Journal

Saturday, November 26, 2011 2:41 PM CST

Today marks 7 years since our little Car Car flew away to Heaven, into Jesus' arms... I can't believe 7 years? In many ways it still feels like maybe last year, or even just yesterday.

This year it is very different for me, As I am still trying to wrap my heart around the loss of my sweet father, Carl's Grandpa Bill. Dad passed away November 6th, just a week after we admitted him to the hospital for excessive fluid retention. His condition quickly worsened, and soon we were confronted with kindey failure, and rapid heart failure.

I am Blessed to have been with Dad nearly every moment his last week. I didn't want to leave his side, since it meant so much to me to be there with him when he would take his last breath. On May 15th 2010, just a year and a half ago, My Mom left us to walk through Heavens gate to be greeted by Carl. Dad was with her, as she took her last breath, which I was so grateful for him to be by her side then. I wanted to be there too, at least that was always in my plan, but God had another plan then too, and that moment was meant for Dad to be there with her only. I have never gotten over the pain of not being with Carl in his final moments on earth. I have come to accept over these years, that me being there was not in Gods plan at that time.

In my Blessed week of Dad's final time here on earth, we were able to talk, laugh, and cry together. He fully understood that he would be leaving us soon, and we had that chance of a lifetime, to communicate those important things that often we are left feeling empty, and unfulfilled, and cheated of. We talked about how wonderful it would be when he would walk through Heavens gates and be greeted by his parents, Mom, his siblings, and of course Carl! We must have asked him a dozen times to pick Carl up and give him big hugs from all of us! We talked about signs that Carl has given us, that we were sure it was him letting us know that he was visiting, and loved us! Dad said he would try to give us some signs too!

So this year it feels different, I know Carl has all of his grandparents with him now, he has his best friend Andrew, and the best part is how his Grandpa Bill recently came into his arms, straight from mine, and I believe Carl was right there present with us too, as Dad made that Beautiful transition! I can only imagine the Joy Dad felt, as he saw with his own eyes, his family waiting with outstreatched arms and huge smiles on their faces! I can just hear all their conversations, and sharing as they catch up on everyhting that has taken place both in Heaven, and here on earth since they were all together. It makes me miss them all very much, but I know with all my heart that they are in a better place, and if they had the choice, they would not choose to come back to their lives here, as it is so much Greater in their new home of paradise!!

As we shared the last few hours with Dad, we played some of his favorite music he had on cd...some polka's and waltz's, some of his brothers band, my Uncle Hank who played with a band called the Jerry Dostal Band many years ago. His brother Hank would also be there to welcome Dad! We played some Christmas music, as we knew Dad would not be here to share another Christmas holiday with us. Instead, Dad would share his very first Christmas holday with Jesus himself, and they will all feast together at the most Joyous table ever imaginable!!!

I miss my little Carl and will miss him until one day he is standing with open arms waiting to greet me in Heaven too!! But I feel more at ease than ever before, just knowing that our family is slowly gathering on the other side with Carl, and they are all Happier than ever! And now that Grandpa just joined that Glourious party up there, means that Carl has another piece of "Us" with him to celebrate this special time!!!

Wishing you all have had a Blessed Thanksgiving Holiday, and will welcome the Lord into your hearts this upcoming Holy Christmas Season

Thank you for checking in on this Special Anniversary! Thanks Ann for your email to let us know that you never forget!! You are so wonderful and we Love you so much!

God Bless

Kelly

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