History

Journal History

Wednesday February 20, 2002 9:46 PM CST

Here is a copy of the memorial Annabelle's Uncle Chris (my brother) wrote for Saturday's service.

God's Peace and Comfort,
Ellie & Mark

ANNABELLE
As I sat in my room reflecting on all that has happened over the past two months, I thought it would be appropriate to write down what Annabelle’s life has meant to me. I would like to take this opportunity to share with all of you what I wrote.

These past several weeks have been an amazing journey for me. During Annabelle’s short time with us on earth, she touched the lives of thousands of people. Though she couldn’t speak a word, it was immanent that her purpose here on earth was to be a missionary for Christ.

It is hard to understand why certain things happen the way they do. I can remember being so afraid as to how people would react if Annabelle didn’t make it.

What Annabelle has shown me is that death is immanent but does not have to be the means to an end. Rather, it is the celebration of a new life with our creator in heaven. During Annabelle’s time in the hospital, I found myself praying and reading the Bible more than I ever have in my life. I began to gain a true understanding of the amazing grace displayed by Jesus as he died for all of us on the cross. Through Annabelle, my faith has been renewed and I now have a passion and desire to share the message of Jesus Christ. I have had the opportunity to witness to more people through Annabelle’s situation than I have in my entire life.

Annabelle’s life has brought together a community of believers to celebrate the love of Jesus Christ. Reading through the entries on her web site I saw entries from places as far away as India and Norway. God’s grace has no boundaries. As Christians we are all brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus. In honor of Annabelle, and especially our Lord and Savior, I challenge everyone to continue to display the love and compassion towards one another that has been widespread throughout this incredible journey with this precious little girl.

Yes, I continue to grieve along with the rest of you over Annabelle’s death, and I long for the chance when I can hold her in my arms once again. But what joy fills my heart to have the assurance that I will one day be with her again in heaven.

I would like to share with all of you a poem I took off of Annabelle’s web site that I feel is written specifically for Mark and Ellie as they grieve over the loss of their daughter.

"I'll lend you for a little time,
a child of mine," He said.
"For you to love while she lives
and mourn when she is dead.
It may be only months or years,
But will you, till I call her back,
take care of her for me?
She'll bring her charms to gladden you,
and shall her stay be brief,
You'll have her lovely memories as
solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay,
since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over
in my search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd
life's lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give her all your love,
nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call,
to take her back again?
I fancied when I heard you say,
'Dear Lord, Thy will be done.
For all the joy this child shall bring,
the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter her with tenderness,
We'll love her while we may;
And for the happiness we've known,
will ever grateful stay.
But shall the angels call for her
much sooner than we planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
and try to understand.' "

Tuesday February 19, 2002 11:47 AM CST

I'm not sure how many of you are still checking the web site, but regardless of the number, I want to share some of Annabelle's memorial service with you. Below is one of the memories written by our good friend Nicole.

I want to tell you, too, that Mark and I are OK. We cry a lot and our hearts hurt but we know that Annabelle is safe and surrounded with love. We look forward to telling future little Loschkos about their missionary sister, Annabelle.

God's Peace and Comfort,
Ellie

ANNABELLE LOUISE LOSHKO MEMORIAL SERVICE February 16, 2002

I am honored to be speaking to you all today. I was so humbled as I began to collect my thoughts about what I would say. I prayed to God, "How am I going to summarize the enormourmity, momentous importance of Annabelle’s short life. How can I reiterate the immensity of her life’s impact on our world. Annabelle touched so many people, she changed our lives forever by bringing us closer to God and developing our personal relationships with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I met Mark and Ellie a year and a half ago through church when we joined a Newlywed Bible Study group. The five couples in the group have become very close over the past year and a half. Ellie was the first in the group to become pregnant. The whole group felt "we" were going to have our first baby. I immediately called myself Auntie Nicki and there was great joy on September 9th when the baby was born and named Annabelle.

Annabelle was a happy healthy, beautiful baby girl. We held a bible study at Mark and Ellie’s the week before Annabelle got sick. All of us got to hold her and listen to her fuss as Ellie and Mark lead us in prayer. While always at the center of our attention, we got the sense that she just wanted to be a part of the group. While in St. Louis the nurses teased that Annabelle was always trying to be the center of attention when she kept them on their toes with her varying heartbeats and other issues. But again, we know she just wanted to be part of the group. Annabelle always fought so valiantly and hung in there through all the procedures that could have possibly given her a chance at extending her life.

Imagine with me now, as I try to compare the way Annabelle touched our world, with a small pebble on the shore of a pond in the middle of a forest, home to a multitude of creatures. God picked up the pebble and hurled it through the air to the center of the pond. Plop! Waves rippled in concentric circles to the pond’s edge. First one ripple, then another, then another. Amazing.

It started with Mark and Ellie and Annabelle at the clinic, then St. Joseph’s, then Minneapolis, and finally St. Louis. Ellie and Mark probably called their parents and friends, then in turn they called their friends, and her story continued to grow. The Internet became a form of communication that rapidly spread her story and plight across the world. We watched as the ripple effect continued. One person, then another, then another. When God hurled the rock of Annabelle’s plight into the center of the pond of relationships, we saw the ripple effects on others as we shared our prayers and hopes for Annabelle.

Even now, we must be convinced that our loss of Annabelle can still have a ripple and an eternal effect in others’ lives. Consider Our Lord, he invested Himself in twelve men’s lives...who invested in others...who invested in others...who invested in others. The ripple effect of His life changed the world and still does today, even though, He is gone physically.

When God sent his son Jesus to be our Savior, he did not just come to die. He came also as a model, to give us an example of how to teach others about faith, love, compassion and hope. Our goal as Christians is to be followers of Christ and to be Christ like.

Mark, Ellie and Annabelle are God’s instruments to bring people all over the world closer to him. They have brought a community of believers together, who then also went out and shared the story with others. All in the glory and honor of God. Each time people talked about Annabelle, they also talked about prayer and faith in God. Annabelle’s web site is a testimony of not only Mark and Ellie’s faith, but thousands of others as well. Many of us would check the website several times a day waiting for updates. The 500 pages of guest book entries are like hundreds of Sermons and testimonies. People quoted scripture, worshiped and praised God and proclaimed his goodness and grace. The guestbook entries ministered and supported not only Mark and Ellie, but also was a witness to thousands who visited the website.

The Annabelle pins we made brought together a community of believers who "wanted to do something to help." So many prayer warriors and volunteers got together and worked late into the night making pins. The pins became a symbol of so much. For example, the bell on the pins was an after thought that seemed like a good idea because of her name Annabelle. It didn’t take long though to realize that it served us as a reminder to pray each time we heard it.

I am amazed at God’s ability to choose one little, beautiful, strong spirited, fighter, baby girl and her courageous, devote, holy, honorable, prodigious parents to bring thousands of people closer to God and perhaps even a few to know Jesus for the first time.

When Annabelle Louise went home to the arms of Jesus, our hearts broke along with Mark and Ellie’s, but we also rejoice that Annabelle's heart is healed for eternity!

