History

Journal History

Thursday, July 14, 2005 11:26 AM CDT

This was sent to me this morning and really sums up the way I feel about life.

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation! A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."

"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers. "Yuck" says her daughter.

"How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!"

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are all yucky!"

To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.

Our lives have been changed forever. And I know God has his hand in it. He gave me Chad who I loved with all my heart and when he passed I wasn't sure I would ever find that love again. The Lord has led me on a path the past 4 yrs. From dealing with cancer, to the loss of Chad, to being a single parent(one of the things I always said I was glad I would NEVER have to be; NEVER say NEVER) to finding joy and happiness again and it leading to self-independence.

Jen

Wednesday, June 15, 2005 8:08 AM CDT

Wow,

I think I can finally see that big round bright thing in the sky. Hopefully it will stay around for more than a day.

Daycare is closed. Summer has begun. The kid's are doing soccer and loving it(even in the rain!). Tate is still doing Sylvan. I will keep him in it threw the summer. It will just give him a boost into fall.

This last weekend we went back home and stayed at the lake. On Sat we went out to the gravesite. Both of the kid's were sad and I heard may times threwout the day "I want Daddy to be alive". It's soooo hard to hear them talk like that. And how do you explain to a 4 and 7 yr old that their Daddy had to go to heaven. Nothing is fair about it. There is no way to explain it so that they will think it's ok. I have the kid's in a play group on Thur and last week Kiah announced to all the kid's that her Daddy died. She seems to be talking about it alot lately. But I think she is just trying to understand what "Heaven" really is. And why he can't come back.

I am doing well. And after a yr and a half I can say that I have many more good days than bad ones. Although I just found another song that made me cry. Yesterday I was watching/listening to CMT when "What Do You Say" came on. the last verse of the song is

Sometimes you gotta listen to the silence
And give yourself a little time to think

Her every breath is weaker than the last
And lately when she sleeps she talks about the past
Her husband knows she's tired of holding on
She looks at him and says I wanna go home

What do you say in a moment like this
When you can't find the words to tell it like it is
Just close your eyes and let your heart lead the way
Oh what do you say

Just close your eyes and let your heart lead the way
Oh what do you say
Ooo, what do you say

I just sat there and cried like a baby. There are things that will just set me off. Like that song. And I am sure they will for a long time.

Jen

Thursday, May 26, 2005 8:25 AM CDT

Hello Everyone,

The anniversary date came and went. Sunday the flowers were at the front of the church. They were beautiful and had many compliments on them. They were the same flowers that were in my wedding bouquet. White and lavender roses, purple dendrobia orchids, and purple status. They still look great and are here at the house with me. The only thing I have had to remove from them so far is the lavender roses. They are so delicate and never last long. But they are by far my favorite.

Things here are nearing summer. I have made a decision to keep Tate back and have him repeat 1st grade. He had made huge leaps being in sylvan the last 3 months, but not enough that I feel comfortable letting him go on to 2nd grade. It wasn't an easy decision. But I know that it is for the best. I don't want him to struggle like I did threw school and I would rather hold him back in 1st grade than 3rd or 4th. I will probably pull him out of sylvan as well. I have a meeting with them tonight. He is reading right now at about a middle of first grade level. I don't see the reason of keeping him in and paying the crazy rates for the summer if he is going to repeat. We gave it a good try and I know he has tried very hard. He is just developmentally behind and I know it will be better for him in the long run.

Now Kiah on the other hand... I would LOVE to throw her into Kindergarden next yr and let her take it 2 yrs. I know she would be ready and would love every min of it. I would love to get her into a preschool setting, It drives me crazy they don't have an actual preschool up here.

Jen

Tuesday, May 17, 2005 1:39 PM CDT

Anniversary's

We all have special days we mark as an anniversary. Tomorrow will be a big one for me. It would be 9 yrs that Chad and I were married.

9 yrs ago Chad and I pledged to love each other till death do us part. But honestly... death hasn't seperated us. Chad is still a part of me. He is still with me. He will always be a part of me. I can feel his presence at times. Letting me know he's here. Pulling me up out of the "muck" of life.

Yes life goes on. But it doesn't go on because I have forgotten about the one I loved the most. It goes on because that one person who meant the world to me wanted me to. And I refuse to let him down. I will live my life to make sure he is smiling above. Because I know he is watching over the kids and I. And I want him to be proud of the Mom, and person I have become.

Chad gave me 14 yrs of his love. He gave me 2 wonderful kids. He made me who I am. And he was a true angel on earth.

Thank you Chad for being who you were. Thank you for teaching me and stearing me to become who I am. Thank you for loving me.

On Sunday there will be 2 bouquets of flowers at the front of the alter at Church. They will be in honor and memory of Chad and I's life together. He will ALWAYS be a part of the kid's and I.

Jen

Monday, May 9, 2005 1:27 PM CDT

In the past 4 days the DSRCT family has lost 2 more. One was a very valuable asset to DSRCT. He got a cancer foundation in Tx to begin research on DSRCT, the other a young 16 yr old.

More and more people are being diagnosed each yr with this terrible disease. DSRCT is more than JUST cancer. Most cancers now days are treatable and can be controled. It seems the more and more we learn about DSRCT the more elusive it gets. What works for one person won't for another. You can cut it out, hit it with chemo, or radiation, and yet it seems 90% of the patients it returns in. And when it returns there is no stopping it. As Chad said when his returned, "It returned with a vengence." 8 weeks earlier he had been given a clean bill of health from Mayo, and then all of a sudden his large tumor was back and 80% of his liver had already been invaded. All of this while he had quit smoking, started running everyday, and was healthier than he had been in yrs.

There seems to be no reason to DSRCT. Nothing to pin point down that everyone did or didn't have. It's very frustrating for those trying to live their life with it.

I know that Chad, Patrick, and Chris are in heaven together right now. I know that Chad met them with open arms. Hopefully with the research now being done, something will come up to give a glimmer of hope to those still fighting.

Monday, May 2, 2005 1:18 PM CDT

4/29- New pics went up!!!

I found my boards!!! They were just sunk way down in the muck. I finally had spun far enough to find them. I am back at it and happy again. I even managed to find the bottom of the laundry pile!!!

The sun is finally back out today. I think that has helped me as well. The last 2 weeks of snow and crud was really starting to get to me. It's still chilly, but just looking out the window it looks warmer than it is!! LOL

Mother's day. Man.. it is that time already??? I had actually kind of forgotten about it till the other day when a friend of mine told me they would take my kids to the mall to go shopping for a present for me. Kinda blind sided me and I looked at them and said "is that already???"

And then the weekend after is opening of fishing. Unlike all you fishing widows, I have been invited to go. But I have to find someplace for the kids for the weekend. Hmmmmm Mom and Dad, be expecting a call!! LOL

Jen

Monday, April 25, 2005 2:07 PM CDT

4/29- New pics up!!!

Hello Everyone,

Seems as the earth is waking up from the long winter. The leaves are starting to come out on the trees, the flowers are peeking out of the ground, and the grass is getting greener and greener every day. And as that happens it means the end of yet another school yr for Tate. Just over 4 weeks of school left for him. And then he will be a big 2nd grader. It also marks the end of daycare for me for the summer. I have 2 that will be "graduating" and moving on to yet another daycare, and one that will be moving over the summer. Only one will return next fall. Change... Everything changes. Nothing stays the same.

The only thing we can count on staying the same is that some day... we all leave this earth. Other than that, everything changes. From the color of your hair, or the shape of your body to the old hunting shack that no longer stands due to vandels.

Are you prepared to keep up with the changes?

Some days I do really well with the changes. Others, I get lost and get stuck in the "muck" of life. Lately I seem to be running in nuetral. Life is passing me by, and I'm just watching it go. Things I have meant to get done, and haven't. Things that I should be doing, but just can't seem to find the will to do them. I'm spinning my tires and not getting anywhere. I'm stuck in the "muck". Not saying I hit bottom and can't get out of bed and progress threw my day... I can accomplish that. It's the "other" stuff.

Hopefully I'll find some boards to throw under my spinning tires. Not sure when, how, or where. But it will happen. It just takes time. In the meantime, my housework falls further behind and the laundry continues to pile up.

If ya see a couple extra boards sitting around will ya throw em my way?

Thanks

Jen

Friday, April 15, 2005 6:55 AM CDT

Hello Everyone,

It's official... I am another yr older today. I am now the same age as Chad was when he passed away... 32.

The kids are doing great. I am wonderful. Spring has sprung, and the 4 wheelers are once again attacking my driveway. I rebolted the other day and put up snow fencing across it, so they can't jump it anymore. They retaliatied by stealing my daycare sign!!! So now the old one is back up. It's still there this morning, so hopefully it will be the end of it. I expected them to cut the fence... and I think they tried.. but when that didn't work, they decided my sign had to be next. Oh well.. don't stress over the things you can't control. In fact I kind of got a chuckle out of it.

Have a great weekend everyone,

Jen

Thursday, March 31, 2005 10:10 AM CST

A friend of mine that lost her husband a few months before I lost Chad wrote something that hit me to the core today. I hope she doesn’t mind that I made a few changes to it and posted it to you all here. It is truly how she and I have learned to live our lives and how they have changed. Thank you Kat for being “real”.

Jen’s “rules” to live by:

DON’T be afraid to mention my husbands’ name. His name is music to my ears and I can never talk about him enough. Don’t think that because we have lost a loved one that the mention of their name brings pain; it does not. We only have memories and it helps to know that you remember and miss the person too. We are so afraid they will be forgotten.

DON’T tell me you know how I feel; you do not. Unless you have lost your spouse to death you have no way of understanding the loneliness and pain. Please do not equate it with the loss of your parent, relative or the family pet. While divorce is painful, your changes are a result from personal decisions and you may look forward to starting over, to being happier than you were in your relationship. We are not looking for the “fun we had been missing”. I on the other hand am looking for something I have lost. I want to love again. I want to feel safe again, and more than anything I want my children to have a father again.

DON’T be a woman who allows her spouse to handle all the affairs. The day will come when you will need to know where your assets are, the numbers of all your accounts and policies, mortgage deeds, and the thousands of other bits of information you must produce when a spouse dies. Be part of your finances and of the business of your family now, not when a tragedy forces you to start digging for all the papers you will inevitably need.

DO allow yourselves silences by simply telling us you don’t know what to say. It is so much better than stammering through a litany of “appropriate” condolences. They make you sound less than sincere and the canned remarks hurt. And no, I’m not “over this yet”; think before you say something this um, er, hmm . . . stupid.

DO understand that the smallest things, those things that seem so insignificant to you, can hold powerful memories for us. It is not living in pity for myself, it is simply sorrow and sadness. I miss my husband down to the core of what is left of my heart. If tears make you uncomfortable or if you feel the need to tell me to “pull myself together” then please, stay away. On the other hand if you see me in tears don’t be afraid to say “it’s ok”, or to give me a hug. It’s not often I let myself fall apart in public and for that reason a lot of you think I am “flying” threw this with no problems or may have loved Chad less. NOT TRUE. I have my days just like anyone else does.

DO get a grip on your own life! For heavens sake, make sure you have life insurance. If you don’t, get it. If you have it, increase it. I will continue to say – money can’t bring back the person you love but it buys your family time, gives your children time to heal while keeping the remaining parent home to help them along, and helps you sleep at night knowing your mortgage can be paid for another month. It’s not “benefiting” - taking on a family to raise alone, worrying about rejoining the work force (or if she’s already working finding either a second job or another job that pays more to make up for your lost income), trying to take care of a house, a yard, home repairs, homework, insurance, car maintenance, her family, YOUR family, college tuition, retirement, funeral costs. . . The costs go on and on, and if you can help out on that in the worst time of the surviving spouses life, then do it.

DO have a will! I’ll say it again . . . DO have a will! Make sure you have power of attorney on each other, and durable power of attorney. And have a living will. Sitting in a chair outside of ICU in the hospital is not the time to start wondering what your spouses wishes would be upon their death. I was so blessed that we had taken care of those decisions and had discussed over the years what would bring us peace.

DO understand that your circle of friends will change – be prepared. Some friends will drop you. Like a divorce you are an uncomfortable reminder of what could happen to them and they don’t know what to do with you now; you’re that “extra wheel” without a partner. Many friendships you enjoyed as a couple change. Don’t take it personally even though it hurts. People’s intentions I believe are good, but they have to get on with their lives while you are piecing yours back together and many times the two simply don’t work in harmony.

Don’t worry about next year, next month, next week or even tomorrow. Focus on today, just get through the next hour and work your way up from there. Like raising kids, no one gave us the handbook on this part of our life. Instead you’re dropped into it and told to make it up as you go along and, with a few general rules to start you off, just do the best that you can. Develop strong fingernails for hanging on, thick skin for navigating hurtful remarks and a place in your heart where you can go when it all gets to be too much. I cannot promise you life will ever be the same, it most certainly will not. But I can promise you, you will get up in the morning and slowly work your way toward a different life, an odd metamorphosis of carrying what you knew as true into what you are given in the new day. It’s tough, but hang on.

Kat’s and I’s lives are very different and yet in so many ways the same. She is “older” than I. Her child is grown, I struggle to raise 2 little ones. She can’t imagine starting life over, and I was TOLD by Chad to do just that. She has struggled emotionally, and financially, I have struggled emotionally just have not been as open about it, and financially… well we all knew Chad and the planner he was. I’m not rich and won’t have the grandest things… but will make it threw alright.

As I have said for the past who knows how many yrs now… Life changes. It’s up to us to keep up with it, or get lost in the dust of it all. I would like to think I am keeping up, and doing well. But there are those days when I just sink into the “mud” and can’t seem to get out.

To anyone else going threw the same situation as I… I give this advice: Keep your head up, and keep looking ahead. Eventually a light does come at the end of the tunnel. That doesn’t mean that you will “get over” your pain and agony, it just means you will learn to deal with it. One day at a time it does get easier and easier.

Monday, March 28, 2005 3:57 PM CST

Another week gone.

Kiah had me a little emotional yesterday. During church she started in on missing Daddy. Asking if he was hurt and in pain. I tried to reassure her that when Daddy became an Angel all his owwies went away and he no longer hurt.

Needless to say though she had herself and I in tears. It's so hard for her to understand. I am actually kind of surpised that she remembers him. But we talk about him as if he were still here and do it daily, so maybe that is why.

Hope everyone had a good easter,

Jen

Monday, March 21, 2005 11:23 AM CST

Life is busy. This past weekend the kids went to Mom and Dad's far me. I had a Childcare conference here in Bemidji that I was a part of. So that was fri evening, all day sat and then sun I had to get the kids back. They got to go bowling on sat and do birthday's.

This week is going to be a whirlwind as well. I have the week off to be with my own kids. Today we will see the dentist and Dr's for yr checkups. And tonight Kiah has dance. Tue I have a board meeting. Wed Kiah will go to her daycare and it will give Tate and I some time together. Thur. we are doing pictures and Tate has sylvan that evening. Fri C.J. goes in to get groomed at 8 and we will be leaving when she gets done to head down to my parents. They have found a sitter for me and we are going to go to the Kenny Chesney concert in Fargo. And then Sat and Sun is easter. So the week will go by fast.

I seem to be loosing my decorating touch. I still have my snowmen up and haven't even thought about getting out the Easter stuff. Tate called me from my Mom and Dad's on Fri to tell me I should get it out. I told him I would wait till he was home to help me. So at some point this week I HAVE to get that done. Otherwise I am afraid my snowmen may be out till next yr.

Have a great week everyone and a very happy Easter,

Jen

Monday, March 14, 2005 12:54 AM CST

I received this in the mail the other day and wanted to share.

SAFELY HOME

I am home in Heaven, dear ones;
Oh, so happy and so bright!
There is perfect joy and beauty
In this everlasting light.

All the pain and grief is over,
Every restless tossing passed;
I am now at peace forever,
Safely home in Heaven at last.

Did you wonder I so calmly
Trod the valley of the shade?
Oh! but Jesus' love illumined
Every dark and fearful glade.

And He came Himself to meet me
In that way so hard to tread;
And with Jesus' arm to lean on,
Could I have one doubt or dread?

Then you must not grieve so sorely,
For I love you dearly still:
Try to look beyond earth's shadows,
Pray to trust our Father's Will.

There is work still waiting for you,
So you must not idly stand;
Do it now, while life remaineth-
You shall rest in Jesus' land.

When that work is all completed,
He will gently call you Home;
Oh, the rapture of that meeting,
Oh, the joy to see you come!

Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:40 AM CST

Hello Everyone,

Things here progress as we learn what the "new normal" is. Several of you know that Tate has been struggling in school. I enrolled him in Sylvan this week. He will be going Tue and Thur nights for 1 hr and Sat's for 2 hrs. They will be working with him on both reading and math. He is very excited about it. I hope it continues and we are able to get him back "up to speed" with his class.

Kiah is doing well. She is her usual spunky self. She is still enjoying dance and has a recital coming up on April 18th. That will also mark the end of dance for the summer. I know she is going to miss it.

I am doing well. This last weekend my family(Mom, Dad, Jamie and her fam, Kev, the kids and I) and stayed over night at the hunting shack near Itasca. Now for those of you that don't know... this is a shack with no running water, no indoor plumbing, and about 14x24, with one bedroom and a loft. There was 10 of us in all. It was a fun time of slideing and snowmobiling. We got home Sat evening and the kids were beat. What am I saying.. I was beat as well. I think by 8 that night we ALL were in bed.

Think spring!!! I can't wait to be able to get back outside on the deck with the daycare kids.

Jen

Thursday, February 24, 2005 2:10 PM CST

Today's a milestone for me personally. Alot of you know, but some don't, that I had Gastric bypass surgery. Today is one yr from my surgery. I have lost a total of 115lbs and feel incredible.

When Chad went into full remission the spring of o3 we talked about me having the surgery. I made the appointment that summer before he relapsed. He relapsed within weeks after I made the appointment for Jan of 04. I almost canceled it, but Chad told me not to. We went the next 6 months dealing with his cancer. A week before he passed I again told him maybe I should cancel and he told me no. So I didn't. On Jan 19th I went for my consult and had to meet with SEVERAL dr's including a phycologist and dietician. I can still remember the physcologist asking me "what kind of stress do you have in your life?" And my response? "Where would you like me to start? I just lost my husband 2 weeks ago to cancer." Of course her mouth dropped and asked me what in the world I was doing in her office. I went on to explain that this was something I had wanted to do for the past 2 yrs, but I couldn't because of Chad. And I also must of made a good impression because by the end I can rememeber her telling me I was a remarkable person and ok'd me for the surgery.

On Feb 24th 04 I had surgery. I had many people express their concerns and worries. And I maintained my strength that I had an extra angel above and that nothing would happen to me. I flew threw the surgery with no problems, and have continued on that path. I have had blood tests recently where I purposely stopped taking my vitamins because I wanted to know how much my body was absorbing on it's own... Everything came back normal!! I have since begun taking them again, because I know how important it is, but I also know now that my body can do it on it's own. I am exercising daily. I can now do 4.2 miles in 20 min on my elliptical machine. When I bought that "torture machine"(as I used to call it) I couldn't make it 5 min without feeling as though I would collapse.

I can honestly say having the surgery has been one of the best things I have ever done for myself. It's not for everyone and I have talked to several groups in the past yr about just that. The pros and cons of this surgery, and being mentally ready for the life style change that goes with it.

I am now the Mom I have wanted to be for the last 7 yrs. I can't say enough about all the positive changes it has made in me. I wanted to share this with you all a yr ago, but desided it wasn't appropriate at the time. Now a yr later, I feel you all need to know that I am doing well.

Jen

Thursday, February 17, 2005 8:24 AM CST

I want to share this great news that I received this morning:

Stehlin reported today that tumor samples from two different DSRCT
patients have been implanted on to nude mice. This is a monumental
achievement because these are the first two.

With sarcomas, there is no guarantee that they will grow. If they
do grow on the backs of the mice, they always grow slow. Stehlin
implanted a Ewings sarcoma tumor a while back and it still has not
grown. Maybe we will see a result in six weeks or so.

If the tumors do grow, the patients will receive some printouts on
what drugs might have the best chance to work. I will post a sample
report on the web site in the next day or so.

Many many thanks to the two patients who helped out the entire DSRCT
community by donating their tumors !!!!!! This data will be helping
out DSRCT patients in the years to come.

Some nude mice that already have DSRCT tumors growing on them are
hopefully on the way to Stehlin soon. Shimoda-Atlantic, the Xenavex
manufacturer, has purchased some in Japan and will donate them to
Stehlin. The big problem is getting them OUT of Japan. Customs red
tape is keeping us from advancing our research.

This is absolutely wonderfull news!!! This is the progress we need to find a cure for DSRCT. This will be a very long process and will take YEARS in finding, but it's a start!!!

Monday, February 14, 2005 9:55 AM CST

Happy Valentine's Day-

Things here are going fine and normal. It's amazing how fast time goes. The sun is shining and it's been in in the 30's for the past week. It feels like spring is here... Although tomorrow is only sposse to be 18. It sure helps to keep everyone cheerfull and happy. My driveway is lake though. I sure hope the ground begins to thaw soon and it can soak in. Could be a mess otherwise.

Not much else to say. Michaela(the little one I have asked prayers for) was extubated a few days ago and is doing well!!!! Thank God. She still has a long road in front of her, but at least her parents are able to hold her again.

Think spring-

Jen

Friday, January 28, 2005 11:16 AM CST

I've heard this a few times in the car, but never have remembered to post it. I love this song. It has become one of my favorites.

REBA MCENTIRE - He Gets That From Me

His early mornin' attitude
You have to drag him out of bed
Only frosted flakes will do
He gets that from me
Yeah,he gets that from me

His curly hair and his knobby knees
The way the sun brings those freckles out
Talk and talk never miss a beat
Yeah,he gets that from me
He gets that from me

He looks at me with those big brown eyes
He's got me in the palm of his hands
And I swear sometimes
It's just like you're here again
He smiles that little crooked smile
There's no denying he's your child
Without him I don't know what I'd do
He gets that from you
Oh,he gets that from you

How he loves your old guitar
Yeah,he's taught himself to play
He melts my heart
Tells me he love me every day
And cracks jokes at the perfect time
Makes me laugh when I want to cry
That boy is everything to me
He gets that from you
He gets that from you

Last night I heard him pray
Lord,help me and mama make it through
And tell daddy we'll be okay
He said he sure misses you
He sure misses you
He really misses you
He gets that from me

Wednesday, January 26, 2005 2:47 PM CST

Hello Everyone,

Well we made it. We made it threw the bitter cold of Jan. Knock on wood, so far we have also avoided the flu and colds. The kids have had a couple runs of coughs, but overall healthy. Had a scare this past week. One of my daycare families has got the flu, but we seemed to have missed it.

We have shoveled ourselves out of the 14inches of snow we have gotten in the past week. I actually got the 4wheeler stuck for the first time. In my own yard of all places!!! Oh well, at least I didn't have far to go with the shovel!!!

Life goes on as normal. One day at a time. I have learned to replace my own mailbox. Had the last one taken out by a car last week. In the 7 yrs we have lived in this house we have replaced 5 mailboxes. But this was the first one to do by myself. I have learned to be independent. I have learned I can do it by myself, I just have to put my head into it and stop saying I can't. One task at a time. One step at a time.

I had always thought of myself as being an independent, self sufficiant person, but until being put to the test of the past yr you never really knew. I now know. I CAN do this on my own. I can be the Mom I want to be. I CAN fix it, make it better, and do it myself!!! Wow... what a revelation. I feel like Super Mom when I think of all the things that I have had to endure and overcome the past yrs, expecially this past yr on my own. Until you really stop and think about it, you take it for granted. It's just another thing you do. My self esteem has grown with the weight lose. And I no longer think "what am I gong to do?" I know I can do it.

I need to put another request out there for little Michaela. She is still struggling to hold onto life. Everyday holds new and challenging demands on her little body. Please pray she stay infection free and the little steps they are taking on the ventilator will all pay off.

Jen

Friday, January 14, 2005 2:25 PM CST

The cold month of Jan. is here. And it has begun to be just that. We have gotten lots of snow and the snowmobiles are running in front of the house on a regular basis.

Things here are normal. The kids are doing well, no colds or flu. Life has gone back to the normalness that we had gotten used to before christmas. Mon Kiah has dance, Tue I usually have something to do with the association, Wed the kids have kids club at church, Thur Tate has boy scouts although not every week, and that leaves Fri, usually we are going to a BSU basketball game. So life is hectic and yet we are having fun. The weeks roll by one at a time and I can honestly say that now that all the "firsts" are over and that 1 yr mark of Chad's death has come and gone, life is easier. I feel a calm about me. I no longer feel like I have someone looking over my shoulder to make sure I am doing everything right and at the right time. Life will be what it will be.

I learned very well over the past 3 1/2 yrs to live life one day at a time and never take for granted tomorrow. To live your life to make the kids and I happy. That you can never count on tomorrow being there, so don't waste today. I like living this way. I am happy. I don't regret anything because I never wait to do it later.

Last month at our association meeting we always do a holiday charity auction. This year we decided to donate the money to a fellow provider who had lost everything in a fire not long before. On Wed of this week(being the prez of the association) I got to deliver that check to this family. It was so rewarding and gratifing to see the look of hope, suprise, and gratefullness in this gals eyes. It's a look I had known well. Over the years many people had helped us out. And to be on the other end of that was a great feeling.

At the moment another fellow provider is going threw a heart wrenching time. Her 2yr old was transported to Fargo for influenza with major complications. She is still in very critical care. I wish for you all to say a prayer for her. I know first hand how prayer is such a wonderfull and needed thing. That it CAN perform miracles. So please say a prayer for little Michaela.

Life can change in the blink of an eye. So don't take it for granted. Don't leave off calling that friend who you haven't heard from, from telling your loved ones you love them, from going out with that family member or friend because your to busy. Make time. Make time to be happy. Life is to short.

Jen

Saturday, January 1, 2005 6:59 PM CST

12/2/04- NEW PICS UP!!!

Hello Everyone,

Things here are well. We had a good christmas and left on the 26th to go skiing in Red Lodge Montana for 3 days. We skied the 27th, 28th, and 29th and came home on the 30th in the yucky weather. But I can't complain, we had gorgeous weather while we were out there perfect for playing in the snow for 3 days. The kids both learned how to ski. Kiah was just to dang cute in her skies. I had been wanting to take the kids skiing, and during the christmas break was the perfect time to do it. It gave us some time to just be together and have fun.

I hope everyone has a great new year.

Jen

Tuesday, December 21, 2004 11:01AM CST

http://www.photoshow.net/scripts_main/build/player.php?show=nVEhHQLud
This is a page to a show that one of the gals made of our trip to Hawaii. Thought I would share.

Sunday, December 19, 2004 3:54 PM CST

I received an early Christmas present today... From Chad. Last yr he was at a craft show(with my Mom) when he found these and told my Mom that we should have them... maybe not that Christmas, But that we should have them. It is a silver ornament that says Merry Christmas From Heaven above and below with "I love you all dearly now don't shed a tear, Cause I'm spending my Christmas with Jesus this year" on it. The kids and I each received our own, engraved with Chad's personal thoughts. Below is the poem that came with the ornament.

Merry Christmas From Heaven

I still hear the songs
I still see the lights
I still feel your love
on cold wintery nights

I still share you hopes
and all of your cares
I'll even remind you
to please say your prayers

I just want to tell you
you still make me proud
You stand head to shoulders
above all the crowd

Keep trying each moment
to stay in His grace
I came here before you
to help set your place

You don't have to be
perfect all the time
He forgives you the slip
If you continue the clinb

To my family and friends
please be thankful today
I'm still close beside you
in a new special way

I love you dearly
now don't shed a tear
Cause I'm spending my
Christmas with Jesus this year

By John Wm. Mooney Jr.

If any of you are interested there is a website that is available www.MerryChristmasFromHeaven.com

Jen

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 9:36 AM CST

ALOHA everyone,

I am back. Of course coming home to 0 temps... I was ready to run away again!!! I had a great time, and a much needed break for me. I am rejuvinated and ready to work and care for my own kids again.

I had several signs from Chad while on my trip. One was on a helicoptor tour. As we were flying around looking at things, there right to the left of me was the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen. I immediatly got chills and tears in my eyes. I KNEW Chad was there with me. I could feel him and could feel his arms around me. It is something I will NEVER forget. I did get a picture of it, but it doesn't do it justice.

Never doubt that the loved one you have lost is not with you. I have received a couple christmas cards already telling me how much they miss Chad. And that this christmas will be a hard one for them because of his death on that day. I want to ask each one of you not to think of it as a loss. I look at it as if what a better day for Chad to meet the Lord and be happy and not in pain anymore than on the Lord's birthday!!! To me there is no better day to met the Lord. The Lord received a very special present that day. And I know the 2 of them are talking about the Vikings(of which I have asked Chad several times if he could do something about) and Jeeps. Take faith in the Lord and to you all things will come. We put our faith in him yrs ago and I will continue to.

Jen

Monday, November 29, 2004 2:45 PM CST

I hope everyone had a wonderfull Thanksgiving. Ours was busy visiting with family.

This next week will be a fast one and then on Sun I fly out to Hawaii. The 2 girls I am going with and I are all getting very excited and can't wait to ditch this cold weather for a pair of shorts and a tshirt. Kiah and C.J. will be going to Mom and Dad's and Tate will be going to Ann and Alan's. I do have someone that will be checking on the house and getting my mail for me while I am gone.

A girlfriend I have wrote about before just updated her page as well. It's amazing the similarities and differences that she and I have had to deal with in the past yr. She is having a hard time moving on and is getting grief about it from some of her friends and I seem to have moved on just fine with life and I get grief about that as well. It's amazing how everyone judges each other. I think that as much as it is human nature to judge a person... it is also the WORST thing anyone can do. I know I used to judge a mom in the store with her 2 kids if I didn't see a ring on her finger... Now I get those same looks and judgments.

If there is one thing I would wish you all to do this season is to look inside yourselves and figure out what is really important in your life and find out if you are really taking it for granted or truely appreciating what you have. To not look at other people and judge them for what they wear, look like, color of their skin, or anything else. But to really get to know the person and then decide for yourself who that person REALLY is.

Monday, November 15, 2004 10:13 AM CST

Things here are a little better. I am still putting one foot in front of the other. I started putting up the christmas lights outside last weekend. It was both fun and hard. I found it difficult to say the least with how my emotions have been and still are. I still haven't gotten them up on the house and not sure I will. I just don't know if I have the will-power, strength, or willingness to do it. Call it what you will. It was hard enough to do the bushes and things, yet alone crawling on the house. Any other yr I am right up there and getting it done first. But for some reason this yr it is a task and the fun just isn't there. But at the same time I want things to be "normal" for the kids.

A girlfriend this last weekend told me that nothing in my life is "normal" anymore. And the more I think about it the more she is right. As much as I have tried and tried to keep things "normal" it all ends up upside down and inside out. I have to learn what "normal" is again. I have to learn a new way of "normal". How do you do that? How do you take everything you have ever known and redo it to make it "normal" once again? It's like someone taking a piece of paper and cruppling it up and then I have to come back and smooth it out and make it "normal". It never will be the same piece of paper. It will always have creases and wrinkles in it. And no matter how much I try it will never be that same piece of paper that it once was. Mine and my children's lives have been cruppled like that paper. For the past yr I have been trying with all my might to get the wrinkles out. Maybe some of the wrinkles I have to learn to live with? Maybe a crumpled or torn edge that I just can't fix? How do I learn to live with it? I have always "fixed" it. I am a Mom. It's what we are best at. Mom's fix boo boo's, owies, scratchs and scrapes, and broken hearts. Mom's put smiles back on their kid's faces. It's our job to make everything better.

Jen

Tuesday, November 9, 2004 11:36 AM CST

Life seems to be catching up to me today. I am once again finding myself falling deep into a hole and not able to crawl out. I know I'll get threw it, as I have in the past, but I hate when I can feel myself starting to loose control and don't know how to stop it. I am supposed to be able to handle everything. I am supposed to be strong and be able to stand on my own 2 feet. I don't want to break. I don't want to loose it. To loose it means I have lost control. As a single parent I can't loose it. When I break down, so does the family structure. If I fall apart so does everything in the kids's lives. They need the structure. They need consistancy.

How am I going to get threw the next weeks? How am I going to get threw the day? Or the next hour? I just want to crawl into bed and not come out. It's not easy for me to put these feelings into words. To do so shows weakness. It shows that I don't have everything under control. It shows the grief overtaking me and I don't want pity. It's why I don't ask for help. To ask for help means that I can't do it myself. I have always done everything. I never have turned down a challenge. I have always been stubborn and tough enough to "do it myself".

Right now I don't want to be a Mom, Daycare provider, Parent, Enforcer, Teacher, or anything with any responsibility. I just want to run. I want to run away from life.

What sent me spirling down into the depths that I have reached? I don't know. I am just going to knock it up to a bad day. Hopefully I will be able to make it hour by hour threw the day and tomorrow I can wake up a new additude and new way of thinking.

Jen

Tuesday, November 2, 2004 10:17 AM CST

Hello Everyone,

Things here are going ok. Tate has been having a few issues lately in school. I talked to his psychologist this morning and she's thinking it has to do with the 1yr anniversary coming up. She is going to work harder to get to meet with him the next couple months while there is so much time off from school.

Deer hunting this weekend. Then it's 2 weekends off and then Thanksgiving and the next week I leave for Hawaii. It's coming up so fast. I am going to have to work hard to get my christmas shopping done before I leave, cause I don't get back from that till the 13th. Also have to get the lights up on the house and the yard decorated the 2 weekends I have.

Jen

Tuesday, November 2, 2004 10:17 AM CST

Tuesday, October 19, 2004 9:22 AM CDT

Hello Everyone,

The Days Go On-

One day into the next. It's amazing how fast it goes. Only 9 Weeks to Christmas. The next 3 weekends will be busy. Then it's 2 off and then Thanksgiving. And then only another 2 weeks and I leave for Hawaii taking up 2 weekends. Then its work for another week and then off for Christmas. The next few weeks will go so fast. I have already been thinking and planning Christmas. Trying to get some shopping done. And starting to enjoy the time of the yr. I really haven't even let the thought of Chad's passing on christmas day come into my thoughts. I know it will, but for now I just want to enjoy the season as I always have. I want the kids to enjoy it.

As I have been saying for the past yr. Life goes on. And you can't let it pass you by or you'll get lost in the grief. All I can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other and not look into the future, but look at today. Ours lives are so busy right now, that I have no choice but to look at today and not tomorrow. Between dance, the childcare association, boy scouts (Thank you to Miss and Joff for taking this task on with Tate), church, daycare, and anything else that needs to get done, every day and evening is filled with something. It's rare you will find me home in the evening at least until after 8 when the kids are getting ready for bed. And then if it's association related it can be even later for me. It's been good to be busy. I'm not complaining. But until you've had to play the single parent role and do it all by yourself you can't understand what it's like. Expecially being completely on your own without having grandma and grandpa's or someone to call on to help you out.

Jen

Friday, October 1, 2004 10:20 AM CDT

10/7/04- New Pics up!!!

Not Ready Yet-

Just when I think life has closed a chapter and a new one is beginning, I get thrown into the past again.

Last weekend we had the dedication of Chad's cross at church. Of course emotions were high and many tears were shed. Pastor wanted me to talk, but I knew I wouldn't be able to. Ann did it for me. I find myself hidding behind the wall I have built. Not wanting to show the emotion, not wanting pity, having to be strong and tough. It's how I have gotten threw the past 9 months. "sucking it up". I know there is no way to forget Chad and not that I want to. But I find myself trying to put it behind me and telling myself "Your stronger than this". And in reality there is a deep dark hole inside me that I seem to fall into when the lights go out at night, after the kids are in bed, and the silence and coldness of the bed engolf me. I miss having him next to me in bed. I miss his arms around me, I miss his backrubs. I can deal with the everyday things ok. This was a guy who worked 50-60 hrs a week. I rarely saw him during the day the way it was. But it's the nights that will send me reeling into the depths of grief.

And the kids have their own way of dealing with the loss of Chad. I had made a screensaver for the PC after he passed. It was a picture one. I had went threw our pictures over the yrs and every few seconds would flip to a new one. This past week I removed it without thinking anything of it. Not knowing the kids actually still looked at it. Last night as Tate was headed to bed I got asked where Daddy's pictures went. I told him I would put them back up and he said to me "Good Mom cause I would cry in the morning if I couldn't see Daddy." I had gotten so caught up in my own little world I hadn't even taken the kids into consideration when I changed it. I expect them to deal with it like I have and I have to remember they are only children and will do things on their own time table.

So the grief is still with us. Each one of us dealing with it in our own way. As only each one of us can.

Jen

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 9:24 AM CDT

NEW PICS ARE UP!!!

WOW!!!

Sorry it has been so long since I updated. Didn't realize time has flown by so fast. Tate has started school and is loving every day of it. I enrolled Kiah in Dance class and she is absolutly in her element. She can't wait to go each week.

Getting back into an everyday groove has been good for us. The summer was great to have off, but I think the kids were ready for some structure. It's been good for me as well. It keeps me busy and my mind occupied. I currently have a 2month, 5month, 14month, and 17month all day everyday and we also don't want to forget Kiah.

Emotionally I have been doing ok. I ahve had a few rough nights. I think between Chad's birthday, the Threshing Bea, and the memorial this coming weekend it has been hard, but I'm dealing with it. I'm ok as long as I don't have things "hitting me in the face". But on each turn lately I've been getting "hit" by another reminder it's not been easy. But on the other hand, I continue to trudge threw each day because I know it's not going to do me any good to crash.

I had a friend the other day tell me I was the strongest person she has ever known. I told her life is like a roller coaster. As long as you hang on and go for the ride your doing good. It's when you decide you want to get off in the middle that will throw ya for the loop. Life has ups and downs just like a roller coaster. When the dips come along just hang on and remember that with each dip it will have to turn up again. And as long as it's headed uphill, enjoy that time to the fullest, because sooner or later there will be another dip or loop to overcome.

Sat night will be filled with highs and lows. It will be the night of our church's pitchfork fondue picnic. It's a great time and fun had by all. But then later in the evening we will also be doing the dedication of chad's memorial. I know that during that time the emotions and feelings will hit me like a brick wall. I'm not sure if the dedication will be a sweet or sorrow time. On one hand it is the "last" thing to do in Chad's honor and the last "thing" to get done. On the other it is an end to a chapter in my life. I know Chad will be watching and looking over us that night. And I know he will continue to give me the strength that I have had for the past 9 months. Now if he could just use his influence on those Vikings.

Jen

Sunday, August 29, 2004 4:21 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,

Tomorrow would have been Chad's 33rd birthday. I really hadn't thought to much about it till someone mentioned the other day about having something to do on the 30th. And I thought to myself "30th??? What is on the 30th???" And it dawned on me. It's those little things that I know I will remember the rest of my life. I was talking to a friend the other day and thinking about the "old" days. They were telling me about how you can be going about your "normal" day and all of a sudden something will spark a memory and the next thing ya know the tears are flowing. This happens to me alot. But at the same time I have learned to smile at those memories. This person also told me about just the other day, 9 months after Chad's passing, they almost picked up the phone to dial our number to talk to Chad and then remembered he wouldn't be here on the other end. Grief hits us all in a way no one can explain. It hits us all different and at diferent times. A friend I have never met, but that is also going threw the loss of her husband wrote-

"Grief is a very personal journey. It consumes an amazing amount of energy, it is work. And it is deceiving, sneaking up on you when you thought it was controlled, and jumping on your back when you least expect it. You develop defense mechanisms, because to lose the ability to cope is dangerous. Being able to cope is all that gets us out of bed in the morning, and the only thing that keeps the grief from sucking out what little energy remains in us. In other words, it is all tied in together and we live with the effects on a daily basis. The familiar has been part of my coping, trying to stay within a certain center that won't throw me off."

This phase sums up so much that couldn't be put in a better way. I would never wish for anyone to be going threw the grief process as I am. But it happens to most of us. Unless you are the one that leaves this earth first, the "other half" of the marriage that was has to deal with it. I truely beleive that God doesn't give you more than you can handle and that he only tests you to make you stronger for an even tougher test. Is it wrong of me to not want to be stronger? Is it bad that I say I could of made it threw my life just fine without having to go threw this loss? But then on the other hand I think of all the things I have learned by going threw this process. I have learned to take each day for what it is and not to wait for tomorrow because it may not come. I have learned to love in a way that is deeper and more true than even I had thought possible. And I have learned that I AM strong enough to stand on my own two feet and continue on with life. These are things that I don't know if I would have learned without going threw this loss. And for that I thank God. Because my life is much richer, and means more to me now.

Jen

Monday, August 16, 2004 7:41 PM CDT

Hello everyone,

I am enjoying a few min of peace and quiet. The kids are in VBS from 5:30-8:30 threw thur. I froze 7 dozen ears of corn today. So I should be set for the winter. Daycare starts back up next Thur. It's amazing to think I have been off work for 3 months. It has went to fast. But at the same time I am excited to hold those babies again.

Cross your fingers and say a prayer. Chad's memorial SHOULD be on Sunday. It's been rescheduled twice now. I should know for sure Thur evening.

Jen

Monday, August 2, 2004 10:55 AM CDT

Life is busy. The end of August here I will begin daycare up again. Until then we have VBS, and appointments that will keep us moving.

I have made a decision to sell the camper. As much fun as it has been this summer it has also been alot of work keeping up 2 places. I can also use the money for other things. So if you hear of anyone looking for a camper with bunks send them my way.

I want to again encourage you all to take a few min and post something about Chad on the guestbook. I noticed that I still am getting alot of hits to the page, but only 2-3 people posted anything.

My emotions are a little more in check lately. But I think I have learned to find that happy medium and to ask for help when I need it. I guess I have a bad case of the oldest child syndrom. I tend to be independent, stubborn, and want to control everything. LOL. Boy, which side of the family do I get that from??? LOL.

Jen

Thursday, July 22, 2004 10:26 AM CDT

Hello Everyone,

I had this idea a while ago and want to pass it on to you all. I want to encourage you all to take a few moments and go to the guestbook and write down any special moments you remember about Chad. Whether good, bad, funny, sad, or just Chad being Chad.

These notes will all be compiled for the kids to look back on and know who their Dad was. Let's take a moment to do something for them that will mean so much to them as they get older. Something that without your help, I can not do alone. I was with Chad for 15 yrs... but I know there were many thing that he did "behind my back". LOL. Or before my time.

Life here goes on. Good days and bad. The bad are far and few, but hen they hit it's like a mack truck broadsiding you at full bore. The emotions and the feeling overwelm you like nothing I can describe. Like I told a friend last week, they end up being pity party's for myself. About having to be a single mom raising 2 small kids by myself, Having to do everything by myself and not having anyone to lean on in the time of need. I am sure this happens to everyone who has been in my situation whether they loose them at 32 or 82... Some of the people that said they would always be there for me have disappeared. Whether it's because they can't stand the hurt they feel by being with me without Chad because of to many memories, or just busy lives. They have lost touch with me and I now lean on a very few number of people that still stand beside me. I am not going to say it's been easy to stay in Bemidji by myself. I only have Chad's sister in town and her life is busier than mine. But being without the network of family does leave ya wondering somedays. Being with my children 24/7 day after day will drive even the most sane person crazy. And when you have those breakdowns and don't have someone to lean on makes it that much worse. When you don't have someone to call and say "I need a break". And then those few that you can count on you are afraid to keep bugging because you don't want to over burden them and stress the friendship. It's a catch 22 that I am trying to master. But life will go on, and I will get threw it. And hopefully some of the people that I miss the most will find they have lost touch with me and make that call to say hi and how can I help.

Jen

Tuesday, July 6, 2004 10:07 AM CDT

Hello Everyone,

I hope you all had a great 4th. I was down at the family lake cabin for a few days. Was great to get to see everyone again.

I also went by the gravesite and tok a pic of it. I will try and get it posted today for all of you to far away to visit it for yourselves. It really did turn out nice.

I took the kids down to the waterfront on the evening of the 4th. They had a great time ridding rides.

What's up with this weather? I take the summer off and it's been cold, rainy, and icky. I want HEAT!!! LOL. But the kids and I arn't letting it get us down. We are still having a great time.

I am seriously thinking about shutting this site down. Now that Chad has been gone for 6 months I find myself updating less and less. Not because it hurts to do so. But because I guess as I have been saying life goes on. I do have to say though I still check for new guestbook entries almost daily. So we will see. Before I shut it down I would like to get in touch with someone to transfer all of chad's info to another site so that maybe it can help someone else with DSRCT. I know the person to ask, just need to do it. I also will print each and every journal entry and guestbook entry so some day when the kids want to, they can read about the last 3 yrs. I will need a couple reams of paper and 2 or 3 ink cart. LOL.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Friday, June 25, 2004 8:17 AM CDT

6 months-

Today is a day mixed with emotions. I woke up and it was the first thing I thought of and of course the tears started. I don't cry when I think of the good times. I start to cry when I think of the last few weeks Chad was with us. Knowing now how much pain he was in. Ya see at the time Chad kept me protected from the pain. He had a journal that he wrote in. It wasn't until after his death that I read that and really knew how much he was hurting. But just like the great husband he was, he didn't want me to worry and stress anymore than I already was. So when the tears flow it's because I now know how much hurt he was in.

I can look back at pictures and the good times and laugh and smile with the kids. The tears don't flow then. Do I miss Chad? Of course, But I also have the realization that I can't wish him back. And I have to believe that God has a reason for everything. God never gives you more than you can handle. And when he closes one door, he always opens another. That other door has opened. A chapter in my life that includes being a single mom. A chapter that is all new to me. But if God thinks I can handle it, I will take it on. I won't sit and mope about the could of's, should of's, or what if's. It won't do any good, and it won't make things any better. Instead I will take one step in front of the other. And I know when I have these low days that God is carrying me and helping me threw them. And it will get better. Just because I woke with tears today doesn't mean the whole day is ruined. You make each day. You yourself determine whether or not the sun is going to shine. And I desided it is going to shine. I won't sit under the dark cloud. The day will go on and I will go on with it.

This last week I took the big wooden toy box(that Chad's step dad made for the kids) and started putting Chad's things into it. Most his clothes are gone(except the special ones). But into the box has went the quilt that his grandmother made for us for our wedding, the wedding pictures that were on the walls in our bedroom, and the rest of the wedding things. His "play" room upstairs is still untouched. I took the box up there and will continue to put his things into it. Someday when the kids are old enough they will be able to go threw the things and pick out what they want from it. An 8x10 picture of Chad that was taken a few months before he passed has been hung on the family wall. That will stay there forever. The kids each have a picture of their dad in there rooms and will always have that. But as I have been saying for the past 6 months... Life goes on. It's time for my life to go on.

Jen

Monday, June 7, 2004 8:05 AM CDT

Good Morning Everyone,

What a nice weekend. The kids and I both got sun. Sat I took the kids over to Mohnomen to see Roy. He was over there team penning. I got to ride the horses as well which was fun. The kids and I had a great day. Sun we went to chuch and a church picnic. And then back to the camper to spend the day.

I have closed Daycare for the summer. Last Wed was my last day. I have enjoyed my time off so far. Being at the camper is so relaxing and laid back. The kids love it and are beat tired at the end of the day from being outside. It's also been good for the kids to be around guy's again. The owner, his son and a couple other people that are out here all summer have been great with the kids. That male perspective is so important for Tate.

Have a great week everyone,

Jen

Tuesday, June 1, 2004 1:30 PM CDT

What a weekend. Playin in the mud. We went out to the camper and spent the weekend. Pam and John came out and joined us. Even threw the rain and muck we had fun.

Chad's gravestone was put in place on Sat. I haven't seen it yet, but have been told it is very nice. The memorial at the church is also on it's way. For those of you that don't know... it is a stone cross that will sit in the center of the outdoor worship area. On it will be engraved "unshakeable faith".

Once the memorial is in place it will mark an end to the "things yet to do". There won't be anymore loose ends from Chad that need to be taken care of. That chapter in my life will truely be over. And a new one begins.

Jen

Wednesday, May 26, 2004 9:02 AM CDT

5 Months-

Chad has been gone for 5 months already. How time passes. Things here are good. My life has gone on. And life is as "normal" as can be. In fact some days I almost long for the busy schedule of the past 3 yrs. I'm not one to sit still and wait for things to happen. I tend to take things head on and do it myself. So with life slowing down there's days when I wonder what I should be doing next.

Daycare will be ending in a week. I am looking forward to spending the summer with my kids. Being able to just get up and go if I want.

Last weekend Mom and Dad took the kids for me. They took them to the gravesite and then to see Shrek2. As they sat down to watch the movie Tate put his hand on the arm rest and there was a penny. Mom said she quick searched the other arms and there were no more to be found. How appropriate that Tate would find one after just being at the gravesite. The gravestone still isn't in place. Hopefully it will go in soon.

