33 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Gabe is doing okay.He blood pressure is now very high and they are having troubles keeping it down, (pray for it to balance itself) No temp:) moved the Doctors hand away during his lumbar pucnture last night:)
No talking yet but Ali said he made a Gabe sound yesterday
while she was doing his mouth care.

Must go to work.
Please remember that prayers work wonders :)
God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 09:30 PM (CDT)

Greetings,
Gabe is a wonder. He is not only being strong through this ordeal but he is making neurologist question what is going on with his mind. God I wish I knew. They did a CT scan of his head today. He was not as active today. His GVHD seems to be subsiding:)

More tomorrow.

God Bless and Love to you all.

Keep up the prayers and healing thoughts.

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 09:41 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

oday was like a roller coaster ride.They thought they might need to put Gabe on a ventaltor and then decided that he was doing okay.He was moving around a lot today like he was getting the kinks out.

I love him so much and want and know that hew is getting better everyday.

Please contnue your prayers and messages.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 09:19 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Sorry I did'nt post yesterday.Gabe had surgery yesterday morning,it went well.Then I had to go to work.

Gabe is still using his breathing mask. He had a CT Scan on his stomach chest and sinuses. No results yet.
He still is not responding to much.

We will see what today brings.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, July 08, 2002 at 08:48 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe had two ports removed from him today. One was in his arm to measure blood pressure through his vein. The other in his neck where they did dialysis.

Tmorrow at 930 am he will have surgery to implant a new port in his chest for dialysis.

He is doing better,our prayers are being answered.

Please pray for sucessful surgery tomorrow and continue
healing and curing of Gabes GVHD.
Also that his neurological well being begins to return.
The charge nurse said he has a long road to recovery but we know he can do it.

Please leave Gabe messages here so we can read them to Gabe.
He is cannot read his e-mails and we don't know his password.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 08:07 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Just talked to Regine.Gabe breathing was a little slow
so they put him on the breathing mask. They did a chest x-ray we will know the results later this morning.His temp is good.

As always continue your prayers,healing energy and good thouhgts.

AND MESSAGES>>>WE read them to GABE

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 08:47 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

I am listening to Frank Sinatra ( one of Gabes Favorites) :)

Gabe is holding his own,we are thinking that the new medicine to combat his GVHD is working, thank you GOD:)

I work tomorrow so I will try to update before I go.

Please continue your prayers hopes and healing energy.

And please continue e-mailing we read them to Gabe.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, July 05, 2002 at 10:05 PM (CDT)

Greetings,
Sorry it took so long to update today I worked and then went to be with Gabe. He is doing okay, still very sick but we see little imrovements everyday.

Please write and pray.

All of your prayers are helping Gabe heal through this journey,

GOD BLESS Goodnight,,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 09:35 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe bleeding has slowed down.:)
But his temp is only 94.5 and he is back on the breathing mask.

They are looking for infection.

Please pray today for Gabe to have strength to fight whatever it is.

SEND HIM POSITIVE HEALING ENERGY HE NEEDS ALOT RIGHT NOW..

LOVE TO YOU ALL GOD BLESS<

AUNTIE VICKI

Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 06:07 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Spoke with the Dr.s today. Gabes heart is good his liver is good and no infections:)

He still has GVHD of the gut. They are going to try a new drug, that will get rid of it.
It throughly will wipe out his immune system which is already low but the Doctors think that this will help.
They contacted Doctors at John Hopkins and they agreeded
that this is the best protacol to follow for Gabe.

He is very sick but very strong.

Believe in Gabe and he will do wonderous things.

God BLess,

Auntie Vicki
Please send messages and continue the positive messages and PRAYERS:)

Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 11:35 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Things are pretty much the same. They are trying a new drug
to help with the bleeding.

Gabe is doing a wonderful job dealing with this,he will
get through this and he will enjoy a long and happy life.

Keep those positive energies flowing, keep the prayers coming.

Send healing messages Gabes way:
Take a minute to.......

Picture the healing power of Gods warmth and sunshine healing Gabe from the inside out.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, July 01, 2002 at 07:40 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

I just talked to Regine and she said Gabe is resting.
He lost a lot of blood last night again from the GVHD.
They had to give him blood product.

Pleae continue your praying that God ,Gabe and the medicine
will stop this gut GVHD.

God Bless,

I will update again tonite.

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, June 30, 2002 at 09:27 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

I want to Thank you all for all the prayers and positive messages,please keep them coming.