On behalf of everyone, thank you Mark and Ellie for sharing this day with us and letting us all be a witness to the intimate battle you fought. It was a long journey, thank you for letting us in to help with prayers. We are grateful that you are home now with us and we look forward to someday seeing Annabelle in our heavenly home. We are all so sorry for your loss. We want to take care of you now, like you did for Annabelle. The sacred scripture says we are to bear one anothers burdens and we pray for the grace to do that. For a burden shared is a burdon lessoned. Ellie and Mark, your faith is inspirational.

Now I want to share a prayer with you written by the baby’s mother. Let us Pray.

"God always keeps his promises and He is always faithful. Our prayer is that each of your hearts are closer to God and the knowledge of Jesus because of Annabelle's life. Thank you for your prayers and for joining us on this long journey."

Our hearts are closer to God because of Annabelle’s life.

Thursday February 14, 2002 7:14 PM CST

Annabelle's Memorial Service will be held at Lakewood Evangelical Free Church in Baxter on Saturday, February 16th at 2:30 PM. There will be a fellowship time after the service. All are welcome.

I want to share with you two of the verses that are going to be printed in Annabelle's memorial folder:

"All the days ordained for Annabelle were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:16

"For I know the plans I have for Annabelle," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper Annabelle and not to harm her, plans to give her hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Any memorials in honor of Annabelle's life can be sent to:
Annabelle Loschko Heart Fund
Northern National Bank
Attn: Kathy
PO Box 2690
Baxter, MN 56425

Again, thank you for your prayers and support. We could not get through this without our faith in God and each of you.

Love to all,
Mark and Ellie

Tuesday February 12, 2002 11:10 PM CST

This is the journal entry I hoped I would never write. Annabelle Louise went home to the arms of Jesus late this afternoon. Our hearts are broken and we know that part of them will be broken forever, but we rejoice that Annabelle's heart is healed for eternity! I want to share a story with you that is providing us with some comfort at this time. Today as Judy and Erica Christian (the family we are staying with) were driving to the hospital, they saw a rainbow coming straight down from the sky. There was no rain in sight and it occurred at the exact time that Annabelle went to Heaven. We are confident that it was a reminder from our Father of His love for us and for Annabelle. God always keeps his promises and He is always faithful. Our prayer is that each of your hearts are closer to God and the knowledge of Jesus because of Annabelle's life. Thank you for your prayers and for joining us on this long journey.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and sweet Annabelle

Monday February 11, 2002 7:21 PM CST

Another busy day - but a lot more stable!

Prayer Requests:
*Praise God, Annabelle is starting to pee!
*Praise for a "critically" stable day
*Ask for strength for her heart
*Ask for healing for her kidneys so that she can stay off of dialysis
*Ask for healing for her lungs
*Ask for healing and protection against infection
*Ask for wisdom for our doctors and nurses

We are taking one day and one victory at a time. Annabelle is a very sick little girl but God has given her the gift of a fighting spirit and she continues to persevere.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Sunday February 10, 2002 6:33 PM CST

Yesterday was an emotionally busy day! Initially, Annabelle did fine off of ECMO but she started to have complications in the afternoon. Our surgeon performed another procedure that seems to have helped her heart function.
Here are our prayer requests:
*Praise and Thanks for providing a new heart
*Praise for the miracle He performed yesterday coming off ECMO
*Praise for providing wisdom to our doctors to choose the right treatment options
*Praise for the gift of Annabelle's fighting spirit
*Ask and believe in the continued healing and strengthening of Annabelle's new heart
*Ask for the healing of Annabelle's lungs
*Ask for protection and better function for Annabelle's kidneys - she is WAY BEHIND on her urine output due to her heart function
*Ask for strength to fight off the infection in her lungs and protection against any other possible infections
Well, this should keep your prayer time busy for awhile - I'll send some more tomorrow :)

Words cannot express how thankful we are for each of you.
Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Saturday February 9, 2002 1:30 PM CST

The battle is not finished but we have a VICTORY! Annabelle came off of the ECMO machine this morning and, so far, is doing fine. Praise God for his faithfulness and His mercy! This is a miracle!

As I mentioned above, the battle is not over. Annabelle's lungs are very sick and we need prayer for healing and protection. Please pray, too, that her heart would continue to get stronger and that her other organs would have normal function.

We are so grateful for all of your prayers! We know that God hears them.
To God be the Glory!
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

P.S. Today is Annabelle's 5 month birthday!

Friday February 8, 2002 5:38 PM CST

To all our Prayer Warriors:
Please put on the "full armor of God" (Eph 6:11) as you pray for Annabelle tonight and tomorrow. Because of complications, the doctors are taking her off of the ECMO machine tomorrow morning. Pray for protection and strength for Annabelle's body and new heart, believing that God is able to do "immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" (Eph 3:20). We are clinging to the words of Jesus: "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1

Thank you for your prayers!
To God be the glory!
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Thursday February 7, 2002 3:21 PM CST

Nothing new to report at this time. Annabelle is still resting on ECMO. The doctors will start weaning her this weekend.
God continues to work wonders as He keeps Annabelle safe from infection and bleeding while on life support. Please pray that she would continue to be free from any complications. Please ask God to take away our fear and give us peace as we come closer to an unknown road with each passing day.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

P.S. Message from Nicole: If you are intersted in receiving Annabelle pins or helping to make them, please contact her at 218-831-8487 Thanks!

Wednesday February 6, 2002 3:16 PM CST

Dear Friends,
I feel like I am running out of words to say to you...
The doctors are stopping the weaning process on the ECMO machine to give Annabelle's heart some more time to rest. The plan is to begin weaning again this weekend. Please ask God for strength for Annabelle's heart and rest for her body. Pray that Annabelle would be free from any of the complications that can occur while on the ECMO machine. Pray for our patience and peace as we continue to wait on the Lord.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Tuesday February 5, 2002 11:11 AM CST

The doctors are continuing to wean Annabelle off of the ECMO machine. The process is very slow and could take a few more days. So far her new heart is tolerating the wean, but we are still not sure if the right ventricle is working at an acceptable level. Please be vigilant in your prayer, asking for a miracle and believing that we will continue to see the glory of God.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

p.s. If you are interested in helping to make Annabelle pins or need more please contact Nicole Mills at 218-831-8487. Thanks!

Monday February 4, 2002 5:46 PM CST

To all my prayer warriors...
The doctors are going to begin weaning Annabelle off of the ECMO machine tonight. Things appear to be headed in the right direction but we will not know for sure until we give her new heart a chance to work on its own. Please be persistent and faithful in your prayer this evening and the next few days. Pray for Annabelle's entire heart, specifically her right ventricle. Pray for the hands and minds of the doctors. Pray that we would stand firm in Christ, resisting all opportunities for Satan to take hold.

"My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken." Psalm 62:1-2

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Sunday February 3, 2002 6:51 PM CST

We saw the goodness of the Lord this morning as Annabelle took a small step in the right direction. Our battle is far from over. Please be persistent in your prayers, asking that God breathe life into Annabelle's right ventricle! Praise Him for the miracle he performed on her left ventricle! Pray, too, that she would be free from infection and that her bleeding would stop.