Jen

Tuesday, May 18, 2004 7:10 AM CDT

What would have been:

Today would of been Chad and I's 8yr anniversary. At 5:00PM 8 yrs ago we were married. It was one of the happiest moments in my life. For better or worse, till death do us part. We lived that. There was no doubt in my brain when we got married that we would be married for life. Little did I know that that would only be 7 yrs. But the life we lived in those 7 yrs. We bought a house, we had 2 great kids, we started our life in a town where we knew no one. We lived our life to the fullest.

Those 7 yrs will be one that can never be replaced and never be forgotten. I will cherish each and every one of those days.

I will not sit and sulk and think of what would have been though. I will go on the way Chad asked me to. I will make my life and the kid's lives the best it possibly can be. A person can always sit and do the whatif's, and the I wishes. I refuse to do that. It will not make things better, and it won't help the kids any. Life throws unpredictible turns. This is just one more that I will win.

Tonight 2 of my girlfriends and there kids are taking us out to Mc'Ds to let the kids play. And to just get me out of the house so I am not sitting here thinking all night. It will be good girl time.

Do me a favor and hug your spouse or significant other. Remember that tomorrow they may not be there. Or you may not be here. No one can predict the future. Live your life for today and cherish each and every night you have to lay down next to your loved one.

Till next week,

Jen

Monday, May 10, 2004 7:40 PM CDT

Well I did it!!! Fri night we went out to the camper. I got it all set up by myself. It was a nice accomplishment and one more thing that I can say I did. For those of you that don't know... May 18th would have been Chad and I's anniversay. It would have been 8 yrs. At this point I am taking it very well. Not saying it hasn't been on my mind a few times, but over all I am doing well.

Back to the campground. Everyone out there was more than supportive this last weekend. One of the guys saw me and came up yelling "HAYYYY Super Mom!!!!" and continued to pick me up and spin me around while hugging me. The support I have received from everyone out there has been incredible. They let me set the camper up by myself, but at the same time were only a yell away if I needed them. I had several who literally didn't recognize me till I got up closer to them. And then of course applauded my efforts on my weight loss.

Mother's day went well. We got up early sun and went down to Mom and Dad's. We got back here about 5 last night.

Have a great week everyone.

Jen

Tuesday, May 4, 2004 10:30 AM CDT

Another week...

It's amazing how fast life passes you by. This coming weekend is the opening of Camping at the campground. Tate is more than excited. Only a month left of school as well. It's also mother's day on Sunday. I am sure I will be headed down to do that with the family on Sunday. Friday night I will be setting the camper up by myself. It will be a new thing for me. Not that I can't do it. As always... I will take on any challenge and beat it.

Last weekend I had the garage sale of all garage sales. It's something that Chad and I had planned on doing for years and just never got done. So it was a bitter sweet thing. It was a huge relief to ahve it done... but at the same time it was the last thing that we had really planned to do together. His hand writting was on some of the tags that had been priced from last fall. It was almost strange to see it.

For those of you that don't know... I have made some lifestyle changes in my life. I have been heavy most my life and desided that I needed to be happy and healthy for my kids. I have taken the steps to become the Mom I have always wanted to be. I have now lost 55lbs and am feeling great. I took Kiah to the Gym Bin last week and was up jumping on the trampoline and playing and being active like I never could have done before. It feels so good. I love being more active and even more so... my son said "Mom, your getting skinny". I only wish Chad was here to see it. Now before you all jump on me... Yes.. I know he knows. I know he is there and I know he can feel and sense what I am feeling. But I would love to be able to hear him. To be able to hear the compliments from the one person who meant so much in my life. But even still... I wouldn't trade this feeling for the world. I am so much happier. I am me again. For the past 15 yrs I have been stuck in a body that wouldn't let me do the things I wanted to. Now I can do ANYTHING I want. And why not... if I have to start life over... why not start it completely over.

Jen

Tuesday, April 27, 2004 8:52 AM CDT

NEW PICS ARE UP!!!

Living A Life That Matters
Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else. Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear. So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire. The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away. It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived, at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant. So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured? What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave. What will matter is not your success, but your significance. What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught. What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example. What will matter is not your competence, but your character. What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone. What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you. What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what. Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance, but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters.
Author Unknown

This was shared with me and thought you all might want to see it as well. The 4 month anniv. went well. In fact I didn't even get the chance to think about it until the evening. The kids and I went last night and had new family pictures taken. I will pick them up tonight and post them on here for you all. Tate had his 6yr pics taken at school, so we also did Kiah's 3yr last night.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004 1:01 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,

Another week gone. Sat will be 4 months since Chad passed. It seems so long ago already. The kids and I are doing fine. Tate is showing some emotional problems. His temper has been really short and quick. I have talked to the school and hopefully soon we can get something in place to meet with him a few times before school is out. We have the option of going during the summer as well. So we'll see where things go.

I gave the ok on Chad's gravestone. It should be in place by Memorial Day. They also were out and filled it with dirt and planted grass. My sister was out there yesterday and said it looks MUCH better. When I ordered the gravestone I had them put in a vase in the center of it. So if anyone takes anything out there please feel free to use it. You just have to unlock it, lift it out, turn it around and lock it back in place. Jamie said a there have been a few more pennies out there lately. I am thinking that vase may have to turn into the penny collection spot. On the stone itself there will be an engraved penny and of course the Viking Emblem. Every say a prayer to Chad that he is with those Vikings on Sat and Sun for the Draft. I am sure he will be looking over them.

The kids are getting excited for camper season. It opens the same weekend as the opener. They have been asking for a few weeks when we get to go. I took some things out there last weekend and found out that our nice COLD winter didn't leave the camper untouched. It cracked the Linoleum in the bedroom. I am thinking of having it carpeted with a berber so it won't happen again. It's not a big area and not really worth making a claim with insurance.

Jen

Tuesday, April 13, 2004 9:45 PM CDT

Do you listen to what the people above are trying to tell you?

This past week has been kind of a whirlwind. But one that I got a very clear notice of what I was suppossed to do. A couple girls from town have booked to go on a Childcare Conference cruise to Hawaii in Dec. They asked me to go with and I turned them down. Not a week later another girl asked me if I was going and if I could be her roommate. Now I'm not one to often sit and analize things... But by gosh by golly... I think Chad was trying to tell me something. So I booked my reservations.

Then on Sat I went to the Monument place in Fergus and picked out Chad's gravestone. It was an emotional day filled with tears. My Dad went with me and we picked out a very nice marker. Afterwords we went out to the gravesite for a short bit. Then over to my sister's. Well Dad and Travis(Jamie's husband) had walked out the backdoor to the garage a few min before me. I walked out a few min later and there in the middle of the new white cement sidewalk was a BRIGHT shiny penny gleaming in the sun. Now my Dad and brother in law both missed it... Or was it not there. Because when we had walked in a few min earlier it wasn't there. But there it was. It was Chad telling me that everything was ok. And it was and is.

I do believe that Chad has been sending me signs this past week. Telling me that life goes on. And not to let it pass me by. I'm not. I am doing as he wished. And will continue. I could greive Chad's death forever. But what good would that do me or my kids? I will have good and bad days. But life will continue.

Jen

Sunday, April 4, 2004 10:28 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,

It's been a busy weekend. Fri night I went to the Lady's Duck's Unlimited banquet in town. Sat morning The kids and I hit the road and went to Chuckie cheese's in Fargo. Tate had been asking to go for his B-day. We met Mom and Dad, my Grandma and Grandpa Hanson, My sister and her son and Barrett, and Jason and Vicki Tang and their kids. It was fun, but had to be short. Tate had brought a friend with and he had to be back around 5. So we were back in town by then and I took the kids over to the Home, Sport, and Travel Show. As lucky of a day as Tate was having I should of known better than to let him fish in the trout pond. But I let him. And of course he caught one. Now... I have NEVER cleaned a fish before. Here I am standing there with this fish in my hands thinking "What have I gotten myself into now". Called Dad(like all good daughters do) and asked him what the heck I was suppossed to do with this thing. So it is now officially in the freezer awaiting Dad's smoker.

And yes.. then came today. Of course there was church and sunday school. After that I desided it was to nice of a day to be inside. So I desided to do the outdoor spring stuff. I took down the christmas lights, raked(and mowed) the leaves out of the yard(not an easy task for those of you that know what my yard looks like), and climbed on the roof and cleaned out the gutters(another noneasy task). I managed to figure out how to run the lawn mower. Even how to check the oil and fill the tires with air. The lawn mower was Chad's baby. He bought it a couple yrs ago and I was barely allowed to touch it. I thought it was great... I never had to do the mowing!!! But, because of that I never knew what the heck to do with it either. I could of swore there was a couple times where I could hear him yelling at me for hitting this or that!!! I'm sure after the 3rd or 4th stick he just closed his eyes and refused to look down on me any longer.

But I can say "It's done!!!" And I did it myself. Again it's one of those things that you never really thought about before. But the spring yardwork wasn't going to get done by itself. And no one is going to do it for me. I don't have little green men that show up and do those things for me in the middle of the night. So I do it myself, along with caring for 2 children at the same time. I had someone tell me the other day "You are great at multitasking". I have thought about this alot... When Chad was around he couldn't seem to even get a load of laundry going while watching the kids by himself. I think that Mom's are born with an inate ability to multitask. We have to be. Could you imagine what our homes would look like if we couldn't? Lord I am afraid to think of what mine would look like if I wasn't doing 4 things at any one given time. Even now as I write this... I am doing laundry, updating the journal, and got dishes going in the dishwasher. A Mom's job never ends.

Jen

Monday, March 29, 2004 8:46 AM CST

This was sent to me this morning and thought I would pass it on to you all. It's something I believe in 100%.

Jen

Lisa Beamer on Good Morning America - If you remember, she's the wife of Todd Beamer who said "Let's Roll!" and helped take down the plane that was heading for Washington, D.C.

She said it's the little things that she misses most about Todd, such as hearing the garage door open as he came home, and her children running to meet him. She's now the Mom of a beautiful little girl, Mary.

Lisa recalled this story:

I had a very special teacher in high school many years ago whose husband died suddenly of a heart attack. About a week after his death, she shared some of her insight with a classroom of students. As the late afternoon sunlight came streaming in through the classroom windows and the class was nearly over, she moved a few things aside on the edge of her desk and sat down there.

With a gentle look of reflection on her face, she paused and said, "Class is over. I would like to share with all of you, a thought that is unrelated to class, but which I feel is very important.

"Each of us is put here on earth to learn, share, love, appreciate and give of ourselves None of us knows when this fantastic experience will end. It can be taken away at any moment. Perhaps this is the Powers way of telling us that we must make the most out of every single day."

Her eyes beginning to water, she went on, "So I would like you all to make me a promise. From now on, on your way to school, or on your way home, find something beautiful to notice. It doesn't have to be something you see, it could be a scent, perhaps of freshly baked bread wafting out of someone's house, or it could be the sound of the breeze slightly rustling the leaves in the trees, or the way the morning light catches one autumn leaf as it falls gently to the ground.

"Please look for these things, and cherish them. For, although it may sound trite to some, these things are the 'stuff' of life. The little things we are put here on earth to enjoy. The things we often take for granted. We must make it important to notice them, for at anytime it can all be taken away."

The class was completely quiet. We all picked up our books and filed out of the room silently. That afternoon, I noticed more things on my way home from school than I had that whole semester.

Every once in a while, I think of that teacher and remember what an impression she made on all of us, and I try to appreciate all of those things that sometimes we all overlook.

Take notice of something special you see on your lunch hour today. Go barefoot, or walk on the beach at sunset. Stop off on the way home tonight to get a double dip ice cream cone. For as we get older, is not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn't do.

Remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004 8:34 AM CST
3 Months-

Tomorrow will be 3 months that Chad died. What an eternity it seems like. I feel like I have been on my own for a yr already. How life changes and the twists and turns it throws.

Almost 3 yrs ago now, Chad was diagnosed. When he was diagnosed my grieving began. I have been greiving for almost THREE yrs. The lucky part to my grieving was that I got to grieve with the one I was going to loose. Grief is a weird thing. No one can tell you this is how it's going to go. No one can tell you this is when, how, or why. Each of us grieve different. You NEVER stop greiving. You just learn to deal with it. After 3 yrs... I think I've managed to learn to deal with it fairly well.

Alot of people don't understand why I am doing as well as I am. I think alot of friends, and family still think I should be that person curled up in a hole and not wanting to see daylight. On the contrary, I am doing very well. Alot of friends and family didn't start there grieving until a few weeks before Chad passed. They are in the beginning stages of what I faced 3 yrs ago. I am 3 yrs ahead of them. I am writting this because I need you all to know that I am moving on. I will NEVER stop loving Chad, or thinking of him. I still live in the house where he died. Everytime I go into Tate's room, it's what I think of. Everytime I sit down in his lazyboy, he's on my mind. But I have accepted his death. And I am not going to let the grief that overtook me 3 yrs ago, overtake me again. I have learned to accept the things I can not change.

I want to have a life again. I don't want to be the poor widow that everyone pity's. I have never been that type of person and I won't begin now. I am ready to begin my life anew. I never in a million yrs would of thought when Chad and I got married that I would be starting over 8 yrs later. But here I am. And I am going to go on with life the way that Chad and I talked about. His death wasn't a suprise. We had time to talk about my future without him. He told me what he wished for me. And I told him that is just what I would do. And I am doing it. I am making a happy, stable life for my kids and I.

I am not going to say that I never shed a tear. I do. And I will for a long time to come. But they are tears of what I am missing or the kids are missing. It's self pity. But I will not let that self pity ruin me. I am stronger than that. I can and am going on.

Jen

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 8:48 PM CST
Kiah's Birthday!!!

The first FIRST since Chad passed. I don't count new years as it was such a whirlwind of a time.

Tonight for her birthday we went to McD's for a party. It's what she wanted. Well as I am passing out drinks to the kids, there on the floor next to Kiah is a penny. And I will swear that that penny wasn't there at the beginning. I had asked Chad for a sign this morning. Something to let me know that he is here with us and recognizing Kiah's Birthday. I got it.

Tate has also found pennies this past week. He came home with 2 the other day from school.

As hard as it is to go on somedays, I don't have to look far for the support. I can "feel" Chad pushing me. I know it is him that is making life go on for me. I know that everything that I do for the rest of my life will have him attached to it. Chad will have his hand in my fate. And I know it will only be for the good. I'm not saying life is going to be roses and there will never be a dark cloud to overcome again, But I know he will be involved in being my strength when I need it. And I know he will guide me threw it all. What more could I ask for? This wonderful man who was on this earth for 32 years and molded me to who I am will forever be looking out for me. If nothing else, I thank the Lord for giving me that.

Jen

Thursday, March 11, 2004 1:19 PM CST
How the weeks go by. Things here are going well. The kids and I went to the annual kids fishing derby last sunday and ended up with our picture in the paper. I will post it on the other pictures page.

The caption below it was: Pioneer Photo by Monte Draper Five-year-old Tate Martinson fished right up to the last minute trying to catch a fish at the 13th Annual Kid’s Perch Derby held Sunday on Lake Bemidji. He was joined by his mother, Jennifer, and two-year-old sister, Kiah. More than 750 kids participated in the family event sponsored by the Northern/Paul Bunyan Chapter of the Minnesota Darkhouse and Angling Association.

Life does go on. I tell people that you have a choice to make... Go on with it, or get lost in the past. I have desided to go on. That doesn't mean that I don't grieve and miss Chad. I do and always will. It just means that I am not going to live in the past. It's not how he would have wanted me to live, and it's not what he would have wanted for his kids.

Jen

Thursday, March 11, 2004 1:19 PM CST
How the weeks go by. Things here are going well. The kids and I went to the annual kids fishing derby last sunday and ended up with our picture in the paper. I will post it on the other pictures page.

The caption below it was: Pioneer Photo by Monte Draper Five-year-old Tate Martinson fished right up to the last minute trying to catch a fish at the 13th Annual Kid’s Perch Derby held Sunday on Lake Bemidji. He was joined by his mother, Jennifer, and two-year-old sister, Kiah. More than 750 kids participated in the family event sponsored by the Northern/Paul Bunyan Chapter of the Minnesota Darkhouse and Angling Association.

Life does go on. I tell people that you have a choice to make... Go on with it, or get lost in the past. I have desided to go on. That doesn't mean that I don't grieve and miss Chad. I do and always will. It just means that I am not going to live in the past. It's not how he would have wanted me to live, and it's not what he would have wanted for his kids.

Jen

Wednesday, March 3, 2004 7:01 AM CST
Things here are normal. I'm sory I haven't updated in so long. Time seems to get away from me.

I have to say I am doing well. Yesterday I had a long phone conversation with a gal who knew Chad. Her brother who was only 2 yrs older than Chad passed away from cancer only a few months before Chad. They were also diagnosed only a few months apart. His was from a different kind of cancer. But it's amazing some of the similarities between the both of them as far as how they lived and fought this horrible disease. She just wanted me to know she thinks of me often, and prays for me daily. I have had many of these calls. The well wishes. The "just thinking of you" calls. The calls wondering how I am doing. And then there's my daily trips. Without fail almost everytime I go out, I will run into SOMEONE that knew Chad, and has to say hi. I have said it before and I will say it again, He was an amazing man. A man who touched more lives then I could have ever imagined.

I don't know how many of you know this. But one of the last things Chad did before he passed was to make sure I had a dependable vehicle for the next few yrs. My van was fine, but the warranty was almost up. He wanted to make sure I would have nothing to worry about. He talked to BCC and got me into a Durango. I found out yesterday from another person, that my van was a hot comodity... because it was OUR vehicle. Someone wanted to buy it because it was MY van. That to me is just amazing. It is just one more confirmation as to what a special person my husband was.

Jen

Sunday, February 22, 2004 6:26 AM CST
Hello Everyone,

I want to send out a huge THANK YOU to everyone who helped out with the snowmobile run yesterday. It was more of a success than I could have ever imagined. The exact total isn't in yet. But we figure more than $14,000 was donated. I can honestly say this was more of a shock to me than I had anticipated. It was a goal to make that much, but NEVER thought it would actually be done. And another $10,000 will be matched by Bemidji Chrysler Center. This money is going directly into 529K Educational funds for the kids. I now know that my kids will be able to attend school. It was one of the main concerns Chad had. And I am very happy to say that I am sure he is up above smiling at what we accomplished.

There were 30 riders. All but one didn't make it back on it's own. And I also find it very ironic that, that one... said "Chad, this one's for you" on it. It also was ran by D.G. who is the salesman that Chad had worked with the longest at BCC. D.G. was there when Chad started and they knew each other very well. The two of them had many running jokes between them. So I can't help but think that Chad may have just gotten the last joke in.

I made the ride... But not without insidence. At one point on the ride I hit a patch of ice and spun out of control. I went one way the sled the other tumbling on it's way. I did manage to only break the mirrors and crack the windsheild. I am ok. A little sore and a nice bruise on my upper thigh. But I was also glad to know that I wasn't the only one to "bite it" in that spot. There was a couple others that did as well. No one else was hurt either. So all in all it was an awesome day!!!

This is something we want to continue next yr and make an annual event. We would like to be able to pick a needy family in the area to donate it to. It will take some planning to figure out exactly how this will be done, but I think it would be a great way to carry on Chad's name.

Jen

Friday, February 14, 2004 4:30PM CST
UPDATED!!!
Hello Everyone,

I know everyone has been waiting for this to be posted. Thanks for being patient.

We will be leaving from the 71 Bar at 8:00AM. When you get to the Bar make usre you give your riders sheet Jim Fankhanel before the ride starts. We are working on getting some sort of marker for each rider so when we are ridding and meet another rider you will know if they are part of the group. So when you give your sheet to Jim, he will hopefully have something for you to either wear or put on your sled.

The route will go east on 22 a mile and then go north on the Buena Vista State Forest Trail. We will go north To the corner to Busy corners. We will turn East and go threw Busy Corners to the T. Then we will go North again threw Kelliher up all the way to Washkish. By making this small change It will give everyone more options for food. In Washkish we will stop to put on gas and the pit crew will be there with coffee, hot chocolate, and bars. We will then go south out of Waskish about a mile and turn to the east and ride threw the Red Lake State Forest down to Gemmell. From Gemmell the trail will go straight down 71 to the 71 Bar. There will be another pit stop in Northome for coffee, hot chocolate, and bars. The ride will end at the 71 Bar. Inside you will be welcome to join us afterwards for cake and drinks. Keep in mind that from Gemmell to Tenstrike the trail goes up into the woods some so your not ridding in the ditchs.

Places to stop and eat:
71 Bar
Busy Corners
Kelliher
Waskish
Blackduck

Places to get gas:
Busy Corners
Kelliher
Waskish
Gemmell
Mizpah
Northome
Funkley
Blackduck

All sponsor sheets and money should be turned in by the 21st. You can either give it to me, or drop it off directly to Edward Jones Investments next to Subway on Paul Bunyan Drive.

I want to personally thank everyone who is putting their time into this ride. It would not be possible if it were not for you all going out and raising the sponsors and making this LONG ride with me. Jim had mentioned making this an Annual thing and each year we would deside on a needy family, or organization to which to donate the funds raised. So next year keep this in mind and we will hold Jim to his promise.

If anyone is interested in helping be on the Pit Crew please give me a call. I am trying to get a list of people and get that all together. If you are wondering how you can help and not ride, We are looking for the big thermos's to hold the Hot Chocolate and Coffee. We are also looking for people to donate bars for the pit stops. If you can help out with these things call Brenda Sand at 444-8476.

Jen

P.S. If you have any questions please feel free to call me. The number is posted below.

Thursday, February 5, 2004 10:34 PM CST
NEW PICTURES- I am going to run new pics every so often of Chad threwout his life.

5 weeks

Last night was a tough one for me. I went to bed with the thoughts of sleeping, and to my suprise, I lost it. I cried. I REALLY cried for the first time since Chad's death. I literally wanted to curl up in that dark corner and not come out. Even this morning when I woke. But I did. I still had to get Tate up for school. And the daycare kids would be coming soon. So I forged on. And I did well. I had a good day.

I think the hardest thing about this whole process is the little stuff. Tue. I had taken the garbage out to the road. I completely forgot I had taken them out there and bedtime came. I went to bed. 10:30 I realize the cans are still by the road. I had to get up, get dressed, and go out and retreive the cans. Those are the small things that Chad did. I never worried about bringing the cans back up. He always did it. And yet here I was 5 weeks after his death, in -20 degree weather and 10:30 at night, bringing the cans up to the house.

But I will continue as he wanted me to. Each day for the day it is. Not taking a single one for granted. Living each one to the fullest. I do not look forward to more nights like last night. I am sure they will come. And I will take them on head first.

Jen

Monday, February 2, 2004 1:53 PM CST
Wow... How fast a week flys by when your having fun. I started Daycare back up a week ago. Things are the same but yet different. I have made some changes to my daycare. I am now a B2 license. Which means I am Infant and Toddler only. I can only take kids up to 30 months and then they go on to a different daycare. It also means I can only have 6 kids in my care... including my own. I also have desided I am going to start taking summers off. So I will do childcare during the school yr and then be able to have my summers free with my kids. What made me make this change? What possessed me to take less kids and go only infant and toddler? Well... let's just say fate had a role in it. I have always loved the babies. And I had thought I was getting all my families back. When in reality I only ended up with 1 coming back. So I figured if I was going to make the change, now was the time to do it. I figure if I can take less kids and charge a little more to make up for the others, why not???? Why not take less kids and not burn myself out? Why not do what I love??? So I did it. I have picked up one baby so far. So I have openings for 1 more baby OR 2 toddlers left. So far I am loving it. It is so much more laid back. The stress level is less than half what it was before. And I am going to be able to do and spend the time with my kids like I want to. And like I said I will also be taking summers off for that reason as well. Tate is already asking me when the snow is going to melt and we can go to the camper for the summer. I have plans of living out there this summer. It's only 6 miles from the house, so if it rains we can come home for the day. I can also still come home to do laundry, and the things I need to. So when schools out.. look for me out there. LOL.

Everyone has been telling me to take time for me. I want you all to know I am dong just that. For the past 2 1/2 yrs I have had to give, give, give. And it is now time for me to do for me.

We are also still looking for riders for the snowmobile run. Anyone still interested let me know. I can get a sponser sheet to you. The run is on Feb 21st.

Jen

Sunday, January 25, 2004 2:19 PM CST
One Month

It's strange when you think about it. Chad has been gone for one month today. All the different feelings I have gone threw in the past month. The one that hasn't happened is the anger. Everyone warned me that I am going to get angry. That I won't be able to help it. That it is going to happen and I won't be able to stop it. I guess I will just keep waiting. But I hope I will be able to say that it never came. I don't blame Chad for being sick. I don't blame him for leaving us. And the last thing I would do is blame him for not loving us enough to stay around. And I also don't think I will blame the Lord. That is something that when Chad got sick, we said we would never do. We would NEVER blame God for his illness. And we haven't. We have stood by his side the whole time and said if this is to be, then we accept it and will deal with it one day at a time. And that is what we did. And what I continue to do. Sure it would be easy to do. It would be very easy to say "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO US!!!" But when have you ever known Chad or I to take the EASY way out of anything???

No, I will continue the way I have. I will continue to take each day for the day that it is. And I will continue to love my kids each and every day. I will continue to pray to God for the strength to go on. For the help to accept that I am "single" again. And the willingness to be able to see that maybe there is someone else out there that might make me happy. But until then, I will be fine. I have the added strength that Chad is giving me. I know he is with us. And I know that he is looking over us and helping us on this journey. I have had many signs from him. As the kids have as well. Many pennies have been found. And I have a wonderful new comforter that I know Chad had a hand in me getting. I wrap myself up in his love each night.

Jen

Monday, January 19, 2004 8:24 PM CST
Things here are going well. The kids and I spent a weekend at home alone. Fri night the elem. had a dance for the kids. Tate and Kiah had a ball. Sat night I went out to supper with some friends. And Sun Miss and Joff took Tate for the day while I cleaned house and then Kiah and I joined them alter in the day for supper with Ann and Alan. It was a good weekend in all.

I have been thinking. Ya know that oxymoron thing I was talking about as Chad was dieing??? Well... I can now say looking back that it was a beautiful thing. It was something that you don't get to experience often, and knowing that the Lord or the Angels were on the other side coming for him and he was stopping them until he got to say his goodbye's and know everyone was together and Ok, is a great thing. I know he is in a better place. And I know he is watching over us and taking care of us.

Kiah is finally starting to realize as well. Yesterday when she got into trouble instead of crying for Daddy, she cried for Grandma. Anyone but Mom at that moment in time. LOL. i have also noticed Tate "venting". He's not sat down and cried yet because of Daddy dieing. Instead he is reacting when what normally would be a small thing to get upset about is now turning into big things. They both are still very clingy. As can be expected.

Jen

Thursday, January 15, 2004 5:48 PM CST
How time can fly and stand still at the same time. 3 weeks. Chad's been gone 3 weeks. It seems like it has been a lifetime already. And yet I still mentally think he is gong to come walking threw the door at night.

I am doing well. I go threw my greiving, but at the same time am following one day with another. There has only been one day since Chad died that I haven't went to town to run an errand of some sorts. It seems each day something comes up that I need to go do.

Everyone has been asking when I am going to start up daycare again. I'm not sure if they are worried I don't have anything to do and am just sitting in a corner, or if they are just asking because they are curious. I have thought about going back in a week. But as I said... each day I am still running an errand of some sorts or another. And once I start daycare back up, I won't be able to do that running. So I need to make sure that all the loose ends are taken care of first. I am not in any hurry. Alot of people are worried about me financially. I am going to be ok. Chad took the steps to take care of the planned expenses. And with what I and the kids will be getting from S.S. I shouldn't have to worry about much. It's not saying that I am going to be rich, but it's saying that I will make it just fine. And along with the kids getting their 529's, that will be one less worry.

For those of you that don't know what the plan is for the donation at the church... Our church is in the process of building an outdoor worship area. They laid the cement last fall and in the middle of it they are putting a cross. This stone cross is what I want to do. On it will be inscribed "Unshakeable Faith". Along with that I also need to get a head stone for Chad's grave. I want to thank you all for the thoughts and prayers over the past 2 1/2 yrs. It has meant more to us than could ever be said.

Now that being said... I AM going to start up daycare again. I LOVE what I do. And I don't know what I would do without the munchkins around. Besides my life is still going to continue and I will need the extra income to get that 4-wheeler that Chad always wanted. :)

Jen

Sunday, January 11, 2004 7:11 PM CST
There's a family down in Mills that lost there home in a fire a couple weeks ago. They have 9 kids and lost everything. Two families lives changed in the blink of an eye. Mine with the death of my husband. There's by the fire. I thought maybe, just maybe I could help them. I went threw all of Chad's clothes and donated it all to them. Not an easy task. But I felt needed none the less. It makes me feel good to know that some good will come of Chad's death.

Hanging on to the past is such a strange thing. I found myself putting every peice of chothing up to my nose, just to get one last scent of Chad. Maybe something that he had wore for a couple hours and put back in his closet. And his bandanas. I found one that he had worn and not gotten washed yet. It was such a strange feeling. A feeling of being lost. Half wanting him to come back to us, and the other half reminding myself that he's no longer in pain and no longer needing those dang bandanas.

I went out to the gravesite Sat. by myself. I took a wreath that Mom had, that we modified to be purple and gold. It was a harsh reality for me. Standing there over his grave knowing that his body was buried there. It was such a final thing to me. The original burial should have been that I guess. But I think I was so worried about being strong for the kids that my grief came second. And that still holds true today. But being at the gravesite by myself I was able to let go. I didn't ask why, I didn't do any blaming. But I did grieve. Greive the fact that he is NEVER coming back to this physical world. To grieve the fact that the last time he held me in his arms was the LAST time he will hold me. And the last backrub I got from him, was the LAST one I will ever get from him. For those of you that don't know, the 13 yrs we were together there was rarely a night that didn't go by that he didn't give me a backrub. It was our way of saying goodnight to each other. It was OUR time to be together. And up until 2 nights before he past away I was still getting that backrub. It wasn't the same as it had been for the years before. He didn't have the strength in his hands. But the fact remained that he did it for me. He did it to please me. I just hope that I can continue to please him as much as he did for me for all those years.

Jen

Wednesday, January 7, 2004 8:49 PM CST
Things here are going well. It's been a busy week. I opened up 2 529's for the kids. The death certificates came in. I did alot of running today to get things into my name. Even the cell phone company needed a death certificate.

It's really different with me having to handle this end of things. I was so used to Chad handling the buisness side of things. I think it will be better though once it's all done and all I have to do is pay bills. LOL. But I now understand why those little old ladies leave everything in their husbands name!!!

I spoke to the kids tonight at confirmation. I was suprised to find myself breaking down and crying easier tonight than I did 2 weeks ago. I thought I would have no problem talking to them, but found myself crying as soon as mentioning Chad's name. I guess it's just that grieving process. I still am doing well. I'm not going to bed and crying myself to sleep. I'm don't find myself loosing it at any old time. In fact the kids and I sat down and watched home movies the other night so the kids could see Daddy, and did very well. It wasn't until it was actually Christmas Day and Chad was very sick and someone actually recorded me telling him it was ok to go to the Lord that I lost it. I actually smiled and laughed with the kids threw the rest of it. Watching them wrestle and horse around.

I think it is starting to sink into Kiah more. Now that he has been gone for 2 weeks and I think she is realizing that he isn't coming back. She still cries for him when she gets into trouble with me. And I am sure that will continue for awhile. Tate has been a trooper threwout it all. He seems to have adjusted fine. I have had to pick up Daddy's nightly story telling.

Jen

Monday, January 5, 2004 6:17 PM CST
We are doing well. Tate had a good first day back. But he did find out just how much it hurts to put your tongue on a peice of metal in -30 weather. Doesn't every kid do that at some point in there life??? I just had to laugh.

Tomarrow I have to go meet with the investment people. I am opening 2 529's for the kids. Jim from BCC is planning a fundraiser. He is doing a snowmobile run. If this is something that sounds like it would interest you, you can call him at 751-8006. He is looking for 40 riders for Feb the 21st. Each rider will be responsible for raising $300. It started out it was going to be 300 miles we would ride. Now he is rethinking that and is going to lower it, but I'm not sure by how much. BCC is going to match up to $10,000. So we very well could raise over $20,000 for the kids. We are also planning on having "pit stops" along the way. So if your not a snowmobilier, but want to help, you can also help out in that way. Again let Jim know. This should be a fun time. It will be on the river, so easy ridding. I am planning on ridding. Jim would also like to turn this into an annual event and then each year it would get donated to a different charity or family in need.

Jen

Saturday, January 3, 2004 4:17 PM CST
Life as I know it:

Life has changed. As human's we usually don't like change. We like things to stay the same and having to deal with change isn't something that comes naturally.

My life has changed. What I have known for 13 yrs has changed. I find myself thinking "I'll ask Chad", or "When he gets back". And then I remember there is no more "us". Only me. I make the choices now. I make the decisions. I have to run the errands. It's a strange feeling. I am not sure what to do with myself. I am so used to talking to Chad and discussing things with him, that to make a choice by myself seems wrong. For 13 yrs I have never done anything without at least mentioning it to Chad. This is a strange new territory that my mind can't seem to understand. Chad and I were not only husband and wife, but we were best friends. We did everything together.

Now all that said. I am doing well. I am going threw the greiving process like anyone else. But I am not crawling into a hole or corner and forgetting that the world around me is still continueing without me. Tate will be starting school again on Mon. The death certificates should be in next week, and then the paperwork process begins.

Pastor Mark called me today. They are going threw the Lord's prayer in confirmation. He has asked me to speak to the confirmation classes about how the Lord's prayer has helped me threw the trials Chad and I had been facing and how it is going to help me in the months to come.

So as you can see life goes on. It changes, it takes on new shape, it even flies by in the blink of an eye. The challenge is to embrace it. To keep up with it. And I will. I take things one day at a time as I have for the past 2 1/2 yrs.

Jen

Wednesday, December 31, 2003 5:29 PM CST
New Year's Eve,

Last years new years eve was the last one I spent with Chad and the last one I will ever. Had I only known then what I know now. The one before that I was also alone. Chad had had his surgery and was laying in a hospital bed. The one before that I was very sick with the flu. But I can tell you last year it was spent with my husband watching movies and cuddling. Some of our most favorite times were spent like that. Doing nothing.

The past week has went by like a bad dream. Tonight I sit here thinking "Where did the week go?" And then I think back to the last week and look around my house and I know exactly where it went. It went by in a blur. But it also went by with the people I most care about. My family and my freinds. If I could do it all over again, I would do nothing different. Everything was planned, and not planned. There is not one thing that I can think of that went "bad". No major glitches and no "should of been's".

I think back a week to the night Chad passed away. Christmas day... At first I thought to my myself... "WHY!!!! Why christmas day!!!" And then one night as I was about to go to sleep it came to me. Chad knows that christmas is my favorite time of the year. He knows that whatever sadness that there may be on Christmas day it won't ruin my joy for the season. And why not??? Why shouldn't the man who changed so many lives not go to see the lord on the day he was born. Sure every year from here on I will think of Chad on Christmas. But that day will not be in mourning. It will be in joy. It will be because I know what a special man he was, and how many lives he touched. He made a difference in more lives than even I could have imagined. I have been reading cards and letters from complete strangers telling me that he made a difference in their lives. And that is what matters. He may have only been a "car salesman", but you ask any one of his customers(and there are MANY) and they will tell you how he touched their lives. How in the process of selling someone a car, he made the difference.

They say when God puts you on this earth he gives you so many years. And the special ones he takes back sooner for another special job. Well Chad was given 32 years. 32 years to make a difference. He did that. And he did it well. Now the Lord needs him for another job. And that is ok. Because I know that he is one of those "special" ones that the Lord can't do without.

As for me... I am headed over to a freinds house. The kids and I will be spending New Years Eve in the hottub and remembering. Once again, I will be alone when that clock strikes midnight... or will I???

Jen

Sunday, December 28, 2003 8:39 PM CST
Visitation went very well. Tomarrow is the funeral and Tue the service and burial in Fergus. I probably won't get this updated again till after we get home from it all.

I want to thank you all for the well wishes and prayers so far. It shows just how much Chad was loved and how much he meant to you all.

Jen

Saturday, December 27, 2003 9:49 AM CST
It is a new morning. My sister left this morning and I am all alone with Kiah. She is lost in sat morning cartoons, and I am doing some self healing. I am doing the one thing that I know I can do that gives me strength and a feeling of peace. I have put in my Enya CD and am just sitting back and letting it engolf me. People have asked me all these months how I get threw. That I am just a strong person and can't understand how I manage. My answer is Enya. If you have never heard her music before I encourage you to go pick up a CD. It is the thing that has gotten me threw.

Below there is a link taht will take you to Chad's obituary listed with the Funeral home. Feel free to leave a note there or here as well.

Chad was a special man. He touched many, many lives. And I know even in the glory of God he will continue to do that.

Jen

P.S. the link wasn't working, but should be now.

Friday, December 26, 2003 4:45 PM CST
Visitation: Olson-Schwartz Funeral Home-- Sun from 4-7PM
Funeral: Bethel Lutheran Church, Bemidji-- Mon 2PM
Memorial service: Olson Funeral Home, Fergus Falls-- Tue 1PM, Burial to follow

I would be lieing if I said this has been easy. But if Chad had to leave this world, he did it with the same dignity and grace as he lived his life.

Last night about 5:30 I was cleaning up the Christmas mess when I swore Chad was coming down the steps to the livingroom. Of course he wasn't. But it made me go up and check on him and realized his breathing was very labored. We called hospice and she informed us to call family and that he may be on his way out. We also called pastor Gary who came over to say a prayer with us. At the time when pastor was praying, Chad did something he hadn't done all day. He brought his arms up and pushed his legs down forcing the lazy boy he was in to start to fold up. He sat on the edge of the chair for a little bit and then made his way over to the bed. We got him in bed and he was awake for a short while. His Mom, Grandma, and I had all told him he didn't have to fight anymore and to go and rest. He fell back to sleep, but not nearly as sound as he had been. Every 10-15 min he would put his arms up and act as if he was pushing something away and say stop, help, or no. My parents came and also gave their blessings to Chad and told him to stop fighting and go to the lord. When my Mom told him this he shook his head and quickly said NO. 20 Min. later his Dad came and he also gave him the permission he needed. Not 5 min after his Dad tellin him it was ok, Chad took that final step into the other world. I know he was waiting to be able to say his own goodbye to each of his family. Also sourrounding him at his time of death were the salemen from BCC. This is what Chad wanted. He wanted everyone to be together and have the support of each other at the most difficult of times. And he did just that.

I have been told so many times today that Chad left a special place in many people's hearts. That he has touched there lives. If that is what he was put on this earth to do, it is what he did. He will always be remembered in the hearts of many.

Please feel free to join us on Sun, Mon, or Tue. Please note that because of Chad's huge passion for the Vikings if you feel necessary, you are more than welcome to come in Viking attire.

Jen

Friday, December 26, 2003 1:04 AM CST
Chad waited untill his Father arrived at 11:00 to pass from this world into the other. He was surrounded by his freinds, family, and the ones most dear to him.

Funeral services are pending and will be posted as soon as possible.

Thursday, December 25, 2003 5:42 PM CST
Chad's breathing is very labored tonight. He's been sleeping all day. Things are progressing. One good thing is he is not suffering. He's in no pain and resting quietly. His blood pressure was 80/40 this morning and pulse was 115.

I keep waiting for him to wake up and say "I feel better". Or to come down the livingroom steps to sit in his chair with us all playin down there. He has been sick and gotten better so many times in the back of my head I keep thinking it's going to happen again. But in reality I know it's not.

Pastor was here yesterday and gave him his last writes. Told him he has fought a long hard fight and he's free to go to the Lord.

Chad's mom gave him a card last night at Christmas that has the name meaning and this verse on it:
Chad
"Brave Warrior"
But they that wait upon the lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings as eagles.

Chad is now free to go fly with the angels. Now it is up to him as to when he would like to.

Jen

Wednesday, December 24, 2003 6:56 AM CST
Chad had a rough night. The nurse came by about 9:30 and they put a catheter in place because he has been having a rough time with the bathroom.

And threw out the night he has been throwing up little amounts of stomach acid.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003 7:59 PM CST
Chad went in for his tap today. Everything went normal and they took out 2.5 ltrs. But then afterwards he threw up and along with that his body desided to react to everything. His blood pressure dropped to 65 over 34 and his oxygen levels dropped to between 50-60 percent. His eyes rolled back in his head and he started shaking and not being able to control anything. He said he was blacking out. I seriously thought I was loosing him. And afterwards found out the nurse that was there was thinking the same thing.

He now has to be on oxygen full time. And we are not talking about a little bit. His level is set at 15. He has 2 machines in the house pumping the oxygen to him. We also got hospice in place and they brought out a bed and things for him. The Dr. was very blunt with him and said "Things are not good". Hospice will be coming by daily to check on him.

Jen

Monday, December 22, 2003 10:08 PM CST
Angels From Heaven

I need to send a HUGE THANK YOU out to 4 great friends. You know which ones you are... These 4 Angels showed up on our doorstep tonight and CLEANED our house from one end to the other for 2 1/2 hrs. I owe them so much there is no way to say thank you enough. Another Angel who has more than earned her wings and keeps on giving is Heather. She will be coming to watch the kids tomarrow for me while I take Chad in to get tapped again. She has also said she can watch them Fri for us while we make another tapping trip and on Sat for us while we go to a christmas party.

I can't even begin to tell you guys how much you all mean to us. The friends we have made in the past 7 yrs of living in Bemidji have meant so much to us. You all are our home away from home family.

I also need to send out a special Thank you to 2 generous people. We don't know either of there names and they are wishing to remain annonymous so all I can say is Thank you to "Santa Claus" and to one of Chad's customers.

So as you can see the "Angels" have been very busy at our house lately.

And also on another note... Chad has begun eating again. He has eatin more today than he has in a week. It's still certainly not enough... but it's a start. He also is feeling better and more upbeat. This is a complete 180 degree turn around from last week. Let's pray it continues.

Jen

Sunday, December 21, 2003 8:46 PM CST
It's been a busy weekend. Yesterday my immediate family came up and we had christmas. It was a great time for us all to be together. Chad was pretty good, but still sleepy. Last night he was getting uncomfortable and we went into the ER and had his tummy tapped. They once again removed 3.7 ltrs from his tummy. It amazing that in 4 days he could gain that much fluid. Today his Grandma, Elaine, and Guy flew up to see him and this afternoon his Dad and Phyliss came.

Tomarrow his Mom, Rick, and Stacey are coming up to see him and then in the evening some of the crew from BCC are coming by.

Jen

Friday, December 19, 2003 9:43 PM CST
Chad had a stable day. He went and ran some errands with his sister this morning and then went for fluids at 1. Unfortanetly they gave him some drugs again befor he left the clinic that made him really out of it. His reaction time is so slow anyways and then they drug him up and he turns into a zombie. We were again told today that Chad's time is short. Maybe shorter than we all think. The nurses on the oncology unit wanted us to be prepared.

He eats very little to none. Sleeps most of the day, but can be woke up and asked a question. He can anser the question most of the time, it just is either very slurred or slow.

Hospice is going to start stepping in and helping us. Mon they will come by to visit and set up something.

They say death is a beautifull thing to witness. I'm wondering if this is one of those oxymoron things. One of those things that not till it's over and past and you've had time to recover that you can look back and say that? Right now it seems like such a cruel, awefull thing. To watch the one you love with all your heart suffering in pain and dieing. I guess only time will tell. But until that time I am going to cherish each moment. Each time he can look at the kids or I and say "I love you". Each time he is able to smile at something. Each time that maybe... just maybe for a second he is able to forget that he is dieing and be able to concentrate on something that makes him happy.

The other day he told me that he's sorry he has to put me threw this. But I would do it again in a heart beat. Even though my heart breaks knowing I won't be able to spend the next 50 yrs with him by my side. Chad has taught me soooooo much about myself in the past 13 yrs. He has made me a better person. It's because of him, that I can deal with this. It's because of him that I have 2 great, loving, caring children that will live on with him inside them. It's because of him that I am who I am. And I thank him for that. I love him because of that.

Jen

Thursday, December 18, 2003 12:55 AM CST
Chad is not doing well. The last 2 days he has slipped a little more downhill. He is sleeping better now that they got the fluid off his tummy. But he is slow in responsive time to answer questions. They drugged him up yesterday before we left Fargo and he was out of it. He is still droggy today and is needing more and more help with his own everyday tasks.

We have desided it would be best to close daycare at this time. I am telling the families today that I will take the kids until they find alternate care.

Chad just left to go into the clinic. They are going to give him some fluids and some more meds for nausea. He has gotten sick twice today so far. Gaterade is about the only thing he is keeping down.

They also gave him some Lasix yesterday which did help the water retention. His thighs look alot better. Still swollen in his calves, ankles, and feet though.

Jen

Wednesday, December 17, 2003 9:47 AM CST
Still in Fargo. They removed 4.4 liters of fluid from his tummy yesterday. He slept good, and is now getting his treatment started. This is yet another combination or drugs that haven't been tried before. I will update more when I get the exact names and spelling of them. He is extremely fatigued and sleeping alot. He can't stand for more than a min or two and is to weak. The nurses have told me they have noticed a difference in him even since Fri when they saw him last.

We should be home sometime this afternoon. Treatment is gong to take about 4 hrs. And then we can head home.

Jen

Tuesday, December 16, 2003 3:03 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

I am at Meritcare at the moment. Chad is being tapped and drained as I type. They are hopeing to get off more than a liter of fluid off his tummy. We will be spending the night here in Fargo and then tomarrow getting chemo. His tumors have advanced and and they figure 70% of his liver is invaded agian. I have noticed in the past few days that he isn't as responsive as he normally is. But he's the one who made the decision to go threw with more chemo.

Kiah is staying at Pat and Ricks tonight and Tate is staying at Melissa and Joffs so that he can get to school tomarrow. We should be home tomarrow afternoon sometime.

Jen

Friday, December 12, 2003 8:22 PM CST
We are back from the Dr.s. We didn't deside much today. Chad has to go for a CT on Mon and then we met with Dr. K on Tue.

They want to do a CT to see how much of his tumy is tumor and how much of it is fluid. They figure he has over 30lbs of fluid and tumor right now. They just want to get a better idea of what is what.

I'm not going to sugar coat anything. Things are not good on the home front. Chad has continued to degress over the past 3 weeks and we know if something doesn't get done soon he won't be here. The question is what do we do? We don't know. We will have a better idea on Tue. But it may end up that there is nothing left. We may have to face the fact that we have done what can be done, and this is it. But we won't know that till Tue.

What I can tell you is that he sleeps most of the day. He is up for an hr here and an hr there, but most of his time is spent in the lazy boy with his feet up sleeping. The fluid has progressed. He is now retaining fluid up into his tummy. Even wearing a pair of pants is getting hard because of the pressure it puts on his tummy. Chad is no longer the man that I have known for 13 yrs. He isn't able to get up and do the things he wants. He can't rough house with the kids. He can't go for any length of time walking. We applied for a handicapped permit for him, but haven't received it yet. Well he went to town the other day and parked in the handicapped anyways. He also used the motorized cart to get around wal-mart. Things are wearing on him and I emotionally. We have noticed ourselves getting short with the kids. But thank goodness we have noticed it and can now fix it. Tate is also noticing that his Daddy is getting sicker. He is starting to act out a little more and Kiah is getting clingy for Daddy. All of these things combined has really changed life around here.

I know that it is going to continue. And this is what we are going to have to go threw. But there are times when it just doesn't make it any easier.

Jen

Thursday, December 11, 2003 9:18 AM CST
Things here are the same. It's been kind of nice to have a week with no major changes. Tomarrow Chad has an appt in Fargo. I am taking the day off and going with. We will meet Mom in D.L. and she will take Kiah and keep her over night. Heather will be coming over to be at the house after school, so someone is here when Tate gets home. We will be home tomarrow night sometime. And Mom will bring Kiah back on Sat.

Jen

Monday, December 8, 2003 7:46 PM CST
Chad is doing ok tonight. His stomach has been feeling a little funky, and he's still tired and swollen, but overall no worse.

Before Chad was ever diagnosed with Cancer I used to say "I would NEVER wish cancer on my worst enemy". And I still never would. But I have to say that in the past 2 1/2 years, our lives have grown and become so much more than I ever could have imagined. I no longer take each day for granted. I remember to hug and kiss and tell my kids I love them every day. I look for the deeper meaning in things and life in general. And most importantly the little things. The little things that I took for granted each and every day. The little things like someone saying "How are you doing?" And knowing that they REALLY mean... HOW AM I DOING!!! Instead of it being a blank statment that you automatically say "ok" or "just fine" to. This whole "lesson" on life has taught me so much about me and my faith. Not neccessarly meaning I have to go to church every Sunday, but meaning that I can openly "share" my unshakeable faith and trust in God. So would I have wished 2 1/2 yrs ago for Chad to get sick? NEVER. But if this is what it took for me to open my eyes that has happened.