I want to also make it clear that although a lot of things are improving for Gabe is GVHD is very serious.
It must improve,

Please pray for Gabes healing of GVHD of the gut.

GOD Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 08:16 PM (CDT)

goodevening,

Gabe opened eyes and lightly squeezed one of
the nurses hands,he also cried today.He is still not
coherent but he is showing signs for improving.
Blood pressure a little high today a little fever.

The biggest concern is the bleeding he is having due
to the graft versus host diease.

Please keep up your praying and positive thoughts.
He is getting stronger and every littl positive thought
prayer helps.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki
I work 10-6pm sunday

Friday, June 28, 2002 at 02:12 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Just got back from the hospital. Gabe is pretty much the same. Good things no temp,blood pressure good,counts good,
kidneys doing better.

Things we are still concerned about, GVHD and the fact that he is not communicating.

So please continue you pray for his increased strength, and
for the disapperance and end of the GVHD that he begins
to come around neurologically.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 12:28 PM (CDT)

Gabe has been bleeding a lot from the GVHD.
We are so sad that it has come back.

Alison has not worked for a couple of weeks
and will try to get an unpaid leave from her job. She needs to be with him,and needs to be available to talk to the Doctors.
She had hoped she would not have to stop working but it is not possible.

I will update you more later if anything changes.

Keep praying for Gabe to keep his strength
up and for the good cells to fight and over take the bad ones.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 09:10 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe is in need of many prayers.They think his GVHD has returned. Which means that he needs another round of ATG which severly
impairs his immune system.

He has no temp:) blood pressure stable:)
breathing great:)

Keep the messages coming and the prayers going.

Love to you all.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, June 25, 2002 at 11:44 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Many things are improving for Gabe, his temp is normal,blood pressure good,GVHD
seems to be getting better.
He needs to be on dialysis today to get more fluid off of him.He also is really
out of it.
They are going to try to reduce his pain meds, do a spinal tape and or MRI to see whats up.

Must go to work,

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

Monday, June 24, 2002 at 04:32 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe is doing better. Temp down to normal,
blood pressure stabilizing. :)
Had dialysis today got a bit of fluid :)
Might do spinal tape and or MRI in the next couple days to see why is still kind of out of it.

Thanks for reading,posting and most importantly praying.
You are all so wonderful and supportive.

Please keep it up,it sure helps.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 08:27 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Rainy day. Gabe had a peaceful night.Temp is down,Blood pressure dropped once last night.Seemed to sleep peacfully.
I must go to work.
More later.

Prayer Requests,
for the Doctors to find out why Gabe is still having fevers and why he has these blood pressure drops.

Also that they can do a successful dialysis treatment today.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 06:36 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

I start my 3 days on at work so the updates
might not be as timely. Regine called last night and said the had Gabe off the breathing machine and that the were humming together and he was happy.He is still kind of out of it ( Gabe I mean that in a nice way) but it is great that he is doing a great job off the breathing machine,
his temp is still working its way down.
and his ANC counts are up:)

Keep posting those messages,I read them to
him.

Keep the prayers going,Ask for him to keep getting stronger,they are working.

God Bless,
Have a great Saturday.

Auntie Vicki

Friday, June 21, 2002 at 07:33 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,

Gabe update. Removed seven pounds of fluid
during dialysis:)
Talked a little bit today,kind of hard to understand but is trying to communicate:)
Eyes are better.

Things are looking up,

God bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 04:50 PM (CDT)

Goodafternoon,

Gabe spoke his first words since sunday.
" go to sleep" He just finished dialysis
his temp is 101.4
blood pressure is better. They had Turtle Derby Days which raises money for the childrens hospital. It was telivised on a local cable channel and they had a message center where you could do a live message for patients. We did one for Gabe and his nurse said he nodded when he heard our voices. :) Things are looking up.Just need to find out why his blood pressure drops.

So if you want to pray specifically pray for understanding for the wonderful doctors.
And for Gabe to be able to communicate.

All for now God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 09:00 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe had a good night last night.They are still concerned about his blood pressure and one of his eyes.They are reducing his
dosage of sedatives.His temp is at 101.2

More after we talk to the Doctors.