Please continue to believe with us!
To God be the glory,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Saturday February 2, 2002 9:39 PM CST

Please be in prayer tomorrow throughout the day - specifically in the morning. Pray for the hands and minds of Annabelle's surgeon and nurses. Ask God to breathe the breath of life into her new heart! I'm sorry that I can't go into as much detail as before - but God knows the details - just keep on praying and believing.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Friday February 1, 2002 12:23 AM CST

Thank you for covering us in prayer during this difficult time. Annabelle remains extremely critical. Please pray fervently that God would touch her new heart with life and that He would continue to protect and watch over her. Pray that she would feel the touch of angels holding her close. Pray, too, that she would feel the deep love of her Heavenly Father and her parents as we stand at her bed side.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Thursday January 31, 2002 3:17 PM CST

OK, I know I said I wasn't going to update for awhile, but I couldn't stay away! I've really come to depend on the opportunity to share with all of you each day and to read your messages. Just so things don't get out of hand with my media friends, I will keep things brief :)

There is not a lot of change today. Annabelle remains critically ill. Please continue to pray that God protects and heals Annabelle. We believe and trust that He can! Towards the beginning of this journey, I wrote a journal about the story of Jesus raising Jairus' daughter from the dead. I am continuously reminded of Jesus' words to Jairus: "Don't be afraid. Just believe." It's hard to understand and trust such simple words but that is what faith is - trusting in something we cannot see with our eyes or understand with our minds. The story of Jesus healing a man born blind has also encouraged me during this trial. John 9:1-3 says: "As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples askedhim, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." To me, Annabelle's life is revealing the work and glory of God.

Please continue to pray for Annabelle's life. Our prayer and hope is that she will once again be able to smile and babble to us, but we cannot express to you how thankful we are for the hope of eternal life through Jesus Christ. Please pray that Mark and I would be strong, that doubt would be cast out.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Wednesday January 30, 2002 8:46 PM CST

Dear Friends,
I am so sorry for keeping you in such suspense! Today has been very exhausting. Because of a large amount of unwanted attention from the media at this time, I am not going to update the web site for awhile.

Annabelle is very sick. The next 5 -7 days are extremely critical in the outcome of her transplant. We are so thankful for your prayers thus far and need you to continue praying morning, noon and night. God is in control.

Love to all!
To God be all the glory!
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Wednesday January 30, 2002 10:36 AM CST

Well, the journey is not over yet. The heart is in place and beating but Annabelle is having a tough time off of the heart/lung bypass machine. The words we dread - ECMO - are back in the picture. Annabelle is going to be hooked up to the ECMO machine for a few days in order for her lungs and new heart to rest. The nurse said that roughly 50% of kids do just fine and 50% of kids do not survive. The major complication on ECMO is internal bleeding.

Please pray for Annabelle's strength. Pray for protection from bleeding and infection on ECMO. Pray that her heart and lungs will be able to function without support. Praise God for his mercy and the gift of hope for Annabelle.

We are learning that we can never leave the foot of the cross of Christ!

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Wednesday January 30, 2002 9:17 AM CST

Just received a quick update from the Operating Room nurse: Annabelle's new heart is in and beating! We will keep you updated! Praise God for laptops and quick technology :)

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Wednesday January 30, 2002 8:02 AM CST

Annabelle's heart has arrived! We brought her down to the Operating Room around 6AM this morning. She had a good night but gave us a scare with blood pressure and arrhythmias early this morning - just wanted to keep us on our toes right up until the last minute!

The doctor is sewing the new heart in right now. So far, things are going great!

We will keep you updated! Thank you for your prayers - God is so Good!

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Tuesday January 29, 2002 6:10 PM CST

We need prayer immediately! Annabelle Louise is getting her heart tonight! We don't have many details at this time - just that Dr. Cantor feels this is a good donor. Annabelle's surgery will take place sometime in the middle of the night.
Please pray for:
*The donor's family
*Safety for the doctors as they travel to get the heart - weather is not great
*Wisdom for Dr. Mendelhoff as he performs the surgery
*Protection for Annabelle against surgical complications
Above all, thank and praise God for His love and faithfulness!

This is the verse I read near the beginning of this journey:
"I am confident of this: that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart, wait for the Lord" Psalm 27:13-14

A new journey is beginning! I hope you will continue to ride along with us!
Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Monday January 28, 2002 3:29 PM CST

Annabelle is having a good day. Today marks five weeks that she has been on the transplant list for a new heart. The weather has been beautiful the past few days and we have been able to take some long walks in the park across the street from the hospital. Fresh air and sunlight is so good for the soul!

Please pray for protection over Annabelle as she waits. Pray specifically for the ability to keep her potassium and fluids stable. Continue to pray that God would provide a heart soon.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Sunday January 27, 2002 2:41 PM CST

Thank you for all of your prayers regarding Annabelle's arrhythmias! She is having a great day today. The doctors think her arrhythmias were probably a low potassium and sedation issue.

This is a very sad time in the PICU. There have been a large number of deaths lately - almost 1 a day. Please pray that God would comfort each of the families and they would know the hope that we have through Jesus Christ our Savior. Pray, too, for Mark and I as well as the doctors and nurses. It is difficult to see other parents in pain and children suffering every day. We need to cover this unit in prayer!!

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie and Annabelle

Saturday January 26, 2002 11:39 AM CST

Well, so much for a boring weekend! At around 9:30 last night Annabelle started having arrhythmias. She was in and out of them throughout the night and continues to have epidsodes this morning. The doctors are trying to determine whether this is a sedation, potassium, or pulmonary hypertension (would mean going up on her nitric oxide) issue. She is also getting a blood transfusion. Last night I broke down when we left the hospital. We are so tired and so broken. Please pray that Satan would be bound from taking hold of our weaknesses and that we would have complete trust in God.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Friday January 25, 2002 1:12 PM CST

Praise God for another quiet day! The sun is shining down on Annabelle this afternoon - literally! Annabelle's heart rate is up a little bit and she has a low grade fever but things are staying very stable. Her doctor said she is becoming a "boring" patient - we love those words! Please continue to pray morning, noon, and night for a new heart and her stability as she waits!

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

P.S. to all our Minnesota friends - It is going to be in the 60s tomorrow - time to unpack Annabelle's bathing suit!!!

Thursday January 24, 2002 3:26 PM CST

Today is another quiet, stable day for Annabelle! We were excited to find out this morning that a 5 year old boy from Minnesota received a heart last night! He arrived here two days before Annabelle.

I received some relatively bad news a few moments ago - a bacterial infection is growing in Annabelle's blood. At this time they are treating it with antibiotics and she will remain on the transplant list. My first internal reaction to the news was - Why? When is this going to end? But then I was filled with the words "I will not be shaken". We will stand strong in the Lord and trust in His perfect will.