Am I a "stronger" person now than I was 2 1/2 yrs ago??? Definetly. But in SOOoooo many more ways than I could have ever imagined. And I need to thank you all for that. It's been your prayers that have gotten Chad and I threw the past 2 1/2 yrs. We will continue this fight. We are not ready to give up, and I will never quit. Because even after Chad leaves us I will need the strength to continue to go on. Which I know I can do. I will never say it will be fun, or what I WANT, but I will face it head on and forge into the future, whatever it may hold.

Jen

Sunday, December 7, 2003 7:35 PM CST
My how the weekend goes to fast. Pam and John came up on Sat morning and stayed till this morning. It was good for Chad even though he slept alot of the time. I had talked to Pam about helping me make a sign for my daycare(she went to school for graphic design). So she and I made a new sign for the daycare this weekend.

Chad has been doing ok. His feet are still swollen, but they feel better if he can keep them up. His bowels are kinda workin. He will feel bloated and icky, take his meds and usually within 12hrs starts feeling better.

We seriously think this is just "one more thing" that Chad is going to have to "deal" with. As time goes on I'm sure the list will continue to grow. Some prayers for him to be comfortable would be great. It's so hard to see him in pain knowing there is nothing I can do. And yet at the same time I have to keep telling myself that this is just the beginning and it is only going to get harder.

Jen

Friday, December 5, 2003 6:53 PM CST
No major news today... for once. Chad's legs are slowly getting better. They still swell up, but the pills are helping. He is feeling very tired. The dr's said it was the main side effect of the Velcade. All he wants to do is sleep. He can fall asleep at the kitchen table by just closing his eyes. But at the same time can't get in 8 hrs of sleep for nothing. Last night he got 4 which is the best he has gotten in a long time. He also actually slept in bed with me!!! First time in 2 weeks.

The kids and I are doing good. I am still fighting that dumb cough. It's getting very old. Tomarrow Pam and John are coming up to visit. It will be great to get to see them again.

Have a great weekend everyone

Jen

Thursday, December 4, 2003 4:03 PM CST
Chad got to go visit the ER here in town today. We heard back from Pat and he said to go to the ER. They found out that what we thought chad was full of... isn't what it was after all. There is a nerve in your back that controls the fluid in your lower half of your body. They think this nerve is being pinched which is in turn causeing the water gain. They put him on a Lasix to help get rid of the extra water. Now we can just wait to see if it helps. He is currently upstairs sleeping. He is so tired. All he has done for the last week is run, run, run. Hopefully tomarrow will be better and he can have a quiet day at home.

We also got the Van back today!!! Yipppeeeeee!!! Never thought I would hear myself saying those words about a van!!! LOL

Jen

Thursday, December 4, 2003 9:00 AM CST
Chad is doing ok. He got home last night about 5. Had a small scare in that he is retaining fluid. His feet, ankles, and calves are all pufed up. He called the oncall oncologist last night and he just said to sleep with your feet elevated and it should be better by today. It is... but there still puffy. He's waiting to hear back from Pat(Dr.K's nurse) about it.

Will keep ya posted

Tuesday, December 2, 2003 7:20 PM CST
Things here are going as normal. The kids seem to have avoided the strep.

Chad went to Fargo this morning for treatment. He got chemo. He's been having some slight problems with side effects of the pain med... no good way to put this... the poor guy has been constipated. They have had him on senakot and gave him a dose of something else when he got there today. But to no luck, things just wouldn't "break loose". So much to his dismay he had to get an enema. I told him I always knew he was full of sh*t. Hopefully by morning he will be better. He is spending the night at his Dad's. And will come home in the morning. Hopefully they can get this fixed and he will start physically feeling better and sleeping better.

I took the kids and went into town tonight. Got my haircut and then took them to McD's to play. They are now watching Charlie Browns Christmas.

Jen

Sunday, November 30, 2003 7:58 AM CST
Everything here is better. I am almost well again. Still have a nagging cough. Hopefully that will get better in a day or so.

Chad had Chemo Fri. They gave him Methodone pain reliever. He is having a hard time sleeping. The most comfortable position is sitting up. Well sitting up and sleeping just don't go hand in hand. Fri after chemo we went to D.L. to be with Pat, Rick, Joff(and the kids), and Dale, April, and Anders from Neb, and Gram Mert. We had dinner there and left about 4 for my parents. We went up to the Mills city hall that night and the kids got the decorate a cookie and see Santa. Chad stayed back at the house and rested. Yesterday my family, Jamie, Travis, Brenden, Kevin, Tana, Mom, Dad, and us all had dinner together. We left about 2:30 to head home. Got home last night and I still had a pile of "contaminated" blakets and clothes that had to get washed. So I did laundry and we watched Tv until bed time. Today we are going over to Miss and Joff's for Ally and Brandon's B-day. It's been just go, go, go lately(unless I'm half dead on the couch).

Hope everyone else had a great break.

Jen

Thursday, November 27, 2003 6:56 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

I went into the ER this morning and found out I have strep. So my turkey day was postponed. Mom and Dad came up and got the kids last night, which was a godsend. Chad and I both were in no shape to be chasing kids today.

Chad speaking went great last night. To our suprise(well his) about 10 people from Bemidji Chrysler showed up to show there support. Chad went out to Perkins with them afterwords. Below is the dialog that Chad worked very hard on.

A little over 2 ½ years ago I was diagnosed with terminal cancer. My family and I have had to work through many different treatments, including 20 rounds of chemical therapy, major surgery, a stem cell transplant, and 3 months of radiation. We are still fighting this terrible disease today. Through it all, I am grateful our family has never lost its faith. In fact, Unshakeable faith has become our family theme. All the prayers we have received from the hundreds of people who sent them have really touched our lives. We have so much to be thankful for I do not think we could possibly list them all, but here are some of our top choices.

We are very thankful for our friends and family. With out their support we would never have been able to make it through the tougher times. We are thankful for our faith and our church. We are thankful for our community and everything it has done for us. We are thankful for our doctors and the care they have given us. We are thankful for the fun times we have had over the last 2 ½ years and the fun times to be had in the future. Most importantly, we are thankful for the time the Lord has given us to love and cherish each other as a family.

Short and to the point. Just like my husband :)

Jen

Wednesday, November 26, 2003 8:11 AM CST
Chad is feeling good. Fri he goes back for chemo again.

I am sick with the flu. Yesterday morning i woke not feeling quite right. As the day went on I got worse and worse. The body aches started, headache, fever, and just plain feeling yucky. I could have gotten sick twice last night, but the stubborn person I am when it comes to throwing up managed not to. I sure hope the kids and Chad don't get this. Also hope I am feeling better by tonight for church.

Carol it is going to be at Bethel Lutheran at 7:00. It's the new big church on Irvine Ave. Your welcome to join us if your not busy with that wedding.

Jen

Monday, November 24, 2003 9:02 PM CST
Chad went to Fargo this morning and got his chemo. He is feeling icky tonight. Hopefully he will feel better by morning.

Tomarrow night I have our board meeting here at the house. And then Wed. night we are speaking at Church.

Jen

Saturday, November 22, 2003 10:26 AM CST
Things here are going good. Chad has had little to no side effects.

The next week or so is going to be busy, busy, busy. Yesterday we put up our tree's. I think we are one of the few families that have 4 trees. The kids each have a small one in there room, a big one in the sitting room, and a 4ft in the livingroom. I also started putting up the rest of the decorations, but not done yet.

Mom, Dad, Kevin, and Taina(Kevin's girlfriend) are coming up today. They are going to run cable, phone, and internet to Chad's Playroom. It will give him just another reason to disappear in the morning and not come out till night! All he needs now is a bathroom.

Have a great day everyone. Hope you don't get hit with to much snow(sounds like it is going to miss us and go south).

Jen

Thursday, November 20, 2003 6:05 PM CST
NEW PICTURES UP!!!

What a difference a day can make. This morning we got a phone call from Dr.K stating that Chad had been approved for Velcade. This is also a VERY new drug that was approved by the FDA for people with multiple myeloma cancer in May. Chad had to get prior approval from the FDA as well to give this chemo to Chad. The other drug Alimta the FDA rejected. No one really knows why, But Chad did say that Dr.K was VERY upset about it. As we were.

Chad went down to Fargo today and received the treatment. He will be getting it in intervals. He gets the drug on days 1,4,8,and 11 and then a 10 day rest period. So far so good. He is home. He said he felt a little sick on the way home, but managed to make it just fine.

Jen

Wednesday, November 19, 2003 8:57 PM CST
Chad's appt. for today was canceled. They are waiting to hear from the FDA on the other drug. They are hopeing by Fri to have an answer.

In the meantime things here are the same. Chad's pain is subsiding so that is good. Not sure what makes it flair up like it does, but it's not fun when it does. He still is not eating well. He has a hard time eating much of anything. We went out for supper tonight and he ate less than half of his salad.

Yesterday was a rough day for me. I desided to do things that I have been putting off for awhile. I went to the funeral home and visited with them. Then went and talked to our pastor. If I am going to have to plan a funeral, I want to do it now and be able to have one less thing to worry about later. Not fun, but needed. I also made lefsa yesterday, had my own Dr's appt, And by last night just needed to "get away". I hijacked Ann and Alan's hottub and just layed back and relaxed for about a 1/2 hr. I still was able to make it home by 8 to help get the kids to bed.

We were asked to do something special today. Our new Pastor called and asked if we would be willing to speak at the Thanksgiving service next Wed night. He wants us to talk about what we are thankful for.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Monday, November 17, 2003 2:09 PM CST
Things here are about the same. Chad's pain has subsidded a little on the left side. But he has a tumor on the right above his liver that is VERY tender. Hopefully we will get some good news on Wed about the other chemo. But reality is setting in. The truth is that the tumors are getting bigger and you can now see the lumps and bumps on chad's tummy. His stumach is growing and were not sure they will be able to do anything for it.

I was busy Sat putting up Christmas lights. I spent 5 hrs putting them up. I am trying to do as much as possible to make this a "normal" Christmas for the kids and for Chad. If we can't get a chemo to stop it from growing Christmas may end being a sad one. So I want to try and be as prepared as possible. We arn't giving up. But it's more like "preparing for the inevitable". But as Chad has always done in the past... I am sure he will prove me wrong. I will never give up in the power of prayer. I know miracles happen... Chad is already living proof of that.

The kids are doing great. I am taking tomarrow off. I have a regular Dr's appt. I'm also going to take Kiah with and we both will get our flu shots. Chad will have to take Tate in some time this week to do the same.

Chad and I recieved a phone call today from Beth Orgel. Beth's son also has DSRCT. We had a great conversation and it was wonderfull getting to finally put a voice to all the great support and well wishes.

Thursday, November 13, 2003 6:48 PM CST
Chad is in more and more pain each day. He called the Dr today about it. They told him to take his pain med and if that doesn't do it they will prescripe something stronger. We also got a bit of bad news. The one new drug they wanted to give him called Alimta was denied. Dr. said they are working on another one now. Hopefully we will have better luck. He goes back to Fargo Wed to meet with Beth Ann(Dr.K's PA).

Other than that things here are good. The kids are doing well and so far we have avoided any major colds. Tate had his first Conferences yesterday. His teacher says he is doing well. She says it's amazing how much he has "grown" in the past 2 months. I have to agree with her. We have seen HUGE changes in him since starting school.

Jen

Monday, November 10, 2003 10:06 AM CST
We had a busy weekend. Fri afternoon a friend from the campground came by and we went out for lunch. By the time we got home Tate was getting off school and it was time to head to my parents. Got there in time for supper and to help Dad finish packing.

During that time Chad started not feeling well. So he stayed at the house with Mom and Kiah.

Hunting went well. There was 11 in our party. By noon on Sat we had 13 deer and were done. I got a small buck. Should of had a nice Buck, but it was just one of those mornings and it didn't happen.

We went back to Mom and Dad's Sat night and helped hang and skin the deer. And then Sun we helped cut up and left about 2 for Chad and Wanda's to watch the game. GOt home aobut 8 last night, just in time to get the kids to bed and do the same ourselves.

Chad is feeling better now. We think what is happening is the tumors are getting bigger and it is pressing against his stumach so he can't eat a large meal anymore. He is going to have to start eating less more often. He got his blood checked this morning, but haven't heard any results yet.

Jen

P.S. just a little funny thing that happened over the weekend.... Sat late morning Mom, Chad, and Kiah went into Perham to a craft show. They ran into Chad and Wanda and Chad asked where I was. Of course Chad's answer was "She's hunting and I am craft shopping with my Mother-in-Law!" It was a good chuckle.

Friday, November 7, 2003 11:11 AM CST
Things here are good. CHad is feeling 10,000 times better. His HGB went from 7 to 13! 11-14 is normal. So he has energy again and looks good. He is going to deer hunt this weekend, but take it easy doing it. He is just going to hunt right behind my grandparents so he can go in and warm up whenever he wants. I on the other hand am going to be out in the boonies freezing my butt off. Doesn't that sound like a fun weekend???? LOL

Good luck to all you hunters and will update when we get back!!!

Jen

Tuesday, November 4, 2003 7:11 PM CST
Chad recieved 3 units of blood today. His HGB was down to 7. He also did NOT get chemo. They need to get prior approval from the FDA to receive the new chemo, which could take 2 or more weeks. They also didn't give him the Gemcitabine because they don't want to give it and then find out he can't get chemo because of counts when they can. He is staying at his Dad's again tonight and will come home tomarrow morning.

I received an email today from a 13yr old who is 3 yrs in remission from DSRCT. She had gotten another chemo that Chad hasn't tried. So I am going to print off the info and give it to Dr.K.

The kids and I are doing fine. There starting to miss Daddy a little. But understand he is seeing the Dr. We got LOTS to snow today. I would bet it was about 6 inches in all. The roads were nasty this morning. But are better tonight. I took the kids to town with me in the "deer slayer" tonight. I had to get some things done for the association. Got plenty of looks of "What happened to that van?" LOL.

Jen

Monday, November 3, 2003 4:51 PM CST
Chad headed to Fargo about 3. Tomarrow he will be getting Chemo and a Blood Infusion. His HGB is down to 8.1 and with more chemo they know it will drop even more. I am glad they have desided to go this route. The other option is waiting for his counts to come up on their own and we know where that gets us.

Jen

Sunday, November 2, 2003 6:24 PM CST
Chad is still kinda funky. He isnt' feeling as bad and hsan't had a fever in almost 24 hrs. But just isn't feeling good either. He is tired and today has a bad headache. We think it's that his counts are starting to drop and that's what is putting him in this "funk".

It's been a busy weekend. Yesterday I ran errands and cleaned house. I put a new Thermastat in our bedroom. One night it would be cold and the next boiling hot. We also had church this morning. I got asked to help out with communion. It was my first time and the other 3 helpers were "experienced" So I took the easy way out and collected cups. LOL. After church they had a catered meal for the congregation and it was after 1 before we got home. Good thing the Vikes don't play till tonight!!!

The kids are doing great. We haven't had any serious colds or flus(knock on wood).

Jen

Thursday, October 30, 2003 2:11 PM CST
Chad is feeling a little better each day. He still isn't doing to much and sleeping alot. But overall isn't feeling as bad as he did Tue night. He schedules his day and sleeps while the daycare kids are here so he can be up after school and the evening with our own kids. He has his own "hideaway" upstairs and uses it often.

For those of you that don't know. Mom and Dad and us had switched vehicles while we had the 4-wheeler. Well last Fri Mom took our Van to Maple Lake to clean out Kevin's old apartment. On the way a deer ran into her going full bore. We had an estimate done on it today and the grand total is $3500 in damage. When your a teenager and barrow your parents vehicle the worst thing you can ever imagine doing is "smucking it up". I think Mom reverted back to her "teenage" years when she had to call me and tell me a deer had run into her. LOL. In the end all is well and it will get fixed. The most important thing is that she didn't get hurt. LOVE YOU MOM!!! It's going to be interesting getting all the hunting stuff and kids packed in the neon next weekend though!!!

Jen

Tuesday, October 28, 2003 9:19 PM CST
Chad got Gemcitabine today. He has to go back next Tue to get the Trimatrexate. He is feeling rather icky tonight. He has a fever and is acky all over. He just took 2 Ibuprofren, so hopefully that will help break the fever.

Keep the prayers coming.

Jen

Monday, October 27, 2003 7:06 PM CST
Did someone say snow???

We have gotten over 3 inches of WET, HEAVY snow today. With more coming down.

Chad headed to Fargo about 3 today and just called me a little bit ago to say goodnight. He will be getting chemo tomarrow. He will be getting Trimatrexate(the new one) and Gemcitabine. He is just going to play it by ear and how he is feeling if he comes home tomarrow or stays at his Dad's.

Will let ya know more tomarrow as to how he is feeling.

Jen

Wednesday, October 22, 2003 8:48 PM CDT
Well today had a little twist in things. Yesterday Chad called Fargo to see if he could get in to have an appt with Dr. K. They got him in at 11 today. So I closed daycare for the day to go with.

We talked things over with Dr. K and he has an idea for us. It is a brand new chemo still in the "primitive" stages. But there has been some research into DSRCT and he thinks it is worth a try. I wish I could remember the name of the chemo tonight... but can't. I will call tomarrow and find out and post it here.

So Chad has to get his counts checked on Mon to see if they will be high enough for this new chemo. It's not suppossed to be as hard on the counts as his last treatments. So that's a good thing. There's not much else I can tell you about it, because it is so new. Hopefully after I get the name tomarrow I can do some research and be able to tell you more. We are excited about it.

We desided to go about this change because we just didn't feel we were getting good communication with Parker-Hughes. There were many times that we just felt like we were being "left hanging" and not getting the personal attention we felt Chad is needing at this time.

We totally trust Dr. K. He has always been wonderfull with us and we know that he will do everything he can to prolong Chad's life. It was like coming home when we walked in there today.

We brought Kiah with because we couldn't find a sitter for her on such short notice and she ended up leaving with a teddy bear and blanket. She is going to want to go with to every Appt. Chad has now!!! Tate had school and got to ride home with Ally on the bus. He was not thrilled with the bus and told us "The driver took the long way to Ally's house". LOL.

I want to thank you all for the continued prayers. I do beleive they are working and today is living proof of that. We have a renewed strength and trust we didn't have a couple days ago. God works in many ways. And I do beleive that he is the one that sent us back into Dr. K's hands.

Jen

Monday, October 20, 2003 9:27 PM CDT
Chad had his counts checked today. They are slowly coming up. Again not enough for chemo though. He has to get them checked again Fri. You can tell his counts have come up a little. He's not quite as tired during the day. He's still napping daily though.

Otherwise we are doing good.

Jen

Saturday, October 18, 2003 8:12 AM CDT
What a morning. I am sitting here watching the sun come up over the trees. It's supossed to get up to 66 today. Chad had his counts checked yesterday and they are coming up. Not enough for chemo yet, but coming up. He has to get them checked again on Mon to see if he will get chemo this next week.

Chad and I went out for dinner last night. It was good to get out just the 2 of us and get to talk.

Sometimes things come into your life at just the perfect time. And you know that it was sent from up above. This is one of those times. This past week has been a rough one on us. The realization that Chad's body just isn't going to be able to take chemo has hit us a little hard. I also have been seeing things happening. He's been sleeping alot, has no energy, doesn't want to put on jeans because the waistband pushes on the tumor, just is making this more and more of a "hit in the head" that we have to plan for the unforseen future. And then this came in the mail "Faith gives us an achor in the raging sea, calm in the midst of chaos, vision to know right from wrong, and the courage to express it."

Today I can feel the stress lifted, the "black cloud" gone and literally looking at the bright blue sky. It's all a sign that life will go on. That things will be as they will be. And even though it will get rough and dim looking again, we will be ok.

Jen

Thursday, October 16, 2003 7:11 AM CDT
Chad's counts have come up a little. But not enough for chemo. The other news though is that he is finely getting the ackes again from the shots. Hopefully that is good news.

Other than that not much has been going on. Tate is off school today and tomarrow for MEA. I will have a house full of kids. Kiah is doing well. We have all been fighting a slight cold for the past week. Hopefully that will pass soon. Chad's Dad is coming up on Sun for the Vikings game. It will be good to see him again.

Jen

Friday, October 10, 2003 7:48 PM CDT
NEW PICTURES ARE UP!!!

Hello Everyone,

SOrry this has taken so long to update. You all have ben wondering what is going on the same as us.

Chad had his counts checkd on Mon and they were to low for Chemo. His platlets just don't want to climb. The Dr. says that because of the Stem Cell Transplant it has hindered his marrow from being able to produce like it should. We are kind of at a stand still as to what to do next. He can't have a chemo that will be hard on his marrow. So the Dr is going to start looking for something. He has to get his counts checked again on Tue and we will see where they are at that time.

Second... We got the results of his scans. They were so-so. Dr called it a wash. Some were smaller, some were bigger. We are thinking that we are going to have to start looking at a way to "maintain" the cancer the way it is and go away from trying to "clear" it.

We are just living each day to the fullest and trying our best to carry on with as "normal" of a family as we can be. Our prayers are headed upward. And our trust is in his hands. What will be will be. But we also know that after fighting this for 2 1/2 yrs we are greatful and lucky to have Chad will us now.

We have plans for the weekend. Ann and Alan have invited us to go 4-wheeling with them. We got Mom and Dad's 4-wheeler yesterday to use. And use it we have. Chad has taken it out during the day and I have been taking it out at night. Tate and I went out to the campground and back tonight(12 miles). It was fun and is a great "release".

On a sader note: Tate's hermit crab died today. I actually have to say that I NEVER expected it to last this long. Tate is taking it fairly well and said "Cracks went to live with God".

Jen

Saturday, October 4, 2003 6:02 PM CDT
Things here are ok. Chad went down for his Appt on Wed. They have desided to lower the amount of one of the chemos. Hopefully it won't drop his counts so bad that way. He also told the Dr that he has been having some side aches again. So they kept him over till Thur to do scans. Well he got his CT done on Thur but there PET scan broke down so he had to stay over another night till Fri to get the PET done. He will go back on Wed for the results of them. Hopefully his counts will be high enough that he will also be able to get chemo.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Tuesday, September 30, 2003 9:58 AM CDT
Chad's counts were still to low. He has to meet with the Dr. on Wed. down there. They just want to see him and make sure he is doing ok. We are guessing they will do his labs again when he is down there.

until then...

Sunday, September 28, 2003 5:08 PM CST
Everything is good here. We hosted the Vikings game today. Alan and the kids and Joff and the kids came over. Chad is doing ok. He has had a headache for the last 2 days. He thinks it's from not having to get shots anymore and getting to stop the steroid they gave him to STOP the headaches from coming on when getting the growth hormone shots.

The kids are doing good. Tate had the beginnings of a cold at the beginning of the week, but it seems to have cleared up. Kiah is doing great. We were playing Candyland the other night and she knows her colors very well.

Will let ya know what we find out tomarrow about his counts.

Jen

Monday, September 22, 2003 10:11 PM CDT
Oh how the irony of life can throw twists at every turn. Last week Chad's counts weren't bad at all. A little low for chemo but not bad. They said continue with the shots and we will see ya next week. Today he goes and gets his counts checked and they are LOW. Lower than they were last week. So now we sit. Keep giving the shots and wait another week. And so life goes.

We had a great weekend. Fri night we stayed at my parents. Sat morning we went Pumpkin hunting. We ended up with over 600lbs of pumpkins in the back end of our van. For those of you that care... that means everytime you go over any kind of incline... your mud flaps scrape the pavement, and your van rides with it's front end in the air!!!

Sat evening was the wedding. It was a beautiful day and Steph looked awesome. She was beaming from one ear to the other all day(as a bride should). The kids danced and danced till almost 11 that night. We then went to Pam and Johns to spend the night. Which of course we stayed up way to late visiting.

Sun we got together with old friends. One of the couples had just adopted a baby boy. So I got my baby fix. You would think doing daycare all day mon threw fri I wouldn't want anything to do with kids. But I got to "play" and loved every min of it. The Vikings won and then the dreaded drive home. We were so tired last night I could barely pry myself out of the car. We made it in the house and crashed.

Overall the weekend was a HUGE success. We had fun, ate, danced, and visited with family and friends.

Tonight I had my monthly board meeting for the association. Tomarrow night I got a ticket from a gal to go to the Taste of Home cooking show put on at the college. So it's been a busy weekend and the week is just rolling along.

Enjoy that fall air and the leaves turning. It's so pretty this time of yr.

Jen

Thursday, September 18, 2003 2:12 PM CDT
Chad had his counts checked again and his platlets are still on the low side. So he is still receiving Neumega shots to bring those up. He will get them checked again Mon. to see if they are high enough for chemo. He also has an appt. with the dr. on Thur. He will be going by himself. He didn't have any scans done so I am guessing it is just to see how he is doing.

See you guys after the weekend.

Jen

Tuesday, September 16, 2003 8:50 AM CDT
Chad had his counts checked yesterday. They are good. He has to continue with one shot till Thur when he will get them checked again. He went into work for a bit today. After being home for 2 months I think he is starting to go crazy. So he went in today to get used to thing again and wants to start selling agin tomarrow. It's going to be for limited amounts and there mayb e some days when he doesn't go in at all. But this is going to give him "something to do". Those of you that know Chad know that he is not one to just sit around. He's not going to push himself. ANd he better not or I'll have to kick him in the rear. Any of you guys at work see he's had to much or doing to much, feel free to do the same!!!

This coming weekend will be a busy one. Fri night we will be going down to my parents. Sat evening is a cuz's wedding and that night we will be staying at friends of ours. And then Sun the ol crew is all getting together in Fergus to watch the Game. It will be fun to get to see everyone again.

Take Care,

Jen

Sunday, September 14, 2003 4:26 PM CDT
Sorry I haven't updated this sooner. Not sure where my days are going to. Chad's chemo went well. He's feeling good. He will go in on Tue and have his counts checked again.

We are in the midst of poty training Kiah. She will use it if we ask her if she has to go. If you don't ask. she isn't going to offer!!! But we went and got her some Big Girl Panties. She loves them and does NOT want to get Dora icky. She has had a few mess up's but is trying.

I went out to the camper on Thur night and finished getting it taken care of for winter. It's going to be a long 8 months till we can use it again.

Your welcome to click on the webcam link below. It won't be on while the Daycare kids are here because of security issues. But I will try and have it on in the evenings and weekends.

Jen

Wednesday, September 10, 2003 8:15 AM CDT
Chad is getting chemo today. He went down to the cities yesterday afternoon. He is feeling good. And hopefully he will fly threw this treatment like he did the last.

Our Association had it's first meeting last night. It was a huge success. We had 13 new members! I went out with the pres. and treas. afterwards to perkins and got home WAY to late. I haven't been out that late in a long time.

Tate is still loveing school. He comes home daily telling us about what he has learned. He has TKD tonight. He is loving it. His attention span is a little short for it. Chad said while the teacher is talking to another kid he will be looking around to see what the other classes are doing instead of standing quiet. But we will try it for a little while longer and see how he does.

Kiah is a whole 23lbs now. Her independance is coming out more and more. A friend of mine called her a "wild mustang" and She is so right.

We still need to get out to the camper and get it finished packed up for the winter. We are hopeing that we can do it maybe fri night.

Sunday, September 7, 2003 5:52 PM CDT
The weekend went fast. We went to the camper for the weekend. We didn't go to Threshing as we have for every year for ever and ever. It just didn't work out. We all the intentions of going, but things come up and life happens. This was just one of those years.

Chad as to get his counts checked again on Tue. to see if his platlets are high enough for chemo. They are saying if they arn't high enough they may do an infusion to get them high enough. They have desided to be more aggressive with his chemo now that they have something that is working.

We went to Chad's sisters for the game today. GO VIKES!!!! Way to whoop up on them Packers.

We packed up the camper this weekend. Still need to get out there and disconnect everything, clean, and get the jacks up for the winter. The family that was looking at buying it, backed out. That's ok. We have desided as long as we can make the payments on it, We really want to keep it. We'll see how things work out.

Jen

Thursday, September 4, 2003 9:07 AM CDT
Everything here is going normal. Chad had a CBC done on Tue and his counts were to low for chemo on Wed. Today he has an appt with the owner of Parker Hughes. When we were down there last week our Dr. said he likes to meet with all his new patients. They said they would check to see if he was ready for chemo again. If he is he will stay the night and get chemo in the morning.

Tate started school yesterday. He is loving it. He came home so tired yesterday he could hardly keep his eyes open. But was up at 6 this morning ready to go again. Kiah has been upset. She wants to go with her big brother in the worst of ways.

Jen

P.S. I am trying to clean up our email address book. Anyone who reads this and wants to be in our address book. Please email us with name, address, and phone. THANKS!!!

Monday, September 1, 2003 2:14 PM CDT
Happy Labor Day!!!

I"m so sorry this hasn't been updated sooner. It has been a whirl wind of a week. Thur we had Chad's appt. and the Vikings game.

We found out from the scans that the cancer is shrinking from his liver. It doesn't seem to be affecting the big tumor, but it's great news to know his liver is clearing up. They will be continuing with the same treatments. We also talked to the head Dr. and I explained my frustration. He said it is totally acceptible for me to be upset. We now have some "free will" on his shots. He looked at Chad and said "you know when you have had to much". SOOOOO He gets his counts done again tomarrow morning. If they arn't up We have the option of doing them and letting them know what we are doing.

The vikings game was great. It was alot of fun. We had a good chance of being on TV, but Chad didn't get the game taped so We aren't sure if we were or not. Just our luck!!! LOL

Fri we went to the state fair for about 3 hrs. I enjoyed it. But by the time we left Chad was a glob of goo. He slept the whole way home. By the time we got home it was so late all we did was go straight to the lake.

Sat We went and got the kids from Miss and Joffs. They said they were really good. And then finished out the weekend at the lake.

We just got home a little while ago. We now have Miss and Joff's kids. Miss called this morning and asked if we could take them. Joff's dad had a heart attack. So please keep them in your prayers.

Have a great night everyone

Jen

Tuesday, August 26, 2003 8:30 AM CDT
Chad is doing well. He got his chemo yesterday, but not without having to put up a fight for it. He went down by himself on Sun. Mon he went over to get treatment and they did another CBC. The Dr. said that one part of his white counts wasn't high enough. Said he wasn't going to get chemo. So Chad talked to his nurse because they had already given him Benydryl(so he wouldn't be able to come home either way) and she called his head Dr. He gave her the ok to go ahead and give it.

Sometimes I wonder. They know Chad HAS to get chemo to keep him alive, but yet some of the Dr.'s are so leary of giving it to hom if one little thing isn't perfect. Or if his numbers aren't JUST right. This is a guy who was supposed to be getting chemo 2 weeks in a row and then 1 week off, then 2 weeks again. But they won't give him the shots to get his counts to rebound enough to do that. When he has gotten chemo before they would give him 10 days of shots. Now he is only getting 3 days. Then they stop the shots to let his body do it on it's own. THEY KNOW HIS BODY CAN'T DO IT ON IT'S OWN!!! I dont get it. But I guess that's why I'm not the Dr.

Many people don't know that his cancer will DOUBLE in size every 28 days. 6 weeks ago when he was diagnosed he had 80% of his liver infected and a 15cm tumor. Now 6 weeks later... if they hadn't done something to get it to stop growing.... he wouldn't be here. So obviously the first 2 rounds of chemo did SOMETHING. So I just don't understand why they don't give him a few more days of shots so they can continue hitting his cancer like they wanted to.

Oh well... enough ranting.

Jen

P.S. Look for us at the Vikings Game on Thur. night. We are in section 117 which is just to the right of where the vikings come out onto the field. We will be to the left of the goal posts. We have 1st row seats!!!

Friday, August 22, 2003 3:50 PM CDT
Chad got his Pet scan done. So now we wait. We will find out the results on the 28th. He is headed home with mom. He should be here anytime.

We will be headed to the lake for the weekend. Only 3 weekends left to enjoy it and then they shut it down for the season. We have enjoyed it sooooooo much this summer that to see it end is going to be hard.

Take care everyone and soak up those rays.... -20 will be here before we know it.

Jen

Thursday, August 21, 2003 9:11 PM CDT
Chad is in Roseville. He was going to go by himself this morning. But he went out to the car and came in 15 min later saying "I better call your mom". SO she came and got him.

He got his CT scan done. They also did a CBC and his platlets are good to go. He is scheduled for chemo on Mon. His red blood cells are still hanging low and making him tired and dizzy. They gave him a shot for that today as well.

He gets his PET scan in the morning and will be home sometime in the afternoon.

have a good evening everyone,

Jen

Wednesday, August 20, 2003 9:30 PM CDT
Hello Everyone,

Chad is feeling kind of crappy. They started him on new growth hormone shots yesterday to try and up the platlets. He got a headache shortly after getting it and it has stayed with him all day. He also got sick today. Not sure why. He has been a blob around the house. They said not to give him the shot today and tomarrow he has to take benydryl and tylenol before he gets it. He also has to drive to the Roseville tomarrow for scans. We talked to Mom tonight and if he's still feeling crappy in the morning, she said she would take him down. It would be a huge help. I am afraid of him not feeling good and having to drive 4 hrs.

The rest of the house is good. Things are as "normal" as they can be.

Take care,

Jen

Monday, August 18, 2003 10:50 AM CDT
Sorry I haven't updated sooner. I only had 2 kids on Fri so I talked to there parents and we were out at the lake on Fri. It was a HOT weekend. We spent it at the beach. It was a fun time. We only have 4 weekends left to be out there before the season ends. We will only be there for 3 of them. The other one will be at Threashing in Dalton.

Chad's Uncle, and cuz's are back from Nebraska visiting. He took the kids and went to D.L. to see them today. I only have 3 kids here today. Kind of a nice lazy day. I have had several calls for daycare in the past week. I have an interveiw on Fri for a 3rd grader for after school. I would like to pick up 1 more being I will be loosing 1 to school. We'll see. I'm not pushing to find any and they will have to fit into the daycare before I take them.

Chad's platlets are still low. He has to go down on Thur and Fri for scans.

Take care everyone and stay cool.

Jen

Thursday, August 14, 2003 2:56 PM CDT
Everything is going good. Chad is having the usual dizzy spells. But is feeling good enough that he golfed 18 holes(with a cart) yesterday. He was wore out last night though. He said he golfed one of his best games ever.

We have been staying at the camper all week. I come home during the day for daycare and then in the evening go back out and stay the night. It's been a nice change. And a GREAT week to do it.

I found out today Tate got the Teacher we wanted. He is so excited.

We also found out today that Chad will have to go down on the 21st and 22nd for scans. But then we don't have to go back down till the 28th. Originally we were suppossed to go down the 25th for Dr.s appt. But I called and rescheduled it for the 28th. It will save us a trip and I will be able to do a few more days of daycare. I will only have to take off the 28th and 29th instead of a week and a half.

Enjoy the sunshine everyone,

Jen

P.S. I need to send out thank yous to a few of Chad's clients. We have been receiving well wishes from some of them. One of which was a viking cookie bouquet. It was so cute I HAD to take a pic. As soon as I get the chance I will post it on here for you all to see.

Monday, August 11, 2003 9:03 AM CDT
Things here are good. We had a great weekend at the lake. Chad is feeling good. We stayed at the lake last night and I got up early and came home for daycare this morning. Think the plan is the same for tonight. It's suppose to be a great week with no rain.

Mom and Dad came up on Kevins bike on Sat and suprised us. We had a nice visit. Tate had a B-day party to go to Sat evening. Yesterday a few of the girls at the campground needed haircuts. So I go tout my old sissors and went to work. When it was all over and done with I had done 7 haircuts. They all treated Chad and I last night and sent us out for supper and they watched the kids. We went to union station. It was a geat meal and nice time to just get away.

Vikings lost but there 1st string looked good. Hopefully that's good news.

Have a great day everyone,

Jen

Friday, August 8, 2003 2:13 PM CDT
Things here are quiet. Chad talked to Parker Hughes this morning. He has to get his blood tested again Tue. to see if the counts are climbing.

We are headed to the campground for the weekend. Chad was loosing his hair so bad this morning that we shaved the rest off. His pillow was gross. So he's back to wearing his bandanas.

Have a great weekend everyone

Thursday, August 7, 2003 10:43 AM CDT
Things are wearing on Chad a little more. He's got very little energy and is spending most of the day resting and napping. He did manage to mow the lawn yesterday. I still need to go out with the push mower though and do the trimming.

He went in this morning to get his blood counts checked. Will find out the results later on today. But he is starting to get the acky feeling that goes with the growth hormone shots... so hopefully that's a good sign.

The kids are doing good. There healthy and happy. I think they are glad to be home and back to normal. Not much else has been going on. I have a board meeting for the ACCP on Mon. Last night we went and had family pictures taken. Chad has begun loosing his hair and we figured we better get it done before he has lost it all. The first preseason viking game is Sat. Chad is very excited to know there will be football on TV again. He watched a game from last yr the other day.

Enjoy the sunshine.

Tuesday, August 5, 2003 7:40 PM CDT
Sometimes in life when things look like it's all going downhill, someone or thing will pop into your life to remind you that you are never alone. And it's at those times when you know that the world really is a caring and loving place.

I need to send a HUGE thank you out to several people. To our suprise tonight 3 fellow providers showed up at our doorstep. They had been scemeing without my knowledge and did a food drive for us. They brought in bag after bag after box after box of food and supplies. It was more than I could ever imagine. I own more cake mixes now than I ever have in my life!!! LOL

So this special journal entry goes out to:
Caryn (from an email list I am on)
Annette Smieji (also from the list)
Jeanie Jacobson
Linda Anderson
Roberta Stout
Erma Ward
Peggy Lindsey
Penny Evans
Shelly Fredriksen
Linda Spindler
Linda Caron
Kathy LeClaire
Bonnie Larson
Michelle Storey
Cheryl Colford
and one of my families the Rodgers

I want to thank each and every one of you. You have no idea what it means to us. The kids went crazy tonight with there new toys. They blew bubbles till it was dark and are carrying there new beanies around with them.

Tuesday, August 5, 2003 8:09 AM CDT
As we thought. Chad didn't receive chemo yesterday. His platlets were still to low. There was a screw up someplace between Meritcare and Parker Hughes. PH says they never got the fax. Who knows. You could point fingers all day, but it's not going to get you anywheres. It's over. Chad has to go in on Thur. and have them checked again to see if there high enough.

Chad's mom brought him home yesterday and stayed over. Miss, Joff and the kids came over for supper. It is a nice evening of visiting.

I guess we can look at the good side. Chad gets a few more days of feeling good. The bad side is that this delay may screw things up for Tate starting school, and Threshing.
Oh well.... we'll worry about that bridge when it gets here.

Sunday, August 3, 2003 8:19 PM CDT
Chad is off. He headed for the cities with his Mom about 1:30 today. We met them just south of Bemidji. The good thing was I didn't have to make a 4 hr car ride with the kids, the bad thing was Chad had to ride to D.L. before heading to the cities! I just talked to him a few min ago and he was feeling good other than a small headache. They were jsut about to the cities, so hopefully they can get a good nights rest.

We never did get a call from Paker Hughes on Fri. So we have no idea whether or not he is getting chemo tomarrow. I sure hope he doesn't get down there and they say "come back on Wed".

We had a fun weekend. I did the wedding party on Sat. which was a blast. After doing Heather and Melinda's hair for every other big event they have had. It only felt right that I do Melinda's wedding as well. The kids danced till they couldn't anymore. Kiah was sooooooo tired. I have to once again commend Sands. Not only do they know how to raise the best kids in the world, they know how to do a wedding. It was gorgeous. I can't say enough about our wonderful neighbors. They are the best neighbors you could ever have. Everything from watching our dog, house, and picking up the mail to having the best babysitters in the world. They are one of the most caring and loving families I know of. I wish for Melinda and Barrett the love of God to look over them for many yrs to come.

Back to daycare tomarrow. I have so many openings right now though that it doesn't even seem like work. I only have 4 kids, 6 with my 2. Which to some may sound like alot. But there ages are 17m, 16m, 12m, 2yrs, 5yrs, and 5 yrs. And as of Sept 2nd when school starts I will be loosing the 2 5 yr olds. They are starting all day every day kindergarden in Bemidji this yr. And the one 5 yr old I will only get back on school vacations. Also the 17m has dropped to 3 days a week. So it's pretty easy going around here right now. I would like to pick up some more kids, but it's so hard with Chad's situation right now. I need to get parents who are going to understand that I am going to need a week or so off every few weeks for appts with him. I'm lucky right now. The parents I have are very understanding and we have a great relationship between parent and provider.

Ok... I have rambled enough tonight.

Jen

P.S. I need to say a big HI to any of Chad's customers that are joining the page. Chad made sure to tell me to send a special note out to you all. (For those of you that don't know... Jim sent out a letter to all 500(YES 500!!!) past cutomers of Chad's and gave them the addy to the page to help them stay updated on Chad's progress). Chad has worked hard over the past 6 yrs at BCC to make each and every one of his customers not only customers but friends.

Friday, August 1, 2003 8:55 AM CDT
Chad is doing well this week. He has not been sick and is getting more and more energy each day. Yesterday he was at work for 6 hrs and then went grocery shopping for me and then last night went to the fair with the kids and I. He was tired by the time we got home and went to bed right away, but I was impressed he made it all day.

Today he has to go back to the clinic to get another blood check. His platlets are low and they arn't sure if he will be able to get chemo on Mon or not. So they are going to check it today and see where they are at.

The kids had a great time at the fair last night. Tate went on rides and more rides. Kiah was scared of the animals. She would cling to your leg when we walked into a barn.

Tonight we will be headed out to the lake. Tomarrow I have to be home by 12 to do Melinda and her wedding party's hair. The wedding is at 6. And then Sun we will either we headed to Mills so Chad can get to the cities, or we will be going to Twin Valley to watch Roy team pen.

Have a great weekend everyone,

Jen

Wednesday, July 30, 2003 12:45 AM CDT
Chad is doing well. He is feeling good and eating more at a meal than he was a month ago. He has had more energy this week and looks better.

He had to go in this morning for a blood check and found out his counts are on there way up so hopefully he won't have to have an infusion.

The kids are doing good. The fair is in town this week. Hopefully we will get over there one night.

Keep the prayers coming. They seem to be working!!!

Monday, July 28, 2003 8:33 AM CDT
Sorry....

I need to apoligize for leaving you all hanging since Thur. We went out to the campground Fri evening and stayed till last night. Chad left yesterday about 12 for the cities. He went to my parents first and met John there. Then the 2 of them continued on there way. Chad has been having some bouts of diarrea. He also threw up twice this weekend. The pain has subsided in his back. He was feeling really good Sat night and I couldn't get him to go to bed. He was up till 12:30 with us by the fire. He told me "I feel good, so I'm going to take advantage of it."

I made a small acomplishment yesterday. We were all swimming at the beach when the owner came down and said she was going for a swim. We have kided her many times this summer if it was going to "be her day", because she has swam across the lake 6 times. Well yesterday, Jeff, Her, I, and 2 teenagers did it. We swam across the lake and had to touch the shore just to say we made it the whole way. Our next thing is going to be to swim back. We figured it was about a 1/2 mile across. I actually did well and wasn't tired at all. I'm not sore today either. When I talked to Chad last night and told him he said "Why would you do a silly thing like that for?" LOL

Have a great day everyone,

Jen

P.S. Chad & Wanda... Sorry we missed you guys yesterday. Thank you for the card. We need to give you guys the directions to the lake!!!

Thursday, July 24, 2003 7:23 PM CDT
Hi Everyone,

Chad has been feeling the effects a little more last night and today. He was sick 3 times yesterday. Today he hasn't been sick, but his back is bothering him. He says he's getting sharp pains threw the back area.

Today we also started his growth hormone shots again. He will get them for 4 days. I also did some calling today to see if they could do his bloodwork and checkup here in Bemidji on Mon. instead of having to go all the way back to Roseville. They said the rest of his treatments he should be able to do that, but being this is his first checkup after the chemo they want to see him. So Chad and John are going to go together. They will go down Sun night again and see the Dr. Mon morning.

Our new Pastor came by today for a visit. He was here about an hr. He is a really nice guy and full of laughs. We clued him in on all that Chad has been threw. He said that we are a true testament to God's faith with the additude we have.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003 12:49 AM CDT
Sorry I haven't updated sooner. Chad is doing well. He is tired and his side has been bothering him some, but he's not sick. He went out to the camper today.

Daycare is going great. I think the little munchkins missed each other. There has been little to no fights and they are being little angels.

Chad has to go back to Parker Hughes on Mon for a check up. No chemo just a blood check and some fluids. We are thinking he is going to drive himself, will have to see how he is feeling at that time. The week after his Mom is going to take him down for treatment. We are trying to line up drivers so that I don't have to close daycare again.

It's a beautiful mostly sunny day today and it just makes you smile and be thankful for the things you have. Take advantage of every day you have with the ones you love. Don't forget to tell the ones you love how much you care.

Monday, July 21, 2003 8:59 AM CDT
Good morning,

Things here are well. I talked to Chad last night and he said the Twins won and he was feeling good. He should be getting ready to get chemo now. He had to be there at 8:30 and they always have to do blood work before hand. He said he was going to call at some point during the day when he gets bored. But I am sure it won't be till this afternoon... They give him a dose of Benydryl before treatment and that makes him sleep for a good 4 hrs. LOL.

Sat night was great. Jim suprised us and also invited our best friends Ann & Alan and Chad's sister Melissa and her husband Joff. At ended up being a wonderful night and lots of great company. No tears were shed and it was just a celebration for Chad.

It's also nice to be back to work again. I have missed the little munchkins. And I think they have missed each other. They are all playing great today. I was given a hug by one and told I was missed and better than there "other daycare". LOL

Have a great day everyone

Saturday, July 19, 2003 12:39 AM CDT
Everything here is good. I got all the cleaning and prep work done that I needed to do. About 3 yesterday Chad and I looked at each other and said "Let's go to the lake". So we packed up the kids and some food and headed out to the camper for the night. It went well and Chad is feeling ok.

We came home now because I have to do a neighbor's practice updo for her wedding on Aug. 2nd. And then tonight we have a sitter coming over to watch the kids while we go to the party for Chad.

Tomarrow Chad will head back to the cities with his dad. Roy is coming up and picking Chad up and they are going to go to the twins game Sun and then chemo on Mon. He will be home late Mon night sometime.

We made a choice to also sell our camper. There is a family out at the campground that is wanting to get into something bigger. And our only concern is that we can use it the rest of the season. So they are going to buy it from us at the end of the season. There are always more campers out there and if we are in the position next summer to get another we can always do that.

Take care everyone and hug and kiss the ones important to you.

Thursday, July 17, 2003 9:30 PM CDT
Hello,

We made it home. We got home about 1:30. I have managed to mow the lawn, use the chainsaw to cut some branches that were driving me crazy(got me on the mower), go grocery shopping, and get my hair cut today. Still need to put the groceries away(I'm procrastinating) and start some laundry.

BCC is having a get together Sat night for Chad. I can't stress enough just how wonderfull each and every one of his co-workers are. Chad also got a card tonight from the crew at TKD. Everyone had signed it wishing him well.

Chad had a fairly good day(till tonight). Tonight he has been feeling icky and thrown up once with I'm sure a second round coming soon. He doesn't have a fever but his body can't deside whether it wants to be hot or cold. He put on and took off a sweatshirt 3 times in 5 min. He also said he is getting what is like hicups, that is what is making him feel so icky. Each time he hicups he comes close to throwing up.

Well I better get to my groceries before everything is thawed.

Wednesday, July 16, 2003 10:56 AM CDT
Chad is currently receiving his next chemo. He was not feeling well this morning. He slept well, but this morning woke up complaining of heartburn. By the time we got over here for his next treatment. We let the nurse know how he was feeling and she went to get him some meds. But she didn't make it back in time. He threw up pretty bad. The good news is after he did that he felt better and they got some meds into him and he's feeling good now.

Our plans are to go back to Mills today and spent the night there. Tomarrow we will go home. We are going to take things slow. These drugs are notorius for making people throw up. So we are just going to take our time as he is feeling up to it.

Again I want to thank you all for our support. Caring bridge is a life saver for us. We love to read your guestbook entries and lets Chad know that people are thinking of him. This website has not only become a way for you all to be informed, but also a way for me to be able to keep my sanity. I check many times a day to see if anyone else has left a new msg. And it's that strength that I get from you all to keep Chad and I going. There has been many times when I just want to break down and scream at the world and I know I can't do that. I need to be strong for Chad right now there will be plenty of time for my self pity later. I know the Lord above is looking out for us and doing what he thinks is best. And that is something Chad and I lean on daily. We have not once done the "why us" or the " I can't beleive he is doing this to us" game. We made a promise to stay by his side no matter what happens. And that it's not his fault.

Ok I have ranted enough.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003 5:19 PM CDT
Chad received one of the chemos today and will get the other one in the morning. They said the first time they like to give them one at a time in case he should have a reaction they know which one caused it. They also sent us home with a pharmacy full of drugs.