God Bless,
Thank you for all your prayers they certainly help as we can see with Gabes
improvements
Love to you all,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 08:54 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

I just checked in at GabesRoom.........
Temp 100.9 peaked at about 102 yesterday so that is good. :)They removed the old tube that was supposed to be removing fluids from his stomach and found it to be very clogged.They put a new one in and found that he didn't have any fluid in his tummy:)
Blood pressure dropped to 70/30 this morning at about four am .Regine called
Ali at home and as soon as she called his pressure went up.

Gabe has his breathing mask on but seems to be a little more coherent.

Things are looking up a joyous day.
Please click on the word for the day link below and read it.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 08:44 PM (CDT)

Goodevening,
Gabe woke up earlier and opened his eyes and seemed to be in pain. He is on oxegyen
His last temp was 102.3

Pray for a good night sleep for Gabe.

More tomorrow.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 10:11 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Well Gabe is been having some really rough times. A good thing is his temp is down to 100.8
He got a very bad nose bleed last night and they could not get it to stop for a long time, he is on a
breathing mask so it was especailly hard. He had dialysis yesterday and will have it again today.

Please take time out of this beautiful summer day to pray for Gabes healing for the the strengh to get through this.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki
More encouraging words would be apprecaited to read

Monday, June 17, 2002 at 08:30 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

Here is Gabes address:
Gabe Ferguson C/O
Fairview-University Children's Hospital
420 Delaware Street S.E.
Minneapolis, MN 55455

The dialysis removed 5 pounds of fluid from his body last night.His temp is at 102.
and he is sleeping. :)

God Bless,

More later
Auntie Vicki

Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 08:53 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe just underwent surgery to put a cathter in for dialysis. He is stable and wanting to go home.
Spread the word for his healing.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 06:40 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

During this time I will be updating more times because Gabe changes all the time.
His temp is down to 101.3 and he had a good nights sleep.
He is in a new room over looking the playground, alittle brighter a little sunnier. :)

I will be posting Gabes address for people if the want to send him any cards or letters :)

Happy Fathers Day.
God Bless,

Auntie Vicki
Please keep the prayers and written messages of inspiration coming.

Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 09:13 PM (CDT)

Temp back up to 104 major stomach upset.
Please pray for Gabe to keeping getting better and for things to calm down. His eyes are still really sore so is his mouth.

Thanks for all your support.

Keep praying and sharing Gabes story.

God Bless,

Gabes Auntie

Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 08:25 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe is doing better. His temp 102
His eyes are still very raw and sore.
His pain is big. But the GVHD seems to be
subsiding.
His mouth is very sore.

He is so wonderful

Please continue to pray and ask friends and neighbors to pray.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, June 14, 2002 at 07:48 PM (CDT)

Gabe had a up and down day today.One of his eyes is feeling better,his creatine levels are down.His fever was down to 102 but has now hopped up to 104.4 (please pray for his temp to go down)

Thanks to those of you who have shared your supportive words.

Thanks to Mike and his Mom for your support
you have truly helped sooth us.

More tomorrow,.

God Bless,,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, June 14, 2002 at 07:48 PM (CDT)

Friday, June 14, 2002 at 08:46 AM (CDT)

Please pray for Gabe today. ,his healing and comfort.

We need support and prays from everyone that can muster them.

Gabe is a trooper,inspiring words encouraged to be posted.

God Bless,
I will update throughout the day
Auntie Vicki

Friday, June 14, 2002 at 08:46 AM (CDT)

Please pray for Gabe today. His temp is at 103 and he needs to go on dialysis today please pray for the sucessful surgery,his healing and comfort.

We need support and prays from everyon that can muster them.

Gabe is a trooper,inspiring words encouraged to be posted.

God Bless,
I will update throughout the day
Auntie Vicki

Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 08:52 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Please pray for Gabe as much as you can.He is going through a really rough time right now. His temp is at 101.3 which is okay.
But he is in alot of pain.His legs and eyes
are very sore.The outer covering of his eye is
sloughing off,due to some of the medication.
It is like there is a shell covering Gabe.
He is in thier,but it is hard to watch him.

Please keep him in your prayers,

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 12:16 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

I just talked to Gabe for a little bit on the phone. His eyes are bothering him,but his temp is down and I think he is feeling better> :)

He needs to rest up all night last night

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 12:16 PM (CDT)

Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 07:54 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabes temp is down:) He was up most of the night. He started a new medication that will help the Graft Versus Host Diease.
He is now sleeping.

God BLess More later

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 03:58 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabes temp is still up,he had a tube inserted into his nose that goes down into his stomach to empty it of bile and blood.
He is halucinating some but is also coherent at times.