Pray for the following:
*praise for Jonathan's heart
*praise for 2 days of stability for Annabelle
*thanks for all of the people God has placed in our lives to take care of us and the "details".
*strength for Annabelle's body to fight the bacterial infection
*strength, peace and patience for Mark and I
*a new heart for Annabelle

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Wednesday January 23, 2002 11:24 AM CST

Annabelle returned from her heart catheter procedure yesterday without the ECMO machine. Praise God! We are so thankful for the extra time God is providing us to wait without the heart/lung bypass machine. The reason we are nervous about ECMO is that it carries the potential for problems, including infections and bleeding in the brain. The longest a baby has ever stayed on ECMO in this hospital is 35 days and most are only on for around 14 days. The doctors tried giving Annabelle Nitic Oxide (I think I called it Nitrate yesterday...oops) in the cath lab and it seemed to help her. She had a great night and is doing well this morning. Some of the doctors are skeptical about how long the nitric will help her but as her doctor this morning said - even a few hours or a few days is better than nothing. Please join us in praying for Annabelle's continued strength and peace.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Tuesday January 22, 2002 2:01 PM CST

We need all of your prayers this afternoon. Annabelle had another sudden episode this morning in which her blood oxygen levels droppped, heart rate went up, and blood pressure went down. We met with Dr. Cantor early this afternoon to go over their plan for Annabelle. In a few hours she is going to the cath lab for a heart catheterization procedure. They are going to try giving her Nitrate gas. If this doesn't help they will put her on ECMO (heart lung bypass machine) this afternoon. I'm sorry that I can't give you clearer descriptions of the procedures - my brain is only capable of so much at this point - I'm focusing all my energies on trusting God. I believe His ways our higher and greater than ours but to be so blind is not something that we are are good at. Please pray that ECMO is not necessary. Pray for clear minds for doctors and nurses. Pray for the PICU unit - lots of action here today. Pray for a donor!!

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Monday January 21, 2002 11:25 AM CST

Yesterday was yet another to add in our journal of days to remember. Annabelle started having arrhythmias late afternoon. Her potassium level reached 7.1 - very dangerous, sometimes high potassium can lead to sudden heart attacks. Her lungs filled with fluid (she had been given a blood transfusion earlier which added to the fluid in her body and her direretics were not working) and the ventilator was not able to give her enough oxygen. Our nurse said that it is probably a feeling similar to drowning. At this point the doctors thought Annabelle might need to go on ECMO (heart and lung bypass machine). We could feel the tension and fear from our nurses and doctors as they raced to stabalize her. It was at this moment that we began to pray and called to ask many of you to pray. About an hour later the doctor came out to let us know that Annabelle had pulled through - that she did not need the ECMO machine - Praise God! The doctors changed her ventilator settings, gave her a huge dose of direretics and gave medicine to bring down the potassium. By 1AM she had urinated so much that her potassium was low! The doctors say she is complex, unpredictable and as one doctor says "a Time Bomb" and another "she's spoiled and wants lots of attention." It's always nice to find some humor amidst this stressful situation. Don't worry - we still laugh!!

God is so good - He put it on the hearts of some of our family and friends to be here with us this weekend. We needed them here to be strong and supportive through our traumatic Sunday events. We were also amazed to find out that while Annabelle was struggling yesterday, a group of people were getting together to pray for her - not even aware of the events that were taking place. God is working. He is here among all of us. He knows our hearts and our minds. We Praise you, Lord, for keeping Annabelle safe. We thank you, Lord, for giving wisdom to the doctors. We praise you, Father, for giving us comfort and peace. We thank you, Holy God, for sacrificing your own Son so that we could be united as believers in one body and come to you in prayer. We worship You!!

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Saturday January 19, 2002 6:32 PM CST

Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say Rejoice! Today has been such a great day! We have four visitors from Minnesota! It is so great to feel the love and support from back home right here in St. Louis!

Annabelle is going on three days of quiet rest and no arrhythmias - Please thank and praise God for these blessings! She spiked a fever this morning and is still a little bit above normal. Please pray that God would guide the hands and minds of the nurses and doctors as they try to balance her sedation and bring down her fever. We are learning that medicine is more than just a science but also an art form. It is amazing to listen to the doctors try to figure out what drugs or what combinations of drugs might work for Annabelle. When I told Pastor Randy this today he reminded us that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139) and that we are the "workmanship" of God(Eph 2:10). Annabelle truly is God's work of art.

We are hoping, praying, and wondering if this might be the weekend that God provides a heart for Annabelle.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support!

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

P.S. A message from Mark...GO PACK GO!!

Friday January 18, 2002 4:16 PM CST

Hi everyone! Yesterday and today have been very quiet for Annabelle. She has quite a few visitors coming this weekend. Please pray for their safe travel. We took some new pictures of Annabelle today - check them out on her photo page!

"For the Lord is good. His love endures forever."

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Thursday January 17, 2002 11:32 AM CST

Yesterday was a day of highs and lows! Shortly before Annabelle's heart cath procedure we were told that there was a possibility she would need to go on ECMO, a heart/lung bypass machine. ECMO takes over the function of the heart and lungs to give them a rest, and is really the last option to prolong life while waiting for a heart. During her heart cath procedure they tested a medicine called Milrinone on her heart but decided it would not help her. Her disease is progressive and the doctors found that her heart is getting worse but they felt the ECMO machine was not necessary at this point. We are so thankful that God is providing more time for Annabelle to wait on her own rather than on a machine! Annabelle did OK during the procedure but around 7PM her heart rate went back up into the 200s. The doctors fixed her potassium and she was able to pull out of the arrhythmias. This morning the arrhythmia specialist, Dr. Rhee, said there was an AV block and wants to add a third dose of Amiodarone each day. So far, the day has been quiet and uneventful.

I really feel like we are getting close to an end. Annabelle can't wait much longer. We are trusting that God loves her and that He knows what is best for her. We are believing that He will heal her - in His time and in His way. Please continue to pray for Annabelle, having faith that He can do all things and that He knows all of our needs. Pray a prayer of praise that God met our needs yesterday through another parent in the PICU. We were inspired by her faith and complete trust in God. We know that God placed her there at just the right time and in just the right place.

We are so thankful for each of you! Being in the midst of God's work and a community of believers feels so overwhelming yet so safe!

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Wednesday January 16, 2002 1:21 PM CST

Please take the time to pray for Annabelle today. Last night was very busy. Her heart rate was high, blood oxygen low and potassium very high at one point. After giving her a direretic (I know I spell that one different every time :) she got rid of excess fluid and her potassium levels dropped. She also spiked a fever for a few hours. This morning she was doing fine but around 12:30 she started to "brady down" into a heart rate in the 60s and 70s. She is able to pull out of it and bring her rate back up but she continues to go into these episodes. The doctors think she may be too sedated and are working to figure out if that is the problem. Her potassium was also low again and they are fixing that as well. An echocardiogram was done this morning but we have not heard the results. They are planning to take her to the cath lab for a heart catheterization procedure this afternoon. They want to see if there are any other medications that would help stabalize her heart function.

Please pray for the success and safety of the procedure and for Annabelle's stability
Pray that God would provide answers to the doctors and nurses
Pray for our complete trust in God as we encounter situations that we do not understand

Many of you ask what you can do for our family. Above all, you can pray without ceasing. But second, if you are not already a donor, you can consider the importance of giving the gift of hope through organ donation.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Tuesday, January 15, 2002 1:45 PM

Today was the last time for awhile that we will see Annabelle's eyes. Even though she seems to be tolerating being awake, the doctors think we are challenging her heart too much and are putting her back on the paralytic (muscle relaxant). I truly believe that the doctors want to do what is best for Annabelle, but it was so hard to feel her squeeze our fingers and know that it might be weeks before she can move her little body again.

