Addison Jasper Toivola

4-9-99 to 9-9-03.
Welcome to Addison's Web Page. It has been provided to keep you updated about Addison's progress. Addison is a 3 year old diagnoised with heptoblastoma (liver cancer). He was diagnosed on April 16th 02.

Journal

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 1:07 PM CST

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

WOW HOW TIME GOES BY...THIS IS OUR 5TH CHRISTMAS WITHOUT ADDISON, IT JUST DOESN'T SEEM POSSIBLE. THE PAIN IS STILL SO REAL AND THIS YEAR SEEMS LIKE IT IS HARDER. SOMEONE ONCE SAID IT GETS BETTER WITH TIME. I DON'T THINK THIS YEAR WAS SO GOOD IN THE PAIN DEPARTMENT. I THINK IT WAS THE HARDEST YEAR FOR ME. MAYBE I FINALLY HAVE STARTED TO HAVE MY DOWN TIME AND THE SADDNESS SEEMS TO BE SO REAL. I HAVE CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP FOR ABOUT A WEEK NOW AND DON'T REALLY LIKE THE FEELING. I OFTEN WONDER HOW WOULD ADDISON LOOK, HE WOULD BE NINE YEARS OLD AND IN THIRD GRADE. I KNOW HIS BEST FRIEND WOULD BE THIS BOY NAMED KYLE. KYLE IS MY BUDDY, WHENEVER I SEE HIM EVEN AT TARGET OR WHEREEVER HE WILL COME OVER AND SEE ME AND SAY HI. HE IS SO KIND AND I KNOW HE WOULD BE ADDISON'S FRIEND.

I HAVE HAD A VERY HARD TIME WITH CARINGBRIDGE PAGES BECAUSE I READ AND CAN'T HELP BUT KNOW THERE PAIN AND DON'T WANT ANY PARENT TO GO THROUGH WHAT SO MANY OF US HAVE. IT IS SO TERRIBLE AND NOT RIGHT. THESE SWEET INNOCENT CHILDREN GETTING CANCER AND GOING THROUGH ALL THEY DO. THEY DON'T COMPLAIN AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW MOST OF THE TIME THIS IS NOT NORMAL. I REMEMBER ADDISON WHEN HE HAD TO HAVE HIS THIRD SURGERY TO REMOVE THE CANCER FROM HIS LUNGS HE KNEW THE PAIN HE WOULD HAVE TO ENDURE AND HE STILL WAS SO STRONG ALL HE WOULD SAY IS DON'T LEAVE ME MOMMY. I WOULD GO INTO THE OPERATING ROOM WITH HIM AND HOLD HIM UNTIL HE WAS ASLEEP. HOW TERRIBLE IT WAS TO LEAVE AND NOW I WAS BREAKING MY PROMISE. BUT THEY WOULD COME AND GET ME AND HE THOUGHT I WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME. HE WOULD HAVE TUBES COMING OUT EVERYWHERE. HE WAS SO STRONG I COULD NEVER GO THROUGH WHAT HE DID AND STILL BE HAPPY LIKE HE WAS. I GUESS BATMAN NEVER SHOWS HIS WEEKNESS. AND ADDISON PLAYED THAT PART SO WELL.

SORRY TO GET SO EMOTIONAL, I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN LATER. GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND REMEMBER TO GO AND TELL YOUR KIDS YOU LOVE THEM AND SPEND SOME QUALTIY TIME WITH THEM DON'T WAIT FOR LATER. LATER MAY NEVER COME.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.

DEB ASHLEY AND AUSTIN


ADDISON, WE LOVE YOU AND WISH YOU WERE HERE WITH US. I AM SURE HEAVEN IS THE PLACE TO BE AND SOMEDAY WE WILL BE THERE WITH YOU AND WE WILL ALL BE HAPPY AGAIN. MOMMY MISSES YOU FOREVER.

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Hospital Information:

Addison Jasper is in heaven
Debbie Aas-Toivola
114 West Michigan Avenue
Gilbert, MN 55741

Links:

E-mail Author: dltoivola@yahoo.com