Please pray that the new meds help and that
he continues to get healthy.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 08:28 PM (CDT)

Greetings,
Good day for Gabe today.Things are always changing every few hours but I talked to him
a couple of times. More medical facts tomorrow. Keep up those mighty thoughts,they do incrediable things.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, June 10, 2002 at 09:33 PM (CDT)

Greetings,
I was going to call Gabes room before I updated but I didn't in case he was sleeping. Gabe ran a 104 temp today.He continues to have graft versus host diease.Although he has these setbacks he is still a jokster.
While laying in his bed last night he decied to pretend that he was having a seizure,needless to say his Mom did not think it was very funny.
We love you Gabe and we are praying for your joyous and speedy recovery,

God Bless,

AV

Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 09:22 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe is feeling okay.He was running a fever
and still has graft versus host.
But as always his spirits are good. He is
incredible!!!
Please pray for his healing as I know you have been.

You are all wonderful.
Please feel free to leave messages of inspiration.

God bless,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 08:01 AM (CDT)

Goodmorning,

I just talked to Ali this morning.Gabe is running a fever and is hooked up to a catheter. No fun.
Please pray for his healing.

More later.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, June 08, 2002 at 09:09 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe slept most of the day today. Which is good considering he is not feeling well.
Please pray for his healing.

God bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, June 07, 2002 at 08:11 PM (CDT)

Well it is offical Gabe has Graft Versus Host Diesase. Not fun. Please pray that they make it go away.

Thank all of you beautiful girls that came
to visit Gabe today.He will truly love the picture.

Bless you all,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, June 07, 2002 at 04:28 PM (CDT)

Gabe had another seizure today. He also had
a procedure to check his intestines ( fun)
He is sleeping for most of the time.
We will know more tonite I will keep you posted.

Please pray and write,

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 08:47 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Tough day for Gabe today,flu like symptoms,and sleepy. Hoping and praying it is not Graft versus host diesase.
Please pray.

Wonderful News.

He is 100 % grafted which means the transplant took.

God bless, Keep praying, Gabe needs you also to sign the guest book with positive messages, if you can take the time to do it
great.

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 10:07 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe had lots of people wanting to see him
first thing this morning.
He is still working on this pill thing.
Very hard t othink about taking 12 pills a day when you don't like taking them in the first place.
But as Gabe always does he will figure it out.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 02:05 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

So sorry I haven't posted in a while.
Gabe is doing ok. He is needing to figure out how he is going to start taking lots of
pills. His counts are below 1000 so we
need to think positive.
He needs to conquer this task before he can go home. The journey has just begun>>>..

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, June 03, 2002 at 08:15 PM (CDT)

Dear All,
Gabe is much better today, got some much needed rest.They put him on about ten different medications.

Hope you are not minding the rain to much.

More tomorrow,

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 09:01 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Hope you are all well today.Gabe got to go
out on pass again today, for about 4 hrs.
Hung out at home.
Has a fever tonite so any of you reading please say an extra pray that the fever goes away.

More tomorrow.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

P.S
Please keep writing in the guest book

Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 09:18 PM (CDT)

Greetings All,

Gabe is doing well. He went home and to a movie today. Must wear a mask while he is out in public but I know it does him good to get out.
Plans to go home friday of next week.

I hope you all enjoyed the sunshine today!!

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, May 31, 2002 at 08:52 PM (CDT)

Greetings Dear People,

Today was a good day for Gabe He plans to go home on Monday. Needs to be on oral meds
and counts rising,keep him in is prayers as you always do.

You are all so wonderful.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 08:51 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Please if you want to e-mail
Gabe for right now post it here.

Gabe is not feeling up to checking e-mails. He must be on anti-seizure medication for at least a few months and it makes him feel grogy.
More after I talk to him today.

Enjoy the sunshine
God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, May 30, 2002 at 08:51 AM (CDT)

Wednesday, May 29, 2002 at 08:25 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe is better today.Does'nt remember much
of anything from yesterday.Feeling better but sick at his stomach. Really sleepy.

Please keep your prayers coming.

More tomorrow.

God bless,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, May 28, 2002 at 09:06 PM (CDT)

What a difference a day makes.
Gabe had a siezure this morning and was not really conherent until 6pm this evening.
Very scary,seems one of his main medications
became toxic in his brain.
He is doing better but they must change meds and watch for anymore siezures.