Yesterday they attempted to put in a feeding tube called an NJ - goes through her nose, bypasses her stomach and goes into her instestine. They wanted to try this because she is not absorbing her feeds and real food is always better than IV nutrition. The tube went in OK but kinked at the end so after a few hours they needed to take it out. At this time they are not planning to try again.

We are striving everyday to live by our faith and not by sight. We are thankful for your prayers and for the word of God. Without it, we couldn't get through these days of waiting, watching, and wondering.

Pray a prayer of praise and thanks that Annabelle was able to open her eyes for three days, that she is still free of infection. Please pray that she will remain stable and rested as she waits for her new heart. Please pray that Mark and I would find comfort in the word of God and that we would not lose our hope or focus on His great love and purpose for our family.

Peace and love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Monday, January 14, 2002 12:30 PM

Hi everyone! Annabelle had a restful night. The IV in her head came out so they put a new one in her arm. This morning she got a little excited when she was awake - not crying but a heart rate in the mid 200s - so they sedated her quite a bit. Again, it was such a blessing to look into her eyes. She looks at us with so much trust. I understand, now, what it means to have faith like a child, but as an adult it is difficult to believe like that when things are not going the way we want.

Annabelle is having a hard time keeping her potassium levels up with all of her diretics. Please pray that putting more potassium in her TPN nutrition will fix the problem. She was getting a blood thinner called Cumeden in her feeding tube but they don't think she is absorbing it very well so they are going to give her a small shot of something that starts with an "L" (a type of Heparin blood thinner). She needs the blood thinner in order to prevent clotting.

Please continue to pray for a new heart!

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 04:00 PM (CST)

I am so sorry that I wasn't able to update the web page sooner! Yesterday and today have been very busy and emotional! Yesterday, our doctor decided that they were going to try to go down on Annabelle's muscle relaxant. I was able to hold her around 2:30 and we noticed that she was really starting to move so we had to put her back into her bed. A few minutes later she opened her eyes! She just stared at us with those big wide eyes and our hearts melted - we haven't seen her awake for over 2 weeks. It turns out that when our nurse was finished changing Annabelle's broviac line she forgot to unclamp it so she was not receiving any of her muscle relaxant - a very quick wean off of the medication! Annabelle tolerated it so well that they did not need to turn it back on and are trying to just go up on her sedation. It feels so good to see her eyes and know that she is still "inside" that little body. Please pray for her comfort and rest - she is fighting off sleep and starting to get upset. Pray that the doctors would find a good balance for her sedation. We are starting to feel the effects of 5 weeks in the hospital and with Annabelle awake need to be by her side as much as possible. Please pray for complete physical and mental rest at night.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Friday, January 11, 2002 at 07:13 PM (CST)

Today we experienced a small miracle. Around 5:15 this evening our nurse was not able to flush Annabelle's broviac line - meaning there was a clot either in her catheter or in her body. If they were unable to clear the line Annabelle would have to undergo another surgical procedure to put a new line in. Praise God, one of the cardiothoracic surgeons was able to flush the line with a smaller syringe. It was a tense momemt! Because her line was clotted, she was not receiving her sedation and was starting to wake up and in turn her heart rate was rising. She is comfortable now. Please pray for the hands of the nurses and doctors in the handling of all of her IVs and medication. Pray, too, that Annabelle would sleep peacefully this evening.

As of this morning, her cultures are negative for infection - Hallelujah! Pray that she would continue to be free from any bacterias.

Today was a hard day in the PICU. Two, maybe three children past away. Please pray for their families peace and comfort and if they do not know the Lord that they may seek His face during this time. Pray, too, for the nurses that cared for these children.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, Annabelle

Thursday, January 10, 2002 at 03:15 PM (CST)

I have good news and bad news today. We did get to hold Annabelle yesterday a few hours after I updated the journal - I think it was all of your prayers :) Holding her was quite a production - she has so many lines and cords to move - but it was wonderful! It felt so good to feel her in my arms - to actually feel like her mom again. The bad news is that we were unable to hold her today because they are nervous to move her while she is muscle relaxed. I am hopeful that we will be able to hold her again soon. Thank you for your prayers regarding Annabelle's infections - each day they are finding fewer bacteria in her cultures. Last night and so far today have been quiet for Annabelle. Please pray that the Lord would give her physical strength and endurance. She is losing some weight and most of her muscle. Please pray, too, for parents and families that are faced with the decision of organ donation.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 03:44 PM (CST)

I am trying to fight back the tears as I write you this journal. We were supposed to hold Annabelle at 2pm this afternoon for the first time since we have been here, but just found out that we have to wait until tomorrow. A VERY sick little boy just came in and needs the full attention of the cardiologists - please pray for him and his family. Annabelle had a rough evening yesterday with arrhythmias. The doctors think that it is related to the worsening condition of her heart and there is nothing medically to treat it. She was able to pull out of the episode and is having a really good day. It is so hard to describe to you how many ups and downs each day contains. There is rarely an hour that goes by without something. I am heading out to the movies this evening with one of my roommates from college and Mark is taking his mom out for dinner. We need an escape from the hospital! Please continue to pray for Annabelle's recovery. Our hearts are breaking. We thank God that we can find hope in His everlasting, all ecompassing love for us.

Lots of love,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

P.S. Today is Annabelle's 4 month birthday and 4 weeks since we have been in the hospital.

Tuesday, January 08, 2002 at 06:03 PM (CST)

Annabelle was free from any episodes last night - praise God! There was some confusion this morning between doctors and nurses over what IV lines were being cultured for infection. As of this afternoon, there was still sign of infection in her Arterial IV line so they removed it and so far have not replaced it. There is still no sign of infection in her blood and she did not spike a fever today. The results from her immune system test came back today and suggested that her counts were low - most likely from fighting the RSV. They are giving her a medicine to help her produce antibodies to fight infection. I can't believe how many different medicines this little girl has going into her body!

Please pray for the following:
*wisdom for the medical staff
*clarity regarding the infection
*rest and a "new" heart for Annabelle
*patience during the "wait" for Mark and I
*comfort when we mourn and when we doubt

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Monday, January 07, 2002 at 12:44 PM (CST)

Annabelle had a short epidsode of arrythmia last night around 10:30 PM and she spiked a fever for about four hours. Today she is doing fine. A fourth bacteria was detected in her new broviac catheter and is being treated with antibiotics. At this time, the antibiotics seem to be killing the other three bacteria. The doctors were puzzled by the new bacteria and are going to look closer at her immune system to see if they need to help her produce more antibodies through medication. Annabelle is starting to lose some of her hair because of inadequate nutrition. She is not tolerating her formula feeds very well - tends to become constipated and not absorb the nutrition in her tissues. They are going to start some IV nutrition today. Please pray that this would help her to build the strength she needs to undergo the transplant operation.