He is going to be taking:
Vit A
L-Glutamine
Soy
Vit B-6
Leucovorin
SMZ/TMP
Lovenox
Oxycodone
Zofran
Lukine

He is feeling good tonight. We went out for supper after his treatment and ate well.

Chad talked to his Dad today and he is going to bring Chad down for his treatment next Mon. This way I can start daycare back up and get some sort of "normal" back in our lives.

I want to thank you all for the wonderful well wishes and prayers. It is wonderfull to know that we have a great support system. Chad and I have said many MANY times that there is no way we would be able to get threw this without each and every on of you. THANK YOU

Monday, July 14, 2003 5:39 PM CDT
NEW PICS ARE UP

Back in Roseville,

Met with the Dr. today. He was very honest with us and told us 2 things. 1... The cancer is advanced and 2... that can be a good thing cause it's easier to treat. They figure only 20is liver is working right now. As it advances his body won't be able to seperate the "junk" in the liver and will start circulating threw his body. As this happens they said his mind will start to go. He will start forgetting things easily and then it will continue to progress. They figure his time is short unless we can get something to work.

Tomarrow they are starting chemo. He will receive a treatment once a week... so tomarrow and next Mon. Then they will give him a 2 week break. He will be getting 2 different chemos Irinotecan and Cisplatin. They have had good luck with these chemos in other "childhood cancers". We will be able to go home Wed. They want us to hang around one extra day this first time to make sure he is doing alright. Next week we will drive down Sun night, get treatment Mon. and come home that night.

Thursday, July 10, 2003 3:39 PM CDT
Hello Everyone,

It has been busy since I last updated. Yesterday morning Chad had a port put in and biopsy done. He was released from the hospital and we headed back to my parents.

This morning we went to Fergus for a funeral. Bob Olson(chad's great uncle) passed away. He had been fighting cancer since 01'. He actually passed away from complications of the cancer and not the cancer itself.

Tomarrow we are going to go down to the family lake home on Eagle and spend the weekend. Mon we have to be back in Roseville for a meeting with the Dr to find out the results of the testing they are doing on the biopsy. And Tue CHad has an Appt. with the surgeon to check his wounds. After that we don't know what will be happening. We hope they will be starting chemo and we can go home and get life under control again for a few weeks. But here's to wishing...

Jen

Tuesday, July 8, 2003 2:36 PM CDT
Hello Everyone,

We are in Roseville. Chad had a consult today with the surgeon that will be doing his biopsy. They set it up for 7:30 tomarrow morning. We have to be at Fairview Medical Center at 5:30.

We will probably be headed to Mills or the lake home after that. We will have to report back here on Mon the 14th with our new oncologist Dr. Dayton. They should then be able to get chemo going on Chad.

We are staying at Comfort Inn in Roseville for the night. It's a nice place and is right next door to Parker Hughes.

Chad has his PET scan today at 5:00 pm.

Sunday, July 6, 2003 9:47 PM CDT
Hello Everyone,

Happy Belated 4th!!!

We had a quiet weekend. We desided Thur to come home and go to the lake and have some "family" time. It was good for us. We had a great weekend with the kids and time to enjoy the sun and relax. Pat(Chad's Mom) came up to stay Sat. night with us at the camper. We had a nice visit.

Sat night I also got to take a little trip... to the ER again.... I said I don't want this to become a Sat night ritual. But Kiah was miserable. She hadn't eaten or drank anything all day. Her little eyes were showing how bad she felt and all she did was cry and whine. So off I went with her. 5 hrs later we find out that it is Herpes Symplex 1 AND ear infection. They gave her the new shot for the ears along with Zithromax. And they also gave her a script for lanicane(a numbing drug) for her mouth. She was 10,000 times better today. She was herself and happy and playing agian.

I got my poison Ivy meds and they are working great.

Chad is feeling good with little to no pain.

I think we may all be on the road to recovery(knock on wood).

We also sat down with Tate this weekend and explained to him that Daddy's owie is back and that the dr's don't think they will be able to fix it. This was the hardest talk we have ever had to have. But he understands that Daddy is going to get sicker and sicker and have to go with with god. He and Chad went to Joff and Miss's today for a few min and Tate blurted out to Ally and Brandon that "Daddy is going to die". This is going to be a rough road for him and us. But we wanted to give him as much notice as possible. No suprises. He came up with a question on his own tonight though "Mommy","Are you going to have to find a new Daddy?" I broke down crying and Chad came over and explained to him that maybe someday a long time from now I might, but not anytime soon. But I think it's good to be homest with him and not just have it sprung on his someday. It's not going to be easy answering all his questions, but it's better this way.

Jen

Thursday, July 3, 2003 12:52 AM CDT
Hello Everyone,

We are going to work with Parker Hughes. They had a few more options and ideas than Mayo. We have to be back down there Tue. morning to talk to the surgeon that will be taking a biopsy of the tumor, and to have a PET scan done. Then after they do the Biopsy it will take 48-72 hrs to find out which chemos they think will work on it. And then after that Chad will start Chemo.

Kiah has had a small problem of her own. She has developed mouth sores on her lower lip. She looks aweful with big white blotchy spots all over it. She reminds me of a baby with a bad case of trush.

I have also came down with my own things... I have a bad case of poison ivy and am headed to the Dr in a few min to try and get something for it.

The only healthy one is Tate.

Oh well.... As the world turns at the Martinson's.

Jen

Wednesday, July 2, 2003 10:38 AM CDT
I am going to add a journal now because I am not sure if I will be able to do it later. We are about to leave Rochester and head for Roseville. We have an Appt at 3:30. Depending on what they tell us we will:
1. Be staying there
2. Headed for our family lake cabin
3. Headed to Kevins to spend the night.
4. Head to Fargo

I should be able to update this at all the places EXCEPT the lake cabin.

We had to do a little extra running this morning. We hadn't signed a release form here at Mayo for them to release records to Parker Hughes. So it was a good thing we stayed down here the extra day.

Say a prayer,

Jen

Tuesday, July 1, 2003 1:48 PM CDT
We got an Appt at Parker Hughes tomarrow at 3:30.

Today we are just hanging out in our room and talking about ideas and thoughts.

We went and saw Bob this morning. He was put back on the ventilator last night because the CO2 in his body was to high. This morning they moved him back into ICU. But his color was much better and he was awake and trying to talk to us. The kids were going to be coming down today to see him. Elaine has been talking alot about trying to get him back to Fergus.

Monday, June 30, 2003 2:56 PM CDT
Saw the Dr. this morning. With the amount of cancer inside Chad there is little in options. He is not qualifing for and clinical trials because of the invasion in the liver. They only thing they came up with is a new drug combo that can be done in Fargo. So if nothing else comes about that will be the next thing we do.

So our next idea is to contact Parker Hughes in Roseville. We are currently waiting for a phone call from them. We are hopeing to get an appt with them tomarrow. Will let you know if that happens.

They gave Chad 2 prescriptions for Morphine(1 time released, 1 immediate) for pain.

Gonna go see Bob and Elaine now at St. Mary's. We were there for a short time this morning, but had to leave for an appointment. His color is good, but is not staying awake for long. They had to give him lasix yesterday to help get rid of the fluid he is retaining. Still no idea what is causing the fluid though.

Sunday, June 29, 2003 8:52 PM CDT
My how life can change in a matter of 24 hrs.

Last Thur Chad started having a few pains in his side, but not bad enough to bother him. By Sat. night he was in pain. I MADE him go to the ER and 8 hrs later we have found out that his cancer has returned and has invaded his liver along with 2 other tumors. We are now in Rochester. I have YET to sleep since yesterday morning. The kids are with my parents along with C.J.(it's a pakage deal).

We will be calling our Dr. tomarrow and maybe have some answers for you all tomarrow. Keep tuned to here. I will post anything new as soon as I find it out.

Take care everyone and keep those prayers going. There needed more now than ever.

Jen

Wednesday, June 25, 2003 8:04 AM CDT
Hello Everyone,

Things here are busy. I have desided to be captain of the ACCP's Relay for Life in Bemidji. So I will now be going to more meetings and getting that organized. The walk is on Aug. 15th. Anyone that would like to donate can let me know and I will add you to the list. We can also do luminaries in someones name who is either surviving or passed from cancer. The luminaries are $5.

Chad is doing well. He is feeling great and doing TKD 2 nights a week.

The kids are wonderful and turning into little fish. They LOVE being in the water at the lake. Kiah is starting to talk so that you can unnderstand her. I can make out almost everything she says now....(and she has ALOT to say). Tate is getting into Pokemon and is getting very excited about school already. He asks almost daily when he is going to be able to go. They are going to be doing all day everyday Kindergarden this fall. I think it will be great for him.

Hope you all are enjoying the summer.

Jen

P.S. This email was sent to me from CaringBridge. I wanted to post it to you all, it has been a HUGE lifesaver for us. So if this is how I can help, then it's what I will do.

From CaringBridge:
We need your help. Thanks to the continued 'spread the word' of CaringBridge - we have had tremendous growth. As the organization continues to grow and improve the service, the need for additional funding increases. Thanks to those that have contributed or 'spread the word' in the past.

Please consider helping in the following ways.

(1) Make a tax-deductible donation directly to CaringBridge. 92.3 percent of CaringBridge spending goes directly back to support the families that use CaringBridge. Only 7.7 percent of revenue goes to administration and fundraising activities. Send your tax-deductible contribution to -
CaringBridge
4607 Beacon Hill, Suite 200
Eagan, MN
55122-2702
or donate online at: http://www.caringbridge.org/donate
Don't forget to check with your employer for matching gifts policy.

(2) Refer CaringBridge to foundations or others that might be interested in supporting families that use CaringBridge.
http://www.caringbridge.org/foundation-info.htm

(3) Encourage an organization - hospital, hospice, adoption agency, long-term care facility, faith-based organization, school or employer - to sponsor families to use the service. We'd be happy to send some information about CaringBridge to you or these facilities.
Request more information at:
http://www.caringbridge.org/sponsorship-info.htm

(4) Spread the word about CaringBridge - tell family and friends about this service. Contact us if you would like to introduce CaringBridge to a group.
This group could be at work, school, your faith-based
organization, a support group or any other organization. We have materials that are a great way to introduce families to CaringBridge.
http://www.caringbridge.org/interested.htm
http://www.caringbridge.org/tellFriend.htm

See more information online at: http://www.caringbridge.com/helpcb.htm

CaringBridge is a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing a global community of care through the journals and guestbook entries of thousands of
people. We are funded by donations, grants and sponsorships. We have provided more than 10,000 free Web sites to loved ones - resulting in more
than 30 million visits and more than 1.4 million messages of support.

Thank you for your support.

Monday, June 16, 2003 9:20 PM CDT
Hello Everyone,

Things here are good. We had a great weekend.

Nothing new as far as Chad. The end of July he will have another CT. Until then we will just enjoy the summer.

On a sad note. My Great Grandmother passed away last night. She had lived a full wonderfull life. She always was full of energy and spunk. She even had her sense of humor up till the end. We will miss her. But now she can look down from above and watch her family grow that lived so far away, but loved her just the same.

Jen

Monday, June 16, 2003 8:58 PM CDT
Hello Everyone,

Everything here is good. Summer is wizzing by. Tonight Ann, Alan, Adam, Siri, Melissa, Joff, Ally, Brandon, and Jake came over for supper. We had a great evening having our usual cabob fest. We always eat till we can't eat anymore.

Sun we met Mom, Dad, Jamie, Travis, Brenden, Kevin and Grandpa and Grandma Hanson in Dorset at Companeros for dinner.

And other than that have spent every weekend at the camper. It's such a relaxing, wonderfull time out there. There are more kids than adults. Tate and Kiah have both met friends. Tate will take off in the morning and other than coming back to tell me where he is going next or to eat, is with his buddies playing at the playground, in the sand, running around, or ridding his bike.

Kiah sticks close to me. But just 2 campers down there is a little girl that comes out to see her grandma. You will often find the 2 of them playing together either at our camper or their's.

A bit of sad news... My Great Grandma passed away last night. As I was talking to Jamie about earlier this week... When you think about the "typical" Grandma she was it. White hair, small frame, and knitting. But she had lived a full life, and will be remembered for her "get up and go". She was a Grandma who always was full of engergy and always happy. May she be able to now look down on us and be able to watch the rest of her family grow that lived so far away from her. But loved her just the same.

Jen

Friday, June 6, 2003 8:33 AM CDT
Hello Everyone,

Things here are good. Tate had VBS this week. We had his program last night. The rest of the week has been normal. Just a busy summer. With chad having TKD tue and thur and going out to the camper every fri. It only leaves us mon and wed nights to do anything.

We are taking vac the week after the 4th. Chad is off the 4th but has to work sat. So we will be coming down to the family lake home sat night. Pam also has vac that week and I think we are planning on getting together for a couple days that week. They will get to see what it is like with a 2 and 5 yr old... They will never want kids after that. LOL

I got asked to be the newsletter editor for the local child care association. That has kept me busy for the last week or so. But I am going to enjoy it. I actually was nominated for Sec. but I turned that down because we didn't know what was going to be happening with Chad at the time. Then after getting back from Mayo I was asked to do the newsletter.

Hope everyone is enjoying the wonderfull weather.

Jen

P.S. I need to ask for a special prayer. My great grandmother is currently dieing from lung cancer. My Mom and Aunt were out to see her last week and Mom says it's not going to be long. She says she is comfortable and still has her spirits. Any prayers to make her passing any more comfortable and painless would be wonderfull. Not many people get to have a great grandmother till they are 30 yrs old.

Tuesday, May 27, 2003 9:24 PM CDT
Hello Everyone,

I wanted to wait till tonight to put a new journal in. Chad had testing tonight for TKD. He passed. He is now a Green belt. I am so proud of him. The kick he had to do was TOUGH. Out of the 4 in his class only 2 made it.

We had a wonderfull weekend at the camper for Memorial. No rain and all sunshine. Jason and Vicki, and Tom and Mary came out with their kids for the weekend. And Mom, Dad, and Grandma and Grandpa Hanson came out Sat. They brought the boat and we got to get out on the lake for the first time. Chad was up WAY to late all 3 nights. But being we haven't been able to get together with them for over a yr I guess it is allowed. LOL. The kids had a great time. THey were so over tired by Sat. night that by Mon afternoon we were saying "let's go home".

Hope everyone is having a good spring.

Jen

Sunday, May 18, 2003 7:39 PM CDT
Today is Chad and I's 7th anniversary. It's a day that almost 2 years ago I never thought I would see. It's been a wonderfull day.

We spend the weekend at the camper. The kids went SWIMMING!!! I couldn't beleive it. We went down there to play in the sand and little by little they inched there way into the water. Dressed!!! Oh well, your only young once. LOL. They also had the first waterskier on the lake and tubing on Sat. WASN'T ME!!! LOL. I thought they were crazy. But boys will be boys!!!.

The kids are extremely tired tonight. They are both in bed. And I am not going to be far behind them!!!

Have a great week everyone,

Jen

Wednesday, May 14, 2003 9:55 PM CDT
Hello Everyone,

Things here are great. Chad is well, the kids are growing like weeds, and I am loving everything about life right now.

We spent our first weekend in the camper last weekend. It was wonderfull. Can't wait for Fri to come to get out there again. Actually... I have to confess... I went grocery shopping tonight and made up an excuse to take the groceries out to the camper and just hung out for a little while. It was so peacefull and quiet. 15 min of tranquility does the body and soul good.

We had our local Childcare Assoc. meeting last night. I got nominated to be secretary. I turned it down and offered to take the newsletter instead. So I will be part of the board this next yr.

Enjoy the sunshine,

Jen

Wednesday, May 7, 2003 7:43 PM CDT
We got the results from the Biopsy today. There was no sign of cancer. Also no sign of anything else. So who knows what they are seeing on his CT. But they Dr. says it's a good thing.

They are going to do another CT the end of July just to check things out. It can be done here and then send Mayo a copy.

Things here are going good. The kids are healthy and Tate can't wait to go camping this weekend. I told him it's going to be to cold to go swimming, but I don't think it has sunk in yet. Tate got a new pet tonight. We went and got him a Hermit Crab. He has named it Cracks because of the crease it has in it's shell. He's pretty excited. Grandma has snails in her aquarium and he has been bugging us to get some. So this was my solution.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Saturday, May 3, 2003 8:35 PM CDT
Hello Everyone,

We made it home safe. We didn't get home till this morning. After getting to Mom and Dad's yesterday to pick up the kids we sat down for supper. At supper Chad said he wasn't feeling well and needed help to the couch. As I was helping him across the room he passed out. He also was running a fever of 101. The nurses said this was something that COULD happen because of the anestesia he had been given earlier in the day. But he really wasn't feeling good after coming to and so we desided to stay there for the night.

He's been doing much better today. Only once tonight(at supper again) did he have a slight dizzy spell. He was blowing on Tate's food(to cool it off) and he set the plate down and said he was dizzy.

We will find out next week the results of the biopsy on the peices they took and the wash done on his lungs. The Dr. said it looked like basic broncitis in his lungs and no sign of cancer so hopefully he will just need some antibiotics and everything will be fine.

Again I want to thank you all for your prayers. If it was not for them all I know we would not be where we are right now. Our God is a good God.

Jen

Friday, May 2, 2003 11:43 AM CDT
Chad is in recovery. I should be able to see him soon. And then we are headed home.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Thursday, May 1, 2003 4:16 PM CDT
THE RESULTS ARE IN

There is good and bad. The good news is that the CT from this month looks much better than last months. Which means they don't think it's cancer. The bad news is that they do think it's a fungus of some sorts. So tomarrow they will be doing a brocoscopy to find out what it is. They have then given us the go ahead to go home. So by tomarrow around 11 we should be headed home.

The Dr. said we made his day and that he is "cautiously optomistic". We told him that goes both ways.

So Mon. I will be around for Childcare. And Chad will be at the dealership on Sat.

I want to think everyone for your prayers and send one more tonight thanking God for the gift of time. This in no way means that Chad is cured. But it does give us time.

I hope you all have a WONDERFUL evening I know we will.

Jen

Wednesday, April 30, 2003 3:45 PM CDT
Hello everyone,

Chad finished his testing around 11 this morning. We did some running around, went to the mall, got lunch and are just spending the day relaxing. I am meeting a friend from Providers Choice at 6:30 for supper.

We meet with the Dr. tomarrow at 1:30. We will find out all the results then. Keep us in your prayers.

Monday, April 28, 2003 11:07 PM CDT
Hello Everyone,

Things here are busy. Tomarrow we will be headed to Mayo. We are planning on leaving here around 2. Get down to Mills and drop off the kids and then continue down to Rochester.

Chad has testing Wed morning and we should be done by 12. But we don't see the Dr till Thur. at 1:30. I will update this from down there.

He still is feeling good and in good spirits. I ask you all to send those prayers heavenward the next few days. They will be dearly needed. You all have been so wonderfull. The support that we have behind us can't be measured. And there is in no way that we could put into words what it has meant to us.

Take care everyone and may God shine blessings on you all.

Jen

Tuesday, April 22, 2003 8:47 PM CDT
Hello Everyone,

Well the birthday went well. They desided being I am the "baby" of the group I deserved a child's b-day. They took me to Mc.D's and had the cake, ice cream and whole works. It was a fun evening.

Tomarrow Tate has kindergarden registration and both kids have there yearly checkups. Donna(the gal subbing for me) will be here to watch the daycare kids for a few hrs. It will give her a chance to get to know them on her own. Before being left with them next week.

Easter was good. It was great getting to see everyone in Dalton. Tate and Kiah got more candy than they know what to do with.

I think spring has finally sprung. The trees are starting to bud. And the grass is slowly turning green. It's great to be able to open the windows and let the breeze threw the house.

Hope everyone is well.

Jen

Tuesday, April 15, 2003 8:54 AM CDT
Hello Everyone,

Things here are good. I'm trying to get everything lined up and done before we have to head to mayo at the end of the month.

The kids are doing great. They are loving being outside. Kiah has managed to come in looking like pigpen from peanuts every night. Tate has mastered his bike. Still need the training wheels, but he's not afraid of it like he was last yr.

Chad looks and feels good. Hopefully that is a trend and it will continue threw our mayo visit. Today is my 30th b-day. It really isn't bothering me any. But all our friends up here are older... so I am the last to turn 30 and I get the feeling revenge is in the works. I'm not sure what they have up there sleeves for tonight. They just told me to make sure all the kids are gone by 5.

Have a great day everyone,

Jen

Friday, April 4, 2003 2:51 PM CST
Hello,

We found out today we will be in Mayo April 30th and May 1st. The 30th Chad will have tests ran and then on the 1st we will met with the drs. If we come home then will depend on what they find. Chad is feeling great and working full time. So hopefully that's a good sign.

Otherwise things here are good. The kids have an appt. for checkups on the 23rd.

Tonight we are going with Miss and Joff over to the palace to a concert. Chad has sold the palace a few cars so they send him tickets to there concerts quite often.

Hope everyone is doing well,

Jen

P.S. Last we heard Travis was being sent back to Germany. Keep your fingers crossed that he can come back to the states soon.

Friday, March 28, 2003 1:19 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

I know everyone has been waiting to hear some news. Just like us. Dr. Peter Anderson called today from Mayo. They have desided that the spots that are there are uncunclusive. They want to wait 6 weeks and do another scan. So now we wait. The end of April beginning of May we will go down and they will do a CT in Mayo. We will meet the next day with Anderson and go from there. It may mean doing surgery to remove them or it may be nothing and we will be coming home. But we will wait till then.

This is a relief for us. It means there is a chance that this is nothing to be worried about. So everyone send those prayers heavenward that God make it just that. That we will go down and they will be nothing and we can come home and continue with our life.

Please remember Travis as well in your prayers. Pat(Chad's Mom) got an email from him yesterday and he is doing fine. He couldn't tell us where he is or what he is doing. We are guessing he is still in Turkey with the other 3 guys. But we don't know that for sure.

Thank you all for the continued prayers and we will keep you all up to date.

Jen

Tuesday, March 25, 2003 7:30 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

Things here have been a little stressful this past week. Chad got the results of his CT and they have found 2 small spots on his left lung. We are currently waiting on those scans to get to Mayo to find out what our next course of action will be. We knew there was a 98% chance of this coming back. We are staying positive and trying hard not to let this get us down. It's just back to the grind of trying to beat it. The good news is that they are small and that they weren't there 3 months ago so we are catching it early.

I have been trying to find someone that would be willing to come into our home and watch the "Daycare kids" while we are doing treatments. I have found one girl. She is a college kid going to school for her CDA. She is currently working with a friend of mine who does childcare to get her hours in that she needs. But she can only do Mon, Wed, Fri till school is out. Then after that she should be able to do more.

Kiah and Tate's birthday's went very nice. It was great to have most of the grandparents and close friends here with us. It was a beautiful sunny day.

Please remember to keep Travis(chad's step-brother) in your prayers as well. That he stay safe and come home to us soon.

Jen

Tuesday, March 18, 2003 10:25 AM CST
Hello Everyone,

Kiah had a good birthday yesterday. We got her a new trike so she will be able to keep up with her brother this summer and a stroller for her dollies. Sun both sides of the family will be here for both Tate and Kiah's b-days.

Chad had his CT scan yesterday. It will be about a week before we get the results. He also had a set of scans sent to Mayo to be examined down there.

I have a couple new prayer requests. First is with everything that is happening over seas that a prayer go out for Travis(Chad's step-brother) to keep him safe. He is in the ARMY and has been deployed. Last we heard he was spossed to be in Turkey, but I don't think he is there anymore. And second is for my Great Grandmother. She is the oldest living member of my family at the wonderful young age of 93. She was diagnosed with lung cancer about a week ago. Please pray that she will be comfortable and peaceful threw this.

I lost a family from daycare and have picked up a couple new ones. Remember me saying I loved those babies??? Well I got my wish!!! LOL. The ages of the kids are now 8,6,5,26m,24m,23m,18m,12m,9m,and 8m. So far all is going good and yes I still love those babies!!! LOL.

Take Care everyone and THINK SPRING!!!

Sunday, March 9, 2003 7:38 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

We had a wonderful weekend. Tate and Kiah I think turned into fish. They loved the hotel. It had a waterslide and Tate was even going down it all by himself. My conference was great on Sat. and came home with a couple new toys for the kids.

This next week will hopefully start to slow down a little. It seems like we have been doing nothing but going and going and going the past couple weeks. Mon night I have a gal coming with her son for an interview. Tue night I have the daycare assoc. meeting and Chad has TKD. Wed so far is open. Thur Chad has TKD again and Fri is open. So far the weekend is looking quiet, but I'm sure something will come up.

Our camper is now sitting in our driveway. It's really giving me the bug for spring. Hopefully it will come soon and we can start using it.

Hope all is well with you all,

Jen

Monday, March 3, 2003 3:24 PM CST
Hello,

Things here are going good. We had a fun but short weekend. Sat after Chad got off work we went down to Fergus to visit with friends and were up way to late. We dropped the kids off at Mom and Dad's for the night on our way. Then Sun. we turned around went back to Mills and celebrated Kevin and Mike's B-day's. We bowled, and then got together at Mom and Dad's for supper and then headed home. We got home last night about 7:30. Just in time to get the kids ready for bed.

We have tackled the colds. Chad has his next CT on the 17th. He is also having a mole removed from his back on the 18th. It's just bigger and darker than the rest of them on his body and the Dr.'s desided it would be best.

I have nutrition training tonight and this Fri we are going to St. Cloud for a conference on Sat. We are going to go as a family and get a hotel for Fri and Sat night. It will be a good "get away" for us. Even though I will be sitting in classes all day Sat.

Hope everyone is doing well,

Jen

Monday, February 24, 2003 11:47 AM CST
Hello Everyone,

Things here are going very well. We have been fighting colds, but so far are succeding. A couple runny noses, but other than that doing good.

Chad is doing very well. We had something fall into our laps. A friend of mine had her second baby and desided it was time for a minivan. They traded in her husbands dads camper last fall. Chad fell in love with it and had me look at it. At that point we just didn't know what was going on with our lives and didn't feel like we should take on something else no matter how good a deal it was. WELLLLL it is back. They needed to get something cleared up on the title and Chad asked what the chances of still getting it was and if we could still get it for the trade in value. They agreed and so we are soon to be owners of a camper. We have already talked to a place to put it for the summer. It is only 6 miles from the house. We are both really looking forward to having it. One of the things I have really missed about moving to Bemidji was our family lake cabin and being able to have someplace to go to "get away". This will give us that. We will be able to go to the camper every Fri night and stay till Sun. And with it only being 6 miles from home if I need to run to town, or run home for something it's not a big deal. Eventually we would like to move it closer to you all around the Park Rapids area. But for the first yr or 2, I want it close so we can get used to it and I feel comfortable being there with the kids by myself.

So that is what is new in our lives. If it not for me starting daycare and Chad doing as well as he is physically we would never have been able to do this. When Chad got sick we had to sell the camper we had just bought 2 months before and it was one of the things that hit us the hardest. To be able to now feel like we can start "picking" up our life where we left it off almost 2 yrs ago is a great feeling.

Hope you all are doing great.

Jen

Saturday, February 15, 2003 7:47 AM CST
Hello,

Things here are good. Tate tested for his Kindergarden prescreening yesterday. He passed and said he is very ready for K. He has a little trouble with his "th" and "w" sounds. But she said that is nothing to worry about. We managed to miss the ear infection with Kiah. YAAAAaaa. I did send her in to the Dr one day with Daddy. But Dr. said they were clear. Hopefully(knock on wood) we are getting passed all the problems stage.

Chad is doing great. He is having no problems(other than his poor hair not wanting to grow). We went out for supper last night. It was nice to just get away just the 2 of us for a couple hours.

Tomarrow we will be meeting Mom,Dad,Jamie,Travis,and Brenden in Fargo for Disney on Ice. Like I said before, Tate is really excited about it. We are going to try and meet up with Roy afterwards and go to Chuckie Cheese for an early supper before we have to head home.

Hope all is well for you all
Happy Belated Valentine's Day!!!

Jen

Wednesday, February 5, 2003 7:09 AM CST
Hello everyone,

Things are going good. It's been pretty normal around here the past couple weeks. Chad has a lab day and Dr appt. on the 17th of this month. I also ordered tickets for my parents, sister and brother-in-law and us to all go see Disney on ice in Fargo on the 16th. Tate is getting really excited about it. Everytime he sees the commercial on TV he chimes up with "We get to go see them!!" Kiah is doing just fine. Her nose has started running again this past week. Hopefully we can avoid an ear infection.

Daycare is going great. I really am loving every min. of it. I was at an all day conference in Staples this past weekend and learned alot of great ideas and tools. I can honestly say that doing daycare has made me a BETTER mom. And that is worth everything in the world. I have a new baby starting today. She is 6 months. I have found in the past few months that I LOVE babies and toddlers. And no I haven't went insane!!! LOL

Take care everyone,

Jen

Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 08:24 PM (CST)
1/26/03- CHECK OUT THE NEW PICS!!!

Hello Everyone,

Chad is doing good. He is still having a little bit of left over problems with his tummy from radiation. But over all he is doing very well. He just has to watch what he eats. Anything to spicy and his stumach knots up and cramps pretty bad. Thought we were headed to the ER for it on Sun night, got there and he desided that it was getting better so we turned around and came home.

Tate and Kiah are doing wonderful. They spent last weekend with Gma and Gpa Hanson. Tate got to go fishing and Gpa got to learn "catch and release". Tate got so upset when it was time to go home that those fishies where going to die. Gpa had to put them back in the lake. He said there were tears and the whole works. Kiah desided to take after her Mommy. When I was little(about her age) I got into a container of Vaseline... Well you got it... Kiah did to. Gma just didn't learn after 20 yrs. LOL. Thank goodness she didn't get it in her hair though like I did!!!

Daycare is going good. I put up a sign at the end of the driveway with my phone number on it. I also lost 2 girls. The oldest one was missing her old play buddies, so Mom pulled them and took them back to the old place. So I am once again looking for kids.

I have a special request. Chad's step brother is in the army and is stationed in Germany. He was sposse to be comming back to the US in April. We just found out today that may be changing. His unit was told to get ready. So any prayers that can be sent to keep him safe would be greatly appreciated. Or better yet ones to get him back into the US.

Take Care,

Jen

Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 10:35 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

THings here are going great. We went a round of the flu right after new years. That is over with and so are the colds. We are all healthy and doing good.

Chad is doing very well and still continuing with tae kwon do. He is loving it.

Daycare is going wonderfull. I have training set up for the beginning of next month. I also have a conference I will be going to on Feb 1st. We had our monthly meeting tonight for the area's childcare provider's.

Tate and Kiah are there usual selves. There doing great and nothing new.

I hope everything is going well with you all.

Jen

Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 07:13 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are good. Chad has a touch of the flu. He came home from work early today.

The holiday's were great. For New Year's this year we desided we needed to do something as a family. We got a hotel room here in town and spent the night swimming and enjoying ourselves.

Daycare is going great. I got accepted for a "mentoring" program for new providers. They are going to give me 10 hrs one on one of early childhood training and buisness help. I'm looking forward to it. I think it will be a great learning experience that few get the chance to receive.

Tate and Kiah are doing wonderful.

Take Care,

Jen

Monday, December 23, 2002 at 08:47 AM (CST)
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE,

I just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas before we start our annual "trek". Actually this year shouldn't be as bad as they have been. We are going to go down to Mom and Dad's tonight after Chad is done with work. Then Tue morning we will go to Jamie's in Fergus and the Dalton that night. We will spent Tue. night at Mom and Dad's again. And then Wed morning come back to Bemidji and go to Chad's sisters. And then Sat. Chad's Mom and step Dad and that side of the family will be here at our house.

Chad's CT Scan came back clear last week. So now we will wait another 3 months and they will check again.

The kids are doing great. Kiah had to go into the Dr. this morning. She has an ear infection in both ears again. Not bad ones, but it's there. Tate is wayyyyyy to excited about santa coming. It's going to be a fun christmas with him old enough now to understand.

Just to think that a year ago we were wondering where the next year would lead us. Not knowing whether it would be a joyous one or not. There were alot of questions that no one knew the answers to. This Christmas we have so much to be thankful for. A HUGE one goes out to all of you that have sent prayers and well wishes. If not for you all I know we would not be where we are today. Believe it or not it's been your strength that has keep us going. We have drawn on your messeges, hugs, and kisses. And I just want to say THANK YOU to each and every one of you.

Jen

Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 06:41 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad's appt went good. They scheduled him for a CT Scan for the 12th. Dr. K didn't think we needed to make a trip all the way to fargo for each scan and is handing Chad over to the Oncologist here in town. When and if anything shows up on the scans we will be right back with Dr. K. But as long as things are clean we can stay here in town.

So now the real stress begins. The sitting and waiting. The past 1 1/2 yrs has been fight, fight, fight. Now we have to wait and see. I think I liked the fighting better, cause at least then you thought you were accomplishing something. Now it's like being tied to the railroad tracks and having to wait for the train.

But I know God is a good God and that he is on our side. And we will remain positive and happy until something tells us otherwise. I ask that you all take a moment and think about the "smaller" things in life. The smile on a childs face when they see you or the wag from the family pet. The colors of the sky at sunset. The christmas lights your neigbors put up on there house that keep you awake at night. Be thankfull for what you have and be more thankfull for your being. That is what really matters in life. And from here on out remember... no matter what is thrown at you... SMILE!!! Cause if you can't smile and enjoy life... then what's the use of living? A guy told me not a month ago... "You always have a smile on your face. It's nice to see." I looked at him and said "If you can't smile at life then what's the use?" Arguements, Work, the guy who cut you off in line, What's the use? Forget the petty things and live life the way YOU want it to be. You are the one that makes your day. Each morning you have a choice. To be happy or not. I choose to be happy. What's yours?

Take care everyone,

Jen

P.S. I HAVEN'T HAD A NEW POST IN THE GUESTBOOK FOR OVER A MONTH!!! I'M BEGGING HERE!!!!PWWWWWEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SOMEONE TALK TO ME!!!! :)

Monday, December 02, 2002 at 07:32 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are good. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. We are getting ready for Christmas around here. I added something new to the web page. I hope you all like it. I thought it was cute for the holidays.

I put up 2000 lights around the outside of the house. Chad thinks I over did it... But did admit tonight that it looks nice.

I will update more after Weds. appt in Fargo.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Tuesday, November 26, 2002 at 07:55 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are good. Chad finished his Radiation. His counts are still doing ok. He has had a few days of nausia. But it is going good. He has an Appt in Fargo on the 4th with Dr. K. I am sure it will just be a checkup and to say we will see you in 3 months. I am not planning on going.

Daycare is going great. I will officially take on 2 more on Dec. 9th. So I will then be at 10 kids and full. The ages of them all will be 8,6,6,4,4,3,2,2,21months,8months. I will have 6 girls and 4 boys. I am loving every minute of it.

The kids are doing good. Kiah still has her ear infection. She was back into the Dr. today. Tate is healthy and busy being a boy.

We had to reload our pc today. It desided to take a vac. This one has been very good and we have had very few. problems. But yesterday I updated a program and everything went down. I was able to get everything backedup and thank goodness for that. The gal was here for 3 hrs today dumping it and then reloading all the programs again. But it's just like having a brand new pc now. No more little glitches.

We will be going down to Grandma and Grandpa Hanson's for Thanksgiving. We will be going down to Mom and Dad's tomarrow night and come home Thur night.

I hope you all have a wonderfull day and remember to say a prayer for that that you are thankfull for. I know we will be.

Jen

P.S. I put up some new pics for you guys... so take a look!!!

Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 02:44 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things here on this end have been ok. The kids and Chad have been fighting a cold. I had to take Kiah into the ER this morning. She has an ear infection.

Chad is doing good otherwise. He has 4 days left of Radiation. His plts are starting to fall agian. Hopefully they will be able to finish before they drop to far. He was down in the cities this past week for training for a couple days.

Daycare is going good. I am loving every day of it. It's great to see the smiles on the kids and that they are glad to be here. I got my permit from the township this past week. So I am all officially licensed and up and running. One of my toddlers turns 2 next week so that will leave me with an opening for a toddler or infant and one opening for a schoolage. Right now I have a 7 month, 20 month, 23 month, 3 yrs, 4 yrs, 6 yrs, 6 yrs, 8 yrs. It keeps me busy.

On another note... I have a special prayer request that is being needed. I have a Great Uncle out in Yakima, WA that is in the hospital and not looking good. If you could please send out a prayer for Merl or the rest of his family it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you all and hope you are all doing well,

Jen

Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 06:51 AM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

I am officially licensed!!! The gal came Fri. looked over the house and gave it to me. I still need to go up against the township board next Mon. We'll see how that goes. But I took another little baby in. He's 4 months old. So I now have 5 plus my 2. I can still take one more under 5. And then I have room for 2 more schoolage. This new baby is only 2 days a week, so I could also work another in part-time as well. But I am going to leave it as is for now and see how it goes. I also got a startup grant to help with an egress window I need to put into the play room. I was very excited about that. So they will be here the beginning of next week to put that in.

Chad is doing well. He has a few more days of Rad. And then we are all done. Then the 3 month waiting starts. He got pretty wore out yesterday. He got to redig a part of our new gas line we just put down. And then last night he went to Karate. But overall he is doing very well.

The kids are great. No colds. Tate as a person is growing so much right now. It's amazing the things he is putting together and figuring out. And he also went threw a growth spurt. He grew an inch this past month. Kiah is still little miss independant. She wants to do everything on her own. And it's her way or no way. She also went threw a growth spurt. I put 18 months on her now and there short, but 24 months are to long. She is just so petite. She only weighs 21 lbs. And she is 32 inches long. I would like to find one more little girl about her age for her to play with. She gets left out alot when the boys are playing during the day.

Hope everyone is doing well,

Jen

Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 08:50 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Sorry this hasn't been updated in SSSOOooooo long. I think this has been my biggest lapse yet! The good news is Chad once again started his Rad. They started yesterday and had 17 days left. They are doing just the site where the tumor was now, so hopefully this won't affect his counts like they did before.

Things here at the house are going great. I got all my paperwork into the licenser and am just waiting on a visit from her. I also filled out all the township papers and got them in today. There will be a meeting on the 4th and then again on the 12th. The one on the 12th will tell me whether I get the permit or not. Although the guy I talked to today didn't seem to have any problems with anything I handed him.

The kids are great. No colds are flu's yet. The kids and I got our flu shots last Fri. Kiah took hers great. Tate you would of thought we were taking his arm off. He cried and held his arm for hrs.

I hope this finds you all good.

Jen

Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 09:15 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Chad had to have a Platlet transfusion yesterday. His counts had fallen to far. They checked them today again and he still isn't ready to resume Rad. So they will keep checking them every day till they are. He had been having a few headaches. He came home from work early today to take a nap because it was bothering him enough. We have told the Dr. and nurses. They don't seem to be worried about it. On the good side... this break has given his skin a chance to recover.

Things here are going good. Nothing new to report. It's been nice to have life "normal" or as normal as they can be. I told one of Chad's friends tonight it's quiet and I am not going to complain at all. He said "Quiet??? You are running a daycare... how can THAT be quiet???" LOL

Hope this finds you all well and that the fall colds haven't set in yet.

Jen

Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 08:37 AM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Chad is doing well. His tummy is starting to get a little bit of a rash on it and his counts are starting to fall. If they fall below 1 they will stop his Rad. till they come back up. He said he also is starting to feel a little more fatigued during the day.

Things here are going just fine. The kids are great. Daycare is going wonderfull. I have lost a total of 40 lbs as of today.

I have desided to keep the website open, at least for now. It will only get updated about once a week. I would like to start a "real" website with all of Chad's technical "stuff" on it for the people that come here looking for help. Then they wouldn't have to weed threw all the other along with it.

I hope everyone is doing well. I only heard from a couple of you in the past weeks. :P

Jen

Saturday, September 14, 2002 at 09:46 AM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

I hope everything is going good with you all. THings here are going just fine. Chad's radiation is going great. They are talking about going 40 days instead of 20. We have been aggressive with everything else we have done and they feel we should be with this also. His chance of having some kind of Kidney or Liver problems down the road rises. So we are still weighing out the options. On Tue. all the Dr's that have done anything to him are going to have a call-conference and weigh them out. Chad and I are invited to go if we want, but were warned that when the Dr.s get together for that sort of thing they arn't always the nicest. I think we are going to try and go to it though.

Missy said she would come over and watch the daycare kids for an hr or 2 so I can go. Daycare is going great. I'm loving it. It keeps me busy.

I would like to warn you guys that we have been thinking about shutting this site down. Now that things have settled down in our lives and things are returning to "normal" I just don't get to update it as it should be. I am going to run a tally for a few days. Those of you that want it to stay open please post on the board and let me know. We figure if Chad does get sick agian we can always open another one. And we can always do a mass email every so often to keep ou guys up to date. So let me know what you guys think of the idea.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 09:30 PM (CDT)
Hello,

Things here have been very busy this week. I took my first kid on Mon. I have had a great week. I am loving this so much. I like being able to teach the kids and being able to better them. I think one of the most important things is the positive reinforcement. I have noticed so far a couple of the kids I have had lacked that BIG time.

Chad is taking his Radiation with NO problems. He leaves work and is back to work within a 1/2 hr. He's just flying threw this as Dr K. said he would.

The kids are excited about this weekend. As most of you know it's Threshing weekend. We will be staying at the lake and going to the grounds to run "grandpa's big tractor" as Tate says. We will be headed down there tomarrow as soon as the kids are gone and Chad is home. We will be home Sunday evening sometime. Hope to see some of you.

Happy Grandparents Day to all of you Grandparents out there.

Take care

Jen

Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 11:35 AM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

I need to apoligize once again for not updating this sooner.

Chad is doing well. He started his radiation yesterday. It went well and had no problems last night. I on the other hand started working out at the gym here in town and on my second day of arobics came down on the step and twisted my ankle. I managed to sprain it VERY good and the Dr. said there was a dark shadow that looked like it could be a hair line fracture. So I am in an air cast. Yesterday I had a hard time even putting the littlest pressure on it. TOday is better. I am able to hobble from place to place. The only bad thing is all the steps in this house LOL. They have become a very quick pain in my behind. And of course it had to be my right leg as well... so no driving for me for awhile.

The kids are doing great. Tate is very excited about me starting daycare and that kids will be coming to the house for him to play with. I have 4 kids now. Along with my 2 makes 6 and will keep me busy. I also have a bunch of training classes coming up in Sept. So most Thur. nights will have me busy with that.

I hope everyone is having a great summer,

Jen

Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 07:06 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are moving along. I got my massage this morning. Chad had his measuring appt. today and they tattooed on him where they will hit him with the radiation. I also put my 2 week notice in at Penney's. I got my first kids. They start Sept. 3rd. I am really looking forward to it.

The kids are doing great. We were outside most of the day today. It was such a nice day to be out. I cleaned the garage and we can actually get both cars in it again. I also went around the house with the roundup and killed all the weeds that I have neglecting all summer.

I hope everyone is going well,

Jen

Saturday, August 17, 2002 at 09:13 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are good. We went to our appt. on Fri and they are going to get the process of Radiation going next week. Mon. Chad goes in for a scan that will measure everything and tell them where to do it. The Dr. says that he probably won't even know he is having anything done. They are going to do 21 days whole abdoman and then another 10 days at where the site of the large tumor was. Hopefully they will be able to get anything else that may be left. THey figure it will take about 5-6 weeks to get it all done. They don't do weekends and they are going to work around threshing for us.

I put new pics of the kids up.

I am at 32 lbs less than I was. I met my first goal and am rewarding myself with a massage. I also am getting the daycare thing going. It looks like I will have a baby for a couple months anyways. Her mom is still in high school, so I will get her when school starts. I also have talked to alot of people that are involved with the classes and things I need to keep up with and am hopeing I can have everything ready to go so when I have my classes with the actual county gal I can get going right away.

Hope everything is going well with you all.

Jen

Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 09:08 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are going great. We have an appt here in town on Fri to start the radiation process.

The kids are doing good. My daycare is on it's way. I put an ad in the paper that will start tomarrow. I have all the paperwork done. Now I just need to do the classes and get the fire chief and county gal out to inspect the house. That probably won't happen till the end of Sept though. That's the dates of the new classes.

The viking game was great. Even though we lost and felt like we were watching a high school team the second half. Being in the first row and being able to talk and actually see the players, cheerleaders, owner makes it all worthwhile. Chad said we will never want to be in the "nosebleed" section again after that. LOL.

I hope everyone is having a wonderfull summer.

Jen

P.S. NEW PICS ARE UP OF THE KIDS!!!

Saturday, August 10, 2002 at 02:22 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

I must apoligize for not updating sooner. Things are very busy. We had to be back down in Rochester on Thur. morning for our last exit interview. Hopefully that was the last time we will have to go down there.

Right now we are in the cities. We are taking that Chad & Jen time. I found tickets for the vikings game tonight. Pam and John are here with us. It's been alot of fun and great to be able to just get away and enjoy ourselves without worry of anything else.

The kids are bouncing. Thur and Fri they were at my mom and dads. Fri Mom took them over to Pat and Rick and they have had them. Sun Mom will go back over and pick them up and we will get them from there.

I hope everything is going good with everyone.

Remember to say a prayer for Kim. She will be going threw the same thing as Chad and having a stem cell transplant this next month.

Jen

Saturday, August 03, 2002 at 10:15 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are good. We heard Wed. that Chad's bone marrow came back completely normal!!! How??? no one is quite sure, but hay we'll take it! We just say it was heaven sent.

The kids are doing great. They got to play at Ally and Brandon's house today. Tate didn't want to come home. Brandon said he would though.

I am starting a new adventure. As much as I love doing hair, I'm getting burnt on the "working with 20 woman". SOOOooooo Chad and I talked it over and I am going to start daycare. I am going to get licensed. But it will take awile for it to happen. The next Orientation day isn't till the end of Sept. So I have desided I am going to get my name out there now before school starts and take 1 family and then after I am licensed can take on more. I have been working hard on it the last few days and have gotten most of my paperwork done. I made a parent handbook(all 20 pages), and have been able to find most of the forms I need off the net. I am going to have it all in place before I accept my first family. I don't want to have to go back to that family afterwards and say "oh ya... here are the rules." The only thing they won't be able to fill out will be the food program paperwork.

I am very excited about it. This is something I have looked into for years now. Just never did anything about. But I am ready to be at home with my kids and to be able to provide quality daycare to other children as well. There are to few GOOD daycares in Beltrami county and I look forward to being considered one of them.

I will stay at Penney's till I find my first family.

Chad will be starting his Radiation soon. Dr. K has talked to the guy here in Bemidji that will be doing it. We are just waiting to hear from him to get the ball going.

I hope this finds you all well.

Jen

Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 02:25 PM (CDT)
Hello,

Just to update you all. We are home. We got home this morning.

Chad's CT Scan was CLEAR!!!! YIPEEEEEEEE!!!!! We are still waiting on the marrow test and will find the results out of that next Thur.

Everything else went great. We have a great time. ANd it was good just to have some time to ourselves.

The kids had a good time at Mom and Dad's. Tate fished and swam till they had to pull him out of the water. Tate had a touch of the flu yesterday. We are thinkin it may have been TOO much sun.

Hope everyone has a great day,

Jen

Friday, July 26, 2002 at 10:12 PM (CDT)
Hello Eveyrone,

I am going to update this and then The next time will be from the laptop in Rochester.

Things here are going just fine. I have a PC show tomarrow afternoon and then We are going to go down to the lake and stay there Sat. night. Sun Mom and Dad will come down and get the kids and Chad and I will head for Rochester.

Mon and Tue are testing days. We also meet with Dr. Litzow on Tue afternoon. He's the one that took care of Chad's Transplant. Then on the 8th we will be back down there to see Dr. Anderson who is a ped's Dr. so he couldn't actually "take care" of Chad. But was in charge of him.

Chad's Grandma is in Fergus now. I talked to Chad's Mom today and she said she was looking much better today and the swelling was going down. She will be in the Hospital up there for a little while so if anyone is looking for her that's where she is.

I hope everything is going good for you all,

Jen

Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 08:10 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

It's been busy around here. I worked all weekend. Baptism on Sun. Worked Mon. I finally got to breath(and do housework) today. I went on a Poison Ivy revenge match tonight. I do this usually once a year. I buy a bottle of the brush b gone and spray everything in site. And each year I do seem to make a little dent in it. I managed to get all of it killed around the firepit and on the west end last year. The south side of our lot has a line of woods. It is ALWAYS covered in the stuff. I noticed this year it wasn't quite to the mow line so I must be making some progress there to. BUT I found a whole new slew of it behind the fence on the north side. So I went to town on that tonight. There won't be a thing left to grow between us and the school(besides the big pine trees) when I get done with it.

Chad and the kids are doing great. We head back down to Rochester Sun. Mon and Tue are testing days. Mom and Dad will have the kids.

I just talked to Grandma on the phone. They have her "tube free" and she thinks they will probably transfer her to Fergus on Thur. She sounds good. She said she did a little to much walking yesterday and is sore today. But overall is doing much better than a week ago.