More tomorrow.

God bless.

Auntie Vicki

Monday, May 27, 2002 at 08:03 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

We had a wonderful thing happen today!!
Gabe got to go home on pass. He left at around 7pm after two blood transfusions.
Needs to be back at the hospital by 9:30pm
How blessed we are.

Keep E-mailing Gabe he loves the messages.
I know we are all busy.

Hope you all had a wonderful Memorial Day.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, May 25, 2002 at 09:56 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

As you all know Gabe is doing great.
He will probably be going home next week.
He will need to hang out their,without going out much or having many vistors because of the risk of infection.
So please keep e-mailing him and keeping him in your prayers.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, May 24, 2002 at 07:36 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe was told today that he will probably
be able to go home by the end of next week.
We are so thankful.
He has been looking at camping information
on the web a lot.
We are so blessed, Gabe is so blessed to have so many friends like you, who have him in your prayers.
Thank you all.

P.S.
For all of you students Gabe has started working with his tutor. And you all only have a week of school left.Think of all the homework he has :)

God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

Thursday, May 23, 2002 at 06:36 PM (CDT)

Greetings,
Busy day off today so I am not posting until now.
Gabe is doing well. Counts were up again today :)))))):))))):)))))!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Still having joint pain and tummy pain.
But over all very well.

To those of you sending e-mails to Gabe his e-mail address is

Antares3x3@msn.com not vlj322@mn.rr.com

Have a great friday,

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, May 22, 2002 at 03:55 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

I hope you all are well today and can feel,
summer right around the corner. Gabe had a good day today,emotionally hard but over all feeling good. Enjoy your life everyday
and remember we have today.
Share your love and caring with your family and friends.

Take care and god bless.

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, May 21, 2002 at 01:23 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Good day joint pain not to bad, ANC counts up.
More tomorrow. Must go to work :)

God bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, May 20, 2002 at 07:32 PM (CDT)

Greetings.

A little sooner then later today.
Gabe is still having joint pain,the Doctors say it is from some medication I say the little stem cells are lost and they are just hanging out in Gabes joints jumping around until they can figure out how to get to his bone marrow.

Time goes by so fast, I can't believe it will be two weeks already since the stem cell transplant. Remember keep on praying for Gabe and thanks to all of you who write to Gabe it makes him really happy.

God Bless,

Auntie VIcki

Sunday, May 19, 2002 at 08:00 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

I cannot believe I missed an entry.
Gabe is doing well. He is suffering from joint pain,in his knees,hips and ankles.
He continues to be a trooper.I am starting to feel like life is getting back to "normal" because Gabe is doing so well but then I remember he has a long journey ahead of him. Please remember in your oh so busy lives to drop him a line.

Love to you all,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, May 17, 2002 at 10:19 AM (CDT)

Greetings,
Gabe is doing okay today. He is having some
joint pain, and mouth pain.
He enjoys your messages!!!

What can family and friends do to help the patient?
This is a very frequently asked question and the answer varies with the patient's likes and dislikes. Ask the patient what they prefer. Some suggestions/ideas that you can discuss are:

Mail: Patients will welcome receiving mail. It keeps them in touch with the outside world and with friends and family members back home. Cards, audio cassettes, a video of family, coworkers, or school friends, and posters are just some of the items that can be mailed.
What can family and friends do to help the patient?
This is a very frequently asked question and the answer varies with the patient's likes and dislikes. Ask the patient what they prefer. Some suggestions/ideas that you can discuss are:

Visiting: The physical condition of the patient will change on a daily basis. Some days a visit may be welcome and on other days, a short phone call may be all the patient can handle. A primary caregiver should be identified to screen the phone calls and visits.

Mail: Patients will welcome receiving mail. It keeps them in touch with the outside world and with friends and family members back home. Cards, audio cassettes, a video of family, coworkers, or school friends, and posters are just some of the items that can be mailed.

Gifts: If you are thinking of sending a gift, keep it simple. The patient is often tired and may have a short attention span because of the medical regimen. Picture books, short stories, or easy puzzles that do not require a lot of concentration are good ideas. Do not send flowers. Some centers do not allow fresh fruits. Check with a primary caregiver for gift ideas that would be appropriate for the patient.

Thursday, May 16, 2002 at 06:53 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Another good day. I brought Gabe some of my four cheese spagetti. He looks wonderful.
Would love to get some e-mails from all of you.
His e-mail address is underneath my entry

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, May 15, 2002 at 10:32 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Sunny day :)
Gabe is happy,sleepy, dopey, oh no that is the seven dwarfs.
Anyway he is doing great.