Thank you for your prayers!
Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Sunday, January 06, 2002 at 05:30 PM (CST)

Annabelle had a short episdoe of arrhythmia and low blood pressure last night around midnight but with some diretics to help her get rid of excess fluid she turned around pretty quick. Today has been a relatively quiet day. Her blood tests came back negative for infection so the antibiotics seem to be working.

Thank you so much for all of your love and support. Today has been the first in a long time where I really felt drained and doubtful but I am so thankful and blessed to rely on God's strength and on the prayers of my sisters and brothers in Christ. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through this without faith in God. I told my mom today that I am looking forward to the day when I can look back and see how some of the puzzle pieces of this journey fit together. We are learning what it is like to be blind - having no idea what each hour, day, or week may bring. But it is in this blindness that we see the power and holiness of our awesome God. Yesterday we read Psalm 139 to Annabelle and marveled at the fact that God knew Annabelle before she was knit together in my womb - she is his beautiful creation. It gives me such comfort to know that when we ache inside to pick her up and rock her - God is holding her in His arms and he loves her with a love that we could never possess. It is only this knowledge that gives us peace - that lets us know that she is safe no matter what the future holds.

We love you!
To God be the glory,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Saturday, January 05, 2002 at 07:08 PM (CST)

"Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name." Psalm 103:1

Annabelle had a quiet day! All of her vitals (heart rate, blood pressure, etc.) are great. We did have a little piece of discouraging news today - Annabelle now has a urinary tract infection and some bacteria growing in her breathing tube. This is in addition to the bacteria they found in two of her old IV lines. At this time they do not think the infection has entered her bloodstream and they are giving her three strong antibiotics to kill the bacteria. Please pray that the bacteria will not continue to grow and that her next cultures will come back negative. Please continue to pray for her rest and that God would provide her with a new heart.

To God be all the glory,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Friday, January 04, 2002 at 12:55 PM (CST)

We are approaching 48 hours of good rest for Annabelle. Praise God! A culture of her new IVs (Broviac and pic line in her foot) showed no infection so we are crossing our fingers that the infection was only in her old catheters. We should know for sure by tomorrow. In the mean time she is still on antibiotics. Dr. Cantor, her cardiologist, stopped by this morning and said that he is going to keep Annabelle muscle relaxed and sedated for the time being - she does not tolerate being awake and has no reserve left to be upset. I am glad I have no other news to report today! Please continue to pray, pray, pray!
Love you all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 12:33 PM (CST)

Thank you for your prayers - Annabelle had a quiet and restful night! Today the doctors removed the chest tube from her Broviac procedure and they also took out the arterial line in her groin and moved it to her wrist. We found out this morning that Annabelle has an infection in her blood. We are hoping that it was located mostly in the removed catheters and that antibiotics will clear things quickly. At this time she can remain on the transplant list. Please pray that the antibiotics would stop the infection from growing. Last night her blood pressure dipped pretty low so the doctors are keeping a close watch. They turned off her Esmilol drip and are only giving her Amiodarone twice a day in order to limit the amount of fluid intake.

I know you are all praying and that God is working because we continue to feel a peace even when we don't get the answers we hope for. Please pray that we would be free of fear as Annabelle waits for a heart.

Wednesday, January 02, 2002 at 04:04 PM (CST)

Annabelle just returned from her procedure. Both a Broviac catheter and a pic line were inserted. Dr. Huddleston said that for the most part things went smooth. She did have some bleeding in her chest cavity due to the procedure and because she is on a blood thinner it takes longer for her blood to clot. She has a tube in her chest to drain the blood and they will be watching things closely for the next two hours - otherwise she is stable. Please pray she would be protected from any complications. Her heart arrhythmia is better but still not totally under control. They increased her dose of Amiodarone and are going to watch things for a few days. If the irregularities don't stop they may have to ablate her AV node and put in a pacemaker. Please pray that the medicine will be sufficient.

Please pray that Annabelle will have a restful night - she tends to have her "episodes" between 2 and 4 in the morning.

Love to all!
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Tuesday, January 01, 2002 at 03:17 PM (CST)

Well, Annabelle decided to bring in the New Year with a bang! At 12:02 AM last night her heart started having arrhythmias again. Her heart rate was high so the doctors put her on a medicine called Esmilol and changed her Amiodarone to an IV drip rather than oral dose. Right now the nurse is doing an EKG as Annabelle's heart continues to have irregular beats. Tommorrow Annabelle is going to the OR to have a catheter put in for medicines. This will allow them to take out the IV in her neck. Please pray for the hands of Dr. Huddleston, her surgeon, that infection would be prevented, and that Annabelle would tolerate the procedure.

The hardest part about waiting for a heart is not only the lack of knowledge - a heart could come tonight or months from now - but also the fact that Annabelle continues to get sicker each day. It feels like we have said these words a million times but I don't think we can say them too often: please pray that God would provide Annabelle with a heart and that He would protect her. Please pray that we would be strong in the Lord.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Monday, December 31, 2001 at 02:56 PM (CST)

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...No, in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35-39

The love of Christ is what we cling to each day as we pray for protection and peace for Annabelle. Yesterday was a hard day. Because of the poor progression of her heart function, her lungs became full of fluid (pulmonary edema) and she started to drop her Oxygen saturation levels and the doctors and nurses had a difficult time bringing them up. They increased her sedation and her diuretics (helps her to get rid of excess fluid) and she has been stable since around 7PM last night. One of the surgeons is going to look for a new IV location today.

We love you all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Sunday, December 30, 2001 at 02:41 PM (CST)

Annabelle had a quiet night last night. The doctors would like to move the IV in her neck to a different location but were not able to find a vein large enough to thread the IV catheter. Please pray that the doctors would be able to come up with a new solution for the IV. Because she has had the IV in for such a long time there is a risk of infection and clotting. Please pray for protection over Annabelle, patience for her family, and that God would send a new heart. We continue to thank the Lord for your prayers on our behalf - you are all such a blessing to us!

Lots of love,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Saturday, December 29, 2001 at 01:55 PM (CST)

Please pray for physical strength for Annabelle. She is resting quietly today but had another episode of dropping her oxygen saturation levels last night. Her x-ray this morning showed more fluid on her lungs - probably why she is having such respiratory problems. The doctors started her on another diuretic IV drip to help get rid of the extra fluid. The only other plans for the day are to move an IV in her neck to a new location. Annabelle is able to be awake today with little irritation - please pray that this continues - she has little reserve in her body left to be upset.

Mark and I met a 3 year old girl named Claire this morning who had a heart transplant at 6 months. She was beautiful! It was such a blessing and reassurance to see her and know that Annabelle has a good chance for a "normal" life.

Just a few day ago we were dreading the idea of our beeper going off to let us know a heart had come for Annabelle but now we are excited and hopeful for that sound! Please pray that God would send a heart soon and that He would give Annabelle peace and strength.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Friday, December 28, 2001 at 01:30 PM (CST)

Annabelle is having a tough day. She continues to fight and drop her oxygen saturation levels when she is awake. The doctors increased her Fentanyl (pain med) and started a Versed drip (amnesiac med). Her ventilator was also turned up to full support - it will probably be lowered but chances are they will not attempt to take her off of the ventilator again. The doctors also increased her dose of Dopamine. So far she is doing well with the oral dose of Amiodarone (arrhythmia med). We have had a lot of positive conversations about heart transplant and all that it entails. In the next couple of days we are going to meet a 3 yr old girl who had a heart transplant as an infant.