I hope things on your ends are going good. I haven't heard much from the rest of you.

Jen

Friday, July 19, 2002 at 08:34 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Chad's Grandma is doing better today. THey got her up and sitting in a chair for a little bit. Her kidney's have started working a little bit. They were able to lower the blood pressure med they had her on because that had finally come up. She's not off it, but it's slowly getting better. Her blood sugar is still messed up though so they still have her on insulin. They are hopeing they will be able to move her to reg ICU tomarrow. They figure she will be there another week. Fergus has a swing bed ready for her. So when she is released from Fargo she will go to the Fergus hospital. She has refused to go to a nursing home. And we all think the swing bed will be better for her anyways.

Things here are going just fine. Nothing new to report. THe kids will have a sitter here tomarrow. Heather will be watching them and is going to take them to her brothers soccer game. I think Tate will love it.

I am down 25 lbs. now. BCC is having there annual "burn" party tomarrow night. One of the machanics puts all his brush in a pile and burns it once a year. So everyone gets togther for it. Chad is going out there and will be pitching a tent for the night. I am going to stay home with the kids. We may all go out there for an hr or 2. But Chad has strict orders to be home early on Sun. Jake's(Missy & Joff's baby) baptism is on Sun. And I work at 12.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Jen

Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 12:41 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Chad's Grandmother is doing fine. Chad and I went to Fargo yesterday to see her. We also stopped up to 7th floor and said Hi and Also down at Dr. K's office. It was nice to see them again.

UPDATE!!! Chad's Grandma isn't as good as she was yesterday when we left. They said last night her blood pressure dropped down below 100. She also isn't urinating and her blood sugar is messed up. They also still have her on oxygen and still in CIC. They weren't able to remove her ventilator till last night and they were hoping to be able to remove it after surgery. So please keep the prayers coming. The nurses and Dr.'s say she should get over this hump just fine, but I know from experience that a prayer to above does alot of good as well.

I also need to ask for some more prayers for a family friend. I found out today that a family friend's cancer has returned. She is a young person. So if you have any extra prayers left. Please make one for Kim.

THE WEBCAM IS UP AND GOING AGAIN!!! It has been down since we were in Rochester. I've just been to busy to even think about it. I has a new addy so click on the link below to get to it. I also can't personalize like I had it before. They changed there policy and want me to pay to be able to. I said no way. You can all keep up threw this and then just get a peek into our lives threw it. :)

I hope everyone is having a great summer. I haven't heard from many of you lately. So I guess I will think everything is going good. Kind of like when I don't get this updated like I am sposse to :)

Jen

Sunday, July 14, 2002 at 08:26 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

We are home from the lake. Things went great and we had a wonderfull time. The weather cooperated and we had sun sun and more sun. Tate got to ride his uncle Kevin's Jetski and even drive(with a little help from uncle). He also went tubing with Grandma. But he did say that he didn't like it when Grandpa(the driver of the boat) splashed water in his face. Kiah thought the water was to cold and refused to touch it. So she hung out in the sandbox and got a tan. I managed to see my fair share of sun and my legs will be feeling it for a few more days. At least there not paper white anymore... Now there just a nice shade of pink. Chad had a nice weekend here at home. He got out and went golfing twice. Last night he had a few friends over and had a fire in the back yard.

On a more serious note. Myrtle Finkelson(Chad's Grandmother) will be having surgery Tue. She has been having problems and they found out that one of her valves is leaking and leaking blood into her lungs. She is a wonderfull woman with a skill for making quilts like you wouldn't beleive. She has a big birthday comming up here in August. She will be 80. So please keep her in your prayers.

I hope everything is going good with all of you,

Jen

Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 11:19 PM (CDT)
OK OK OK!!! LOL

Just for Carol... Everything is going fine here. The kids and I are headed down tot he lake tomarrow morning. Chad has to work fri and sat so he's staying home.

I am at 21 lbs now. Kiah and Tate look like they could have been picked up and carried away by the misquito bites on there legs and arms. I can't beleive that during the day they are as bad as they are. It's impossible to keep them away from the kids.

My painting is still going on. I have painted a little here and there, but haven't had just hrs. to spend on it. So I am just little bit by little bit going at it.

Chad is doing great. His hair is growing back and just may need a haircut soon. It's much finer than what it used to be, but still the same color. I'm guessing it will get thicker as time goes on. If not he will have hair like me!!! LOL. Thin and Fine.

Take care everyone and have a great weekend.

Jen

Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 07:38 AM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here were busy this week. We went down to my Mom and Dad's as planned on Wed. and didn't get home till Fri. We had a great 4th down at the lake. It was great to get to see everyone again.

Kiah's bug bite is finally starting to look better. It's not swollen anymore. But the vessels around the eye are now bruised so she looks like she does actually have a black eye.

Tate is his usual self. He's doing good and had a ball in the lake on the 4th. Looks like he is going to be a swimmer like his Mom.

Chad is doing great. Things aare normal and we are just waiting to go back down on the 29th some more testing to see where we are. We also have to go back down again on the 8th after all the tests are in and see Dr. Anderson.

I'm doing good. I'm still sitting at my 20 lbs. Doesn't bother me though that is didn't loose this week. After loosing 20 in 3 weeks I figured my body was going to take a break.

I have been painting again. Chad's "viking" room that is now accessable needs some updateing. It has old icky dark paneling on the walls so I am putting 3 coats of Kilz on it to cover it up. Then after that my creativity will have to kick in again so that he can be proud of his "viking" room once again. After it is done I will put up some new pics.

Hope everyone has a great beginning to a new week.

Jen

Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 08:33 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are going good. Tate's face is almost cleared up. Poor Kiah though has gotten a bug bite by each eye and looks like she has 2 black eyes. You would think her brother got to her.

The bunnies are gone. I went out this morning and the last one was no where to be found. I looked all day today and tonight and no sign. So hopefully I did my part and they can make it on their own now.

We will be headed down to my parents tomarrow night. Thursay we will be at the family lake cabin and that night back at Mom and Dad's. We will be home Fri sometime. If I don't get the chance to update this I hope everyone has a GRRREAT 4th.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Sunday, June 30, 2002 at 09:05 AM (CDT)
Good Morning Everyone,

Things here are going great. Tate's poison ivy on his face is clearing up. I really don't beleive that's what it was. But that's what the Dr. said. Kiah is just a little peanut and getting into anything that you will let her. I had to go threw her clothes the other day and take out some of her 12 months. I put her 18 months in her drawers. But then she still has some 9 months she is still wearing LOL.

Chad and I went with the BCC salesman to Arthur's on the lake south of Walker last night for supper. It was very good. We had a great time. It was nice to get out just the 2 of us again with other adults.

I weighed myself this morning and am now down 17 lbs. I do think it is that much to. I can tell in my pants and clothes. I don't know why it's comming off so fast, but I'm not going to complain. I'm just following everything I did last spring on Weight Watchers. Guess I have just gotten that much better at it. But I can already tell I feel better and have alot more energy. I still have a LONG way's to go, but it makes me feel good that I feel like I can actually do it.

The bunnies are doing fine. We are now down to one. They were both there last night. Went out this morning and only 1 remained. I'm glad to see them making it though. At least till they are out of my sight. I know that I didn't kill them.

Hope everyone has a great start to a new week. Keep in touch.

Jen

Friday, June 28, 2002 at 09:47 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are going fine. The bunnies are alive and kickin and starting to wander a little more every day. There was only 2 there this morning, but this afternoon all 3 were there. Then tonight when I fed them only 2 were again. Hopefully it won't be long and they will be all on there own.

I went out and bought a new scale today. I'm not sure whether to believe it or not. It says I have lost 14 lbs not 6. LOL. Guess we will find out for sure in a week when I go back to the Dr.

Speaking of the Dr. I had to take Tate in today. 3 days ago he broke out in a rash. Took him in today and the Dr. thinks it's poison ivy. Put him on some meds for 6 days. It already was looking better tonight.

Chad and Kiah are doing just fine. Nothing new there.

Hope everyone is going good,

Jen

Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 08:45 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

ONE YEAR!!! It just seems like the past year has been a dream. It has gone so fast. Again I want to thank you all for the prayers and well wishes.

Well the bunnies were mommyless. So I have officially taken over the Mommy duties. This morning we had lost 1 and I knew that the rest were dehydrated from no milk from mom. So I went to the vets here in town and got some bunny milk and started touching and feeding them today. Tonight they are already doing much better. I have still left them in there nest. I read up on the net that taking them out of there nest is a sure death sentance for them. This morning I could only get 1 to feed. But tonight all 3 were more than happy to be taking the bottle. I also found out that they only feed once to twice a day so this won't be as much work as I first thought it was going to be. Tate loved the fact that he got to pet one today. I still told him that he has to be careful and not touch them unless I am out there with him. All 3 look exactly alike. Tate swears 1 is a girl and the other 2 are boys. Kiah was sitting on the ground while I was feeding them tonight and one hopped up to her and crawled in between her legs. She just sat there and giggled.

I hope everyone has a good night,

Jen

Tuesday, June 25, 2002 at 08:38 PM (CDT)
Hello,

Things here are going good. I lost 2 more lbs this last week putting me at 6 total so far.

Chad is doing better and his tummy is finally starting to cooperate with him.

Chad was mowing lawn Sun night and mowed over a rabbit nest about 6 feet from the house. Needless to say we have now adopted 4 baby bunnies. I checked this morning and I'm not positive, but I think Mom may have been there. I put some lettuce out by the hole today and they did munch on it a little. They are so little that when they hop around the back yard they just shake like little leaves and fall over half the time. I have tried to explain to Tate that we can not touch them just in case Mom is around. He understands. The funny thing is that when they see you out in the yard they will actually come out of there hole and come towards us. Tate says "Look Mommy! They like us!" The biggest challenge is keeping CJ away from them. I can't beleive she hadn't found them before now.

Hope everyone is staying cool in the heat.

Jen

P.S. Tomarrow will be Chad's 1yr anniv. from when they found his cancer. Praise God that he is still here with us and that everything is looking up. We owe all of you a HUGE thank you for all the prayers and help we have received the past year. You all are precious to us.

Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 08:12 AM (CDT)
We have a new Nephew!!! Missy FINALLY had that baby. We had Ally and Brandon Fri night. They broke her water on Sat. morning and just a couple hrs later baby was there. They named him Jacob Alan. He was 7lbs. 12ozs. and 21 inches long. He has the Martinson hair and lots of it. The type that you look at it from one angle and it's blonde and then from another angle it will look brown. Chad, Tate, and Kiah all got it as well. He looks just like Brandon.

Things here are going just fine. The kids are doing great. Tate had a ball being able to "camp out" with Ally again on the livingroom floor. We have survived the storms. Man a few weeks ago I had mentioned we needed rain, but this is crazy.

I hope everyone is doing ok and not floating away,

Jen

Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 09:42 PM (CDT)
Hello,

Things here are fine. We heard back today about Chad's IGG. Everything is in the "normal" range so no need for antibodies. So that leaves us wondering once again as to why his tummy is still acting up. But I guess after all he's been threw the past year you can't expect everything to work perfect all the time.

Keep in touch and let us know how things are with you all,

Jen

Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 08:00 AM (CDT)
Hello,

Chad's appt went fine. They are running a few tests to see if he needs antibodies. They think that's the reason his tummy still isn't cooperating. Hopefully they will call with those results soon. If he does need them they will do it like an infusin. But it's VERY expensive. Dr. said it's about $1000 per kilo of body mass... That comes out to approx. $78,000 for Chad. Thank goodness for insurance. The Dr also said there is no reason we shouldn't be able to the the radiation here in bemidji. He said if he had to get radiation he would rather get it in Bemidji than Fargo. He said the guy here is that good. He actually trained at Mayo so there should be no problem.

Things here at the house are going fine. The kids are doing great. Missy still hasn't had that baby. She has another appt today at 11.

Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 09:32 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are ok. We meet with Dr.K from Fargo tomarrow at 10:30. It will be the first visit with a Dr. since we got back from Mayo.

I took Heather and a friend over to Fargo to see Kenny Chesney last night. We had a blast and got to talk to Nick(Kenny's fiddler) for a short while. He is a family friend. Was great to see him again. They put on a GREAT show. Chad stayed home with the kids.

I had a Pampered Chef show tonight. It was alot of fun. I hoepfully will be able to start doing more shows now that life is returning to normal.

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 09:19 PM (CDT)
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

We are back from Fergus. We had a great visit with Pam and John. It was nice not having the kids and actually able to talk and act like adults without worrying about what kid was up to what.

We also went and spent an hr with Chad's Grandma while in town. We had a very nice visit.

We then picked the kids up in Mills and came home. The kids have been good. Tate has a thing when he is playing outside of peeing on a treew if he has to go. Well to our suprise after we got home tonight instead of having to do #1 it was #2. And yes he did his job behind the tree!!! Oh well, could have been worse and been in his pants!

Hope everyone has a great Monday,

Jen

Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 07:27 AM (CDT)
Hello,

Things here are going good. Dad took Kiah back with him Wed. on his way back from fishing. Then Mom came up yesterday and took Tate. So I am kidless. Kind of weird. This doesn't happen otfen when I don't have to work, or be someplace. I have the whole house to myself.

Tonight we are going down to Pam and John's in fergus. Chad wanted to go see John for father's day so that's what we are doing. Mom and Dad will keep the kids till Sun.

I have started a new adventure in my life. Now that things have started to settle down with Chad I thought it would be a good time for me to go back on Weight Watchers. Last summer I had managed to loose 34 lbs. before Chad got sick. I have since gained that back and then some. So I started Tue. again and am going to keep you all posted to how it goes. I am under Dr.'s watch. I talked to her on Tue and we desided something needed to be done. I'm glad I have her on my side. It's someone that I am going to have to answer to. I thought about just joining WW again, but really don't like the trainer they have up here. And my Dr. said she wants to watch me. So I won't be going in weekly, but monthly. She will weigh me and see where I am at and where and what to do next. I'm really excited about it. I know I need to do this for myself. It had just gotten to the point where I was getting so frustrated that I had hit the "what's it matter" stage. So far as of this morning I had lost 4 lbs. Sounds like alot for only 5 days of being on it, but I think alot of it was water weight. I have just about stopped drinking pop all together and gone to water. And I know that pop is a killer. I will keep you all posted on how things are going.

Hope your day goes great.

Jen

Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 08:03 PM (CDT)
Hello,

We just got back from Tate's program. He was so cute up there.

Chad's C.Diff. results came back neg. Which was good. They have now started him on Imodium to hopefully help him out. So far it hasn't worked, but we will keep hopeing.

Kiah is down at Grandma and Grandpa's. Grandpa stopped here on his adventure back from Canada. She went to him and wasn't about to let go of him.

All went fine at my checkup.

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 09:43 PM (CDT)
Hello,

Things here are as normal as can be. We had Ally and Brandon till Mon evening and then they went back to their house. No baby yet. The contractions stopped and so we are back to the waiting game.

I am going to have Adam and Siri here tomarrow. Ann and Alan have to make a trip south and askled me if I would watch the kids for them. I need to open up daycare if this keeps up.LOL.

Chad is feeling fine. They ran another C.Diff. test on him on Mon. We will hopefully find out the results of that tomarrow. I had to go to the Dr. myself today. First time I have been to the Dr. for myself in a long time. No reason to worry, just the reg yearly stuff.

Tate has been going to VBS this week. He is loving every bit of it. He has a program on Thur. night. It will be his first program. He came home singing songs for it tonight.

Kiah is her usual self. Hopefully we can get threw a summer with no ear infections and get her headed on the right track come this fall.

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 06:50 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

No baby yet. She went in with contractions 2 min apart but not lasting long. So they sent her home. They left the kids here for the night and today. I just talked to them and they were about to head back in. She said she is getting to the point there is no smiling inbetween and having to start her breathing.

The kids all "camped" out on Tate's floor. They were still awake at 1:30 this morning. I have to play the mean aunt and mommy and tell them if they didn't go to sleep I was going to have to seperate them. They finally crashed after that. They will be spending the night again tonight and then we will go from there. It's been fun, but I now KNOW I don't want any more kids!!! LOL. I don't know how you did it Carol.

Hope everyone has a great night,

Jen

Saturday, June 08, 2002 at 09:36 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are going good. The big news of the day happened tonight. Melissa(Chad's sister) went into labor. So we have 2 more added to our family tonight. Ally and Brandon are at the moment sleeping on the floor along with Tate in his room. We will see if Chad and I get any sleep tonight. All we are hearing so far iw giggleing comeing from that end of the house.

Before that Chad and I took the kids to a carnival set up at the mall parking lot. Tate had a ball on the rides.

Hope everyone has a good evening and tomarrow,

Jen

Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 08:31 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

I must be more pc literate than I think I am. I manageed to get our laptop hooked up to the dsl line.

Chad is doing good. It seems as though things are returning to "normal" around here. (crossing my fingers) The last time I said that Chad came down the C.Diff.

Hope everyone has a great day,

Jen

Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 08:29 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things are still going good tonight. Chad worked all day. Thank goodness he hasn't gotten sick since Mon. His tummy still isn't cooperating 100% but it's better than it has been.

I probably won't be on for a couple days. We are moving things around in the livingroom and the cord won't be long enough to reach the PC. So don't panic if there is no update. I am going to try and get the lap top hooked up, but we will see how that goes.

Take care everyone,

Jen

P.S. Carol... NO I'm not prego. My sis-in-law is and is due any day. I already said I got my 2!!! If we have another I will be raising some heck at the clinic!!! LOL

Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 09:03 PM (CDT)
Hello,

The prayers must have worked. Chad went to work today. He also got his Hickman Catheter out today. He is now tube free. It's been almost a year since he hasn't had a tube of some sorts in him. They also said that his counts are high enough that they don't have to do the weekly blood checks on him. So other than the C.Diff. that he is having to deal with things are Dr. free right now. We will still have monthly visits with our oncologist. At least till the end of July anyways, when we have to head back to Mayo for the day +100 checkup.

Things here at the house were even better. It's amazing what a little change can do.

Tate was a little monster today. Every time I turned around today I was putting him in time out. Whether it was for taking a game outside that he wasn't sposse to or desiding that his battery powered Hot Wheels Jeep needed REAL gas. He's definetly all boy.

Kiah was having fun tonight wearing her big brothers shoes. She is trying so hard to communicate to us. Everything is hand gestures and "UH". It's amazing how fast they grow.

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Monday, June 03, 2002 at 09:12 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Chad is doing the same. He got sick again tonight. He isn't able to work which is really starting to get to him. Those of you that know Chad know that if he isn't working there is definetly SOMETHING wrong. I sure hope it clears up soon. It has made thinsg around the house here kind of tough. He gets edgy real easy. And with me being the one dealing with the kids all day I'm not in much better of a mood by evening.

The kids are doing good though. Tate came running to me tonight to let me know daddy was throwing up outside. He knows something is wrong with daddy. He just thinks its the flu though like he has gotten.

Keep the prayers comming,

Jen

Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 09:06 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

CHad is still doing about the same. They got him on some meds. They have broke his fever but his tummy is still doing flip flops. He got sick this morning.

I took Tate to see the movie Spirit today. He loved it. It was really good. It gave us some time together. Chad stayed home with Kiah and they both took naps.

The weekend was quiet. We got the lawn mowed and house cleaned.

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Friday, May 31, 2002 at 07:20 AM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

I tried to update this yesterday, but they must have been having server problems.

Chad has what they call Clostridium Difficile. It is a bacterial infection. It is a normal bacteria in your body, but it is a bad one. Well all the antibiotics he has been on they have killed the good ones and left this bad one. So they put him on yet another antibiotic to help fix it. It's rather annoying to poor Chad. It gives him very bad diharrea. I was afraid I may have come down with it last night myself. But I seem to be doing better this morning. After almost an hr of being on the pot I don't think there is anything left in my body. And I am sure Chad would agree to feeling the same if not worse.

The kids are still doing good. They had slight colds last week, but the noses have cleared up and they are just having fun being kids.

Carol the kitchen is beige and white. And then all my accent stuff is burgandy and green.

Hope everyone has a wonderfull day,

Jen

Wednesday, May 29, 2002 at 07:59 PM (CDT)
Hello,

Sorry I haven't been updating this as often as I feel I should be. Things just really have settled down around here and we are just going about things as we did when things were "normal".

Actually Carol I have been doing more painting. After we got our new kitchen floor the walls just didn't match. So I have been doing some painting.

The kids are doing great. Tate is outside whenever we will let him. Even in the rain. Kiah is just a bundle of energy and busy trying to communicate with us.

Chad has been a little under the weather. We though it was just a cold bug, but now the Dr's are running tests to make sure it's nothing worse. We will keep you all updated on that. He saw our reg Dr. today. His counts are up though. So in that respect he's doing very well.

I'm doing good. My body has finally ajusted to not having the drugs. I'm just busy cleaning house and keeping the kids out of the poison ivy. The ticks are officially out in full force. The other night both Chad and I were up twice with ticks. I hate them nasty things. We have frontline that we put on the dog. It works great, but I think what happens is they get on her, she comes inside, and the ticks crawl off. So then later in the day we find the ticks on us!

Oh well.

Hope everyone else is doing good,

Jen

Sunday, May 26, 2002 at 08:14 AM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are normal. Life is beginning to return to the way it used to be. Melissa and Joff(Chad's sister and brother-in-law) moved to town this past week. We have been with them almost every day. The kids love getting to play together. Ally and Tate have kind of teamed up so we have to remind them that Brandon is around to and not to pick on him. But we figure it won't be but a couple years and it will be Brandon and Tate and Ally will be the one left out.

Chad is working full time and having no problems. I think he is enjoying being back at work and getting to visit and see people again.

Hope things are good on your end,

Jen

Wednesday, May 22, 2002 at 08:14 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

We got the news we have been waiting for. Chad's platlets are finally high enough to take out his catheter. But the bad news is that they can't schedule him till the beginning of June to do it. So looks like he has to be patient and wait a couple more weeks.

Tate and Kiah are doing good. Kiah rambles like crazy. Tonight I was on the phone talking to a freind and she wanted to talk. I put the phone up to her ear and I heard my friend say "Hi" and she said hi back. Then she said "how are you?" and Kiah answered her back with "good". It was so cute to see her interacting like that.

My brain is finally catching up to my body. I am still having a few problems, but it's much better than it was a few days ago.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Monday, May 20, 2002 at 08:43 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here have been busy but nice. Chad and I met my parents in Dorset for supper on Sat night for our Anniv. It was a nice evening.

Chad is doing good. His counts continue to climb. He still has his catheter and hopefully it won't be long before they can take it out.

The kids are doing great. They are having a ball getting to finally play outside. They both come in at the end of the night filthy dirty.

The Dr had put me on anti-depressants when Chad was diagnosed and we desided now that things have settled down a bit it would be a good time to go off them. They have really sent my body into a tail spin. It's like my brain is behind my body by 3 seconds at all times. It's a very strange feeling and just makes me want to do nothing but sleep. It is slowly getting better and hopefully within a day or so I will be able to say I am "normal" again.(ya right)

I want to send out a special thank you to you all for your words of wisdom and prayers over the past year. It's amazing it's almost been that long. And they said Chad wouldn't be here right now. They didn't know just how stubbern and determined of a person he is!!! But seriously it's because of all the prayers and well wishes that have made it possible for us to make it from one day to the next. I hope you all realize how important each and every one of you is to us. If it wasn't for family and friends where would a person be. I don't even want to imagine.

Things in our lives have changed in the last year. And it's been for the better. Granted we get just like you guys and one day turns into another and another. And you start to take things for granted and expect that things will be the same and life will just roll on to the next year as the one before it did. But just remember to hug and kiss your family and friends and tell them just how important they are to you. Cause you never know when the day will come when God will deside your job is done. So don't say you will do it tomarrow, or expect for them to know. Reach out and say it or do something to remind them.

Returning to some "normalicy"

Jen

Thursday, May 16, 2002 at 09:16 PM (CDT)
Hi,

Things here are good. I went back to work today. Things went good there. They kept me busy.

Chad is going to go back to work tomarrow just half days to start. He has been warned by more than one person that if he over does it and ends up making things worse he would be on there sh*t list. So he better behave.

As you all have heard Sat is our 6yr anniv. We arn't sure what we are doing yet. I did say though that we ARE going out.

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 07:31 AM (CDT)
Hello,

Things are going good. Chad had his counts checked yesterday. There all doing good and hopefully his platlets will be high enough soon that he can get his catheter out of his chest.

The kids are doing great. Tate has been playing outside as much as he can. Kiah wants to be out there in the worst way. I am thinking today while the guys are here cleaning our duct work I will get both kids into the back yard and get it straightened up so they can go out whenever they want and I don't have to worry about them.

As you heard we had to pull up our kitchen lino. because of mold and mildew under it. They also said we have to get the ducts cleaned for the same reason. I guess that's what you get for buying an old house. LOL. Well and then having your hubby go threw a stem cell. They say the chance of him getting a bacterial or yeast infection in his lungs is so high. He has to be VERY carefull.

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Sunday, May 12, 2002 at 08:47 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Happy Mother's Day to all you Mom's out there.

My parents were here today. It was nice to see my mom on mom's day. It was a good day. Things here are pretty normal. Chad still gets tired during the day and needs a nap now and then. But overall considering what he was just threw he is doing very well. I think it helps to have the kids. You don't think about yourself as much and having fun with them more.

Hope everyone had a wonderful day,

Jen

Saturday, May 11, 2002 at 09:55 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here have been hectic getting back to "real life". I"m sorry this hasn't been updated.

Chad is doing great. He has strict orders not to go back to work for another week. He told the Dr. being home chaseing kids was more work than being at work.

Kiah has gotten another ear infection. We are hopeing to get her threw the summer without one and maybe her ears will clear up. If not I"m sure tubes are in her future.

Tate has been more than happy to be home. He loves the idea of being in his own bed.. But then who doesn't. C.J. missed home just as much as us if not more. She has been sticking real close to us and the house.

I hope everything is going good.

Jen

Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 12:58 PM (CDT)
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

WE ARE GOING HOME!!!! We got the ok from the Dr. today. We will spend the night here and then get up and go in the morning. We will go to mom and dads and pick up Kiah and go from there.

Day +14

HGB-9.3, WBC-13.1, PLT-35

Hello,

All 3 of chad's counts came up today!!!! We have an appt with the Dr. at 2:30 today. Hopefully he will give us the news that we can go home. I will update this after we talk to him and let you all know more.

Things are going great. Tate is going to officially turn into a fish. The minute we get back to the hotel he says "can we go swimming?" He has no fear of the water what so ever. He has arm floats he puts on and he just goes. He even plays by himself when I have had my fair share of water. Chad can't swim because of his hickman line. He hopefully will get that removed before we leave.

Jen

Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 12:49 PM (CDT)
Day +13

HGB-8.7, WBC-11.2, PLT-25

Hello,

Things are going good. We are on track to hopefully get out of here by this weekend. Today was his last shot of groth factor. Now we just need to sit and wait to see what his counts are. Once they see that they are on a continuious climb they will contact our main dr. and see about getting us out of here.

Tate has been sooooo good. We took him this morning to the toy store and told him he could pick out a toy because he had been so good. He picked out a child size 3d puzzle. It has about 10 peices and makes a tiger. He has spent the last 1 1/2 hrs working on trying to get it together. He hasn't gotten frustrated or anything. He's just playing nice and being a sweetheart.

Hope everything is good with all of you.

Jen

Monday, May 06, 2002 at 01:10 PM (CDT)
Day +12

HGB- 9.3, WBC- 7.5, PLT- 25

Hello,

Things are going good. Chad got permission to not wear his mask except for when we have to go to the hospital. They also took him off a couple of his pills. He no longer needs the shot of antibiotics. And they are saying they will probably stop his growth hormone shots tomarrow.

All of these things are baby steps to getting to going home. So for alot of them to be happening at the same time is great.

Tate is having a ball and was in the pool 3 times yesterday. He was out by 7:45 last night and slept threw till 7:30 this morning when we had to wake him up. We took him to a HUGE kids play area this morning. He had a ball. Chad and I were both impressed though that when it was time to leave he didn't fight us at all. But on the way back to the hotel he was already starting in on the pool. LOL.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Sunday, May 05, 2002 at 02:23 PM (CDT)
Day +11

HGB- 9.5, WBC- 2.8, PLT- 22

Hello,

Things here are great. Chad's counts are starting to climb. They are saying they may be able to get me home by Mother's day. The dr today said he is officially engrafting. Which means the cells they gave him have "locked" into the marrow and gave the marrow the "kick start" it needed.

It was great to see Mom and Dad and the kids. We desided to keep Tate here with us. He has been wonderful this afternoon and thinks it's great that he can be with mom and dad.

We once again switched rooms. We desided that with Tate here with us we needed a bigger room than what we had. We are now in room 807. It's no longer a suite. But it does have a microwave and fridge. We are on the top floor of the hotel. It's so pretty to look out the window and see spring "springing" up everywhere.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day,

Jen

Saturday, May 04, 2002 at 12:09 PM (CDT)
Day +10

HGB- 9.1, WBC- .8, PLT- .26

Hello everyone,

Chad is doing much better today. He had buffalo wings from Dominos last night for supper and realized that his tummy wasn't quite ready for that fat and greasy food. He was much better this morning though. His throut is also better today and is making some lunch at the moment.

Also all his blood work they ran the other day came back negative. So they were able to stop one of the antibiotics. He is still getting the one 2 times a day, but it's a push instead of an IV drip so we arn't hanging out at the hospital for an hr.

His WBC are continueing to climb. The rest are falling. We need them all climbing for a few days in order to get to go home. We can expect the PLT to climb next and last is the HGB.

We are waiting for mom and dad to get here so we can see the kids. It will be great to get to see them. The nurses at the hospital have given us orders to bring them up there as well.

Hope everyone has a great day,

Jen

Friday, May 03, 2002 at 12:40 PM (CDT)
Day +9

HGB- 9.3, WBC- .3, PLT- 39

Hello Everyone,

Chad is doing much better today. His throut is still sore and thus is still on his liquid diet. But overall he is feeling better.

I think we both are getting excited about the kids coming down tomarrow as well. Also with his WBC comming up that point we are hopeing this could be the uphill climb. Of course we are a little optomistic. But the nurse we talked to said maybe. The dietician we talked to today said the by the end of next week they should be trying to get us out of here. We both sure hope so.

Take care everyone!!!

Jen

Thursday, May 02, 2002 at 01:32 PM (CDT)
Day +8

HGB- 9.5, WBC- .2, PLT- 47

Hello,

Chad spiked his fever last night. We had to go in and get some IV antibiotics. We haven't heard back on the cultures yet.

The main difference is that we now have to go in twice a day for checkups instead of once. So we have to be there at 9 and 6:30.

His mouth is the same. They gave him some imodium last night and his tummy is finally starting to settle down. His throut is still sore. His mouth is better, but they say the throut actually swells and that's what is causing him problems right now. He still has a low grade fever. It is running around 99.6.

He is feeling a little better today over all. But his counts are still dropping so we arn't on the way up yet.

Hope things are good,

Jen

Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 01:35 PM (CDT)
Day +7

HGB- 10.5, WBC- .2, PLT- 74

Hello,

Things are slowly progressing downward. Today Chad has become very fatigued. His mouth is still sore and only able to get liquids down. And his diarrhea is still hanging in there. He says his tummy is turning like 2, 2 liter bottles taped together and dumped back and forth. I can be sitting across the room and hear his tummy rumbleing. He also is running a low grade fever. They say this is normal. The body is trying so hard to make the cells to fight off anything.

The Dr's and nurses keep telling us he is doing very good. It's just hard to see him going threw this.

I hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Tuesday, April 30, 2002 at 12:52 PM (CDT)
Day +6

HGB- 11.0, WBC- .1, PLT- 10

Hello,

Things are the same as yesterday as far as Chad's eating. He has to go in today for a plt infusuion. He's been a little more tired today. Chad has been running a low grade fever. They say it is usual at this stage. If it goes over 101.3 we have to call in and they will bring us in and get him started on some iv antibiotics.

All the nurses and Dr's say that he is on "cruise control" and doing great.

Hope everything is good with everyone,

Jen

Monday, April 29, 2002 at 01:26 PM (CDT)
DAY +5

HGB- 11.2, WBC- .1, PLT- 23

Hello,

Things are the same as yesterday. Chad is on an official liquid diet. popsicles, jello, boost shakes, and pudding are pretty much his staples. They are pushing to make sure he is getting enough liquid. They want him taking in a minimun of 64 ozs a day.

They will more than likely give him a platlet transfusion tomarrow. They are suprised at how his HGB is hanging in there though.

It's a beautiful dau down here today. Much better than the rain and snow we have had the past few days. It is sposse to hit 62 today.

Chad is still having a bout or 2 of diahrrea a day. But besides that and his mouth being sore he is doing very well. THe Dr. said today he is flying threw this. Chad looked at him and said "I am??" LOL

Hope everyone has a great day,

Jen

P.S. I want to share this with you. I wrote a short story about Chad's experience for another DSRCT site. Thought some of you might like to see it.

Chad was a 29 yr old male, married 5 years, with 2 children (3 months & 3 years) at the time of diagnoses. He is a very healthy energetic person with a love for life.

He had a small side ache back in Feb of 2001 for about a week. He went into the Dr. and at that time desided it was a pulled muscle and to give it a few more days to go away. It did just that. Then in June of 2001 it came back. Again Chad waited a few days to see if it would go away. This time it didn't and again went into the Dr.s. This time they diagnosed it as an ulcer and sent him home with meds to control it. Two days later things weren't adding up and he was still in pain. He went back into the Dr.s and they ran a Ct Scan and found the tumors. Two days later he was operated on and a biopsy performed. A week later he was sent to the Roger Maris Cancer Center in Fargo, ND. Without even being diagnosed yet they desided it would be best to get going on some Chemo. That evening after the first round of Chemo they had finally diagnosed Chad with Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Tumor.

Over the next few months we tried several different Chemo's with little effect. Each time they would say "Well, It hasn't grown, but it's not shrinking either." In Dec. They thought it would be best to do surgery and remove as much as they could. So on Dec. 31st, they did surgery. They ended up removing his spleen, part of his pancreas, and a sliver of his stomach. For the next week we recovered in the hospital. Our Dr. in Fargo desided that they had done everything they could and the next step was to go to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota for further treatment. Rochester desided it would be best to follow up with 3 more rounds of chemo and then "mop up" with a Stem Cell Transplant. So Chad continued with 2 more rounds of chemo. Before the 3rd round he went back down to Rochester for further testing. They then did the 3rd round and following that began giving him large doses of growth hormone shots to get his counts ready for harvest. He then harvested his cells and also came down with a slight case of phemonia. They sent him home for a week to recover. He then was brought back down to Mayo for the transplant. They gave him high dose chemo and implanted his cells and is now on the road to recovery. He is at day +5 right now and the Dr.s say he is doing very well.

After his recovery from the Stem Cell they are planning on doing 3 weeks of low dose radiation at the site of where the tumor was. After that we will begin the waiting game. Every 3 months they will do a CT Scan to see if anything develops.

We beleive that it has been the grace of God, and a positive additude that has gotten us to the point we are at. If there is one thing I tell tell someone out there it's to never give up. Everyone is going to die some day, most people just arn't given a time. The only one that desides that time is God. Put your hand in his and let him lead you threw the rough times in your life. Stay positive and anything can be accomplished. As I have told many people "If god is willing to give us the next 50 yrs, I know we will be together, cause if we can get threw this, we can get threw anything."

Sunday, April 28, 2002 at 02:46 PM (CDT)
Day +4

HGB- 10.9, WBC- .2, PLT- .47

Hello Everyone,

Chad is having a rough day today. It's getting alot harder for him to eat. We got him some sport shakes and popsicles. He's also getting a little edgy. His throut is getting very sore.

We thought he would end up getting a plt. transplant today. But the nurse said they like to wait till it gets more in the 20-30 range. So maybe in another day or to.

Roy and Phyliss came down yesterday. It was great to see them and be able to visit with someone.

Hope everyone is doing good.

Jen

Sunday, April 28, 2002 at 02:38 PM (CDT)
Day +4

HGB- 10.9, WBC- .2, PLT- .47

Hello Everyone,

Things are getting a rough today. Chad can't eat. We got him some sport shakes and popsicles. His throut has gotten very sore. He is still manageing to keep his weight on. And I am now pushing him to keep drinking something. He's also getting a little edgy.

We were thinking they would give him a platlet transfusion today, but the nurse we talked to said they will wait until it drops to between 20-30 before they do it. So probably another day or so.

It was great to visit with Roy and Phyliss for a day. Gave us something to do anyways.

Hope everyone is doing good.

Jen

Saturday, April 27, 2002 at 05:57 PM (CDT)
Day +3

HGB- 11.4, WBC- .2, PLT- 79

Hello Everyone,

Things are going good. Chad's dad came down to see us today. He was sposse to bring Tate with, but yesterday he came down with a slight cold and didn't want to risk it. It's good to see another face and someone to talk to.

They will probably be giving Chad a plat. transfusion tomarrow. They don't like when that drops below 100.

We went out for supper tonight. Chad was hungry for Pizza. I sure hope he sleeps better tonight than last night. He flopped like a fish most of the night and by 4 I couldn't sleep with him any longer and went out to the couch to sleep.

He's still eating good and not getting sick. The diahrea is slowing down. Chad sure hopes it stops soon. His bottom is getting pretty sore.

Hope everything is good with everyone,

Jen

Friday, April 26, 2002 at 04:06 PM (CDT)
Day +2

HGB- 11.5, WBC- 0.1, PLT- 134

Hello,

Things are going good. Chad had some diarrea yesterday and today. He sais his tummy has stopped rumbleing and hopefully we are at the end of it. Chad has had such a STRONG odor of sweet corn I have slept on the hidabed in the livingroom the past 2 nights. It seems to be subsiding some. Maybe I will even be able to sleep with him tonight LOL.

His counts are hanging in there. They are slowly dropping, but nothing to worry about yet besides the WBC. Which is something we are used to dealing with from past chemos. But no need for any more blood yet.

We have been just hanging out at the hotel today. Chad didn't sleep very good last night so he took a nap today. He's still eating good. He wants crunchy things. Soft things just don't seem to taste good to him.

Hope things are going good for all of you. It's great to hear from you guys in the guestbook.

Jen

Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 12:23 PM (CDT)
Day +1

HGB- 11.4, WBC- .2, PLT- 140

Hello Everyone,

Things are going good. Chad is getting spells where he feels "funky" but has managed to not throw up the last couple days. Station 73 says he's doing great. The Dr. couldn't beleive that he had a frozen pizza for supper last night.

I am going to list all the drugs they have him on. And what they do. Just for those of you that are worrying about him and for those of you in the medical area that will understand it. LOL.

ANTIDEPRESSION
Celexa- 20mg

MOUTH WASHES FOR MOUTH SORES
Glutamine- 2mg 4x a day
Peridex- 15cc 4x a day

ANTI NAUSEA
Compazine- 10mg
Zofran- 4mg
Ativan- 1mg

ANTIBIOTICS
Valtrex- 500mg
Doxycycline- 100mg
Fluconazole- 400mg
Levaquin- 500mg

As you can see they have given him every drug you can think of.

I hope everything is going good.

Jen

Wednesday, April 24, 2002 at 08:24 AM (CDT)
Day 0

HGB- 11.0, WBC- 0.2, PLT- 211

Just to let you guys know we are almost al 10,000 hits and this site has been up 267 days whuch means almost 38 hits a day!!!! WOW!!!!

Chad will get his cells back today. They are going to give him 9 syringes. They felt it would be best to give him back all his cells. They have said for the next few days Chad is going to smell like garlic or sweet corn. The preservative that they put the cells in has that effect.

The kids are doing good at Grandma and Grandpas. I think Tate is missing Daddy. Mom said he's had a couple rough days. Hopefully after he gets to see Daddy this weekend that will improve.

I hope everything is going good with everyone.

Jen

Tuesday, April 23, 2002 at 01:55 PM (CDT)
Day -1

HGB- 9.2, WBC- 1.7, PLT- 263

Hello,

Chad got released from the hospital. He was doing good enough they said there was no need for him to be there. We have to go back at 6 tomarrow morning and get his cells back. We will be there most of tomarrow.

Chad got sick tonight. He's got a very easy gag reflux and that is what is giving him the hard time. He has a tough time brushing his teeth without getting sick. He's still eating good though.

So far so good. Things are going as they should be.

Keep in touch,

Jen

Monday, April 22, 2002 at 09:27 AM (CDT)
Day -2

HGB- 10.2, WBC- 6.6, PLT- 321

Hello,

Chad is doing good. He woke up last night at 4 in the morning with bad heartburn. As they were giving him meds for that he ended up getting sick. So they are going to start giving him a med for the heartburn instead of waiting for it to come on again. He will get his last round of chemo today. It sure has gone fast. The dr's are suprised that he hasn't gotten mouth sores yet. They are saying that being he hasn't gotten em yet that if he does it should be a mild case.

Overall things are going very good. He's getting a little grumpy with the whole Catheter thing. But hopefully it will come out tomarrow.

Yes we got snow yesterday. But it is sposse to be 60 the rest of the week. This next weekend Roy(Chad's dad) will be comming down. He is going to bring Tate down for the weekend. I think we have been missing the kids as much or more than they are missing us.

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

P.S. Hi Anna, It was GREAT to hear from you. Glad to know your having fun over there. I loved the summer I was there.

Sunday, April 21, 2002 at 10:01 AM (CDT)
Hello,

Day -3

HGB- 9.9, WBC- 6.2, PLT- 345

Chad is doing good. He's still feeling nasious, but taking the chemo good over all. He's getting his chemo again now.

He's been busy with the draft this weekend. I guess he has nothing better to do he can at least sit and analize all the players the Vikings are picking up. LOL.

I got into the soldier's field this morning. We will be in room 49. I also asked the head of housekeeping to only let people in the room that don't have colds or viruses. They said it could be done.

I hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 10:45 AM (CDT)
Day -4

HGB- 10.5, WBC- 10.8, PLT- 401

Hello,

Chad is getting his chemo. He's been feeling flushed and red in the face. He got sick this morning.

We are changing hotels. Tonight will be my last night at the Ramada. We are going to go back to Soldier's Feild Best Western. We got a 2 room suite. That way if Chad isn't feeling good he can rest and I can still be in the livingroom doing my thing. It's also over all just a cleaner hotel and that's one of the main things we will have to worry about after he gets out of the hospital.

The adress to Soldier's Field is 401 6th St SW Rochester, MN 55902. The phone numbers are 1800 366-2067, 507-288-2677.

We will let you know what room we are in tomarrow after I check in.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Friday, April 19, 2002 at 11:33 AM (CDT)
Hello,

Day -5

Chad's counts are HGB-8.1, WBC-2.2, PLT-454

They put a Catheter in this morning to stop any chances of the new chemo he is getting today from affecting his bladder. They say this chemo is very hard on the liver and bladder. They are going to be giving him 7 quarts of fluid a day while on the new chemo. Another reason for the Catheter. He would be peeing so much otherwise they said he would be just sitting in the bathroom the whole time. The new Chemo is called Cytoxan. He is receiving 3,355 mgs a day.

So far so good. They are going to give Chad a Blood Transfusion this afternoon. His HGB is a little low and they don't want to see it get lower.

Will keep you informed.

Jen

Thursday, April 18, 2002 at 04:08 PM (CDT)
Day -6

Chad's counts today were Hgb-9, WBC-4.3, and Plt-481.

Chad is doing good. They gave him his chemo again today. He said his taste buds are starting to change. Things arn't tasting as good as they once did. They let him leave him room today and go sit on the patient patio. So he was out there for quite awhile.

I went home yesterday to finish up some things at the house. I went horseback riding at the neighbors and managed to fall off. He's a young horse with little training. We were trotting along and he saw a fence post laying down which scared him and he jumped to the side and went up a hill. I just couldn't hang on when he made that jump and off I went. I'm ok, just a little sore. I'm just glad then when I went off he didn't take off and I would of had to explain to Sands that I lost there horse. But he just stood there and looked at me like "What are you doing down there?"

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Wednesday, April 17, 2002 at 08:55 AM (CDT)
Day -7

Things are going good. Chad is still feeling good and having no problems. They will give him another 500 mgs of Chemo today.

It's suprising all the things they can do to him. LOL. They are testing EVERYTHING that comes out of him for bacteria. They also don't even come into his room without gloves on. Everything has to stay as sanitary as possible. They won't even let him use his own toothbrush. He has to use those pink spongy things and use saline to brush his teeth.

The kids are doing good at Grandma's and Grandpa's. I guess Kiah is starting to talk. Tate is having a ball, but not liking nap time at daycare. LOL. C.J. is with friends Ann and Alan. I heard she is doing good by the entry on the geustbook.

Jen

Tuesday, April 16, 2002 at 08:51 AM (CDT)
Day -8
Good morning,

Things are going good so far this morning. They have Chad hooked up and we are waiting to start his Chemo. They have his chemo going. He ahs to take a shower every 6 hrs while on this chemo. It actually comes out threw the skin. He's still feeling good and having no problems.

The name is the Chemo is Thiotepa. He is receiving 500 mgs a day for the next 3 days.

We will have MSN Messenger up all day so if any of you want to check in directly bring that up and we will be there. My email addy on MSN is marty_jazz@hotmail.com. I added you to my list Carol, but I don't see you!!!

Jen

P.S. They informed us that Chad cannot have fresh flowers or fresh fruit or veggies while in the hospital. So if you plan on sending anything of that sorts, please send it to the hotel so it doesn't get wasted. Thanks

Monday, April 15, 2002 at 03:46 PM (CDT)
Hello,

Things are going good. Chad had a blood test this morning and then this afternoon we met with the dr. and got the go ahead on chemo tomarrow. I am going to start doing things a little different with the web site so you guys will know exactly what is going on when. Tomarrow will be day -8. On all the negative days Chad will be getting Chemo. On day 0 will be infusion day where they put the cells back in his body. And then we start with the + days untill we come home. They say as long as Chad stays healthy and doesn't get any fevers on day 0 he will be let out of the hospital and we will go on outpatient basis.

He will be receiving 2 different Chemos. Days -8 threw -6 will be Trietepa and days -5 threw -2 will be Cytoxan. Then day -1 will be a rest day and 0 again will be infusion. I will give more details later.

Hope everything is good with everyone,

Jen

P.S. I can officially say I am 29 and not be lying!!! LOL.

P.P.S. We have switched rooms. We are now in room 305. It has 2 beds instaed of one and it's also a non-smoking room. For some odd reason they had put us in a smoking room so this morning I asked to be switched. This room also has an ajoining room. It's room number 303. We also now have that extra bed so if you want to come down and not get a room your welcome to stay with us.

Thank you Jason and Vicki for the basket of flowers. There very pretty, and on my b-day of all days!!!

Sunday, April 14, 2002 at 08:11 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

We made it to Rochester. Things went good today and is was a beautiful drive down.

We are staying at the Ramada Limited in room 326. The phone # is (507)288-9090. The adresss is 435 16th Ave NW, Rochester, MN 55901. We are in an ajoining room. The room next to us is room 324. So if any of you are thinking about coming down to see us and want to stay over ask for that room. We would be able to open the ajoining door.

You can always reach us by cell phone or email also. You can also leave a msg on our voice mail at home. We will be checking it once a day.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Saturday, April 13, 2002 at 04:04 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Pam and John have been here visiting. It's been great to have them around. Chad is doing wonderfull.

Tomarrow we will head down to Mayo again. We will let you know where we will be staying and room # and stuff when we get there.

I put up pics of Kiah's room and the livingroom. I also put a new pic of the kids up.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Thursday, April 11, 2002 at 09:39 PM (CDT)
Hello,

Things are going good. Chad went to work today. John came up tonight with my parents. It will be good for Chad to be able to BS with his old buddy for a couple days before they hit him with the chemo.

Jen

Wednesday, April 10, 2002 at 08:18 PM (CDT)
Hello,

Things here are good. CHad stayed home to spend the day with Tate again. He asked Tate tonight if he could go to work tomarrow and got the ok. Tate said "Ya, as long as it's not a long day." LOL. He's such a sweetie.

I've just been busy cleaning. I"m just trying to get it as clean as I can so when we do come back home it's one less thing I have to worry about.

Pam and John are coming up to see us this weekend. It will be great to get together with them again. It's been a long time. I think the last time they saw Kiah she was about 3 months old.

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Tuesday, April 09, 2002 at 08:22 PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone,

Ok... Stacy don't feel stupid at all asking questions. MANY people have no clue what we are talking about when we say stem cell transplant.

To explain it all from beginning to end is in 3 steps.

First is the harvest. That is where they collect Chad's cells and freeze them for later. That is what we just got done doing this past week in Mayo.

Second, is the Chemo. This is where they will give Chad VERY high doses of Chemo and kill all the cells in his body. By doing this they hope to kill the bad ones as well. But this process also shuts down the bone marrow and his body is no longer able to make the cells needed to support him.