Loves to hear from all of you.

Have a great Day.

Auntie Vicki

Monday, May 13, 2002 at 08:02 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Well Gabe is doing great! I am sure it is due to his positive thinking and all of
our positive thoughts. Please keep messages
coming we love reading them to him.

Have a great day.

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, May 12, 2002 at 09:24 PM (CDT)

Hello all,
Another busy day, another day to be thankful for.
Gabe had another good day:) A little sleepy but otherwise blessed with feelin good.

More tomorrow.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, May 11, 2002 at 07:47 PM (CDT)

Greetings,
I had to work today so I did'nt get to post
until now.
Gabe is doing well today. He has had some icecream and some Japanese food.
He has been watching viedos. The Doctors
said pain would become an issue soon but Gabe says I don't think so.

All for now ,
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL OF YOU THAT
ARE MOTHERS :)

GOD BLESS<
AUNTIE VICKI

Friday, May 10, 2002 at 10:53 AM (CDT)

Greetings,
The sun is shining and Gabe is doing well.
He ate for the first time in many days and is smiling.

Have a beautiful day,

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, May 09, 2002 at 08:22 PM (CDT)

Greetings,
What a wonderful day. Gabes cord blood transplant took place at around 12:00pm
and was done at about 1:00pm. A little bag
with a tube, which through it flowed Gabes new stem cells A+ will be his new blood type. Our joke was, What were the first words Gabe spoke after the cord blood transplant?
GaGa GoGo
It was very funny at the time.
Gabe is in good spirits, he is so wanting to eat something yummy.
Thanks for all your positive thoughts and prayers you are all wonderful.

More tomorrow,

Auntie Vicki

Today is day 0 we will start counting up until Gabes white blood counts come up.
Our goal is day 14 which is thursday may 23rd.:)

Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 07:12 PM (CDT)

Greetings,
PLEASE KEEP THE MESSAGES COMING FOR GABE

So sorry that I am just getting to a new post today.
Gabe is doing well,except that he has hicups,
stomach upset and is exhausted. Tomorrow is the big day. Between Noon and 1pm Gabe will get his Cord Blood Transplant. As always keep him in your thoughts and prayers for a good night sleep and a sucessful stem cell transplant tomorrow.
Please click on the Daily reading link
below as this is what we read everyday for our strength.

What happens after the bone marrow or stem cells have been transplanted
to the patient?

After entering the bloodstream, the transplanted cells travel to the bone marrow, where they begin to produce new white blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets in a process known as "engraftment." Engraftment usually occurs within about 2 to 4 weeks after transplantation, and is monitored by checking blood counts on a frequent basis. Complete recovery of immune function takes much longer, however--up to several months for autologous transplant recipients and 1 to 2 years for patients receiving allogeneic or syngeneic transplants. Doctors evaluate the results of various blood tests to confirm that new blood cells are being produced and that the cancer has not returned. Bone marrow aspiration (the removal of a small sample of bone marrow through a needle for examination under a microscope) can also help doctors determine how well the new marrow is working.

God Bless you all.

Until tomorrow,

Auntie Vicki

Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 08:13 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Hope you are well. Please remember to leave messages. If Gabes is not feeling like going online I read them to him over the phone everyday.He loves to hear from all of you. I talked to him this morning and he sounded good. THey will give him another round of chemo today so keep him in your thoughts and prayers that the side effects
aren't bad today.

Smile,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, May 06, 2002 at 07:07 PM (CDT)

Greetings,
Kind of a tough day today. Gabe had a reaction to his first treatment of chemotherpy. They are giving him benadryl
to help with the side effects.
Please keeping him in your prayers and thoughts. As you always do.

God Bless,

Auntie Vicki

Monday, May 06, 2002 at 07:07 PM (CDT)

Monday, May 06, 2002 at 07:32 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

What a wonderful day Yesterday was.Gabe finished his Radiation treatments!!! and The party was beautiful, happy, and peaceful.
Beautiful music, wonderful friends,fantastic
food, and grand Love for Gabe.
Thank you all that attended and all of
you that were there in spirit.