Please pray for our patience as we wait...
Also, pray for God to perform the miracle of healing her heart or the miracle of giving her a new one.

Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Thursday, December 27, 2001 at 04:39 PM (CST)

Not a lot of changes for today. Annabelle is having trouble being awake so the nurses are keeping her pretty quiet. So far she is tolerating the decrease in her Dopamine medication and the doctors started her on oral amiodarone (arrythmia med) today. Annabelle is still on the ventilator and the weaning process will continue to be very slow. One of her doctors said today that she is making slow progress but her heart still has a long way to go - in the mean time we also wait for a new heart. Our praise for the day is that Annabelle is RSV negative.

We are blessed by your thoughts and prayers.
Love you all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle
P.S. the correct name of Annabelle's diagnosis is: Isolated Non Compaction Left Ventricular Myocardium - I think she may have some signs of Restrictive Cardiomyopathy as well.

Wednesday, December 26, 2001 at 11:46 AM (CST)

Annabelle is having a great morning! They are slowly weaning her off of the ventilator over the next few days and so far she is tolerating the changes. Her dopamine (medication for her heart) was decreased just a little bit this morning and her blood pressure has remained at a good level. I don't think there will be any other medical changes today - now it's time for her to rest! Her nurse did say that her X-rays looked much better this morning.

We received some of Annabelle's pins in the mail today - they are wonderful! All of the love that surrounds us is so overwhelming. The way that all of you give of your time to pray and think about our family is such a lesson to us.

Please ask God for healing and praise Him for the mercy He shows us and the love He gives even though we do nothing to deserve it. We continue to cling to the words of Jesus: "Don't be afraid. Just believe". Please believe with us.

Love you all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Tuesday, December 25, 2001 at 02:29 PM (CST)

Last night was a Christmas Eve we will not soon forget! Annabelle's lungs collapsed around 8:30 PM and she was put back on the ventilator. I don't think I have ever felt closer to God in prayer then during our wait in the quiet room while the doctors tried to stabalize her. We were reminded that God is in complete control and that when we are weak He is strong. Dr. McGwire said that Annabelle was probably just not strong enough to come off of the ventilator. They are going to give her a few days to continue building up strength and will try to take her off again. They also said they were encouraged by the way her heart responded to the stress of the situation. Here is the plan for the rest of the week:
*slowly wean her off of the ventilator again
*start to decrease her Dopamine
*start an oral dose of Amiodarone (arrhytmia med)
*watch the function of her heart as meds change and decrease

Annabelle looks good today. Thanks for your prayers!
Merry Christmas,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

p.s. the updated hospital address is listed below.

Monday, December 24, 2001 at 08:27 PM (CST)

O come, O come Emmanuel! We rejoice in the birth of our Saviour! I hope you are all having a wonderful Christmas.
Annabelle is doing OK. The doctors took her off of the ventilator today and she is breathing on her own. So far, so good. Please pray specifically for the following:
*That her transition off of the ventilator is smooth - she is kind of fussy
*That she can come off of the Dopamine medication
*That she can take her arrythmia medication orally
*That a heart will not come available until the doctors are sure she does or does not need a transplant - if a heart comes available before and is a perfect match it will be a very tough decision!
*That God would continue to provide peace and that any doubts of His sovereignty would be cast out.

Love you all!
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Sunday, December 23, 2001 at 03:26 PM (CST)

Another day in St. Louis and yet another day to see the hand of God at work. Annabelle is still sedated but she is off her muscle relaxers and starting to wiggle and peek at us. The plan over the next few days is to wean her off of the ventilator and some of her medications. Two of her recent RSV cultures have come back negative - we just need one more negative test and she will be RSV free - Praise God! Please pray specifically for Annabelle to be able to come off of the medication Dopamine. Please also thank and praise God for the opportunity to pray for Annabelle with one of her nurses this morning.

We want to wish all of you a wonderful Christmas! We pray that each of you will know and realize the true hope and promise that we celebrate during this holiday. God sent his son Jesus Christ to this earth so that we might truly know love, peace and joy and the promise of life eternal.

Love you all!
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

P.S. if any of you are intersted in the medical name of Annabelle's disease it is:
Isolated Non-Compaction Ventricular Miopathy (what a mouthful!)

Saturday, December 22, 2001 at 06:36 PM (CST)

Hi everyone! Sorry that we did not update the journal sooner but we have been busy getting settled here in St. Louis. Annabelle had a wonderful flight down to St. Louis - we think she was trying to show off a little :) Last night and today was full of blood work, tests and lots of doctors. Right now Dr. Rhee is working to fix Annabelle's arrythmia through medication. She has done really well the past 24 hours. Dr. Cantor, the director of the transplant program, told us that Annabelle's form of cardiomiopathy is extremely rare. There are only about 50 documented cases in the world so there is not a lot of text book information. His hope is that by fixing her rhythm we can hold off on a transplant at this time but there is always a possibility that she would need one in the future. Dr. Cantor did put Annabelle on the list for a transplant today. We should know the answer regarding the transplant by the end of the week. We are so amazed at the work God is doing in Annabelle's life. He carried her safely to St. Louis and He has a plan for her here. Please continue to pray that He will heal her heart!
We love you all!
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Friday, December 21, 2001 at 02:56 PM (CST)

A team from St. Louis Children's Hospital is arriving around 5pm to take Annabelle. I am able to fly with her and Mark is meeting us at the hospital. Annabelle is not yet on a list for a heart transplant - they will complete the necessary tests when we arrive in St. Louis. God is already working - we received word that at this time there are no other infants waiting for transplant. I will continue to update the web site while in St. Louis. This is an incredible journey - one I thought we would never take and one we will never forget. Thanks for riding along!! We love you.
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Friday, December 21, 2001 at 10:17 AM (CST)

Mark just walked in the room to tell me that we are going to St. Louis today. I have no other information yet. Please pray. We will keep you informed. Below is the journal update I had just completed before hearing the news.
Love and Peace to all my brothers and sisters in Christ,
Ellie

Last night was not very good for Annabelle. She is again having a lot of arrhythmia (irregular heart beats) and sometimes goes into SVT (heart beats over 220 times per minute). Please pray that God would protect her and make her strong during this struggle. Thankfully she is tolerating the fast rate well and her blood pressure, infusion and blood gases look good. One of our doctors phoned Dr. Cantor the head of the transplant team at St. Louis Children's Hospital this morning. We are waiting to hear if he thinks we should take Annabelle to St. Louis now or if we should run tests. We are not giving up hope that she will pull out of this and know that we need to "be strong and wait for the Lord." Thank you so much for all of your prayers. We can feel the love that surrounds us. When I was pregnant with Annabelle I remember thinking that God was going to use her for His work. Of course, my choice would have been some missionary work overseas etc. but it looks like He had missionary plans for her a little earlier in life. Our prayer is that through Annabelle's illness many will fully surrender their lives to Christ and that they will know how "wide and long and high and deep" His love is for each us. Please continue to plead with God for Annabelle's health and for our peace.
Love to all,
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Thursday, December 20, 2001 at 01:01 PM (CST)

Annabelle is resting quietly today. Please pray specifically for the following:
*pray for our patience over the next few weeks as we wait to see how she responds to new medication
*pray that the RSV would leave her body quickly
*pray that God would work a miracle on her heart
*pray for wisdom for doctors and nurses
*pray for our hearts and minds as we struggle with the pain of this situation
*pray that God would be glorified

Love to all!
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Wednesday, December 19, 2001 at 05:21 PM (CST)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lords "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 These are the words that we cling to in this difficult time.