That is where step 3 comes in. After his blood has reached basically zero. They will put back in his stem cells that they froze and hope they go and attach to the bone marrow and make it start working again.

This is a very long process and where the next month comes in. Usually it is about a week after the chemo that they put the cells back in and usually about 3-4 weeks AFTER that, that we can come home. Chad has to have a "caregiver" with him the whole time he is down there. That is where I come in. I will have to be down there the whole time he is. Or someone.

I hope this clears things up for some of you. It's hard because I have gotten so used to the medical terms I forget that the "normal" people have never heard of.

So please don't hesitate to ask me a question, I'll try to explain the best I can.

Jen

Tuesday, April 09, 2002 at 06:48 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Today was just a quiet day at home with the kids. I think Chad and I both had missed them more than we wanted to admit.

We have just been cleaning and trying to get things in order for the next month. I had to go do some grocery shopping. Chad has been tackleing the basment trying to get it clean. It was a HUGE mess. You can actually get to the freezer now!!! LOL.

And the biggest news of all is that we got the reg. computer fixed! We now have color again!!! LOL.

Hope everyone else had a good day.

Jen

Monday, April 08, 2002 at 09:27 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

We are home. We got out of Mayo sooner than we thought(a first I think for a medical procedure!!!) so we went and got the kids and kept going. It will be good to be in our own beds tonight. Chad finished up with a total of 4.98 million stem cells collected. They said close enough. LOL.

Carol you were asking what a Merhercer is. It is a tube that goes into one of the main artery's in your neck and has 2 ends on it. They hook the harvest machine up to it and it pumps his blood out and threw the machine. It spins out his cells(just like the spin cycle on your washing machine) and then pumps the blood back into him. Then after he is done harvesting they remove it by just pulling it out and applying pressure to stop him from bleeding. He came home with just a band aid over where they pulled it out. It's amazing to think of the stuff they can do now days.

The other surgery they did was took out his port and put in a Hickman catheter. Which also is hooked up to a main artery in his body. This one though comes out of his chest. It also has 2 ends. Every day we need to flush these ends so that they don't clog up. Every other day we change the bandage that covers the exit hole. And once a week we have to change the caps that are on the ends of it. I feel like I am living with the bionic man. All I need now is a plug on him to plug him into the wall and recharge him LOL.

The kids are great. Kiah got a clean bill of health on her ear once again. We'll see how long it lasts this time. Tate was more than excited to see his Daddy. He hasn't let him out of his sight all night.

I'm doing great. I'm actually suprising myself at this point with how I am handleing the stress of the whole transplant buisness.

The next step is for Chad to get rid of his Phemonia and then we are to report back to Mayo on the 15th(my b-day)for more labs and then he will be admitted on the 16th for the beginning of the chemo.

Hope everyone is doing well,

Jen

P.S. I need to send out a special thank you to 7-main in Fargo for the email!!! You guys are the best. Please say a special HI to Beth Ann and Nathan for us!!! Let them know everything is going great and we wouldn't be where we are today if it wasn't for ALL of you guys!!! WE LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Monday, April 08, 2002 at 09:37 AM (CDT)
Hello,

Chad is at 3.72 total today!!! THey say after he is done today and he gets his merhercer out we can go home!!! So I am packing up the hotel while his is getting harvested. We will probably stay at Mom and Dad's tonight and go home tomarrow.

Take care everyone!!!

Jen

Sunday, April 07, 2002 at 08:09 AM (CDT)
good morning,

We are at harvest again. Chad did 1.08 million yesterday with the 1.26 that we had makes 2.32!!! Almost half way there!!!

Mom has said the kids are bring good and doing Ok. We are worried that Kiah may still have ear infection. We are praying not, but it's not looking that way. The dr. said that if it's not cleared up they will be looking at doing tubes.

Hope everything is doing good.

Jen

Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 12:15 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad had harvest again this morning. They got 1.26 million yesterday. We need 5 million to be done. So we will probably be here till Mon or Tue. Then they are going to send us home for a few days. We will have to report back down here on the 15th for the Chemo.

Chad is done for the day now. So we are just going to hang out for the day. He looks kind of funny to go walking around anywheres.

Hope all is well with everyone,

Jen

Friday, April 05, 2002 at 08:09 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Chad is doing ok. He got his surgery and 1st harvest done. Now we just wait for a call to see if we are done or not. If not we will be back at 7am tomarrow for another day of harvest.

Chad looks rough with all the tubes that are coming out of his body right now. The one on his neck really looks bad. But hopefully it won't have to be there more than a few days. It is just for the harvest and then they take it out.

Chad is wondering how they expect him to sleep tonight with it hanging from his neck though. He may end up sleeping in the recliner.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Thursday, April 04, 2002 at 09:07 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad is having surgery tomarrow at 7 AM. They will take out his port and put in a hickman and merhercer. The merhercer is for the harvesting only. The hickman is for afterwards putting the stem cells back in. They are actually planning on starting his harvest as well tomarrow.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Thursday, April 04, 2002 at 01:03 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things are going good. Chad had a blood test this morning and we found out his CD34 Cells(the ones they need) are threw the roof!!! They figure he may only ned to harvest for a day or two instead of a week!!! We also found out yesterday as we were leaving the house that Chad has pnemonia. They don't seem to worried about it though, cause he is on meds already.

Carol you asked about C.J.. We tell Mom and Dad it's a package deal, they get the kids they get the dog to! LOL. I'm sure it stays very busy around there house with the 2 kids and 2 dogs. Expecially when they are so used to the "quietness" that has grown on them with us kids moving out. But Dad has comented in the past that it is quiet now when they are NOT there.

If you need to get ahold of us we are staying at the Soldier's Field Best Western again. THey have wonderfull service and a GREAT shuttle service. We are in room 205. the number is (507)288-2677. You can also reach us on the cell phone (218)556-0100. THey allow you to have cell phones on in the clinic and the hospital. So if at any time you need us you can call that number.

You can also send us an e-mail at marty@bemidjichrysler.com. We have the laptop set up so we can get our reg eamil. The web cam won't be on while we are down here at least for now. We had to reload WindowsXP and lost the drives for the cam. So untill I get home we can't have it on.

Keep in touch guys and if any of you have MSN Messenger we are on there under the email marty_jazz@hotmail.com. Please look us up.

Jen

Wednesday, April 03, 2002 at 01:02 PM (CST)
Hello,

Talked to the Dr. this morning and we are now headed to mayo for an unknown length of time. If you guys need to get ahold of us we will have the lap top and Chad has assured me that it will work in Mayo, so we should be able to get our email from down there.

The kids are headed to Mom and Dad's. We eventually want to bring the kids down for a few days here and there, but are going to wait tilll we know what's going on.

The good news is Chad's fever has broke. It's down to 100.4 now. Still a fever, but MUCH better than 105. He had me a little scared last night.

I need to send a HUGE thank you out to Heather for coming over last night to watch the kids while we went into the ER.

Will keep you all updated on what's going on and if you need to get ahold of us you can reach us on our cell the number is (218)556-0100.

Take Care everyone,

Jen

Tuesday, April 03, 2002 at 12:35 AM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things are really starting to wear on Chad today. He came home with the aches, chills, and just not feeling good tonight from work. And then what do I do but tell him to give me an arm for his next shot. LOL. Poor guy. I can only imagine how hard it has to be on him knowing he has to feel like crap in order to get better.

Tate and I went to St. Cloud today. Everything went great. Even in the crappy roads we had this morning.

Carol... I need to give you a special thank you. You seem to be the only one that is leaving me msg's anymore. HINT HINT!!! It's great to know that I'm not typing to myself every day. I know I'm not by the hits on the counter, but it's always nice to have a response to read as well.

Take care everyone and THINK SPRING!!!

Jen

Just wanted to give a quiock update. We were in the ER from 9 to 12 tonight. Chad's fever spiked to 105. They ran a CBC and are running cultures on his blood. THey don't know where the fever is coming from, but sent us home anyways. THey said if he gets limp and nonresponsive to get him back in right away. DUH!!! We will be calling our Dr. in Mayo in the morning just to keep him up on things.

Jen

Monday, April 01, 2002 at 08:16 PM (CST)
Hello,

Things were "normal" today. Chad went in for his CBC. His counts are falling, but still good. We need for them to hit bottom and then when they start to come back up is when we head to mayo.

The kids are good. Tate had a b-day party at daycare today.

Hope things are good with everyone,

Jen

Sunday, March 31, 2002 at 07:08 PM (CST)
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!

I hope everyone had a great easter. Tate was a ball this year. He finally was into the whole Easter Bunny thing and getting to find eggs. He ran screaming into the bedroom this morning at mom and dad's yelling "DADDYYYYY!!!!!! I found your egg!!!!!" We had wrote names on them when we colored them last night and he had found the one with daddy on it and just HAD to show Daddy right then and there. LOL.

We also had a wonderfull time at Grandma and Grandpa Hanson's. It was nice to be around everyone again. And to see how all the babies have grown. Brenden(my sister's kid) is 6 months younger than Kiah and 3 lbs heavier!!! And McKenna(My cuz's kid) is looking like she may be able to rivel Brenden in no time. LOL.

Chad has said that he is getting really sore now days from his shots. He was actually whinning to me tonight on the way home. And any of you that know Chad know that, that is NOT like him.

Hope everyone is good,

Jen

Friday, March 29, 2002 at 01:08 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things are going good. Today was Chad's first day to go in and get his blood checked. I got him disconnected yesterday and started his shots.

We had a great time in St. Cloud and everything went great. The kids were going to turn into fish had they stayed in the pools any longer.

Tonight we are going over to Ann and Alan's. They are throwing a B-day party for Tate and a late one for Kiah.

Tomarrow Chad and I work and then will head down to Mills to spend the night. We are getting together with the Hanson side on Sun. and then will drive home that evening.

If I don't get this updated before I hope everyone has a wonderful easter!!!

Jen

Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 06:13 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things were a little crazy today. Tate and Kiah had their yearly checkups. Tate is a whole 39 lbs. And Kiah is a whopping 18.9. I sure hope she takes after the Martinson side and stays petite. My worst fear is that she will be 4 foot 6 and heavy like the Hanson side.

Kiah had to have blood taken. The whole time they are trying to hit one of her itty bitty veins Tate is in the backround yelling "Don't hurt my sister!!!"

I get to disconnect Chad from his Chemo pump tomarrow. And then we start the fun growth hormone shots. These ones that I will be giving him are more than twice as strong. He complained before about his bones acking. I told him this time by the 3rd day he will be just a big pile of doggy doo. LOL. We'll see, maybe it won't hit him that hard. He then also starts going to the clinic every mon, wed, fri for blood checks. And then when we get the call from Mayo we are off.

Tomarrow we will be in St. Cloud. Will be home Fri. afternoon. Getting a hotel down there with a kiddie pool for the kids to play and enjoy themselves.

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 07:39 AM (CST)
Hello,

Sorry haven't had the chance to update lately. Life has been nuts around here. Chad is going to work even with his chemo going on. He gets bouts every once in a while that make him think he's going to get sick, but never does. But he's making sure to stay up on his pills that are sposse to stop that!!!

The kids are doing fine. Tate is getting very excited about easter. And his B-day. He thinks it's cool that the easter bunny will come one day and the next is his b-day.

I found out yesterday that a few people are worried that the things we have been buying like the laptop and jeep were bought with benefit money. I want to put that to rest right now. We have sold all our "toys" ie... boat, camper, snowmobile and other things to reprioritize what we need. One of those things was a dependable jeep for Chad for treatments. The lap top was bought on my Pampered Chef account. It's the money I have been saving to use for what I will. I desided that it would be nice for Chad to have a way to keep in touch with everyone while down in Mayo and I have wanted one for a yr since I started doing Pampered Chef. I'm sorry if this comes off a little harsh. But I'm sure if it was you in our place you would be a little upset as well. I just don't understand why it is that all of a sudden people have the right to judge every little thing we do. YES, I understand you donated money to us to use for medical expenses. So far we have NOT even needed them. I will promise you though in the next couple months WE WILL! Thank you all for your generosity at our time in need. I am in no way making small of that. It's wonderfull to know that there are people out there that care and are willing to help us out. I just wish that we weren't getting citicized everytime we deside to make a purchase.

Hope everything is going good with everyone. And looking forward to seeing everyone at easter!

Jen

Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 08:11 PM (CST)
Hello,

Things here are good so far. Chad's getting his Chemo and still managed to go to work today. He did say tonight though that he is starting to feel a little more icky.

I painted the livingroom wall today. THe one that faces the road. I painted it a dark rusty red and peach ragged on over it. I really like the way it turned out. It made the room very rich looking and warm feeling. Now I'm trying to deside whether I want to do the rest of the room the same of just leave them white.

I will try and take some pics tomarrow of our bedroom, Kiah's room, and the livingroom so you get a better idea and look at what I have been doing.

Jen

Friday, March 22, 2002 at 09:21 PM (CST)
Hello,

We are home. We got home about 8:30 tonight. Sure was good to see the kids again.

Chad came home hooked up to the pump with chemo and his growth hormone shots for me to give him. The dr.'s are thinking we will be back down there in about 2 weeks for the harvesting. They will know when Chad goes in for a CBC and they fax the info to mayo. THen if it's time Mayo will call us and say get down here now. So I kinda feel like we are pregnant again and just waiting for the day. LOL. Only I'm not the one having to go threw the pain this time!!!

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Thursday, March 21, 2002 at 12:06 PM (CST)
Hi,

We talked to the Dr.'s Nurse this morning. Chad passed all of his tests they put him threw this week. So we are ready for the next step.

Tomarrow we will get him hooked up with his next chemo treatment. This will be the one that he is on for 5 days with a pump. At that point I will also start giving him growth shots. These will be more than twice the strength of the ones I have given him before. They will get his bone marrow going and then about a week after that we will have to be back down here for the harvesting.

Hope everyone is doing good. Don't forget to leave us a note as to what's up with you guys.

Take care

Jen

Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 07:04 PM (CST)
Hello,

Things were a little slower today. All Chad had to do was get an x-ray of his sinus's and get a full body ct scan.

We did some running just to keep us busy. We went to Home Depot, Menards, and the mall. I am getting really good at the back roads and knowing were I am going. Gonna drive like I am from here by the time we leave.

Take care everyone,

Jen

P.S. the web cam is on tonight if you want to check it out. We got a rather cheap one so it's a little blurry, but it works.

Tuesday, March 19, 2002 at 04:46 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Today was a tiring day. This morning Chad had an echo and then we had to talk to a social worker, and a breathing test, then it was of to the vein people to see how chad's vein's were and last but not least he got to go to the dentist to see if his teeth are ok for the stem cell.

It was just a long day of sitting and staring at the wall for me. We are back at the hotel and have the cam on if you want to check it out.

Also don't forget MSN Messenger!!! Our email is marty_jazz@hotmail.com. Look us up!!!

Hope everything is good with everyone,

Jen

Monday, March 18, 2002 at 09:52 AM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

We are in Mayo. Things are going good. They are going to keep us busy the next few days. LOTS of tests!!! Chad will get his bone marrow done this afternoon. And won't get the port till the harvesting.

They are going to keep us here till at least thur afternoon. We'll see when we get home.

We are staying at the Best Western Soldier's Feild. In suite number 51 if you need to get ahold of us. You can also reach us on the cell phone #218-556-0100.

We went out and got a Laptop tonight. We got free internet with it and figure I can use it for my Buisness and Chad will have it for down here to help keep in touch with the rest of the world. We are signed up on MSN Messenger we have 2 accounts the one we will be on most of the time is under the nick marty_jazz@hotmail.com. Look it up and keep in touch!!!

Also we hooked up a web cam to the lap top. The link is at the bottom. Check it out and see if we are in the hotel!!!

Jen

Friday, March 15, 2002 at 08:29 PM (CST)
Hello,

Things are good. We talked to the Dr.'s Nurse today from Mayo. We have to be at Mayo at 7:30 Mon morning. Nothing like getting going bright and early.

The kids have pretty much beaten there colds. Kiah still has a little cough every now and then. They will be staying at Mom and Dad's next week. We will be going down there tomarrow night after work and will spend the night. Then Sun morning Roy and the Great-Grandparents are coming over to Mom and Dad's to celebrate Kiah's B-day. Hard to beleive she will be 1 already. Man how time flies.

I will try to find someplace down there to update this while we are in Mayo. Not sure where yet, but will look around.

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 07:21 PM (CST)
Hello,

Things are going good. I did Kiah's room today. It turned out SOOOOOOO cute. I have to admit it's a little more PINK than I thought it would be. BUTTTTT this will probably be the only time I get to decorate it MY way without her saying "I don't like that, I don't want this!" So pink it will stay. LOL. The picture I did on the one wall turned out better than I ever could have imagined.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Tuesday, March 12, 2002 at 09:33 PM (CST)
Hello everyone,

Things are normal here. The kids are slowly getting over there colds. Just a hacky cough left.

I have desided Kiah's room needed a makeover. I stripped the border off today and am going to paint it tomarrow. I am painting a picture on one of the walls. It will jsut have some simple flowers and clouds. And the rest of the room will be pink. I think it's going to be fun. I'm getting into the whole color thing. For a long time every room in the house was white. Now I'm adding color to every room!!! LOL.

Jen

Monday, March 11, 2002 at 08:38 PM (CST)
Hello,

Things here are good. The kids are still trying to get over there colds.

Chad for once DIDN'T have to go in on a Mon for a CBC. They said last week that his counts were good to go. So we are just waiting on Mon. to get down to Mayo.

Chad and I desided to do something crazy the other day. We desided to clean out the PC. WEEELLLlllll needless to say we now only have 16 colors. LOL. We are trying to figure out what we deleted that we shouldn't have. LOL. Things are working good and it's much faster... it's just not very pretty!!! LOL.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 12:08 PM (CST)
Hello,

Things here have been busy. Chad's knees are still acking. But he's feeling better. Tate and Kiah are still fighting with there colds.

Last night Bemidji Chrysler had there 5 start banquet. So we were at the northern inn for dinner and then for the comedy show.

Hope everyone is having a good day,

Jen

Thursday, March 07, 2002 at 10:02 PM (CST)
Hi,

It's official... Kiah and Tate have colds. Hopefully it won't last long.

Chad is still doing ok. He went with his sister to look at a couple more homes today. They have found another one they like. Now it's just once again up to the current owner. We will see.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 08:45 PM (CST)
Hello,

Things here are ok. Chad's counts are so-so. His WBC is ok. But his platlets and HGB are still hanging low. He gets tired very easily.

We also heard from Dr. Anderson again today. He said instead of us coming down on the 14 and 15th and then turning around and being back on the 18th he just recheduled everything for the 18th. That way we don't have to come home for 2 days and then go back down. So now we are guessing we will be there from the 18th till the 22nd. Who knows... maybe it will change tomarrow again. LOL.

Kiah has managed to catch yet another cold. Her nose is running none stop. I'm just waiting for it to turn green for yet another ear infection.

Tate was horse tonight. Hope it's nothing serious.

Take care everyone and give each other hugs from us.

Jen

Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 10:50 AM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

WELCOME HOME GRANDMA AND GRANDPA!!!

We talked to Dr. Anderson today. We have to be at mayo at 8:00 am on the 14th. THey have to change Chad's port because it is to small for the transplant. So we will meet with the surgeon on Fri. Hopefully Mon. they will be able to put it in and Tue Chad will start his next Chemo. This chemo is the one that's 5 days long and is put into his body by a pump he carries with him all the time.

Then the beginning of April they will begin the SCT process. He will go down April 1-5 for harvesting of his Stem cells. And then we go from there.

Sorry I haven't been keeping up lately. I got the bedroom finished and barrowed Ann and Alan's carpet shampooer. SO I have been busy cleaning carpets the past day. I did our bedroom, Kiah's room, the steps and landing on the split level. ANd next I am going to take on the awefull carpet up the steps to the playroom.

Hope everyone is doing good. Keep in touch!

Jen

Sunday, March 03, 2002 at 08:10 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

The kids are back. Chad is still feeling crudy. We got a call from Dr. Anderson in Mayo. We were accepting by insurance for the Stem Cell Transplant. So he wants to see us on the 14th. So sounds like we will be making another trip to Rochester. Sounds like they are trying to get the SCT going before May. We thought maybe it would take that long, but maybe not.

Hope everything is good,

Jen

Saturday, March 02, 2002 at 09:07 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad and I are doing fine. I got my bedroom painted. It's a dark grayish purple and then I lightly dry brushed a metallic gray over it. I like the way it turned out. Just kind of strange to look at colored walls that were once white.

Chad went with his sister today and looked at a few houses in town.

Hope things are good with you all,

Jen

Friday, March 01, 2002 at 05:06 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are ok. Chad is getting the headaches that go along with his low HGB. His WBC was also low at .5. So he's just been laying around the house today.

I met Mom in Park Rapids this afternoon and she took the kids for the weekend. I have big plans... I am going to paint out bedroom this weekend as long as the kids are away. I will have the cam on while I am painting if any of you want to check in and see how it's going.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Wednesday, February 27, 2002 at 04:44 PM (CST)
Hello,

Things here are good. C.J. got groomed. It was needed. She was getting pretty shaggy. Thanks Lisa. She looks great.

Chad went in to work this morning for a few hours. He said he is getting more and more tired though as the days go on. I noticed today he looks pale.

Tate and Kiah are doing great. Kiah's 2 top teeth are STILL giving her heck. They are so close all it would take is a good bite and they would be threw. But they hurt so bad that she is carefull about anything she puts in her mouth right now.

I'm doing fine. My show went good last Sat. We are hopeing to close on it tomarrow.

Hope everything is good with everyone,

Jen

Tuesday, February 26, 2002 at 06:06 PM (CST)
Hello,

Things here are good today. Chad stayed home with us all day. Kiah is finally back to being a happy baby. Tate was actually good. I don't think he even faught with us once today.

Over all it was a good day for us to just hang out and be a family.

Take Care everyone,

Jen

Monday, February 25, 2002 at 08:22 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things are a little better here. Kiah is finally back to herself. Chad was feeling good this afternoon, but things are catching up to him tonight. He's starting to get the dizzy spells when he stands up which means his HGB is dropping. His WBC was still at 6 though. Which is good. HGB was 11. Which is ok, but starting to drop.

Tate and I are doing fine. I have had a little touch of what Kiah had, but am dealing with it just fine.

Hope the bug hasn't gotten any of you.

Jen

Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 06:27 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are ok. Chad still isn't feeling very good. He just laid around the slept all day. Ann and Alan took Tate for the day. So needless to say it was VERY quiet around here. I think Kiah liked the idea of being able to play with her toys without him coming and bugging her.

I took it easy today. Did a little laundry and a little cleaning, but mostly just enjoyed the sanity. It was nice to be able to do WHATEVER I wanted without having to worry about this or that.

Hope everyone had a good day,

Jen

Saturday February 23, 2002 10:00 PM CST
hi everyone,

Need to make this short and sweet they are making changes to caring bridge and it was sposse to start right now.

Chad is doing ok. He's not feeling very good, but not getting sick.

Kiah still isn't feeling very good herself. She is getting quite angry she can't eat and threatened her dad into 2 baby weiners tonight. LOL. We'll see if her tummy still isn't doing good in the morning. I said he's changing her diaper if its messy!!!

Take care,

Jen

Friday February 22, 2002 3:48 PM CST
Hello,

Chad just got home. He is doing good so far.

Kiah is sick. She threw up her formula this morning. I called the clinic and they said to put her on pedialite for a day. She's been pretty upset with Tate and I being able to eat and all I can do is hand her her sippy.

I have been cleaning and disinfecting. Don't want whatever Kiah has to get to Chad.

I have a show tomarrow night. I'm looking forward to it. It's for a gal who was one of my first 6 last year. She wanted to do another show to keep up her yearly discount. If anyone needs anything just let me know I can either add it to her show or send you a packet to do a kitchen or catalog show of your own.

Take care everyone,

Jen

P.S. the cam is on if anyone wants to check it out. ANDDDD a few msgs wouldn't hurt either :)

Thursday February 21, 2002 7:05 PM CST
Hello,

I talked to Chad a little bit ago and he said he will be home tomarrow. He has done very well and not gotten sick at all.

Tate and I though are missing him. I will be thankfull to have him back home tomarrow. It's hard being away from him not knowing what's going on or how's he's feeling from one min to another.

Kiah has been a little fussy today. Hopefully shes's not coming down with something. She's had runny pants for the past few days. I am going to put her on an ABC diet this weekend and see if we can get whatever is upsetting her tummy to settle down.

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

P.S. Lisa I hope everything is OK with your family. Don't worry about C.J. she can stay shaggy for a few more days.

Wednesday February 20, 2002 7:42 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

From the moment we woke up this morning it was a busy day. Tate went running threw the house looking for Daddy. When he couldn't find him he came to me asking where he was. I told him in the hospital getting med. for his tummy. He looked at me with those big puppy dog eyes and says "Can we go see him Mommy?"

So needless to say we made a trip to Fargo today. It didn't go bad and the nurses were more than happy to see us. They couldn't beleive how Kiah had gown in the past few months and that she was walking.

We stayed till about 2 and then headed home. Then when we got back to town I realized Wal-Mart had opened today and just HAD to go check it out. So by the time we got back to the house it was 5:30. Just enough time to eat, chill out for a few min., and get ready for bed. At the moment Tate is watching a movie and Kiah is sleeping. Now I need to start on all the house cleaning I was SPOSSE to of done today instead of going to Fargo. Oh well... The kids are only young once and the house can wait. Not like it won't be a mess agian in a day anyways.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Tuesday February 19, 2002 7:57 PM CST
Hi everyone,

I talked with Chad a bit ago. He said he was doing good and didn't get sick this time. Not yet anyways.

The kids and I made a run to town today and then I spent the rest of the day getting my Pampered Chef stuff in order. I think I could actually find something now if someone asked. LOL. Good thing, just in time for my show this Sat.

Have a great evening.

Jen

Tuesday February 19, 2002 10:37 AM CST
Hello,

The kids and I are home today. We may make a run to town for a short bit, but the cam is on if you want to check out what's going on at our house.

Chad is in room 744 in Fargo. He was just leaving to have his ECHO done when I talked to him. You can reach him by dialing 1 701-234-5744. That will dial his room.

Hope everyone has a good day. Keep smiling and if it at least doesn't cheer someone up, it will make em wonder what your up to :)

Jen

Monday February 18, 2002 8:30 PM CST
Hello,

Things here are good. Chad just left for Fargo. He has to be there at 9 tomarrow so figured he would go down tonight.

Kiah has her 2 top teeth giving her a heck of a time. They just won't pop threw. She had the redest cheeks I have every seen last night. She's also had a little fever off and on and her bottom gets sore every so often as well. Hopefully they will come in soon.

Tate is doing fine. We are having problems getting him to sit down and color or write. He just hates to settle down to do it. It's not that he can't. He just don't like to.

Carol... Sorry to hear about the fire. Glad to hear everyone is ok though. The material things can always be replaced... people can't.

Give someone a hug and make them smile :)

Jen

Sunday February 17, 2002 9:24 PM CST
Hi Everyone,

Things here are normal. I worked today and Chad stayed home with the kids. I took him out for supper tonight. We figured it may be the last chance he gets before he ends up back in the hospital on Tue. for the next treatment.

Haven't heard from you guys in awhile. The last guestbook entry I have was on Fri!!! In case you didn't see yesterday there are new pics up. Take a look.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Saturday February 16, 2002 9:04 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

Things here are good. Mom and Dad came up today to see the kids. They watched them for the day while Chad and I were at work. Dad took Tate sledding and to the new Peter Pan movie.

I took some pics today and updated the pics on here so check it out. I can't believe Kiah will be 11 months tomarrow. It has gone SOOOO fast.

Hope everyone is safe and having a good day,

Jen

Friday February 15, 2002 9:40 AM CST
Hello Everyone,

Just to let you know the kids and I are home today just hanging around. Mom and Dad are comming up tomarrow to watch the kids while Chad and I are at work. So I"m just cleaning house.

I will have the cam on all day for those of you who want to check it out.

Chad's counts were better yesterday. His wbc was up to 11 but his hgb is still hanging low at 10.

Jen

Thursday February 14, 2002 10:02 PM CST
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Things here are fine. Chad has had no problems with his new growth meds. He worked all day today.

Chad sent me a 1/2 dz. roses today at work. It was such a suprise. I wasn't expecting anything. They are gorgeous. There red with a bright yellow filler of some kind. I was trying to remember the last time he gave me roses and I can't.

Hope everyone has a great day and give a hug and kiss to someone special!!!

Jen

Wednesday February 13, 2002 8:01 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

Chad had an allergic reaction to the growth hormone shots I was giving him. He broke out last night in hives. He was miserable for about 3 hrs. I went and got him some benadryl and that seemed to help. Called the Dr. this morning and they took him off that one and put him on a different one. He did fine on that today. They are making him go into the clinic though for the rest of his shots so they can keep a closer eye on him.

Other than that things here are normal. Chad has been trying to work. He's been doing half days. He still gets really tired and wore out. That's fine with me though his wbc is still below 1. So he actually isn't sposse to even be out of the house.

Hope everyone is doing good,

Jen

Tuesday February 12, 2002 8:10 PM CST
Hi Everyone,

Sorry this hasn't been updated since Sun. Life just got crazy for a couple days.

Chad's arm that we do his shots in has swollen up. We talked to Dr. K's nurse and he said to try it in his tummy today and see what happens.

Kiah is walking ALL over. Tate got himself a black eye on Sun afternoon. I made a trip to St. Cloud. Just been nuts around here.

Hopefully it will settle down again now. Chad has been going to work the past few days. Not full days, but he's trying.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Sunday February 10, 2002 9:41 AM CST
Hello,

Things here are good. We didn't go to church today. Chad's counts are to low and we just didn't want to risk him getting sick. They want him back in Fargo next Mon the 18th. So we arn't taking any chances.

We are going to go meet Chad's sister and brother-in-law in Shevlin today though. They are looking at a house. It's only 9 miles from our house. It would be nice to have some family nearby. We have to meet them at 1 at the house.

Hope you didn't get to snowed in down there near Fergus and Fargo.I saw the warnings yesterday. All we got was some wind. Although the winds up here are NEVER as bad as they are down there.

Take Care everyone,

Jen

P.S. The cam will be on for any of you wanting to check it out.

Saturday February 9, 2002 9:44 AM CST
Good Morning,

Things here are the same. Chad's still having some acky and icky feelings. In fact he ran to work this morning because he knows by noon he will be nothing but a blob on the couch. His WC is down. It was .5 on thur. So he has to be REALLy carefull not to catch a bug.

We are just going to be hanging out around the house today. The cam will be on so don't hesitate to check it out. Maybe you will be able to catch a few of Kiah's first steps! Also don't be afraid to leave me msg's in the guestbook. I get lots of people that tell me daily that they check it, but don't sign it!!! I promise I won't bite if you do! :)

Take care today and hope the storm doesn't dump to much snow on ya. :)

Jen

Friday February 8, 2002 5:34 PM CST
Hello,

Things here are good. Chad is still not feeling geat and says he thinks his HGB must be dropping cause he's getting more and more tired.

I took the kids into town and took Tate to Mc'D's playground to blow some energy.

We are going to watch the opening ceremony's tonight on TV. Will have the cam on if any one want's to check in on us. We also have MSN messenger with the nickname Chad & Jen. If you want to lookus up that way.

Take Care everyone,

Jen

Thursday February 7, 2002 9:45 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

Things here are ok. Chad is getting more and more acky. He said his knees are killing him tonight.

I went to work at 12. I took the kids to daycare and then Chad went and picked them up about 6. That way he only had to deal with them for 3 hrs on his own.

Emma at daycare said Kiah was walking for her today. Won't be long and she will be walking more than crawling. Also I forgot to let you guys know... yesterday I put her on the potty (dreaming) and she actually went!!! I couldn't beleive it. Chad told me I was crazy for trying to get an 11 month old to go in the potty. LOL.

Take Care everyone,

Jen

Wednesday February 6, 2002 6:11 PM CST
Hello,

Things here are good. Chad is starting to get the aches that come with his shots. He's been having problems sleeping because of it.

Tate's hand is all better. He's using it normally and doesn't complain about it at all anymore.

Kiah is continuing to take a few steps here and a few there, but nothing major.

I'm doing fine. I called today and talked to the place that's doing my eye surgery. I found out that I am NOT getting the surgery on tue. They said it's just the pre-op stuff. Then you come back at a later date for the actual surgery. BUMMER!!! I was really looking forward to getting rid of these glasses on Tue. I even asked her if there was any way to do the surgery on Tue. and she said they only do surgery's on Thur.'s. Oh well. It will come soon enough.

Tuesday February 5, 2002 7:43 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

It was a "normal" day here. Chad is still having bouts of nausea. It comes and goes. He took a few naps today.

Tate is using his hand. The middle finger is still a little swollen. But he isn't complaining about it anymore, unless Chad or I grab that hand. Then he reminds us!!!

Kiah is doing great. The stinker is SLOWLY taking her first steps. She's still to chicken to just take off. She could do it if she wanted.

Hope everyone is going good.

Jen

P.S. Don't forget to leave me msg's guys!!! I"m starting to see the same one again day after day. Hint, Hint!!!

Monday February 4, 2002 9:53 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

We had an eventfull evening. I picked the kids up from daycare. As I was getting the kids out of the car Tate stuck his hand out and I shut the van door on his hand. We watched it for about 2 hrs and desided that the swelling just wasn't going down so off to the ER we went. We just got home. Tate gave them a heck of a time trying to get the xray. He was refusing to straighten his hand out cause it hurt. So the Dr. and I finally had to hold his hand down for it. It came out not broken. Thank goodness. I already feel bad enough. I can't imagine it if it had been broken besides. He thought it was pretty cool though to get to see the bones in his hand. He also got a sucker and stickers out of the deal. What more could a kid want. He's still not using it. Hopefully by morning he will be.

Chad is starting to get the tiredness that comes with the chemo. As he says "the yawns". He says he can tell the difference between normal yawns and the ones that are chemo induced. He isn't feeling to good either. He's just had the beginning stages of nausea. He doesn't get sick, but feels like he could.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Sunday February 3, 2002 9:12 PM CST
Hello,

Chad stayed home with the kids today. He managed pretty good. Towards the end of the day it was getting a little rough, but Ann and Alan came to his rescue. They came over to watch the Super Bowl with us and helped out with the kids till I got home from work.

Things are good otherwise. We are all healthy again. Chad's mouth is starting to get sore. And like he said "I just don't feel right." He said it's hard to explain exactly what isn't right. But he just isn't feeling up to par.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Saturday February 2, 2002 6:03 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

Chad is home. He isn't feeling all that great. He said it's hitting him much faster than the other ones have. His mouth is already getting sore and I had to get the sitter to come over and watch the kids so that he could sleep. He just didn't feel he would have the energy to keep up with them all day.

I am taking Tate to the college hockey game tonight. He needs to get out of the house. He's gonna drive us nuts otherwise. Chad is going to stay home with Kiah. He didn't feel up to going.

Hope everything is good with everyone,

Jen

Friday February 1, 2002 10:26 AM CST
Hello,

Chad is on his way home. He thinks he is going to go to work tomarrow. We'll see how he is feeling by that time. I have to give him shots again. They are hopeing that his counts will be high enough by the 18th to have him back again for another treatment.

The kids and I are just going to hang out here at the house today and wait for him to come home. We will have the web cam on so your more than welcome to check it out. I have been hearing that the cordless cam is a little blurry. I am going to check into that with the tech guys and see if there is any way to fix it.

Take care everyone and have a great Fri.!!!

Jen

Thursday January 31, 2002 8:14 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

Chad didn't get out today. They wanted to keep him another day to hydrate him. He did get sick again when they gave him this 3rd round of chemo. But when I talked to him he said he was doing fine.

The kids went to daycare today and I went to work and worked the day shift. It was a normal day around here. Kiah can now stand up on her own from sitting in the middle of the room with no help. She is still to chicken to just take off and walk totally on her own.

Take care,

Jen

Wednesday January 30, 2002 6:18 PM CST
Hello,

I talked to Chad this morning and he said he was doing good. I talked to him tonight now and he once again got sick when they gave him the second dose of Chemo. He said it was even worse then yesterday, but gone just as fast. Other than that he is feeling fine and just bored. Although I think he's getting plenty of time on his Play Station.

The kids and I stayed home today. I got alot of cleaning and disinfecting done. Never seems to fail though I can clean one room and the kids are right behind me taking the toys out again. It's a never ending process.

Kiah is saying uhoh. And she is working on hi. She gets it out sometimes. Most of the time though it's still just a uh. Tate was in a mood today. I kicked him outside to play this afternoon. He stayed out there about 1/2 hr. It was just enough to get some energy out of him. He was driving me nuts this morning, but has been better this afternoon. He had to sleep with me last night and keeps telling me when Daddy gets home tonight. I keep telling him Daddy isn't coming home tonight and he just looks at me and says ok. I think he's trying to figure out in that little brain of his how he can get away with sleeping with Mom again tonight.

And to whomever my secret angels are coming from... Thank you. Now don't all of you go and start not signing your posts or you will drive me crazy trying to figure who they are from. LOL. I thought for sure it was a family member not quite sure what they were doing. LOL.

Take Care everyone,

Jen

P.S. Don't forget to leave me msg's guys it's been great hearing from you all the past few days. Much better than the days I see the same post for 2-3 days!!! Don't forget about the cam as well!

Tuesday January 29, 2002 7:56 PM CST
Hello,

Chad made it to Fargo just fine this morning. He got his Chemo this evening and did throw up once. He said it was about 5 min of feeling icky and then it was all over and he's been feeling fine since.

The kids and I are doing great. I took them to daycare for a short while today while I went to an appt. I will be home with them all day tomarrow and then Thur. I am going to work the day shift so I don't have to worry about someone watching them into the evening. Hopefully Chad will be home Thur. night. We will see when he ends up getting his last chemo treatment and is able to leave if he comes home Thur. night or Fri.

Hope everything is good with everyone. It's great to hear from you guys. I am curious though as to who is leaving me the posts and not signing them???

Jen

Monday January 28, 2002 7:57 PM CST
Hello,

Chad is going to head down to Fargo in the morning. He had planned on going tonight, but heard there is a storm dumping 3-5 inches over there and it is sposse to end sometime tonight. He will probably be there till Thur., maybe Fri. I am staying home with the kids. This is the same process they have done the last 3 times and we don't expect any problems.

The kids and I are slowly getting better. I'm the furthest behind being I just got on meds today. Hopefully by the time Chad gets back we will all be healthy and I can get the house cleaned and free of "bugs".

Take Care everyone and don't forget to leave us a msg in the message board. We like to hear from you guys just as much as you like to hear about us. Also if you get the chance check out the web cam. I have had it on alot lately and actually noticed people using it!!!! YAAAAAAA!!!

Jen

Monday January 28, 2002 9:24 AM CST
Hello,

I am home with strep. He also said I had goop behind my ears meaning the beginning of an ear infection. So I am also on meds now.

THe web cam is one so you can check me out this afternoon. Napping or watching tv. LOL.

Jen

Sunday January 27, 2002 7:43 PM CST
Hello,

The kids are doing fine. I think I may have strep. I am going to go in in the morning and find out. I looked down my throut today and have white spots. I have been trying to stay away from Chad so that he doesn't get it.

It was just a lazy day at home today. We didn't do much. Did a little cleaning.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Saturday January 26, 2002 8:29 PM CST
Hello,

Things here are ok. Tate and Kiah are feeling better. I am still weak, short of breath, and just wore out. Hopefully it will get better soon.

Kiah learned to climb stairs last night. I couldn't keep her off them today. Had to get out all 3 baby gates. She also took a few steps all on her own today. She still gets nervous about falling and sits down on her butt. But I know it won't be long and she will be all over. I also learned she has a bit of a temper. Tate was up stairs in the play room and she was madder than a wet hen because she couldn't go up the stairs and follow him. She stood at the bottom of the steps pointing up and screaming at the top of her lungs.

Have a good day everyone,

Jen

Friday January 25, 2002 6:48 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

Well we have managed to get everyone sick BUT Chad. I have larengits and sore throut. Tate woke up at 4 this morning complaining that his ear hurt. So off to the Dr we went this morning. Yep... he's got ear infection. So that makes Tate and Kiah with that.

The 3 of us have just been blobs today. We haven't done much at all. Chad had a good day at work and brought home supper cause he knew I was in no mood to be cooking.

I have had the web cam on and will continue. It usually goes off at 9:30 at night when Tate goes to bed and comes back on between 9-10 when we are all decent and presentable. So please check it out.

We found out today Chad has to be in Fargo at 9 on Tue to have an Echo done on his heart before his Chemo. They have to do one every so often to see if it's affecting it at all.

Take care,

Jen

Thursday January 24, 2002 11:06 PM CST
Hello Everyone,

Things here are good. I seemed to ahve come down with the cold. I sound awefull. I went to work sounding fine and came home and Chad telling me not to talk. LOL.

Tate is going threw a little hard time right now. I think he misses his mommy and daddy. He went to bed with me last night and now tonight he is going to sleep on the floor in our room.

Take care and remember to leave me a msg!!! over 30 hits a day you would think more than 1 person could talk to us!!! LOL.

Jen

Wednesday January 23, 2002 6:22 PM CST
We are home!

What a long 700 miles!!! Hopefully we won't have to make that to often. We had no problem getting around down there. There are signs everywhere. We found out when Chad is admitted for his Stem Cell it will be at the Methodist Hospital.

For right now though they are going to repeat the VAC treatment 2 more times and then another 2 chemos for 2 cycles. Then we will be headed back to Mayo. Dr. Anderson is a GREAT Dr. He explained things to us and helped us to understand the whole stem cell process. He won't be able to be our Dr. when we are at the Mayo though because he is a peds. Dr. So he will be giving the orders and another Dr. will be doing it.

Chad has to be in Fargo on Tue. for the next round of VAC.

Kiah once again has ear infection. They put her on Zithromax and Sulfatrim this time. My parents had to take her in while she was at ther house.

Tate is ok. I think he may be coming down with Kiah's cold. I noticed his nose running on the way home from Mom and Dad's. Mine is too. I hope we both don't come down with it.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Tuesday January 22, 2002 11:26 AM CST
hello everyone,

THings are great. Just talked to Dr. Anderson and we are going to follow up with 2 more rounds of VAC in Fargo and maybe one more chemo after taht in fargo as wel. THen we will be back here for the harvesting and stem cell transplant. The transplant will be around march if all goes as planned.

Chad has some tests and things to do today. We will stay here tonight and go get the kids tomarrow and head home. See you all soon.

Hope everything is going good with you all.

Jen

Sunday January 20, 2002 8:00 PM CST
Hello,

Things here are fine. I had to work today so Chad watched the kids. Kiah definetly has a cold. She has been pretty fussy tonight. I gave her a bath and put her to bed at 7. I have had the vaperizer on her for the last 2 nights and I did it again tonight. I did notice she wasn't as croupy today so hopefully it is helping.

Tate was trying to be the "big brother" tonight with Kiah. He was hidding under the table and grabbed her and was trying to pull her under with him. She was stuck on the table leg and he just kept pulling. The poor girl has a nice briuse on her arm and chin. I'm sure it's just the first of many bruises to come.

We will be headed to Mayo tomarrow. Chad and I are going to work a 1/2 day and then head to Mom and Dad's to drop off the kids. We will stick around for supper there and then head to Mayo. That way we only have to get up and head to his appt the next morning. I will try and find someplace down there to update this. If not I will tell someone how to and they can update it for us.

Take Care everyone,

Jen

Saturday January 19, 2002 7:41 PM CST
Hello,

Things were good today. The sitter was here and watched the kids while Chad and I went to work. The sitter doesn't like the cam on so I turn it off while she is here.

Things went fine for me at work. It was a busy day. Chad's also went fine.

Kiah has come down with a cold. She sounds horse and croupy. Hopefully it will clear up before the kids have to go down to Mom and Dad's on Mon. night. We are just trying really hard right now not to turn it into yet another ear infection.

Tate has been up to some usuall antics. He got mad at me earlier tonight and desided to go up into Kiah's room and start throwing things over the edge down to the livingroom. Needless to say he got to find out how sitting on the chair in timeout felt. It's amazing how they already have "selective hearing". I asked Chad if he taught it to him. LOL.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Friday January 18, 2002 7:18 PM CST
Hello,

It was a lazy day around here today. The kids and I just sat around played and watched tv. Chad went to work.

Kiah once again has a runny nose and slight fever. It's not green yet coming out her nose so I don't think it's ears YET. I think it's her teeth. Now if we can just manage to keep it that and not let it progress to yet another ear infection.

Tate was good today. He even suprised me and helped me out with a few things. Maybe we are starting to get passed the "testing" stage. One can only hope.

Hope everything is good with everyone,

Jen

Thursday January 17, 2002 10:28 PM CST
Hello,

Things went "normal" today. Chad went to work this morning and I at noon. The kids went to daycare.

Everything is fine. I am out of my slump I think. Tate has been in a real testing stage. But even that has gotten a bit better in the last few days.

Take care everyone and don't forget the guestbook and web cam.

Jen

Wednesday January 16, 2002 4:02 PM CST
Hello,

Met with Kobrinsky today. We have to be in Mayo at 10 Tue. for the initial evaluation stuff.

Things here are good. The kids are great and Chad went back to work today.

We are basically in the hands of Mayo now. It's kinda weird knowing we won't be dealing with Kobrinsky. We have gotten so used to him and his team. They are a wonderfull group of people. More than likely though after the stem cell we will be back in Kobrinsky's hands.

Take care everyone and don't forget about the guestbook and the web cam :)

Jen

Tue. Jan 15th
Hello Everyone,

Chad is doing ok. He is feeling better and better each day. He thinks he pulled a muscle or stitch in his upper abd. It has been giving him a little pain.

Kiah went to the docs today and she DOESN'T have ear infection!!!! YIPEEEEE... We will see how long it lasts.

Other than that things are fine here. Nothing major going on. We will see Dr.K tomarrow. Hopefully we will have a better idea on when the stem cell is and when we have to report to Mayo.

Hope everything is good with everyone. Remember the web cam. And also remember to leave me some msgs :)

Jen

Mon. Jan.14th
Hello Everyone,

Things here are good tonight. Chad didn't go to work today. He is thinking he will wait till Wed when we meet with the Dr. He had to go in this morning and have lab done. We also think we got the insurance mess straightened out. If meritcare was any slower about processing there statements and money from insurance it sure would help.

The kids went to daycare today. They both had good days. I think Tate actually was looking forward to getting back. They hadn't been there in over 2 weeks. Kiah goes into the Dr. tomarrow to check and see if she still has her ear infection.

Have a good evening everyone,

Jen

P.S. please check the web cam. I am trying to keep it on. Let me know if you have any problems with it. If you have Paul Bunyannet you won't be able to see the cam. We have already talked to them about it. But being we have a DSL connection there is nothing they can do to fix it.

Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 08:20 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Chad is feeling better tonight.

We had a wonderfull suprise today. Friends of ours Chad & Wanda just popped in today. We had a great visit with them. Was great to see you guys again. Please feel free to pop in anytime.

Ann and Alan came over tonight for a bit. We watched Star Wars and got to clean up a water mess. Somehow during the time they were here the tiolet got plugged in the main bathroom. We are now debating on whether to make a claim on it. We will see how bad the floor warps. At least it will look like the rest of the flooring again. LOL.

Take care,

Jen

Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 12:45 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

We went to church this morning and stayed for a pancake feed afterwards.

Chad isn't feeling very good today. He said his tummy just doesn't feel good. Right now he's curled up in his lazy boy with a blanket over him.

Ann, Alan, and the kids are coming over later on to watch movies.

Take care

Jen

P.S. I'm tring to keep the web cam on. So check it out.

Saturday, January 12, 2002 at 01:28 PM (CST)
WOW almost 5000 hits on his site since August 1st!!! That's app. 165 days and that means that there is an average of 30 hits EACH DAY!!! I'm glad to know we are so loved!!! LOL.

Just to let you all know I moved the web cam today. It's on the other end of the room. Maybe it will be a little clearer and give you guys a different view for a little while. Chad has a love hate relationship with the web cam. He likes to have it on, but when he goes to use the pc it slows it down just enough to drive him crazy so he usually shuts it off. So I'm sorry that it's not on as much as we and you guys would like. We are trying. I told him we just need a second pc!!! LOL.

Jen

Jen

Friday, January 11, 2002 at 06:41 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are going good. Chad went into our reg Dr. today to make sure he's healing like he's sposse to be. They put some new tape on the 2 spots that are oozing. But they agreed that it's not infected. Just going to take longer to heal.

We got the van back today. It had to go into the body shop on wed. We finally got the fender and light repaired from the hit and run we had at the Fargo benefit. It was nothing major just needed to get done.

Chad was feeling a little rougher today than he has. I personally think he is pushing it to much. He is still insisting on going back to work on Mon. We will see what comes of that.