Have a wonderful Day,

Auntie Vicki

Saturday, May 04, 2002 at 09:09 PM (CDT)

Wow 762 hits I can't believe it:)
Gabe is doing well. Two more treatments of radiation today. The benifit down in Northfield tomorrow from 3-6pm should be a wonderful event.
Please keep the messages coming and feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions.

Bless you all,

Auntie Vicki

Friday, May 03, 2002 at 12:20 PM (CDT)

Greetings,
Sorry it took so long to update today.
I try to wait until Ali talks to the Doctors
before I post. They have not been in today.
Gabe had another round of radiation this morning another one this afternoon.
He is in good spirits and is feeling pretty well.
Gabes e-mail address
Antares3x3@msn.com

Auntie Vicki

Thursday, May 02, 2002 at 12:19 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe had his second round of Radiation
this morning.He will have another round this afternoon, and then twice a day for the next three days.
He is settling into his room and will
have the glass doors that are the front wall
to his room painted soon.

That is all for now.
God Bless and have a great day.

Auntie Vicki

Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 12:26 PM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe had his first round of radiation this morning. He is sleepy but feeling okay:)
He has really appreciated the messages you all have sent.
Here is some information I found you might be interested in. Also I will be adding links so look out below.
Auntie Vicki

What can family and friends do to help the patient?
This is a very frequently asked question and the answer varies with the patient's likes and dislikes. Ask the patient what they prefer. Some suggestions/ideas that you can discuss are:

Visiting: The physical condition of the patient will change on a daily basis. Some days a visit may be welcome and on other days, a short phone call may be all the patient can handle. A primary caregiver should be identified to screen the phone calls and visits.

Mail: Patients will welcome receiving mail. It keeps them in touch with the outside world and with friends and family members back home. Cards, audio cassettes, a video of family, coworkers, or school friends, and posters are just some of the items that can be mailed.

Gifts: If you are thinking of sending a gift, keep it simple. The patient is often tired and may have a short attention span because of the medical regimen. Picture books, short stories, or easy puzzles that do not require a lot of concentration are good ideas. Do not send flowers. Some centers do not allow fresh fruits. Check with a primary caregiver for gift ideas that would be appropriate for the patient.

What to do: Your presence means a lot to the patient. Sometimes he or she may want to visit, other times just sitting with them is appreciated. You may offer to read a newspaper, book or talk about what's happening to family and friends. The patient may want to just listen, but not engage in conversation. A hand or foot massage or back rub may be enjoyed--ask the patient what he or she wants.

Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 08:00 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Gabe will have his first round of radiation
in a little while. An article will be in the
Northfield Newspaper today about Gabe.
And you are all wonderful.
Todays Daily Word reading is about
Divine Mission. You can click on the link
below and then click on Daily Word,the mess
ages are very inspiring.

Have a super day,

Auntie Vicki

If anyone is able and interested spending time with Gabe at the Hospital between 1-6pm let me know.

Tuesday, April 30, 2002 at 10:10 AM (CDT)

Greetings,

Well we are getting closer to the day that Gabe will begin the most intense part of his journey. We are so blessed to have all
of you sending healing and positive thoughts
Gabes way.

More tomorrow,

Auntie Vicki

Sunday, April 28, 2002 at 09:41 PM (CDT)

Greetings,
Thanks for stopping to see the site.I am trying to work on one that I have personally developed but there are glitches.
Hope you all are well. Look forward to getting some pictures on here soon.

love to you,
Auntie Vicki

Saturday, April 27, 2002 at 06:59 PM (CDT)

Greetings,
This is the first entry many that I will write during Gabes journey. I want to thank a young women I met today for helping me find this site. I went to her jewelry store
to get some information about the Benefit for Gabe and while talking to her I found out about this site, and also that her newphew is going through a cancer journey himself.
I wish Colin lots of strength and healing.
Gabe will start the transplant process Tuesday April 30th. He will undergo 5 days of radiation, and three days of chemotherpy.
His Cord Blood Transplant is scheduled May 8th.

The Benefit for Gabe is scheduled for Sunday May 5th ( Childrens Day),how appropriate:)It is being put together by a group of wonderful people,that we are throughly thankful and grateful to.
That is all for today. That is all for today.
God Bless,
Auntie Vicki

Saturday, April 27, 2002 at 06:47 PM (CDT)

Greetings,
This page has just been created thanks to a young women that helped me today.
While talking to her about Gabes Benefit
I found out that her newphew has cancer,
such a small world.Best wishes of health to Colin

Click here to go back to the main page.

----End of History----