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Carleton Peterson Special Days Without a Special Person ... Reflections from Evie
Journal
Friday, December 28, 2007 There are several special days that have come and gone within the past week, each with their own significance. As a family we thought it would be good to share them with our family and friends, in other words you!
First of all, last Friday, December 21, was Mom and Dad's 25th wedding anniversary. We didn't want the day and its importance to pass unnoticed, so we decided to gather as a family at Old Chicago for dinner. Typically, this would have been Mom and Dad's time to
go out and get away from the kids but this time Mom was stuck with all of us...which we believe she enjoyed. It was a good time to be together and each share memories of Mom and Dad's relationship and the impact their parenting has had on each of us. Overall, it was a wonderful time with much happiness and laughter but it was also bittersweet as we realized once again that we were all missing an important person...a husband, a father, and a grandfather. It was a day we felt we had to, and wanted to, acknowledge despite the grief that came with it.
The next big day was Christmas Eve. I will admit that when you are part of such a large family you can sometimes miss the fact that you are missing someone. However, throughout the day we were each reminded of Dad in some way and we really missed having him there. Before opening gifts we took some time to share our thoughts and feelings about life so far without Dad. There were several common themes that came about. First of all, for many of us we still think he is simply on vacation. We are just waiting for him to walk in the house and announce his return. In addition, many of us worry and feel sad more for each other than for ourselves. We also shared Christmas memories we have of Dad. One thing we will all remember is how excited he would be when opening a present from us. He would get this twinkle in his eye that made us all very curious about what he would unwrap or pull out of his stocking next. It didn't matter if it was some new and fancy gadget or a pack of gum, he acted as though it was just what he wanted.
After opening gifts, some of us went to an 11:00 pm Christmas Eve mass at a Catholic church down the street from our house. Pretty much every Christmas Eve, Dad has said, "Let's go to midnight mass!", and usually by 11 pm, we all agree that we are too tired, and it's too cold, to venture out. So, in honor of Dad, we decided to make a point of making the late night service part of our celebration this year.
Christmas Day had a similar feeling to it. We were reminded of his absence but were also able to enjoy time with our family. We went to an early afternoon movie...The Chipmunks Movie...since most of us felt we could only handle watching a comedy. Afterwards some of us enjoyed the snowy day by going sledding.
Overall, in the past couple weeks I have come to the realization that my dad has done a wonderful job of preparing me for life and now it is time for me to put those lessons into action. The little lessons I once shrugged off have become important as I hope to continue his legacy as well as create my own. My dad has provided me with such a strong foundation and luckily I still have my mom and siblings to help me along the way. This is a time of trying to find my way but also being willing to lean on or even collapse into the arms of family and friends.
Finally, I want to give my own thanks for all of you that attended the visitation, burial, or service for my Dad. It was wonderful to talk with or simply see so many of you as we celebrated the life of my dad and what a blessing he was to so many people. Thank you, thank you.
Blessings upon all of you,
Evie
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