Tate has been looking for some attention today. Whether good or bad I don't think he cares. LOL. He and I made cookies today, that helped some.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Thursday, January 10, 2002 at 09:47 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things here went ok today. I went to work at 12 and Chad took care of the kids. No one was tied up or screaming when I came home so I'm gonna take it as though they made it threw ok.

I don't know exactly what's wrong with me. I think all the stress is catching up to me again. I'm just overly tired and can't seem to get any energy. I managed to stay upbeat for my customers tonight, but other than that was just a blob. You can ask any of the girls... they will agree. LOL. I don't know what it is, but I hope I snap out of it soon. I went threw the same thing a couple months ago. I guess only time will tell.

The kids are doing fine. Every day Tate seems to say something to make us laugh. I guess at his age that's what they do. Kiah is tring to get the nerves up to walk. She stands longer and longer each day, but just can't seem to get those feet moving.

Take Care Everyone,

Jen

Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 05:55 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are going good. Chad actually went into work for a little bit today. Just to get his monthly birthday cards done. He is feeling good enough he is going to watch the kids tomarrow night while I'm at work. I told him I would take them to daycare, but he said "No, I think I can do it."

Those 2 spots are still oozing, but not red. I am keeping a very close eye on them. The rest of his tummy is healing VERY well. Chad was actually able to lay on his side last night to sleep for a short bit. He's been waiting for that day. Sleeping on your back night after night isn't all fun.

The kids are doing great. It's taking Tate a little bit of reminding that Daddy has an oowie on his tummy. Usually every morning. He wants to see it and then he kisses it better. Every once in a while he still gets rough during the day with Chad, but he's much better than he is when Daddy is healthy.

Take Care,

Jen

Tuesday, January 08, 2002 at 06:06 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad is healing very well. He's already saing that if he keeps healing this well maybe he will go back to work next week.

The kids are doing well. Mom took Kiah in to the doc's lasst fri to have her ears checked and once again had an ear infection. I think she's going to be on meds the rest of her life. Tate was telling me today about Grandpa taking him fishing and that Grandpa had tied a rope around him so he wouldn't fall in the hole. But that the rope was to tight. LOL. And that Grandpa had said the water was to cold to go swimming. LOL.

Chad has 2 spots on his belly that are oozing. But it's not red around it at all. I think it's just from them taking the staples out. The one spot I know had pulled apart a little bit when she took them out. And that's one of the spots oozing. Dr. K. will check it next week in the 16th. Hopefully we will also find out about the stem cell then to. We figure it's going to be about a month from beginning to end that he will have to be down in Mayo.

Jen

Monday, January 07, 2002 at 01:15 PM (CST)
Hello everyone,

I am going to try and keep the web cam on more now that Chad is home. You guys can watch him veg in the lazy boy.

Today is going good. Chad had to sleep part of last night in the chair to get comfy. And when he was in the bed he had about 4 pillows around and tucked under him. But considering what he just went threw he is doing good.

Jen

Sunday, January 06, 2002 at 06:34 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

We got home about 4 today. Chad is doing ok. He is able to do the stairs jsut fine. He did say though not to ask him to tear aluminum foil again. LOL. The things that will make you use those tummy muscles. It's amazing some of the little things that will make him say ouch.

I will be meeting Mom in Park Rapids tomarrow to get the kids. It will be nice to have them home again. Keep in mind that I said that in a week when I'm wanting to pawn them off again. LOL.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Saturday, January 05, 2002 at 07:57 PM (CST)
Everything is going great. Chad is going home tomarrow. They unhooked him from everything this morning. They just wanted to keep him around today because we live so far away if anything went wrong.

He will get his 53 staples out before we leave. We told Tate today that daddy has a railroad track on his tummy.

It was great to see the kids. I swear Kiah grew up in the last week. Her face even changed. Mom will be bringing them back to the house on Mon. So it will give us a day to get used to being home.

Take Care

Jen

Friday, January 04, 2002 at 05:38 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad is getting better and better all the time. He only needs is O@ if he is sleeping. He has such shallow breathing that he doesn't get enough O2. They also took him off the Morphine today. And he also got his first real meal.

The doc said that there is a small chance of going home tomarrow, but a better chance of Sun.

Mom and Dad are bringing the kids up tomarrow. We are looking forward to seeing them. It's amazing how much you can miss them little monsters when there not around.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Friday, January 04, 2002 at 11:38 AM (CST)
Chad is doing MUCH better today. He was up and had a shower. They unhooked him from his O2 and is doing great. His HGB was up to 9.4 this morning. And the nurse was saing theres a good chance of him getting some "real" food today.

He's been walking alot more today and just alot more active in general.

I want to thank everyone for all the cards, flowers, and plants. There great to get and know people are thinking of us.

Take care and will update later,

Jen

Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 05:25 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad is doing MUCH better than he was at 12 today. They put him on a clear liquid diet and so was able to eat something tonight. Granted it was only jello and broth.

His fever has once again dropped. It's a up and down thing. They say as long as it's up and down it's ok. It's when it goes up and stays up that they worry.

Hope everything is good with everyone else and please don't hesitate to leave us a msg. Chad likes hearing the msg's from the guestbook.

Jen

Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 02:21 PM (CST)
Chad just got back from his CT scan. There was very little bleeding so no surgery. They will watch him and just see how he is feeling.

Will let you know more later

Jen

Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 01:47 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad is having a few problems. He has spiked a fever of 103.4. His HGB also dropped to 7.6 so they gave him a unit of blood. Ans he is haveing a CT scan done at the moment to see if there is any internal bleeding.

Will let you know more as soon as I do

Jen

Wednesday, January 02, 2002 at 04:45 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad got his drainage tube out. We also got the results of the pathology report. before we were doing chemo 75% of the tumor was active. Now after sugery and chemo treatments 25% of the tumor was active. Also we got all the tumor out, but there ARE mircoactive areas still in Chad. So we will be looking at stem cell transplant sometime in the near future at Mayo.

But we are doing good and hope everyone else is as well.

Jen

Wednesday, January 02, 2002 at 01:53 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad is doing good. They took him off the full time morphine today and put him on a push button as needed. So he gets it if he wants it. They also removed the catheter this morning. They are saing maybe in an hr or 2 they will remove the drainage tube. They also took out his IV and hooked it up to the port. So he now has his hands free. He is looking good and much more awake today. The fevers he is getting off and on they arn't worried about. They say it's just from the surgery and as long as they don't stay up it's not a problem.

Take care

Jen

Tuesday, January 01, 2002 at 09:36 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad has been running a faver off and on since this morning. Tonight about 9 we tried to go for a walk and only made it a few feet from his door and started shivering so bad we had to head back. They are watching him VERY close. They think he has some "crud" in his lungs that is causing it. Hopefully it will get better soon. The nurses have strict orders to call me at Scandia if it spikes back up tonight at all.

But over all he is feeling better. He is gaining his strength and seems to be getting better. He will be very happy though when they get that drainage tube out of his stumach. Not to mention another tube out of the unmentionable place. LOL. Those are the 2 bothering him the most. He can deal with the IV and they also accessed his port today for blood draws.

Thanks again to everyone for your prayers. Keep them up. Chad has a LONG road for recovery.

We did find out today they took 25% of his pancreas which shouldn't bother him at all. And out of the stumach the doc said it was just a "sliver". We should have the pathology report back around fri or mon and we will hear whether they got it all or not.

Take care,

Jen

Tuesday, January 01, 2002 at 08:34 AM (CST)
HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone,

Chad is feeling a little more "perky" this morning. He did fess up though and tell me that he didn't think it would be this rough. I think it took him by suprise. THey had him up and walked last night. He didn't make it far. He went about 5 feet out of his room and had to turn around. But at least he was up.

He asked me to thank everyone who has been sending there well wishes. Without you all we know this wouldn't be as easy. I also need to send a HUGE thank you to my Mom and Dad. They have the kids all week.

Will update again soon,

Jen

Monday, December 31, 2001 at 04:04 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad is VERY sore. But as he has been saing. "My nose itches, and my mouth is dry, but when have I ever been one to complain."

His color is already coming back. But every time he tries to move he uses a tummy muscle that screams at him. He is in room 633 for right now. They are giong to try and get him a private room though. I am in room 107 over at Scandia.

They were saing if they don't get much drainage tonight from his stumach that maybe they will be able to take out the tube tomarrow. He says it is bothering him a little because it goes down his throut and tickles it almost making him cough. Which he doesn't want to do because it hurts to much.

Will post again soon.

Jen

UPDATE!!! They moved Chad to room 634. He is now in a private room.

Monday, December 31, 2001 at 10:50 AM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Chad is out of surgery. He is diong well. They had to remove part of his pancreas and Stumach. They have a feeding tube in place and will probably be there for a couple days. I have yet to see him. He is in recovery right now.

The tumors we found out was tumor!!! One HUGE tumor. It had wrapped itself around the organs. But the rest of his body is clean and they were able to remove everything. They sent the tumor to be analized.

Will update more after I talk to chad and see him, but so far so good!!!

Jen

Sunday, December 30, 2001 at 02:24 PM (CST)
Hello,

Mom was here and picked up the kids. Chad and I will be headed to Fargo about 4.

We have to be at the Hospital at 5:30 tomarrow morning. We are guessing surgery must be about 8. I will keep this updated. So check here first to see if there is anything new.

Take Care everyone,

Jen

Saturday, December 29, 2001 at 11:57 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad went to work today. He's feeling good.

Ann called me at 10 and told me she was coming by at 11 to pick me and the kids up for lunch. We went to Mc'D's. THe kids got to play and we got to talk. She then took the kids back to her house and let me have the afternoon to myself. I got the whole house clean. It sure is nice to look at it and know that it's one less thing to worry about. THANK YOU ANN!!!

Then tonight Chad wanted to go out. So we went out to supper with friends of ours. And then we went to see Lord Of The Rings. It's a pretty good movie. Not one I would go to though unless my husband was begging to go see it. LOL.

Again just to remind everyone, Stick close to this web site. I will post anything new I hear as soon as I hear it on Mon. It's so much easier to update this than to make 10 phone calls.

Take Care,

Jen

Friday, December 28, 2001 at 05:48 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad is feeling better today. I think it was just a 24hr bug. He went to work today.

We found out today that we have to be in at the hospital in Fargo at 5:30 am on Mon. Gonna be a long day. For those of you wondering, I will be there all week. Your more than welcome to stop up anytime and see us. I will post what room we are in after we get there. I also will be updateing everything on here as soon as I here it. So this will actually be your best resource as to knowing what is going on. I will not be making alot of phone calls. Except to the people that don't have internet. So PLEASEEEEE keep track of this site.

Tate went with Heather tonight to Tyler's swim meet. They are going to turn him into a swimmer yet. That's ok. I'd rather Swimming than Hockey. LOL.

Take Care everyone.

Jen

Thursday, December 27, 2001 at 08:41 PM (CST)
Hello,

Things here are ok. Chad was feeling icky tonight. I think he had a slight touch of the flu. Hopefully it will clear up before Mon.

I am slowly getting the house back in order. What a mess I had.

I need to send out a special thank you to a couple people. These people are family of mine that instead of giving each other gifts, get that money together and give it to someone in need. They chose us this year. I feel very honored that they gave it to us. They are my Great Aunt's and Uncle's, and Grandparents. Marlys, Rod & Sandy, Chuckie & Laurice, Arlo & LeVonne, and my Cuz's- Mary and Anne. We owe you all a HUGE Thank you. I wish I was able to give you each a big hug.

Also I owe a BIG Thank you to Roy, Pat & Rick, Mom & Dad, and Chad. They all went together and bought me a rifle. It's a Remington model 7400 270 semi-auto. It's Beautiful.

Also I want to point out that the kids got MORE then enough toys. They won't need any toys for the next year. And to think that there birthday's are coming up in March.

I also made a major step today. Our insurance is running a special on laser eye surgery's. So I called and made an appt. for Feb 12th in St. Cloud. It will be my first appt. And then there will be one more where they actually do the surgery. We are going to use our tax refund to get it done. I have been wanting to do this for SEVERAL years and with this special I just couldn't turn it down. I never thought I would be excited to get a surgery done. But the thought of being able to wake up and be able to see and no more fumbeling threw the blurryness is a great thought. Having had glasses since I was in second grade and hating them since the day I had to get them has just fueled the desire to get this done.

Take Care everyone,

Jen

Wednesday, December 26, 2001 at 09:26 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

What a day. We got home about 11 from mom and dad's. Chad helped me unpack the van which was packed to the max. We couldn't even fit a metal popcorn tin in the van. We had to leave it at moms till next trip. Then Chad went to work and left me home with the kids to unpack and get things straightened out.

Well as I was doing all that I got the bug to put away the xmas stuff to. There were things I got and wanted to put out but couldn't because of the xmas stuff. You can almost find the sitting room tonight. It is still filled with boxes and toys. But we are finally able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Good thing xmas only comes once a year.

It was great to see most of you. Alot of driving, but worth every mile.

Take care,

Jen

Tuesday, December 25, 2001 at 09:31 PM (CST)
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Things here are good. Tate has made his usual haul of toys. And Kiah has placed a close second. The van is PACKED. We will be lucky if we can get it all home.

Chad got me a Rifle for Christmas. I love it. I have alwasys had to barrow the uncles for hunting. I finally have my own.

Chad is getting a Authentic Personalized Viking Jersey. It wasn't here yet when we left Sat. So hopefully it will be there tomarrow when we get home.

Hope Everyone had a wonderfull day,

Jen

Saturday, December 22, 2001 at 07:28 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things were normal today. Chad and I have both seemed to have come down with a touch of a cold though.

Also a guy that Chad works with was looking to sell his leather funiture because he is moving and wouldn't fit into his new place. Chad got a REALLY good deal on it. It's black leather. Just what we had been looking at just didn't like the price. LOL. It's only a year old and looks like brand new.

Also yesterday we got a very pleasant suprise. The River 95.1 out if Fargo granted us a Christmas Wish. We received $500 plus $200 in gift certificates to Toys R Us. We want to thank whoever it was that sent in our names for this. It was a HUGE suprise that had me in tears. It was nothing we had EVER expected. Needless to say that is how we were able to get our new furniture. So it went for a very good cause.

We will be heading to Chad's Dad's tomarrow after I am off work. We will spend the night there and then start off the whole Christmas adventure. Mon. afternoon we will be at Chad's Dad's, that night at Stacey's(Chad's step-sister) and then to Mills to spend the night. Then Christmas Morning will be at my Mom and Dad's, noon at Inez's(Chad's aunt), and at 4 at my Grandma Hanson's. We will then go back to Mills to spend the night and come home Wed. morning. And people wonder why I get stressed at Christmas.

Take care everyone. Don't know if I will get this updated before Christmas at Mom and Dad's so Everyone have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Jen

Friday, December 21, 2001 at 08:31 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Mom and Jamie came up this morning to get their hair done. Jamie went with a whole new look. I hope she likes it. We did the same old thing with mom and "camoflouged" her grey.

Kiah is still a little fussy because of her ears. Hopefully the meds will kick in in another day and she will cheer up.

Tate I think is feeling a little under the weather. Hopefully it's nothing serious. But he just wasn't himself today.

C.J. got groomed. She's all pretty for xmas now. Not to mention spending a week down with mom and dad. She shouldn't track in as much snow or mud which ever the case may be.

We got the results of Chad's CT Scan. The chest is clear. The spleen has a spot on it that they think has died from the tumors being it in. But no big deal they are taking that anyways during surgery. And it did shrink again. But very little. Just seem to be nickin it and just can't totally wack it like it did that once. Oh well hopefully with surgery it all will be gone and then we just do preventive stuff.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Friday, December 21, 2001 at 12:04 AM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things are fine here. Chad had his CT Scan today. We will find out tomarrow the results.

Kiah went to the docs today. She once again has double ear infection. I am starting to think for each tooth, she will have an ear infection to go along with it.

Mom and Jamie are coming up tomarrow. They said they will be here by 9. They need there hair done for xmas. Will have the cam on. I have been laxed about having it on lately. I'm sorry. Will try and start remembering again to turn it on in the morning. Then it just stays on all day.

Jen

Wednesday, December 19, 2001 at 08:52 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Chad got his shots today. He got a phemonia(sp?), Influenzia, and Menengitis. He's feeling good. Just his arms are a little acky from the pokes. And I got my way... Chad is having a CT Scan tomarrow at 9. He said THANKS HUN!!! heheheee he's not thrilled about having to drink that yummy contrast stuff yet again. LOL.

Kiah's tooth came threw. She was a much happier baby today.

Tate was a little testy again today. Not sure what his problem is.

Jen

P.S. Deb, Mike, and Steph... We got the presents today for the kids. Thank you. You certainly didn't need to.

Tuesday, December 18, 2001 at 08:25 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are good. I guess Chad will get his shots tomarrow at his appt. We see the doc at 9:30 tomarrow. I am going to push the doc to do another CT scan before surgery. We will see if I win or not.

Tate was in a "testing" mode today. Everytime I turned around today he was seeing just how far he could push my buttons. At the moment he is doing it to Chad. LOL.

Kiah's second tooth is SOOOOOO close to coming threw. You can see and feel it. It has been giving her a heck of a time. She was very fussy today. I just tried to keep her drugged up on tylenol. She really hates that baby ambusol stuff. You touch her with it and she's a spittin and screamin like mad.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Monday, December 17, 2001 at 08:04 PM (CST)
Hello,

Everything is going good. I think Chad got his shots he needed. I reminded him anyways. I actually haven't talked to him yet though. He is putting in long hrs at work tonight. Chrysler has special promo thing going on. So who knows when he will be home tonight.

Kiah and Tate are doing good. Kiah is 9 months old today. Hard to believe how fast they grow. Her new thing is to stand along the couch and then carefully let go and see how long she can stand there and not fall. She thinks she's pretty hot stuff. Tate has become the protective big brother. He has learned that he can pick her up under her arm pits and carry her around the house. The new thing is to take her into his room and shut the door and play with her. I wonder how long that will last. I am just waiting for the day when it's "Get her out of MY room!!!"

Take care everyone,

Jen

Sunday, December 16, 2001 at 07:48 PM (CST)
Hello,

Just got home from Mom and Dad's. Tate had a ball. He is LOVING the idea of Christmas this year. Or should I say all the presents. LOL.

Chad is doing good. He goes in tomarrow for another CBC and his flu shot.

Hope everyone is good.

Jen

Saturday, December 15, 2001 at 05:12 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Going down to Mom and Dad's tonight. Tate has been pleading to go down tonight instead of tomarrow.

We will be celebrating xmas with mom's side of the family.

Things here are good. Just waiting for the next doc appt. on wed. Chad has to go in on Mon and get his Flu shot. They want him to get it before he has surgery.

Take care

Jen

Friday, December 14, 2001 at 08:48 PM (CST)
Hello everyone,

Things here are good. Everyone is doing fine. Kiah still has a little cough, but is ok. Tate said his first naughty word tonight. He said ass. I told him that if he talks like that Daddy and I will have to wash his mouth out with soap. He didn't like that idea. We have no clue where he got it from. So I told him if he hears someone say to tell them that it's naughty. He said ok Mommy, I will wash there mouth out with soap. LOL.

Hope everyone is doing good.

Jen

Friday, December 14, 2001 at 10:47 AM (CST)
Hello,

I don't know what happened, but I know I posted a note last night and now it's not there. Mom said she posted a msg last night as well and it's not there either. So hope whatever it is gets straightened out soon.

Things here are good. Chad is back to work full bore. His counts were good yesterday. He didn't give me exact numbers, just that they were good.

The kids are doing great. Kiah fell yesterday at daycare. She cut open her lip. But is fine today.

Will keep you all posted.

Jen

Wednesday, December 12, 2001 at 11:52 AM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Thank you Mom for the wreath. I love it. It's very pretty.

Chad went to work today. He already told me if he gets to tired he will come home. I hope he listens to his own words. They gave him another med for his mouth yesterday. Besides the yeast one. This one is for the pain. The gal that filled the pres. told him to be carefull or he could choke on his own tounge this stuff is so numbing. It has worked. He's been feeling better. He just takes a qutip and dabs it on where he needs it.

There's new pics up. All 3 are this years xmas pics. Thought you guys might like to see them.

Jen

Tuesday, December 11, 2001 at 05:36 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad is doing a little better. He did have yeast growing in his mouth so he has yet another med to take. They also gave us another 3 days of shots.

Tate has been bugging us to have fish like grandma has. So today he and I went and got new rocks and things for the tank and I set it up. Now in a few days maybe we can add some fish. He's all excited about it. Chad on the other hand said "Do I have a say in this?" I told him no.

Tonight we are going to do xmas pictures for the magnets we hand out each year. So I am sure I will have a couple to post on here tomarrow.

Hope everyone is doing good.

Jen

Monday, December 10, 2001 at 08:39 PM (CST)
REALITY CHECK!!!

There bacccckkkkkk... LOL.

Boy was it ever nice those 2 days. LOL. Chad had a great time at the game. He said he couldn't yell and scream much though because his mouth is hurting him so bad. He got a prescription today that numbs his mouth so that he can eat and talk. His counts were ok. Not great but ok. His WBC was 1.2, HGB was 11, and Platlets were up to 20,000. So the good news is he didn't have to go back to Fargo. He does have to go in tomarrow though and fidn out if he has yeast growing in his mouth. They said there's a chance of it because of all the meds he is on. So he will go in and see Statton in the morning and then report back to Kobrinsky.

The kids are doing great. Kiah and Tate got a HUGE amount of hand me downs from a couple of my classmates from High School. There kids had out grown them and they desided to give them to us. THANK YOU NIKKI AND DINA!!! They are wonderfull. I feel like christmas came early!!!

I also got a yellow rose today from my favorite Sister-in-Law. Thank you Missy. You made my day. It was a much needed pick me up.

Mom brought the kids back today about 12:30. And Chad stayed home with them this afternoon. He is napping right now. He's getting really tired and between that and his mouth it's getting harder and harder for him to stay happy and upbeat.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Sunday, December 09, 2001 at 07:52 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

I'm home alone again. Chad and the kids will be home tomarrow about 12.

I talked to Mom this morning and she said Chad gave himself his own shot. I'm impressed. He's always been such a chicken about shots.

The kids are doing great.

Take care

Jen

Saturday, December 08, 2001 at 07:57 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

I am home alone. I can't remember the last time I was home ALL alone. Chad took the kids to Mills. They will spend the night and then he will get up and go to the viking game tomarrow.

Kiah is officially CRAWLING!!! She has been doing a belly brawl for about 3 weeks, but tonight I actually saw her up on all 4.

Chad is feeling good. The infusions they gave him must of done some good.

Take Care,

Jen

P.S. I put up pics again on the page... SOme were working and others weren't. So I fixed it. Also don't forget to leave me a msg!!!

Friday, December 07, 2001 at 01:13 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

We are home. Chad got his infusions last night and is doing good. They already warned us that he may have to go back on Mon and do it again. They don't think he bottomed out yet from the Chemo. So the chemo will "eat up" the stuff they just put in him. Will find out Mon.

They also talked about maybe having to continue his shots a little longer to make his body produce more WBC and HGB. Again will find out Mon. THey gave him the go ahead on going to the Vikings game with my Brother on Sun. THey said what they just gave him will give him a little "boost" so he should be fine.

The kids are good. I'm fine. Take care and talk to you all soon.

Jen

Thursday, December 06, 2001 at 06:22 PM (CST)
Hello everyone,

We had a change of plans today. Chad's counts were WAY low so we are in Fargo. He is getting both blood and platlets.

Things are good otherwise though. We brought both kids with us. And Tate is already tearing up the place. Kiah of course just makes a little whine and the nurses have her.

Everyone have a good night,

Jen

Wednesday, December 05, 2001 at 08:03 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Our pictures got canceled today. We were hoping to be able to do outdoors pics and it just wasn't the weather to be outside. So we are going to reschedule for next week and try again.

Kiah was unusually unhappy today. I sure hope those teeth come threw soon. She's had a hard time sleeping the past few nights as well.

Chad goes in for another CBC tomarrow. Will let ya know how it goes. We are expecting them to be lower. He's been really tired and acky today. He said everytime he stands up he gets dizzy and his head pounds.

Take Care

Jen

P.S. what do I have to do to get a msg from you guys???? sheshhhhhh I haven't had a new msg since the 30th. Come on guys. I am starting to feel lonely. I like to hear from you guys just as much as you like to hear from us!

Tuesday, December 04, 2001 at 10:25 PM (CST)
Hello,

I just got home from my cookie show. It was alot of fun. Chad was really tired today. His evergy level is dropping big time. I forgot to report on his CBC yesterday so I will repost it again today for those of you that didn't get it. His WBC is at a 1 his HGB is at 10 and his platlets are in his words "ok".

The photographer will be here tomarrow at 9am to do pictures.

Hope everything is good with you all.

Jen

Monday, December 03, 2001 at 08:24 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

What a day. At 4 this morning I woke up with a fever and feeling icky. I still had it this morning and didn't go to work. Chad took the kids to daycare for 2 reason. 1. So that they didn't get sick as well and 2 so that we wouldn't be fighting with them all day with him and I both not feeling good.

He picked them up about 5:30 tonight and brought them home. I am feeling a little better, but am still acky and my head feels like a balloon. Chad is wore out and has no energy at all. So we are a real pair with the kids tonight. We have both been looking at each other like whos turn is it this time.

Hope you guys are doing better than us. LOL.

Jen

P.S. I forgot to add Chad's CBC report. THe WBC is at 1, his HGB is at 10, and his platlets he just said are good(whatever that means).

Sunday, December 02, 2001 at 09:06 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad is feeling tired today. He is afraid tomarrow when he goes in to get his CBC done they will tell him to stay at home. So he and I went out for supper at the Ground Round tonight.

We had Ann, Alan, Adam, and Siri over for the game today. It was alot of fun just to be together with them. Tate and Adam went outside and played for a good hr. Tate is LOVING the snow.

Will let you know tomarrow what his CBC report says. Have a good day everyone,

Jen

Saturday, December 01, 2001 at 08:02 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are good. Chad went to work again today. He did come home about 4 though.

It was Christmas Formal up here tonight. So I did my babysitter and a friends of her's hair this afternoon. I also hadn't had the chance to play with my cookie press from PC yet, so I made cookies tonight.

Kiah is SOOOOO close to crawling. She went forward about 3 movements and then gave up. She also is able to now walk behind the Jeep we have and push it along and walk behind it. She will let go for just a few seconds and then realizes that she's not holding on and sits down. I think the hardest part is getting her Big brother to leave her alone long enough to be able to do it. He is always RIGHT there, saing "No, Baby Kiah, Not like that." And then will knock her onto the floor.

The Fox Family channel has been playing Christmas stories all day long. I have been taping a few of them for Tate to watch at a later time. He is so into Christmas this year. It's been so much fun so far I can only imagine what the rest of the month will be like.

Take Care Everyone,

Jen

Friday, November 30, 2001 at 06:36 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Chad over did it today. He went to work this morning, but didn't make it past 1. He threw up on the way home. He slept all afternoon and is feeling a little better tonight just still tired. I warned him that he was over doing it. But he had to find out for himself.

He went and got his shot today and brought the stuff home so that I can give them to him. It's just so much easier for me to do it than him haveing to go into the clinic everyday for it.

The kids are doing fine. I went and talked to a photographer today. He is comming to the house next wed morning to do pics here and then we will do a session in his studio as well. A guy that Chad works with gave it to us for Chad's Birthday. It sounds like he has quite a few neat ideas.

I put the kids's santa pic up... so check it out!

Take Care Everyone,

Jen

Thursday, November 29, 2001 at 08:39 PM (CST)
Hello,

Things went as normal today. Chad actually went back to work. But tonight he is pretty tired and wore out. He said he is a little acky feeling. I came home at 6:30 tonight to help him out. It was a good thing.

He forgot to go in for his shot today.

Hope everyone is doing good

Jen

Wednesday, November 28, 2001 at 08:06 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Chad got home about 5:30 today. Which is actually earlier than I expected him. He feeling ok. Just a little tired. I'm guessing from all the driving.

We sold our snowmobile today. Chad took it around the yard one last time and came in saing maybe we shouldn't sell it. LOL.

I got all but 5 christmas presents wrapped today. I am feeling so good that I am done and don't have to worry about it. I have those 5, just don't have bags or wrapping paper to wrap em. Tate and Chad went out and shoveled snow tonight for a little bit. Tate was in 7th heaven to be out there playing with Daddy. He was VERY excited when he saw him pull in the driveway.

Take Care everyone,

Jen

Tuesday, November 27, 2001 at 07:12 PM (CST)
Hello everybody, it's Chad. Jen has been bugging me to to a Journal entry and since I am in Fargo all by my self it was a good time to do it. I am doing fine. Same treatments as the last two times so nothing new there. The big news though is that we have decided to do surgury. Dr. Mystry will go in and cut out Whats left of the Tumor and my spleen. We are scheduled to go on Dec. 31st. The spleen appears it may have some infection from the Tumor and since is was once infected for sure we decided it is best just to take it out. I will be in the Hostpital for about a week and out of work for about a month after that. The Doctors appear very confident we can do a good job of this and clean out all signs of cancer. He may also have to take out part of my stomach and possibly pancrease as well. Treatments after the surgury will be decided after we see how well surgury goes. Well, this is getting very long so I will sign of for now and update some more tommorow. Love you all and thank you very much for checking in.

Monday, November 26, 2001 at 06:39 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

I got a call from Chad this morning, They have scheduled surgery for Dec 31st. He said the doctors are very optomistic that they can get all the cancer out. They will have to remove his Spleen and maybe part of his stumach and pancreas. But they have said that they are going to wait on the stem cell transplant because they are that confident in getting all the cancer removed.

He had another treatment today and wil again tomarrow. Hopefully he will be able to head home tomarrow about 4.

Tate had to sleep with Mommy last night. He just couldn't get used to the fact that Daddy wasn't home with him. Gonna try and get him to sleep in his own bed tonight. I asked him if he knew where Daddy was and at first he said work and then looked at me and said the hospital. I called Chad tonight from home here and Tate refused to talk to him.

We got hit by the storm, but I'm sure not as bad as some of you. We got about 6 inches and should get another inch over night tonight. I keep asking Tate who ordered the snow. He looks at me and says ME!!! I said what did you do that for? And of course his answer is so he can play in the deep snow and so Santa can come. LOL. His leap pad came today by UPS. I can't wait for him to go to bed so I can play with it. LOL. Oh come on now!!! I know you parents play with your kids's toys before they get em to!!! At least MY parents used to!!!

Have a good night everyone,

Jen

Sunday, November 25, 2001 at 09:26 PM (CST)
Hello,

We are in the process of watching the Vikings game not knowing whether we should be cring or laughing.

Today went good. I had to work and Chad stayed home with the kids. Chad will be going down to Fargo in the early morning. He has to be in Fargo at 9 to get admitted for treatment. I am staying home this time.

We had a slight twist in things. Our sitter called us sick. So I am taking tomarrow off and working Tue instead. Chad will be coming home Wed sometime. I will keep in touch with him by phone and maybe we can even get him to update this himself from Fargo.

Have a good day everyone,

Jen

Saturday, November 24, 2001 at 08:22 PM (CST)
Hello,

Things got a little turned around on us today. We were sposse to get hit with a big snow storm. Well it didn't start till about 4. But at 8:30 last night our babysitter for today canceled on us. So that put us frantically searching for a sitter. We called my Mom to see what she as doing today, but didn't want to risk the storm. So we called our daycare provider and she said she would do it. Well then today at 7:30 we got a call. It was Mom... she was in Park Rapids and on her way here. So I called daycare and told her that we didn't need her. Mom got her about 8:30 and spent the day with the kids. She started home about 5:30. At 7:30 she called and was in Park Rapids. The roads are NASTY. How those of you that know these roads... She should have been home by then. And is only half way.

I owe Mom a HUGE thank you for coming up today. Mom your the greatest. We all love you very much.

The other big news is that Chad had desided to sell our Snowmobile. We have just desided that with him sick it just isn't going to get used and we can always get a new after he's healthy again. But he desided to go shopping today. The owner of Sears knows Chad very well. Well he informed him that they were having a HUGE sale today and Chad couldn't turn it down. He's been oooooing and ahhhhhing over this 35 inch TV for months. Well be bought it today. He figures for what we can sell the snowmobile for we could get the TV and the Jeep and break even. He figures he will get more use out of the TV. LOL. He's probably right.

Hope everyone stays safe and worm and weathers out the storm.

Jen

Friday, November 23, 2001 at 08:48 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

We had a nice day today. Chad went to work and the kids and I stayed home. Tonight we went down to the waterfront for the yearly "The Night We Light" festival. We went to the parade and then down to the waterfront for the lighting of the lights and the fireworks. The fog was so thick though that the fireworks didn't turn out very good. All you could see was the bottom half of one every once in a while or the glow of whatever color they were setting off. But it still was a nice evening to just be out.

Chad is looking at a Jeep that is 3 yrs newer than the one he has now, but it also has 20,000 more miles. BUT everything works on it including the doors. LOL. And there is not a speck of rust on it. We could end up getting into to for only a few hundred dollars. He's got it home tonight. I told him it's not a dumb move. The one he has now is not real dependable as far as taking it someplace. And our 30,000 3 yr warranty will be gone on the van in a matter of months with the way we have been driving it because we don't have anything else to use for going out of town. So we could pick this up and save some mileage on the van.

Hope everyone is good,

Jen

Thursday, November 22, 2001 at 08:16 PM (CST)
Happy Thanksgiving everyone,

Hope everyone had a wonderfull day. We had a very nice day with Chad's side of the family. The kids played till the very end. I don't even think we had a single argument.

The dinner turned out great. And Missy's pie's were wonderfull. We also celebrated Brandon and Ally's birthday. With the amount of wrapping paper with only 2 kids birthday's I'm afraid to see what xmas will be like with all the kids.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Wednesday, November 21, 2001 at 08:09 PM (CST)
Well we talked to the doc today. The main big tumor in the middle srunk from 5.5cm to 5.3. The other one stayed the same. So we didn't get as good of results as we were hopeing for.

They are going to repeat it one more time next week. And we will see how it responds. While Chad is there they are going to have Dr. Mystery look over his charts and scans and talk to Chad about debulking him. In otherwords doing surgery to remove the rest of it. They want to try this treatment one more time though and see how it goes. But they also want to prepare for the surgery so that if they have to they are ready. Kobrinsky says Mystery is the best transplant surgeon they have. And Mystery will look over Chads charts and they will see what he thinks. If they can do the surgery without "hurting" chad they may go for it in the near future. But they want to make sure that it won't "disable" him in anyway. At which point after the surgery they would do a stem cell transplant.

Things here are good though. We have desided I will stay home next week. They are just repeating what they have done the last 2 times and he has had no problems. I take the kids to and from daycare on Mon's so don't have to worry about anything there. And Chad will get out of the hospital Wed and come home.

I've been busy getting ready for Thanksgiving. For any of you that don't know I am doing it here at our house for Chad's side of the family. It should be fun. I'm actually looking forward to it. I made lefsa yesterday and made 2 different salads today. Missy is bringing dessert.

Hope everyone has a WONDERFULL day. Remember that it is a day to be thankful for the things in life. I know there is lots to be thankful here. They had originally only given Chad 1 yr. That was 6 months ago already!!! I'm positive that we WILL beat that and have many more Thanksgivings together.

Jen

P.S. We will have the cam on tomarrow, so if you get the chance check it out.

Sunday, November 18, 2001 at 06:47 PM (CST)
Good Morning,

yesterday was a long day. It started out "normal" took the kids to daycare and went to work. But then after work I had a show to do. So went directly to that. It was 9 before I got home and then between watching the Vikings game and making potatoes for lefsa I forgot to update this.

Chad had his CT scan yesterday. We will find out the results Wed. He had to pick the kids up from daycare and get them home. THank goodness we have a WONDERFUL daycare lady. He didn't get there till almost 7. He had a delivery to make.

I am going to make lefsa today and try and get some more cleaning done. I will turn the web cam on and have it on most of the day. I will probably even move it into the kitchen so you all can watch me covered in flour. This will be only my second time making it by myself. I got all the stuff I need for it last year for xmas and am excited to use it.

Have a great day

Jen

Friday, November 16, 2001 at 08:47 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad went to work today. He desided even though he wasn't feeling the best as long as his counts were up maybe work would do him some good. He's tired tonight, but that's nothing new. The only thing he did say was that he can't run. He tried today and said it wasn't a pretty site! He said his knees acked for the next 20 min.

The kids are doing good. The things Tate comes up with just make me laugh. Although tonight we had our first taste of rebelion. He called me stupid. Needless to say after the spanking and a timeout he desided that wasn't the best thing to say to his mommy. Kiah has been fussier than normal. I'm guessing that other tooth is tring to come threw.

Have a good day everyone,

Jen

Thursday, November 15, 2001 at 09:48 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad had his CBC today. His counts are on there way up. His WBC is at 3. His HGB is at 10 and his platlets are at 200. Now he's only wondering why it is he feels so crudy when his counts are on there way up. I gave him his last shot today. Hard to beleive it's been 2 weeks already. And next week we start all over again. CT scan mon and wed we meet with the doc.

The kids are doing good. Tate has desided he wants a rooster for xmas. Not a stuffed one... a REAL one. He wants it to wake him up in the morning. He wants to wake up to cockadoodledoo. He said he's going to ask santa for it. Oh well.

Have a good night everyone

Jen

Wednesday, November 14, 2001 at 07:51 PM (CST)
Big news today!!! Kiah cut her first tooth. We had noticed the past few days she has been fussier than normal, but didn't think anything of it because of the flu Tate had. Stuck my finger in her mouth today and it must have just broke threw.

Chad was really tired again today. He did make a trip to town with me just to get out of the house. But other than that has been on the couch all afternoon.

Did one of you give my son some caffeine or sugar I don't know about??? He has been wired ALLLLLLLL day. He's been bouncing off the walls and screaming. Everytime I turned around today it was "Go sit in that chair and calm down." I am ready to duct tape him in his bed.

Have a good night everyone

Jen

Tuesday, November 13, 2001 at 06:27 PM (CST)
Hello everyone,

Things hit Chad today. He was nothing but a big glob of goo sitting on the couch all day. He has been short of breath and acky. Weird how one day he's fine and the next he's out for the count.

I got all my xmas stuff up. ANd have been doing some deep cleaning for Thanksgiving next week. I am doing it here at our house for Chad's side of the family. There will be about 10 of us here counting kids. So it's not that bad. I'm just like my mom though... Clean clean clean till company comes. Then after they leave who cares if it's clean. LOL.(sorry mom. Had to throw that in there.)

Tate and Kiah have had a little diarrea(sp) today. I think it's the left over of Tate's flu. Kiah threw up last night once. So I think she got a little bit of it to. If I don't come down with it, it will be a miracle. After taking care of the kids both days. I just hope Chad doesn't get it.

We had another family contact us with a 20yr old son with the same cancer as Chad. He's not been having as good of results as Chad and are looking for anything to help them. I have forwarded the info they sent me to Kobrinsky. I also gave them the address to RMCC. I wish them all the luck. And please keep them in your prayers as well.

Take Care everyone,

Jen

Monday, November 12, 2001 at 07:45 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad was in today and had his CBC done. HIs WBC is still at .7, his HGB is down to 9. and his Platlets were at 15 when he had his infusion last fri and is up to 55 now. They are still saing it's low. They want to see them around 100.

Tate is feeling better. Both kids had a good day at daycare. Emma said that Kiah was "dancing" to the music today. Usually she just sits there and listens. Today she actually interacted with it.

I have the web cam up tonight. I am in a xmas mood. We got a fake tree this year. For 3 years we have tried to have a real tree, but every corner of this house has a heat vent and they just dry out to fast. So they were on sale and I went and bought one. SO neeless to say I HAD to put it up. Chad was just shaking his head at me. Oh well.

The cams on tonight for those of you wanting to check out what's going on. I have been having it on alot more lately so don't forget to check it out. It's on for you guys.

Jen

Sunday, November 11, 2001 at 08:47 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Tate is feeling a little better. He still won't eat though. I think he's afraid he will throw up again.

Chad has been tring his hardest to stay away from him today. It's hard to do that though when he's standing there looking at daddy with his big puppy dog eyes saing "Daddy, I want to cuddle with you."

Otherwise though Chad is feeling great. He's haveing very little side effects this time. I don't know if that's because they have given him so many drugs to counteract everything or if it's something else.

Hope everything is good with you all

Jen

Sunday, November 11, 2001 at 08:02 AM (CST)
Good Morning everyone,

Tate got the flu last night. He was up 4 times throwing up. He also has a low grade fever.

I was sposse to work today, but I'm going to have to call in. I can't leave Chad to watch him. His counts are to low to be around Tate. So I am lysoling the house and I told Chad "You will have to hang out downstairs and I will be upstairs with the kids".

Jen

Saturday, November 10, 2001 at 08:07 PM (CST)
Hello,

Chad stayed home with the kids today. He said he was feeling pretty good. He's a little tired tonight. But I told him "heck even I'm tired after being home with them all day by myself!"

Things are good.

Take care

Friday, November 09, 2001 at 06:59 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things went good today. We spent most of the day at the clinic. Chad had to be there at 9 this morning for his platlet infusion. They also gave him tylenol and benedryl. SO he was sleeping like a baby after he got home. Then at 1:30 I had to take Kiah in to the clinic for her ears. She had to have a checkup to make sure she had kicked this ear infection she has been fighting. It's gone. Thank goodness. But we were there longer than we thought we would be. We didn't get home from there till almost 3. Then at 3:30 LB called and said they were in town. So we met them at Sears and we got our new washer. I've already done 2 loads. Sure is nice.

Chad is feeling good tonight. We are still waiting for the HGB to drop. We know it is going to happen, just hopeing it won't be for to long or drop to low.

Well Sands are here to take the old washer out of the house and into the garage so I better get going.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Thursday, November 08, 2001 at 11:01 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Chad had a CBC(blood test) done today. His WBC is down to .7 and his HGB is at 10. 10 isn't bad for the HGB. But he is having a slight problem. His platlets are VERY low. They told him he wasn't allowed to play with any sharp objects today. He has to go in tomarrow and get something done for that. He can't remember the name of it and they told him over the phone so I couldn't hear. I told him that's why I will go to EVERY appt. he goes to. Because they tell him things and they go in one ear and right out the other.

Chad is having a few more side effects. He said he is starting to get the acky feeling in his bones. And also when he first stands up he is getting a little dizzy. But nothing that isn't bearable.

Other than that the day went fine. I took the kids to daycare and Chad went and got them about 5:30. So he only had to take care of them from then till I got home.

Take care

Jen

Wednesday, November 07, 2001 at 06:16 PM (CST)
Hello,

It was another uneventfull day. Chad actually went to work for a little while today. Just to keep up on things.

We also made a trip to Sears today. Lutheran Brotherhood in Mills had some extra money and is giving it to us to use on a new washing machine. So we went and picked out the one we want. We found a maytag we liked in the range they had given us to spend. LB will be coming up on fri to purchase it and have it delivered.

I must be getting the winter feeling already. I had an itch to light candles again. So I searched threw the house and couldn't find a 1. That's pretty bad for me. I usually have lots on hand. So I had to make a quick trip to Target today to get some.

Hope everything is going good for everyone

Jen

Tuesday, November 06, 2001 at 08:00 PM (CST)
Hello,

Well today was just a day at home.We got Chad's counts this morning and his WBC is below 1 so they don't want him leaving the house. His HGB was still at 10 so he is feeling good.

I spend the day cleaning. After being gone for a week I had laundry coming out of my ears. Don't think I'm ever going to get caught up. Also been doing the deep cleaning and lysoling everything so that the house is as sanitary as possible so Chad doesn't catch anything.

Tate had a great time playing outside today. He played on his swingset for a good 1 1/2 hrs this afternoon. He's gonna go crazy this winter when he can't go outside. Nice to think that it's already Nov. and he can still be outside. Makes it a little easier.

I think we were all glad to be in our own beds again. Kiah has even been sleeping completely threw the night again. She had been waking up about 4 just for her pasy and then she would go back to sleep.

Take care everyone,

Jen

P.S. We got news today and Missy(Chad's sister) is expecting again. This will be there 3rd. As I have always said there are oopses, but there never mistakes. Joff always kided about wanting 10 kids... Starting to wonder if he will get his way!!! LOL. CONGRATS Mis and Joff. She is due sometime in June. And my doc wonders why I want to get my tubes tied!!! I don't want no oopses. LOL.

Monday, November 05, 2001 at 10:18 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are good. Chad had a spell again with his mouth being sore. It's starting to heal up now. He is starting to get a little more tired. He said he came home today for lunch and was just going to lay down for a min and 4 hrs later woke up wondering where the day went.

I got my deer or should I say big dog. It was a little one, but I guess it's better than nothing. Chad didn't even see any to shoot any. But it was great that he was able to get out.

Hope everything is going good with everyone.

Jen

Saturday, November 03, 2001 at 09:03 PM (CST)
Hi Everyone,

Chad is doing good so far. He went out hunting this morning and stayed out all day. He is getting a little more tired, but doing good. We only got 2 deer today. Should have had more, but oh well. There's always tomarrow. Chad had the choice of quitting at any time. We gave him the cell phone so all he had to do was make a call. He is planning on going out tomarrow. We will see how he sleeps and if he is feeling up to it.

His shots are going good.

Take care

Jen

Friday, November 02, 2001 at 01:36 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Just to let you know... Chad is doing good. He is slowly getting more tired. He is napping right now. I had to give him his first shot today. He said I did good and he didn't even feel it. LOL. Maybe I should become a nurse. LOL.

Tate and Kiah are doing great. Tate was excited to see us last night. He will be staying another night or 2 with grandma here at the house. Chad and I will be taking Kiah down to Dalton with us for hunting. Great Grandma is going to watch her while Chad and I hunt.

Hope everything is good with all of you.

Jen

Thursday, November 01, 2001 at 02:17 PM (CST)
Hello,

Just to let you all know Chad is going to be able to do his shots. So we will be going to my mom and dad's tonight and then down to dalton tomarrow for hunting sat and sun.

Both he and Kiah are napping right now. We should be getting out of here about 4.

He is still feeling great and they have given him a couple of new and different drugs to help with his mouth sores. They also have told him that he can have a blood transfusion this time to help him recover so he's not out of work for another 3 weeks. We will see about that when the time comes.

Take care

Jen

Thursday, November 01, 2001 at 09:37 AM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are great. Chad is feeling wonderful. He will get his last treatment today at 12. Hopefull we will be out of here between 2-4. They are checking to see if he can give himself his growth shots. That way we can go down to dalton and he can go hunting this weekend. If not we will have to go back to bemidji so he can get them. And then he won't be able to hunt.

My headache is gone. It started to come back yesterday, but I took some exedrin migraine. That really seems to work.

Kiah had a great time in her pea in a pod outfit. She was the talk of the hospital.

Take care

Jen

Wednesday, October 31, 2001 at 08:55 AM (CST)
Good Morning Everyone,

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Things are going good so far. Chad got his treatment about 2 yesterday. He feels fine. He did say his calfs and arms are achy.

I stayed at Roy's last night. Yesterday about 1 I started getting a migraine. By last night I was hurting big time. Throwing up and the whole bit. I managed to take some meds and go to bed about 7:30. I'm better this morning but I can still feel that it's there.

Kiah has once again won over the nurses. I brought her halloween costume with. Will put her in it in a little bit.

Talk to you all later.

Jen

Monday, October 29, 2001 at 08:44 PM (CST)
Hello,

Things went good today. Mom came up and picked up Tate and C.J. and took them back to her house.

Chad, Kiah, and I will go to the hospital tomarrow. We have to be there at 10. I will probably be staying at Roy's.

Remember to check in on here. I can always update this from the hospital.

Take Care

Jen

Sunday, October 28, 2001 at 08:49 PM (CST)
Hello Everyone,

Today was a fun day. I had to work from 12-5, but after that was the fun part. LOL. After I got done with work we went out to the nothern inn for Treat Street. It's put on by the local radio station and many other buisnesses in town. They give away candy and games to the kids. Tate was dressed up in his lion outfit. Kiah in her pea in a pod. Tate went threw and got more candy than he knows what to do with. Then after that Bemidji Chrysler(who helped sponsor) invited all the people with kids out for a pizza party and swimming. So we all went for it. It was alot of fun. At one point though I ended up watching 3 3yr olds and 1 6 yr old... I'm still tring to figure out how those guys snuck away and into the hottub without me knowing. Oh well.

Tomarrow my Mom is coming up to get Tate and taking him back to her house for the week. Chad and I haven't desided whether we are going to go down to Fargo tomarrow night or wait till Tue morning.

Have a good day everyone,

Jen

Saturday, October 27, 2001 at 08:51 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Hope things went good for you today. Things here were uneventful. Chad and I went to work and Tyler came over and babysat the kids.

Don't forget to turn your clocks back tonight. I really wish they would do this the weekend AFTER deer hunting instead of before... I would get another hours sleep!!!