Annabelle is resting quietly after her heart catheter procedure this morning. Dr. Singh said that Annabelle does have cardiomiopathy (disease of the heart muscle) and not mitral valve disease. Despite the unwanted news the Lord was present with us and we felt such a peace about the situation. I truly believe that the Lord hears our prayers and is working on Annabelle's little heart. Dr. Singh said that the pressures on her heart were better than expected and before diagnosing the need for a transplant they are going to wait out her RSV virus to see if the muscle disease could be treated with medication! Please continue to "pray without ceasing" that the Lord would heal her heart, that the RSV would leave her body, that infection would not occur and that God would continue to be glorified.

Here is a poem written by an 11 year old boy with a rare case of muscular dystrophy. It seems to capture some of our feelings:
On Being Thankful
Dear God,
I was going to thank You tonight
For a beautiful sunrise,
That was pink behind the fog down the hill,
And for a wonderful rainbow,
That I ran under pointing to
All my favorite colors,
And for such a great sunset,
That sparkled orange across the water.
I was going to thank You tonight
For all of these special gifts,
Except that none of them happened.
But do You know what?
I still love You, God,
And I have lots of other things
That I can thank You for tonight,
Even if you didn't give those
Very special gifts to me today.
It's okay, God,
Because I'll look for them all again,
When my tomorrow comes.
Amen.

Love you all!
Mark, Ellie, and Annabelle

Tuesday, December 18, 2001 at 10:25 AM (CST)

"I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" Psalms 27:13-14

Thank you for praying for our patience! The Lord hears your prayers and Mark and I have had a good sense of calm in the midst of the chaos over the past few days.

Today will be a quiet day for Annabelle - no tests or new medicines. We ask that each of you will pray specifically for her heart catheter procedure tomorrow morning at 11:30. The doctor spoke with us last night and said that we will most likely have an answer whether or not Annabelle has cardiomiopathy (disease of the heart muscle - requires heart transplant) or mitral valve disease (requires open heart surgery and mitral valve replacement). We continue to not give up hope that God will heal her heart - after all He made the blind to see, the lame to walk, and we cannot forget in Mark 5:21-43 that Jesus rose Jairus's daughter from the dead. We are comforted by Jesus' words to Jairus during his grief: "Don't be afraid; just believe." Mark 5:36.

May God bless each of your days. Thank you for your love and support.
Ellie, Mark, and Annabelle

p.s. visit our history page for past journal entries.

Monday, December 17, 2001 at 09:18 AM (CST)

"I thank my God every time I remeber you, constantly praying with joy in every one of my prayers for all of you, because of your sharing in the gospel from the first day until now." Phil 1:3-5 Thank you for all of your prayers and kind thoughts. Your love helps us to get through each minute of this difficult time in our lives.

Annabelle had a pretty good weekend. The doctors tried to take her off her arhythmia medication on Saturday morning but needed to put her back on Saturday evening. Sunday day and night were pretty quiet. Dr. Singh visited with us this morning and said that Annabelle will have a heart catheterization either today or tomorrow. This test can be risky but needs to be done in order to look closer at her heart and to see if her lungs could tolerate a transplant. During the test they will also take a piece of her heart muscle to be tested and look at her mitral valve. Dr. Singh said that the he and his team are still not confident that a transplant will be needed. They want to rule out all other possibilities and will be doing lots of tests this week.

Please pray specifically for the following:
*Annabelle's heart - that God would perform a miracle on the heart He gave her first
*Patience for Mark and I as the doctors run tests
*Wisdom for doctors and surgeons to uncover what happened to Annabelle's heart and how to treat her illness
*That her RSV culture would come back negative
*That infection would not occur due to the IVs and Respirator
*Protection and comfort for Annabelle especially during her heart catheter procedure
*That God would continue to be glorified

Saturday, December 15, 2001 at 10:51 AM (CST)

Yesterday evening around 6PM we found out that little Annabelle needs a new heart. The left side of her heart muscle does not pump correctly. Dr. Singh believes that she was born with this defect but that the RSV really put things into motion. There are two places that we can have her transplant done - the University of MN or St. Louis. Next week a heart transplant team from the U of M is coming over to give us more information and details about a transplant. Because Annabelle is in the hospital she will most likely fall into Category 1 (the most needy) but there may be children ahead of her. While we wait we want you all to know that she is very peaceful and doing well. Her weight, blood pressure, oxygen, blood gases etc. are all perfect. Dr. Singh is going to run other tests to make sure she does not have a rare muscle disease that can be treated with enzymes but the chances are very slim.

We truly believe the verse in Romans 8:28 "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose." It's hard to understand why God would let such a tragic thing happen to our little girl but we know that He will be glorified. We also know that He has a purpose for Annabelle and that whatever the outcome we feel blessed to be a part of His work. It's so comforting to know that He loves her and that His angels are guarding her when we feel so helpless. He is strong when we are weak. Please continue to ask and pray for miracles. God listens to our cries.

Thursday, December 13, 2001 at 10:55 AM (CST)

Well, it has been a crazy couple of days! As most of you know, Annabelle was taken by helicopter from Brainerd to Children's Hospital in Minneapolis on Tuesday. At this time we do not have many answers but this is what we do know:(please bear with my lack of medical terms)On Tuesday morning Annabelle went into heart failure. Her heart rate was about 300 beats per minute - 2 1/2 times the normal rate. The nurses and the doctors did the best they could until a helicopter arrived to fly Annabelle to Children's Hospital in Minneapolis. After trying a few medications the doctors were able to slow down her heart to a level they were satisfied with. The Echocardiogram that was taken upon her arrival shows the upper chambers of her heart to be huge and also a possible abnormality with her mitral valve. Right now we are waiting to see if the slowed heart rate will allow the upper chambers to become smaller and closer to normal. We hope to have some more answers in a few days. Unfortunately she also contracted the RSV virus (basically a cold but it can be serious for small children). She wasn't showing any symptoms before she arrived so the virus is most likely in the early stages. It usually lasts 7 to 14 days. Please pray that this will not hinder the progress of her heart. Today she is looking a lot better - good color and she even opened her eyes to peek at us:) Thank you so much for all of your prayers. It is in times like these that we realize how precious life is and what little control we have. We praise God for all of the little miracles we have seen throughout this ordeal. He continues to amaze us every day. We also thank God for binding us together with so many wonderful friends and family. It is comforting to know that so many are thinking and praying for Annabelle. She is such a beautiful little girl and We know that God has big plans for her.

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