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Laura's web page Laura Whitney Ullman died on October 5, 2006 after a 3 year 10 month battle with a malignant brain tumor. If you want to read her story go to Journal History.
Journal
Sunday, September 30, 2007 7:23 PM CDT Update 10/20/07;
Thank you all for your votes; the pic that won was of Laura with the blonde hair back during my sister's wedding; unfortunately i don't have the original, only a digital scan and it didn't enlarge. Probably OK; see the one I put on the site; I think it is probably the most beautiful she ever looked; with Nate as about a 1 year old at our house in Newark, DE. Hopefully it will suffice. Thank you all.
joe
well, it has been a few months since I added anything, and a few months since many people looked at the site, so maybe it is a fitting time to end this; Laura passed just about 1 year ago - 10/5/06.
The boys and I are fine. We miss Laura but talk about her casually. We picked out 5 pictures of her and emailed them to as many friends as we could think of and got a vote for 2 of them to have made into a stainless steel cameo to go on her grave marker.
It is of course hard to believe it's been a year; the trials and events of the last 5 years now still are sinking in; thinking of Laura's ordeal in big terms is relatively easy now but it doesn't take much to focus in on the details - the MRI's, the terror, the chemo, the nights rushing to the hospital with headaches, the fairly precipitous decline after May of 06 culminating in surgery, rehab, home care, and ultimately hospice and death, the blindness, aphasia, the deep love for her kids and the horror that that would be taken from her. That still surfaces and is just simply going to continue to do that. I do not like that her presence is beginning to recede but I guess that is a typical part of the process.
Couple of heart-rending things for the record. Our neighbors put up a great stone plaque at the end of our street - see the pics - and Claudette noticed recently that some flowers from our front yard were disappearing. One day she happened to see Noah riding on his bike and he stopped at the flowers, broke off a few, and rode up to the plaque and laid them there.
The second story is that Noah got a cell phone last year but Nate steadfastly refused to use Laura's. I thought it was just jitters using her phone, which was understandable, but apparently they told me that her voice was still on the answering machine for the line, and on special occasions they'd call it to hear her voice and leave her a greeting and message. Too much.....
Life's obviously full of passages; no great philosophy there. We're not unique; Laura's situation was unusual but not unique; beautiful woman in the prime of her life; loving Mom, two young kids, pretty much had it all, struck by an uncommonly terrible disease. But we've learned from this that there are many like her every day, sometimes even worse situations, and that we can all draw strength from this commonality. We - I especially - am grateful for everyone who ever read the site, sent an email, offered help, inquired how we were, provided care, stopped over, read to her, took the boys, etc. Those who meant some thing extra special to her know who you are; those who meant something extra special to me know as well, We all - including Laura - thank(ed) you in ways you can never fully know. I also am grateful to Caringbridge which was a great source of comfort and communication, and something I urge you to use or recommend to friends. I think it would only be appropriate to close down this site soon; maybe I will do it on the anniversary of Laura's death, maybe I'll just let it dwindle and lapse. It's been a year and although we'll never forget her it may be time to turn the page and move forward instead of looking back. Laura's legacy is alive in her sons, that is of course all ANY of us can ever hope for; the material stuff is just a salve for us in this life; the only accomplishment most of us ever have is our children. Certainly there are the Einsteins, the Beethovens, da Vinci's (if he died in the intensive care unit and was revived would it be the Da Vinci Code?), but even the great ones among us - presidents, kings, prime ministers; how many of them really leave a lasting legacy? Anyone remember any of James Polk's accomplishments? So for most of us our children are the ultimate legacy, and Laura packed a lot of mothering in 12 all too short years.
Probably no better way than to finish with Nate's poem: I got a kick out of it, esp. I think Verse 8!
No matter how hard we all try,
Or how hard we all cry,
At some point we will die.
Life is short in the grand ‘ol scheme,
So broaden horizons to a bigger scene,
And try ‘an spice up your dull routine.
All days have their ups and downs,
They got their smiles and they got their frowns,
Just take a look around!
We all go though mental and physical pain,
But most of us do not go insane,
Do us all a favor and wake up your brain.
Life is like a huge buffet,
There is work and there is play,
Work is bland, play is gourmet.
So by all means just take your time,
Smell some flowers or sip some wine,
Kick back, relax and just recline.
Take time to chill out with some friends,
Rock your world and start a trend.
Live it out until the end!
Humans are not meant to be alone,
Dial her number, slap on cologne,
Take a breath and go for the unknown.
Be a rebel, be a man,
Be a doctor or own a hot dog stand,
If you think you can do it, I bet you can!
Life is short on the grand ‘ol scheme,
Broaden horizons to a bigger scene,
And try ‘an spice up your dull routine!
!!!
Read Journal History
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