Take care

Jen

P.S. I put up new pics, so take a look. Also don't forget to leave us a msg... I really do hate talking to myself :)

Friday, October 26, 2001 at 11:15 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

It's been a normal day. Chad and I worked all day. Tate and Kiah babysat Tyler today. I say it that way cause I'm sure it wasn't the other way around. LOL. I know I have mentioned before how wonderfull the Sands are, but I have to do it again. They are such a great family. You couldn't ask more in a neighbor. They are there for us anytime we need them. I hope Chad and I can raise such great kids. Tyler even did the dishes and vacumned my floor today!!! I'm gonna have to warn him not to clean to much or I might have to start asking him to come over more often. LOL.

I am really wore out agian tonight. Been thinking about going to bed. And with the time change that means it's only 8. YIKES!

Everyone remember to turn there clocks back tonight. I really wish they would reconsider having daylight savings end AFTER deer hunting instead of the weekend before... I could get another hrs. sleep that way.

Take Care everyone

Jen

Thursday, October 25, 2001 at 09:27 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things are going great here. We are on cloud nine right now. I think both Chad and I felt a HUGE brick lifted off our shoulders yesterday. Not that this is a definte cure... but at least we finally found something that hit it.

We have had so many people in tears since we told them the news. It's so wonderfull to know that people really do care and feel so strongly.

We know this is not going to be an easy thing to beat. But knowing we at least have made a dent makes all the hard times and struggles we are going to go threw all worth while.

I don't think either one of us is looking forward to next week. We've been threw this once and knowing he is going to have to get sick again is no fun. But if that's what it is going to take then that is what we will do.

The kids are doing great. Tate is going to go to Mom and Dad's Mon. He will be there threw Sun. So Grandpa is going to have to take him trick or treating. I've already heard it's going to be a hard thing for grandpa to give up his yearly child scaring act. Maybe he will get the best of both worlds. Kiah will be with us again up at the hospital. I am going to bring her costume with us and dress her up on halloween. I'm sure she will have the nurses begging to get there hands on her.

Talk to you all soon.

Jen

Wednesday, October 24, 2001 at 10:43 AM (CDT)
Well the news we've been waiting for!!!

The last treatment we did WORKED!!! It shrunk the tumors by 50%. It completely cleared his liver and spleen. So we are down to the 2 major lumps left. And like I said it hit those as well. The other treatments we have done have hit the small ones but done nothing to those big ones.

This worked so well that the doc wants to repeat it again next week. Chad will be admitted on Tue and get out Thur. They will do the exact same thing they did the last time with the 3 different drugs called VAC.

I want to thank everyone out there for your prayers. It is the power of prayer that is giving us the strength to continue and I have to beleive that God is hearing them and healing Chad as well.

Take care everyone.

Jen

Monday, October 22, 2001 at 09:56 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Chad had his CT scan today. Things went well. So we will find out on wed what the results are.

Thur we are sposse to have an appt in fargo. We will see on wed what becomes of that. We are not sure what the next step is yet. Hopefully they will clue us in on that on Wed.

Tate and Kiah are doing good. Kiah finally finished up her meds from her ear infection mess. She still has a nasty cough. I am hopeing that she doesn't come down sick again.

Jen

Sunday, October 21, 2001 at 02:20 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

GO VIKINGS!!! Ok so here's hopeing!!! Just to let you all know we ended up making about $4500 at the benefit in Fergus. THANK YOU ALL!!! And I was glad to see no family feuds beginning over the silent auction. I was starting to wonder the way Steph was hovering over that shirt!!!

We made it home safe and sound about an hour ago. The vikings play at 3. We will turn on the cam so you can check in on us to see if we are pouting or cheering. I was glad to hear from some of you that you check this site and the cam often. That's why we created it was for all of you guys. But you could leave me a few more msgs in the guestbook. I don't like talking to myself!!! heheheheheeee.

Take care everyone.

Jen

Friday, October 19, 2001 at 05:25 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here this week have been great. It's been nice to know what's going on from one day to the next.

Tomorrow we will be in Fergus for the benefit at the VFW. All are welcome to join us. They are serving at 5:30. There is also a silent auction going to be going on. There are over 30 items for it.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Wednesday, October 17, 2001 at 10:28 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things have returned to "normal" here. It's nice to have it. Even if it's only for a week.

Tonight we went out to supper with Ann, Alan, Adam, and Siri. We took the kids as well and went to the Ground Round. They just opened up a couple weeks ago. It was a good evening and great to be with friends. The kids had a ball playing together and Tate didn't want to leave them to come home. He wanted either him to go with them or them to come with us. He didn't care which as long as the kids were together.

Hope everything is good.

Jen

Tuesday, October 16, 2001 at 11:09 AM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. Just haven't thought about it. When we got home Sun night we were all so tired we went straight to bed and then i just spaced it out last night after work.

The benefit went good on Sun. We made about $3,500. It was great to see most of you.

Chad is feeling great. He has been back to work since thur or fri. He is loving being back. He was going nuts being at home for 2 1/2 weeks. He said the other day "I get a week off!!!" Meaning he doesn't have to go see the clinic or hospital or needle pokes for a week. LOL.

Kiah is doing better. Her ears don't seem to be bugging her. She really was a trooper threw the whole thing. She was pretty fussy sat. But considering how sick she was, one days worth of being fussy wasn't bad.

Tate I guess needed a night at Grandma and Grandpa's to remember how to stay dry. He stayed dry last night. Don't know what it is. He will do so good for so long and then he gets a streak. Oh well. The joy's of potty training.

I have been in contact with a few people from the ACS(American Cancer Society). They have given me a few ideas and people to call for help.

Just a reminder there is another benefit this Sat in Fergus Falls at the VFW. They will be serving from 5:30-7:30. They are also having a silent auction. There are LOTS of things for it. 5-6 DU prints. A limited edition(not available for sale) die cast lund boat, motor, trailer. And numerous other things.

Hope everything is well with everyone.

Jen

P.S. I put a new pic of Chad and the kids up.

Saturday, October 13, 2001 at 04:14 PM (CDT)
Hello,

We will be headed down to Mills shortly for the Benefit and Baptism tomarrow. Things went ok today. Kiah was a little fussy from being sick. I stayed home with her today. I'm glad I did. I wouldn't have wanted to put a babysitter threw what I have.

Chad went to work and seems to be doing great. They told him fri that he doesn't have to come get anymore shots till after his next treatment. He goes in on the 22nd for his next CT scan. And then on the 24th we meet with the doc to see how things are progressing. So he has a week off other than his regular pills he has to take.

Hope to see most of you tomarrow.

Jen

Friday, October 12, 2001 at 09:27 PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone,

Chad is doing better. They did a blood test on him today and his WBC was up to 11!!! His HG is still hanging low, but slowly getting better. He is feeling better. He still gets wore out by the end of the day,but has been able to go to work the past few days.

Kiah and I had to make a run in to the ER tonight. She has a double ear infection, sore throut, and the flu. Poor baby. I never knew anything was wrong till tonight when she threw up her supper and I went to pick her up and she was really warm. She was running a fever of 104.2. She is now resting. Hopefully she will be feeling better by sun. The doc put her on some strong meds. Plus I am to give her Tylenol and PediaCare every 4-6 hrs.

Tate is having a relapse of potty training. He was doing so good. Now all of a sudden he has wet the bed the past 3 nights. Don't know what caused it. But he went to bed tonight with a pull-up on. He didn't like the idea. So I told him when he is staying dry again he doesn't have to wear them. We'll see if it works.

Don't forget about the Benefit in Mills on Sun. We are doing it at the church. It will be a busy day. Jamie is also having Brenden Baptised that day as well.

Hope everyone is doing good.

Jen

Wednesday, October 10, 2001 at 11:03 PM (CDT)
Hello,

Things here are slowly getting better. Chad feels better today than he has in a long time. Still not great and able to go back to work, but better than he has.

Dad stayed the night last night and put in a new water softner for us. The other one was making some really strange noises and I could have swore it was going to escape from the basement one night. He is staying again tonight and then will go home tomarrow morning.

Hope things are going good for you guys.

Jen

Tuesday, October 09, 2001 at 10:08 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Just wanted to drop a note before I went to bed. Chad had a fairly good day. We didn't know how it was going to start. He woke up with a fever this morning. We thought maybe they would keep him went he went in for his shot. But they didn't And he came home and went to bed. My Dad showed up this afternoon with a deck for us for the front slidding glass door. It's not new, but will work till we can get our "dream" deck. The old steps needed to be replaced. They were rotting away and getting pretty nasty. Tonight we had a few guys from BCC over to help put it in place. We had more than enough guys to help. It's great to know we have help when we need it. We had a campfire and burned the big pile of brush in the backyard at the same time. It was just a great evening to do it. The weather was great. And I think it did Chad good to be outside and enjoying himself with his friends.

Take care

Jen

Monday, October 08, 2001 at 09:44 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Chad had his blood test today. His WBC is now up to 1.4. Not great, but not bad. His HG is what was a little low. And that is what controls his energy. So that explains why he is feeling so crudy. He also is getting some nasty mouth sores. He's gotten a couple on his lips and looks like I've beat the daylights out of him.

He stayed home from work today. He is starting to research some of the off the wall things he's been handed. Most of them state that they help boost the immune system. Which would also be a good thing for him. That would help is counts recover faster. So at least I have him looking at them now.

I took the kids to daycare today and then went to work myself. Tonight I picked them up and then got a babysitter to come over for a couple hours so Chad and I could have some "couple" time alone. It was a much needed break. We went out for supper at Gangelhoff's here in town. There was only one other couple in there. It was really nice to be able to just sit back and enjoy our supper and talk to each other like human beings.

Hope Everyone had a good day!!!

Jen

Sunday, October 07, 2001 at 08:18 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are the same to worse. Chad is still feeling very icky. He gets light headed and dizzy when he stands up, and is getting more and more acky in his bones. The kids and I went over to Ann and Alan's house today for Adam's Birthday. Chad wanted to go in the worst way, but was just feeling to ishy. So he stayed home and rested and watched the vikings lose.

Mentally things are getting a little more challenging. The responsibility for me has doubled in the last 2 weeks. I handeled it good for those 2 weeks, but it's starting to show. I'm glad I can at least realize when I'm getting this way. I've noticed my temper is getting short. Chad is getting the same way. He's tired of not feeling good. And also starting to get that whole cooped up feeling. He wants to get back to work and back to normal. His temper is also getting short. We've just got to slow down and deal with it. We both realize it's going to get worse before it gets better.

Take Care everyone,

Jen

Saturday, October 06, 2001 at 9:55PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone,

Chad went to work again today. He didn't make it long though. He was home by 2. And tonight he was feeling really crappy and wore out. I am hopeing he's not coming down with something. He kind of looked like he does when he is catching a cold.

Just wanted to let you all know that the webcam is now listed under a private addy. So you have to have the addy to access it. You can also acess it by clicking on the link at the bottom of this page. I am going to try and keep it on more often now that it's a private addy. Who knows where is will be. It is a cordless so I can move it around. Mostly though it is in the sitting room.

take care

Jen

Friday, October 05, 2001 at 08:54 PM (CDT)
Well my perswading didn't work today. Chad went to work. He worked from 3-6. He got up this morning and had desided he was going in. He took at nap from 10-2 and then got up and went in. At least he took the nap before he went. I still am very nervous about him going to work. Not knowing what his WBC is. And there is so many colds and flus floating around right now. Oh well... guess you just can't keep a good man down. At least not over 2 weeks. LOL.

I had to go get a lock for the gate on the fence. Since my Dad put up a swingset for Tate, I have had every neighbor kid and there friends over. So I put a lock on the gate today so they can't just help themselves to it anymore. I wouldn't mind it, but they just don't care about other peoples things or if they get broke. I can't count how many toys of Tate's they have broke this summer. And I don't want anything happening to the swingset. One of the little girls already desided it needed some color and painted the knots in the wood a nice pretty pink with fingernail polish.

Hope everything is going good on your end.

Jen

P.S. For those of you that leave msgs or read them. There is a post from Sarah & Richard Spencer... Richard was diagnosed with DSRCT several years ago and is one of the 3 survivors we have found via the net. We are now using the same drugs they used on him. So everyone cross your fingers and say a prayer. :)

Thursday, October 04, 2001 at 09:51 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things here are the same. Chad was tired again today. He did manage to take care of the kids tonight though while I was at work.

I am really hopeing he won't go back to work till after mon. when he has his next blood test. I just don't like the idea of not knowing what his WBC is. So far he is agreeing with me. At the beginning of the week he was saying he was going back at the end of the week.

Tate and Kiah are doing great. Tate's rash has cleared up, and Kiah is trying very hard to get around. She gets frustrated with herself when she can't move. But she loves the fact that she can now sit up and play with toys.

Tate is becomming very needy of Daddy. He has to be wherever Chad is. I'm hopeing it's just a phase. I know boys go threw phases where they like Daddy or Mommy better. He is definetly in a Daddy stage. Which has been a little hard on Chad. Even little things Tate will ask for Daddy to help him. And there's been times when I have seen Chad just sigh a deep breath and get up to help him. Just because Chad is so fatigued already and then having to help Tate with everything.

Take Care

Jen

Wednesday, October 03, 2001 at 11:02 PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone,

Chad was still feeling pretty tired today. He did manage to take care of the kids while I did my show. And what a show it was!!! My best yet!!! highest sales and we had the most fun. It was a great time. Whoever said work had to be work? I love making my own hours and doing things on my own time instead of someone else telling me when to be a work and for how long and what to do. Not to mention all the products I get!!! heheheheeeeee

Take Care everyone

Jen

Tuesday, October 02, 2001 at 09:05 PM (CDT)
Hi Guys,

Today Tate, Kiah, and I went to Fergus to see Brenden. He's such a sweetie. It's hard to beleive Kiah was once that small only 6 months ago. She seemed so big next to him. It's amazing how fast they grow.

Chad stayed home and rested. He is feeling pretty lousy. He says everytime he gets up from sitting he gets light headed and dizzy. Not to mention just plain tired and wore out. By 5 at night he is wiped.

I have been joking with him and saying I'm glad your sick cause that means it's working. The other treatments he's had he has had so few side effects and they haven't worked that it can only mean that if he is getting them that it is... Right??? At least that has been my reasoning.

I have a Pampered Chef show tomarrow night. I am hopeing Chad is going to be able to handle it on his own with the kids for a couple hours. He has people he can call on if not. The gal said she is expecting 20 people, so it should be a good show. It's a friend of ours and also works with Chad. I'll let ya know how it goes tomarrow.

Take Care everyone

Jen

Monday, October 01, 2001 at 07:35 PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone,

Chad is really tired today. He had to go in for his shot and to do his weekly blood test. He wasn't home long when they called and told him his WBC(white blood count) was .4. VERY LOW!!! So he didn't do much today besides sleep. Which is good, he needs it.

I am taking the kids and going to Fergus tomarrow to see Jamie's baby. We have desided that it would be better for Chad to stay home because of his count being so low. We can't risk him getting sick.

Take Care

Jen

Sunday, September 30, 2001 at 08:19 PM (CDT)
HOW BOUT THEM VIKINGS!!!

ok ok ok... I know there 1-2, but hay ya gotta hope. LOL.

Things here are going ok. Chad's not getting sick, just very tired. He had to go into the ER yesterday and today for his shot. Tomarrow he can go back to the clinic. But with the clinic not open on weekends, they make him go to the ER to get it. He says his mouth is getting better. For the past few days he can drink and eat, but his tounge and lips were numb. And it was sore when he swallowed. He said it actually hurt less when he ate something and more when he was just drinking. He wore himsef out today. He got up this morning and went in for his shot so he would be home for the game. Then he watched the game. By the time that was over he was feeling really wore out and saying he should have taken a nap before the game. He still hasn't napped and is at the moment laying on the couch with Tate watching a movie.

He slept so much yesterday that he had a rough time sleeping last night. So he said he wants to try and stay up during the day so he can sleep at night. I told him there was nothing wrong with taking a nap during the day.

Tate's rash is slowly getting better. It's definetly still there, but not quite as red. He had a fun couple days with Heather here. She was here yesterday and today so that Chad could rest and not worry about the kids.

Kiah has learned to jump in her exersaucer. She can make quite the racquet when she wants to now. She also started saying dada a couple days ago. I told her she had to stop it and say mama first!!! She also is offically sitting by herself. But she has learned it's not cool to throw yourself back to lay down! After a couple bumps on the back of the head she now will flaten herself out forward almost like shes rolled up in a ball and then roll over to lay down when she wants to.

Take care everyone,

Jen

Friday, September 28, 2001 at 10:07 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things started to hit Chad a little more today. He was just really tired and complained of his jaw aching. He rested most of the day except to go to the clinic for his shot and to play with Tate a little tonight. He still isn't feeling sick at all. Just getting more and more tired. I have Heather coming over tomarrow and Sun to help with the kids while I am at work. That way if he wants to rest he doesn't have to worry about the kids at all. I even told him I would take the TV and VCR from the sitting room and put it in the bedroom for him if he wanted. But he said no he's not that sick.

Tate's rash is still there. It doesn't seem to both him much though. He rubs at his neck every so often.

And the good news of the day... Jamie(my sister) had a baby boy tonight. My Dad called me and said his name is either Brendan or Brandon he couldn't remember because he was so excited about the middle name which is Lon. He was 8lbs something. He couldn't remember that either. LOL. But baby and mom are doing fine. She had to have a c-section because she wasn't progressing.

CONGRATS JAMIE AND TRAVIS!!!!

have a good evening everyone!!!

Jen

Thursday, September 27, 2001 at 09:32 PM (CDT)
Hello,

So far so good. Chad is feeling good. He has been a little more tired, but he's not been sick at all. He had to go into the clinic today for his first shot to help his counts.

Tate also went to the docs today. He was diagnosed with Slap Cheek. It's a rash that has formed on his neck, face, waistline, and thigh. It was contagious... but before he broke out. So that means he got it probably either sat night or sun. I sure hope he hasn't given it to anyone else.

Take care everyone

Jen

Tuesday, September 25, 2001 at 01:05 PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone,

Just to update you on Chad. He is doing good. He's been tired this morning and sleeping alot, but is feeling good. They will give him another dose today and tomarrow before we leave the hospital. The drugs they are using on him are Vincristine, Adriamycin, and Cyclophosphamide. Then he will be getting daily shots after we get home of another drug to get his counts up faster.

Kiah has once again won over the nurses. The minute they saw her they were saying "There's our baby." I am staying at the Scandia in roon 221.

Just to let you all know the benefit went GREAT on sat. They managed to raise $5000. I can't beleive how lucky we are to have such wonderfull friends and family. We wouldn't be able to go threw this without all of you. Thank you to each and every one of you.

Thank you again and Take care.

Jen

Monday, September 24, 2001 at 08:13 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Today was a long day.We had to be here at 10, but he didn't get his chemo till 5 tonight. They had to do an echo on his heart for a baseline. One of the drugs he is going to be on can affect his heart and they wanted that before they did anything else.

He is taking the chemo ok. The second one they gave him make him feel a lil sicky to start with, but he was ok.

They keep stressing to us that this IS going to knock him for a loop and that he IS going to get more woreout and tired. They are actually saing he will feel the worst 7-10 days after the chemo.

Also he will probably NOT be getting out tomarrow. He will be here till wed because it took them so long to get going today.

Hope all is good with all of you.

Jen

Friday, September 21, 2001 at 09:44 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

We are headed to Fargo in the morning. I probably won't be able to update this till Mon. in the hospital.

I heard today there is over 65 items now for the silent auction!!! Will let you all know how it went Mon.

We also got a new cell phone today that we will be making all our long distance calls from. We will actually be paing less than using AT&T. And it's a digital so we will also be able to use it in Fargo without paing the roaming charges. Feel free to give us a call on it if you can't get ahold of us otherwise. 218-556-0100.

Take Care

Jen

Thursday, September 20, 2001 at 09:43 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Well the news we have been waiting for... No change. Nothing at all. It didn't skrink this time like it has the others. But it also didn't grow. We have desided to try one last thing. It's called VAC. It's 3 different chemos done in the hospital in Fargo. We will try that and if that doesn't work the Doc. was then talking about surgery. We just have to wait and see what this result brings. This is the same drugs they used on the guy from London that beat it. So everyone hope and pray the same goes for Chad. He will be admitted on Mon. for the start of the Chemo. I will be there with him. They are saing he will probably get sick again like he did with the very first Chemo he had. He only got sick once with that one, but he couldn't eat anything for 4 days. All we can do is wait and see.

Other than that everything is going good. Tate is going to go to my Mom and Dad's for Mon. and Tue. We will pick him up on Tue. on our way home. I will have Kiah with me at the hospital. The nurses love her and she is so good I have no problems bringing her up there. Chad and I will probably stay at Roy's Sun. night and then I will probably be there Mon. night.

Don't forget the Benefit on Sat. night at the Speedway in West Fargo. I have heard they have over 50 items for the silent auction plus the raffle. Not to mention all the wonderfull food. Please feel free to join us from 5:30-7:30 for dinner and afterwards for the dance.

Take Care everyone

Jen

Wednesday, September 19, 2001 at 09:04 PM (CDT)
Hi everyone,

Chad didn't have his appt. today. The doc got fogged in, in Fargo. So he will be here tomarrow. We meet with the doc at 2. Will let you know how things went.

Chad was feeling really good today. He went golfing tonight. I'm glad to see he was able to get out one more time before it gets to cold.

Take Care

Jen

Tuesday, September 18, 2001 at 04:36 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Just to let you all know I made a boo boo. The benefit is SAT. not sun. from 5:30-7:30 with a dance to follow.

Also check out the new pics. I put some pics up there from the cruise.

I will update you all tomarrow night about the results of his CT scan.

Take Care

Jen

Monday, September 17, 2001 at 10:53 PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone,

Things here are good. Chad got his CT scan today. So now we wait till wed to find out the results. We meet with the doc at 4:30. The kids went to a friends today for daycare. Emma called me yesterday and said she needed to take today off. Tate got to play with another little boy who is only 2 weeks older than him. He had a ball. Kiah was good to. Amy said she held her all day.

Just to update you all on this weekend. The benefit is at the Speedway in West Fargo on Sun. If I remember right they are serving supper from 4:30-7:30. Mom also has 2 other benefits in the planning. One in Mills on the 14th and one in Fergus on the 20th of Oct. Will post more about them later.

Take care

Jen

Sunday, September 16, 2001 at 07:41 AM (CDT)
Good Morning everyone,

We went over to Ann and Alan's last night and made horseradish. It was fun to get together with old friends. The kids played good and Tate had a great time.

Headed to church here soon. Tate starts Sunday School today. He's been begging to get to go to school. It's funny how at age 3 they WANT to go and at 13 they don't. LOL.

Take care.

Jen

Friday, September 14, 2001 at 08:29 PM (CDT)
Hello,

Things are going good here. I think Chad still thinks he's on vacation. Tonight after supper he had to go outside to take the garbage out. While he was out there Tate desided he wanted to take a bath. And then I had Kiah screaming at the top of her lungs mad because I wasn't feeding her. So I look out the door and there stands Chad all relaxed and smoking. I looked at him and said "Nice to see your enjoying yourself!" LOL Needless to say he did finally come in and help me out.

Kiah is finally to the sitting up stage. I have a bath chair I got when Tate was little, so I put her in it in the tub with Tate tonight. She thought it was so cool she could play with the bubbles. Tate thought it was pretty neat to that he was taking a bath with his sister. He kept looking at her and saing "Your nakid baby Kiah." And then he would laugh, which would get her laughing.

Just to update everyone... Chad has his CT Scan Mon at 9:30 and then we will see the doc on Wed at 4:30. I got 3 phone calls tonight wondering how his ct scan went. LOL. You guys should know by now I would have posted it here.LOL

Talk to you all soon.

Jen

Wednesday, September 12, 2001 at 09:01 PM (CDT)
Good Evening,

Things here are going great. Chad is feeling better. The sores are healing and not giving him as much of a problem. Tate is very happy to have his Daddy home. We said our prayers tonight and I asked him what we pray for. He looked at me and said "I don't know". I said we have to pray for Daddy's tummy to get better. He looked at me and said "No Mommy, Daddy's tummy IS better". LOL It was so cute. He thinks now that Daddy is home he is all better. But then he did add a little prayer on his own for his lil sister saing "Make her grow up big and strong like me". LOL. Got to love him.

Take care everyone.

Jen

Monday, September 10, 2001 at 08:02 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Things are going good. Chad got out of the hospital Sat. He went back to Bemidji for his fantasy football draft Sat night. And then drove down to Dalton on Sun to the threashing show. Things went good at the show. It was the year for things to go wrong though. On Fri Roy had to get a piece welded back together. On Sat we got steam up and all of a sudden I heard a POP. One of the hand holes had lost it's seal and so we had to shut it down and fix that. So Sun we FINALLY got to run the engine. But this is the first year in the 10 that I can remember us not running in one of the parades. So hopefully we got all the kinks out and it will be another 10 years before it happens again... Ya right(here's to hopefull wishing).

On Wed when we got to the hospital Tate turned into a different kid. He went from a whiny, cring, fussy kid to a happy, cheerful, carefree kid. He was SOOOOO happy to see his Daddy. We spent Wed. night at Roy's and then went back up to the hospital on Thur and spent the day. By 4 on Thur though Tate was about ready to drive the whole 7th floor crazy so Chad and I desided it was time to go. The kids and I went down to our family's lake home and spent the weekend there. It was great to just be with the kids and be able to enjoy ourselves. It rained all day Fri, so we didn't get to do much. And then Sat and Sun were spent on the grounds. C.J. was also with us. She has a love hate relationship with the neighbor at the lake. He hates dogs, and she can't understand why he doesn't want her to pee on his lawn. So I kept a very close eye on her and kept her off his lawn all weekend.

Chad and I went back to work today. After 3 weeks off it was actually kind of nice to get back. We should have some kind of "normalicy" to our lives for the next week and a half. Mon. Chad goes in for his next CT scan and then on Wed we will find out if our week long trips to Fargo paid off or not. Of course we hope it works, But in a way we almost hate for it to. 5 days in the hospital every other week would not be fun. But I guess whatever it takes.

He also has had a few side effects. He has some pretty bad mouth sores. And they have spread to the inside of his eyes. So he is in a lil pain, but hopefully they will heal up soon.

Well I have wrote a book tonight so I guess I will go. Take Care everyone.

Jen

Wednesday, September 05, 2001 at 02:05 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Just to update you all, Chad is doing fine. They didn't give him his Chemo till 5 last night. But he didn't feel sick at all this time.

Now on the other hand... Tate is very worried and sick for his daddy. He cried today for 2 hrs wanting to see his daddy. He really hasn't seen him for 2 1/2 weeks. He saw him for about 4 hrs on mon and that was it. So I made arrangements and we are headed up to the hospital tonight to see him. We will stay at Roy's tonight and maybe tomarrow night and then go down to the lake and be there till sun. That way if I need to I can take Tate back up to see Chad easily. And then we will also be around for Threashing in Dalton.

Talk to you all soon

Jen

Monday, September 03, 2001 at 03:26 PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone,

We are home. Got home about 11:30 today. We went and got the kids from Ann and Alan's. Tate didn't want to come home. You would think a week without mom and 2 without dad he would want to come and spend some time with us. NOPE!!! He was having to much fun with Adam and Siri.

We had a good flight home. And are ready to go back for another week!!! LOL. We were tring to figure out a way to get back on the ship while watching all the new "cruiser's" get off their planes and head over to the gal to take them off to the ship.

Chad will be back in fargo tomarrow. He has to be there at 12 for lab and 1 to meet with the doc. He wanted to be there early to get his chemo started, but I don't know what's going on with that. Will find out more tomarrow.

This weekend is Threashing. I will be there Fri, Sat, Sun. Chad will join us after he gets out of the hospital, whichever day that may be.

Talk to you all soon.

Jen

P.S. Cookbooks are in!!! I am going to sort threw them tonight and try and get as many out this weekend as I can. Leave me a note and we will figure out a way to get them to you. PAULA(A FRIEND OF CHAD'S MOM) WAS THE WINNER SELLING 50 COOKBOOKS!!! WAY TO GO!!! PAULA WON THE NEW TRADITIONS DEEP DISH BAKER. It is a new product that just came out this spring. CONGRATS!!!

Friday, August 31, 2001 at 10:48 PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone,

Yesterday was a great time. I had the room decorated for Chad's Birthday. I pooped out on him though at 10:30. But he had a great time without me and didn't make it back to the room till 3 am. Needless to say I think I was lucky he could find the room!!! We went deep sea fishing and Chad caught the only fish of the day. He caught a 10 lb. Baracuda. GOt a pic and will update the page with it when we get home. Today we went on a old pirate ship party boat. It was a fun time and free alcohol. Tonight we are up to see the midnight buffet. THey do a last HUGE buffet of desserts and breads and ice sculptures. Very pretty. See you all very soon... Chad HAS to see how's those VIKINGS DID!!!!

Love ya all!!!!

Jen

Wednesday, August 29, 2001 at 01:11 PM (CDT)
Hello everyone,

We are in Antigua today. We had a wonderfull time snorkeling yesterday.We went on a 4x4 tour this moring which was alot of fun.

Going deep sea fishing tomarrow, and on a pirate party boat on fri. Sat we are at sea all day and sun fly home.

It's great and VERY HOT. But we are surviving.

Please leave a msg on the guestbook to let us know if you are checking these while we are on the cruise. We will probably update one more time before we get home. We found this place in a lil bar on antigua and it was cheaper than the boat so figured we wound update.

See you all soon!!!!!!!

JEN

Tuesday, August 28, 2001 at 11:10 AM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

THINGS ARE GREAT!!! haven't been sea sick yet!!! We are in St. Maarten today. Going snorkeling in 1/2 hr. Yesterday we went on a party barge. Had free drinks and a great time. It's expensive to update this, so will probably only do it one more time before we get home.

The ocean is gorgeous. The blue is just like you would see in the pictures. Feel like we are on a island from Gillagan's Island.

Love you all and will see you all soon.

Take care!!!!!

Jen

Tuesday, August 28, 2001 at 11:10 AM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

THINGS ARE GREAT!!! haven't been sea sick yet!!! We are in St. Maarten today. Going snorkeling in 1/2 hr. Yesterday we went on a party barge. Had free drinks and a great time. It's expensive to update this, so will probably only do it one more time before we get home.

The ocean is gorgeous. The blue is just like you would see in the pictures. Feel like we are on a island from Gillagan's Island.

Love you all and will see you all soon.

Take care!!!!!

Jen

Saturday, August 25, 2001 at 07:33 AM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

I'm at home. And was just reading threw the material they gave us about the boat. It sounds like I will be able to update this from the boat as well. So any of you wonderng what we are doing from one day to the next, Check it out and I wil try and keep it updated.

Chad was doing great last night when I talked to him. He said he was going to have a party and it was "Bring your own IV!" So he sounds like he's still in great spirits. My mom is going to go pick him up this moring and bring him back to her house. That way it will be less driving for me.

I came home yesterday. It was good to sleep in my own bed if only for one night. I think the kids enjoyed it as well. They are both still sleeping at the moment. I packed both kids last night and Chad. I am still packing myself and tring to think of all the stuff we will need and tring to to forget anything.

Will update you as soon as I can.

Jen

Friday, August 24, 2001 at 09:11 AM (CDT)
UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!! UPDATE!!!

Chad's NOT going home today. Doc just came up and said that the level is still to high. I am going to go to the house today though and take Tate, Kiah, and CJ home and to Ann and Alan's tomarrow. Then I will come back here tomarrow and pick up Chad and off to the cities we will go.

We were excited about going home today, so this was a real blow to Chad. Now I have to pack all his clothes for the trip. I dont think he really trusts me to do that LOL.

Oh well... Things don't always go as planned.

Jen

Friday, August 24, 2001 at 08:00 AM (CDT)
Just got the ok to go home. We are waiting on the doc to come up and discharge him. We also found out we will be back up on Sept. 4,5,6, maybe 7th.

I fell with Kiah this morning walking over from Scandia. She seems ok. I took most of the fall, but I know she did hit her head a little bit. Gonna keep a close eye on her.

Will keep you all updated.

Jen

Thursday, August 23, 2001 at 01:13 PM (CDT)
Hello,

Just to update. Chad will more than likely be going home tomarrow. There is a slim chance of Sat. Again just depends on how fast that drug comes out of his system. So I have been making him drink his water. The more he drinks the more he will pee, the faster it will come out, LOL. So I say anyways LOL.

Kiah has managed to win over the whole nurseing staff. They are all taking turns with her, and loving her up.

Mom is going to bring Tate up tomarrow morning about 11. And then when Chad is released we will go back to Bemidji to pack for the cruise.

Will update again soon

Jen

Wednesday, August 22, 2001 at 05:44 PM (CDT)
Hi,
Chad's doing great. They gave him his rescue drug and he has had no side effects. He brought up his play station and has been playing that to keep himself occupied along with Pam and John. They have been here since about 2:30 this afternoon. Now it's just a waiting game to see how long it takes to get out of his system. We were hopeing the doc would come up tonight, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen.

I am going to go out to supper with Roy tonight. And then we will come up and visit with Chad somemore. We already have direct orders from Chad to bring him "some real food". So we will have to bring him back something.

He got a roommate this afternoon. He's an older guy who doesn't have cancer. This floor is sposse to be cancer only, so I am guessing the hospital must be pretty full.

I am staying over at Scandia in room 201. And just to recap, Chad is in room 759.

Will update again as soon as we find more out.

Jen

Wednesday, August 22, 2001 at 09:05 AM (CDT)
Hi Everyone,

Just to update you, Chad's PH was a little high so they are giving him a drug to lower it. They are also saing that we may not be home tomarrow. The drug they gave him yesterday has to be completely out of his system before we can go home. And depending on how long that takes is how long we will be here. The good news is that usually the first couple times that seems to go faster. Some people have been up here 5 days waiting for it to get out of there system. We should know more by this afternoon. I'll keep you all updated.

Take care

Jen

Tuesday, August 21, 2001 at 06:07 PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone,

Just to update you all... We didn't get to Fargo till 11:30 today. They started his Chemo at 4. He got sick feeling for about 5 min. and then it was over and he's feeling good now. He will get this over a 4 hr period and then tomarrow moring they will test his blood to see how much of the rescue drug they need to use to get it out of his system. Kiah is getting more than her share of attention with all the nurses up here.

Things are good here though so far.

I'll keep you all up to date. He is in room 759. He is on the list for a private room. But for right now is in a room by himself with an empty bed.

Take care,

Jen

Sunday, August 19, 2001 at 07:29 PM (CDT)
Greetings!!!

How is everyone tonight? Things here are great. The weekend was a BLAST! Chad didn't get to sleep till 4 last night!!! I tell ya that sis and him get along WAY to well. :) The birthday party went awesome. There was over 70 people there and we all had a great time. It was great to see everyone come up. What would life be without family? I couldn't even imagine. The benefit today was a HUGE success. We had more than enough food(gonna be eating meatballs for the rest of the summer!). And we made more than we ever imagined we would. Ann and I were both in tears when we found out the final amount. It's great to know that you live in a community where they all care and everyone is willing to help out a person in need.

And those of you that went CRAZY on the cookbooks. To all of you I owe a HUGE thank you. You guys were great!!! We sold over 200 cookbooks!!! I'm not sure who it was that sold the most, but as soon as I figure it out I will post it here. Also to those of you who did sell them. Please tell the people if they ask they probably won't be getting the books till the middle of Sept. The reasoning is that Chad has chemo this week in fargo. Next week is the cruise. And the week after that we will be back in fargo for another chemo treatment. I will probably only be home for a total of 3-4 days in the next 3 weeks!!! But I will get them out to you as soon as I can!!! I PROMISE!!!

Also to all you candle lovers out there... Missy(Chad's sister) is selling candles threw Home & Garden for Chad. I just found this out this weekend. If any of you are interested in getting a candle or two let me know and I will send you her email.

Again keep in mind that we will be in Fargo Tue, Wed, Thur of this week. Any of you in the are are more than welcome to stop in and visit. Just make your way to 7th floor and ask for Chad's room. We will once again be in the penthouse as the hospital calls it(top floor). I will have Kiah with us. Tate is spending a day or two with my sister and then another day or two with my mom and dad. But as Chad has learned already, being in the hospital for more than a day is no fun yet alone three days. I am going to try and get a room over at the Scandia Hotel attached to the hospital. If that doesn't work out I will probably be staying at Roy's(Chad's Dad). Check back to this site often. I can update it from the hospital, so I will keep you all up to date on what is going on threw this site.

Well I better go, I have wrote a book tonight. Take care everyone and it was WONDERFULL to see you all again.

Jen

P.S. To all you lurkers out there in cyber land. You know who you are. Those of you that are checking this site and not leaving us a msg... Don't make me come after you. :) Leave us a msg. It's the only way we know who has been here. Besides that I can check the number of hits and see that 75 people have checked it, but only 2 poeple signed it!!!! Shame, Shame!!!! I won't bite if you leave a msg... but I might if you don't!!!! :)

Thursday, August 16, 2001 at 08:53 PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone,

Things are good today. I have a nasty cold, but am hopeing to kick it before the weekend. I went home early from work. Had the house kind of to myself tonight. Chad and Tate went down to the Viking game. I'm glad Chad could take tater to his first game. Not that Tate will remember it, but it will always be a good memory for Chad. He was sposse to have gone with John a good friend of his, but things changed. So he took Tyler. Tyler is part of the wonderfull Sand's family(our neighbors). They have been a HUGE blessing ever since we moved into our house, but more so in the past 2 months while Chad has been sick. If we have needed a sitter, Heather, Melinda, or Tyler they have been RIGHT there. And Tyler has been over and mowed the lawn as well. And we can't forget Larry and Brenda, the kid's wonderfull parents. I hope that Chad and I can raise as wonderfull kids as they have.

You all are welcome to come up early on Sat if you want and come to the house. We have brats to put on the grill, and chips and pop. Don't feel like you need to stay at the hotel until 7. Please come join us here. The hotel has a hot tub, but no pool.

On Sun Chad and I will be going to the 8:30 service. You guys are more than welcome to join us or there is another service at 10:30. Or for those of you that stay out to late on Sat are more than welcome to just join us at 11:30 as well. The 8:30 service is a contempary service. The 10:30 one is traditional.

Can't think of anything else, see you all this weekend.

Jen

Wednesday, August 15, 2001 at 11:09 AM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Just got back from the doctor's. The drugs they have had him on the last 4 weeks has worked, but once again not as much as he would have liked. As he put it "we have hit a first base run, but we want a homerun". So they are once again going to change things. We will be in Fargo on Tue, Wed, Thur, of next week and will be doing a new chemo treatment. He will be getting a high dose of Methotrezate with a Leucovorin rescue. This treatment is mostly used in bone cancer treatments. THe doc says it kills off the folic acid, which the tumor needs to survive. And then they do the rescue 24 hours later and put the folic acid back into the body. He will have one treatment of this and then alother one after we get back from our cruise.

For those of you comming to the benefit on Sun it is at Bethel Lutheran Church in Bemidji. It is from 11:30-2:30. Bethel is located on Irvine ave north of town about 2 miles. Hope to see you all soon.

Chad had a fever last night and went into the ER. Things are good now. His white blood count was up to a 5.2. Which is awesome to see. But he was feeling great today.

Take care everyone.

Jen

Tuesday, August 14, 2001 at 01:38 PM (CDT)
The cold has officially hit our house. Kiah had it last week. Tate has had it over the weekend and threw today. And today now I came down with it.

We are hopeing Chad won't get it. He went to work this morning and came home for lunch. He has stayed home though and is taking a nap right now. He said his tummy was feeling funky. But I don't think that's from the cold, I think that must be his meds. Our tummy's have been fine just headache, runny nose, slight cough, just not feeling quite right.

I have my first Pampered Chef show tonight, since Chad was diagnosed. I am excited about it and hope it goes great. I really love selling it. It's alot of fun. Who said work had to be work???

Talk to you all soon

Jen

Sunday, August 12, 2001 at 08:26 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Just a short update. We went to church today and made meatballs, and meatballs, and more meatballs. I now know what it's like to try and feed an army... Literally.

Things here are good though. Chad's feeling good and is as positive as always. Tate and I went over to the neighbors tonight and I am learning to ride horse. They have a 2 yr old horse that is still learning the ropes of being a riding horse. So needless to say... me who has only ever rode a horse 3 times in my life was riding a young horse still in training. We did ok and I didn't even fall off! Roy would have been proud of me(last time I rode his horse it wasn't a pretty site!). But my legs are officially JELLO tonight. But I keep riding him and I will have great legs!!!! LOL

Talk to you all later.

Jen

Saturday, August 11, 2001 at 08:55 PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone.

First of all the big news!!! OUR EMAIL IS WORKING AGAIN!!!! heheheheeeee

Chad is doing good today. Was very excited about the first Viking game tonight. Just waiting on Wed when we find out the news on his CT scan.

Tomarrow after church we will be rolling meatballs untill we are silly. We have 180 lbs of burger to make up. I told everyone "Oh darn, I have to work at 12." heheheheeee. But will be able to make my share from 9:30 till then.

See you all soon.

Jen

Friday, August 10, 2001 at 09:31 PM (CDT)
Hi Guys,

Chad was feeling ok today. He did go to work and spent the whole day there. But when he did get home he was really tired and feeling sicky.

He went and took a nap while I experimented. I made a new Pampered Chef recipe that I needed to practice before I do it at the show I have on Tue night. It was really good. It's called BBQ Beef Bundles.

One of the guys from BCC came over today as well and cut up the trees we had come down in the yard. It's great to know we have friends looking out for us.

Well I'm headed to bed now. I'll talk to you guys soon and remember OUR EMAIL IS NOT WORKING!!! Hopefully it will be up and running very soon. I'm going nuts without it. If you need to get ahold of us either call or post it in the msg board and we will get back to you.

Jen

{HUGS} to everyone.

Thursday, August 09, 2001 at 11:01 PM (CDT)
Hello Everyone,

Chad's doing good. He was still tired today and stayed home from work. He was able to take a long nap this afternoon before having to go pick the kids up at daycare.

We had a nasty storm roll threw last night. I'm still not sure how I slept threw it. Winds up to 100 MPH. We have 3 trees down in the yard. Thank goodness it wasn't any of the big pines behind the house. I am always afraid of one of those darn things coming down on the house. A friend of mine had to cut 16 trees out of her way to get out of her driveway this morning. So I guess we should be lucky it wasn't any worse. Being a mother is a weird thing sometimes though. I didn't hear that storm roll threw, but yet at 4:30 with Kiah gave out a lil yell I flew out of bed. I guess you just learn to listen for certain things.

Hope everyone's day went good. Talk to you all soon.

Jen

P.S. OUR EMAIL IS NOT WORKING AT THE MOMENT. PLEASE POST A MSG ON THE BOARD IF YOU NEED TO TELL US SOMETHING. I WILL BE CHECKING IT OFTEN. THANKS

Wednesday, August 08, 2001 at 02:36 PM (CDT)
How's everyone today?

Things here are good. Chad DID get Chemo today. His white count was up to 3.3, which is GREAT to see. They put him back on the Hyrdo(Chemo) pills he was taking. Fri he has his CT scan and we meet with the doctor next wed at 9:30. Hopefully we will hear good news.

We are getting excited about our cruise coming up. FOr those of you that don't know. BCC(Bemidji Chrysler Center) all went together and bought us a cruise to the south carribean. We leave for it on August 26th and will get back home labor day.

For those of you wanting to check us out... Don't forget about the web cam. THere is a link at the bottom of this page to click on that will bring you right to the page.

Please remember to sign the guestbook and let me know you guys are using this. It's a great way for us all to keep in touch with each other.

Jen

P.S. see most of you in a couple weeks.

Monday, August 06, 2001 at 06:05 PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone!!!

Things are going good. Big news!!! Yesterday we went to the Derby. There were 3 guys in it. The one that had gotten 8th last week didn't make it to the finals. The other stock car did and won 2nd!!! AND the 3rd guy was in the compact size and he also won second!!! So a great big WAY TO GO to them all!!!

Being out in the 98 degree temps did not fair well for me though. I came down with the shakes and sicky feeling last night. Just to much heat for to long. We got there at 1:30 and were there till 9. By 8 my body was saying enough. I took Kiah and we went back to the car and sat threw the last final heat. I feel better today, just a lil tired yet.

Something all you parents out there will appreciate...
Yesterday during the demo Tate was sitting behind us with some friends. Next thing I know she taps me on the shoulder and says "He's peeing!" I turn around and he is facing away from us with his wee wee pointed between the bleachers peeing down onto the ground below. I guess the good thing is he didn't do it in his pants!!! But it is something I will never forget.

Hope I gave you all a good laugh. Talk to you all soon.

Jen

Saturday, August 04, 2001 at 12:48 PM (CDT)
Everyone withstanding the heat???

Chad did go into work at 1 yesterday. He got home last night though and was very tired.

He went in today and I told him not to push himself and if he gets to tired, to come home. So far he hasn't. I took the kids into Target today and bought Tate a sprinkler and stopped by to see him on the way home. He was busy with customers, but seemed good.

We will be going to the Demo Derby in Bagley tomarrow. There are 2 guys from Bemidji Chrysler entered and they have desided that if they win any money they will donate it to us. They did it last week as well here in town. The one guy didn't make it to the finals and the other ended up in 8th place. We put the money into the fund. It was alot of fun to watch them and am looking forward to doing it again tomarrow.

Take Care and see you all soon.

Jen

Friday, August 03, 2001 at 12:47 PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone,

Just to update you all, Chad is still home today from work. He is napping right now and asked me to wake him at 1. He has talked about going in to work this afternoon for a while. I'm glad to see he's not pushing himself. But it also shows that the nurse was right and that each chemo session is going to wear a little bit more on him. He has been back to work by now otherwise.

Take care and hope to see you all soon.

Jen

Wednesday, August 01, 2001 at 01:59 PM (CDT)
We just got back from Chad's chemo treatment. They just about didn't give it to him because his WBC(white blood count) was down to a 1.9. But he talked to the doctor and they desided to do it, but the doc told him to only take the hydro pills(chemo) till fri and then stop taking them. Hopefully this will keep his WBC up and he will be able to get treatment next wed. They also informed us that the chemo he is getting will continue to build up in his body possibly making him sicker and sicker each time.

Right now he is laying on the couch taking a nap, but other than the usual tiredness, feeling ok.

Sands(our neighbors) have been a god send threw all this. Their daughter Heather has been our main babysitter since Tate was born. She has come to watch the kids twice now in the 3 times he has had chemo. And today Tyler(her younger brother) came over and mowed the lawn while we were gone. It was wonderfull to pull in the driveway and see it was done and one less thing to worry about.

Things are coming along for the benefits. The one here in town on the 19th at the church, has a great group of people that are working on it mainly two close friends of ours Ann and Pam. And the one in Fargo on Sept. 22nd has the Tang family going full bore.

We don't know what we would do without all the help and prayers from everyone. There's not enough words of thanks to tell you all how greatful we are.

Please leave us a message in the guestbook. Ask us anything you're wondering about. Talk to you all soon.

Jen

P.S. Those of you coming for the birthday party it will be at T'Juans on the 18th at 7:00PM. I will send you all an email with a map of town so you know how to find it and the hotel.

Sunday, July 29, 2001 at 07:09 PM (CDT)
Hi Everyone,

We created this page for those of you wondering how Chad is doing. I get many phone calls all wondering about him. So I desided this would be one of the easier ways to keep you all up to date.

First of all as many of you know Chad was diagnosed with Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Tumor about a month ago. Since then he has undergone 3 surgery's and 3 chemo treatments.

The first Chemo treatment DID shrink the tumor a little, but not enough to warrant doing it again. So he has now had 2 other chemos where they are attacking the RNA in his cells instead of the DNA. What the RNA is is the protein in the cells. WHat they are hoping to do is to kill the protein in his cells and in doing so kill the tumor. It's like not giving a plant water. If you don't feed it, it dies.

It is a new process and has only been being done for about a yr. The doc we are dealing with at Roger Maris (Dr. Kobrinsky) has been doing this process with another gal who had a rare cancer and has officially cured her in 6 months time. We are hoping the same will be for Chad.

There are 3 different chemos that he is on. The first 2 are Asperinoginase and Actinomyain. These are both gave at the Clinic here in town once a week. The 3rd is Hydroxyurea. Which he takes daily in the form of pills. He has had 2 of these treatments so far and has responded very well from them. They make him tired and slightly sick, but not to the point that he is throwing up. He has been out of work for the day of treatment and the next day and been able to go back to work the following day. He will have 2 more of these treatments and then he is scheduled for a CT scan on the 10th of August. On the 15th we will meet with the doc and find out if this program is working and where we go from there.

I want to personally thank everyone for the WONDERFULL support we have been recieving. If it wasn't for all of you things wouldn't be nearly as easy as they have been. The prayers are wonderfull and I have to believe that God is listening and giving us the strength to get threw this.

Please leave us a message in the guestbook. Hope to see you all on the 18th and 19th for Chad's Birthday and Benefit.

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